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sullat
Jan 9, 2012

Guildenstern Mother posted:

So I was looking up more info on the tablet in question and while it's referenced in a few texts they're apparently kinda bullshit texts. My bad for propagating a bad history story without researching first. It's apparently also commonly misattributed to Cicero, and is a product of the 1920s Western academic tradition. So still going strong I guess

You really got to hand it to Cicero, he was a dedicated shitposter, at least until Mark Anthony had him hit with a perma.

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A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Cicero is also on record with some of the first Sparta fetishizing writings that we have. Sparta would've fallen under the Roman heel like 80 years before he wrote it, so the bizarre poo poo the decayed little village in the Peloponnese still did would've been in living memory. Cicero is also on record with his own tracts about how Roman woman were whores and wore foreign makeup and how public virtue was falling to pieces and the usual pearl clutching. Though,to his credit, he did end up with his hands nailed to the Senate door so perhaps he wasn't entirely pearl clutching.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
Can I be sued because a mentally challenged person isnt' controlled?

quote:

(Resposted with mod permission due to spam filter)

I recently moved into a neighborhood in Michigan. One of my neighbors(we'll call him Bob) came over to introduce himself. He told me that he has a special needs son that lives with him. The son is in his 30s, physically unchallenged but with significant mental disabilities.

Bob first asked if I would mind keeping dangerous things out of my yard. Like not leaving chainsaws or something unattended. That's pretty reasonable. But then he proceeded to tell me that I needed to keep my garage doors down at all times or I had to lock up anything dangerous if I wanted to keep them up - like all gasoline, sharp tools, fertilizers, et cetera. Oh, also any beer or other alcohol, like in my garage fridge. I also need to keep my door locked at all times else his son may wander into the house and do damage or hurt himself.

Then Bob tells me that now that I've been warned, if his son gets into anything I'm now liable to be sued by him for the damages to his son. And that he isn't liable for what his son does at all, so if the son breaks anything that's on me.

That can't be right, can it? I'm all for taking reasonable precautions but doesn't he have some need to take care of his own?

8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

therobit posted:

Can I be sued because a mentally challenged person isnt' controlled?

Yeah... Nice try neighbor dude but that's not how any of that works.

Butter Activities
May 4, 2018

therobit posted:

Can I be sued because a mentally challenged person isnt' controlled?

Does he have some scam going where his kid pretends to be disabled and goes and fucks other peoples poo poo up?

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Sure but Saudi Arabia doesn’t have any bear attacks unlike North America where harlots won’t hold their periods in

(If anyone remembers that period one please remind me I can’t find it. It’s my second favorite behind the young girl who thinks her 40 year old slam piece is trans because he’s the only male that was remotely helpful or sympathetic during her period.)

Do you have the period one? I don't remember that post.

Guildenstern Mother posted:

There's a cuneiform tablet that's just some dude whining about how civilization is going to collapse because the gottdang young'uns don't respect their elders or believe in tradition. I would in no way be surprised to find out it's just a natural part of aging where your brain stops wanting to respond to change of any kind and just gets bitchy and dramatic about it

Socrates said the same poo poo about kids these days and how society was going down the aqueducts because of writing. Fortunately, Plato documented this to laugh about how wrong he was. At a certain point, regardless of calendar age, some people just choose to boomerbrain themselves. There have always been idiot reactionaries, and unfortunately always will be.

therobit posted:

Can I be sued because a mentally challenged person isnt' controlled?

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Does he have some scam going where his kid pretends to be disabled and goes and fucks other peoples poo poo up?

Most definitely. One way or another though, these chucklefucks are going to find out Michigan's a castle doctrine state. Seems like kind of a bad place to run this scam.

Quackles
Aug 11, 2018

Pixels of Light.


Guildenstern Mother posted:

So I was looking up more info on the tablet in question and while it's referenced in a few texts they're apparently kinda bullshit texts. My bad for propagating a bad history story without researching first. It's apparently also commonly misattributed to Cicero, and is a product of the 1920s Western academic tradition. So still going strong I guess

I've also heard a similar quote (wrongly) ascribed to Plato, and possibly-supposedly from the 1950s.

