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Renegret posted:I don't make a habit of psychoanalyzing people on the internet but on a high level, this reads like someone learned the hard way that they didn't actually want kids. And, well, there's really only one way to solve that problem and (attempt to) save face. I too don’t want to psychoanalyze but I wonder if this dude has ADHD (forgetting to put cap on toothpaste) or some kind of hormonal issue (a previous post mentioned boner pills). None of it excuses any of his awful behavior, but I am very curious.
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May 2, 2022 18:10
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nachos posted:I too don’t want to psychoanalyze but I wonder if this dude has ADHD (forgetting to put cap on toothpaste) or some kind of hormonal issue (a previous post mentioned boner pills). None of it excuses any of his awful behavior, but I am very curious. No, there are just a lot of men in our society that have never had to clean up or manage themselves or a household on their own so they assume (either consciously or not) their spouse is going to keep filling the role of their parents. And shocker alert! Most women don't want to be somebody else's mom.
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May 2, 2022 18:56
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The trash thing I sort of get. Sometimes you see the trash is full, but your arms are full of kids* and you can't take the trash out right now. Then you get busy with the kids thing and forget about the trash. But toothpaste? The tube and cap are right there. You can't "forget" to put the cap on, you're just walking away from it. * OK, so this never happened to him.
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May 2, 2022 19:56
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D34THROW posted:Yeah, but that could also just be him wanting to save face with his family, or not let Koivunen win or some such bullshit. My wife's best friend is in the midst of a lovely divorce where her ex is pulling the same kind of poo poo - just involved enough to say he's Yeah this is basically what Horsehumper is up to. It's about him not losing.
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May 2, 2022 22:42
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nachos posted:I too don’t want to psychoanalyze but I wonder if this dude has ADHD (forgetting to put cap on toothpaste) or some kind of hormonal issue (a previous post mentioned boner pills). None of it excuses any of his awful behavior, but I am very curious. You are right, he does have ADD, and I made a lot of excuses to myself for dismissing some behaviors. He takes adderall, but that’s a whole nother story. He is prescribed a certain dose, but only takes it when he feels he needs it, and he takes apart the capsules and dumps all the tiny beads into a pill container, then guesstimates a dose from there. It’s XR so it’s not like he’s snorting it, but he will take it for work or if there’s something he needs to concentrate for. That was a big issue… why not take the prescribed dose every day so you can be present in the lives of your wife and kids… Why save it for “special occasions?” He got really big into nicotine gum in the few months before we separated, I’m sure I’ve posted about it before. M
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May 3, 2022 01:29
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Koivunen posted:He is prescribed a certain dose, but only takes it when he feels he needs it, and he takes apart the capsules and dumps all the tiny beads into a pill container, then guesstimates a dose from there.  That's one of the stranger behaviors with pills I've heard of, especially for something like Adderall XR.
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May 3, 2022 01:35
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Isn't that sort of capsule meant to be a gradual release mechanism, or am I thinking of a different medication? Doesn't seem smart to fiddle with that if so
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May 3, 2022 01:39
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Brawnfire posted:Isn't that sort of capsule meant to be a gradual release mechanism, or am I thinking of a different medication? Doesn't seem smart to fiddle with that if so Yes. Adderall XR is the slow-release.
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May 3, 2022 01:40
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Brawnfire posted:Isn't that sort of capsule meant to be a gradual release mechanism, or am I thinking of a different medication? Doesn't seem smart to fiddle with that if so You’re right, it is gradual release, and it’s stupid to try to be your own pharmacist/doctor. I’m a nurse and it drives me absolutely bonkers. Take it as prescribed, FFS. But he thinks he knows better than anyone else.
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May 3, 2022 01:54
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Koivunen posted:You are right, he does have ADD, and I made a lot of excuses to myself for dismissing some behaviors. He takes adderall, but that’s a whole nother story. He is prescribed a certain dose, but only takes it when he feels he needs it, and he takes apart the capsules and dumps all the tiny beads into a pill container, then guesstimates a dose from there. It’s XR so it’s not like he’s snorting it, but he will take it for work or if there’s something he needs to concentrate for. That was a big issue… why not take the prescribed dose every day so you can be present in the lives of your wife and kids… Why save it for “special occasions?” He got really big into nicotine gum in the few months before we separated, I’m sure I’ve posted about it before. M Hi, I've got some pretty bad ADHD that has definitely caused issues in my relationships and my marriage. I have worked on it and I take medication and your husband's a giant rear end in a top hat. I give you full permission to think he's a jackass because even at my most loving unmotivated I have a child and I step up and do poo poo. Being disorganized, forgetting poo poo, not following through, these are things that I have struggled with and will struggle with for the rest of my life. Not giving a crap about the basic wellbeing of my partner and children is not part of my diagnosis. Not wanting to work hard to manage my poo poo for the people I love is not part of the diagnosis. He should absolutely not be doing that with his meds, if he doesn't like the dosage he should be talking to his psych and getting a different perscription. None of this is your problem obviously other than how it affects you.
