r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Mx. posted:

I (35/m) think my sister-in-law (40/f) is messing with me but I'm not too sure.

Update: I (35/m) think my sister-in-law (40/f) is messing with me but I'm not too sure.

god drat those parents just really did not want the SIL living at home with them.

really buried this part in the text too

quote:

but my wife had her suspicions of Sue and told me that it's not outside the realm of something Sue would do.

when you hear someone is stealing medicine, gaslighting, and trying to trigger a mentally ill person as hard as they can and your response is "yeah that sounds like them" it's time to change the locks and block their number.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 10:05

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# ? May 30, 2024 07:45

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Mx. posted:

I (35/m) think my sister-in-law (40/f) is messing with me but I'm not too sure.

Update: I (35/m) think my sister-in-law (40/f) is messing with me but I'm not too sure.

What a rollercoaster. Figured it was carbon monoxide for part 1, didn't see part 2 coming. Hope this one is true. In-laws' campaign of terrorism all clicked into place when OP revealed he was black. Reminiscent of the "cards against humanity" party game company involuntarily committing the (decidedly non-mentally ill) black member of their staff when he told them one of the cards was racist.

WIBTA if I report single mom Uber driver for refusing my service dog?

quote:

I just obtained my service dog (not "emotional support animal"), an actual service dog.

I had an Uber driver refuse to let me in with my service dog even though I told her it was a service dog (it is my understanding that Uber/Lyft drivers are not allowed to refuse service dog even if allergic or afraid of dogs).

I told her it is not only against Ubers TOS to refuse a service dog but also illegal and that Uber would ban her as a result.

She was begging me to cut her a break because she's a single mom with a disabled son who's highly allergic, and needs to be an Uber driver because of the flexible schedule due to her son's needs and was begging me not to report her. I told her I'm disabled too which is why I have my dog, and imagine how she would feel if her son was turned away due to his disability.

WIBTA if I report her to Uber for refusing my service dog?

pentyne posted:

god drat those parents just really did not want the SIL living at home with them.

really buried this part in the text too

when you hear someone is stealing medicine, gaslighting, and trying to trigger a mentally ill person as hard as they can and your response is "yeah that sounds like them" it's time to change the locks and block their number.

I can't imagine why the parents would be reluctant to have someone like Sue live with them.

Makes you wonder how many times the wife's been complicit with Sue doing stuff like this.

Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 10:08 on Mar 4, 2022

# ? Mar 4, 2022 10:05

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

value-brand cereal posted:

There have been many stories of extremely poor hygiene in this thread. Yeah this is a real thing. And im not just talking about cishet men who refuse to wash between the rear end cheek because they're huge homophobes. Im pretty sure we got a terrible story about a woman staining a wood table due to lack of personal hygiene.

For specific white people nonsense theres robert Pattinson who notably refuses to shower for months at a time, amongst others.

For the love of god show your kids what a wash cloth is.

IIRC pretty sure in that specific case Pattinson is desperately trying to deter literal Twilight fans from sexually assaulting him.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 10:17

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

oh no, guy replying to the guy who was being gaslit by his family insults the family by calling them Psychos. That's uhhhh maybe the worst insult you could direct at someone on behalf of a man with a LITERAL PSYCHOTIC DISORDER.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 10:39

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Mx. posted:

Baller name for a baby

E: I've probably already told this story. But my sister wanted to name her daughter "Leda". I tactfully told her that it was a beautiful name but she might want to google it and then she sent me a ton of NSFW pictures from that search

She did not name her daughter Leda

...because of the swan thing? That's the only thing that pops up when I Google it, Leda is an uncommon but normal name here.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 10:49

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

AITA for telling my daughter that she made a hasty decision to get engaged to her fiancè?

quote:

My daughter Hannah (23f) is a medical student, She lives alone in a rental apartment while seeing her then boyfriend Tom (26). Tom has a medical chronic condition that needs to be managed constantly. He's a good guy and treats us and Hannah well but seeing Hannah having to sometimes take care of his condition is just...it affects her school and consumes her time.

Last week, Hannah surprised us by announcing that she and Tom got engaged. She made the announcement while visiting us and me and her dad were in dismay. She noticed and asked, I had to be honest and told her that she made a hasty decision to get engaged to Tom...knowing he has a medical condition that needs constant managing, which will fall on her especially when she moves in with him. she should be focusing on school for now. She was shocked but my husband agreed with me and said this wasn't a wise decision. Tom looked down for a minute then excused himself outside. Hannah got mad and said that Tom's condition doesn't affect or hold her back, not even one bit, and said that I was out of line to imply that Tom was taking advantage of her and that them getting engaged was a mistake. I explained to her that getting engaged and eventually marrying a person with a medical condition requires committments and dedication and frankly...I don't see my daughter becoming her partner's caregiver, despite her having knowledge about his condition. She shamed me and my husband for saying this infront of Tom then took her purse and walked out.

