r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Blastedhellscape: Jan 1, 2008

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for wanting my partner to help pay for birth control

I like these posts where the subject just comes off as more and more terrible with each new sentence. I keep thinking that James can't get any worse, and then he tops himself.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 20:30

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# ? May 30, 2024 21:46

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for not telling my partner that I was seeing other people?

quote:

nsfw
On Mobil! Sorry!

Background story: I (25f) matched with "Tom" (26m) on tinder and we hit it off pretty well. He asked me what I wanted and I told him I wasn't interested in anything serious. After talking for a bit, we decided to meet up. He did tell me he was seeing 2 other females but they were exclusively seeing him. I didn't care. I asked him if he was being safe and he said yes. I mentioned to him I was seeing other people here and there but nothing was serious but I did get tested for STDs (after and before new partners) and for COVID every two weeks and if he wanted to see my results. He said he no, it was ok. The first time I hooked up with Tom I told him he had to wear a condom even though I was on the pill. I also got tested a week before and then 3 weeks after and came out clean.

Yesterday I sent him a dirty text and we were just texting each other and he said something like "I'm the only man for you." I was kind of caught off guard so I asked him what he meant. He then asked me if I was seeing anyone at the moment and I said no. And he says "good. I only want you to myself." I was a bit confused so I asked him if he was still seeing other girls and he said yes. I asked him why was it ok for him to see other girls but I couldn't be with other guys and he said, "because most women are more monogamous." Somewhere in the conversation he asked me if I had sex with someone else while I was seeing him. I said one person but I stopped seeing him a week or so after I first went out with Tom.

Tom got angry and said he was disappointed in me for lying to him and now he had to get tested for STD's. Then he went on and on about how I put him and his other partners at risk. I told him I was sorry and I didn't mean to lie to him. But I reassured him that the last time I saw the other guy was in January and I got tested and it was fine. I also told him I would get tested again. He told me he didn't trust me anymore and we needed to take a break until he got tested.

AITA for not telling my partner I was hooking up with one other person in the beginning?

Most women are more monogamous = BIO TRUTHS I AM A MAN I need multiple women!

LOL that the dude having multiple sexual partners is mad he needs to get tested.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 20:36

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for telling my boyfriend he should use soap?

Dude run, you'll never be happy with a SOAPSCOLD

# ? Apr 27, 2022 20:38

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

Everyone in every story is 50% uglier and 30% larger than you�re picturing them.

This is not exactly true.

I didn't write EVERY story here....

# ? Apr 27, 2022 20:38

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for not postponing my wedding ceremony a few minutes so MIL could see?

quote:

We decided to have a phone free wedding reception, mostly because my mom and a couple people on my side are social media addicts and I did not want anyone live posting from the wedding, or blocking my expensive photographer to get a lovely cellphone picture. After reading about the concept online I decided to do an unplugged ceremony and have everyone put their phone in a basket before they were seated.

Well MIL rose hell. MIL isn't even that into her phone, but is the type who if there is any rule she just has to break it. my husband tried explaining why it was important to her. My mom tried reasoning with how about how it is our day and just follow the rules for once, but MIL was irate. She said if she couldn't have it it was going in her husband's car because we had no right to touch it.

Our venue was a family friend's house which was gorgeous, but since it wasn't a traditional venue the parking kind of sucked, and MIL had been one of the last to show up anyway, so her car was pretty far away (maybe 7 minute walk one way, she was in heels so maybe a little more) This was right at the time the ceremony was ready to start, so my wedding planned let me know the situation and asked what I wanted to do. I said we weren't waiting for her. We started right on time and MIL returned a little more than half way through.

My husband was sad but alright with it. He is very afraid that it is going to get to the point that to be the best husband he can, he will have to go no contact or at least temporarily, so while it made him sad, he is ok with me putting her in her place as needed. After the wedding multiple people on his side told us what assholes we were for not waiting when she wasn't gone that long. MIL claims she doesn't care but is still mad about the phone thing and saying she will never step foot in our new house if we are going to go on power trips like that. This has caused a big rift between my husband and his sister though so I was wondering if I went too far.