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...
I’m thinking of leaving my boyfriend over his playboi carti obsession

quote:

So my (F18) boyfriend (M19) is a big playboi carti stan to the point where I can’t stand it anymore. I’m a swiftie and love Taylor but I never just go out and make my whole life devoted to her I like her a normal amount. My boyfriend though is something else to start with he has posters all over his room of carti he constantly listens to him and only him one time I asked him to listen to something different and he started crying. He often calls me slat whatever that means and I hate it just the other day I saw his full wardrobe and there’s so many loving carti hoodies omg this man is crazy. It’s gotten to a point where I think he’s gay for him he’s also constantly begging me to call him vamp I’m at my breaking point.

r/relationships: He often calls me slat whatever that means

(Apologies if this is a slur but I couldn't find anything by Googling it.....)

Evil Willow fucked around with this message at 10:02 on Mar 28, 2022

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...
Double post, but this one is too good to pass up!

AITA for being mad at my gf for acting undignified?

quote:

This stories kinda gross so be warned

I (24M) live with my gf (29F) “Sara” in an apartment. Things are going good for the most part but we argue every now and then. This week has been one of those weeks.

The other night we’re both home watching TV and Sara got up to go to the bathroom. I have the movie paused and I’m just on my phone and I hear in the bathroom she farted. When she came back I told her not to do that when I’m around cuz it’s gross. She told me I was being ridiculous because it was in the bathroom but I stood my ground. It became a somewhat large argument then she got pissed and went to bed.

The next morning she’s giving me a ride to work cuz my cars in the shop. She’s not really talking to me and I think she’s pissed. Then all of a sudden the car starts smelling bad. I try to roll down the window and theyre locked and she starts laughing her rear end off. She did this for like the whole 20 minute ride and the whole car smelled like trash. I texted her after telling her she’s a psycho and she said I deserved it because I was being an rear end in a top hat.

AITA I feel like this was over the top and gross

coolusername
Aug 23, 2011

cooltitletext

Evil Willow posted:

I’m thinking of leaving my boyfriend over his playboi carti obsession

r/relationships: He often calls me slat whatever that means

(Apologies if this is a slur but I couldn't find anything by Googling it.....)

He's sayin slatt, not slat, it means 'slime love all the time' and it's basically zoomer for homie/bro as far as I know. And no, I don't know why slime is involved.

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

coolusername posted:

He's sayin slatt, not slat, it means 'slime love all the time' and it's basically zoomer for homie/bro as far as I know. And no, I don't know why slime is involved.

??? ?

coolusername
Aug 23, 2011

cooltitletext

this is the knowledge you get as the mature age student listening to the kids these days with their tiktoks and their rappers. Thousands of dollars a semester burnt purely so I can look deeply into your eyes and call you my main slime, slatt.

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...

coolusername posted:

He's sayin slatt, not slat, it means 'slime love all the time' and it's basically zoomer for homie/bro as far as I know. And no, I don't know why slime is involved.

That's what I found too! Which is why I have no clue if it's an actual slur that means something else that I'm completely blind to.

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Evil Willow posted:

I’m thinking of leaving my boyfriend over his playboi carti obsession

r/relationships: He often calls me slat whatever that means

(Apologies if this is a slur but I couldn't find anything by Googling it.....)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMMmLH7rnyM

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012
My (1:8F) date (18M) keeps fighting with the waiter at our favourite restaurant

quote:

Recently, I’ve been going on quite a few dates with this guy I met through our mutual friends. He’s a great guy, we talk like we’ve known each other for years and we have lots of similar interests. He’s also attractive and has a stable future plan, but more important than that, he’s caring and I feel safe with him.

However, every time we go on a date to a specific Italian restaurant (our favourite), he seeks out a specific waiter and they begin bickering and fighting. Just yesterday, we went there and the night started out great. That was until my date and the waiter saw each other, to which they started arguing about the menu, the food presentation, the speed at which the food is served. This arguing usually ruins the date as it spoils his mood and I have no clue how to fix it. I don’t know what kind of relationship they have, but ever since our first date at that restaurant, to our most recent visit, he’s always fighting with that specific waiter. I’ve questioned him about it, but he never elaborates, shrugging me off and changing the topic. Is this a red flag? Should I be concerned? He’s never like this with any other waitstaff or person in general, I just don’t know why he has such a heavy grudge against this specific waiter.

tl:dr My date thinks tall Italian waiters are the most infuriating thing in the world

Bottle of red
bottle of white
It all depends if I start a fight
I’ll date you any time you want
To brawl in this Italian restaurant

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Quackles posted:

I've also heard a similar quote (wrongly) ascribed to Plato, and possibly-supposedly from the 1950s.

