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Solenna
Jun 5, 2003

I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for pointing out to my co worker that she was wearing men's sunglasses?

The fact that her reply is anything other than "so what?" baffles me almost as much as anyone giving a single poo poo about it. Like, who loving cares what brand of glasses someone else is wearing? Why would the rest of her co-workers laugh? I don't get it.

I have men's sunglasses, they fit my face better than the ladies version did. The end, nobody cares.

Ugh a horrible snipe. Have a link: https://www.askamanager.org/2022/03/my-boss-is-angry-that-i-couldnt-work-while-i-was-sick-with-covid.html

The (justifiably furious) response featured a banned Reddit word even!

quote:

it’s 100% on your boss for being a terrible person and spoiled manchild.

Solenna fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Mar 23, 2022

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Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Pope Corky the IX posted:

a smoldering black thing that I later found out was the goddamn CD player

Lol

I can at least *sort of* vaguely see someone leaving some cooking-related plastic thing in the oven (it's still obviously stupid though), but I honestly can't comprehend something like a cd player

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
It was in the way.

Combo
Aug 19, 2003



Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for siding with my mother when she and my wife got in an argument?

Ah, the rare double switcheroo question title, where you don't reveal extenuating circumstances that surprisingly made you not an rear end in a top hat

His reply in the comments shows how stuck in the 1950s he is.

quote:

When she was pregnant she was physically unable to go out while I could. That's the first difference. After she gave birth she's the one who has to breastfeed every 1-2 hours and knows how to change the baby better than I do or put her to sleep.

Hmm yes she can change the baby better so I better not make any effort to learn

quantumwell
Jun 22, 2013

Combo posted:

His reply in the comments shows how stuck in the 1950s he is.

Hmm yes she can change the baby better so I better not make any effort to learn

Sounds like she is a single Mom and hasn't realized it yet

Combo
Aug 19, 2003



quantumwell posted:

Sounds like she is a single Mom and hasn't realized it yet

She had a second child and didn't even know it (though lets be honest, she probably did, I'm sure this isn't the first time his lovely behavior is shining through)

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Combo posted:

She had a second child and didn't even know it (though lets be honest, she probably did, I'm sure this isn't the first time his lovely behavior is shining through)

Fortunately he has a loving mother he can be rehomed to

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

I like how she even brought up that he goes out just as much as she does and both him and his mom said "He's a man so that's ok! You're a mother so you don't get a social life anymore! God, how do you not know that?!"

TengenNewsEditor
Apr 3, 2004

Solenna posted:

The fact that her reply is anything other than "so what?" baffles me almost as much as anyone giving a single poo poo about it. Like, who loving cares what brand of glasses someone else is wearing? Why would the rest of her co-workers laugh? I don't get it.

"So what?" was her reply, verbatim. She only got up after he doubled-down like a complete rear end in a top hat. His co-workers were laughing "lol you're such a dick" (even if they are on his side)

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Today on Acid Vats for everyone!

AITA for Punishing my Son Harshly for a Prank on a Vulnerable Person?

quote:

I (F48) have a son Jack (M19) and a daughter Alyssa (F18) and am married to Tom (M50). Tom is Alyssa's father, but Jack's father is my Ex husband Dan (M 48). Dan and I had a pretty ugly custody fight and he lives in NY while we live in TX. Over the years Dan has unsuccessfully tried to get Jack to move in with him. It wasn't easy to fight him off since he is a very successful lawyer.

Jack is a pretty popular kid in school. His friends on the wrestling team came up with a prank for him to ask a heavily autistic girl who had a crush on him to the prom as a joke and for him to show up wearing a gorilla suit. Jack originally said no, but the wrestling team actually raised a fund which got to be somewhat north of $800 for him to do it and they paid for the gorilla suit. Jack agreed. If it matters, this is very out of character for him.

