Batterypowered7 posted:

Fuckin'

WoodrowSkillson posted:

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

What the hell does a 39 year old and a 19 year old even talk about?

Defiance Industries posted:

This is where it starts, and before you know it they're pushing whole slabs of fresh dark goose meat up inside themselves. When will the government step in?

Foo Diddley posted:

"THE MAYOR" is probably my favorite bit in all of achewood

quote:

First, I want to say a very big THANKYOU!! to the people that recommend Lundy's book, "Why does he do that?"

It empowered me to instantly recognize what all was happening. There are free copies online, I highly recommend it too.

Second, the story:

After 15 years, my (ex)friend revealed he was waiting & hoping for my beloved husband of 2 decades to die because he thinks he's "the next logical husband"

As if that's how feelings work?!?!?

We were in the middle of a conversation about how he can't find someone that will date him. He's been thoughtful and kind with me for 15 years so I didn't have any feedback about what might be going wrong for him.

Then, he mentioned offhand that he's annoyed how "women keep bringing up that I won't listen when they go on and on about how much danger they feel around men"

Halfway through my response of, "well, men are the ones that murder us - " suddenly his whole personality changed and he got furious, cut off my response, and shouted, "oh here we go! F#$%ing women b%#$%ing again,!!! You know I'm only hanging around until <husbands name> inevitably dies because I'm you're next logical husband and I'm losing patience!! " and during that last word, he realized how phenomenally badly he slipped up. </husbands>

I thought he was one of my best friends, but apparently he never saw me as a person - just a logical prize to win someday when my rock climber husband 'inevitably' has a fatal accident.

He tricked me for 15 years, but now he now holds the record in my life for going from best friend to blocked in less than 1 minute.

Thankyou again to those who suggested reading the book to understand the entitlement abuse mentality some people have. It's already helping me!!

Btw, my beloved hubby and I double checked all his gear and he reminded me of all the safety protocols he and partners use - to reassure me of how he's trying to stick around with me as long as possible. And I always wear my helmet at the base of climbs even when not climbing. We're in this together.

Lol, after a love like this, as if anyone thinks logic is how I'd find my next partner... entitlement is a hell of a drug eh?

Shirec posted:

Instantly ended a 15 year friendship because his mask slipped and he accidentally let slip that he was waiting & hoping for my rock climbing husband to die

Thank god people let the mask slip sometimes

quote:

I was widowed almost three years ago at age 34. You’d be surprised (maybe not) how many men think this way, and feel even more free to be inappropriate when your husband actually IS dead. I’ve lost so many guy “friends” since my hubs died because of it.

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

People who can’t be on time are the worst and you should eliminate them from your lives.

Midnight Voyager posted:

A reply to this:

euhh

Hughlander posted:

nomnomnom hands that feeds nomnomnom

AITA for leaving after my sister kept calling me gay in front of my girlfriend and not paying?

DaysBefore posted:

Why are there so many unwashed motherfuckers out there? I honestly can't fathom going any significant amount of time without a shower. Even a camping trip has me feeling grody after two days.

Like I totally understand if you're homeless or in a bad living situation or whatever else. But people (mostly dudes) who just... don't bathe? Stay the gently caress away from me

DeeplyConcerned posted:

just lol if you dont harvest your own body oils this way. i have an infinite supply of lantern oil thanks to going over 2 years without a shower. a couple more years and I'll be able to join OPEC.

quote:

My (25f) boyfriend (31m) and I have been together for 4 years and have lived together for almost 2.

I’ve met his parents and siblings on several occasion. They’re great and we get along well.

His extended family is very traditional. I was not welcomed to their home. Their family don’t acknowledge relationships until the couple is either engaged or married. It’s not until then that you gain their acceptance or I guess able to meet them.

I wasn’t aware of this situation until I decided to visit his family the first time. He mentioned that he would have to visit some family without me. I felt weird and a little offended about it at first but got over it. We decided that since he will be on this trip 2-3 days longer than me anyway, he will visit his extended family once I’ve left and called it good. This was almost 3 years ago.

