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Is it better to create a wand by scrimshawing Symbols of Power onto a good person’s femur, or an evil person’s femur?
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Jan 18, 2022 04:21
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secular woods sex posted:Is it better to create a wand by scrimshawing Symbols of Power onto a good person’s femur, or an evil person’s femur? What are you going to be using the wand for? Evil bones get you reliability, they're much better for combat and day to day casting. I find that I value that more than the power boost you can get by using a good person's femur, frankly I've seen too many power-obsessed wizards who try to squeeze every drop out of a ritual and have it backfire at the worst possible moment because they just had to use some good-aligned components which broke under the strain.
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Jan 18, 2022 04:32
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You’re right, evil is the way to go. Gonna get me a matched pair of Lich McWandells.
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Jan 18, 2022 04:54
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secular woods sex posted:You’re right, evil is the way to go. Hold up, if you use good femurs that you turned the previous owner to a complete act of despair or maybe even unintended evil/desperation right before taking them, you get a bonus on the casting. YMMV with the bonus though, could be insignificant (but same in reliability as evil bones) but it could be big and that is a great payoff
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Jan 18, 2022 05:12
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Btw, does this robe make my rear end look big?
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Jan 18, 2022 05:13
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It should since it's a robe of rear end-embiggening, just checking to see what the increase looks like
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Jan 18, 2022 05:14
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secular woods sex posted:You’re right, evil is the way to go.
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Jan 18, 2022 05:49
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W I Z A R D M A S T E R
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Jan 18, 2022 10:51
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BigBadSteve posted:W I Z A R D 
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Jan 18, 2022 14:46
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ilovebeersooomuch posted:Btw, does this robe make my rear end look big? Your DERRIERE looks....ENCHANTING!!
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Jan 18, 2022 14:49
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This is a little embarrassing, but let's just say... hypothetically... I used some cheap ingredients and got Cockatrice feathers mixed in with my Phoenix feathers. If I accidentally turned a guy's hand into stone, is there an easy way to fix this? This'll teach me to try and save a few bucks.
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Jan 18, 2022 15:00
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Just tell him you meant it, and if they don't pay up, their whole body will get stoned too. This is dark wizard thread bud!
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Jan 18, 2022 15:26
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A Fancy Hat posted:This is a little embarrassing, but let's just say... hypothetically... I used some cheap ingredients and got Cockatrice feathers mixed in with my Phoenix feathers. Dos't thou haves't a brazen rod scribed with the orcish tongue?! If so you may yet procure water from the stone hand and by this means entertain a travelling party across a fair distance across barren lands and go on quite the adventure without need of procuring further means of *just continues rambling and meanders away still talking*
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Jan 18, 2022 15:33
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Big Beef City posted:Dos't thou haves't a brazen rod scribed with the orcish tongue?! *nods head* *eyes glaze over* in my head right now: 
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Jan 18, 2022 15:46
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ilovebeersooomuch posted:Btw, does this robe make my rear end look big? ilovebeersooomuch posted:It should since it's a robe of rear end-embiggening, just checking to see what the increase looks like somebody installed a bunch of mods on this server, everyone ran around in a bikini and high heels with purple hair extensions for a couple weeks. ever seen a skeleton with hair extensions?? not pretty. and the bikini was empty but stuck out like a wonderbra. disturbing honestly. this pocket dimension I live in (for tax purposes) being a video game server has been great in a lot of ways but it crosses lines sometimes
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Jan 18, 2022 16:16
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naem posted:somebody installed a bunch of mods on this server, everyone ran around in a bikini and high heels with purple hair extensions for a couple weeks. This is intriguing Are cheats eneabled? How does that work with your archane powers? Can someone just clip through you magical barriers if they wanted to?
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Jan 19, 2022 16:16
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Hi, I'm a light wizard considering the route of sinister darkness. What's the bureaucracy involved in doing so? Do I need to file to relinquish my healing license?
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Jan 19, 2022 16:31
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Light can be just as dark. It doesn't take much to repurpose healing spells as necromancy, really. Plus you could create an alter ego so you keep your healing license and send adventurers to your evil lair and kill them, adding more bodies to your evil army Or you can just wield light powers to brainwash people into zealous crusades that expand your domain of blazing light. Really the possibilities are endless
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Jan 19, 2022 16:55
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Seriously, a time honered tradition with Dark Wizardry is making do-gooders think you're one of them. I think you're in a great position here. Word of warning - if you go dark then back to light, you're going to have a really bad time with all of the morally abiguous enimies you will make. Light to dark has similar concerns (when they fugure it out) but do-gooders have a code or sense of honor that prevents them from doing really sick poo poo. Not so much the case with us.
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Jan 19, 2022 17:41
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ilovebeersooomuch posted:This is intriguing err my accountant set this all up, some kind of tax loophole, I’m not 100% sure how this all works but I do know nobody messes with the IRS. talk about evil. it’s like, some things are TOO dark you know?
