Ukraine: The Aristoblyats

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Ukraine: The Aristoblyats

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

CommieGIR posted:

Scratch another General

https://twitter.com/EnglishUkraine/status/1500956632787869705?s=20&t=k1Twi1pvQcNm8UScHmukFg

And scratch some Chechens

https://twitter.com/AricToler/status/1500969431496855564?s=20&t=aQ_wanMb8lrqSIUaOp47Sw

Trying to make the Chechens into the new Cossacks isn't going well for Putin.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:02

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 00:58

Marshal Prolapse: Jun 23, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Stultus Maximus posted:

Trying to make the Chechens into the new Cossacks isn't going well for Putin.

That said his plans to integrate into them into Ukraine is going well�well integrating them six feet under Ukraine.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:10

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Marshal Prolapse posted:

That said his plans to integrate into them into Ukraine is going well…well integrating them six feet under Ukraine.

Who doesn't need more sunflowers

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:12

Hieronymous Alloy: Jan 30, 2009; Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!; Morbid Hound

Stultus Maximus posted:

Trying to make the Chechens into the new Cossacks isn't going well for Putin.

Not when stacked against actual Cossacks anyway

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:27

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

CommieGIR posted:

Scratch another General

https://twitter.com/EnglishUkraine/status/1500956632787869705?s=20&t=k1Twi1pvQcNm8UScHmukFg

This seems like a very bad thing for the Russians:

https://twitter.com/christogrozev/status/1500970445889327118

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:28

Marshal Prolapse: Jun 23, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

Not when stacked against actual Cossacks anyway

The rabid antisemitism is probably similar though.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:29

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

From the same thread, I know I shouldn't be surprised by Russian incompetence, but this is breathtaking:

https://twitter.com/christogrozev/status/1500978613113524229

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:30

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Hahahhahahahhahhaha loving awesome how incompetent these fucks are.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:34

GD_American: Jul 21, 2004; LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY AS IT'S INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!

CommieGIR posted:

https://twitter.com/RALee85/status/1500857592435908618?s=20&t=LzE8yuX-pLp3rzgWHrOYXA

Man, Ukraine just keeps finding free stuff!

Nice to know those US cargo planes aren't heading west empty.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:35

maffew buildings: Apr 29, 2009; too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

This is astoundingly inept beyond wildest imagination

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:38

Marshal Prolapse: Jun 23, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

The man has a huge set of loving balls. This is the first time he�s been back in his office since invasion.

https://youtu.be/STN4_VmHPzA

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:44

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Get a case on that iPhone you maniac

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:49

Kesper North: Nov 3, 2011; EMERGENCY POWER TO PARTY

Marshal Prolapse posted:

The man has a huge set of loving balls. This is the first time he�s been back in his office since invasion.

https://youtu.be/STN4_VmHPzA

Nice touch with the camera cut when he sits down behind his desk.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:53

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

Marshal Prolapse posted:

The man has a huge set of loving balls. This is the first time he�s been back in his office since invasion.

https://youtu.be/STN4_VmHPzA

This guy continues to be beyond amazing.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 01:55

Handsome Ralph: Sep 3, 2004; Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!

CommieGIR posted:

Scratch another General

https://twitter.com/EnglishUkraine/status/1500956632787869705?s=20&t=k1Twi1pvQcNm8UScHmukFg

https://twitter.com/iAmTheWarax/status/1500967474858242051?t=5Ugm0H4K7SXQ0aYpQ7wp8w&s=19

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:14

Eason the Fifth: Apr 9, 2020

Handsome Ralph posted:

https://twitter.com/iAmTheWarax/status/1500967474858242051?t=5Ugm0H4K7SXQ0aYpQ7wp8w&s=19

Fantastic

Some things in Ukraine don't react well to bulletsh

Eason the Fifth fucked around with this message at 02:30 on Mar 8, 2022

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:27

SavageMessiah: Jan 28, 2009; Emotionally drained and spookified; Toilet Rascal

I imagine a lot of people in this thread are also reading the CW/Airpower thread, but if you aren't, please direct your attention here for supreme enjoyment:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3910801&pagenumber=588#post521966455

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:36

SavageMessiah: Jan 28, 2009; Emotionally drained and spookified; Toilet Rascal

Marshal Prolapse posted:

The man has a huge set of loving balls. This is the first time he�s been back in his office since invasion.

https://youtu.be/STN4_VmHPzA

I hope someone puts up a captioned version.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:40

IPCRESS: May 27, 2012

A Festivus Miracle posted:

Western banks are predicting that Russia will be unable to meet it's obligations as early as mid-April . At that point, if not in the next few weeks, I think the war will have to end. Since I posted about peace negotiations earlier, at that point Zelensky could probably ask for literally anything he wanted: Crimea, end of LPR/DPR, end of Russian support for Lukashenko, reparations in kind (because the Russian Ruble is going to be smoldering ruin if Russia defaults), a cake, a stripper, and probably Putin being pantsted on national TV.