Flash forward to this afternoon, we’re planning another visit. I already knew the drill. I said I’ll probably just go for the weekend. He told me it’s not worth to fly 5 hrs one way just for a weekend. I responded with well if I stay another day or two to make the trip “worth” it, I probably would just spend it on my own while he spends time with extended family anyway so I’m good.

This is where the problem starts. He mentioned that it’s unfortunate that it has to be this way but this is how it’s always been and will be better once we’re married. Then i told him that honestly even if we are married, I don’t think I would be too excited to meet them anyway. I don’t have any negative feelings towards them but after four years of not meeting them, I’m okay if I never do. I don’t need acceptance from people who didn’t have the courtesy to meet me after all these years.

He said that I need to be more understanding and that my negative attitude towards this unfortunate. He admitted that this is a common issue and would hate for it to happen to us but all the understanding and attitude correction is only expected from me. I stood my ground as the conversation went in circles. Anyway, AITA?

tired gay and dead posted:

It seems kinda pointlessly stubborn to not ever spend a couple days with your husbands stupid family to make the relationship work over a grudge from before you were married. It's not like they'll be moving in or something.

Piell posted:

AITA for not wanting to meet my BF’s family?

quote:

My daughter is 12, I'm trying to teach her ways of creating and respecting her boundaries that are age appropriate. Teaching her that it's ok to say "No" to things she feels uncomfortable with.

There is a boy in her class who keeps bothering her and her female friends at recess. I've encouraged her to go to me or her teacher when this happens.

My daughter told me a few days ago that in class, the teacher had asked the kids to form groups of about four or five. She had formed a group of five with some other girls, then the boy who had been giving her trouble at recess came over and said he was joining their group. Another girl said that they already have five, and he should work with a group who only have two or three people.

He said no because the teacher had said "about" four or five. My daughter then said that they didn't want to work with him, and he should find another group. A few of the other girls agreed with her. He said that "you can't exclude me like that, it's against class rules" and she said she didn't care.

I heard about this from my daughter first, and the way she talked about it, she had been firm but not unkind.

But then I got an email from her teacher saying she wanted to call. She said there had been an incident at school where my daughter had excluded another child, and that wasn't allowed in her class, and she wanted me to have a talk with her about it. Her telling of events was the same as my daughter's. I felt proud of my daughter for her honesty.

I sent her an email saying..

Dear Mrs. (Teacher)

I'm sorry, but that is not a lesson I feel comfortable teaching my daughter.

She's at the age where she is already having to deal with unwanted attention, and I'm making a point to teach her that she does not have to be around anyone who makes her uncomfortable. And that a young lady is able to choose to spend time with people who make her feel respected.

I understand you already are aware (Boy) has been behaving in ways that she feels uncomfortable with at recess, from our prior conversations.

I think it is a very dangerous lesson to teach a girl she has to include and be kind to everyone, instead of teaching her to be aware of when someone is not respecting her "No" and stepping out of the situation.

I hope I don't have to explain in too much detail why I find this important... But to put it briefly, I was brought up with the "Include everyone" mindset. No exceptions. It taught me to ignore my own comfort level, and as I became a young adult I became the victim of men who used my inability to say "No" to their advantage. It's a dangerous lesson, and no longer appropriate at that age.

Thank you,

OP

She emailed me back asking for a meeting in person with the principal. I'm preparing for that but wondering if my email was too harsh

AITA for my response to my daughter's teacher?

quote:

Edit to update...

I reached out to the parents of the other four girls in the class who were involved, and we all coordinated to go speak to the school administration together. They had similar views, thinking it was inappropriate for the school to expect the girls work with someone who they're not comfortable with, and frustrated the teacher didn't do more to deal with the issues during recess that made the girls uncomfortable to start with.

I ended up asking the school if we could reschedule the meeting to a time all the involved families could make, and we ended up meeting this afternoon along with my husband, another couple, two mothers, and a father. Along with the teacher and principal.

