Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not telling my dad that I had cancelled ''our'' hotel reservation after he insisted on taking my step-sister?

edgeman83 posted:

The number of people siding with the dad in the reddit thread is staggering. Outside of everything else, the fact that the fucker went anyway with his step daughter when OOP decided not to go(on a trip OOP paid for herself) tells all you need to know.

edgeman83 posted:

The number of people siding with the dad in the reddit thread is staggering. Outside of everything else, the fact that the fucker went anyway with his step daughter when OOP decided not to go(on a trip OOP paid for herself) tells all you need to know.

ilmucche posted:

What is OOP and why is it different to OP

pentyne posted:

I'm really surprised that both of them are on board with giving her a week to get rid of it. Unless their friend group is literally a queer hipster woke stereotype quite a lot of people would be mad as poo poo that she's writing them having graphic queer sex when they aren't queer.

Troublemaker posted:

Just writing graphic gay porn about her straight buds who "are both in complete denial of being bisexual!" Talk about living in a fantasy world.

quote:

I usually go out to eat during my breaks at work but I’ve been trying to stop spending so much money on food so I’ve started packing leftovers to eat at work. I leave my food at the shared fridge at work and occasionally I’ll find my food missing. I hate confrontation and didn’t want to ask all my coworkers who was stealing the food, it didn’t happen again for a while but last week I brought food from home again, left it at the fridge and it went missing so the day after I put a sticky note with my name and a note that said “stop stealing my food”. My food wasn’t stolen this time but a few of my coworkers said that leaving a passive aggressive note was inappropriate and that it was creating a toxic work environment lol? I told the coworkers who raised that concern that someone has been occasionally taking my food and I was fed up with it, and they said that I should’ve “just asked” who it was instead of leaving a note like that or that I should’ve just put my name on it without the extra note. Am I the rear end in a top hat for leaving the note telling whoever has been taking my food to stop?

TLDR: my food keeps getting stolen at work so I left a note on the container saying “stop stealing my food” and a few coworkers said I was being passive aggressive and creating a toxic work environment, AITA?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for leaving a note that says “stop stealing my food” at work because someone keeps stealing my food out of the fridge at work?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for leaving a note that says “stop stealing my food” at work because someone keeps stealing my food out of the fridge at work?

sephiRoth IRA posted:

what in the hell is this? I'd say the person bitching is the thief, but with multiple people I have no idea.

Halloween Jack posted:

I'd be mad if I find out my friend was writing erotic fanfiction about me and my spouse, much less whatever's going on here.

The really creepy part, to me, is that she's just deciding their sexual identities for them based on their body types.

ilmucche posted:

What is OOP and why is it different to OP

quote:

I am one of few women in a company that is male-dominated. I also happen to be a nursing mother and pump at work.

The problem arises when I wash my pump parts. For those of you who don't know, there are several plastic parts that need to be washed after each use. I pump, store the bags of milk in a bag in the freezer, wash the parts in the sink then bring them back to my office to dry.

The one thing that doesn't return with me to my office is a special brush. I found a spot in the back of a rarely-used cupboard to stash it, as it has a spongy end that would make a mess bringing it back and forth to my office. Plus it's more convenient.

Once I was going through my cleaning routine and a coworker came in the break room. We chatted politely and when I reached into the back cabinet to grab the brush he asked what it was. I told him that it was for cleaning pump parts, and he was obviously grossed out and left immediately. (This is pretty common. Most of the men I work with are single and/or don't have kids and they are uncomfortable with the concept of lactation.)

The next time I came into the break room I saw my bottle brush out on the sink. It has bits of cheese on it, and had clearly been used to wash someone's dishes. Since the culprit wasn't around, I left a note saying please don't use my brush in the cabinet, it's for breast pump parts only, but use the one on the sink. I just decided to sacrifice it and bring in a new one the next day.

The next day about noon the note was gone and my new brush was out on the sink with the old one. I didn't know if it had been used or not, so I didn't risk it and just washed my parts by hand with a paper towel and brought in a third brush.