No, what happens is Russia defaults on its debt (again) and probably says "we're never paying".

Once you're an involuntary autarky, a lot of the stuff that would sink any other economy just don't matter. If you aren't able to raise capital by selling bonds to foreign investors, it doesn't matter if you're junk rated or gold plated.

There's also the possibility that China steps in and buys a lot of Russian paper, possibly on the understanding they'd be paid back in coal and oil; CN is hurting for coal since they started refusing AU shipments of the stuff and keenly aware of the risks a naval blockade of energy poses to them. That's unlikely to bode well for Taiwan.

Final thought: I think their oil revenues are on the order of a billion USD /day and that's traded in USD. Assume state-run arsenals are geared for war and they're prepared to not fund , you'll buy a lot of dumb munitions for a $500m*/day.

*: The difference is "Administrative Overhead".

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:52

Lovely Joe Stalin: Jun 12, 2007; Our Lovely Wang

CommieGIR posted:

Scratch another General

https://twitter.com/EnglishUkraine/status/1500956632787869705?s=20&t=k1Twi1pvQcNm8UScHmukFg

Am I wrong or is that the guy who was on TV with Putin? Isn't that an insanely high level member of the military to lose?

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:53

Sentinel: Jan 1, 2009; High Tech
Low Life

maffew buildings posted:

This is astoundingly inept beyond wildest imagination

Its a thing of beauty. Another monument to the hubris of man.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:54

Marshal Prolapse: Jun 23, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Lovely Joe Stalin posted:

Am I wrong or is that the guy who was on TV with Putin? Isn't that an insanely high level member of the military to lose?

He may be a nephew of someone really high up.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:55

Lovely Joe Stalin: Jun 12, 2007; Our Lovely Wang

I was wrong, two different generals with very similar names it seems.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:58

nwin: Feb 25, 2002; make's u think

Marshal Prolapse posted:

The man has a huge set of loving balls. This is the first time he�s been back in his office since invasion.

https://youtu.be/STN4_VmHPzA

From reddit:

quote:

All speech is Ukrainian.

Here it is, evening Kyiv, our office.

It�s a Monday evening, and you know, we�re used to saying that Monday is a difficult day, but the country is at war, so every day is a Monday - every day and every evening. And today, it�s the twelfth.

The twelfth evening of our fight. Our defense. We�re all here, all working, everyone is where they need to be. I�m in Kyiv, my team is with me. Territorial defense is in place, the soldiers are at their positions, our heroes, doctors, rescuers, diplomats, journalists. Everyone.

All of us are fighting. All of us are contributing to our victory - which we will, without a doubt, have. With the strength of weapons, and with the strength of our army. With the strength of the word, and our diplomacy. With the strength of spirit that the former, and the latter, and each of us has.

Look at our country today. Chaplynka, Melitopol, Tokmak, Novotroitske, Kherson, Starobilsk. The people have defended themselves everywhere, even though there are no weapons there. But they�re our people, hence they have the weapon - they have their courage, dignity, and ability to go out and say, �I�m here, this is mine, and I won�t let you have my city, my people, my Ukraine.�

Every Ukrainian that yesterday, today, and tomorrow will protest against invaders is a hero. We shout at the invaders together with you, we stand at the squares and the streets together with you, we are together with you and not afraid when the invaders open fire and attempt to disperse everyone. You do not retreat, and we do not retreat.

And the one who kept saying �We�re a single nation� has surely not expected such a powerful reaction. At the South of our country, such a powerful national movement has unfurled, a powerful show of Ukrainianship which we�ve never seen before, which for Russia is a real life nightmare.

They forgot that we�re not afraid of AvtoZAKs [prisoner transport] and police batons, we�re not afraid of tanks, we�re not afraid of guns when the most important, the Truth, is on our side. Just like now - Mariupol and Kharkiv. Chernihiv and Sumy. Odessa and Kyiv. Mykolaiv, Zhytomyr, and Korosten. Ovruch, and many more cities.