We all presented a united front asking for the following...

The school does training for the teachers on trauma-informed teaching methods and the dangers of expecting young women to go against their best judgement of their own boundaries to be "nice". Instead of "Include everyone" the kids should be allowed to respectfully set boundaries and taught to respect each other's boundaries.

The school addresses harassment in class or at recess and doesn't enable it to continue.

We went to talk, and I think it went a lot better having all the parents join instead of if I'd gone alone. The teacher and principal apologized and the principal agreed to look for resources on how to better navigate the balance between being inclusive and not forcing kids into including someone who is crossing a line with them.

Thanks a lot for all the amazing advice in the comments, I cannot believe how much this blew up and I'm so grateful to everyone who replied with advice and support. And honestly was getting pretty emotional hearing how the lessons I'm trying to teach my little one resonated with other women, whether they're moms too, or have been through some of the same struggles I have.

Piell posted:

AITA for not wanting to meet my BF’s family?

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for the email I sent to a teacher about her "You have to include everyone" rules, saying that was a dangerous lesson?



"boys will be bo--wait, you brought how many other parents? poo poo"

Shithouse Dave posted:

I absolutely would not accept a proposal from a dude that allows this to go on. You’d want to know what sort of clusterfuck you’re marrying into.

quote:

My husband (39M) and I (36F) have 3 kids, a 14-year old daughter and twin 10-year old boys. Ever since her first period, I have allowed my daughter to stay home from school if she is having bad period pain or is in a lot of discomfort. To me it is just common sense and it's only middle school, so missing one day a month isn't a huge deal. She doesn't stay home sick outside of those days anyway so it's easy for her to catch up. She usually just lays on the couch with a heating pad and watches movies. It's not like she's bothering anyone.

The last time I let her stay home, my husband confronted me about it and said that he's not sure that letting her stay home every single time she asks is the best way to go about this. He said that sooner or later there might be something that she can't miss and she's going to have to go out into the world while dealing with this. I told him that I value his opinion, but that with all due respect, until he starts dealing with this sort of thing personally, I am going to ask that he butts out of this one and lets me handle it.

He tends to be dramatic so he threw his hands up and said "Fine, but you know you would be pissed as hell if I told you the same thing about something the boys are going through." I asked him what that was supposed to mean and he said that when the boys hit puberty and things start to change for them too, I would be pissed at him if he told me "Well, since you've never personally had an erection, you just need to mind your own business and let the guys figure this out."

I told him that isn't nearly the same thing as what our daughter is going through and he knows it. He said this isn't about the differences between boys and girls when it comes to puberty, it's about my unwillingness to let him have a say in something that we as parents should be deciding on together, not just me unilaterally making decisions about our daughter because we have the same genitalia.

I told him that he has no personal reference for the type of pain and discomfort our daughter is having, but I do. So unless he wants to try and convince her to go to school when she doesn't feel like it, my decision stands. He said that's part of the problem, that I am just allowing her to stay home every time she asks, and that he feels like I am putting myself in a position to be the sole decision maker on this sort of things instead of making decisions together. I told him he is being ridiculous and that it's just one day a month, it's not a big deal and that he needs to drop it.

He did drop it, but first he said that I'm lying to myself if I think I wouldn't be pissed if he was dismissing me the way I am to him. I told him I'm not dismissing him, I just happen to have years and years of firsthand experience with this sort of thing, and he doesn't.

Mx. posted:

AITA For telling my husband to butt out of things he will never understand

quote:

So I've been seeing this girl named Samantha for a few weeks now, we've maybe been on 6-7 dates. The third date is when I brought her back to my place for the first time. I woke up at 5:30 am to a bed covered in piss. Gross but fine, poo poo happens. 2 days later she spends the night again and same thing. First night we were drunk, second night she had like one beer. First time she seemed really embarrassed but not so much the second time. Both times I just let it go, obviously I'm annoyed I have to wash the sheets but I keep it to myself.