The following day I happened to bump into the coworker from before, using one of the two brushes to wash out a coffee cup. I ignored him and waited for him to finish at the sink, but he took forever, clearly just wasting time. He even scrubbed out the sink two-handed with each of the brushes on the sink.

Finally he stopped and told me that anything kept in the break room is fair game, and I didn't have privileges for a "special dish sponge." In my one on one with my boss later I told him the situation and that I was going to bring it to HR, but he said my coworker was right and I should just keep the brush in my office. He said he'd talk to my coworker about it, but he's not this guy's manager, and they're friends and I doubt he would tell him to stop.

I already decided to keep the brush in my office, but I still wrote up the HR complaint. I haven't sent it yet, and now I'm not sure. That guy is a jerk, but I don't know that I have any solid grounds for a complaint. WIBTA if I sent it anyway?

(some context: I had mastitis, a common infection, early on while I was on maternity leave. It was painful and miserable and the best way to prevent it is to keep the parts clean and wash them with a clean brush, which is why I'm so diligent about keeping a brush ONLY for pump parts.)

quote:

tl;dr: I quit
Original Post here

I read every one of your comments and after talking it out with my partner, I decided to go back to my boss and be more direct with my concerns. Face-to-face communication isn't my strongest suit, so I worried I minimized the depth of my concerns.

Before I could even open my mouth, my boss said that there was an HR complaint against me. Apparently, the guy who was aggressively using my brushes said I was bullying HIM.

I must've looked as shocked as I felt because my boss rambled on about how seriously the company takes HR complaints, and he promised he'd try to work it out with me before it escalated.

"Escalated to what?" I asked. He replied before it was escalated to HR. He said that no complaint had been filed officially yet because the complainant (dude with the brushes) did the mature thing and talked to my supervising manager first.

I think I might have mentioned in the last post- they're buddies.

Reddit, I saw red. I told my boss that, actually, I thought HR would need to mediate. I pointed out that my boss and this dude were friends and I had no chance of getting a fair shot at my side of the story.

My boss tried to backtrack and even called himself my ally. By that point I had managed to get my bearings enough to tell him I needed to make a phone call.

I was sitting in front of my HR rep within the hour, and he was appropriately shocked. He suggested mediation with my boss and the other guy, and I said I'd think about it.

That night I talked to my partner and we looked at our finances and the following day I put in my notice. I've already got some interviews lined up.

If it had just been the dish brush, I wouldn't have left. As many people very helpfully pointed out, there are lots of good ways to keep the pumping equipment clean and sterile, and of course I probably always should have kept something that sensitive to me in my office to begin with.

As it is, though, it was pretty clear that my boss is in no way my advocate and while I would have fought for better treatment out of principle in the past, frankly this job just isn't worth it.

I want to thank you all for your comments, even those who thought IWBTA. My last day is Friday and I was considering leaving a pile of bottle brushes in every cabinet out of spite, but that’s an expensive middle finger to a dude who already stole two. I’ll just have to hope for karma in the end!

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for leaving a note that says “stop stealing my food” at work because someone keeps stealing my food out of the fridge at work?
they said that I should’ve “just asked”

Soylent Pudding posted:

Sticking with the theme:

WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush?

UPDATE: WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush?

erosion posted:

I've looked in vain for anything from the perspective of a lunch thief that attempts to explain or justify their actions. Why won't somebody speak up for this misunderstood class of workers?

quote:

A little backstory before the issue: I 36F and my niece 16F are extremely close my younger sister had her when she was 18 and I helped raise her while my sister went to university the dad isn't in the picture. My sister married her current husband J a year ago, ill admit I'm not the guy's biggest fan he's extremely conservative and our opinions tend to clash a bit but my sister is happy so I don't typically say anything. My niece is not his biggest fan and has been spending a lot more time with me.

