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CancerCakes
Jan 10, 2006

Zzulu posted:

Something that has made the portal race more fun for me is the fact that some rounds you can just go on attack mode instead of even bothering with a soul.

For example, Greasus had two souls and was leading the race so I took an army through a portal straight into his territory and started razing his poo poo. Next round he wasn't around with an army capable of taking a soul anymore :3:

You can take a portal and go straight to the enemy capitals if you want. It's pretty crazy if you bother with it

Yeah, I portalled Katarina down for a tour of the south eastern badlands straight after getting a soul, sacking everything on the way back to kislev.

Can someone post their end game Kislev stack?

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Staltran
Jan 3, 2013

Fallen Rib

Rabelais D posted:

I bought the game and I don't like it at the moment but that's ok because I know it's going to get a lot better. I'm happy to wait.

Legend's big explanation post is laughable and suggests he thinks he deserves to be a developer, talking about how he "made himself available" to CA in any capacity they wanted, but all he got was early access. What did he expect?

Turin has actually gone out of his way to create a multiplayer website to operate as a community hub for the game and is actively involved in organising community made maps for domination mode etc.

On that note, I wonder why the other races haven't been turned on for multiplayer yet, seeing as many of them are actually in the campaign already?

This post seems just as bizarre as Legend thinking CA cared about creator feedback—"deserves to be a developer"? And the seeming implication that Turin does "deserve" that? Even though there's no indication CA listened to him either...?

Banemaster
Mar 31, 2010
After starting (and stopping as) Ogres, Khorne, Kislev and Ogres again I finally started and finished Cathay campaign.

Playing as Cathay is exhausting with stuff like: Sending house keeping army outside the bastion to wreck those small raiding armies. Keeping mental count on Yang / Yin balance mechanic so that I don't accidentally over correct with buildings or technologies (UI should be more helpful here). Sluggish infantry and infantry being pushed through by pretty much everything makes playing them properly overly difficult.

But Cathay also managed to claw itself its own niche even thought it feels like Empire's cousin. Must be why soldiers shout that they fight for Emperor.

I think I will take longer break before I return to the game, as I started to dread rifts opening as it ment more busywork.

In short: The game is good, which makes the faults even more annoying.

Banemaster fucked around with this message at 14:09 on Mar 7, 2022

Ravenfood
Nov 4, 2011

CancerCakes posted:


Can someone post their end game Kislev stack?
I'm working on it now, but what I've got so far is 2 elemental bears, 2 bear riders, 2 heavy sleds, 2 groms, 8 glaive ice guard, 2 patriarchs, a tempest witch, and katarin.

What I'm trying to decide is whether it's worth getting another Tempest Maiden that buffs ice guard (my current gives them +10% ranged) and I could theoretically get one that gives them +8 MA or my entire army +7% ranged, or +WS. I also wonder about getting a 3rd patriarch. I chose the + healing and + stamina prayers and I would like to be able to get the +MA in there too. I'd probably dump a grom for either of those but I hadn't decided if I would. Maybe dump both sleds but they have been really handy so far.

I'd love to see a list of the possible dilemmas for training just to see what I could get.

E: I have no idea how but Katarin should get Ice Court dilemmas.

E2: not endgame but don't sleep on light sleds. They are almost identical to heavy sleds but with something like 40 less armor and 2 or 4 less MA for a lot cheaper. Definitely not a doomstack candidate but for a quick backup defense army, worth using imo.

Ravenfood fucked around with this message at 14:03 on Mar 7, 2022

Prop Wash
Jun 12, 2010



Staltran posted:

This post seems just as bizarre as Legend thinking CA cared about creator feedback—"deserves to be a developer"? And the seeming implication that Turin does "deserve" that? Even though there's no indication CA listened to him either...?

Nope, didn’t read it like that at all

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Ravenfood posted:

I'm working on it now, but what I've got so far is 2 elemental bears, 2 bear riders, 2 heavy sleds, 2 groms, 8 glaive ice guard, 2 patriarchs, a tempest witch, and katarin.

