[Biosphere Collapse] 420 days of blazin' it

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Biosphere Collapse] 420 days of blazin' it

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mawarannahr: May 21, 2019

SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:

Hahaha holy poo poo

The current head of the Bureau of Land Management is a snitch and/or undercover cop who outed her group of tree spiking activists

lol nice

# ? Mar 3, 2022 03:52

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# ? May 28, 2024 04:44

Lordshmee: Nov 23, 2007; I hate you, Milkman Dan

Harry Potter on Ice posted:

Hell yes thanks, will take any more recommendations on or off air

fiction, but if you haven�t read it I recommend The Overstory by Richard Powers: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40180098-the-overstory

# ? Mar 3, 2022 03:55

Karach: May 23, 2003; no war but class war

almost criminal when you think about what's going on in the mycorrhizal network fed by that tree. an ancient tree might be a key node in its network, feeding nutrients and water to young trees to help them grow.

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# ? Mar 3, 2022 04:02

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:

Hahaha holy poo poo

The current head of the Bureau of Land Management is a snitch and/or undercover cop who outed her group of tree spiking activists

Absolutely undercover cop.

They don�t reward snitches like that.

Lordshmee posted:

Anyone who could look at something like that and think, �I just gotta cut it down!� is despicable beyond words. the very notion fills me with sorrow and hatred. god, I�m glad we�re on our way out.

Several of the very tallest trees weren�t cut down. It�s just that we cut down the rest of the forest, depriving the big trees of a wind break, destroying the soil, and dooming them through many other second‐order effects.

I say this not because it makes it better, but because it makes it worse that we are still loving doing it.

This is Big Lonely Doug. The old growth forest around him was clear cut only ten years ago.

He�s only seventy metres tall, but that qualifies as the second tallest in Canada today.

There were once members of his species perhaps twice as tall.

# ? Mar 3, 2022 04:06

Complications: Jun 19, 2014

Platystemon posted:

Several of the very tallest trees weren�t cut down. It�s just that we cut down the rest of the forest, depriving the big trees of a wind break, destroying the soil, and dooming them through many other second‐order effects.

I say this not because it makes it better, but because it makes it worse that we are still loving doing it.

This is Big Lonely Doug. The old growth forest around him was clear cut only ten years ago.

He�s only seventy metres tall, but that qualifies as the second tallest in Canada today.

There were once members of his species perhaps twice as tall.

That is some very finely tuned storybook tier sadism. 10/10, would hate again.

# ? Mar 3, 2022 04:45

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

https://twitter.com/USATODAY/status/1499208648295424006

# ? Mar 3, 2022 05:17

actionjackson: Jan 12, 2003

Rime posted:

It still astounds me it was even greenlit. Watching Threads at 16 was certainly formative.

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# ? Mar 3, 2022 05:32

Cloks: Feb 1, 2013; by Azathoth

Lordshmee posted:

fiction, but if you haven’t read it I recommend The Overstory by Richard Powers: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40180098-the-overstory

his newest novel would fit into this thread

it's about a widower with a young son who becomes involved in the climate movement. they accomplish nothing and his son eventually dies in a meaningless accident. end of the story, no moral.

# ? Mar 3, 2022 05:50

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

Lastgirl posted:

quote:
including the possibility of widespread power-outages that will strand elevators — possibly for weeks.

this is why i always have a granola bar in my bag

# ? Mar 3, 2022 05:58

biceps crimes: Apr 12, 2008

Platystemon posted:

One of the last tracts of old growth forest in the South was owned by the Singer sewing machine company.

The trees were gone by 1950 and with them the ivory‐billed woodpecker.

haven�t looked in this thread in a month or two, jumped in on a random new page and saw this. gently caress

# ? Mar 3, 2022 06:38

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

Stevie Lee posted:

this is why i always have a granola bar in my bag

i keep my energy stored internally via corpulence

# ? Mar 3, 2022 06:39

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

JAY ZERO SUM GAME posted:

threads is one of the most hosed up movies ive ever watched

only watched it once

I live in Sheffield (where Threads is set) and it�s great fun to point out all the local landmarks getting blown up, though most of them have been redeveloped by now anyway.

They�ve played it on a huge screen in town before but I was away that weekend ☹️

# ? Mar 3, 2022 12:30

Pepe Silvia Browne: Jan 1, 2007

Lastgirl posted:

https://twitter.com/USATODAY/status/1499208648295424006

nicolas cage in PIG monologuing about how 'the big one' will devastate the city of portland, and the survivors who are lucky enough to scramble their way out of the rubble will be just in time to see a massive tidal wave coming to wash their city away

# ? Mar 3, 2022 15:32

kater: Nov 16, 2010

now tell me the odds of getting multiple in the next three decades

# ? Mar 3, 2022 15:51

Hexigrammus: May 22, 2006; Cheech Wizard stories are clean, wholesome, reflective truths that go great with the marijuana munchies and a blow job.