ETA- the information was on the wedding website, which to be fair she probably didn't read because as the MOG she knew most of that information. She was warned that we would be starting on time.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 20:44

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not postponing my wedding ceremony a few minutes so MIL could see?

wow a stupid rule resulted in a stupid situation

# ? Apr 27, 2022 20:47

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Body positivity is when I tell you what you’re allowed to wear

# ? Apr 27, 2022 20:47

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

hawowanlawow posted:

wow a stupid rule resulted in a stupid situation

It seems pretty reasonable to me tbh, especially the part about the wedding photographer

# ? Apr 27, 2022 20:58

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Yeah it�s not uncommon to tell people to leave things to the professional at weddings

MIL was probably trying to deliberately delay the ceremony as a power move and it blew up in her face

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:00

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not postponing my wedding ceremony a few minutes so MIL could see?

quote:

so while it made him sad, he is ok with me putting her in her place as needed

lol, get wrecked mom

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:02

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

they're making adults put their phones in a basket, he married his mom lol

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:06

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not telling my partner that I was seeing other people?

Most women are more monogamous = BIO TRUTHS I AM A MAN I need multiple women!

LOL that the dude having multiple sexual partners is mad he needs to get tested.

I'll never understand how people this dumb somehow convince other people to gently caress them.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:13

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

therattle posted:

You�re the clear rear end in a top hat for reposting a story which was posted here not very long ago and which generated a fair amount of discussion!

seriously i swear to god i searched this thread for keywords like raisin and thanksgiving

god drat it

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:23

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Forums search doesn�t seem to look inside quote tags, which makes it very bad at searching this thread in particular

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:26

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Mustang posted:

I'll never understand how people this dumb somehow convince other people to gently caress them.

But replace 'fish' with 'idiot'

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:27

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

haveblue posted:

Forums search doesn�t seem to look inside quote tags, which makes it very bad at searching this thread in particular

boo

in recompense, unless i somehow missed this one, too

a coworker who I referred to a job is demanding I share my referral bonus with him

aam posted:

A couple of months ago, I bumped into a former coworker, Fergus, from my previous company. We chatted for a few minutes and he mentioned he�d recently started a job search because he felt he was underpaid in his current role. He volunteered his salary, which was shockingly low. I did not comment on his salary, but when he asked how I liked my current employer (which is a big name in our field), I told him honestly that I really enjoyed the work and culture. Because I had nothing but good experiences working with him, I told him that I�d be happy to submit his resume through our internal referral program if he found a position that piqued his interest.

A few days later, he reached out through LinkedIn and sent me a job posting he was interested in. It was a very similar role to what he�d been doing and I was confident in his success. I disclosed that I�d get a bonus if he was hired from my referral and informed him that he could apply cold if he preferred. He replied that he knew a referral would give him better chances, so I went ahead and submitted it. He did wonderfully in the interviews and was hired. He sent me a thank-you note after he was hired and disclosed that he�d gotten a massive pay bump (which is what I�d expected after he�d told me his salary).

I took him to lunch on his first day (my treat). During lunch, he asked me how I wanted to send him �his half� of my referral bonus. I explained that�s not how it works, and he acted shocked. He accused me of getting all the benefits with none of the work and said it wasn�t fair for me to get paid for doing nothing. I just told him that�s how the referral program works, and his benefit was the new job and salary. I also encouraged him to refer qualified former colleagues for jobs at our company so he could get the bonus. He scoffed and refused to engage in any other topic for the rest of lunch. Since then, he�s behaved absolutely icily on the rare occasions we are near each other. We do not work in the same department, fortunately.

Am I wrong to not share my bonus with him? I checked with a few colleagues and they all say they�ve never shared, but a few told me I should just split it with him to calm him down.

thanks for the job, now give me your bonus

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:45

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

mediaphage posted:

a coworker who I referred to a job is demanding I share my referral bonus with him

thanks for the job, now give me your bonus

classic case of "I saw some money and decided it's mine"

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:50

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

How the hell do you not understand how a referral bonus works? He REFERED you and now he gets a bonus for it. It's in the name.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 21:55

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

What the hell does a 39 year old and a 19 year old even talk about?