What I'm trying to decide is whether it's worth getting another Tempest Maiden that buffs ice guard (my current gives them +10% ranged) and I could theoretically get one that gives them +8 MA or my entire army +7% ranged, or +WS. I also wonder about getting a 3rd patriarch. I chose the + healing and + stamina prayers and I would like to be able to get the +MA in there too. I'd probably dump a grom for either of those but I hadn't decided if I would. Maybe dump both sleds but they have been really handy so far.

I'd love to see a list of the possible dilemmas for training just to see what I could get.

E: I have no idea how but Katarin should get Ice Court dilemmas.

E2: not endgame but don't sleep on light sleds. They are almost identical to heavy sleds but with something like 40 less armor and 2 or 4 less MA for a lot cheaper. Definitely not a doomstack candidate but for a quick backup defense army, worth using imo.

Elemental Bears are very awkward right now (they derp a LOT and can't use their breath in melee)

For Katarin her best stack is, honestly, 14 Glaive Ice Guard, Tempest Witch, Patriarch, 2 Little Groms, Katarin, 2nd Patriarch/Witch, maybe knock 2 of the Ice Guard for 2 Heavy Sleds. And honestly all that is pointless because you can just go 19 Glaive, Katarin and be fine.

I think 2 Tempest Witches buffing Ice Guard is very good (Getting them Better Bows x2, Ranged x2, -30% Little Grom Cost) and a single Patriarch.

For Boris, he just wants 2 Little Groms and Bear Riders with x Amount of Patriarchs. And for Kostaltyn, he doesn't really have a 'stack' he buffs, but on a Great Orthodoxy playthrough, all Patriarchs. They're functionally immortal.

Ravenfood
Nov 4, 2011

Onmi posted:


I think 2 Tempest Witches buffing Ice Guard is very good (Getting them Better Bows x2, Ranged x2, -30% Little Grom Cost) and a single Patriarch.

Nice, though I haven't seen that combination on a Maiden yet. Every time I've gotten the + ice guard pairing I haven't gotten the army wide buffs on the same person, at least not yet. I suppose I could savescum for it depending on when the dilemmas are decided. Presumably start of the turn?

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
Turin’s wreckt every fight on L/VH with a Kislev army that’s just lord, one of each hero, rest light sleds. And he’s a funhaver not a Legend cheeser.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Ravenfood posted:

Nice, though I haven't seen that combination on a Maiden yet. Every time I've gotten the + ice guard pairing I haven't gotten the army wide buffs on the same person, at least not yet. I suppose I could savescum for it depending on when the dilemmas are decided. Presumably start of the turn?

I have been training witches every fuckin' turn I can and saving the good ones.


Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Turin’s wreckt every fight on L/VH with a Kislev army that’s just lord, one of each hero, rest light sleds. And he’s a funhaver not a Legend cheeser.

Sleds are what War Wagons wanted to be. The main difference is heavy ones can crash into the enemy no problem and the light ones are more skirmishers. Also weird statement when Legend also used LS stacks and loved the hell out of them.

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

Agreeing that Katarin and x Ice Guard and a Grom is all you need, Boris and like 5 Patriarchs, an ice witch of both variety, 2 Groms, and the rest Bear Riders is all you need. Its a meme but Kostaltyn, 2 Ice Witches, and 17 Patriarchs is op as gently caress.

Rabelais D posted:

On that note, I wonder why the other races haven't been turned on for multiplayer yet, seeing as many of them are actually in the campaign already?
They havent been turned on yet because CA cut the WH3 development branch off of WH2 in 2019. So the assumption is that things like the Greenskin and Wood Elf updates arent necessarily fully in the code yet. For example I think I've seen River Troll Hags and Stone Trolls in greenskin armies, but I havent seen them Waaaagh. I cant say for sure but thats my guess.

jokes
Dec 20, 2012

Uh... Kupo?

Onmi posted:

And for Kostaltyn, he doesn't really have a 'stack' he buffs, but on a Great Orthodoxy playthrough, all Patriarchs. They're functionally immortal.