After the prom, I was looking around on instagram and saw pictures of him in the gorilla suit and was surprised that he didn't take his girlfriend Jess. After reading the comments, I learned what happened. To say I was furious doesn't even do it justice. I woke Jack up as soon as I saw it and screamed at him until my lungs gave out. Then when Tom heard what was going on, he joined in.

Tom and Jack have never gotten along. I can't prove it, but I suspect Jack's father Dan has a hand in that. Jack told Tom "gently caress off, I'm talking to my mother." So, we took away all of Jack's electronics, his phone, and we had paid for a car for his graduation present. Because of his prank and disrespect to Tom, we instead gave it to Alyssa. We also forced him to give us the $800+ and we gave it to his date and made him write a letter of apology. He was also grounded for a month and we cancelled his 18th birthday party which was two weeks later.

When Jack's birthday came, there was a knock at the door. It was Dan and he had suit cases. Tom said "What is this? The custody agreement says you don't get him on this birthday?" Dan just looked past Tom and said "Hey kid, I'm here for the jail break." He then pointed at a Mustang and said "Hope you like Fords. You can practice driving your new car on a road trip back to NY. Let's take a detour to NoLa." The two of them were laughing, high fiving and backslapping and they just ignored us as we tried to intervene. The only time Dan acknowledged me was to look me in the eye and say as cold as ice "Checkmate." and for Jack to yell as they were driving off "gently caress off, Tom!"

Since then, Jack has gone totally no contact with me. He talks a little bit to Alyssa and from the little he does tell her, he's doing well and Dan is giving him the royal treatment, bringing him to steak houses, Yankees games, and just giving him outright cash. It has been almost a year and I'm going crazy thinking I've lost my son. So AITA?

Edit: I see there is a little confusion here about whether Alyssa is my bio daughter or step daughter. She is my step daughter. We really have a mother daughter relationship to the point where it doesn't even occur to me to call her my step. At the risk of understatement, Jack never warmed to Tom the same way.

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
AITA for not returning my engagement ring after my fiancee past away?

quote:

First time posting, sorry if I made any mistakes.

I (31F) recently lost my fiancee (37M) Jake. We've been together for 6 years. His death was unexpected and I'm still mourning.

At the funeral (which I arranged and paid for) his brother (32M) Jim asked me when I'm going to return the engagement ring to the family.

For context, the engagement ring with which Jake proposed is an ancient family heirloom. It's a gorgeous ring but what makes it priceless is the story behind it. Jake got the ring from his grandma a month after we started dating, he claimed he knew back then he would marry me some day and wanted to get his grandma's blessings on the ring. When he proposed his grandma already passed away so having the blessings put on the ring made it extra special for the both of us.

I asked Jim if he's serious to which he said yes, apparently his long term girlfriend Stacy saw the ring a while ago and fell in love with it and the story behind it so she kept nagging him to get her something similar, which he couldn't. He figured since I can no longer marry Jake he can propose to Stacy with it. I told him that he is rude, that the ring was blessed especially for Jake and I in mind, and even if that wasn't the case bringing it up during Jakes funeral is incredibly disrespectful.

After the funeral I got a massage from Stacy saying it would mean the world for her to be the new owner of the ring and I could always think of her and Jims wedding as the bittersweet ending to my relationship. She said the ring was blessed so one of the grandsons can marry the love of his life, and since Jim is the only living grandson left he has a claim to it. I blocked her.

My ex MIL also reached out to me and said that although she understands my pain I can't keep the ring since its a family heirloom, so I should suck it up and give it to Jim. I snapped and told her no, the ring is staying with me and following me to the grave if need be. It's a beautiful symbol of Jakes love and I won't let Jim and Stacy sully that memory of him.

The ring is legally mine so all they can do is cry about it and be bitter. They keep harassing me on social media saying I'm a bad person and that I stole the family heirloom to spite Jim and Stacy out of jealousy but I ignore them.

Today I met up with my brother and he said that although Jims approach was highly inappropriate, I'm being selfish for keeping the ring as a keep sake. I could always wear different jewelry that Jake bought me in his memory but they could never replace an heirloom that's been in their family for generations.