She seems to have the mentality of a 17 year old so a lot probably

# ? Apr 27, 2022 22:07

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Does he think it's like a bank/pay service referral where each person gets a payment in their account?

# ? Apr 27, 2022 22:08

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

mediaphage posted:

a coworker who I referred to a job is demanding I share my referral bonus with him

He accused me of getting all the benefits with none of the work and said it wasn’t fair for me to get paid for doing nothing.

How dare he think he gets the whole referral bonus when he did nothing for it! It isn't like he told me about the job and then put in my application for me while vouching for my skills. The greed of some people....

# ? Apr 27, 2022 22:08

Remulak: Jun 8, 2001; I can't count to four.; Yams Fan

I'll take the new hire out to lunch and pay for it out of the bonus (if I like them) but drat if I'm doing anything else.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 22:53

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

If I knew the friend was hurting for money and we were close I'd probably split it with them but that conversation would have happened long before I got the money.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 22:56

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

deety posted:

AITA for still not wanting to associate with my terminally ill sister because of a poor (and life-lasting) prank?

In the long run it doesn't matter if the girls got switched, but if I was OP, that poo poo would haunt me, too.

You don't know how you'll feel till it happens, but my gut is "Oh, well, you're Suzette now, whoever you used to be." It used to be pretty common for hospitals to tattoo a dot on the heel or something.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:20

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

deety posted:

AITA for still not wanting to associate with my terminally ill sister because of a poor (and life-lasting) prank?

Yet another "prankster" who decided to jab at something they knew would be stressful. Even if the sister had been more careful about keeping track of which kid was which, she'd still be a special kind of rear end in a top hat to think it's super fun to make a sleep-deprived new parent mix up identical twins.

In the long run it doesn't matter if the girls got switched, but if I was OP, that poo poo would haunt me, too.

I'm not gonna lie. I was expecting one of the twins to have a condition and the sister taking the name tags off made it so the baby couldn't get the necessary care in time.

If the OP is that worried, they can just lop off one of the kids' arms and count the rings or some poo poo to figure out which one is older, right?

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:22

Tsietisin: Jul 2, 2004; Time passes quickly on the weekend.

I split a referral bonus once. But that was mostly because my friends came to me and said that he was applying for a role in my place, would it be okay to put my name down as a referrer.

I was done with it and did nothing else at all in relation to his application. Almost seemed rude not to give him half after that.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:24

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

You don't know how you'll feel till it happens, but my gut is "Oh, well, you're Suzette now, whoever you used to be." It used to be pretty common for hospitals to tattoo a dot on the heel or something.

I'm a near-identical twin and some people have been oddly obsessed with the idea that we were mixed up at birth. There's no divine anchor between a name and its true owner, if I was supposed to be Rollo but get called Smedley, "me" stays the same. It's my name now.

It's right up there with people who have sincerely asked "do you ever get confused about which one you are". As if looking similar to someone means I have no concept of self.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:33

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Bruceski posted:

I'm a near-identical twin and some people have been oddly obsessed with the idea that we were mixed up at birth. There's no divine anchor between a name and its true owner, if I was supposed to be Rollo but get called Smedley, "me" stays the same. It's my name now.

It would confer you a certain level of protection from spells, hexes, and curses as the caster would not know your True Name.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:34

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Yeah I mean at this point just pick one and say they're the oldest and if you're wrong oh well cause it's literally unknowable.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:35

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Batterypowered7 posted:

It would confer you a certain level of protection from spells, hexes, and curses as the caster would not know your True Name.

I'm Jewish, so that's already the case. My "real name" is only used when called to the Torah.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:36

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

If you were switched at birth that means you have a double hidden name and even more protection.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:37

deety: Aug 2, 2004; zombies + sharks = fun

Bruceski posted:

I'm a near-identical twin and some people have been oddly obsessed with the idea that we were mixed up at birth. There's no divine anchor between a name and its true owner, if I was supposed to be Rollo but get called Smedley, "me" stays the same. It's my name now.

