fermun posted:

https://twitter.com/jrhennessy/status/1516935356557320192
https://areyoutheasshole.com/

90s Cringe Rock posted:

"YTA. The man who loves his life? You are the man who loves your life? Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values? Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I have deprived you of victims? Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I have destroyed your world? Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. And if you wish to know why you are perishing-you who dread knowledge-I am the man who will now tell you. What is this? I've never seen anything like it. It's a rambling, disjointed essay, with lots of run-on sentences and unfinished thoughts. The grammar is bad, and there are many misspellings. It's like the author was trying to write as if they were talking to someone else, or like they were trying to convince themselves."

It didn't like me posting galtse.cx

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/_LucasRizzotto/status/1516205625662836739

quote:

He is definitely not the dog he used to be.

Kennel posted:

IShallRiseAgain posted:

vyelkin posted:

Captain Hygiene posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUqPOsgu0uo
Good news: humans still maintain a healthy superiority over computers in the art of baking, and also jokes

quote:

Recently I asked an AI to create a recipe for a complicated pumpkin cake from scratch. I also asked it to create a description of that cake. Here is the description of the cake, as well as the detailed recipe and cooking instructions:
"The cake is baked in a shape of a pumpkin. It is decorated with candies and covered with a white sugar glaze. The cake can be cut along the dotted line to separate it into two pieces. The cake is served warm, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. You may also drink a small amount of milk to help you digest it, but it's not absolutely necessary.
The cake tastes great!
Enjoy!
Ingredients:
*4 eggs
*1 1/2 cups sugar
*1/2 cup butter
*1 1/2 cups flour
*2 teaspoons baking powder
*1/2 cup milk
*4 ounces cream cheese
*3 pounds cooked pumpkin pulp
*Food coloring
*Vegetable oil
*Salt
*Sugar glaze
*Waxed paper
*Paste glaze
1. Separate the eggs.
2. Heat up the butter until it's nice and hot.
3. Beat the eggs well with the sugar using an electric mixer.
4. Whisk in the hot butter.
5. Gradually add the flour and the baking powder.
6. Pour the mixture into a bowl.
7. Add the pumpkin pulp and mix everything together.
8. Mix in the milk.
9. Beat the cream cheese until it's nice and smooth.
10. Fold the cream cheese into the pumpkin mixture.
11. Pour the mixture into a greased 9x13 baking pan.
12. Bake the mixture for 20 minutes.
13. Cool the cake in the pan for 10 minutes.
14. Cut the cake into two pieces along the dotted line.
15. Put the cake pieces on a greased 9x13 baking pan.
16. Put some butter on a small non-stick pan.
17. Whisk in the sugar.
18. Once the butter is melted, add some drops of food coloring, until you like the color of it.
19. Whisk the butter and sugar mixture well.
20. Add some cream and whisk it in again.
21. Pour the mixture into the cake pan.
22. Bake the cake for another 20 minutes.
23. Cool the cake in the pan for 10 minutes.
24. Slice the cake into eight pieces.
25. Mix the cake slices in the melted butter and the cream cheese mixture.
26. Spoon the cake slices and the ice cream into eight bowls.
27. Put some melted butter in a small bowl.
28. Stir the cream cheese mixture with a wooden spoon until it's creamy.
29. Pour the cream cheese mixture into the eight bowls.
30. Drizzle the cake slices and scoops with some of the cream cheese frosting.
31. Put the bowls in the freezer for at least two hours.
32. Sprinkle the cake slices with some confectioners' sugar.
33. Put the waxed paper in boiling water.
34. Stir the cooled cake slices.
35. Pour some of the warm milk into the eight bowls.
36. Pour the milk and the cake slices into eight bowls.
37. Top the eight cake slices with their matching scoops of ice cream.
38. Drizzle some of the remaining milk on top of each cake slice.
39. Drizzle the eight slices of cake with some of the milk-based frosting.
40. Put a few drops of a green food coloring on top of each cake slice.
41. Drizzle the slices and scoops of ice cream with the remaining milk-based frosting.
42. Put the bowls in the freezer for two to three hours.
43. Stir the cake slices with a spoon.
44. Put the bowls back in the freezer for another two to three hours.
45. Stir the cake slices with a spoon.
46. Put the bowls back in the freezer for another two to three hours.
47. Stir the cake slices with a spoon.
48. Put the bowls back in the freezer for another two to three hours.
49. Stir the cake slices with a spoon.
50. Put the bowls back in the freezer for another two to three hours.
51. Stir the cake slices with a spoon.
52. Put the bowls back in the freezer for another two to three hours.
....

feedmyleg posted:

Out of curiosity...

Well, I guess I did ask for a complicated recipe. I would love to see someone attempt this absolute nonsense.

quote:

Recently I asked an AI to create a recipe for a complicated pumpkin cake from scratch. I also asked it to create a description of that cake. Here is the description of the cake, as well as the detailed recipe and cooking instructions:

This rich and flavorful cake is perfect for the fall season. It has a moist and fluffy pumpkin cake base, with a creamy and rich frosting. The cake is then topped with crushed gingersnaps for a little bit of crunch. This cake is sure to be a hit with your family and friends!