We called and called later but she was still mad at us. Eventually I said what I said because I was worried about her and wanted to make sure she was aware of what she was signing herself up to. Yes Tom is functional and can do most things by himself but I'm more worried about the future cause it can be unpredictable.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 10:50

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

Invisible Clergy posted:

Reminiscent of the "cards against humanity" party game company involuntarily committing the (decidedly non-mentally ill) black member of their staff when he told them one of the cards was racist.

Woah hey what now

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for telling my daughter that she made a hasty decision to get engaged to her fianc�?

I�ll guess that tom has something completely ordinary like the diabetes

# ? Mar 4, 2022 10:56

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

The most successful ad campaign I've ever seen was whatever safety institute paid a bunch of sitcom writers to have an episode where one character is the Designated Driver. Not just for propagating the idea into the public consciousness, but for managing to use sitcoms, the villain of this thread, as a force for good.

I have no idea what similar ads I've fallen for because they were smart enough to convince me I wasn't being advertized to, but I'm sure they exist.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 10:58

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Bubblyblubber posted:

...because of the swan thing? That's the only thing that pops up when I Google it, Leda is an uncommon but normal name here.

Yeah, because of the swan thing.

Ziv Zulander posted:

Woah hey what now

Here is an account by the employee himself going into greater detail on the experience. and here is the polygon article he mentions.

Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 11:05 on Mar 4, 2022

# ? Mar 4, 2022 11:00

moonmazed: Dec 27, 2021; by VideoGames

you're supposed to wash your legs?????

# ? Mar 4, 2022 11:18

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Looks like it's Tuesday again.

Legs: yes
Raw chicken: no

AITA for yelling at my bf for taking a nap with his roommate?

quote:

Throwaway. Sorry for typos I am so mad at my bf

So my BF (M22) and I (F22) have been dating for a couple months now and he is really really close with his 3 roommates (All M21).

Some background information on the roommates- so you know their dynamic- is that my bf and 2 other roommates are like �Bro� guys- frat boy kinda. The other one is the complete opposite, and gay. These 4 are actually pretty well-known at our college because everyone likes them so I got lucky to date one of them. Anyway, while I�m fine with them being friends, they are all so touchy to each other. Constantly hugging and joke hitting-on each other. When I confronted the gay one about this weird polygamous relationship he laughed at my face and said �Oh, I don�t know we�re just close and they remind me a lot of my family back at home, so you don�t have to worry about me ever liking them haha�

I even tried confront my BF about this multiple times and he just says that and his roommates are just expressive.

So today I was trying to get a hold of my BF because we were supposed to eat lunch together after I got done with class. He wasn�t answering any of my calls so I showed up at their apartment and one of the roommates let me in. I saw that my BF and him were taking a nap together and I snapped and screamed at both of them.

Both of them shot up from their nap cause I caught them and I then dragged my BF out of the apartment and had a talk about how weird it is for them to be this close especially when one of them is gay and could like him. I told him he needs to set boundaries and that he could stay at my house for awhile if he needed to. My bf proceeded to stay silent and then walk back inside and locked the door?? Wtf!!!!

I tried texting him about how I was maybe out of line there but the only thing he texted back was �A**Hole.� I don�t tjink I was being unreasonable, thIs is not normal right? I don�t have much friends so I don�t know who else to get advice from� so please AITA?

# ? Mar 4, 2022 11:22

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Thats just guys being dudes.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 11:35

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

�You need to set boundaries!�

�Okay. Bye.�

�wait no not like that�

# ? Mar 4, 2022 11:52

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Did someone say "boundaries?"

AITA for not wanting to call my daughter by her nickname

quote:

Hello. I am mildly new to reddit, this has caused a divide between my family and friends. A friend of mine suggested posting it here to get an outside perspective.

I have a 21 yo daughter, but she doesn't talk to us anymore. Her father and her had an extremely rough relationship, but I do not feel we have time to explain all that. In short, my husband has very traditional beliefs and attempted to get her to comply with those. The issue is, my daughter hates all her father's beliefs and came out as a lesbian in her freshmen year. She was very rebellious during high school for that reason. Got into a lot of fights, never respected her teachers, and swore like a sailor.