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May 3, 2022 01:55
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Uuugh, so the ogre toddler's napstrike at daycare continues, and the director asked if we'd be willing to try half-days again this month. He's been fighting sleep at bedtime as well. I don't know what's going on. He's not 3 yet, it should be too early for him to drop his last nap, right? Also chiming in as a fellow ADHD sufferer to say that he's just an rear end in a top hat.
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May 3, 2022 02:27
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Some kids drop all their naps by age 2, some will nap forever. Like all things with kids, it's a total crapshoot.
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May 3, 2022 02:43
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citybeatnik posted:Uuugh, so the ogre toddler's napstrike at daycare continues, and the director asked if we'd be willing to try half-days again this month. He's been fighting sleep at bedtime as well. Our almost 2.5 year old has had a couple nap strikes recently and they seemed to be related to specific preferences that she wasn’t able to communicate well. First, she refused to sleep in her sleep bag and wanted blankets but it took a couple weeks for us to actually figure that out. The next one, which admittedly isn’t helpful for your situation, seems to be that she wanted to nap like they did at daycare. We switched her from half days to full days today and she took a 90 minute nap with no problem her very first time. At home she skipped probably 75% of her naps over the last month. Another thing that kinda worked for us was to wake her up an hour earlier, but gently caress that.
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May 3, 2022 02:46
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Koivunen posted:and he takes apart the capsules and dumps all the tiny beads into a pill container,
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May 3, 2022 02:51
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nachos posted:Our almost 2.5 year old has had a couple nap strikes recently and they seemed to be related to specific preferences that she wasn’t able to communicate well. First, she refused to sleep in her sleep bag and wanted blankets but it took a couple weeks for us to actually figure that out. The next one, which admittedly isn’t helpful for your situation, seems to be that she wanted to nap like they did at daycare. We switched her from half days to full days today and she took a 90 minute nap with no problem her very first time. At home she skipped probably 75% of her naps over the last month. Another thing that kinda worked for us was to wake her up an hour earlier, but gently caress that. Oh hey, our kid just vetoed sleep sacks too. We threw a light blanket in there which she seems to acknowledge but not use right now and dressed her in a warm onesie since it's still depressingly cold for april here.
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May 3, 2022 03:54
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Kiddo is 1.5 years old and has all the front teeth but now is super pissed about more teeth I think. Tylenol is helping but he keeps grabbing his head and ears and poking his face and just shrieking. Head butting stuff, hitting, throwing toys, refusing to eat or drink. Finally got some yogurt and chicken noodle soup into him today. It’s like he’s already hit the terrible twos. Poor little guy  He woke himself up last night because I think he was just thirsty. We were trying to wean him off pacifiers during the day but he’s so miserable I’m just letting him have one if nothing else works.
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May 3, 2022 04:05
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If you pediatrician has given you the ok we found Motrin much more effective for teething pain than Tylenol.
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May 3, 2022 04:15
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Mind_Taker posted:What the…how did you/she get so lucky? There are some indications that a percentage of the population is more or less immune to noroviruses, which are the leading cause of vomiting in small children. So perhaps just plain luck with genetics? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4845991/ I suspect my wife has it, too, because I've had norovirus twice without her catching it.
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May 3, 2022 07:10
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I'm officially a parent now, which is fun. Hopefully I don't screw this up.
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May 3, 2022 12:57
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Dr.D-O posted:I'm officially a parent now, which is fun. Welcome to the club. The fact that you know you CAN screw it up is a good start. Ask away if you've got questions. We're all either new or were new to this too.
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May 3, 2022 13:02
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sharkytm posted:Welcome to the club. Thank you  This is probably a really dumb question, but when do people read to their kids? The hospital told us to start reading immediately, but I've been finding it hard to find time where she is awake. If she's awake, she's usually hungry/uncomfortable and otherwise she is asleep. Should I be reading to her while she's sleeping?