Turns out in order to defeat chaos they just need about 20 extremely gross, extremely dirty, extremely drunk Russian mystics.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
Also, advice, get some level 20 patriarchs with the -Attrition skills. Then when you have to go fight Nurgle/The Daemon Prince, load up like 4 of them into an army, and guess what Plague doesn't do poo poo when you're immune to attrition. Use single/small entities and use Patriarch spam to heal through the battles. Since Nurgle is so slow you can get Ice Guard/Streltsi (Ice Guard are preferred for Magic Damage vs Daemons) and use the heroes as the anvil for your hammer. Then, just heal up at the end of each fight.

You've now trivialized Nurgle's bullshit entirely.

Ulio
Feb 17, 2011


Guys is it me or Kislev being beginner campaign recommended seems wrong. You have threats on all sites, a public order mechanic with devotion/supporter that has very high risk. Their units are good and efficient but their map and situation seems quite tough.

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

Ulio posted:

Guys is it me or Kislev being beginner campaign recommended seems wrong. You have threats on all sites, a public order mechanic with devotion/supporter that has very high risk. Their units are good and efficient but their map and situation seems quite tough.
And their economy is weaker than any of the other non-Demon factions! Yes this has been a common refrain. Especially because your first ~20 turns are mirror matches (other than the starting Norscan battle and settlement). Its funny because they ended up making it so Kislev plays much like you would expect from the lore, but this makes them not very starter friendly :v:

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Ulio posted:

Guys is it me or Kislev being beginner campaign recommended seems wrong. You have threats on all sites, a public order mechanic with devotion/supporter that has very high risk. Their units are good and efficient but their map and situation seems quite tough.

Yeah it's a joker's trick "Here, try this one out." And then it stabs you in the ribs. I think Cathay is a WAY better starter (They have the most traditional army styling compared to Kislev's hyper-utility army) or Skarbrand for 'Ease (But he's a very specific army)

Dr Kool-AIDS
Mar 26, 2004

I think 3 in general isn't very starter friendly and unless someone really really wanted to play with daemons I'd point them at 2 first even aside from the launch issues we've discussed lately.

Ethiser
Dec 31, 2011

Demons having to deal with habitability is funny for me to think about. I’m an eldritch creature from a realm of constant change that lies outside of time, but gently caress you if you think I’ll spend any time in this hot sandy desert.

Ravenfood
Nov 4, 2011

Ulio posted:

Guys is it me or Kislev being beginner campaign recommended seems wrong. You have threats on all sites, a public order mechanic with devotion/supporter that has very high risk. Their units are good and efficient but their map and situation seems quite tough.
Definitely not you. Kislev has been a really fun "ohfuckohfuckohfuck" campaign trying to stabilize things, but Cathay seems like it would have been a much better starter campaign. A more traditional army, a better economy, a starting position that you can stabilize a lot faster and secure much more easily.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010




Ethiser posted:

Demons having to deal with habitability is funny for me to think about. I’m an eldritch creature from a realm of constant change that lies outside of time, but gently caress you if you think I’ll spend any time in this hot sandy desert.

Hot weather dries out the nurglings and you wouldn't want that would you?

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Ethiser posted:

Demons having to deal with habitability is funny for me to think about. I’m an eldritch creature from a realm of constant change that lies outside of time, but gently caress you if you think I’ll spend any time in this hot sandy desert.

Daemon's have standards.

Doomykins
Jun 28, 2008

Didn't you mean to ask about flowers?
3 has several starter friendly factions, they're just not Kislev. And there's always playing on Normal difficulty.

Ogres: Skrag gets a very cozy corner start. Greasus can go in any direction but has virtually no starting wars and can make easy allies. The Mountains are almost entirely his to casually conquer.

Khorne: A-Click to Win faction.

Nurgle: Despite Nurgle's difficulties they start just far away enough from the Ordertide to choose not to engage with it other than two Dwarf factions, one of which has difficulties approaching you if you're not on VH. Go northwest or northeast and build comfortably.

Slaanesh: Corner start, no mandatory at wars, can spend the entire game in the Chaos Wastes at your leisure.

Tzeentch: Close to the same as Slaanesh. Cathay isn't likely to advance beyond their walls.

Cathay: North is a very spirited start but a brain dead easy everything else if you just want to hold the walls.