We know that the hatred that the enemy has brought into our cities with bullets and bombs into our beautiful cities will not be allowed to stay. Not a single trace of it will be left. We�re not about hatred, that�s why there won�t be a single trace left of the enemy. We will rebuild everything. We will make our cities that the invader ruined better than any city of Russia. Energodar, Chernobyl and other beautiful places that the barbarians tried to capture and control for no apparent reason, without any understanding.

Your work, your conscientious work at the critical objects is the real heroic deed, and we see it. We are deeply grateful for it. The Ukrainian Army is holding their positions - great job - it�s dealing incredibly painful hits to the enemy, protecting, counterattacking. When needed - they even avenge. Absolutely, for every evil. For every rocket and a bomb, for every ruined civilian object.

Today in Makarov, Kiev oblast, they shot up a bakery. What for? An old bakery. Think about. Why the hell would you shoot a bakery? Who do you have to be, to do something like that? Or ruin yet another church in Zhytomyr oblast. The church of the Blessed Virgin Mary, built in 1862. This is inhumane.

We had an agreement about humanitarian corridors. Did it work? No, instead what worked was Russian tanks, Russian GRADs, Russian mines, they even mined the road that we agreed to use for products and medicine. For the people, for the children, in Mariupol. They even destroy the buses that are to be used in evacuation!

But they do it in such a way that a tiny corridor towards the occupied territory gets opened. For just a couple dozen people, not even towards Russia, but towards the propagandists - straight into their TV cameras. To say, �look, who�s saving them�. Just cynicism. Just propaganda. Nothing more. No humanitarian meaning.

Today the third round of negotiations took place in Belarus. I�d love to say �the third and final�, but we are realists, so we will keep talking, we will continue to insist on negotiations until we find a way to say to our people, �This is how we�ll come to peace.� Exactly �to peace.� We have to keep in mind that every day of our fight, every day of our resistance creates better conditions for us, a stronger position to guarantee our future - in peace. Again, in peace. After this war, except the fallen people and destroyed cities, also leaves in its wake destroyed passions, that used to seem so incredibly important, but nowadays are all but forgotten.

Almost 3 years ago, just after the elections, we entered this building, this office, and started to plan our move. I dreamt of moving away from Bankova st., together with the administration and parliament, to unload the city center and overall move to a modern, transparent office, as is fitting for a progressive, democratic, European country.

Now I will just say this. I�m staying here. I�m staying in Kyiv, on Bankova, without hiding. I�m not afraid of anyone, as long as is needed to win this patriotic war. Today I signed an order to celebrate with national awards 96 Ukrainian heroes, the people of our army.

[Names - translation by u/MeekoTheDog]

Of them, awarded with the Order of Bogdan Hmelnitskii of the 2nd class is major Sahun Oleksandr Oleksandrovich - commander of a mechanized tactical battalion that stepped into a battle with an enemy battalion tactical group and prevailed, while displaying exemplary leadership and tactics. Captain Sylivakin Rostislav Oleksandrovich - captain of a mechanized battalion who successfully fought against a superior force that was attacking villages and cities near Sumy. Awarded with the Order of Bogdan Hmelnistkii of the 3rd class is lieutenant Lozuvii Igor Sergeiivich, who successfully stopped an enemy column consisting of nearly 150 vehicles that was moving on a route from Zhytomir to Kyiv and was destroyed. Lieutenant Poturemits Vitalii Victorovich that was injured while showing wisdom and cold bloodedness in destroying a column of enemy vehicles near Kyiv. Awarded with the Order of Muznisti of the 3rd class is commander of automobile unit, master-sergeant Berelyuk Valentin Victorivich, for who�s brave and decisive deeds, a tank unit held its position and destroyed the enemy. All of our 96 heroes are like these 5.

Our gratitude to all of our soldiers. Our gratitude to the Armed Forces of Ukraine. Our gratitude is unmeasurable. Glory to Ukraine!

nwin fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Mar 8, 2022

# ? Mar 8, 2022 02:59

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

https://twitter.com/Hooters/status/1500583645702238211

# ? Mar 8, 2022 03:00

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

i wish whoever it was hadn't mentioned On The Beach because i stupidly decided to read it again and then had to cry for a while

# ? Mar 8, 2022 03:22

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

IPCRESS posted:

No, what happens is Russia defaults on its debt (again) and probably says "we're never paying".

Once you're an involuntary autarky, a lot of the stuff that would sink any other economy just don't matter. If you aren't able to raise capital by selling bonds to foreign investors, it doesn't matter if you're junk rated or gold plated.