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May 3, 2022 13:05
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Newborns definitely do not seem interested in books other than chewing on them, but it cannot hurt to sit down and read some baby books together even at that age. After a few months we would prop a book up and have the baby work on his/her strength by supporting their own head and looking at the pictures. It is not long before they enjoy and become interested in having you read to them, they will be bringing books to you to read for them constantly.
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May 3, 2022 13:14
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With a newborn I think you can probably read whatever you want. I think my whole family was reading the Hobbit out loud to our baby after she was just born. That was fun! Now it's all whatever she wants to read at age 2... Much less exciting. Although there are plenty of fun ones. They will come a time when the kid is more mobile when yeah, all they will want to do is chew on the books! Which may be isn't the best. It will pass. External Organs fucked around with this message at 13:40 on May 3, 2022 |
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May 3, 2022 13:20
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I have been reading at least a book of some kind a day since the baby was born and now at almost a year she is still not super interested in them. We still read every day and go to library reading time etc though. She picks them up and kind of looks through them but isn't interested in me reading them. It's very weird.
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May 3, 2022 13:39
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I read Alice in Wonderland, The Magician’s Nephew, and The Pirates in an Adventure with Scientists to my kid when she was just a few months old. Just the sound of my voice helped to put her to sleep. Find a novel you’ve been meaning to read and take the opportunity to read a bit aloud to your kid each day. As they get older and more interested in books, they will start to have their own preferences. We probably won’t read novels again until she’s around 4. At 18 months, her favourite books right now are Stories for One Year Olds, The Mouse and the Moon, and Dorrie and the Blue Witch. I recently brought home some of my old books from my mom’s house including Henry’s Important Date, Babar the Little Elephant and The Witch of Hissing Hill. I really wanna print out and frame some of the pages from The Witch of Hissing Hill. I just love the 1960’s art. Nessa fucked around with this message at 13:47 on May 3, 2022 |
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May 3, 2022 13:41
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Dr.D-O posted:Thank you I read 3 books to my son every night, a habit I started when he was 2 months old. He's 9 months old now. My wife reads to him regularly, and he even turns the pages sometimes. He does very much like to chew on the edges of the board books. Do whatever makes your newborn happy. I found that reading before bed was a good bonding activity, let him settle down before bed, and it was good for me to spend 15 minutes of dedicated "father-son time" with him every night with no distractions or other activities.
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May 3, 2022 13:44
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For newborns, imo the most important thing that reading to them does is introduce them to the sound of language. They can barely see and don’t care about books. They want a warm snuggle with voices. Sing, read, talk about stuff. It’s all good for them. If the book gives you content, great! My kids didn’t really start interacting with books until 9 months. Now my 3 year old “reads” them to everyone.
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May 3, 2022 13:49
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Books work great as part of a bed/naptime routine, my kid gets a whole short book or part of a longer book every nap and 2-3 books at bedtime. It's a great bonding activity, a very good wind-down activity, and an easy signal that it's time to sleep soon. I'm certain that she comprehends none of it but it's more words per day that she gets exposure to, and it's such a consistent part of her routine that we put her in her crib and start reading, and usually by 5 mins in she goes from flailing or crying (depending on mood lol) to yawning and sucking her thumb.
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May 3, 2022 14:11
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sheri posted:Some kids drop all their naps by age 2, some will nap forever. Like all things with kids, it's a total crapshoot. this is all of mine 
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May 3, 2022 14:12
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Dobbs_Head posted:For newborns, imo the most important thing that reading to them does is introduce them to the sound of language. They can barely see and don’t care about books. It's this right here. Developmentally, there's some quota of words they're supposed to hear every day or whatever. This helps them learn language. They're not going to care about books for quite a while, but reading helps get those numbers up. The more the better, and obviously it's a good bonding activity. Real voices are required, though. TV/radio don't cut it. IIRC the words don't necessarily have to be directed towards the kid, but it doesn't hurt.
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May 3, 2022 14:13
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Once the kid does start caring about books after several weeks or months, a near-universal favorite is something with pictures of babies. Babies love to look at babies. Check your local library to see if they have a newborn reading program, sometimes if you sign up for Baby's First Library card they'll give you some free materials.
