- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Wizard noir or D&D noir. But I can't even come up with a joke for the idea.
Longshot of a black cat rushing through a busy city street and under peoples' feet. Eventually makes its way to a townhouse with DETECTIVE AGENCY over the door. As soon as the cat crosses the office threshold it becomes a grizzled man who hangs up a staff and sword then sits on his chair for his first client. A bearded dwarf comes in and somehow the detective immediately knows it's a girl dwarf and is talking to her like a troubled femme fatale. Her brother was lost in the mine and the city is saying it was an attack by hobgoblins. Thing is, hobgoblins leave the body and just take the treasure. Plus there hasn't been a hobgoblin sighting in a decade.
Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 15:56 on Apr 13, 2022
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Apr 13, 2022 13:57
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 23:37
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- google THIS
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Wizard noir or D&D noir. But I can't even come up with a joke for the idea.
Longshot of a black cat rushing through a busy city street and under peoples' feet. Eventually makes its way to a townhouse with DETECTIVE AGENCY over the door. As soon as the cat crosses the office threshold it becomes a grizzled man who hangs up a staff and sword then sits on his chair for his first client. A bearded dwarf comes in and somehow the detective immediately knows it's a girl dwarf and is talking to her like a troubled femme fatale. Her brother was lost in the mine and the city is saying it was an attack by hobgoblins. Thing is, hobgoblins leave the body and just take the treasure. Plus there hasn't been a hobgoblin sighting in a decide.
"I (rolls a perception check) knew the dame was trouble as soon as she walked in"
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Apr 13, 2022 14:03
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A girl and a boy both with beards. One gives eerily specific advice, the other gives unsolicited advice.
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Apr 14, 2022 11:58
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- The Voice of Labor
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moonpie and rc cola in the south
the moonpie is banana flavored, the rc cola is orange fanta and the south is southern oregon
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Apr 14, 2022 23:30
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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"Listen to your body Danny, especially your thyroid"
"And get a job!"
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Apr 15, 2022 10:29
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Attributing quotes from X Men Villains to Antonio Gramsci.
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Apr 15, 2022 15:21
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- frump truck
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hello... again!
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A girl and a boy both with beards. One gives eerily specific advice, the other gives unsolicited advice.
but you don't know which is which???
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Apr 15, 2022 23:34
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- The Voice of Labor
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an illustrated alphabet book of erotic fruits and veggies
autochoke
broccoyly
cucumber
dates
endup
fennanal
garlick
horsecockish
..
poketato
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Apr 16, 2022 01:29
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- RavenousScoot
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Underground baby sumo circuits where they toddle at each other on unsure feet to uproarious cheers
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#
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Apr 16, 2022 02:20
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- midnight_skies
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"b'oh"
(_8^(|)
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Underground baby sumo circuits where they toddle at each other on unsure feet to uproarious cheers
And theres always a parent who's crying saying "That's my boy/girl!"
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Apr 16, 2022 13:24
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Some weird combination of cooking and poker. Like two or more chefs get handed mystery ingredients others can't see while there is a shared pool out on the countertop. They take turns talking about what they're going to make until others call out or at the end they have to make something with the ingredients they actually have and the tastiest dish wins the round.
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Apr 16, 2022 15:18
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A James bond theme tune that starts with the words "James Bond!"
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Apr 16, 2022 16:11
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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James Bond! (James Bond!)
Ahahaaa
Fighter of the Spectre
Ahahaaa
Champion of the gun
He's a master of poker
And hitting on
Everyone
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Apr 16, 2022 17:01
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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A BYOB version of Team Fortress 2.
Also is Cutie Ultraviolence a genre?
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Apr 16, 2022 17:33
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- Finger Prince
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Word around MI6 is that James Bond is a bit of a see you next Tuesday, and there's a strong implication of nepotism and maaaybe a little bit of racism as to why he always gets the plum assignments and nobody questions his expenses. Bond gets to spend a weekend in Marrakech posing as a honeymooning couple, or Davos as a ski instructor, meanwhile agent Rory Smith only ever gets sent to places like South Sudan, not because his parents are afro-Carribean, but because he's "a better fit for the operation". Oh, and M declined his expense claim from Starbucks at Heathrow Airport because "MI6 is not permitted to operate on British soil, and that includes expense claims".
