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citybeatnik posted:My son, the ogre toddler: *runs off giggling and immediately pees on a rug* At least the ogre wasnt being malicious. 90% of the reason we needed a carpet cleaner was because #1 maliciously pissed on their bedroom carpet when he was mad. We are, however, talking about the same kid that ran around naked for a bath once and copped a squat right on the drat bedroom carpet in MD before i was with my wife. Speaking of oldest. Some months ago he kicked a sizable hole in their bedroom wall which we have not had the money to repair. Yesterday youngest found our Rockband microphone in the loving hole. Been looking for that thing for months.
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Mar 27, 2022 15:23
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The ex finally got around to moving his stuff. It was extremely tense and he was a huge rear end in a top hat. He took most of the furniture, which is whatever, I didn’t need so much stuff around anyway. He was going to take our two couches too but he can’t fit them in his apartment, so he’s “letting” me have them. He got worked up about a box of colored pencils and a small coat hook that I put my daughter’s stuff on. He took both cabinets that I had been using to store her outside gear and wanted to take the rack too, leaving me nowhere to put her things (there’s no closet downstairs). It made me really mad so I threw all her stuff on the floor and said he could take it, he ended up leaving it. A little dramatic on my end but it was so stupid. There would have been literally nowhere to put her things. Throughout the afternoon he reminded me several times that all this was my fault. Today he came to get the last of the big stuff. Before he left, he was complaining about not having a couch. I told him if he just accepted my offer he could buy a couch and this could all be over. He got super pissed and started going off about how it’s unfair that I kicked him out and it’s unfair that I get the kids so much and it’s unfair that I’m ONLY offering him so much money… I said he should of thought about that before he left us, to which he replied “I didn’t leave the kids, I left YOU!” No. You can’t pick and choose. If you’re going to leave me, you can’t expect to get the house and all our stuff and all the money and see the kids all the time. You made the choice to do something lovely, you have to deal with the consequences. He actually told me that I needed to take time to think about all the lovely things I’ve done to him in this past year. Obviously I’m pretty worked up about it. He’s still got a bunch of stuff in the basement so it’s not even done yet.
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Mar 28, 2022 17:11
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Wow, what a colossal rear end in a top hat. This was 100% his fault. I’m sorry you are going through that 
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Mar 28, 2022 17:30
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"think about all the lovely things u did to me!!!  " - guy who left you like three weeks before your second child was born. GET. hosed. rear end in a top hat. At least the number of interactions like this that have to happen are dwindling. I'm really sorry, you are doing an amazing job.
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Mar 28, 2022 17:41
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gently caress that rear end in a top hat.
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Mar 28, 2022 18:51
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Thank you. It really helps me to get some reinforcement that yes, he is the rear end in a top hat in this situation. Somehow he thinks that he is a victim. I did some furniture rearranging, deep cleaning, vacuumed and mopped, and of course less than 20 minutes after I got done, my daughter got out of her booster seat with cottage cheese on her clothes and ran around the house. I’m glad I can channel my anxiety into cleaning.
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Mar 28, 2022 20:10
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Koivunen posted:Thank you. It really helps me to get some reinforcement that yes, he is the rear end in a top hat in this situation. Somehow he thinks that he is a victim. My armchair psychologist opinion is that this smacks of narcissism. Which I don't find surprising.
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Mar 28, 2022 20:39
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It's pretty "lovely" of you to ask him to watch the kids when you have to work evening shifts so you can pay him alimony or whatever. I mean, he decided he doesn't want to parent and you're, still expecting it of him. Loads and loads of poo poo that one.
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Mar 28, 2022 21:28
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I loving hate that guy so much it's unreal. He sucks so loving bad. Goddamn what a piece of poo poo.
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Mar 28, 2022 21:31
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Olanphonia posted:I loving hate that guy so much it's unreal. He sucks so loving bad. Goddamn what a piece of poo poo.  Every time I read The Continuing Adventures of Shittiest Partner, my desire to hear him losing teeth on a curb intensifies.
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Mar 28, 2022 21:46
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Olanphonia posted:I loving hate that guy so much it's unreal. He sucks so loving bad. Goddamn what a piece of poo poo.
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Mar 28, 2022 22:23
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Vorkosigan posted:
He somehow manages to get worse and worse every time.
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Mar 28, 2022 22:39
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D34THROW posted:My armchair psychologist opinion is that this smacks of narcissism. Which I don't find surprising.  Olanphonia posted:I loving hate that guy so much it's unreal. He sucks so loving bad. Goddamn what a piece of poo poo.