Ok but what if you were in that other twin story and born as Annabella but had to make it through middle/high school saddled with the name Annalia?

Not that either of those poor girls deserves that, but it might sting a little more if it wasn't supposed to be you.

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:41

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Well yea the name anxiety is rooted in something hosed up like how they are obsessed with who the first child was and the actual real world implications they believe exist because of this. :psyduck:

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:48

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

First is worst!

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:49

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Second is best

# ? Apr 27, 2022 23:52

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Halloween Jack posted:

Yeah, it's funny that Dad has a problem with Annabella and not Annalia.

People can name their kids what they want, but they should have realistic expectations about stuff like "I'm going to name her X and she's going to go by nickname Y, and she's going to love it and go by that her whole life. Also she and her sister will wear matching outfits every day until they die." Your kid might prefer Anna to Bella, and they might see themselves as humans and not a walking photo op.

Our second kid's given names have the same initial, because we thought it would be cool to go by the initials. Her names are space themed - the first one is pretty unusual but the second is a 'normal' name if she ever decides she doesn't like the first one.

Naturally, we mostly call her by a nonsense word nickname that was accidently made up in her first week of life and just stuck. I could probably count the number of times I've used her actual name with her on two hands.

# ? Apr 28, 2022 00:11

darkwasthenight: Jan 7, 2011; GENE TRAITOR

Much like cats, babies don't give a poo poo what you call them but respond to your tone of voice. Feel free to change the name if you get bored and as long as they aren't talking yet you're probably good.

# ? Apr 28, 2022 00:23

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Elissimpark posted:

Naturally, we mostly call her by a nonsense word nickname that was accidently made up in her first week of life and just stuck. I could probably count the number of times I've used her actual name with her on two hands.

My social group's nickname for a friend's kid is Raptor completely based on a joke before she was born. She's in high school now, I have no clue how she feels about it or if anyone still calls her that within earshot.

# ? Apr 28, 2022 00:37

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

Bruceski posted:

My social group's nickname for a friend's kid is Raptor completely based on a joke before she was born. She's in high school now, I have no clue how she feels about it or if anyone still calls her that within earshot.

That's kind of the same story as why one of my friends' kids is nicknamed "Zardoz"

# ? Apr 28, 2022 00:39

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# ? May 30, 2024 21:46

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

Well yea the name anxiety is rooted in something hosed up like how they are obsessed with who the first child was and the actual real world implications they believe exist because of this.

There are real world consequences for some cultures. Your name, your role in the family, in society, rituals you're supposed to complete, all based on birth order. I'm most familiar with this in African societies, but it wouldn't surprise me if it's known elsewhere.

Just an example:

"The Power of a Name posted:

Twins are so important in West African societies � for good or ill � that they interrupt this ordinal naming scheme when they come into a family. Most ethnic groups have special predefined names for each twin, as well as special names for the children born after the twins.

The Yoruba name the first born twin Taiwo, the second being Kehinde. The child born after the twins is named Idowu, and the one after that is Alaba.

Akan parents call their female twins Ataa and their male twins Ata. The children after the twins are called, in order, Nyankomago, Atuakɔsεn, Abobakorowa and Damusaa.

Answer to whether it matters if one twin dies:

quote:

In traditional Yoruba culture, the deceased Kehinde is still considered to be �alive� in a way, or at least have a strong presence in the family: he is cared for just like his live twin (fed, washed, carried, put to bed) through an ere ibeji � a sculpted figurine acting as a surrogate body for the twin�s soul. (See our post on twins.)

So when asked �where is Kehinde?�, the mother can point to the figurine and say �here he is.� Everyone would, of course, understand that the Kehinde died at some point, but the answer does not have to be blunt.

In traditional Yoruba culture, twins are considered minor deities, Orishas. Refusing to give a twin his appropriate name because the other died at birth would likely be considered the unethical decision (and would quite possibly bring misfortune to the family).

It may not matter to many of us on the forums, but it may be very important to the family and their community.

# ? Apr 28, 2022 00:39

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