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'dead gay forums' started out as a perjorative Heathers reference but these days I hink it's more a pride thing for sure. I mean it's gay as hell around here and I love it. Where do we want to hang out? *Straight* forums?
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Apr 9, 2022 15:13
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i hate 'em i hate my live straight forums
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Apr 9, 2022 15:13
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Killingyouguy! posted:I for one had no idea about the context of 'dead gay forums' and figured it was that 'it's OK bc it's self deprecating!' justification again before i saw heathers i thought it was funny as a non-sequitur, much like how, usually, announcing "im gay" doesn't connect to the existing discussion, and also they're usually very serious statements being presented to puncture the undeserved seriousness of the discussion. in the context of heathers, I understand the joke is that the father has built up a melodramatic vision of his son which he can have a strong and honest emotional relationship to, which he denied to the actual kid, and which all the adults deny to all the kids in general, because it's emotionally unsafe: real live people can do things you don't want and make you feel bad, but at least when they die you can cry in public and people will support you. everything about the kids is fuel for their narcissism, grist for them to announce their feelings and demand respect and comfort. e: everyone watch Heathers if you haven't, it's wild Doc Hawkins fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Apr 9, 2022 |
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Apr 9, 2022 15:27
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My (21F) boyfriend (26M) won’t stop adding “-ussy” to everything he saysquote:I’m really in a pickle here, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve begged him to stop countless of times with tears streaming down my face, but he just doesn’t want to quit it. I think it’s become an addiction for him and that he might even be getting off of it. I’m scared, I’m frightened, I’m absolutely horrified. I'm getting baby-talk-signed-baseball vibes here!
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Apr 9, 2022 15:29
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Doc Hawkins posted:before i saw heathers i thought it was funny as a non-sequitur, much like how, usually, announcing "im gay" doesn't connect to the existing discussion, and also they're usually very serious statements being presented to puncture the undeserved seriousness of the discussion. Heathers really had boomer parenting nailed.
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Apr 9, 2022 15:32
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Hit the Dripussy
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Apr 9, 2022 15:32
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DACK FAYDEN posted:And we love them! If the Heathers quote didn't involve loving the dead gay son I imagine we wouldn't still use it? Maybe not though, I haven't really thought about it. Personally I didn’t think it was used as a pejorative in those contexts at all? In Heathers the song/movie is a dark comedy where some chud dad decides he finally doesn’t hate his dead son for being gay and I thought for SA it was because it has relatively high number of LQBTQ users, though that’s just an assumption and I could be wrong about it. Context for Heathers https://youtu.be/tk6vqt782H8
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Apr 9, 2022 15:33
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AITA for walking out on my date because she refused to answer any questions but her own?quote:Last night I went on a date with a girl I'll call Cindy. I met Cindy through a friend and had only ever interacted with her a couple of times before our friend set us up on a date. Apparently, the two of us had a lot in common and our friend thought we would be a good match. Leading up to the date, the two of us had not talked very much. Our texts have just been us coordinating the date and nothing too much more. So I thought us going out to dinner and then swinging around and getting a few drinks at a bar after would be a good way for us to break the ice and get to know each other. cindy here sounds like a real prize, think i'ma go ask OP for her number
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Apr 9, 2022 15:36
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Iirc his son wasn't gay, a suicide note saying he was gay was a cover the Heathers protagonists came up with for their murder of him The comedy was that the callous meathead with no depth was incorrectly being mourned as a secretly tormented soul who was never appreciated for what he was in life on account of that
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Apr 9, 2022 15:36
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This has nothing to do with relationships, but I'm just proud of this random kid! Happy story. I got a really good grade on my mock exams, and I have no one to tell. quote:Hello everyone,
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Apr 9, 2022 15:45
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Mr. Lobe posted:Iirc his son wasn't gay, a suicide note saying he was gay was a cover the Heathers protagonists came up with for their murder of him It’s been years yeah but I do remember in that specific movie gay wasn’t used as a pejorative, the butt of the joke was definitely homophobia. Maybe it doesn’t entirely hold up but I don’t remember it being mean-spirited at all. South Park on the other hand, oof. First season of 30 rock is another show that doesn’t hold up at all on a re-watch oh boy. E: also here’s the song from a performance of the musical https://youtu.be/MWtZsnds46w
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Apr 9, 2022 15:53
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forgive me for assuming something awful dot com would be calling itself 'gay' in the 1999 sense lmao i trust y'all that been around longer but it still definitely looks like a holdover from then
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Apr 9, 2022 16:12
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Regardless of the original intent, the meaning has shifted with time and circumstance. The living gay readership of this dead gay forum broadly approves of the appellation. I know I do
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Apr 9, 2022 16:18
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Killingyouguy! posted:forgive me for assuming something awful dot com would be calling itself 'gay' in the 1999 sense lmao It definitely is, even if the meaning and intent has shifted along with the userbase.