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Jan 20, 2022 04:09
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naem posted:err my accountant set this all up, some kind of tax loophole, I’m not 100% sure how this all works but I do know nobody messes with the IRS. Honestly, I hope you've got unmittigated control over your accountant, like his family hostage or addicted to Stink Joans Warts or something because it sounds like they could really compromise your dark wizardry given you don't know how that stuff works.
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Jan 20, 2022 18:54
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Doc Fission posted:Hi, I'm a light wizard considering the route of sinister darkness. What's the bureaucracy involved in doing so? Do I need to file to relinquish my healing license? if you look far enough back in magic history, healing is actually a subschool of necromancy. you're kosher bro
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Jan 20, 2022 19:58
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Doc Fission posted:Hi, I'm a light wizard considering the route of sinister darkness. What's the bureaucracy involved in doing so? Do I need to file to relinquish my healing license? Why relinquish ? a healing license is a great way to plant some chaos seed that will grow evil fruit a few centuries from now. "Oh, you're infertile? I can heal that right up! Here's my license blah blah " all the while you lay down a generational curse that doesnt go off until like 6 to 9 generations later. People will be scrambling to figure out where did this grendel-esque monstrosity come from, or why does everyone who interacts with this child die within 2 weeks, or every member of this bloodline now bends to your will. That last one gets really useful if you manipulate a kingdom from the shadows to put that family into a position of power for you to make your big move. Allows you to set up some plans within plans. evil wizardry is all about the long con and if people believe you are good and a healer now; you can really set yourself up for your full dark wizard turn in a couple centuries. Most of the bureaucracy comes from demon pacts or getting in the plans of the powers that be. I wouldnt recommend going that route until you've really figured out your evil scheme and what you are really about in terms of evil wizardry. I dont care what anyone says it takes a few flubs and schemes to figure out what is really important to you in regards to your professional goals.
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Jan 20, 2022 20:03
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Doc Fission posted:Hi, I'm a light wizard considering the route of sinister darkness. What's the bureaucracy involved in doing so? Do I need to file to relinquish my healing license? It's dark wizardry, not dork wizardry. You can do whatever you want unless you are some sort of lawful nerd. IDGI, what's the point of trying to accrue vast power if you are just going to subsume your will to some infantile idea of order? Idiot Rube Service imo.
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Jan 21, 2022 01:15
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ilovebeersooomuch posted:Honestly, I hope you've got unmittigated control over your accountant, like his family hostage or addicted to Stink Joans Warts or something because it sounds like they could really compromise your dark wizardry given you don't know how that stuff works. Oh! Yeah, I skeleton-ed him. Did a whole H&R Block actually. The only bad part is the student loan people kept coming after the accountants even as skellentons, those guys never give up. Actually the mmo my server is in was failing slowly so I sent some skeletons to the real world to go start accounts to bump up the player base. They farm gold to sell to pay their fees, very loyal players. Their guild is just called MEAT though and that is the only word they ever chat. They all want to play undead too, just skeletons playing skelentons all typing MEAT and completing repetitive fetch quests for gold. Can’t imagine what the developers think about it
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Jan 21, 2022 03:04
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naem posted:Can’t imagine what the developers think about it They almost certainly know what's up and don't care. All the big MMOs have an magical component, you don't get people playing for 18+ hours a day and doing questionable things to avoid toilet breaks without some kind of charm or glamour making the game literally irresistible.
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Jan 21, 2022 04:54
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Weka posted:Idiot Rube Service imo. so, your ultimate attack. you know the one, you keep 1 casting of it ready all the time juuuuust in case there's no way you could win or escape so gently caress it i'm going to collapse myself into a 1μm-sphered black hole and go out in style, see you in hell one-sixth of the face of the earth.? compound interest-domain spells are a billion times more powerful than that. dont gently caress around with that poo poo my friend. i may technomance myself some cash on the reg but i pay taxes on that too
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Jan 21, 2022 05:47
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If you haven't learned atleast a smattering of accountancy wards I don't know what to tell you. Delawarus registratum!
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Jan 22, 2022 03:19
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I am resurrecting this thread because which one of you is responsible for this: https://twitter.com/shukran___/status/1505625725935755275?s=20&t=KIyhauCdp1tvvOC_mkFJUA Fun yes, but a little too loud for my dark wizard taste A good way to attract some unwanted attention from the authorities
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Mar 21, 2022 17:53
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oh it’s kevin! yeah, he got into some embiggening potion I’d brewed up. my cover as an Alchemist means I have to brew potions still sometimes and I made a batch a little too strong. I guess the potion smelled a bit like MEAT and you know they can’t resist (don’t ask me how they smell with no nose). he looks depressed hope he’s doing ok. he was too big to fit back into the pit of doom
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Mar 21, 2022 18:17
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I don't mean to quibble but everyone's over the moon over this Elder Ring game. Just.... ok, aside from the really overdone idea of  imbuing a ring with forbidden energies  , did anyone actually, like, bother to consult the various schools of magic that are supposed to be depicted. I mean, some common sense and rigor is too much to expect out of these things?Someone showed me ashen swords of the spectral veil being  cast by waving a stick. Like what the undying gently caress man?