After a very serious screaming match with her father, she cut us out of her life at 18. I will not go into detail. My mother hates my husband and paid for my daughter to move in with her in an entirely different country after this, I believe just to spite him and me. We have had little contact with her since.

Now to the main problem. She hates her birth name and refuses to answer or accept it. She chose to go by a nickname she had as a child, 'spook', which I think is absolutely ridiculous. It was simply a nickname her friends called her when she was little. Well her birthday is coming up soon, and I wanted to try and reach out.

I kept calling her by her birth name in our short conversation. She refused to answer too Payton and said she'd talk to me when I called her by her 'real' name. Spook is not a reasonable name and I won't call her by it. Her 'friends' all called me an rear end in a top hat and say I never even cared about her, why care now?

I took this issue to my friends and family. It is a split between the two, a few members of my family and so-called friends say I'm an rear end in a top hat for refusing to just call her Spook to try and mend our relationship. Others agree its a ridiculous name and her real name is more reasonable.

AITA?

tldr; my daughter wants to go by a foolish name and won't talk to me otherwise.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 12:22

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for yelling at my bf for taking a nap with his roommate?

I think you missed an "ex" off the story title there OP lmao

Invisible Clergy posted:

Did someone say "boundaries?"

AITA for not wanting to call my daughter by her nickname

r/relationships: I will not go into detail.

AceClown fucked around with this message at 12:25 on Mar 4, 2022

# ? Mar 4, 2022 12:23

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

I am biased for ghost names.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 12:25

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AceClown posted:

I think you missed an "ex" off the story title there OP lmao

r/relationships: I will not go into detail.

It really is a perfect title isn't it? You can go into the comments for that one, if you want detail they are chocabloc with it (cw: attempted dog murder) from someone claiming to be spook's friend.

AITA for throwing my asexual brother a proper bachelor party

quote:

I�ll preface this by saying my brother (26m) and I (29m) are super close. And he is about to get married to his lovely girlfriend of 5 years. He has been an out asexual for 2 of those years and she�s been supportive of that. So have I, love who you love and all that. I�m an ally.

I am the best man at his wedding, or I was the best man at his wedding. His fianc�e told me last night that I�m out of the wedding party now and that my brother was too uncomfortable to make that choice himself (that�s weird if you ask me, be a man and come to me yourself, but whatever) I asked her why and she said it was because I didn�t respect him. When pressing further she said it was because he�s asexual. But I have been nothing but supportive of his life choices. Nobody asked him to have sex with anybody.

I was in charge of his bachelor party and I threw him a loving amazing party. There was booze and games, and all the poo poo you�d expect. But problem was, apparently he is rejecting the standard Bachelor party stuff. And that would�ve been fine but he never told me he wanted anything different. So around the halfway point of the party, I�d ordered a stripper to come in and give my brother a lap dance. And she came in and he was immediately really weird and tried to like, push her onto someone else. And I tried to encourage him that it was cool and not cheating or anything but he was pissed, called his fianc�e, and after about ten minutes left the venue early.

I tried to confront him about it outside but he told me that he�d �talk to me when he had cooled off� and he got in his car and left.

But he never talked to me about it, and his fianc�e did to tell me I was out of the best man slot. Should I even go to the wedding? Am I a bad brother? AITA?

Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 12:29 on Mar 4, 2022

# ? Mar 4, 2022 12:27

Darkhold: Feb 19, 2011; No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅

Invisible Clergy posted:

Did someone say "boundaries?"

AITA for not wanting to call my daughter by her nickname

Even before the comments I hated bot you and your husband and was on granny's side.

Reading the comments JFC....

Has to be the best 'missing reasons' post I've ever seen.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 12:46

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Textbook missing reasons, and like that great effortpost site about estranged parents said, a great demonstration of why it's so easy to read between the lines with shitheads like this; because they're all exactly the same.

AITAH for informing my wife I will be modeling for a company that sells adult toys?

quote:

Hi, I (36M) have been told I am a fairly attractive man my whole life. Recently my family has fallen on hard times. A small business owner recently approached me about modeling in one of their campaigns for some of their adult toys. I of course said no. I'm not a model and I never planned on being one. The owner gave me his card and said if I change my mind to give him a call.

When I got home I saw my wife and child were not home but my wife's computer was open. I saw google excel was open and our budget left no room for anything besides the necessities...again. Out of desperation I called the business owner and asked if he still needed a model. He said yes then set up a date and time we coulddo the shoot. When my wife came home I told her everything I wrote in this post.