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Mar 28, 2022 22:51
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D34THROW posted:My armchair psychologist opinion is that this smacks of narcissism. Which I don't find surprising. It could be, but it's more likely that he 1. Did a lovely thing, 2. Does not consider himself a lovely person, and therefore 3. has created an elaborate thought construct where someone else is responsible for the lovely thing he did leaving him pure and blameless. We call these "cognitive distortions" in CBT.
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Mar 29, 2022 01:27
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Olanphonia posted:I loving hate that guy so much it's unreal. He sucks so loving bad. Goddamn what a piece of poo poo. It's so unfair you get to have the kids so often and its also so unfair how he can't take them on any previous occasion because it's not his fault is schedule is overbooked with naps! Tamarillo fucked around with this message at 06:52 on Mar 29, 2022 |
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Mar 29, 2022 06:49
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I don't really know the whole saga here, but leaving your partner weeks before your child is born and then having the audacity to complain about anything is truly some impressive horseshit
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Mar 29, 2022 06:52
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Tamarillo posted:it's not his fault is schedule is overbooked with hangovers! FTFY
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Mar 29, 2022 07:22
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Koivunen posted:Thank you. It really helps me to get some reinforcement that yes, he is the rear end in a top hat in this situation. Somehow he thinks that he is a victim. Does anyone else buy into his victim role? Or does everyone realize he's a shithead?
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Mar 29, 2022 07:39
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btw did he wind up blowing up the relationship with the person he was having an affair with too? I think I remember you seeing something indicating they were on the rocks.
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Mar 29, 2022 09:50
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My condolences. My dad pulled this poo poo on my mom too when they separated-he took "his" half of the stuff (including the washing machine  ) and put it into storage since he didn't have room for it but certainly wouldn't allow her to keep any of it a moment longer than was necessary to him.One thing my wife suggested we do early in our marriage was talk about the "what it's" ahead of time just to get an idea of hypothetical expectations. Of course it's unrealistic to expect a lovely person to keep their word like that but for us it was at least a good faith effort to explain how each of us would want things to play out if we separated. When I mentioned this to my mom she told me she was so blindsided by my dad's affair it had never occurred to her to bring up such conversations ahead of time so it was understandably very stressful. Sometimes people don't want to think about it because they don't want to imagine their marriage falling apart even in a hypothetical but in hindsight it can be useful in concert with planning the what ifs if one partner was severely disabled or died.
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Mar 29, 2022 12:37
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D34THROW posted:My armchair psychologist opinion is that this smacks of narcissism. Which I don't find surprising. From my own sample size of one (1) Horse Humper that's my take as well. His Divine Shadow posted:Does anyone else buy into his victim role? Or does everyone realize he's a shithead? If he's anything like Chicken Fucker then he either surrounds himself with codependent folks who agree with him or it's for an audience of one: himself. Speaking of rear end in a top hat, he's been on a tear since Monday. We didn't send her to school with 'his' backpack or 'his' take-home folder... because the crap he sent didn't have any of our daughter's info on them. Her backpack should have a tag with her grade, name, homeroom teacher, and other info on it to make sure our kindergartener ends up where she belongs in a busy school. If he actually was in communication with the school he'd know that, much the same as he'd know that sending her with his own folder without the various QR codes and the like on it is just a way to lose her homework. But the real kicker was him hounding my wife on OFW for info re her soccer practice so he could take her. With the threats he's made in the past we sure as gently caress don't want him around either my wife or our son. We ignored the soccer stuff, told him that we'd have his backpack outside our front door, he brushed the bag thing aside and tried to intimidate, etc etc. "I'm only going to *ask* one more time!" Told him to go pound sand and that if he brought it up again after she told him to stop we were filing harassment charges. He's welcome to do the legwork to get her signed up for stuff now that he has 50/50 custody but like gently caress are we putting our son through dealing with him *or* letting him get crap we're paying for without ponying up his half.
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Mar 29, 2022 22:22
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citybeatnik posted:or it's for an audience of one: himself. To this day he maintains he's always been a dedicated, devoted father. He truly believes it despite all evidence to the contrary - his powers of self-delusion are nothing short of astronomical.
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Mar 30, 2022 01:08
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Tamarillo posted:To this day he maintains he's always been a dedicated, devoted father. He truly believes it despite all evidence to the contrary - his powers of self-delusion are nothing short of astronomical. This is it right here. My ex thinks he is a great dad and wonderful human in general, and he doesn’t understand why his friends don’t want to be friends with him any more after all this. He has one friend who has sympathize with him, but that friend has an open marriage and very different views on relationships than I do. The ex’s mistress’ status is a bit of a mystery, he claims they are living separate lives as friends only. He tried to face time with my daughter tonight and she was way more interested in playing with her dump truck. Thanks again everyone for the support, I really appreciate it, and it makes a huge difference in how I feel. My son crawled for the first time today!
