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tokin opposition posted:Asking my professional development teacher how to put posting online since 2003 on my resume You laugh, but I recently got a resume that listed running a Discord server for 20+ people and streaming on Twitch to 30+ concurrent viewers.
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Apr 11, 2022 03:18
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Rev. Bleech_ posted:You laugh, but I recently got a resume that listed running a Discord server for 20+ people and streaming on Twitch to 30+ concurrent viewers.
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Apr 11, 2022 03:28
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he got the memo on quantifiable metrics at least
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Apr 11, 2022 03:44
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Rev. Bleech_ posted:You laugh, but I recently got a resume that listed running a Discord server for 20+ people and streaming on Twitch to 30+ concurrent viewers. best one i ever got was an "Independent Online Model" 
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Apr 11, 2022 03:48
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Strom Cuzewon posted:Yeah, that's how latitude works. lol
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Apr 11, 2022 04:39
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Business Gorillas posted:best one i ever got was an "Independent Online Model" "hey legal, is googling an applicants OF profile a GDPR issue if they allude to it in their application?"
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Apr 11, 2022 07:26
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I still have the best (worst) resume I've ever been handedin hospitality, it was laminated and handed to me by a guy i recognised from when he used to wander around nightclubs doing close up magic and reading tarot to people for tips 
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Apr 11, 2022 07:50
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Jezza of OZPOS posted:I still have the best (worst) resume I've ever been handedin hospitality, it was laminated and handed to me by a guy i recognised from when he used to wander around nightclubs doing close up magic and reading tarot to people for tips he does look like a guy that would walk around nightclubs doing magic tricks and tarot card readings
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Apr 11, 2022 07:52
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I’m sorry that owns and I respect it
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Apr 11, 2022 08:26
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Jezza of OZPOS posted:I still have the best (worst) resume I've ever been handedin hospitality, it was laminated and handed to me by a guy i recognised from when he used to wander around nightclubs doing close up magic and reading tarot to people for tips one of the greatest resumes i've ever seen.
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Apr 11, 2022 08:51
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Centrist Committee posted:I’m sorry that owns and I respect it It could have said anything and it would have been more valuable than 90% of the resumes I see simply by way of being laminated tbh I think there is such a different set of rules when it comes to hospitality resumes. I've been in the biz for 15 years and never had trouble finding work despite my resume saying I was 'an Aquarius (natural bartender)' and having phrases like 'poo poo chat' in my skills section Jezza of OZPOS has issued a correction as of 09:39 on Apr 11, 2022 |
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Apr 11, 2022 09:31
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if you show up and aren't on too many drugs that's the bar for like 90% of jobs
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Apr 11, 2022 10:28
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When I interned at a engineering company they had me pre-sorting resumes. Just told me to make 2 piles one normal and one to be discarded. I naively thought they'd all be normal, but the amount of weird design choices people made. One resume was framed by some artwork, some kind of Egyptian or Babylonian angel type creature done in an emo style, with their wings reaching across the top border and touching tips, and the creatures themselves making up the left and right border. That was the most egregious but there were plenty with floral or tribal frames. Another used the entire rainbow for font colours.
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Apr 11, 2022 10:32
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That dude is a walking liability
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Apr 11, 2022 10:54
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Jezza of OZPOS posted:It could have said anything and it would have been more valuable than 90% of the resumes I see simply by way of being laminated tbh Submit your resume in a format that can't be fed into a scanner so they can't just run it through the resume keyword machine
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Apr 11, 2022 11:01
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Eight-Six posted:if you show up and aren't on too many drugs that's the bar for like 90% of jobs I only give the thumbs up to people who come to the interviews on the correct type and amount of drugs
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Apr 11, 2022 11:01
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Shame Boy posted:I only give the thumbs up to people who come to the interviews
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Apr 11, 2022 11:02
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True enough. You wouldn't want someone coming into work with their judgement and inhibitions all hosed up by alcohol.
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Apr 11, 2022 11:09
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Facebook Aunt posted:True enough. You wouldn't want someone coming into work with their judgement and inhibitions all hosed up by alcohol. Feeling attacked by this post
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Apr 11, 2022 11:24
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Shame Boy posted:Submit your resume in a format that can't be fed into a scanner so they can't just run it through the resume keyword machine Immediately binned
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Apr 11, 2022 11:55
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Failed Imagineer posted:Immediately binned i would give that a guy at least a phone interview on the spot then again maybe there's a reason no one will ever put me in charge of hiring where i work
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Apr 11, 2022 13:31
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Jezza of OZPOS posted:I still have the best (worst) resume I've ever been handedin hospitality, it was laminated and handed to me by a guy i recognised from when he used to wander around nightclubs doing close up magic and reading tarot to people for tips Lol if you don't schedule an interview with this guy just to talk to him I've done this before and actually gotten solid people out of it
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Apr 11, 2022 13:42
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“Do you like crazy!? Well we’ve got plenty of it! And we leave patients untreated except for locking em up so everything gets much worse!! The American Prison System; find your home today!”