Lordshmee posted:

Anyone who could look at something like that and think, �I just gotta cut it down!� is despicable beyond words. the very notion fills me with sorrow and hatred. god, I�m glad we�re on our way out.

Old, but still relevent:

Platystemon posted:

This is Big Lonely Doug. The old growth forest around him was clear cut only ten years ago.

He�s only seventy metres tall, but that qualifies as the second tallest in Canada today.

There were once members of his species perhaps twice as tall.

I did some field work with a couple of foresters once. It was interesting listening to them argue about which tree in the cut block to leave as a seed tree. One wanted to leave a tall, straight tree (prime sawlog material), the other wanted to leave a gnarly, twisted, unmarketable specimen.

# ? Mar 3, 2022 16:39

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

The Fieldbrook Giant was alleged to have been ordered cut down on a drunken bet.

The timing doesn�t really work out, the whole area was logged probably before the bet was made, but it�s a disgrace however it happened.

quote:

A HUMBOLDT PRODUCTION

An Account of the Section of the Huge Redwood Stump Shipped From Eureka to London

January 5, 1898

A few months ago the Times published an account of the shipment by the Vance Mill & Lumber Company of a section of one of Humboldt�s large redwood stumps to W.W. Astor, of London. Mention has also been made of the re-shipment at San Francisco of the huge piece of redwood and also of its arrival at London. In the New York Journal appears a further account of its reception and movements since its arrival across the pond which will be of interest to our readers:

People in England are watching with a great deal of interest to see whether William Waldorf Astor will win his bet, made nearly a year ago, that he could give a dinner to twenty guests and seat them all around a table made from a single slab of an American tree. Mr. Astor has had an enormous slab cut from the trunk of a California redwood. This tree was felled and sawed far from the sea-coast and laboriously put aboard a ship which took it around Cape Horn and brought it to London.

The gigantic slab is now lying on the ground at Cliveden, but it is still in a rough state and has not yet been made into a table. The slab weighs 13 � tons and it is 16 feet in diameter and 2 � feet thick. It has a circumference of 46 feet.

If Mr. Astor�s twenty guests are to sit at the table with any degree of comfort each will require at least 2 � feet of space, and this would call for a table 50 feet in circumference or 52 � feet, including the chair of the host.

The slab of redwood, as it exists at the present time, is somewhat uneven around the edges, and when it is trimmed to uniformity it is said that it may come down to a circumference of about 40 feet.

In Mr. Astor�s bet there was no stipulation as to the amount of room which each guest should occupy. This is a matter in which, according to English custom, a host may exercise a great deal of latitude, as dining room chairs here different very much in size, and tables are frequently crowded. Mr. Astor is taking a great deal of interest in the manufacture of this extra-ordinary table and is, it is said, intent upon winning his bet. In order to do this he may have a score of special chairs made, each a little under two feet in width. Seating his guests in these chairs, which would by no means be uncomfortable, Mr. Astor would win. But if any of the young lords whom he is going to invite to the dinner are built like Mr. �Fatty� Bates, of New York, there is certain to be a kick when they endeavor to crowd themselves into Mr. Astor�s two-foot chairs. This is an amusing contingency which is now being discussed in London clubs, and it will raise the whole question of the conditions under which the bet was made.

One proposition that was made to Mr. Astor was that this huge slice of California redwood should be sunk level with the ground and that the guests should place their chairs upon it, sitting around a big circular table rising from the center. But when measurements were made it was found that this would call for a much larger slab than the tone Mr. Astor has secured, and which was the largest available slice of redwood that money could buy.

He would have no chance at all of winning the bet if the slab were to be used as a flooring. His only chance is to make it into a table, and this work is now about to be begun. It will make a table the likes of which exists in no other part of the world. It will be the most expensive table in existence, and undoubtedly the most curious, and people are already so anxious to see it that Mr. Astor could go on for years giving dinners around this slice of redwood without exhausting the curiosity of the aristocratic circles.

This proposed top is so ponderous that the mere question of making it into a dinner table is seriously bothering the conservative minds of the English cabinet makers and carpenters who will undertake the job. Mr. Astor has had a great deal of difficulty in driving into the heads of these people that he want the table made as he desires it, and not as they wish it. In England if you do anything at all outside of the ordinary routine, it is almost impossible to get your orders filled. All of the fittings of the table and legs which will support it must be of the most ponderous nature to sustain the huge weight of thirteen and a half tons of redwood.