Compare these to Imrik, Snikch, Arkhan, Morathi, Wulfric, Skarsnik, Belegar, Thorgrim, Lustria Thunderdome, etc. Also the starting quests that spoonfeed you money and resources smooth it out tremendously over Wh2.

Bloodly
Nov 3, 2008

Not as strong as you'd expect.

Onmi posted:

Daemon's have standards.

This is accurate, given they're pure magic and really want/need high magic to exist. But only Tzeentch can change the Winds in regions to help growth and living.

It...makes sense given 'Chaos Wastes' is a terrain type, but since you can't terraform fully, and corruption doesn't offset the various penalties for off-type, nor do demon buildings, they can't make places into their own places. Which is really weird given the example of Praag, which was held by Chaos for a time and is STILL hosed up much later-an example of passive terraforming/corruption sort of thing.

neonchameleon
Nov 14, 2012



Ulio posted:

Guys is it me or Kislev being beginner campaign recommended seems wrong. You have threats on all sites, a public order mechanic with devotion/supporter that has very high risk. Their units are good and efficient but their map and situation seems quite tough.

The expectation is that actual beginners will play on easy or normal. On easy or normal there isn't much anti-player bias which means that "threats on all sides" means "a buffet line of enemies to choose from" rather than "you gonna get dogpiled" the way it does on very hard or legendary. And the point about the public order mechanic is that on normal Kislev gets to sidestep the normal public order mechanic (+6 PO from faction + more from the race) but still have to do with the occasional rebellion - just not potential ones in every single province. And the devotion/supporter mechanic is just a slight spur so people don't sit around wondering what to do.

Meanwhile on VH or Legendary it becomes a tough king-of-the-hill campaign.

The Gunslinger
Jul 24, 2004

Do not forget the face of your father.
Fun Shoe
I didn't mind Vortex but I absolutely hate the Chaos realm mechanics in this, just makes things an absolute chore to play. I finished one campaign and never plan on finishing another unless they make serious changes to it.

The rough edges and lack of polish I can get over but I'm just not having any fun with campaigns in this one. I'm also pretty sick of settlement battles already, I get what they were going for with the new siege stuff but it just falls on its face for me. I want to fight field battles, sieges were already tedious and are still tedious, just more involved now.

Overall I think I'm pretty unhappy with the state of the game at launch now that I think about it.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

Onmi posted:

I have been training witches every fuckin' turn I can and saving the good ones.

Sleds are what War Wagons wanted to be. The main difference is heavy ones can crash into the enemy no problem and the light ones are more skirmishers. Also weird statement when Legend also used LS stacks and loved the hell out of them.

Oh I didn't watch his Kislev, just threw it in because they seemed a lot more fun than a full doomstack has right to be, for one army at least. I'd prolly go half heavy but the baby sleds just kiting hellmonsters around the map is :chefskiss:

Glad Legend actually managed to have fun, actually, he was clearly not at the end.

e: Turin says the first sound in "tsar" correctly, makes sense

Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Mar 7, 2022

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
Light war sleds are ridiculous. They are durable ranged armor piercing units who can survive in melee for prolonged periods of time and can basically become free of upkeep with the right heroes

Like, why even get other units?

Like yeah, a doomstack of war bear riders will probably be even more effective but that'd be expensive as gently caress comparatively

Zzulu fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Mar 7, 2022

Ammanas
Jul 17, 2005

Voltes V: "Laser swooooooooord!"

Rabelais D posted:

I bought the game and I don't like it at the moment but that's ok because I know it's going to get a lot better. I'm happy to wait.

Legend's big explanation post is laughable and suggests he thinks he deserves to be a developer, talking about how he "made himself available" to CA in any capacity they wanted, but all he got was early access. What did he expect?

i ahreet with you. i have no desire to play wh3 in its current state but didnt refund it as i appreciate the masterpiece CA made with wh2 and am comfortable supporting them. wh3 needs mods and a basic campaign. the vortex sucked, the chaos campaign sucks, right now wh3 sucks. i think it'll improve and mods will purify some of the dumb design choices.

and legend thinking he should be consulted in design choices is ego stroking nonsense. i have ridiculous number of hours in wh2 because its my favorite game, that does not entitle me to be a consultant

The Door Frame
Dec 5, 2011

I don't know man everytime I go to the gym here there are like two huge dudes with raging high and tights snorting Nitro-tech off of each other's rock hard abs.
I don't know what any of you are talking about. Every time I've used sleds, heavy or light, they get focus fired by enemy shooters and can hold out in melee about as well as dervishes because of it. I'm lucky that they have such high HP per model, because I can usually have an extremely low health sled unit with all of its members still intact

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo
A full sled stack with bear characters can kill most stuff before engaging. You just have to micro benny-hilling ai around the map so YMMV.