Third night she she came over I asked her to pee before we slept. She was annoyed I asked and kept saying she doesn't need to go. She wouldn't go so I let it be. She pissed herself again. I was actually pissed off at this point. I told her to just leave, she said it's rude I made her drive home at 4 am but I think I was justified. I took a shower and slept on the couch.

She apologized and asked if she can spend the night tomorrow. I told her only if she pees before going to bed and wears a diaper. She got really offended and said I'm belittling her. I told her she shouldn't piss the bed if she doesn't want to be belittled and grow up, if there's a medical issue (which she claims there isn't) then get that solved but I shouldn't be obligated to sleep in her piss.

She hasn't talked to me since. I think I'm being reasonable here

quote:

echnically not AT her wedding but that same day.

Frankly not a big deal to me since it’s not even any of her business. Their wedding was 2 years ago. Which also happened to be the same exact night my son was conceived.

To sum it up: I got really drunk and ended up sleeping with SIL’s sister later on after the reception since we were all staying in the same hotel anyways. The only reason my SIL found out we had sex was because a couple months later her sister found out she was pregnant and didn’t know how to contact me to tell me I’m the father.

We kept our son obviously. He’s 16 months old and the light of my life, we both love him so much. And we are co parenting but also taking our relationship very slow. My SIL stayed bitter at me though for knocking up her sister, her exact words. And for no good reason.

Once I was told she’s pregnant I was fully involved in the whole pregnancy and ready to support her in any way she needed. We are happy with how our relationship is going not just as parents but as a couple trying to test the waters without getting too serious.

SIL still acts like I’m scum when I’ve been nothing but a good father. My son’s mom doesn’t know why her sister is this way with me either. It’s not like I mistreat my son or his mom. She acts so cold when we’re at family events. If I literally ask her a question or make conversation she straight up acts like she heard nothing.

I got sick of it recently so I called her out. She says it’s my own fault she’s this way for getting her sister pregnant. Again I ask what the hells the big deal. It’s our life at the end of the day. We don’t even have problems as parents. So what was she actually pissed about? That we had sex on the night of her wedding, according to her if it had been any other night gone, but now she’s always gonna remember her nephew was conceived on her night. That’s exactly how she said it. Out loud I said: That’s what you’re making a big deal about??”

All this time acting cold to me just because she expected the whole world not to have sex on her important night. She would have never known anyways if my son’s mom hadn’t told her so it’s not like that would have affected her on any way.

What I ended up telling her was the world doesn’t revolve around her so why does she have to be such a drama queen about who did what on that night specifically and why can’t she just be happy she has a nephew? I would get her being weirded out or just not happy about it for a short period but my son is over a year old. And she started acting like this since the pregnancy. So that’s why I said drama queen for acting this way for that long.

Ofc she’s pissed. So is my brother. He agrees that it’s kind of dumb but at the end of the day those are her feelings and it’s not fair to ridicule her for how she sees this. They expect me to apologize to her but I don’t want to. It just really feels ridiculous. AITA?

quote:

NTA. It's not like your son was conceived in the middle of the ceremony. Your SIL is enraged for no good reason at all.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for calling my SIL a drama queen because she was mad at what I did at her wedding?

quote:

We are happy with how our relationship is going not just as parents but as a couple trying to test the waters without getting too serious.

Foo Diddley posted:

wait, having a child with someone is "trying to test the waters without getting too serious"? what would be serious in this guy's opinion?

Foo Diddley posted:

wait, having a child with someone is "trying to test the waters without getting too serious"? what would be serious in this guy's opinion?

quote:

Every summer we take our kids (7 and 9) on an extended vacation to a log cabin on the lake. This year we left early because we have a wedding to attend in July. The cabin has 3 bedrooms. My wife and I get one, the youngest prefers ‘camping’ with the oldest. Third room gets turned into my makeshift office. We’ve been here for just a week so far, 3 days in her mother and step father showed up here. I got bumped out of my office for her parents.