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Apr 16, 2022 17:33
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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James Bond has to spend hours going through online training on Fire Safety and Ergonomics and Proper Lifting like any civil servant.
They're open for a month and if he doesn't do them HR will be on his back. He may even lose his licence to kill. So he's secretly accessing his work VPN using satelite during the night while posting as a rogue arms dealer during the day.
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Apr 16, 2022 18:20
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- Karate Bastard
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Rogue arms dealer spotted lifting properly in suspicious and salacious circumstances outside Port au Prince. Gunfire ensues.
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#
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Apr 16, 2022 21:38
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- google THIS
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James Bond being reminded for the umpteenth time that MI6's quid pro quo harassment policies also apply to vendors, contractors, and the estranged former love interests of shadowy cabal leaders
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Apr 17, 2022 00:45
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- Finger Prince
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"No, mister Bond, I expect you to comply... with SOPs."
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#
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Apr 17, 2022 00:51
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- Finger Prince
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Bond's new nemesis turns out to be a former supervisor who was driven mad by his cavalier attitude towards processes and procedures, requiring Bond to follow a flowchart of his on nefarious design in order to stop his reign of terror.
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Apr 17, 2022 01:01
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- Karate Bastard
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A propaganda video of Russian tanks stuck in mud while Ukranians dance around it to hardbass music.
Welcome the Dumbass legion to the Drum'n'bass region!
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Apr 17, 2022 12:13
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- Karate Bastard
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It is funny because it is really called The Donbas Region, you see.
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Apr 17, 2022 14:25
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- Karate Bastard
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It's only called that if it's from the Donbas region in Ukraine. Otherwise it's just sparkling red dumbassery.
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Apr 17, 2022 15:22
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- google THIS
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Modernizing songs by converting them to metric
And I would walk 804.672 kilometers
And I would walk 804.672 more
Just to be the man who walked 1609.344
Kilometers to fall down at your door
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#
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Apr 18, 2022 02:00
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- google THIS
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Well I'm hot-blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of 39.4
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Apr 18, 2022 02:01
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- The Voice of Labor
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holding off on that until time is also measured in units of base 10
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Apr 18, 2022 02:21
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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everybody's working for the weekend (and in the English speaking world the first day of the next week which is also a day off work)
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Apr 18, 2022 04:30
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- The Voice of Labor
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if I could start again
a million six-hundred-and-nine-thousand three-hundred-and-forty-four kilometers away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
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Apr 18, 2022 05:27
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- Karate Bastard
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Nicotine, diazepam, hydrocodone/paracetamol, tetrahydrocannabinol, 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine and ethanol
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#
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Apr 18, 2022 09:42
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- google THIS
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91.4-60.9-91.4?
Ha ha, only if she's 1.6 meters
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Apr 18, 2022 13:41
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Marilyn Manson sells out in a really weird, unexpected way. Not even ironic.
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Apr 18, 2022 15:18
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- Karate Bastard
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91.4-60.9-91.4?
Ha ha, only if she's 1.6 meters
Spoken like someone who finds the e621 tagging system to be too vague and imprecise.
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Apr 18, 2022 15:35
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- The Voice of Labor
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an older dude in a suit standing next to a younger dude in a suit on a platform. beneath them pistons pound, belts convey, forges pour out molten metal, dudes are doing things with angle grinders and welders, sparks are flying, machinery is moving. the older dude says "so prayan this is the facotry floor where we make footage for music videos"
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Apr 18, 2022 21:25
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- google THIS
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you know the michael buble "no homo" cover of "santa baby"? the one where he sings "santa buddy" so that there's no ambiguity and everyone is 100% clear that he's not gay? ok so it's like that except he's covering "jolene" by dolly parton
Brolene
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Apr 18, 2022 21:46
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- deep dish peat moss
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Modernizing songs by converting them to metric
And I would walk 804.672 kilometers
And I would walk 804.672 more
Just to be the man who walked 1609.344
Kilometers to fall down at your door
It's going to be weird when all the techno goes kilo kilo kilo kilo instead of ounce ounce ounce ounce
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Apr 19, 2022 01:44
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 9, 2024 23:37
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- google THIS
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My milkshake brings all the boys to the meter
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Apr 19, 2022 03:42
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Apr 13, 2022 13:57