Kislev can run a lot of stack variety. Too bad about needing a doomstack for the realms :v:

Chaos needs its DLC the most and Cathay punishes you for varying stacks too much sadly.

Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Mar 7, 2022

rideANDxORdie
Jun 11, 2010
Yeah why didn't CA want the Australian guy who constantly calls them stupid, incompetent, braindead, useless, and worse giving them feedback? "Who put this tower here? It's loving useless. What were they thinking? Did they just poo poo out maps and not think about it? What a loving useless map, it's just a piece of poo poo." I like the guy but I don't watch his livestreams and his big effort post was just crazy naive - did he think he would be CA's "idea guy"?

I think he's burnt out to the extreme and needs to step away from 6+ hours of livestreaming the game every day. Every time I've ever tuned into a live stream he's either actively mocking his viewers or getting frustrated about answering the same questions over and over since I guess kids these days would rather ask in chat as opposed to google? He's actually really good at unit/magic/tech tier lists and has some helpful campaign guides but those are less than 1/4 of his content output. One-man doomstack vids are asinine and boring and even regular doomstack videos aren't that entertaining for me any more.

TW3 has issues for sure, but I already got my 60 hours worth out of it and am quite content to wait a while for the rest to fall into place. I think the game may have benefitted from another 3 months to do bugfixes and to get out of the Elden Ring release window. That being said, I have a lot of faith that the game will end up being phenomenal just like TWW2.

rideANDxORdie fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Mar 7, 2022

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
I don't get why replenishment is so poo poo for some of the demon factions. With Khorne I could heal everything back in 1 round but with Slaneesh it takes for loving ever to heal a damaged army god drat

Ristolaz
Sep 29, 2005

By completely blowing off my BS you have passed the first trial
Yeah with Tzeench you just straight up never want to settle a ruined settlement with your army because the units will straight up take 15 turns to recover.

However, unlike previous games, there's no minimum unit requirement so a solo lord can settle ruins and they don't take any "damage" for it.

dogstile
May 1, 2012

fucking clocks
how do they work?

rideANDxORdie posted:

Yeah why didn't CA want the Australian guy who constantly calls them stupid, incompetent, braindead, useless, and worse giving them feedback? "Who put this tower here? It's loving useless. What were they thinking? Did they just poo poo out maps and not think about it? What a loving useless map, it's just a piece of poo poo." I like the guy but I don't watch his livestreams and his big effort post was just crazy naïve - did he think he would be CA's "idea guy"?

Dev's worst nightmare. You know as soon as one of the dev's went "no, the average player is not you, shut up" he'd have thrown a fit on twitter.

On a happier note, does anyone know where the button for disabling agent notifications is? I've got a couple of agents sat around boosting income and waiting for portals to open, but i kinda get annoyed when I miss moving one the ones i'm actually using because all i'm seeing is notifications for the ones that are effectively "on hold".

Doomykins
Jun 28, 2008

Didn't you mean to ask about flowers?

quote:

Dev's worst nightmare. You know as soon as one of the dev's went "no, the average player is not you, shut up" he'd have thrown a fit on twitter.

I wonder how many super players are aware that games with a big player base have to design around other player group povs?

dogstile posted:

On a happier note, does anyone know where the button for disabling agent notifications is? I've got a couple of agents sat around boosting income and waiting for portals to open, but i kinda get annoyed when I miss moving one the ones i'm actually using because all i'm seeing is notifications for the ones that are effectively "on hold".