Now it's important noting even though I will be promoting adult toys. I don't view bodies as inherently sexual and I'm only doing as a job. There's no other motive. I expressed that to my wife but she was still FURIOUS and demanded I call the guy back to cancel. She then asked how I could even think about accepting the job without asking her. I told her I will do no such thing and I'm a grown man who doesn't need anyone permission to do anything with my body. Now she's mad at me and calling me an rear end in a top hat. AITA?

# ? Mar 4, 2022 12:51

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Antivehicular posted:

NGL, if I ever end up with a glass eye, it'll be really tempting to start pulling revolting pranks with it

From Mark Twain's "His Grandfather's Old Ram":
"She was a good soul�had a glass eye and used to lend it to old Miss Wagner, that hadn�t any, to receive company in; it warn�t big enough, and when Miss Wagner warn�t noticing, it would get twisted around in the socket, and look up, maybe, or out to one side, and every which way, while t� other one was looking as straight ahead as a spy-glass. Grown people didn�t mind it, but it most always made the children cry, it was so sort of scary. She tried packing it in raw cotton, but it wouldn�t work, somehow�the cotton would get loose and stick out and look so kind of awful that the children couldn�t stand it no way. She was always dropping it out, and turning up her old dead-light on the company empty, and making them oncomfortable, becuz she never could tell when it hopped out, being blind on that side, you see. So somebody would have to hunch her and say, �Your game eye has fetched loose, Miss Wagner dear��and then all of them would have to sit and wait till she jammed it in again�wrong side before, as a general thing, and green as a bird�s egg, being a bashful cretur and easy sot back before company. But being wrong side before warn�t much difference, anyway; becuz her own eye was sky-blue and the glass one was yaller on the front side, so whichever way she turned it it didn�t match nohow. "

# ? Mar 4, 2022 12:58

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for referring to writing Excel formulas as code?

quote:

I am in my mid thirties at a company in a non-IT role. I've always loved teaching myself different things though I'm not anything special when it comes to computers.

When I started working there, my predecessor did a lot by hand. I realized that Excel formulas could do a lot of the menial tasks, freeing me up to work on big picture things. When my bosses saw how efficiently I was able to generate reports, they asked me to assist other departments with tracking and reports, so I began automating a good amount of the tracking we're required to do and it's made everyone's lives a lot easier.

This is probably 75% IF statements with a few VLOOKUP and Power Queries set up but no macros (not allowed due to security and beyond my abilities).

The other night at a gathering with some friends, one girl, Amy, had her new boyfriend, Steve, there and he worked as a SQL developer. He was talking about getting frustrated because a function wouldn't execute only to realize that someone had forgotten to close a bracket.

I replied that I'd had a similar problem with some code I'd written and spent an hour before realizing I'd put a parenthesis in the wrong spot. He inquired what language I programed in. I replied that it was one of several nested Microsoft Excel formulas I'd written.

He laughed, "That's not coding. That's doing what any high school kid with a laptop can do."

I replied, "OK writing formulas. I'm the only one in my office that does it."

He replied, "You're just trying to make yourself sound smarter by calling it coding. You know what you did, and you got caught, take the L and move on."

One of my friends changed the subject, mercifully. Later on, when I went to answer a text, he said, "You do know that's called typing and not coding, right? Don't want you to get confused."

I replied, "Wow, you really are that much of a loving prick, aren't you?"

"I'm not a prick! I just caught you in a lie," he said.

"Oh, shut the gently caress up. Nobody cares," I replied.

Nothing else came up that night. Things are tense with Amy and my girlfriend right now. Amy says that Steve doesn't like when people fake who they are and I escalated things and made them personal. My girlfriend thinks I went a bit over the top but he was clearly antagonizing me and she doesn't blame me for going back at him. With cooler heads, I wish I'd just ignored him and wonder if I did start the whole thing by referring to Excel formulas as code.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:07

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for referring to writing Excel formulas as code?

Lol an SQL "developer" being elitist about programming

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:13

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

A hill I am willing to die on is that there is fundamentally little difference between writing complex logical formulae in excel, and writing some IF statements in {insert language}. It's just coding in a different way.

Plus SQL is basically just fancy Excel anyway.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:14

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Excel is turing complete now, so SQL-bro can just cram it.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:22

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for sending for my son to wildress threapy program

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7gi57NJDds

Well, OP won't have to worry about her son looking at porn anymore, because he's not coming back from the camp from "Holes."