I'm now back home and I can't stop thinking about it, up until this point I was sure I did everything right but maybe I'm just being blinded by my grief.

A friend suggested I ask for an objective opinion and recommend this place, so AITA?

UPDATE: I'm writing this to answer some commonly asked questions and because I think I've made up my mind on what to do with the ring.

I met Jakes grandma, she passed away a year before our engagement and by that time I was already introduced to the family.

We were supposed to get married on 31/10/2022, we met during a Halloween party so we thought it was fitting. My brother helped me cancel the wedding venue and catering since I didn't have the heart to do it.

We don't have children, due to personal reasons we never planned on having any biological kids. However we did plan on adopting/fostering after our marriage was finalized.

Stacy did mention a couple of times how gorgeous my engagement ring is and asked if she could try it on, I refused. Back then I thought she was just trying to hint to Jim he should propose already, didn't think she was actually interested in the ring itself.

The ring is legally mine, in Jakes will I'm written as the beneficiary, the will was written 2 years ago and hasn't been changed since.

Jake passed away in a work related accident, I claimed the life insurance plus sued the company he worked at since I believe his death was due to their negligence and could've been avoided. I'm currently in a legal battle with the company.

I paid for the funeral because I wanted to make sure everything was organized the way Jake would have wanted it. As horrible as it sounds, I was financially well off before Jakes death and now due to his will, life insurance and company compensation I'm practically rich. So I had the funds to organize him a really nice funeral.

When I told ex MIL I'll take the ring to my grave I meant it. When Jake passed I considered joining him a couple of times before finally starting going to therapy. I don't think I'll ever date or get engaged again, it's too painful.

As for my decision, I would rather wait for hell to freeze over then let Stacy and Jim get the ring.

For now the ring is staying with me.

However I am considering the following option:

Jake has one cousin (10F) that lives far away, I used to babysit her while her parents still lived in town. I think I'll gift her the ring after she graduates HS and pay for her college tuition using the life insurance money I got, I hope that way I can do right by both Jake and his grandma. They say time heals, hopefully 8 years will be enough for me to let go of the ring, if not, I guess we'll see then.

I'm not telling anyone in his family what I have planned, let them think they've lost the ring forever. I think it's a punishment fit for their actions.

Btw: I lost the comment that said this but someone compared Stacy to Gollum, I don't know who it was but this genuinely made me laugh for the first time in a while, thank you.
The loving stones on these people. Glad OP possesses a spine.

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for Punishing my Son Harshly for a Prank on a Vulnerable Person?


The only time Dan acknowledged me was to look me in the eye and say as cold as ice "Checkmate."

he's doing well and Dan is giving him the royal treatment, bringing him to steak houses, Yankees games, and just giving him outright cash. It has been almost a year

I wonder how long this will last before the thrill of finally getting one over on his bitch of an ex-wife fades and he dumps the kid.

Of course its entirely possible Dan is raising a monster of a child that thinks that prank is a good thing and is insulated from consequences as they grow closer as father and son like he always wanted.

Either way the kid is 18 and there really isn't much the mom can do.

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000


Ultra Carp

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for literally going on a rampage?

What does OP think "rampage" means?

At least they recovered from the time they ate half the party sub

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000


Ultra Carp

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I've told this story before, but my ex-wife had a habit of putting things in the oven when they were in her way in the kitchen. Now I know some people store things like baking sheets and muffin tins in the oven because they take up space and they're metal anyway. Not the case with her. Literally anything in the way was going into the oven. One day I set it to preheat at 375 for dinner and went downstairs to change the laundry from the washer to the dryer. By the time I came back up the apartment was filled with smoke, the alarm was blaring, and she was out on the balcony pouring water on a smoldering black thing that I later found out was the goddamn CD player.

lmfao

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000


Ultra Carp

Hughlander posted:


AITA for Punishing my Son Harshly for a Prank on a Vulnerable Person?