Nights after the kids go to bed were supposed to be for my wife and I….but now she’s entertaining them. They also come along with us anytime we try to do something as a family. Boating on the lake, swimming, hiking, sight seeing. They dictate to where we eat/what we eat. MIL feels the need to be especially catered to, she’s quite the entitled b…you know.

I suggested they get their own cabin on the lake, wife says they can’t afford it. I mean really, so yeah ok have your vacation at my expense. I asked my wife when do they plan on leaving…”When we do.” WHAT? My MIL announces today that the first week of summer her son, his wife and their child will be joining us in our cabin. I flippantly said, “Oh great, my wife and I can just sleep on the lawn so they can take our bedroom.” She said, “Don’t be silly, the girls can sleep with their mom and you can take the couch.”

I asked my wife today to make them go home, tell her brother to go on his own vacation. She said that was totally rude of me to even think that. I then asked my wife WHY would she invite her family behind my back like this. She claims she did no such thing, I only believe her cause she seems a bit irritated too but wouldn’t tell me that. Says she gave them the address in case of an emergency and they thought this would be some huge rear end surprise. Well, I wouldn’t be anymore surprised if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet.

sootikins posted:

pretty sure this is a creative writing exercise but lol nevertheless

AITA for telling a girl I'm seeing she needs to wear a diaper or she can't sleep at my place?

Jokerpilled Drudge posted:

So the wedding party isn't supposed to make passes at each other?

Cacator posted:

Piss in my bed once, shame on you. Piss on my bed twice, shame on me. Piss on my bed three times... Um...

Numbuh 212 posted:

Man, I haven't thought about this story in ages! Thanks for the reminder, I'm cracking up all over again.

Foo Diddley posted:

wait, having a child with someone is "trying to test the waters without getting too serious"? what would be serious in this guy's opinion?

mediaphage posted:

i mean they hooked up with no plans for anything more. now they have a kid so they're trying to navigate whether they're up for a serious romantic relationship in addition to coparenting. imo that's a pretty healthy way to do it rather than just deciding "welp we're together now" because they have a kid

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for telling my wife her family needs to go home?

quote:

I had to clear the original post to make room for an update

First thank you people of Reddit for giving me the confidence I needed. Tonight the poo poo hit fan. This evening we mutually agreed to let them finish out the week. They’d go back home over the weekend. Absolutely no brother and his family. I was alright with the plan and was going to tolerate things peacefully. My wife knowing how pissy I’ve been, had the idea of using the in laws while they’re here (I know that sounds bad).

We got dressed, came downstairs and told the in laws they got babysitting duty tonight. Wife and I were just about heading out when dearest MIL says, “Oh Frank and I are actually going out tonight.” The hell you aren’t. The ENTIRE time since they got here they have been up my rear end so far they tied an actual knot in my stomach. They weren’t even ready! What old people go out after 7pm? (Sorry it’s just them, old people are awesome). And Frank’s face said it all, like this bro was completely left in the dark. No idea what his wife was even talking about. This dude was already half asleep, 23 minutes past his bedtime.

So yeah, I looked at my frustrated wife and said listen y’all gotta go. You weren’t invited, you’ve been cramping our style since you showed up dictating what we do, what we eat and even when I can piss. Poor Frank looked relieved, just wants to go home to his recliner and stuff the cotton back in his ears. MIL threw a loud tantrum, “WELL LETS PACK OUR BAGS FRANK, ITS APPARENT WE ARENT WELCOMED HERE. Uhh well you weren’t invited!!! This lady marching up the stairs like a caveman…”I JUST WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH MY GRANDBABIES.”

So they’re like 70% packed. I told my wife to tell them to go in the morning because I didn’t want it on my conscious if they tried driving through the night and wrecked…or ended up lost in the swamp trying to find the bates motel. Anyways, I need a drink.

sootikins posted:

pretty sure this is a creative writing exercise but lol nevertheless

AITA for telling a girl I'm seeing she needs to wear a diaper or she can't sleep at my place?

Combo posted:

What the gently caress are weddings even for if you're single then? If you're single and part of the wedding party you're supposed to gently caress SOMEONE, no?