I got sent to one of those, it's nightmarish. If you didn't do enough "good" things throughout the day you weren't allowed use the fire to make dinner (in the middle of Utah winter) so for dinner you had to soak raw beans and rice in literal ice water and try to eat them that way.

Literal special forces selection had far more concern for candidates well-being than these programs do for actual children. That's not hyperbole, I mean that very literally having experienced both. Smaller kids also tended to get severe lifelong injuries since you're backpacking everywhere and you're just thrown into it, literally just dragged out of your bed and dropped off in the desert in Utah.

You also had to earn the right to speak without being punished.

massive spider posted:

AITA for leaving my wife when she was terminally ill?

Paragraph breaks added

Can't believe the woman on chemotherapy didn't fight the divorce with all the extra time and energy she had just laying around the hospital.

axolotl farmer posted:

Excel is turing complete now, so SQL-bro can just cram it.

I remember when that one guy posted about how he didn't want to take a job from pornhub and pornhub's offical account responded by telling him they would keep it a secret from his family he was an SQL developer.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:39

killerwhat: May 13, 2010

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for referring to writing Excel formulas as code?

Good on them for accurately telling him he�s a prick.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:45

sootikins: May 24, 2008; Did I ever. Remember it as if it were yesterday. Soon as I woke, I went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecatin' to the sunrise - downright glorious.

The beefier Excel formulas use DAX, which is absolutely a programming language, SQL dude is a turd.

AITA for trying to win back my wife

quote:

I am J(m34) and I have been married to my wife (f29) for 8 long years. I love her very much. We even have a 3 year old daughter. Everything was perfect but I accept that our life has become too much monotonous lately.

Few months ago my wife sat me down and told me that she's has realised something . She told me she feels like she is not attracted to men and was never attracted but convinced herself that she was. She also admitted that she had hooked up with a woman in her teens and keep thinking about that time.

She told me she wants divorce because she feels like she's being dishonest to me and herself if she keeps living this life. At that time I was too shocked and told her I need space and just don't know what to say. She moved out and rented an apartment nearby.

I've been missing her a lot. I get to meet my daughter bi weekly but it's not same. I recently got to know that she's dating a woman from her work Helen (fake name). I have met Helen before and never actually liked her but this made me hate her more. I am convinced she broke my marriage.

I decided I cannot let Helen win and started pursuing my wife again. I sent her flowers, sent her gifts and even asked her out on dinner. She came to the dinner but admitted she only came to tell me that my efforts are futile and everything just cannot go back to normal. It broke my heart but I don't give up easy.

I got to know that they both skipped office one day to take a trip together. I took care of our daughter that day. I called their office where they had lied about being sick and told them the truth. My wife got very angry and asked me what did I think I would accomplish aside from getting her fired. I told I will keep doing this stuff unless she just comes back to me and stop this bs about being gay.

My wife has filed a restraining order against me now and I am afraid she will take my daughter away from me as well. I thought fighting for family was important.

Am I seriously in the wrong here?

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:46

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Isn't excel code just visual basic or some variant of it? lol

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:48

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

In fact Excel dude with his experience of talking to people and report building should apply for a role as the BI Manager at that the company SQL guy works and force him out.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:50

sootikins: May 24, 2008; Did I ever. Remember it as if it were yesterday. Soon as I woke, I went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecatin' to the sunrise - downright glorious.

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Isn't excel code just visual basic or some variant of it? lol

Macros use vb. When you get into =DATEDIFF(Date1, Date2, Interval) stuff, that's DAX.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 13:51

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

sootikins posted:

Macros use vb. When you get into =DATEDIFF(Date1, Date2, Interval) stuff, that's DAX.

That's still like equally "real programming" than SQL lol.

poo poo I don't think I've even written raw SQL in months, I've used Django models to handle all that.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 14:07

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

sootikins posted:

The beefier Excel formulas use DAX, which is absolutely a programming language, SQL dude is a turd.

AITA for trying to win back my wife

Well, that took a turn.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 14:14

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

That guy's gonna kill someone.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 14:15

sootikins: May 24, 2008; Did I ever. Remember it as if it were yesterday. Soon as I woke, I went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecatin' to the sunrise - downright glorious.

Das Boo posted:

Well, that took a turn.

Ya, I went back to see how he was responding to the toasty dragging he had to have been getting and it's removed now

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

That's still like equally "real programming" than SQL lol.