If it matters, this is very out of character for him.


Yanno, I think it actually is his character

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for not returning my engagement ring after my fiancee past away?

The loving stones on these people. Glad OP possesses a spine.

She's apparently family enough to pay for the funeral expenses by herself but not family enough to keep an heirloom. The top comment is to present them with a bill for funeral expenses to get the ring back.

Serephina
Nov 8, 2005

恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

Invisible Clergy posted:

I love that he insisted on coming to her ex-boyfriend's funeral. I wonder what he did while he was there. Gloat? Make sure he was actually dead? Check the area for ghosts who were waiting to reincarnate as OP's firstborn son?

Funerals are for the living, not the dead. So you can end up with a lot of people attending who didn't really know the deceased, since they're there to support the bereaved. But when said grieving person doesn't want/need you there, then you really have no place.

Except that guy, his place is standing right behind that woman, tormenting her.

Combo
Aug 19, 2003



Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for not returning my engagement ring after my fiancee past away?

The loving stones on these people. Glad OP possesses a spine.

What sucks is I can completely see it from his family's point of view, they just approached it in the worst way possible, especially if his brother is asking at the loving funeral.

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos
It's been a while since I posted any estranged parents stuff. This one reminded me of a psychiatrist who specializes in hoarding describing how hoarders would tell a story- very rambling, disorganized, and throwing in random details.

quote:

My story. I have five adult children who told me, at the time of the divorce which was final in 2007, that if I didn’t do as they said that “I would lose my family”. This was in a pastors office. I was told “don’t ever tell me your sorry” and “I don’t believe a word you say”. These children told me they did not approve of the way I managed the family business that I owned operated snd built up through hard work in 37 years.

They love their mom. She has lied to me. Stolen from me. She is a gambler. She is an alcoholic and smokes constantly.

Mom was stay at home mom. She had 5,000.00 to give each of them for Christmas. She also said to the children she had to sell her jewelry (and my Rolex watch and my Diamond ring) for food to eat. I paid all bills. No one lacked for anything. I worked very hard.

The final straw the youngest daughter, a counselor, after taking cash I put in her account, and I bought her a car, she stole her wedding dress, and was married in her stolen wedding dress. She has written a book and is a counselor in Colorado. She was rude, and surprising always that way to me who loved supported and worked hard for her, but someone else would congratulate her and she’d have this mask on of being really sweet. Her older sister had the same feeling of entitlement. The two girls are family counselors and influenced the three boys. I am all bad. Moms all good. Mom makes meals. Mom gives us money. Mom had money because I paid sll the bills and she got the cash. Never enough. I would work a second menial labor job until 3 am in the morning. Until I couldn’t do it any more.

“I act like I was the victim”, said one girl.

They all lied for their mother. They witnessed their mother go after me, with a knife, and my mother with a broken wine glass. Violent. Their mother would go in rages breaking things around her. Which I would replace, silently hoping things would get better, enabling through covering up. Her mother, brother both committed suicide. Her father was an alcoholic. She pointed fingers accusing many of abusing her.

She would physically attack me. I was told to leave.

I called police after she attacked me at work. Yes. The police arrested me. She had thrust to my head, knocked off my glasses and gave me a concussion, she had taken money from me. The police called back on the landline, I had called on the portable phone and got disconnected. The police came and arrested me. I called 911. She interfered with my 911 call in Oregon.

I am free from all the lies manipulation control and should have left earlier.

The lies overwhelmed me. I did not have good lawyers. I suffered small strokes and a heart attack. My blood pressure was stroke stage from the beginning. It just got worse.

The state made it worse. The lies. I pled guilty on the advice of my dip attorney, who had diabetes and the county plea mill is big business.

I pray for God to heal the gap between the love I have them, and the love they needed. I loved them with my whole heart. They crushed me. I love them, but realize it’s too big for me. I cannot and will not bad mouth, but pray the truth will become transparent to them. Their mother is non stop bad mouthing me and others. The constant drip, she believes her own lies. She’d steal and lie to give to her kids.
I am so confused.