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Mar 26, 2022 19:26
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FilthyImp posted:I don't mean to quibble but everyone's over the moon over this Elder Ring game. Just.... ok, aside from the really overdone idea of Do you want normal people to know how to accurately use the dark arts? Of course not! Elden Ring does a fine job of instilling the proper fear of Dark Wizardry in people.
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Mar 26, 2022 20:24
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Newbie here. I'm trying to summon a demon (revenge reasons), and I think I accidentally sent my summons to the wrong hell. I keep hearing from lonely succubi in my area, imps offering to make my penis larger, and some guys who really want me to play with their puzzlebox. I'm so flooded in hellish correspondence that for all I know a revenge demon took me up on my offer, but is simply lost in the barrage of shady faustian advertisements. What do I do? I need to get my revenge soon, as the fires of passion might die any day.
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Mar 26, 2022 20:50
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This is exactly why you need a wall of hellfire to cleanse the area around your casting circle. People just blunder in mass broadcasting Astral projections and this is what they get.
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Mar 26, 2022 21:10
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You can't hellfirewall demons, dude. They practically live in that poo poo. You gotta reach into the loathsome higher dimensions for a celestial wall.
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Mar 26, 2022 21:31
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Vinny Possum posted:Newbie here. I'm trying to summon a demon (revenge reasons), and I think I accidentally sent my summons to the wrong hell. I keep hearing from lonely succubi in my area, imps offering to make my penis larger, and some guys who really want me to play with their puzzlebox. I'm so flooded in hellish correspondence that for all I know a revenge demon took me up on my offer, but is simply lost in the barrage of shady faustian advertisements. Sign up the target of revenge for these S.P.A.M (satanic personalized aggressive machinations) messages. Make sure you click the "only deliver message via telepathy" box. Don't tell them until the go mad later or get caught up in some infernal scam. They will just start receiving messages directly into their mind. Not pleasant.A couple of old frat buddies did this to me after they got ahold of my private telepathy address, and it took like 3 days to figure out what was going on when I started just hearing messages about how the local mom had this one weird trick to solve my bone shortage.
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Mar 28, 2022 17:20
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Tried to summon an elemental to do some chores; sick of having to make food and stuff you know? But perhaps I shouldn't have ended my incantation with the words "come, elemental", as I'm pretty sure what I got is some variety of slime. It's sogging up my floors and I refuse to eat its cooking. I give that crap to my gargoyles.
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Mar 28, 2022 20:24
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Vinny Possum posted:Newbie here. I'm trying to summon a demon (revenge reasons), and I think I accidentally sent my summons to the wrong hell. I keep hearing from lonely succubi in my area, imps offering to make my penis larger, and some guys who really want me to play with their puzzlebox. I'm so flooded in hellish correspondence that for all I know a revenge demon took me up on my offer, but is simply lost in the barrage of shady faustian advertisements. Revenge Demons aren't' worth it if you're not a full expert on the binding laws of Hell. They'll do your dirty work and then immediately start poking around your victim's relatives looking for one who is willing to sign a blood contract for it to destroy you. There's a reason they don't take a soul fee up front. It's all a big trap. If you're a newbie, do your own dirty work a couple of times before you start offloading it to your legions of damned. Nobody respects the first time necromancer/demonlogist who refuses to get his hands dirty
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Mar 28, 2022 20:37
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Deki posted:Revenge Demons aren't' worth it if you're not a full expert on the binding laws of Hell. They'll do your dirty work and then immediately start poking around your victim's relatives looking for one who is willing to sign a blood contract for it to destroy you. If you use a revenge demon you gotta utilize a "fall soul" for this very reason. just get some rube who wants to learn how to be a dark wizard to make the contract with the demon. If it is important to you that the victim knows it was you .... yeah do it yourself rather than getting tangled up in the powers
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Mar 28, 2022 20:51
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EmbryoSteve posted:If you use a revenge demon you gotta utilize a "fall soul" for this very reason. just get some rube who wants to learn how to be a dark wizard to make the contract with the demon. This one works but you gotta play it right. The Demon just wants as many souls as possible. If your fall guy realizes he's been tricked, that Demon's might just try for the three-fer. Seriously, everyone's gotta start somewhere, rushing into pacts with the lower powers is a bad idea that ends with a lot of promising youngsters screaming with madness or being slowly dragged into hell while their "docile" imp familiar howls with laughter at them. I wasn't always a soul bound to an enchanted 30 foot tall steel Juggernaught. My first time I killed for revenge, it was with a loose brick. By the time I started communing with the outer planes, I had street cred and plenty of time to prepare since I didn't rush it.
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Mar 28, 2022 21:58
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