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I bought a fancy bidet toilet and it has a light and a heated seat. It's basically the best thing ever pooping in the dark at 2am with freezing rain outside and a warm bum. E: fucksake. Cat tax. I have a hole in chest. Miss my neck cat 
Mebh fucked around with this message at 22:42 on Mar 27, 2022 |
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Mar 27, 2022 22:37
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NotJustANumber99 posted:do you poo poo in the dark normally? e: ^^^ Also thank you for reminding me of this, what model did you get?
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Mar 27, 2022 22:39
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Failed Imagineer posted:illuminated by the glow of the UKMT on my phone bookmark my post for when you want a particularly well illuminated poo poo 
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Mar 27, 2022 22:40
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thank you kind goon
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Mar 27, 2022 22:42
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i dont think I've ever poo poo at 2am? like my body sorts all that out to happen at more respectable times also put your toilet indoors imho
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Mar 27, 2022 22:43
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pro gamer shitter with rgb leds and transparent bowl so you can see the turds go down.
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Mar 27, 2022 22:50
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JeremoudCorbynejad posted:bookmark my post for when you want a particularly well illuminated poo poo 
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Mar 27, 2022 22:58
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NotJustANumber99 posted:i dont think I've ever poo poo at 2am? like my body sorts all that out to happen at more respectable times If I have to let my dog out back to shite at 3am then you'd better believe I'm letting fly too
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Mar 27, 2022 22:59
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i feel like these chats are a lot more productive than all that socialism nonsense
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Mar 27, 2022 23:07
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Lol people with functional eyesight are such babies Wah wah I can't see
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Mar 27, 2022 23:08
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making GBS threads in the dark is fun until you come to wipe and cannot tell when it is safe to stop.
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Mar 27, 2022 23:11
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OwlFancier posted:making GBS threads in the dark is fun until you come to wipe and cannot tell when it is safe to stop. I could tell you such things
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Mar 27, 2022 23:12
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an expert sharpshooter can tell the difference in weight of the gun loaded and unloaded same with HopperUK and toilet paper
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Mar 27, 2022 23:15
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HopperUK posted:I could tell you such things It's by taste, right?
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Mar 27, 2022 23:22
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OwlFancier posted:making GBS threads in the dark is fun until you come to wipe and cannot tell when it is safe to stop. This is why bidets are revolutionary. Why wipe yourself when you can get a robot with a high pressure hose to do it for you and make a soft tinkling chirp noise when its done...
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Mar 28, 2022 00:01
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*robot turns to camera* “Eh, it’s a living!” *laugh track*
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Mar 28, 2022 08:49
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NotJustANumber99 posted:just happy in the knowledge that my posts in this thread do serve a purpose. That's not what we mean by "shitposting".
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Mar 28, 2022 10:01
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Mebh posted:This is why bidets are revolutionary. Why wipe yourself when you can get a robot with a high pressure hose to do it for you and make a soft tinkling chirp noise when its done... There needs to be one with a bluetooth controlled articulated head so you can play clean my bum with your phone.
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Mar 28, 2022 10:38
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If you've got a history book at home, take it out and throw it in the bin, it's worthless. The history books now, will have to be rewritten. What will they say? They'll quite simply say Will Smith punched Chris Rock, everything else will be a footnote.
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Mar 28, 2022 10:56
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Haven't bought a history book since 1992, what's the point, it ended then.
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Mar 28, 2022 11:01
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Everybody Hits Chris
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Mar 28, 2022 11:02
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keep punching joe posted:Haven't bought a history book since 1992, what's the point, it ended then. Human progress ended in 1993 (called "the end of his-to-ree") Between the fall of communism And the Spice Girls' first LP
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Mar 28, 2022 11:12
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Comrade Fakename posted:If you've got a history book at home, take it out and throw it in the bin, it's worthless. The history books now, will have to be rewritten. https://twitter.com/paulwaugh/status/1508360880366440450?t=M5fg_AbMwlACmJHMbWA59w&s=19 CON+5
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Mar 28, 2022 11:21
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Keir Starmer. Forever the most bran flakes of politician. The box it comes in is more interesting, makes you poo poo, only liked by old people who you've never seen in real life, constantly talked about as something necessary for you to consume.
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Mar 28, 2022 11:27
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I am enjoying the pearl-clutching comedians online defending the importance of being able to mock a person's medical condition and not face repercussions
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Mar 28, 2022 11:27
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I loving love bran flakes with choc oat milk 
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Mar 28, 2022 11:28
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Huxley was right over Orwell, the future isn't a boot stamping on a human face forever, it's an infinite series of goggleboxen. What does @jamieoliver think of @rickygervais quip about @Keir_Starmer on Will Smith hitting Chris Rock?
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Mar 28, 2022 11:30
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Well. They got everyone talking about them after 2 years of near irrelevance so I'm sure they'll all be happy having all the money and being the centre of attention again.
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Mar 28, 2022 11:30
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Mebh what model bum washer did you buy?
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Mar 28, 2022 11:31
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Goose Neck 4000.
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Mar 28, 2022 11:43
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If Starmer can't be trusted to defend his own wife, how can we trust him to defend out country, values, and traditions.
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Mar 28, 2022 11:45
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Wait has Keir Starmer ever been on Celeb Gogglebox? I'd say that would be astonishingly poo poo. I know the fatter, more obnoxious elder Johnson has been on a few times
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Mar 28, 2022 11:49
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We need a new level beyond red on for where two grown men having a literal slapfight can trump a war we were all paying attention to and the five we were ignoring. And also without Megadonegal because that's just terrifying.
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Mar 28, 2022 11:50
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A slapfight that happened at the literal and metaphorical epicentre of the global consent factory. The semiotics of all that are going to be keeping po-mo cultural critics in hot takes for years to come
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Mar 28, 2022 11:53
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Guavanaut posted:Megadonegal If youse can have a Londonderry we can have a Megadonegal E: pronounced like "McGonigle"
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Mar 28, 2022 11:55
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Comrade Fakename posted:If you've got a history book at home, take it out and throw it in the bin, it's worthless. The history books now, will have to be rewritten. But can you sum it up in a sound?
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Mar 28, 2022 11:56
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Guavanaut posted:We need a new level beyond red on RIP Iceland.
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Mar 28, 2022 11:58
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Guavanaut posted:for where two grown men having a literal slapfight can trump a war we were all paying attention to and the five we were ignoring. You have to ignore them, remembering other things that happened and are relevant to the subject is illegal these days, it's called whataboutism.
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Mar 28, 2022 11:59
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Guavanaut posted:We need a new level beyond red on I like that even the contiguous US doesn't care about Alaska Also what the gently caress has happened the Ireland
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Mar 28, 2022 12:03
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Oh my god my mental defences can't even cope with the rush of takes about this Oscars thing, I'm literally going to have to go into an isolation chamber for a month when the Queen dies.
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Mar 28, 2022 12:09
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