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Apr 11, 2022 14:15
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ikanreed posted:Sometimes unironically, though. It depends. You've got to be pretty good with people to guess which ones respect pedantry I had an interview once where they made fill out a quiz, half of which were multiple choice questions. One of the answer sets had no correct answer, but you could see where they'd hosed up their calculations. Instead of doing any of the questionnaire, I filled every blank space on the sheets with the correct calculations and pointed out how and where they'd gone wrong. Normally, I'd never do something so blatantly pedantic in an interview, but the fuckers wanted me to do multiple loving choice basic maths for a job they were trying to poach me for. poo poo was loving insulting and embarrassing.
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Apr 11, 2022 14:38
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then what, you left?
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Apr 11, 2022 14:52
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Business Gorillas posted:Lol if you don't schedule an interview with this guy just to talk to him
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Apr 11, 2022 15:03
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Megillah Gorilla posted:I had an interview once where they made fill out a quiz, half of which were multiple choice questions. One of the answer sets had no correct answer, but you could see where they'd hosed up their calculations. Not quite the same thing, but when I applied to work at Office Depot years ago, they had me fill out a personality quiz thing on a computer. One of the questions was something like, 'Do you consider yourself to be a leader?'. I answered honestly: no, I'm more of the kind of guy who prefers to work in the background. I didn't get the job; probably just as well if they had bullshit busy work like that. It's really frustrating that they're more interested in your ability to tell them what they want to hear than an actual assessment of who you are and what kind of worker you'll be. What's even the point (I know the answer: good little worker bees that don't ask questions)?
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Apr 11, 2022 15:25
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Shear Modulus posted:I assumed they meant they locked up everyone with a mental illness Technically the cops wait for them to do something illegal before locking up the mentally ill. In practice it's mostly a matter of how long it takes
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Apr 11, 2022 15:33
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you don't have to be mentally ill to be locked up in here but
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Apr 11, 2022 15:35
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Megillah Gorilla posted:poo poo was loving insulting and embarrassing. the hiring process exists so everyone can democrats.txt the blame of a failed hire (which gonna happen more or less anyway)
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Apr 11, 2022 15:59
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i am harry posted:then what, you left? Pretty much. We'd already done the interview bit, so it was "Fill this in, you have 30 minutes, then we'll call you." * Wish I could say I had some pithy remark for the HR people, but I just had to put in on their secretary's desk and she gave absolutely no fucks. * They did not call me. Megillah Gorilla has issued a correction as of 17:21 on Apr 11, 2022 |
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Apr 11, 2022 17:18
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Shame Boy posted:Submit your resume in a format that can't be fed into a scanner so they can't just run it through the resume keyword machine I had a guy who worked as a recruiter for Capital One tell me to put stuff in the margins for resumes because the auto parser flags these resumes and they need to look at them manually. This was years ago, and i'm sure that the software they use to do that has gotten slightly better but it's probably worth a shot.
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Apr 11, 2022 17:23
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you can put a "text box" that is shrunk down too small to render and paste in a shitload of keywords that make the computer happy
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Apr 11, 2022 17:35
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PokeJoe posted:you can put a "text box" that is shrunk down too small to render and paste in a shitload of keywords that make the computer happy How do u do this in LaTeX markdown real answers onyl please
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Apr 11, 2022 17:57
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PokeJoe posted:you can put a "text box" that is shrunk down too small to render and paste in a shitload of keywords that make the computer happy Also white text on a white background
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Apr 11, 2022 17:58
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PokeJoe posted:you can put a "text box" that is shrunk down too small to render and paste in a shitload of keywords that make the computer happy If someone had done that, those text boxes would have been a large bank of random words that just appeared as if it were in the regular body of the resume.
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Apr 11, 2022 18:13
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none of that stuff works lol
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Apr 11, 2022 18:14
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Ham Equity posted:I did interviews several months ago, and as part of the anonymization process, they took the resumes and converted them to basic text. Can't win em all. Looking for work is universally hell
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Apr 11, 2022 18:17
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wasn't there some study done that people who played lacrosse where like 10x more likely to be hired due to a fault in the "ai" program?
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Apr 11, 2022 18:20
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If you unfurl an admiralty flag as you enter the interview room you're legally entitled to any job in the company.
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Apr 11, 2022 18:23
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