There's also the possibility that China steps in and buys a lot of Russian paper, possibly on the understanding they'd be paid back in coal and oil; CN is hurting for coal since they started refusing AU shipments of the stuff and keenly aware of the risks a naval blockade of energy poses to them. That's unlikely to bode well for Taiwan.

Final thought: I think their oil revenues are on the order of a billion USD /day and that's traded in USD. Assume state-run arsenals are geared for war and they're prepared to not fund , you'll buy a lot of dumb munitions for a $500m*/day.

*: The difference is "Administrative Overhead".

So what happens once Russia can't finance its own Overhead except in ruble plus has to now make up all of its imports, including almost a 1/6th of its foodstuffs?

This war is already unpopular. To compare to another petro state that's reached involuntary autarky, Venezuela is a complete loving shambles with a regime propped up by China buying their lovely oil. They're not also trying to wage a war at the same time. Are Russian conscripts going to want to fight when their food consists of nothing with a side of almost worthless paper rubles? How about financing the fancy military machines that make this whole economic enterprise go? Just divert the rest of your actual Real income into buying munitions from China?

This is asking a huuuge sacrifice of a population that already finds this war unpopular. This isn't as bad as WW1 Germany, but it's pretty close to that flavor.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 03:59

Flesnolk: Apr 11, 2012

How does Russia keep losing generals? US generals are never anywhere near the front lines these days.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 04:58

BIG HEADLINE: Jun 13, 2006; "Stand back, Ottawan ruffian, or face my lumens!"

Flesnolk posted:

How does Russia keep losing generals? US generals are never anywhere near the front lines these days.

Gotta show The Boss you're the most dedicated! :commissar:

# ? Mar 8, 2022 04:59

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Flesnolk posted:

How does Russia keep losing generals? US generals are never anywhere near the front lines these days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z6MJIjCJ20

Wrong one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MedC8kTa9XY

Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Mar 8, 2022

# ? Mar 8, 2022 05:30

GD_American: Jul 21, 2004; LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY AS IT'S INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!

Flesnolk posted:

How does Russia keep losing generals? US generals are never anywhere near the front lines these days.

Abizaid kept tempting fate, but fate hosed us there.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:05

Flesnolk: Apr 11, 2012

I will also admit to not being entirely sure what modern generals do. Sit in an office in another country staring at maps and yelling at people?

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:06

Dick Ripple: May 19, 2021

My bet is they have to get somewhere near the front (everywhere is the front in Ukraine) to unclog the mess that they may or may not have been planning for.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:15

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Flesnolk posted:

How does Russia keep losing generals? US generals are never anywhere near the front lines these days.

The Vietnam War was when the US last lost several general officers. The majority of these flag officers were killed in aviation incidents including B-52s colliding mid-air, being shot down while flying combat missions in fighters, all manners of helicopter death (combat and otherwise), small arms fire, and illness.

MG Greene was killed in Afghanistan several years back. I believe he was the only flag officer killed in either Iraq or Afghanistan.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:15

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

https://twitter.com/Rus_Emb_Ireland/status/1500889880611770376

Lmao what�s the story behind this

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:25

victorious: Jul 2, 2007; As a youth I prayed, "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet."

https://twitter.com/donie/status/1500846491925106689?t=DR8_p5dAJ1-yOtsmNcOrvQ&s=19

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:29

Radical 90s Wizard: Aug 5, 2008; ~SS-18 burning bright,
Bathe me in your cleansing light~

The way the Chechens keep getting wiped is loving ridiculous and well, I don't wanna say "funny", but it's kinda funny...

e] Russian embassy is being dramatic, that was clearly just a Special Trucking Action

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:31

Dick Ripple: May 19, 2021

Someone has to be tracking these Chechens the moment they start massing up and leaving Chechnya. And by the amount of videos from them being posted I am going to bet their OPSEC is not the best.

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:37

cult_hero: Jul 10, 2001

Radical 90s Wizard posted:

The way the Chechens keep getting wiped is loving ridiculous and well, I don't wanna say "funny", but it's kinda funny...

e] Russian embassy is being dramatic, that was clearly just a Special Trucking Action

It was just a Very Special Humanitarian Aid Delivery. The Russian diplomats are rejoicing at having 5000 Kg of potatoes dumped in their courtyard.

(No photos available of potatoes)

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:39

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 00:58

Flesnolk: Apr 11, 2012

Where are people finding these videos? I've generally been sticking to twitter, a couple threads on here, and a couple subreddits like Credible Defence

# ? Mar 8, 2022 06:45

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