Agreed, wholly. I like banging out SQL, it's relaxing lol

# ? Mar 4, 2022 14:18

Yolo Swaggins Esq: Jan 29, 2015; oOoOoh 👀 a dapper little mouse🎩 🐀🕺🏻🕺🏻 a dAppER MoUSe🧐🐀 🚶🏿‍♂️🚶🏿‍♂️it�s a 🎩DAPPER mouse 👀✔️🐀🥾🏃🏽‍♂️🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🏃🏽‍♂️🐀💥

Invisible Clergy posted:

Did someone say "boundaries?"

AITA for not wanting to call my daughter by her nickname

Lol in year 10 i started going by the nickname Fred, and my mother absolutely rolled with it and to this day corrects my father whenever they're both involved in a conversation and he calls me my real name even though I honestly don't carez and introduced me as Fred to any of her friends.
I once made a halfassed joke about going by bunny pronouns because I was making jokes about being the Easter bunny for my SIL and my mum called me by those pronouns the next time I saw her like a fuckin month later.
She once also thought I was a lesbian for a couple years bc my very touchy bff moved in with me, which i only found out years later when she expressed mild surprise at me having a boyfriend.
God I love my mum. She's great.

OPs mum sucks and I wish Spook a good time with her cool grandma who respects her enough to call her whatever the hell she wants. Spook is a fuckin cool thing to be called. Shame about spooks lovely parents

Yolo Swaggins Esq fucked around with this message at 14:28 on Mar 4, 2022

# ? Mar 4, 2022 14:21

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

OPs mum sucks and I wish Spook a good time with her cool grandma who respects her enough to call her whatever the hell she wants. Spook is a fuckin cool thing to be called. Shame about spooks lovely parents

Jeez weren't you paying attention? Grandma only let her move in to spite the OP; she couldn't possibly actually care about her granddaughter!

Good for Spook and good for grandma and OP should be stuffed and mounted as a case study.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 14:47

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Serephina posted:

If I end up dead this year, my neighbor across the street did it.

(For the record, reddit's revelatory advice was to record his actions and file a police report.)

Police are corruption, but Idunno why she assumes that a small-time drug dealer is BFFs with the cops.

Blue Moonlight posted:

r/relationships: You did not properly respond to the judgement bot.

There are clickbait sites whose entire business is based on cribbing posts from these subreddits. I imagine modding them is a coveted position, which is why they're run by the stiffest martinets imaginable (and maybe the same sleazeballs who monetize the posts).

DeeplyConcerned posted:

simple. take a two year old infant and subtract three years.

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for demanding my husband to go to therapy to fix his controlling nature?

As for the finances, when we got married, we agreed to have split finances, including a prenup. I earned more than him when we got engaged. Our earning power is about equal now, and he finished a big project and his boss gave him a big bonus. He decided to use it to finish paying off the mortgage on our house without consulting me. My girlfriends pointed out to me we could've used that money to go on a nice vacation this summer.

Wow.

Baron Zephyrus posted:

The WHAT thing? I know I was taught weird poo poo growing up white in rural towns, but what the gently caress?

How the hell are you supposed to shave your legs right if you don't wash them first? I have a ton of leg, I admit it's a pain to wash them, but I can't imagine not doing it. And 95% of my showers are like 5-10 minutes max.

It's a meme that got out of hand because Twitter is people's real lives now. The version I heard was "Bernie Bros don't wash their legs in the shower."

# ? Mar 4, 2022 14:54

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Invisible Clergy posted:

That guy's gonna kill someone.

I like the stories where for the first paragraph or so I�m like oh poor op and then a few sentences later I�m hoping his ex and Helen carry guns and own a giant guard dog.

I wonder if OP is a cop that�s the energy I�m getting from him

# ? Mar 4, 2022 14:59

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Halloween Jack posted:

It's a meme that got out of hand because Twitter is people's real lives now. The version I heard was "Bernie Bros don't wash their legs in the shower."

All I know is that I've had every shower I've had since then ruined by the actual, factual knowledge that white people don't wash their legs. I just get to my legs and am like, "There's melanin deficient people out there skipping this step." Then I curl my upper lip in disgust.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 15:16

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# ? May 30, 2024 07:45

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Batterypowered7 posted:

All I know is that I've had every shower I've had since then ruined by the actual, factual knowledge that white people don't wash their legs. I just get to my legs and am like, "There's melanin deficient people out there skipping this step." Then I curl my upper lip in disgust.

but how do you feel about the stick at the grocery checkout?

# ? Mar 4, 2022 15:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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