An actual quote like that is from Hesiod, one of the earliest Greek writers we have works from -

'“I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond
words… When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and
respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly
disrespectful and impatient of restraint.”'

so, y'know, 700BC or so.

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011

Muldoon
Zoomers are into slime. Slime is cool. You can make it in your kitchen with household ingredients.

I don’t know nearly enough to tell you why slime, but slime being a term of endearment is not a surprise to me.

OPAONI
Jul 23, 2021

teen witch posted:

My (1:8F) date (18M) keeps fighting with the waiter at our favourite restaurant

Bottle of red
bottle of white
It all depends if I start a fight
I’ll date you any time you want
To brawl in this Italian restaurant

This is a reskin of the waffle house eggs story that lacks the believability of the wafflehouse story

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


AITA for not being as excited about my younger sister's dog adoption as I was about my older sister's new child?

quote:

I am 32 years old, male, and I live across the country from the rest of my family. My older sister, Nina, is 36, and my younger sister, Jen, is 25.

Last month, Nina gave birth to her first child. When she went into labor, I booked the first ticket across the country to meet her new son.

I took a week off work and spent the entire time helping her out where I could, catching up with family, and looking for any excuse to hold her new baby. During this time, Jen was becoming visibly frustrated with the attention the baby was getting, and she went full passive-aggressive mode on me for the last few days of the trip. On the last day, I gave Nina $5,000 for the baby to use as she wishes. I know she and her husband aren't in the greatest situation financially, and she would never ask me for money, but I was happy to give it to her.

A week later, I suddenly got a message directing me to Jen's Twitter. I ignored it at first because I don't use Twitter. Then I got a Skype message from her with a picture of a new puppy. I told her the dog was super cute and asked where she got it. Apparently she had "saved" it from a local pound from euthanasia (absolute horseshit by the way; that puppy could be addicted to meth and someone would adopt it). I congratulated her on her new dog and figured that was that.

During the next week, Jen kept getting more and more persistent about when I would visit again to see her new dog. I told her I wouldn't be doing so, and so Jen linked me to her Amazon wishlist for new dog necessities. Since she doesn't work, it's not really any surprise that she would ask for someone to buy her things for her dog. I ignored it.

Finally Jen snapped and sent me a really long message about how much attention I gave to Nina for "having sex" (yuck, she's my sister too you know), how her dog means just as much to her as Nina's baby, and how I was such an rear end to give Nina $1,000.

Apparently word got to her that I gave Nina money, but luckily she misunderstood and thought it was only $1,000. Thank gently caress for that.

Jen is still refusing to talk to me and our mother even says the least I could do is buy her a leash, but I don't want to encourage her behavior any further. AITA for sticking to my guns here?

keep punching joe
Jan 22, 2006

Die Satan!
repost the story about the man who ends up in a physical altercation with the fry cook at his local diner, every single time.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Evil Willow posted:

Double post, but this one is too good to pass up!

AITA for being mad at my gf for acting undignified?

This idiot didn't realize, somehow, that if he hasn't heard or smelled a fart out of his girlfriend then she's been holding in bombs even if it's making her sick. This dumb fucker broke the seal by bitching about a fart in a turlet, and now eye-searing gas so thick it's a plasma will fill his life until he gets out or gives in

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Evil Willow posted:

I’m thinking of leaving my boyfriend over his playboi carti obsession


I am old and I read this as Playboy Cacti

Couldn't figure out what that could be except voluptuous succulents.


Myrtillocactus geometrizans 'Fukurokuryuzinboku' aka boob cactus

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Roddenberry was taken off alien design duty after that sketch

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


axolotl farmer posted:

I am old and I read this as Playboy Cacti

Couldn't figure out what that could be except voluptuous succulents.


Myrtillocactus geometrizans 'Fukurokuryuzinboku' aka boob cactus


drat girl

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

Evil Willow posted:

Double post, but this one is too good to pass up!

AITA for being mad at my gf for acting undignified?