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Apr 9, 2022 16:20
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Evil Willow posted:AITA for telling my husband to reject our son (3M) after he told us that he prefers him to me? Lol, I almost missed this one. How dare you say I'm acting ridiculous, I just asked you to emotionally harm our child for a few days!!
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Apr 9, 2022 16:23
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SMEGMA_MAIL posted:It’s been years yeah but I do remember in that specific movie gay wasn’t used as a pejorative, the butt of the joke was definitely homophobia. Maybe it doesn’t entirely hold up but I don’t remember it being mean-spirited at all. Yeah. JD, the guy who orchestrates the deaths in Heathers, poses the jocks as gay to try to make them a joke, but the town itself doesn't treat them like a punchline. JD's plan works in that nobody looks too closely into the "suicides" as long as they're given a story that fits their own social concerns. But the town comes together in a surreal joint funeral to celebrate the "lovers" side by side. Things get especially uncomfortable when JD makes a crack about how the "I love my dead, gay son" dad would react a lot differently to a son who had a limp wrist with a pulse. But then the movie cuts to the crying face of the dead jock's sister to chastise the main character for laughing at the murder and cover-up she participated in. Heathers uses a lot of stereotypes, but most of the big examples I remember are treated in a thoughtful, critical way. The nasty comments, etc. are from characters who are being shown as bad people. But obviously not everyone is going to get the reference or interpret it the same way. (But if you have never seen that movie you should fix that.) deety fucked around with this message at 16:40 on Apr 9, 2022 |
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Apr 9, 2022 16:37
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Evil Willow posted:This has nothing to do with relationships, but I'm just proud of this random kid! Happy story. I was wondering why he can't tell his parents that he did well but as they sent him to a posh boarding school they obviously don't love him.
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Apr 9, 2022 16:38
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really appreciating the critical analysis of heathers ITT. i never thought about it any harder than "whoa, this movie rules", myself
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Apr 9, 2022 16:47
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AITA for not letting my mother in law have legal guardianship of my son?quote:She’s always been doing things that undermine me as a mother. I think she means well and just loves her grandson very much but it didn’t take long for me to start resenting her for robbing me of important moments with my son. I have a feeling that she’s getting carried away as if he’s her own baby so she can play house with her new husband. Lately she has been insisting on having legal guardianship of my son and really seems to be in a rush. My husband and I did some research and don’t see it as necessary (we’re ultra high income, spend our entire day everyday with our child, overall love being parents). Are we in any way rude for not allowing her to have legal guardianship of our son?
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Apr 9, 2022 16:56
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AITA for not considering getting breast implantsquote:So to start off I have had two c-sections, gastric sleeve, and gall bladder removal. I don’t want to be put under a knife if I don’t need to. I have a lump on my boob that hopefully won’t need surgery. Most likely they can aspirate it out. By the way it’s benign. So I told my husband I’m going to see a breast surgeon to talk about these benign lumps that keep emerging. My husband asked if I’d consider breast implants if I lose the size of my breasts. They are currently D. He is upset that I would not consider getting a foreign object that won’t benefit my health but has risks. He says he got a vasectomy for me. To be fair he got complications when a doctor nicked a vein. He’s better now but it was painful for a few weeks. I am upset that he’s making me feel bad about not wanting implants. Am I the rear end hole?
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Apr 9, 2022 17:04
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Piell posted:AITA for not letting my mother in law have legal guardianship of my son? quote:Are we in any way rude for not allowing her to have legal guardianship of our son?  I mean, we wouldn't want to offend her
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Apr 9, 2022 17:04
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Wasn't there another grandmother in this thread who tried getting the parents to sign over their parents rights to her, on some flimsy pretext? I'm not liking this new trend.
