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the other hand fucked around with this message at 02:46 on Oct 31, 2022 |
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Apr 20, 2022 13:27
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 20:29 |
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Jim whispers to Dwight "my balls are caught in my fly." Prompting Dwight to look down directly into Jim doing the "OK" sign. Jim punches Dwight as hard as he can and laughs like a donkey. "My balls really are caught in my zipper," Jim confesses on break room cam. The camera pans down to Jim doing the "OK" sign. Jim laughs ofscreen and we hear the cameraman make an exclamation of pain.
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Apr 20, 2022 23:34
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Jim busts through Michael's door using his head, tearing it off the hinges in the process. Michael jumps back and screams, but then immediately laughs and claps. "Oh, WOW, that's how you make an entrance!" Michael stares at Jim's limp body sprawled across the door now flat on his office floor. This continues for another 10 full seconds, a smile plastered across Michael's face, until a cameraman suggests Jim might need help, and that he's bleeding profusely from the top of his skull. "No, no, this is great, this is the dramatic pause, it's a key component of comedy," Michael insists. "Oh, this is going to be a good one, just watch."
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Apr 21, 2022 02:46
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Jim whispers to Dwight, "Long live the king." As he slips a poisoned stiletto between Dwight's ribs. Dwight gurgles and chokes before falling to the floor. His crown tumbles to the ground. Jim picks it up and places it on his head. The camera slowly pushes in on his smirking face.
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Apr 21, 2022 03:39
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Jim drinks a potion that causes him to talk in an annoying chipmunk voice.
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Apr 21, 2022 03:44
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Dwight asks Jim for a pencil. “Oh, sure think, Dwight. Here you go.” says Jim, as he hands Dwight a pencil (but he says it in a really obnoxious, sarcastic voice).
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Apr 21, 2022 04:19
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Jim pours a magic potion in his ears so that when he hears Dwight speak, Dwight's words become idiotic and nonsensical. "Jim do you have those quarterly reports?" Becomes, "Duhhh, I'm a dummy fart face!" Jim's mentality is so infantile that he doesn't realize that other people can't automatically hear what he hears. Every time Dwight speaks, Jim laughs and announces to the office "can you believe what balloon boy just said? What a maroon!" Jim beams at the camera as everyone else stares at Jim in confusion.
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Apr 21, 2022 12:54
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Jim gives himself a horrible, stomach-churning gastrointestinal disease, as a joke. He savors the way this will soon inconvenience his enemy Dwight. Dwight steps into the bathroom for a moment and hears Jim grunting and straining in the stall, then quickly steps back out with a quick “Sorry; didn’t realize it was occupado.” The camera is pointed at the bathroom door for several more minutes, during which Jim can still be heard still in pain.
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Apr 21, 2022 13:04
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Jim dresses as a clown to commit crimes to attract the attention of Batman. Jim knows Dwight admires Batman, and Jim plans to kill the dark knight to cause Dwight distress. Unfortunately, Batman isn't real in this one so Jim's crime spree goes unopposed. Ordinary police are helpless against a criminal in a clown costume. Jim mugs the security camera as he holds up a liquor store while dressed as Ronald McDonald.
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Apr 21, 2022 13:39
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jim mugs whoever he pleases, really
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Apr 21, 2022 13:41
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Dwight invites the office staff to attend a karate performance where he’ll demonstrate his skills. After an impressive display of beginner karate skills (including breaking a board) from Dwight, Jim abruptly stands up, tears away his suit to reveal a gi, and begins an expert level demonstration of karate agility. When Jim finishes he stares directly at Dwight, sweat pouring down his face, and is shocked to see Dwight cheering and clapping with the rest of the staff. Dwight walks over to Jim and claps him on the back, telling him he did a great job. Jim wanders off, sulking. In a voice over Pam reveals that Jim has been secretly studying karate for ten years, including spending tens of thousands of dollars on private lessons, to “show up” Dwight.
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Apr 21, 2022 15:50
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Jim spends days painstakingly milking mice and skimming off the cream so he can put mouse cream in Dwight's coffee.
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Apr 21, 2022 16:25
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Jim invites Dwight to eat at an extremely fancy restaurant. Not just regular fancy but black tie fancy. Dwight now to dig his fancy clothes out of the back of the closet, get a haircut, and spend an entire evening eating stiffly and making small talk while he feels the eyes of the world upon him. Jim mugs for the maitre'd and orders a bottle of the Chateau LeFeit 1984.