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
Holy poo poo that just awakened a memory, does anyone else remember a story where the OP IIRC came out as having a girlfriend, and her father screamed "MY DIABETES!!!" and fell on the ground, prompting the family to villainize her for giving her father a... Diabetes attack I guess

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.
If you're a big successful rich guy and the lawyer you pay by the hour says "take the deal" then you were turboguilty.

A Moose
Oct 22, 2009



trickybiscuits posted:

It's been a while since I posted any estranged parents stuff. This one reminded me of a psychiatrist who specializes in hoarding describing how hoarders would tell a story- very rambling, disorganized, and throwing in random details.

I am so confused.

It sounds like he just edited out any detail that would make him look bad and that is what's left

TengenNewsEditor
Apr 3, 2004

Danaru posted:

Holy poo poo that just awakened a memory, does anyone else remember a story where the OP IIRC came out as having a girlfriend, and her father screamed "MY DIABETES!!!" and fell on the ground, prompting the family to villainize her for giving her father a... Diabetes attack I guess

i remember :lol:

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Danaru posted:

Holy poo poo that just awakened a memory, does anyone else remember a story where the OP IIRC came out as having a girlfriend, and her father screamed "MY DIABETES!!!" and fell on the ground, prompting the family to villainize her for giving her father a... Diabetes attack I guess

AITA For announcing to both families that we eloped?

quote:

Me M31 and my wife F26 have big families. Both families were excited to share our special day and they came up with suggestions during wedding planning phase which was a complete nightmare.

Both familes sent long lists of guests, when I told them they needed to cut down the list cause we couldn't afford many people. Both families refused and tried to exclude each others. The wedding date got rescheduled several times cause both families couldn't agree on a specific date. This went on for 6 months!

My sister wanted to be one of my wife's pridsmaids but my wife already arranged for that. My brother in law wanted to be my best man but I already had my friend as best man. They argued about everything from the music to the menu, I had a family member write My own speech for me saying he was helping. And Mom wanted my wife to buy the wedding dress SHE liked. This caused both families to argue I was getting fed up but they said They just wanted to share our special day with us.

Me and my wife come from different towns. My parents insisted to have the wedding in our hometown. While my in-laws demanded to have it in their town. Every night they'd call with ultimatums making this their hill to die on.

My wife and I decided one morning to just....elope and we made proper arrangement for this to happen without our families knowing. Our parents kept calling to ask about the wedding. We decided to get both families together to make an announcement. Soon as we saw them they started talking about the wedding and insisting we do what they want. My wife and I stood in the middle of the living room took a deep breath. I counted to 3 then we said it together "we eloped!"

The room went quiet. My dad yelled "my diabetes!" as in he was in shock. My sister immediately took a seat. My mother in law blew up and started yelling asking how we could do this to them and act so selfishly towards the people who wanted to share our joy. Now we took that away from them and asked what their guests were going to think after what we pulled. I argued that We tried to accommodate as much as we could but it's impossible to make everyone happy. Besides they were being unreasonable and too involved in a manner that concerned me and my wife. Mom told me to stop calling her my wife she's not my wife since to them "we didn't get married" yet And demanded we start planning the wedding and send out invitations to celebrate in both towns that way both families are happy. I called them unreasonable. And said it won't happen. I just walked out with my wife and they kept calling and texting (no social media though) to get us to do it. Still insisting we're not yet married and will never be til we have not one but TWO official weddings.

(Just wanna say this happened before in every wedding in both families. For ages the definition of the word "wedding" is "shitshow" at least in my family's dictionary.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

trickybiscuits posted:

It's been a while since I posted any estranged parents stuff. This one reminded me of a psychiatrist who specializes in hoarding describing how hoarders would tell a story- very rambling, disorganized, and throwing in random details.

I am so confused.

quote:

My blood pressure was stroke stage from the beginning. It just got worse.

i think he means it just got worse, like right before he started typing

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??