There's a button in the bottom right by the end turn sphere to disable All Hero Notifications. Then there's a checkmark spot in the central bottom panel when you have the Lord/Hero selected that should give you Notifications for that unit no matter what. I think if you take the time to set this up once per relevant(active) hero and Lord it'll give you what you want for the rest of the campaign

Or there's the patrician sociopath solution I use which is to disable All Hero Notifications and to select a lord/hero and cycle through them as fast as possible with the nameplate arrows every turn.

Ravenfood
Nov 4, 2011
Any idea why portals are closing randomly? Its near the end of a roar cycle (5 turns until they all go away) and every time I get Katarin within 1 turn movement of a portal they vanish. I needed her to stabilize my lands for a bit so I didn't immediately go in, now I think I basically completely missed out on a round of portals. Its not the worst thing I suppose, but it is a bit annoying.

Doomykins
Jun 28, 2008

Didn't you mean to ask about flowers?
Are enemy heroes from other factions doing it? Or neutral armies? Not counting the neutral demon ones that come from the rifts. I've seen the AI manage their portals occasionally in my neighbors though I haven't seen them do it on the same screen as I am, particularly as I'll be quickly dealing with it myself.

I'm not sure if the AI would do the trick of using heroes to close portals before LLs can enter them but the AI certainly never wants for having lots of heroes running around.

Blooming Brilliant
Jul 12, 2010

Ravenfood posted:

Any idea why portals are closing randomly? Its near the end of a roar cycle (5 turns until they all go away) and every time I get Katarin within 1 turn movement of a portal they vanish. I needed her to stabilize my lands for a bit so I didn't immediately go in, now I think I basically completely missed out on a round of portals. Its not the worst thing I suppose, but it is a bit annoying.

Been playing a Slaanesh campaign, with Marks of Slaanesh giving you sight over enemy armies.

Answer is when the portals starts spitting out daemon armies, AI armies change their priority to closing the portals. I saw the Welves on the map cross two regions to close a portal that wasn't affecting them at all.

Doopliss
Nov 3, 2012

neonchameleon posted:

The expectation is that actual beginners will play on easy or normal. On easy or normal there isn't much anti-player bias which means that "threats on all sides" means "a buffet line of enemies to choose from" rather than "you gonna get dogpiled" the way it does on very hard or legendary. And the point about the public order mechanic is that on normal Kislev gets to sidestep the normal public order mechanic (+6 PO from faction + more from the race) but still have to do with the occasional rebellion - just not potential ones in every single province. And the devotion/supporter mechanic is just a slight spur so people don't sit around wondering what to do.
I ran a Kislev normal campaign, and I was feeling overwhelmed on all sides for pretty much the whole campaign. The Norscans I started at war with sent 1.5 full stacks into my lands around turn 12, Nurgle and Skaven were constantly bullying my eastern flank, and once I confederated Kostaltyn I was greeted by Belakor, Skarbrand and eventually the ogres rampaging through west Kislev. I loved it, but I was in pretty much a constant state of overwhelm after I beat my first two Kislevite enemies. I found the starting wars (and the chaos factions refusing all peace) were a big change from TW1's strategy of hoovering up enemies one by one and befriending the rest.

Currently playing as N'kari, who doesn't have that problem even on hard, though I'll likely get bored once I'm done bullying Skarbrand.

DOCTOR ZIMBARDO
May 8, 2006
It’s totally laughable to criticize the game you’ve been streaming for 6 hours a day for 6 weeks, after full time streaming the last game in the series for like 5 years, on terms like that. Dude is just having a breakdown, it’s best to just let him flail around for a while and let him find himself or get a new job or whatever. Hope he feels better soon!

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Scandalous
Jul 16, 2009


On behalf of Royal Kislev Tourism Board and under watchful eye of Akshina Vocational Dissident Reeducation Programme I invite you visit glorious nation of Kislev. Our motto: Is Fine.



Visitors to Kislev encouraged through appropriate force to start tour in Kislev City, home of stunning Bokha Palace and secret Evelina Bebchuk Cloning Facility. Currently Bokha Palace largely unoccupied as Tzarina Katarin taken entire contingent Tzar Guard and Ice Guard on journey through glowing hell portal now conveniently located in walking distance of recently re-re-re-built city walls. Gossipy Patriarchs whisper treason, suggest leaving capital undefended during period of national crisis is sign of weak and foolish leader. Tzarina Katarin graciously offer Patriarchs opportunity to travel through glowing hell portal to realm of poo poo and snot themselves, spend four turns in bath when finished, see how like it. Few takers.