One time I brought home a date that ended up giving herself a black eye on the corner of the coffee table because she suddenly realized she had to fart and tripped while trying to run to the bathroom.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

axolotl farmer posted:

I am old and I read this as Playboy Cacti

Couldn't figure out what that could be except voluptuous succulents.


Myrtillocactus geometrizans 'Fukurokuryuzinboku' aka boob cactus


The "Paige NO!" pic, but it's me, about to motorboat some cactiddies

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to pay for my niece’s contact lens?

did she at least name the dog "Contact Lenses"?

Buddy you paid for the contact lenses. Your sister stole the money to pay for a dog. Now she's asking you to pay for the dog so she can apply that money to the daughter.

What an amazing mother.

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Evil Willow posted:

Double post, but this one is too good to pass up!

AITA for being mad at my gf for acting undignified?

:owned:

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Zoomers are into slime. Slime is cool. You can make it in your kitchen with household ingredients.

I don’t know nearly enough to tell you why slime, but slime being a term of endearment is not a surprise to me.

When Fortnite was big, I remember hearing that one of the slangs that developed around it was asking for a healing item (Slurp Juice) with
"Gimme that slurp, bro"

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

kimbo305 posted:

When Fortnite was big, I remember hearing that one of the slangs that developed around it was asking for a healing item (Slurp Juice) with
"Gimme that slurp, bro"

Sounds like an in universe ad.

Fatty
Sep 13, 2004
Not really fat

therobit posted:

Can I be sued because a mentally challenged person isnt' controlled?

You missed the first post where he had the best possible response.
AITA for telling my neighbor that I'd sue him instead?

quote:

[
I recently moved into a neighborhood in Michigan. One of my neighbors(we'll call him Bob) came over to introduce himself. He told me that he has a special needs son that lives with him. The son is in his 30s, physically unchallenged but with significant mental disabilities.

Bob first asked if I would mind keeping dangerous things out of my yard. Like not leaving chainsaws or something unattended. That's pretty reasonable. But then he proceeded to tell me that I needed to keep my garage doors down at all times or I had to lock up anything dangerous if I wanted to keep them up - like all gasoline, sharp tools, fertilizers, et cetera. Oh, also any beer or other alcohol, like in my garage fridge. I also need to keep my door locked at all times else his son may wander into the house and do damage or hurt himself.

Then Bob tells me that now that I've been warned, if his son gets into anything I'm now liable to be sued by him I told Bob in no uncertain terms that he was to control his kid, and that if his kid came into my house and broke stuff, I'd absolutely sue him and he'd absolutely pay.

Later I met the other neighbors and recounted this tale. They all got the same lecture from Bob when they moved in and they just said "OK, Bob" and ignored it. They all think I handled it wrong and that I should've just let Bob think that everything was good. They think I'm being a dick to Bob by not letting him believe he didn't have anything to worry about.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Where be the slurp up in this piece, son?

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to pay for my niece’s contact lens?

"I only stole the $700 you gave us the one time, I'm totally going to use your money the right way this time!!"

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



How about some more CAMPING DRAMA

AITA for bringing a camper while camping?

quote:

I know this sounds a bit odd. But I (M32) am not a big fan of camping. Don't like it, but don't really hate it either. My sister loves it though. And every time she invites me on a camping trip, something happens. My sister and her husband love to camp with friends multiple times a year. Our mother always calls me up begging I go too. And the reason why is because my sister and BIL use camping as a reason to get wasted and act like teenagers. They have two kids, both boys, 10 and 9 years old. So someone needs to stay sober and be responsible. My sister and BIL love to screw with me too. They don't like to let me sleep in, and would literally collapse my tent on me to wake me up. Last year I brought one of those cots that's it's own small tent. They pushed me over in it like they were cow tipping. I'd had enough. So this year I took some measures.

I only go along with the camping for the sake of my nephews. They're good kids. So this year I got a used camper without telling anyone and met my sister and the rest of her group at the campsite with it. She looked not pleased when she saw it. But didn't say she was upset. Everyone else seemed to love the camper though. During the camping all of the usual stuff happened. Except any time they tried to screw with me, I just went into the camper and locked the door. Which also meant I got a better night's sleep. Around 8 am I heard someone outside fiddling with the door knob. They were trying to prank me again. They ended up resorting to using an air horn. I put in ear plugs. They then tried to rock the truck, but it must have been too heavy because they stopped after a few seconds. I didn't get up till 11. I made myself breakfast, got to do my business in a portable toilet, and had a decent place to change clothes. When I finally came outside my sister looked pissed.