Hughlander posted:

AITA For announcing to both families that we eloped?


It's even better than I remember :allears:

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Was that a thread title for a while? I feel like it was.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Hughlander posted:

AITA For announcing to both families that we eloped?

My mother in law blew up and started yelling asking how we could do this to them and act so selfishly towards the people who wanted to share our joy.
Share?

Solenna
Jun 5, 2003

I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

TengenNewsEditor posted:

"So what?" was her reply, verbatim. She only got up after he doubled-down like a complete rear end in a top hat. His co-workers were laughing "lol you're such a dick" (even if they are on his side)
Apparently I was so offended I stopped being able to read. Glad she had the right idea, cannot get over her co-workers caring about sunglasses genders

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


Neito posted:

Was that a thread title for a while? I feel like it was.

I think it was a title. We've had some great ones . Though I think nothing will ever top "piss tub divorce machine"

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018


Did you marry that poster that keeps almost burning their house by destroying their cookware biannually?

Danaru posted:

Holy poo poo that just awakened a memory, does anyone else remember a story where the OP IIRC came out as having a girlfriend, and her father screamed "MY DIABETES!!!" and fell on the ground, prompting the family to villainize her for giving her father a... Diabetes attack I guess

Holy poo poo lmao

PancakeTransmission
May 27, 2007

You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...


Plaster Town Cop

Hughlander posted:

Today on Acid Vats for everyone!

AITA for Punishing my Son Harshly for a Prank on a Vulnerable Person?

son Jack (M19)
...
custody agreement
Since when do custody agreements apply to adults lol

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

Hughlander posted:

AITA For announcing to both families that we eloped?


My dad yelled "my diabetes!"

I can't stop laughing.

New Coke
Nov 28, 2009

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

PancakeTransmission posted:

Since when do custody agreements apply to adults lol

I think this happened on his 18th birthday, over a year ago, and he's 19 now. Just going by the fact he was in high school at the time.

Edit: Okay, she explicitly says it was his 18th. So the custody arrangement would have applied up until that point.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Soylent Pudding posted:

I think it was a title. We've had some great ones . Though I think nothing will ever top "piss tub divorce machine"

that was a banger. I've got a list of the ones for the past 2 years

pentyne posted:


I walked in my room and caught him smelling my sneaker

aquaman living in my house and I want him to be reasonable

Deserves it for saying "strap" instead of like replacement penis

You never pleasured me, what are lesbians going to be impressed by?

my husband most likely has a dick up his rear end right now

How is babby mourned?

Whoa, Cat Betty, bit-a-man

Oompa-Loompa body rear end bitch

She said "I will never jeopardize the beans"

Ok I think you're right. I am technically physically white.

my BF keeps going back and ordering eggs and getting into fistfights

Make $300 a Day Writing Porn, Girlfriends Hate It!

Note: I have one leg

It's hard to leave him though. He gave me herpes

I ate pussy once, can I get all my student loan payments reimbursed?

Have garden, will travel

Make Sure You Are Thinking Of The Toilet Chicken With Rationality

There’s some shoes in this house

For all the non gamers and women here

Her giant soulful anime eyes looking right back at MIL

Piss Tub Divorce Machine

Everything is broken, just like my PS4

my lawyer suggested I just stop playing Final Fantasy. Thats not gonna happen.

there is nothing you can do or say that would ever get us to move to Ohio

My boyfriend unintentionally complimented other women's butts

semi-anal egg hunt

Dead Wiggle Storage

The current title's in-joke should be edited into the OP

Bring Your Own Broth

all my money goes towards posters of my missing piglet

Black market horse semen fraud

the combo of gangbangs and being evangelical never really made sense

holy poo poo 23andme killed grandma

"It's okay, she's my emotional support mistress."

stay cramped, bitch

tl;dr downloaded tinder for professional purposes

vegan lasagna - surely it can't be more than $75

i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

pentyne posted:

I hope everybody in the comments finds Jesus

I understand that is tied to a deeply traumatic event, however I

I. DID. NOT. YELL. AT. GRANDMA.

Im not sure how exactly to feed the cat

Pam is NOT to apply margarine to any of her coworkers

Im sorry why are you marrying a man that pissed on your head

My teeth will regrow! I am sharklike and powerful!