My niece loves to read, something she definitely got from me. She spends every weekend and most of the summer with me she has her own room at my place. When her mom first got married she was complaining to me that J has started becoming overbearing and inputting rules that were never in place before. Like a much earlier curfew, policing how she dresses, going to church every Sunday, and after going through my niece's book collection telling her that she's not allowed to read certain things. That includes anything having to do with the LGBTQ community, sex, or mythology. She got around the church Sunday rule because she stays with me and I suggested that she send any books that would be considered banned to my house so she can read them while she stays with me. Well it was her birthday a few weeks a ago and J got her a gift card for books she used the gift card to buy the Heart Stopper series which she sent to my house since the book is about a teenage gay romance. She was asked if she had used the gift card and said yes and my sister and J got suspisous that no books had come in the mail yet. They presurred her into telling them about where the books were since it was technically their money and she admitted that she sends books that she cant read at home to me. J kicked her out of the house for this and shes currently staying with me now. My sister wants her to come back home now that things have cooled off with J. I left the decision up to my niece and she wants to live with me now and my sister is pretty upset. J and my sister think I was an rear end in a top hat to go over their heads and let her send her books here. Most of my family is on my sisters side except for my dad.

AITA for letting my sister send "banned" books to my house?

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for letting my niece send "banned" to my house?

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for letting my niece send "banned" to my house?

Foo Diddley posted:

husband: "hey baby why don't you do a lil spin and show my friends what a smokin' hot piece of rear end i got for myself"

reddit: "omg how can you be so ungrateful to this man"

pentyne posted:

She definitely left it out on purpose to gauge the reaction hoping it would make him realize he's in love with the other dude and then he and her could set up rube goldberg-esque plan to make the other guy realize the same.

I'm really surprised that both of them are on board with giving her a week to get rid of it. Unless their friend group is literally a queer hipster woke stereotype quite a lot of people would be mad as poo poo that she's writing them having graphic queer sex when they aren't queer.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my mother she is too old to talk about sex?

tired gay and dead posted:

Is there a pattern of dudes turning into human garbage as soon as their wife is pregnant or are these people doormats in the first place and only reaching the breaking point (of posting on AITA) once they have to put up with bring pregnant and exhausted in addition to putting up with ridiculous manchildren?

It's kinda hard to tell sometimes.

Business Gorillas posted:

I'm just wondering how the I Love My Wife guy is gonna take "I don't like wearing my wedding ring"

sephiRoth IRA posted:

what in the hell is this? I'd say the person bitching is the thief, but with multiple people I have no idea.

erosion posted:

I've looked in vain for anything from the perspective of a lunch thief that attempts to explain or justify their actions. Why won't somebody speak up for this misunderstood class of workers?

Larry Parrish posted:

it's a weeb thing. i don't get it either. it's sort of the fan fiction version of people really into those gay romance novels that are marketed to straight women (pretty much almost all of them). it sort of has passing similarities but is in fact totally divorced from reality.

Bruceski posted:

If Vashti was on Reddit things would have turned out rather differently.

Halloween Jack posted:

I'd be mad if I find out my friend was writing erotic fanfiction about me and my spouse, much less whatever's going on here.

The really creepy part, to me, is that she's just deciding their sexual identities for them based on their body types.

Invisible Clergy posted:

While this is common amongst weebs, it's not exclusive to them. Many women who are not interested in anime can still fetishize non-fictional men they find attractive, like to think about them having gay sex with each other, and insist despite their protests that they are in fact gay, like the "supernatural" fandom with the actors on that show.

Serephina posted:

A person with what seems, after all the rest of this thread, to be a very first-world problem:

Husband [31m] of 1 year is a bit too extra when introducing me/showing me [29f] off to people. I want to tell him but don't know how to do it without hurting him, or even if I should tell him at all?

Bruceski posted:

If Vashti was on Reddit things would have turned out rather differently.

TengenNewsEditor posted:

nice call, big Ahasuerus vibes here

erosion posted:

I've looked in vain for anything from the perspective of a lunch thief that attempts to explain or justify their actions. Why won't somebody speak up for this misunderstood class of workers?