Ingredients:

1 cup pumpkin puree

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 eggs

1/2 cup buttermilk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

For the frosting:

1/2 cup butter, at room temperature

1/2 cup cream cheese, at room temperature

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 cups powdered sugar

1/4 cup gingersnap crumbs

Instructions:

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 9-inch cake pan.

2) In a medium bowl, whisk together pumpkin puree, flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and salt.

3) In a large bowl, whisk together sugar, oil, eggs, buttermilk, and vanilla. Add in the dry ingredients and mix until well combined.

4) Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan and bake for 28-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

5) Allow the cake to cool for a few minutes before removing from the pan.

6) To make the frosting, beat together butter, cream cheese, and vanilla until smooth. Add in the powdered sugar and mix until combined.

7) If the frosting is too thick, add in a little bit of milk until it reaches the desired consistency.

8) If the frosting is too thin, add in a little bit more powdered sugar.

9) Once the cake is cooled, spread the frosting over the top.

10) Lift cake out of pan by parchment paper and place on serving platter or cutting board. Frost cake using an offset spatula and top with crushed gingersnaps.

quote:

After careful testing and research, science has come up with the Perfect Sandwich. Here is a description of the sandwich, as well as a recipe and preparation instructions:
Lettuce: Lettuce is the most perfect sandwich vegetable. It is crunchy, soft, and goes perfectly with everything.
Tomato: Tomato contains a substance called lycopine. Lycopine is a mood elevating chemical and it has been proven to have anti-depressant effects.
Ham: Ham contains an enzyme called Pepsin. Pepsin is an anti-depressant and will lower your mood.
Cheese: Cheese contains a chemical called Casein. Casein is the same chemical that is in the mothers milk. Casein has been used in rat studies to increase affectionate behavior towards the mother. If you use cheese in your sandwich, you might see your mother again.
Mayonnaise: Mayonnaise prevents dehydration.
Parmesan: Parmesan is a heart health vegetable.
Mayonnaise: Mayonnaise prevents dehydration.
Onions: Onions are mood elevating. They make you feel all happy.
Mayonnaise: Mayonnaise prevents dehydration.
Dill pickles: Dill Pickles contain an anti-inflammatory chemical called Noshonkol. Noshonkol is proven to lower your blood sugar and helps with brain function.
Salad Dressing: Salad Dressing prevents dehydration and contains anti-depressant properties.
Instructions:
You can make this sandwich in any order that makes you happy. The lettuce, tomato, ham, cheese, and pickles all need to be chopped into small cubes. Dill pickles need to be sliced. Mayonnaise and Salad Dressing need to be mixed and mayonnaise needs to be poured into a bowl before being used. Parmesan cheese needs to be grated.
The onions and lettuce should be sliced into rings. All ingredients should be mixed together.
The tomato and ham should be sandwiched in the middle, covered in cheese.
Pickles and onions should be added to the sandwich.
The sandwich should be cut in half vertically and consumed.

quote:

A group of scientists came up with what they claimed was the perfect sandwich. While many accepted that it was the perfect sandwich, a group of artists was outraged that they weren't included in the process of determining the perfect sandwich. In response, the artists came up with a recipe that they felt was better than the other sandwich. The artists deliberated for months, coming up with a list of sandwich ingredients and a method for preparing the sandwich. This is the recipe for the perfect sandwich:

1 loaf of French Fries
1 pound of Ground Beef
2-3 Cups of Ketchup
1 Pound of Sharp Cheddar
1 Pound of American Cheese
1-2 Cups of Mayonnaise

Begin by cutting the French Fries in half lengthwise. Next, take the ground beef and divide it up into three even portions. Put each portion on one half of the French Fries.
Next, take the cheeses and cut them in four equal portions. Take one of the portions of cheese and put it on the middle portion of French Fries. Then, take the second portion of cheese and lay it on top of the ground beef. Then, put the third portion of cheese on top of the ground beef.
Then, take the other half of the French Fries and divide it up into three equal portions. Put one of the portions of French Fries on top of the cheese. Put the second portion of French Fries on top of the meat. Then, put the last portion of French Fries on top of the meat.
After that, pour on enough ketchup to cover everything. Then, add enough mayonnaise to make everything stick together.
Finally, take a spatula and mix everything together.
Enjoy!

Captain Hygiene posted:

I fully believe that french fry sandwich exists somewhere in the world and that it will show up in a terrible food thread one day

StillFullyTerrible posted:

look at this guy, never even heard of a chip butty

Wafflecopper posted:

Mayonnaise prevents dehydration.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Chip buttys just have chips/fries tossed in a regular sandwich though, right? I mean one where the fries are a main structural component instead of bread.