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Apr 21, 2022 17:37
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Jim asks Dwight if he'd like to go to a fancy shindig he'll be hosting later that week. When Dwight shows up to Jim's house, Jim immediately in the lower leg with a shovel. "Get it? It's a shin dig!" Jim cackles as Dwight reaches for his phone to call an ambulance.
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Apr 21, 2022 19:08
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Jim drinks a potion to turn himself into a cat and gets adopted by Angela. Jim is now completely untouchable. No matter what horrible things he does to Dwight, all he has to do is hide behind Angela and meow piteously and she defends him from any of Dwight's recriminations. Cat Jim purrs and mugs the camera before pushing Dwight's mug off the table.
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Apr 21, 2022 21:49
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Jim refuses to witness Dwight preventing him from riding eternal, shiny and chrome.
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Apr 21, 2022 23:19
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Jim relocates Dunder Mifflin to the bottom of a deep well so that Dwight has to lower himself down in a bucket every morning.
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Apr 22, 2022 02:38
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Jim hacks both the iOS and Android source code on every mobile device to cause every web browser to suffer a noticeable delay when tapping a link, making the user think it didn't go through when it actually did. This results in frustrating double taps and going backs, which causes agitation among mobile device users. While this affects every user, its primary victim is Dwight. Jim mugs into the camera of his Windows Phone that no longer receives updates.
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Apr 22, 2022 02:39
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Jim tells Dwight to make up for all the horrible pranks he's pulled on him, he got him an NES Classic. The NES Classic is, of course, a knock-off 'Entertainment System Classic' with shoddy parts and quality that he bought from the internet for like $10. Dwight feigns thankfulness and gratitude for the gesture, painfully. Jim spends the entire day letting everyone know about the hard-to-find NES Classic he gave Dwight. Dwight feels uncomfortable, not knowing if Jim is pranking him again or not.
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Apr 22, 2022 02:47
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Jim speeds through the Tokyo night, his white Nissan Supra underlit with pink neon, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He's wearing a rumpled black suit and sunglasses, a flash of irezumi visible where his shirt cuff has ridden back under his suit jacket. In the passenger seat next to him is an open briefcase, filled with crumped, bloodstained yen notes, and an open flip phone, the last message visible in green and black. We have him for you.
Upgrade fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Apr 22, 2022 |
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Apr 22, 2022 02:58
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jim bites dwight's nipple
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Apr 22, 2022 08:43
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Jim drives about 100 miles south of Scranton and buys a failing beet farm and spends the next two years bringing it back to life. During that time, he also begins training crows to crave beets more than any other food by lacing them with drugs. At the ends of the two years, he fills his beet truck up with as many addictive beets as he can and burns the farm to the ground. Driving slowly, he lures the crows back to Scranton and into Schrute Farms. This was not to destroy Dwight's farm. Jim could do that with some gasoline and a book of matches. No, this was about creating an army of crows to kill the crows Dwight carefully trained to scare off predators and eat invasive pests. As the crows engage in horrific battle, with Dwight tearfully watching his beloved guardians being slaughtered, Jim mugs at the camera. "Talk about a murder of crows."
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Apr 22, 2022 08:44
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Jim drives away, but comes back a few minutes later once the bloodshed is over. "Hey Dwight, this farm is nothing to crow about, huh!?" Jim mugs at the camera, "That just came to me as I was going to the KFC and I didn't want to lose this chance."
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Apr 22, 2022 08:51
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jim returns once again, seeking to make a reference to "making Dwight eat crow", but arrives too late - dwight has left to purchase large quantities of tiny tombstones and sanitation supplies for the clean-up operation jim suspects his lateness is due to the circuitous route he took to return to the Schrute farmstead, and stands racking his brains for an idiom indicating a more direct approach he could have taken
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Apr 22, 2022 10:32
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jim leaves out the most word of his sentence and dwight can't work out what he was trying to say
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Apr 22, 2022 10:58
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Jim convinces Dwight that there will be a Full Metal Jacket themed fancy dress party on Saturday. Saturday rolls around and Dwight walks into the office dressed as private Joker, in full marine uniform with born to kill written on his helmet. Audible gasps are heard throughout the office. Elderly battle scarred men in uniform, many in wheelchairs, look at him with disgust. A large banner hangs from the wall: "Dunder Mifflin salutes our nation's veterans" Jim misuses his power as deputy dogcatcher to arrest Dwight for breaching the stolen valor act. As soon as the police arrive he, Dwight, is led away in handcuffs. Jim mugs the camera. jazzyhattrick fucked around with this message at 11:41 on Apr 22, 2022 |
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Apr 22, 2022 11:34
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Jim convinces Dwight that there will be a Full Metal Jacket themed fancy dress party on Saturday. Dwight foresees Jim's stolen valor ruse and decides to turn the tables on him Saturday rolls around and Dwight walks into the office dressed as a vietnamese prostitute. Audible gasps are heard throughout the office. Scantily clad women, many of them accompanied by pimps, look at him with disgust. A large banner hangs from the wall: "Dunder Mifflin salutes our nation's sex workers" Jim misuses his power as deputy dogcatcher to arrest Dwight for breaching the stolen prostitute valor act. As soon as the police arrive he, Dwight, is led away in handcuffs. Jim mugs the camera.