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May 3, 2022 14:19
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sheri posted:Some kids drop all their naps by age 2, some will nap forever. Like all things with kids, it's a total crapshoot. nachos posted:Our almost 2.5 year old has had a couple nap strikes recently and they seemed to be related to specific preferences that she wasn’t able to communicate well. First, she refused to sleep in her sleep bag and wanted blankets but it took a couple weeks for us to actually figure that out. The next one, which admittedly isn’t helpful for your situation, seems to be that she wanted to nap like they did at daycare. We switched her from half days to full days today and she took a 90 minute nap with no problem her very first time. At home she skipped probably 75% of her naps over the last month. Another thing that kinda worked for us was to wake her up an hour earlier, but gently caress that. Well gently caress me. You'd think his Montessori would be used to almost-3yo deciding to peace out and not nap.
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May 3, 2022 14:58
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Our kid dropped at 2.5, conveniently right at the start of the pandemic. Last nap he took he was asleep for 15 minutes, then his sister snuck in and woke him up because she was bored. Un relatedly, he woke up twice last night hollering that his ear hurt. I thought we were past this stuff.
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May 3, 2022 15:09
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My 10 year old has just said to me that when we finish our current book (Mixed Magics, the last book in Diane Wynne Jones's fantastic Chrestomanci series) she'd like to stop having bedtime stories - same with my wife when they finish the series they're on. I mean, she's been reading to herself since just after she turned 5 - she devours the things, spends whole days reading - and we have continued longer than I did as a child, just because we both enjoyed it so much. But I guess now she is firmly in independent, mildly sullen pre-teen mode, she wants even more time to read herself. I completely understand and respect this, as well as how touchingly concerned she obviously was for my feelings when she told me. I didn't really let on so as not to make it harder for her, but I'm obviously a little sad at the end of an era - of little traditional pranks, like every time I leaned over to the bedside table to grab the book or take a drink she would slip her hand underneath where my back would lay back down, or of late night reading sessions when she'd wake up in the middle of the night and find me and we'd do a chapter. My younger one still has stories, but has never been as passionate about them as her, much as I also love reading to him. Still, hopefully another couple of years left with him, and I still read to my wife too, plus I still expect the occasional late night tête-à-tête with my eldest, just sans reading. We've had a good run, too, and I got to read some books I missed as a child but wanted to read (Chronicles of Prydain, Watership Down (which made me realise how good an adaptation the film was), as well share books I love (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Hobbit, His Dark Materials), or loved (Narnia, which I still think are a great yarn, just problematic; she loved them too and re-read them herself right after we finished). Or the period years back where I had to stretch my creative juices by making stories up on the spot. But I can't help feel a little melancholy. One short story left in our book, then that's it. Still, I'm mainly just glad she loves reading so much. Hopeful her brother will pick up the bug when he's older.
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May 3, 2022 15:17
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wizzardstaff posted:Once the kid does start caring about books after several weeks or months, a near-universal favorite is something with pictures of babies. Babies love to look at babies. Oh yeah, when my kid was 6-9 months or so, her favourite book was B is for Bear because a couple pages had baby faces and she would smile and giggle whenever she saw them. They were her first friends. I then got her Baby Faces Peekaboo, which she also loved.
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May 3, 2022 15:18
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We found the Usborne "That's Not My..." series to be great very early books. Every page had a different material or texture that they could touch, making the books interactive and engaging for very young minds.
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May 3, 2022 15:20
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OneSizeFitsAll posted:I completely understand and respect this, as well as how touchingly concerned she obviously was for my feelings when she told me. This sort of poo poo is so loving hard. I feel like everything makes me cry these days, kids just pull you in four emotional directions at once. Life is so fast. I love how my children grow and change but God drat, they are my silly babies and it's painful to see it disappear in the rearview.
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May 3, 2022 15:22
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Brawnfire posted:This sort of poo poo is so loving hard. I feel like everything makes me cry these days, kids just pull you in four emotional directions at once. It's why, whenever they want to do something daft and goofy, like play "tickle monster", I have to have a very good reason to say no. Who knows when it'll be the last time you do it? One time, it will be. It's also why I pick her up and hold her in my arms still, even though she is about 20 feet tall. One day, she'll tell me to stop, and that'll be it.
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May 3, 2022 15:34
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May 3, 2022 15:35
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My son has started lying when his diaper is full of poop. I guess he wants to avoid getting changed for some reason? Also, one of his favorite things to do is stand up and drop as fast as he can and land on his butt and then giggles. I think you can see where this is going. Anyways, he pooped, like a lot. I asked him if he had pooped. He screamed "UH-UHHHH" then butt stomped the ground so hard poop when flying out the bottom of his shorts and up his back.
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