Mx. posted:

AITA for not telling my friend that her husband was playing Final Fantasy XIV again?

persona grenada

Silly Newbie posted:

Is there a response that communicates "everyone is stressed out here"? This just feels like a brutal response to capitalism - mom has to stay home because it's more economical than working, feels overtaxed doing all the cleaning and childcare (fair) while dad has to work more than is reasonable making enough money to keep the house and feels overtaxed (fair), and there just isn't enough time or money to go around.

Mx. posted:

persona grenada

Neito posted:

The point is not that they don't have a concept of time, or that they can't figure out how to do things on time.

The point is exerting control, and it's frustrating to see their surface story taken as fact.

Impermanent posted:

this is one of those psychisms I hear every so often but is there actually any real proof to this or is it just a just-so story so people can feel vindicated in punishing people who don't have their life together

Impermanent posted:

is it just a just-so story so people can feel vindicated in punishing people who don't have their life together

Runcible Cat posted:

If the wife had wanted to see the movie she'd've got her own ticket not sat outside sulking. She wanted to make him late for it and he didn't go along with that.

quote:

My roommate and I are in law school. She’s in school to be an environmental lawyer, I’m planning to do corporate transactional work. She’s holier than thou about this, even though in our personal lives I’m the one who spends time doing volunteer work, trying to live environmentally friendly, etc. while she drives a brand new SUV, buys and throws away tons of fast fashion items, etc. Whenever I do something like collect compost to take to the farmers market, she tells me that no amount of personal do-gooding can make up for being a corporate drone. I think she thinks she can talk me out of corporate law if she’s judgy enough, but I have loans to pay off and I come from a low income background, and I am determined to be able to support my family and never experience food or housing insecurity again.

I mostly let her comments and bad habits slide off my back. One thing she does that I can’t let go of, however, is leaving lights on. She has several lamps in her room and common spaces, and often times she will have all the lamps and overhead lights on in every room, even the bathroom, and leave them on when she leaves the house or goes to bed. She even turns (and leaves) on lights during the day, when we have tons of natural light. This does affect me because we pay our own electricity, which is quite high and has really exploded since the price of gas has gone up so much recently. I have tried talking to her about it, and she says she’ll do better and then just doesn’t.

When I was little, my parents cut out pictures of emaciated polar bears and stuck them near our light switches to remind us to turn off the lights. I am considering doing this, but I’ve talked it over with friends and about half think I should and the other half think it’s a terrible idea. I’m not worried about having a bad relationship with my roommate, because it’s already pretty bad and we only have two months to go on our lease, but I don’t want to be a total dick.

So, WIBTA if I posted photos of emaciated polar bears near our light switches to encourage my roommate to turn them off?

Invisible Clergy posted:

WIBTA for sticking pictures of emaciated polar bears near our light switches?

Bargearse posted:

OP is the rear end in a top hat for deluding themselves into thinking that individual action is effective against systemic problems.

quote:

Here is an exchange between me and my GF (a teacher).

GF: We’re in lockdown. Not a drill. No idea what’s happening

Me: That’s worrisome. Any update?

GF: Just rumors. The kids are saying someone found a gun

Me: All clear?

GF: Nope. We got an email saying there was police activity in the area and everyone is safe, but we’re still in lockdown. Someone in the trailers said the police are looking for something and checking trash cans. I wanna go home

Me: I’m gonna go to Target to get my prescription and get some stuff to clean my bathroom. Do you need anything?

GF: I would like a treat please. Maybe some golden Oreos

Me: Deal

(GF calls while I’m in Target without AirPods. I send her this message.)

Me: I’m in Target sans headphones. What’s up?

She doesn’t respond.

When I get home I give her a hug. We go on about our evening as usual. She watches Judge Judy reruns and we were having intermittent chat about the episode. This lasts about 2 hours.

Right before she gets up to take a bath she says:

“It hurt my feelings that you didn’t answer my call. It was like that episode of Curb where Cheryl is on the plane and Larry ignores her for the TiVo guy”

Me: “I didn’t know you were that concerned. I thought everything at school was cool because you said the police said everyone was safe.”

GF: “It would have nice to hear ‘Are you okay’”.

AITA?

Mx. posted:

yeah but paying less for electricity would be nice

sure it's only pennies but uhhh

quote:

My boyfriend (M32) and I (F23) recently celebrated our fifth anniversary. Our anniversaries are super important to him, so I try to put in a lot of effort to make them special. But, this year, money has been tight, so I've been putting in a lot of extra hours at work to make my half of the rent.

With the extra hours plus all of the housework, I've been super stressed. My bf also has been really overworked at his company since they've switched back to meeting in-person. Overall, it's been difficult for us to prioritize time together, but I still hoped to do something special for our anniversary.

My plan was to finish my retail shift (7AM-3PM) and then bake his favorite red velvet cake so we could celebrate together when he came home. However, just before I got off my shift, my coworker told me that she had an emergency and couldn't come in, so I ended up staying til 6:30 PM. I was getting anxious that I wasn't going to make it home in time to prepare our celebration. When I texted my bf, he said he was going to the bar after work anyways, so he would only be back home by 8PM. I decided that if I worked fast enough, it would still give me enough time to make the cake.

As soon as I got home, I got started on the cake. However, I left it in the oven a bit too long, so it ended up kind of burnt. I finished up around 8 PM-ish, but my bf hadn't come home yet, so I decided to use the time to get ready quickly.