When this gigantic slab of a California tree was take at London out of the hold of the ship which brought it around the Horn and drawn all the way along the banks of the Thames to Cliveden, it excited the wonder and amazement of the whole population. The journey from London to Cliveden occupied two days during the first week of last month. The slice of tree was loaded on to what they call here a trolley. This was drawn by sixteen horses and attended by over a dozen men who, with the cracking of whips and much loud profanity, urged on the stout Norman horses tugging at the traces.

At one point on the road the wide-tired wheels of the trolley sink into a culvert and it took three hours labor with hoisting jacks to get them out. Heavy planks were also used when the trolley was pulled over soft places in the road. But the weight of the redwood slice was so enormous that it smashed these thick planks, and the wheels again several times sank into the roadway and had to be lifted out with hoisting jacks.

Several firms of contractors, jobmasters, carters and truck owners were employed in this curious task of hauling Mr. Astor�s table top along the bank of the Thames. When opposite the Dumb Bell Tavern the whole cavalcade stopped to take a drink, in accordance with the immemorial British usage. At this point the gigantic slab of redwood was photographed, with the carters and contractors in the foreground. Some of these men were also employed by Mr. Astor in transporting the stupendous blocks of stone which form a part of his new gigantic fountain, and some of these block of stone weigh quite as much as the redwood slice.

So accustomed have the people along the road become to seeing stupendous objects pulled by anywhere from a dozen to sixteen horses that hardly anything Mr. Astor could now do would surprise the. At the Dumb Bell Tavern his fancy for enormous weights is frequently discussed. He has had more heavy carting done than any man in the history of England. This heavy carting along the roads about Maidenhead calls for a huge quantity of drinking of ale and bitter beer by the carters, so that Mr. Astor�s name is now popular in all the public houses about the neighborhood.

The work on the redwood slab is going to be done at Cliveden, where a special carpenter�s shop will be erected over the slab as it now lies on the ground. The work of trimming and polishing it may take as much as six months, for the wood is extremely hard, and special tools will have to b made for the purpose. The table, when finished will have cost, it is said, over $30,000.

quote:

Eric [Hollenbeck of Blue Ox Millworks] also said he has the original saw used to cut the Giant down up in his rafters.

I suspect that this is that saw (image via Google Maps):

# ? Mar 3, 2022 17:07

Harry Potter on Ice: Nov 4, 2006; IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED

Hexigrammus posted:

Old, but still relevent:

I did some field work with a couple of foresters once. It was interesting listening to them argue about which tree in the cut block to leave as a seed tree. One wanted to leave a tall, straight tree (prime sawlog material), the other wanted to leave a gnarly, twisted, unmarketable specimen.

Oh yea, I've had this argument before. Drive around and see which gets left lol

Platystemon posted:

The Fieldbrook Giant was alleged to have been ordered cut down on a drunken bet.

The timing doesn�t really work out, the whole area was logged probably before the bet was made, but it�s a disgrace however it happened.

Another great share, thanks. Cant imagine being around the energy of a tree like that

# ? Mar 3, 2022 17:20

uguu: Mar 9, 2014

Good news!
The UN is putting a stop to plastic pollution.

https://news.un.org/en/story/2022/03/1113142

Or atleast they're gonig to make a treaty by 2024.

quote:

�Today marks a triumph by planet earth over single-use plastics. This is the most significant environmental multilateral deal since the Paris accord. It is an insurance policy for this generation and future ones, so they may live with plastic and not be doomed by it.� said Inger Andersen, Executive Director of UNEP.

Oh.

Also reducing production didn't make the text, only promoting sustainable production and consumption \o/

# ? Mar 3, 2022 17:24

Cloks: Feb 1, 2013; by Azathoth

hell yeah I'm excited to think about all the ways we'll address these issues in the future

# ? Mar 3, 2022 17:28

kater: Nov 16, 2010

the toothpaste I use now comes in a hdpe recyclable container and there�s ads all over it saying this.

whew.

# ? Mar 3, 2022 17:36

Harry Potter on Ice: Nov 4, 2006; IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED

Gonna start buying and hoarding plastic now just in case

# ? Mar 3, 2022 17:39

Karach: May 23, 2003; no war but class war

can't wait until we're nostalgic for plastic goods and cellulosic packaging is being shaped to remind us of Garfield phones and poo poo

# ? Mar 3, 2022 17:54

Brainwreck: Mar 17, 2009; Dinosaur Gum

https://massextinction.events has been restored btw.