ScienceSeagull posted:

Reminds me of that forum post from years and years ago by an anime fanfic writer fantasizing about having a gay son. She went on and on about how much she'd squeal with excitement when he came out, taking him shopping for sex toys and sparkly dresses, and teaching him and his boyfriends how to have sex (using fanfic of course). Anyone know what I'm talking about?

quote:

I own and work from my condo right in the heart of the city. If I need to leave the city, I take the train or rent a car, though I do have two parking spaces assigned in my building.

My much younger brother’s girlfriend “Kate” took a job nearby and has to commute, but her work doesn’t offer parking. So she either has to fight for the elusive street parking or pay through the nose (all the public parking garages can charge up to $25 a day). My brother asked me if Kate can park in one of my spaces and use my guest pass (unless the car is registered with the building or has a guest pass, it will be towed). I am not close to Kate but I was sympathetic at first.

The problem is Kate has been abusing the situation and giving out my guest pass to other people without asking me. Two weeks ago, I got woken up on a weekend by the doorman. Apparently, Kate lent the guest pass to her cousin and the code to the garage. The cousin came out with a bunch of people to sightsee but took two cars. They parked in my spots but only one had the guest pass, so the other car was towed. I had the lovely experience of having to explain to a troop of hysterical strangers whom I’d never met why they would need to spend hundreds of dollars to get their car back. Kate was not answering her phone. I had the owner of the missing car pushing her finger in my face about how I needed to fix this and pay to get her car back. I ended up giving her $100 just to end the hysterics, but I made the cousin give me my guest pass back.

When Kate finally bothered to call me back, she was “sorry” but wanted the guest pass back for Monday. She lied and said this was a one-time mistake. I told her she should have gotten her story straight with her cousin. She told me she has come down and parked in my spaces “a dozen” different times and there was never a problem.

Kate offered to pay me back the money and I told her it wasn’t about money, but trust, and good luck on Monday. Immediately I get a call from my brother. He is furious with me and called me a vindictive bitch. I was going to cost Kate her job and it wasn’t even like I was using the spaces. I informed him that me loaning out my parking spots was a courtesy to Kate. If she has bothered to ask me if her cousin and company could use the spots, I would have said yes. My brother asked me what the difference was and I told him if he couldn’t figure it out himself, then I wouldn’t waste my time explaining.

Now he is not talking to me. I figured I could weather this, as girlfriends in your early twenties come and go.

Only my mother informed me Kate was pregnant with my brother’s baby. They are trying to make it work but Kate is most likely going to lose her job and health insurance because of tardiness issues. So, I am pretty sure I am going to hear about this for the rest of my natural life.

quote:

Kate’s chaotic energy is distressing to me. I’m impressed by how much leeway you gave her. I get it but wow, what a mess she’s made. You probably will hear about this for a while, possibly even the rest of your natural life. My suspicion is that if it wasn’t this, it would be something else, because Kate was very quick to take advantage of your kindness. So it may be for the best that you got this out of the way.

Should you try to reconcile? Sure, in a little while. It’s worth your time to reach out to your brother in a bit, maybe under the pretense of delivering an early baby gift, and test the waters. But continuing to be involved in this mess right now is just going to cause you strife. Kate has plenty of options that will get her to work on time and if she chooses to give up her job and her insurance instead of figuring out how to park at work, that’s on her alone. This is about being a grown up. Kate and your brother may blame you now, and hence, for their own immaturity, but that ire will only get them so far. Being mad doesn’t pay the rent.