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Mar 30, 2022 02:07
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Yesterday's insanity: - I get a call from school that the 5yo has been involved in a "fracas" with two of her friends DURING CLASS. Teacher had to call for backup to physically separate them. Apparently there were some funny faces being made at each other, which turned into mean faces, which turned into one girl straight up slapping the other two in the face, and then it was a full blown brawl. My kid claims she got hit in the face "for no reason". They are all now best friends again. - 18mo poops in the bath for the third time in a week - Stressful bedtime where 18mo screams her head off and 5yo can't sleep because she keeps coughing - Coughing gets deeper and deeper then suddenly escalates to struggling for breath. I call 000 for an ambulance and it doesn't even ring, just dead air. - Husband bundles her into the car and speeds to the children's hospital emergency room. It's croup - Head of emergency comes out and addresses the packed waiting room that they are extremely busy and there's a 7.5 hour wait to be admitted. If you think you can handle your kid at home then line up here - They line up, get her meds, wait to be discharged and are home at 11pm - She coughs for the rest of the night keeping us up - 18mo wakes up for the day at 5.30
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Mar 30, 2022 02:51
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We recently put our kid in "normal" daycare where she's in a class with ~12 other kids and finally got properly sick for the first time ever in ~16 months (still negative for covid  )Wife never had/took care of pets, or something, is taking this opportunity to freak out and overanalyze everything about the kid. Kid ended up with an ear infection due to the cold she had, has barfed uh, 4 times in the last 24 hours, two of those were taking an antibiotic on an empty stomach. This necessitated a 45 minute call with the advice nurse who was very politely like "well is she getting water? yes? and wet diapers? yes? ok cool" over and over for 30/45 minutes This has turned into a huge time sink for both parents. Otherwise, the kid is pretty happy for the first ~5 hrs after being dosed with tylenol and ibuprofrin (as recommended by doctor) /vent
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Mar 30, 2022 06:50
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Koivunen posted:He has one friend who has sympathize with him, but that friend has an open marriage and very different views on relationships than I do. Haha, yeah, like half my friends have open relationships and there is just no squaring that circle with the other half of my friends that don't see that as a valid option. Unfortunately, in the messiness of life somehow the One True Goon Ideology of "idk just don't be a dick about it" gets lost somewhere
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Mar 30, 2022 07:24
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Our kid has asymptomatic covid so is home for a while. We are all now housebound but still have to work and maaaaaan it's rough.
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Mar 30, 2022 13:23
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thunderdome winner
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Chernobyl Princess posted:Our kid has asymptomatic covid so is home for a while. We are all now housebound but still have to work and maaaaaan it's rough. ...or maybe his PCR test will come back negative? Man, who the gently caress knows. I hate this timeline.
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Mar 30, 2022 22:43
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Chernobyl Princess posted:...or maybe his PCR test will come back negative? Man, who the gently caress knows. I hate this timeline. Our nearly 18mo old son used to be so easy to put down for bed. Bottle, rock, and he'd just roll over when you put him down and go to sleep. Last week or so he's been following us to the door and screaming for a few seconds before heading back to bed to scream cry a bit more and then fall asleep. No idea of the cause. Just a phase like all other things in early parenthood, I expect, but still it's heartwrenching to listen to him.
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Mar 31, 2022 00:22
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Just had a home test come back positive, went to the pediatrician and they gave home a flu + Covid test which came back negative, and they told us to treat it as a negative. Daycare agreed. Still feels kind of worrying. But as long as there’s no fever, we are sending him tomorrow. E: I’d also already gone through the process of notifying everyone at work that I’d have to miss some meetings the next few weeks, and started rescheduling things. Oh well. If I hadn’t been reading the boy who cried wolf so much, I might just have kept it that way.
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Mar 31, 2022 00:49
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I think "baby having a random day of fever" is just going to be our sign that she's caught something new from daycare and we should be prepared to get sick too, since she's been congested basically nonstop since she started there. At least she really loves the snot sucker. Also she finally tried to extend her new habit of biting bottle nipples to my nipples. Ow.
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Mar 31, 2022 02:34
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Emily Spinach posted:I think "baby having a random day of fever" is just going to be our sign that she's caught something new from daycare and we should be prepared to get sick too. Pretty much. Our son got sick again over the weekend (as did I a few days later). My wife took him to the clinic on Monday since he seemed to have an ear infection and apparently he tested positive for a coronavirus which (may have) caused a pandemic… 130 years ago. I don’t think I’ve ever been tested to discover which virus caused a cold.