The Three Vibrator Problem

we kiss every few weeks and she doesn't hate it I think

I even said "excuse me" to the girl loving my boyfriend.

but her meats are well distributed

I'm particular to the "Ohio" one and the "my lawyer suggested" just because of the sheer aggressive determination the person has when saying it

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
Wife (25) is leaving me (28 m) because I believed a lie instead of backing her up. I don’t want to divorce my wife.

quote:

An attempt at making a long, complicated story shorter was made but has failed. TL;DR at bottom.

My wife, and my best friend’s girlfriend (let’s call her “Karen”) really don’t get along, whatsoever. Not even a little bit. It got to the point where they couldn’t even be civil to one another. My wife has absolutely no issues with my best friend, (Zack) and they actually get along really well.

Karen and Zack have been together for about 9 years. For all of those 9 years Karen has been a nightmare in real life towards Zack. It’s a very turbulent and at times violent relationship (towards Zack, not Karen). So that, and many other reasons, is why my wife won’t even be 100ft of Karen.

All of our friend group has had blow ups with Karen over the years, (ESPECIALLY my wife but that’s a whole other post). Karen also has a history of lying and making things up when she even imagines a whiff of Zack being finally over her crap and rightfully leaving her. One (of many) examples being Karen supposedly got into a car wreck (in his car btw) and “needed him so badly” but when the car was returned there was very minimal damage and it eventually came out that she “might have” done the damage herself. Yea, she’s crazy and that is literally just one example.

So to the problem.

A couple of months ago Karen and Zack were having a monthly blow up and this one in particular was pretty bad. Zack came over to our house and was telling us about this recent fight. The details were really bad and Zack expressed how he wants to leave her. Me and my wife were trying to help with a game plan to get him and their kid (they have a son) out of there. Zack gets a call from Karen and she’s bawling for him to come home, to which he does. A couple of days later Zack asks if he and Karen can come over to discuss something. My wife has permanently banned Karen from stepping onto the property but Zack had stated Karen had something to say that could explain her behavior and that could help us move forward and potentially be friends. So we allowed this to be an exception and I’m coming to deeply regret this decision.

When they get here we all sit down and Karen starts running her garbage mouth. She says that the reason she was awful in the past is because about a year into their relationship she had been SA while heavily intoxicated and under the influence of drugs at an event for a family member. She continued on and Zack for the most part was sitting in silence. I started nodding and was about to offer my condolences and any support she might need when my wife cut Karen off mid sentence and looked her in the eyes and called her “a f——d up lying abusive b——“ and started flipping out at her and started yelling at Zack asking “if he actually believed her BS?” My wife started listing out other times when Karen had lied or did something to keep Zack from leaving her but in the moment I didn’t think any of that mattered. My wife did have good points and she clearly saw the pattern but once again I didn’t think it mattered in that moment.

We were all shocked and taken back by my wife’s outburst. My wife is the type of person to always believe victims the first time and will bend over backwards to give resources and try her best to help them. My wife is also a victim of abuse so she has compassion and empathy when it comes to these types of situations, which is why her outburst was so far out of left field and just not like her.

Karen starts bawling and Zack gets up to yell at my wife and starts defending Karen. At the time, I couldn’t believe my wife was saying this and I thought it was just because she didn’t like Karen. I immediately jumped in and started yelling at my wife about how dare she accuse Karen of lying about something like this and how she needs support. My wife looked at me and said “call me when it comes out she’s lying about this too” and grabbed her keys and her dog and left.