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Apr 9, 2022 17:13
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AITA for not helping a guy get home after he crapped himself at the bar?quote:Yesterday I, 26f, went out with a large group of friends for a birthday. We all met at a local bar/restaurant around 6pm and it was just supposed to be a chill night because it was Thursday and everyone all pretty much had work in the morning. There was this one guy who ended up coming that I didn't know personally, and no one else except for one person really knew him, not even the person who's birthday it was. To my knowledge this guy, let's just call him Mark, wasn't expressly invited but someone, we'll call her Tara, brought him as a date. What a lovely situation the OP found herself in 
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Apr 9, 2022 17:17
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Hughlander posted:AITA for not considering getting breast implants women should get 1 free murder
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Apr 9, 2022 17:19
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Hughlander posted:AITA for not helping a guy get home after he crapped himself at the bar? mark just needed a good excuse, like 
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Apr 9, 2022 17:22
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Biplane posted:Wasn't there another grandmother in this thread who tried getting the parents to sign over their parents rights to her, on some flimsy pretext? I'm not liking this new trend. There were many grandmothers like this. They are the evolved form of estranged parents: estranged grandparents. Just like peers of pregnant womens' approximate age starting to single white female them, these overt statements of "give me your child" should be taken as the red flags that they are, and OP ought to use her enormous wealth to separate entirely from the MIL, but the fact that OP is even asking this at all means she is definitely too decorum poisoned to consider this. Evil Willow posted:AITA for telling my husband to reject our son (3M) after he told us that he prefers him to me? I wonder why OP's son hates her. Sisal Two-Step posted:Here's a wholesome one: For once, no one in the story is trying to curry the favor of the transphobes. Nice to get one of these every once in a while.
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Apr 9, 2022 17:27
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AITA for bringing my baby boy with me to play Warhammer 40K?quote:Right now, I am working part time so i can watch my son for the rest of the day. My wife and I tried to make two full time jobs work since she is able to bring him with her to her office, but the stress of doing so eventually became too much so I quit my job to watch him. On the days/afternoons I have off of work, he and I would hang out at home and do stuff around the house, but it dawned on me that it might be cool to bring him to my local game store and play Warhammer while holding/carrying him in a pack or letting him hang out in a packnplay and get to "talk" to people and see some more of the world. For a while, this worked really well, he was usually happy and if he got too fussy I'd let my 'opponent' know I needed to call the game. pack up, and take him home so he wouldn't disrupt the very few other folks there or get stressed out. Obviously parents deserve to have hobbies, but in the comments this guy says that he was staying for 6 hours at a time around twice a week (which means sometimes it was more). Having your baby set up in somebody's business for 12+ hours a week sounds excessive as hell, especially since this dad seems to have cleared having his baby around with some of the other players but not the store's management. OP emphasizes that there were never many people there and that the play area is hardly silent even without the baby, but...so? A crying baby is a more piercing sound than talking adults. And even if the employees were mainly the ones who minded, it's fair for them to not love baby noises for a few shifts every week. I also can't help but wonder if OP was spending much in the store given the amount of time he camped out there. Those free play areas at game shops exist because it helps the store keep people involved in the hobby. If your presence is more disruptive than it is profitable though, it's fair for them to ask you to move along even if they don't have any specific "no babies" signs up in the place. Kids should only be regulars at 40k events once they can spraypaint their own drat ultramarines.
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Apr 9, 2022 18:01
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The Lone Badger posted:If he was an actual alcoholic he wouldn't have been able to stop for three weeks. He may have been drinking too much before but he wasn't an addict and thus doesn't need to go stone-sober-never-again. Alcoholics can quit for periods of time. I'm in AA and there's plenty of people who stopped drinking for a chunk of time (a month, a year, etc) and then they thought they were ok and went right back to drinking alcoholically. I'm leaning toward wife is overbearing in this story, but we don't have enough information to truly know.