The entire time we were camping stuff went on like this. But they couldn't mess with me when I locked myself in a box. I got good sleep for once on these trips, and my nephews were always wanting in my camper to hang out. We played UNO at the table a few times. And I had a refrigerator filled with soda. When the trip was over my sister confronted me and said that next time she was making a tents only rule. And I said I wouldn't be going then because my camper and I are a package deal. She told me she hated the camper, and that it wasn't necessary. I said she only hated it because she can't mess with me now that I have it. I was sick of all the stupid pranks. And if they want me to help with the kids on camping trips, then my camper comes with and they stop messing with me. She called me a jackass and walked away to fume.

The only other person who's giving me crap is her husband. But everyone else says the camper is cool. AITA for getting it?

How DARE you not go along with our rich family tradition of loving with you and making your life miserable while we're counting on you to be the responsible adult, you rear end in a top hat!

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Limits? LIMITS? On what I can DO to you? :mad:

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
I mean he already spent his own money, on something expensive, to do something he doesn't like, to help someone who treats him like poo poo, so they don't have to be functional adults. I wouldn't be surprised if he gives in and they roast marshmallows over his burning camper while his sister and his husband dump itching powder down his shorts.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



I want to believe in camper guy, he never should've gone with them a second time but I think buying the camper let him enjoy his first taste of having a backbone, and things will eventually improve from there :unsmith:

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

they'll probably burn him alive in the camper next time

datajugend
Jan 15, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
They are gonna plan that poo poo for the next trip, so get a latch on the inside and keep the keys safe 24/7.

They sound like turds so worst case scenario thinking like fart gas in a cracked window or towing the camper away.

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Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
AITA for not allowing my girlfriends sister to move in and changing the locks?

quote:

So a really messy situation. I (27M) have been dating my girlfriend Ashton (26F) for 2 years and we live in the house that I own. Ashton’s finishing up her masters program so I don’t charge her rent. I pay for all the housing expenses and in return she chips in on groceries, utilities and some of the household chores. But I pay the lions share of all household expenses. I’m cool with this situation till she graduates and we have always communicated well until now.

Ashton has a hot mess of a sister named Anna (28F). Anna has burned most of her bridges with her family. She has two kids by two different dads. Been married and divorced twice. Hops from one sketchy boyfriend to another. Always in and out of work. Always complaining about her situation instead of actually doing anything to solve it. I gave up on her last year when she dated this loser who obviously didn’t like kids. And she kept dating him against me and her sisters advice. Well she moved into his place. And this Saturday we got a call that they were breaking up and she had nowhere to go this time. She hadn’t been working and didn’t have rent money. Ashton asked me if we could take them in. I said absolutely not. Her sister was a leech. Also that I didn’t want kids in my house. I work from home half the time and don’t want 3 extra people in my space. Also I don’t wanna get involved with her sister at all. I’ve supported her plenty over the last few years (rides, babysitting, etc) and I’m done. My girlfriend didn’t take this well and said she would help her sister if she could. I said fine, let me know where you take her and I’ll bring by some food but it won’t be my house. My girlfriend tried saying it was her house too. I said when she started paying the mortgage she can decide who lives here.

So her sister tried calling me individually. I told her the same reasons and told her id bring food by when she finds a place. I also gave her the number of multiple organizations that could help her. She got offended. Well I was at work yesterday (sales) and I noticed on my ring camera Anna/her kids unlocking my front door with a bag on her shoulder. I called my girlfriend and asked her immediately what was going on. She said Anna needed a place to go for a few hours while her ex moved out of the apartment. I asked how she got in the house as I locked it. Ashton said she made Anna a key months ago in case she ever needed to get in. I was furious and told her to tell Anna to get out or I’d be calling the police. Ashton called and Anna left. Not before calling me an AH. So I decided today to change the locks and get a new garage access code. Ashton will have to request access through the garage and I will give access. Ashton is upset. But I told her that this is gonna be the way it is until her sister finds a place. Because I can’t trust I won’t come home and find 2 kids and a woman living in my house. AITA?

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