Zack and Karen pretty much left after this and Zack had some pretty choice words for me. I reached out to Zack apologizing again and offering my support in anyway. I didn’t hear anything from Zack for about 2 weeks after that. My wife had came back for some clothes and her laptop but immediately left after that. My wife had went to her parents to stay and I was too disgusted by my wife’s behavior that I didn’t reach out to her either.

I get a phone call from Zack asking if Karen and him can come over because Karen had something she wanted to say. When they came in I could tell they were very tense and Karen looked terrified and like she had been crying. Zack sat in silence and just hung his head. I started to apologize to them about my wife’s behavior again and how out of line she was when Zack stopped me and told Karen to tell me. I looked at Karen and she blurts out she had in fact lied about being SA. She knew Zack wanted to break up with her and she made it up so he would feel bad and stay with her. Zack didn’t say anything else and both pretty much left after that. Karen didn’t even apologize.

I called my wife right after they left and I told her what had happened and that she was right and Karen did in fact lie. My wife stayed silent and hung up on me. She sent me a text right after saying she wanted a divorce and she wasn’t willing to work on things. I tried calling her back but she had blocked me. I called Zack and told him that my wife is divorcing me because of his lying b—— gf and all he could do was apologize and hung up.

At this point I don’t know what to do or if there’s anything I can do. I feel so stupid for believing Karen and not believing my wife. I keep thinking about how my wife went down a line of things that Karen has done in the past and how this most recent lie is in fact how this woman operates. I feel incredibly stupid for not seeing that. I feel stupid that my wife did see the pattern and tried to lay it out for me and I wouldn’t even look at it.

My wife was right and now I’m getting a divorce. I don’t want to divorce from my wife over this lie!

What am I supposed to do now? Can I still win my wife back? Did I do the right thing? Can/should I still be friends with Zack? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?

TL;DR my best friend’s girlfriend lied about being SA to keep my friend from leaving her. My wife immediately called her out for what she is. I didn’t back up my wife at all and defended the girlfriend. It eventually came out that the girlfriend did actually lie and my wife now wants to divorce because I took the girlfriend’s side.

Edit: I literally can’t keep up with the comments anymore. I can’t even refresh my comments properly. Yes I hosed up. It’s no ones fault but my own. I’m gonna contact my wife’s parents and see if I can get her to talk to me.

kind of a big post but this guy fucks up big time

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Foo Diddley posted:

Wife (25) is leaving me (28 m) because I believed a lie instead of backing her up. I don’t want to divorce my wife.

kind of a big post but this guy fucks up big time

Chronic violent toxic liar and manipulator suddenly busts out a detailed tragic story and insists its why they deserve forgiveness?

Also some like that happening in life is not then an excuse for *checks notes* 8 loving YEARS of lovely treatment abuse hurled at your partner.

It's actually weirder the OP got so aggressive in defending Karen then anything else. Like he was extremely eager to make sure everyone forgave Karen, to an almost suspicious degree. That marriage is toast and the wife is better off.

pentyne fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Mar 23, 2022

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

pentyne posted:

that was a banger. I've got a list of the ones for the past 2 years



I'm particular to the "Ohio" one and the "my lawyer suggested" just because of the sheer aggressive determination the person has when saying it

I'm choking on laughter here, thank you for your service!

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

pentyne posted:

that was a banger. I've got a list of the ones for the past 2 years


semi-anal egg hunt

I remember hurting my neck when I first read this.

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Nebrilos
Oct 9, 2012

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I've told this story before, but my ex-wife had a habit of putting things in the oven when they were in her way in the kitchen. Now I know some people store things like baking sheets and muffin tins in the oven because they take up space and they're metal anyway. Not the case with her. Literally anything in the way was going into the oven. One day I set it to preheat at 375 for dinner and went downstairs to change the laundry from the washer to the dryer. By the time I came back up the apartment was filled with smoke, the alarm was blaring, and she was out on the balcony pouring water on a smoldering black thing that I later found out was the goddamn CD player.

What, she was just trying to burn a CD. Isn't that how it works?

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