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Apr 22, 2022 11:41
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Why is the office open on Saturday
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Apr 22, 2022 12:38
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Jim convinces Dwight that there will be a Full Metal Jacket themed fancy dress party on Saturday. Saturday rolls around and Jim walks into the office dressed as Private Pyle, wearing a plain white T-shirt and boxer shorts. Jim shoots Dwight in the chest with a rifle then commits suicide.
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Apr 22, 2022 12:41
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Jim convinces Dwight that there will be a Full Metal Jacket costume party at the Office on Saturday. After the last couple of times, Dwight isn't so sure, but comes dressed as Private Joker, this time with his reporting gear and more updated combat look. Meredith chokes on a whoopie cushion for the third time this week and has to be taken to the hospital. Pam is nearly inconsolable over Jim's nonstop pranking, and Jim himself has taken to crudely scrawling 'Dwight Stunks' on the bathroom walls with a sharpie. Now completely fed up, Dwight barges into Michael's office and has a simple demand: "How do you DEAL with these women and children?" To which Michael responds without a pause, "Easy. You just lead them less." While closing his office window blinds to the chaos outside
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Apr 22, 2022 12:57
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Big Beef City posted:Why is the office open on Saturday For a fancy dance party, try to keep up here Talk about a classic case of dating yourself. Saturday night blues, am I right?
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Apr 22, 2022 12:59
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Dwight seeks out Michael in Colorado, looking to put an end to these apocalyptic pranks. He journeys through the heart of darkness to find a dying fat Michael living deep in the jungles (just go with it) and tearfully is forced to kill him
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Apr 22, 2022 13:01
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Jim gleefully records the degeneration of the Apocalypse Now theme party as Dwight loses his mind trying to direct the event
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Apr 22, 2022 13:02
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Dwight's new friend Charlie is waiting in the parking lot in his camper van. There are 2 surfboards on the roof as he and dwight are going surfing after work. Jim, seeing this pulls a large radio from under his desk and requests air support. A few seconds later the Dunder Mifflin parking lot is napalmed, resulting in the death of Charlie. "Looks like Charlie don't surf." Jim mugs the camera.
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Apr 22, 2022 13:57
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Jim dresses up as Darth Vader and stands behind Dwight the entire day, repeating "I am your father." After several hours, Dwight finally becomes fed up and slams his fists on his desk before abruptly standing up to face Jim. Dwight angrily removes the Darth Vader helmet to reveal Jim's head, horrifically burned, bald, and slick with pus. Dwight drops the helmet and recoils in horror, immediately throwing up into the wastebasket by his desk. Pam screams and starts wailing hysterically, "Jim, what the gently caress did you do?" Jim laughs as Dwight continuously gags and heaves, "Jeez, Dwight, talk about using the force!" Jim mugs the camera as skin sloughs off his face.
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Apr 22, 2022 20:09
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Jim strands Dwight on a desert island with only a bloody beachball for company.
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Apr 22, 2022 21:23
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Jim trades in his functional minivan for a huge, lifted pickup truck, and proceeds to roll coal all over Dwight's Trans Am, owning him.
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Apr 22, 2022 21:24
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Jim boycotts Dwight for being woke. Dwight objects to Michael, but Michael requires that Dwight remain asleep during all working hours.
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Apr 22, 2022 23:22
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In his role as as Scranton’s dog catcher, Jim introduces a local measure reclassifying Shrute Farms as property. The Scranton town council endorses Jims recommendation as part of a campaign to own the libs. Despite appearing outwardly angry, Dwight is secretly pleased with Scranton assuming several millions of dollars in yearly upkeep cost and debt service.
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Apr 22, 2022 23:34
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 20:29 |
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Jim keeps pestering the manager at the Scranton novelty shop to ask if stink bombs are back in stock.
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Apr 23, 2022 19:31
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