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Mar 31, 2022 03:42
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Home tests are intentionally designed to pop positive (fail positive) rather than fail negative. So then you went and got a PCR. System is working as intended. If the test failed negative, you might have had covid and then unwittingly given it to half of preschool That said, certain (many) home tests don't pick up the new omicron variant BA.2 at all, but PCR (doctors office) does
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Mar 31, 2022 04:02
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Hadlock posted:Home tests are intentionally designed to pop positive (fail positive) rather than fail negative. So then you went and got a PCR. System is working as intended. I don’t think this is correct. My understanding is that false positives are very rare with the home tests. False negatives are not rare. My confusion was that apparently, they didn’t give him a PCR, they gave him a flu + Covid antigen test, which we realized when the results came back so quick. The first nurse we spoke to said we could treat the home test as a false positive, then we did some reading, called back and got a different nurse who said we should treat the second antigen test as a false negative and come back in for a PCR tomorrow. We had to go back and forth with the daycare director a few times about it as well. Edit: I felt bad that I didn’t have any citation about the false positives vs false negatives, so I went looking and I think I was wrong. I found at least one study that suggests that false positives are really rare (0.05% in the study), but if you get a positive test, there’s still a pretty high chance (40% in the study) that it is one of those false positives if COVID isn’t too likely at the time. Hope that I’m interpreting that right. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2788067 JackBandit fucked around with this message at 05:25 on Mar 31, 2022 |
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Mar 31, 2022 05:00
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Monday our 22month old just decided on his own he was gonna poop in the toilet and now he's trying to potty train himself. He spent like 10 minutes tonight climbing onto the baby seat we got for him, sitting down, farting, then getting up. Just on loop. He's getting there.
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Mar 31, 2022 05:41
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Sleep training question for myself: the weakling has a regular night feeding/sleep pattern but I can't get back to sleep after the 4 am feed. I usually fall asleep with him at 9-10 pm so it's not a huge deal, but I would like to put some more sleep in the bank now that I can. Anyone with tips on how to fix that (apart from: don't pick up your phone and read the forums)?
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Mar 31, 2022 06:33
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Home tests aren’t designed to fail positive, but die to their mechanism of testing there is an inherent amount of over-fitting that can happen. That is, it may have a certain amount of cross-reactivity with other viruses that PCR will then differentiate. Home viral antigen testing is new on the scene and there is absolutely work to be done regarding testing statistics. When you’re testing large numbers of people, false positives can be generally very rare but still significant in the population- that JAMA article is a pretty cool study and I would love to see a comparison of false positives during low-covid, low-positivity times and during waves. As parents, I’m sure we’re all really aware of the burdens surrounding a false positive and the dangers of false negatives.
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Mar 31, 2022 11:03
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WeaklyInteracting posted:Sleep training question for myself: the weakling has a regular night feeding/sleep pattern but I can't get back to sleep after the 4 am feed. I usually fall asleep with him at 9-10 pm so it's not a huge deal, but I would like to put some more sleep in the bank now that I can. Anyone with tips on how to fix that (apart from: don't pick up your phone and read the forums)? Regular routines for yourself before bed, shower, wash face, brush teeth, anything to signal it’s sleep for the night. I also have a cup of camomile tea before bed and I find that helps me get back to sleep after overnight wakes.
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Mar 31, 2022 11:44
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WeaklyInteracting posted:Sleep training question for myself: the weakling has a regular night feeding/sleep pattern but I can't get back to sleep after the 4 am feed. I usually fall asleep with him at 9-10 pm so it's not a huge deal, but I would like to put some more sleep in the bank now that I can. Anyone with tips on how to fix that (apart from: don't pick up your phone and read the forums)? I struggled with this too (and still do sometimes, even though we don’t have many night feeds anymore. Sometimes baby sleep yells around 4 and welp.) First and foremost, no phone. Second, make sure your needs are met before going back to bed- bathroom, water, maybe an easy snack. Third, I try to only stay in bed and try to get to sleep for about a half hour before getting up. It sucks, but I’ve found it helps me break the cycle if I have a string of days where this happens. Just get up and have your coffee and enjoy a little quiet alone time. I just get mad and groggy if I stay in bed fighting to get to sleep.
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Mar 31, 2022 12:53
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I get up at 4:30 and enjoy the 2 hours in my house of quiet. If I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep I'll sometimes put something dull on tv.
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Mar 31, 2022 14:49
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