Kislev famed throughout Old World for snow but also boast miles of beautiful coastline. Here visitors from further north soak in rays on sunny beaches of Castle Alexandronov, recently rebuilt after terrible small-dick ex of Tzarina Katarin burn down in fit of pique. Castle Alexandronov and rest of Troll Country recently return to bosom of greater Kislev when greasy idiot Kostaltyn come sneaking back into Bokha Palace in middle of night, dump deeds to province on Tzarina's desk and start squatting in attic after losing popularity contest. Tzarina Katarin not asked if she want burning toxic oblast full of marauders and portals to turd dimension, did not have say in matter, scream at Kostaltyn but lank hair imbecile say 'no backsies' and run away. Now economy in shitter due to disbanded lords sitting on substitute bench triple-dipping salaries and useless churches everywhere despite Tzarina Katarin smashing big red button marked INVOKE DAZH on cooldown every twenty turn.



Prior to ignominious return to Ice Court with tail between legs Kostaltyn get smooch from crab lady and now have thing about shirtless dwarfs and putting things up nose, hands out pamphlets inviting to 'Sweat Night at Bear Cave'. No longer allowed unsupervised with Evelina Bebchuks.



While both Kislev people and Kislev food consistently ranked tolerable-to-good according to recent survey conducted by Akshina Bureau of Opinion Polling and Thumb Severing, recent incidents of sudden and severe depopulation mean Royal Kislev Tourism Board like to take opportunity remind visitors not confuse the two.



Here giant red screaming beast showing multiple large forces of chittering rat persons famed nightlife of Novchozy by smashing open walls with flaming axes and letting verminous hordes flood through, much to consternation of local Ataman whose defiant last words "You must be loving kidding me" now adorned newly rebuilt gate, sadly since destroyed by second wave with huge pestilent catapult devices who enslave residents and burn down again. Kislev is honoured to be melting pot for numerous cultures to meet and bond over shared interests like slaughter and pillage.



Even death no barrier to charms of Kislev! Here busloads of tourists from Sylvania receive customary Kislev welcome from stern woman on giant bear, having travelled long distance unimpeded over lands of their enemies just to visit bland featureless town of Igerov. Kislevites not vitalist, our nation welcome all with pockets full of gold to be looted from freshly re-interred corpses.



Many tourists flowing into Kislev lately from soft decadent Empire, desperate to see charms of superior nation and also flee burning, ogre-ridden husk of former country. Some holdouts remain, mostly sending untrained spearmen levies at each other in middle of toxic swamps and all dying immediately. Is different culture, not Kislevite place to judge.



Kislev formerly have embassy from elves of Laurelorn, enjoy cordial relations with weird tree kissing ponces. Suddenly start getting REALLY keen for Kislev to join military alliance and for Tzarina to "invest" thousands of gold in upgrading outpost in their big compensatory tree before go very, very quiet. Now when Tzarina pick up Elf Hotline nothing but heavy breathing and giggling on other end, so not much change really come think of it.



Similarly visitors from northerly dwarf kingdom Kraka Drak vanishingly rare. Previously Tzarina Katarin run cultural exchange program for try help dwarfs deal with insane Chaos corruption preventing dwarfs bumping uglies and growing settlements, but sadly now ended after Dwarf King Cromson keep sailing into sea on pleasure cruise and letting home get blown up by shambling green stinkmen with skull grenades.



Recently weird old man following Tzarina around with noisy book say Tzar Boris still alive inside giant crystal prison at Frozen Falls. Tzarina ask him to speak up, cannot hear over cataclysmic devastation occuring around clock at all times day and night, will get around to it when get five loving minutes and anyway, father stuck in ice chunk for years already, little longer not make difference.

In conclusion please visit land of Kislev, bring money and also gun if can use, thank you

Scandalous fucked around with this message at 21:00 on Mar 7, 2022

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