DemoneeHo posted:

DemoneeHo posted:

Tristesse posted:

I worked with a food thief at two different companies. The first place he was let go for multiple reasons (including food theft) and I was hired at the second place when he had already been there for a while. I found out he was working there when on my first day they spent a good 15 minutes going over the incredibly specific rules for keeping food in break room fridge. poo poo like "anything on the second shelf of the left fridge is not to be touched on Mondays and Tuesdays, the 4th shelf is for personal lunches but is communal on Fridays." I guess he was a bit better at covering his tracks at this new place because no one actually knew who was taking things at the time, but eventually he was found out when he was caught with someone else's entire lunch at his desk. All special rules for the fridges have since been removed and forgotten ever since they let the food thief go, and no one's had a problem since. Both of these companies were less than 30 people total companies... I don't understand how you'd think you could get away with stealing from coworkers so blatantly for so long. It was dumb, both places would regularly give us free food and always had free snacks available.

quote:

I f23 found out that I was pregnant very recently, It was not planned and my husband and I are trying to make a decision regarding going through with the pregnancy.

Here's the thing, I told him to not tell anyone but he ended up telling his mom but made her swear that she won't tell. he didn't tell her we aren't sure about it but just to stay quiet. Well, She begged and begged that she announce it on her facebook under the guise of using our permission but I said absolutely not and lied and said my husband and I wanted to announce it ourselves later if we decide to go through with it.

just a day ago I found out she logged into my husband's facebook account and dropped the bomb (made the announcement and yes she pretended to be my husband!) behind our back. I was floored I called her and she said she figured if she made the announcement using one of our social media accounts then we won't mind and it'd still look like we made the announcement. But like I stated earlier, we're still trying to make a decision. I lost my temper and yelled at her which made her cry. I said she overstepped and messed up completely then hung up.

My husband came into the room yelling about my poor treatment and abuse towards his mom. I told him his mom violated our privacy and put us in more pressure to finally make a decision for the baby since the family are now calling to say "congratulations", He said that it was his fb so none of my privacy was "violated"and that I shouldn't have yelled and hurt her feelings and made her cry no matter what, period. he demanded I apologize and we'll talk about the pregnancy later but I didn't give an answer and refused when he tried to force me to go to her house and "grovel" with apologies.

AITA?

DemoneeHo posted:

I do remember that brand of crazy, and apparently this blast from the past webcomic had a copy of the original post. (I should reread it sometime, see if the comic still holds up)

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for yelling at my husband's mother for announcing my pregnancy using my husband's facebook account?

quote:

My(25 M) brother(27) and his wife (26) are having their first ever baby. I am excited because I am going to be an uncle; however my sister in law, let's call her Gigi is basically going through this pregnancy without my brother(we will call him Aaron). Gigi is currently in her 3rd trimester and at first my brother was doing all that he was supposed to, going to doctors visits, making sure Gigi and the baby were healthy, just everything a dad and a husband was supposed to do. But in the past few months, that all changes when my brother would choose staying late at work and hanging out with his friends over taking care of his responsibilities. He hasn't been to any recent doctor visits with Gigi, and often times leave her at home for days at a time, and when he does come home, he basically ignores Gigi. Of course this has hurt Gigi. The sort of icing on the cake for me was about 3 days ago, Gigi was rushed to the hospital by mom for excessive bleeding (thankfully the baby and her are okay) and my entire family shows up to the hospital to check on the baby and Gigi, except my brother. Everyone is calling him profusely, and he doesn't answer. I end up tracking him down at a bar with his friends and tell him what has happened, and he doesn't even seem to care. I then go on to ask him why he is being a lovely husband and father, this leads us into an argument and he accuses me of sleeping with Gigi. In no way is that accusation true, my brother and Gigi have been together since they were 17 and 16. Gigi is just as much family to me as my brother, I used to look up to their relationship and hoped that I would find my perfect match because they were just so good together. After that argument in the bar, my brother left and has not checked on his wife or baby in 3 days.

quote:

Update: I want to start this off by saying Gigi does have knowledge of this post. For those of you who Saif that he was cheating, you guys were right. I won't get into it too much but I'll just say that my brother is gonna be a dad of 2 and Gigi isn't having twins

GI_Clutch posted:

Where's that guy who used to spam that Stranger Things Abort! image macro in this thread when you need him?