# ? Mar 3, 2022 18:04

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

i recommended it to my dear sweet old mom because im a terrible son

# ? Mar 3, 2022 18:25

Karach: May 23, 2003; no war but class war

The Protagonist posted:

i recommended it to my dear sweet old mom because im a terrible son

post her hot take on the semantic apocalypse, please

# ? Mar 3, 2022 18:44

actionjackson: Jan 12, 2003

did Biden even mention climate change in the SOTU lol

# ? Mar 3, 2022 20:42

bedpan: Apr 23, 2008

actionjackson posted:

did Biden even mention climate change in the SOTU lol

climate change is over. Biden signed onto the paris agreement.

# ? Mar 3, 2022 20:43

Pepe Silvia Browne: Jan 1, 2007

actionjackson posted:

did Biden even mention climate change in the SOTU lol

thanks, we lost 2024 because of this criticism smdh

# ? Mar 3, 2022 20:46

Trabisnikof: Dec 24, 2005

actionjackson posted:

did Biden even mention climate change in the SOTU lol

�
We�ll create good jobs for millions of Americans � modernizing roads, airports, ports, waterways � all across America. And we�ll do it to withstand the devastating effects of climate crisis and promote environmental justice.
�
And second, let�s cut energy costs for families an average of $500 a year by combatting climate change.
�

# ? Mar 3, 2022 20:47

Bob Socko: Feb 20, 2001

SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:

Hahaha holy poo poo

The current head of the Bureau of Land Management is a snitch and/or undercover cop who outed her group of tree spiking activists

Huh, I thought they pulled her nomination. I guess not!

# ? Mar 3, 2022 21:46

silicone thrills: Jan 9, 2008; I paint things

actionjackson posted:

did Biden even mention climate change in the SOTU lol

lol he did in the context of "were going to make houses more energy efficient" which was a big ol lmao

# ? Mar 3, 2022 23:20

mahershalalhashbaz: Jul 22, 2021; by Pragmatica
(and can't post for 7 days!)

Karach posted:

almost criminal when you think about what's going on in the mycorrhizal network fed by that tree. an ancient tree might be a key node in its network, feeding nutrients and water to young trees to help them grow.

sorrowful rage

# ? Mar 3, 2022 23:27

mahershalalhashbaz: Jul 22, 2021; by Pragmatica
(and can't post for 7 days!)

Hexigrammus posted:

I did some field work with a couple of foresters once. It was interesting listening to them argue about which tree in the cut block to leave as a seed tree. One wanted to leave a tall, straight tree (prime sawlog material), the other wanted to leave a gnarly, twisted, unmarketable specimen.

a local old dude often comes up and talks to me while i'm building habitat around the base of the big eucalypts in the park. he was in the timber trade. while we're talking, as i'm lavishing love upon the base of the tree, he's gazing up into the canopy rhapsodising about how long and straight the planks would be and how many tens of thousands they'd fetch in today's market

# ? Mar 3, 2022 23:31

Karach: May 23, 2003; no war but class war

that's why they call it getting wood!!

# ? Mar 3, 2022 23:33

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Trabisnikof posted:

And second, let�s cut energy costs for families an average of $500 a year by combatting climate change.
�

U wot

# ? Mar 3, 2022 23:34

mahershalalhashbaz: Jul 22, 2021; by Pragmatica
(and can't post for 7 days!)

he also tells me stories about what the town was like in the 50s. they cultivated a stand of california redwoods in the botanical gardens and introduced a population of squirrels to live wild in them

# ? Mar 3, 2022 23:36

Seatbelts: Mar 29, 2010

all there old motherfuckers probably never imagined people would look back on them with such disgust.
1900: Look at how big this tree was! crazy.
2022: Look at how we ruined all our ancient forests, and it was THIS FUCKER RIGHT HERE!

# ? Mar 3, 2022 23:41

mahershalalhashbaz: Jul 22, 2021; by Pragmatica
(and can't post for 7 days!)

all of australia has problems with invasive californian flora, in a perfect mirror of the situation up north, complete with the introduced trees drastically altering the fire regime because they don't have the associated invertebrate ecosystem to keep their understoreys well-hydrated. there are random dense groves of monterey pine and monterey cypress everywhere. the native parrots like the seeds and they need all the nutrition they can get, so apart from the fire danger it's all good

# ? Mar 3, 2022 23:47

Pryor on Fire: May 14, 2013; they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

https://twitter.com/OllyMizzi99/status/1499523803533254656?t=50HsAfMLcYfkpAB73W4kOQ
:mood:

# ? Mar 4, 2022 00:36

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# ? May 28, 2024 04:44

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

Seatbelts posted:

all there old motherfuckers probably never imagined people would look back on them with such disgust.
1900: Look at how big this tree was! crazy.
2022: Look at how we ruined all our ancient forests, and it was THIS FUCKER RIGHT HERE!

Contempt for people cutting down behemoths isn't exactly unique to modern times

# ? Mar 4, 2022 03:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Biosphere Collapse] 420 days of blazin' it

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