My bf got home at 9 and asked me what I did for our anniversary. I told him I tried to make a cake, but it turned out kind of burnt. He refused to try it, and I felt so bad because this was our tradition and I had messed it up. I gave him the cologne after apologizing, and he was mad that I didn't wrap it, and said he didn't even like the scent.

I felt heartbroken seeing him so upset when we should have been celebrating together. I knew it had been a long day for him, but I just wished he could have had a nicer attitude so we could have enjoyed the anniversary regardless of my mistakes. After it all, I honestly just wanted to cry and forget it ever happened.

It's been over a week, but he keeps bringing up how I ruined our anniversary. Today, I finally lost my temper and screamed at him to please stop bringing it up. He was really pissed and said, "after everything I do for you, this is how you treat me?" He's been silent with me since. I know I shouldn't have yelled, but I want us to move on already. Does this make me an rear end in a top hat?

Serephina posted:

Conversely, a vacation in Cook Islands was super relaxing as everything was on 'Island time' and it showed. I'm also guilty of doing it myself when I go bush, but there's a time and a place.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not directly asking “Are you okay”

quote:

“It hurt my feelings that you didn’t answer my call. It was like that episode of Curb where Cheryl is on the plane and Larry ignores her for the TiVo guy”

Johnny Truant posted:

this dude sucks for sure, but

are you loving kidding me

Bargearse posted:

OP is the rear end in a top hat for deluding themselves into thinking that individual action is effective against systemic problems.

Mx. posted:

persona grenada

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for screaming at my bf to get over our anniversary disaster?

quote:

This is so insane. Last Thursday my (f37) husband (m39 "J") of 8 years suddenly came home with a baby and a diaper bag. J explained that his brother's wife left him and their baby and his brother couldn't take care of the baby so J brought the baby home. My brain was frozen in shock with a million questions. I had a total meltdown because J asked me to take time off from work and care for the baby till he could figure out what to do and not to tell anyone about the baby in the meantime.

I don't have any kids of my own but I've cared for my sister's kids so I know a bit about babies. I ended up giving him a bottle from the bag which was enough to get him to stop crying at the time. Our dog isn't used to babies so I took her out for a walk and also to stop at the drug store and buy some supplies for the baby.

Some background on J's family: They're extremely toxic people. My BIL's first marriage was a disaster that lasted 2 months. His parents quickly arrange married him to his second wife which lasted a year. By the third marriage I had cut off all contact with his family and haven't seen them in a few years, I think this is his 5th or 6th marriage that just apparently ended.

When I got home I saw the baby was left alone on the sofa and J was on his phone in bed. I was so angry I gave him an ultimatum to return the baby in the morning or I would call CPS. He didn't say anything. I kicked him out of bed and made space for the baby. Didn't get a minute of sleep all night, he didn't help with anything and slept on the sofa. Around 6:30am I passed out for a bit and woke up when I heard the front door slam, it made the baby start crying. J had snuck out and wasn't picking up my calls or answering texts all day Friday.

By the afternoon the baby wouldn't stop crying, he was looking like he was hyperventilating. I tried calling J's family but nobody picked up their phones. I don't have his brother's number. My neighbor came over to help after hearing the baby cry all day, she's a mom of 3 and even she was worried about the baby. We decided to call 911.

When the ambulance came they brought cops. I explained the situation and they took the baby to the hospital, I wasn't allowed to go with him, the police had me file a report about an abandoned baby. It was traumatizing, I couldn't stop crying, I don't think they believed my story and probably thought I was lying about everything.

J came home at night as if he hadn't gotten any of my messages, he had the audacity to ask what's for dinner. I yelled at him telling him about what happened and he screamed some unsavoury things and packed a bag and has been living at his mom's since. He said "babies cry all the time you're not supposed to call the cops over it". I seriously feel like the baby had cried so much all day he was losing his little voice and turned so red it was scary. I've been in shock since, it's so insane I can't even tell anyone about it. AITA for abandoning the baby like that?

Murderion posted:

Have a doozy, this one's already been removed by the mods for uhh... "bodily/reproductive autonomy"

AITA for abandoning a baby my husband suddenly brought home?

Mx. posted:

My (24f) boyfriend (35m) got irrationally angry because I progressed in a video game without him.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for screaming at my bf to get over our anniversary disaster?

teen witch posted:

your own
persona
granada

reach out,

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Brandfarlig posted:

Olive Branch posted:

Persona granada!
What a wonderful phrase
Persona granada!
Ain't no Ancients maze
It means no gaming
For the rest of your days
It's his ERP philandery
Persona granada!

Mafic Rhyolite posted:

It's true that her actions make literally no difference but it is a very funny thing to do to someone who specifically shits on you for not becoming an environmental lawyer.

Biplane posted:

That is your husbands affair baby and his addled mind was hoping you would want to keep him lol. Lmao

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not directly asking “Are you okay”

quote:

I was dumped a month ago by my long-time girlfriend, who I share an apartment with. I’ve been living at my parents most of the time, but she was out of town last weekend so I stayed at our apartment. I brought a girl back over the weekend, and my ex found one of her earrings, and texted me how disrespectful is was to bring a girl back. I thought it was okay because she made the decision to end things and it’s been a month, but I still feel guilty. AITA?

Murderion posted:

Have a doozy, this one's already been removed by the mods for uhh... "bodily/reproductive autonomy"

AITA for abandoning a baby my husband suddenly brought home?

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for screaming at my bf to get over our anniversary disaster?