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Apr 9, 2022 18:08
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I'm gonna say call an ambulance for the pants-making GBS threads drunk since he probably needs more supervision through the rest of the night so he doesn't choke to death on vomit or something
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Apr 9, 2022 18:08
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Hughlander posted:AITA for not helping a guy get home after he crapped himself at the bar? I feel like I am obligated to help him therefore YOU are obligated to help him because I can't help him! Lol I'm glad OP stuck to her guns.
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Apr 9, 2022 18:13
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OhAreThey posted:Alcoholics can quit for periods of time. I'm in AA and there's plenty of people who stopped drinking for a chunk of time (a month, a year, etc) and then they thought they were ok and went right back to drinking alcoholically. Just seems weird to wait 10 years then start the conversation "no alcohol or I'm leaving" unless the person in question is drinking at a level that it is an acceptable demand. There's definitely a point where it crosses from common social drinker to alcoholic and she's either making that determination or doesn't want to be around when it happens.
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Apr 9, 2022 18:18
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Piell posted:AITA for suggesting my fiancé that we get a house with extra rooms for my mom and my best friend? I was really curious so I dug into the comments because like mentioned, ages would make a lot of sense if this was a teenager or something, but alas OP posted:My best friend and I are both 26f, my mom is 54f and my fiancé is 28m OP posted:They're all equal to me. I can't call one more important than the other. All three of them are the most special people in my life and equally important OP posted:I don't get the silent treatment he just doesn't want to speak to me besides the typical stuff unless I understand his point he says. We still talk but he's very mad at me and will barely say a word to me besides some necessary stuff. Not everything is a red flag. People are just mad sometimes and have their own reactions. I don't agree with the REASONING of his reaction but his reaction is that and I'm not bothered by the reaction itself but more about the reason behind it. quote:YOU ARE a red flag!
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Apr 9, 2022 18:21
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Piell posted:AITA for suggesting my fiancé that we get a house with extra rooms for my mom and my best friend?  pentyne posted:YOU ARE a red flag! Lmao, exactly.
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Apr 9, 2022 18:36
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deety posted:AITA for bringing my baby boy with me to play Warhammer 40K? Sounds more like just that owner had an issue what with the guy leaving right away when someone had an issue. NAH, owner is within there rights to ask and the dude left when it was brought up as a problem.
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Apr 9, 2022 18:38
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Serephina posted:15 year old daughters gathering quickly unravelled! (self.CasualUK)
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Apr 9, 2022 19:20
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coronatae posted:I'm gonna say call an ambulance for the pants-making GBS threads drunk since he probably needs more supervision through the rest of the night so he doesn't choke to death on vomit or something I don't disagree, but if they're in the US, won't that cost Mark thousands of dollars?
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Apr 9, 2022 19:20
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AITA for claiming a pallet delivered in error? quote:Last week a pallet of boxes was delivered to the place I'm living. This was delivered to us in error. The way it was delivered made it very difficult to get in and out of our front door. Tom (M 38) says we should call the Shipping company. Which he did and asked them to pick it up. I (M 26) said we should keep it, and Jim (M 29) doesn't care, just wants it moved. Solid pivot from a basic life annoyance story to another roommate rubbing their hands together while dollar signs pop up in their eyes once the chance for any effort or work is safely out of the way
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Apr 9, 2022 19:33
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Serephina posted:You know what yer right and I have no idea how I managed to forget that, sorry. My friend's parents did almost exactly the same thing when we were... 17? Hosted a bday party where we were left with access to very much vodka. We did get trashed, we also watched Saturday Night Fever and were extremely surprised that it wasn't camp fun at all. Fortunately, no fights broke out, and no-one busted their head on a sink. But then, we'd been sneaking into pubs since we were 15-16 anyway.
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Apr 9, 2022 19:36
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Sisal Two-Step posted:I don't disagree, but if they're in the US, won't that cost Mark thousands of dollars? Yes, but also: gently caress this guy
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Apr 9, 2022 19:39
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AITA for walking down the aisle to a video game theme?quote:My fiancee (34) loves video games as much as the next person but thinks if anyone knows where the theme is from, they will think we're weird and seems hesitant about his mom and sister's reaction. I doubt anyone that doesn't play games would have any clue what this song is. Just watch out for a silver haired man wielding a katana up in the rafters of the church
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