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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for telling my child to share Those parents are just really cheap, no gifts for you only free donut for me.
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May 6, 2022 15:06
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Cat Army 
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for telling my child to share "We do not celebrate birthdays in our family as we think it is important to teach her that it is just like any other day" Ah, I see, cool cool cool. One question, though: why?
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May 6, 2022 15:11
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in a general sense i think choosing to skip birthday celebrations is not really a big deal. the flipside, though, is that that means you have to be awesome and loving and filling your kids with love and kindness and celebration for the other 365 days of the year and these fucks clearly aren't doing that
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May 6, 2022 15:13
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Like, on the one hand, yeah I get no wanting to raise your kid to expect a yearly blow-out at Chuck E. Cheese with an elaborate cake and a ton of presents. But it seems like these dipshits went to the polar opposite and given their meltdown about wanting her donut, they definitely didn't take that position for financial or philosophical reasons other than "I ain't spending poo poo on these kids and they better support us when they're old enough."
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May 6, 2022 15:18
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To my understanding, not celebrating birthdays is a thing in some cultures and religions like Jehovah's Witnesses and some versions of Judaism, like the infamous story where an Alabama call center threw a surprise baby shower for an extremely Jewish woman they'd constantly harassed for her religion, because in the sect of Judaism she followed, baby showers are seen as wishing that your baby will die in birth (on the notion that you'd only celebrate prematurely if you knew that there'd not be an actual event to celebrate when it happens).
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May 6, 2022 15:21
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Brawnfire posted:"We do not celebrate birthdays in our family as we think it is important to teach her that it is just like any other day" they could be Jehovah's Witnesses e: either way the root answer is, "so that our children don't feel they have independent and inherent value, so we can emotionally dominate them more easily" Doc Hawkins fucked around with this message at 15:24 on May 6, 2022 |
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May 6, 2022 15:22
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mediaphage posted:imagine getting that upset because your daughter bought herself a doughnut on her birthday. i'm literally unable to understand that. I'd be very upset that my daughter bought herself a donut in her birthday, because that would mean she wanted donuts but had to buy them herself on her birthday. I'm not a huge birthday bash dad, but I don't think some donuts or a cake with some candles and a gift or two will spoil a kid in the least.
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May 6, 2022 15:28
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It's difficult for me to grasp that the parents don't even hold the day to be special in their own minds. My child was born that day! Before that day they didn't exist in the world, and now they do! I want to celebrate that, personally. A cupcake from the grocery store and a candle at least.
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May 6, 2022 15:35
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It's a weird control thing where she's not even allowed to have her own donut because that means she's trying to feel special on her birthday, and instead she should be in the grindset! Not only do they not celebrate, they go out of their way to make sure she doesn't as well. Look how quickly the mom honed in on what appeared to be a small gift and interrogated whether it was given or not. The daughter had to defend with she bought it for herself, which may not even be true but clearly she's not even allowed to accept gifts on her bday in that atmosphere. That poor girl. I hope she's able to unlearn this poo poo when she breaks away into adulthood. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 15:49 on May 6, 2022 |
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May 6, 2022 15:47
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mediaphage posted:imagine getting that upset because your daughter bought herself a doughnut on her birthday. i'm literally unable to understand that. But it's important she realises her birthday isn't special! Man, I'd love* to know the reasoning behind that. * hate
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May 6, 2022 15:53
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Brawnfire posted:It's difficult for me to grasp that the parents don't even hold the day to be special in their own minds. My child was born that day! Before that day they didn't exist in the world, and now they do! I want to celebrate that, personally. A cupcake from the grocery store and a candle at least. hm, i dunno, still sounds like it would be about them, not me
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May 6, 2022 15:54
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thinking about it more, i strongly doubt a Witness would post for advice on reddit, these are almost certainly independent and free-thinking shitheads
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May 6, 2022 15:55
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Could just as easily be some dumb New Age suburban nonsense. Not spoiling a kid is fine, punishing them for having a Boston Cream to celebrate their birthday is ridiculous
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May 6, 2022 16:00
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mediaphage posted:imagine getting that upset because your daughter bought herself a doughnut on her birthday. i'm literally unable to understand that. narcissism is a hell of a thing
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May 6, 2022 16:07
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Sounds like the divorce was a shitshow at probably the worst possible time for him and they never really worked through that. God I feel for this guy, he’s an even-more-damaged version of me. Not my exact circumstances, but a shitshow divorce and remarriages as an adolescent is rough. Reading the way the guy talk about how he feels is physically painful.
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May 6, 2022 16:13
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StrangersInTheNight posted:It's a weird control thing where she's not even allowed to have her own donut because that means she's trying to feel special on her birthday, and instead she should be in the grindset! Not only do they not celebrate, they go out of their way to make sure she doesn't as well. Look how quickly the mom honed in on what appeared to be a small gift and interrogated whether it was given or not. The daughter had to defend with she bought it for herself, which may not even be true but clearly she's not even allowed to accept gifts on her bday in that atmosphere. Amazon warehouse management as a parenting style
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May 6, 2022 16:38
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If it was a religious thing the OP would definitely specify that because it would get more people on their side. This is just some "our children are our property and need to be reminded of that" abuse
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May 6, 2022 16:55
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duck trucker posted:If it was a religious thing the OP would definitely specify that because it would get more people on their side. This is just some "our children are our property and need to be reminded of that" abuse This tracks for me. My personal experience with Witnesses (had some JW friends in K-12) would be that the kid would get punished for merely expressing the desire for a birthday. It’d get padded with language about pivoting their perspective back to god, but there’d be a big to-do about it at the church. Those parents don’t seem to be punishing her for wanting a birthday, just—you know—treating herself a little bit when her own parents refuse to acknowledge the one little day a year we can assign to ourselves as a personal holiday. I agree that it makes sense they may not want to pay for a large celebration or deal with crowds, but come on. They’re definitely on a different track than that.
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May 6, 2022 17:00
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duck trucker posted:If it was a religious thing the OP would definitely specify that because it would get more people on their side. This is just some "our children are our property and need to be reminded of that" abuse Yeah, it's "she should be doing homework, not wasting time celebrating."
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May 6, 2022 17:22
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Uncle Enzo posted:Job stuff aside, someone who just got off work deserves at bare minimum 5-15 minutes to go to the bathroom, wash their hands, change out of their work clothes, get a drink of water, etc before taking over childcare duties. Unless it's an emergency. Even if they have a chill low stress job, they just got off the road after a days work. Give them a couple minutes to switch gears. Job stuff aside, someone who just got off work taking care of a child all day deserves at bare minimum 5-15 minutes to go to the bathroom, wash their hands, change out of their work clothes, get a drink of water, etc. Even if they have a chill low stress baby, they just got done taking care of a living human for an entire day. Give them a couple minutes to have a moment to themselves.
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May 6, 2022 17:23
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why not both?
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May 6, 2022 17:26
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sullat posted:Job stuff aside, someone who just got off work taking care of a child all day deserves at bare minimum 5-15 minutes to go to the bathroom, wash their hands, change out of their work clothes, get a drink of water, etc. Even if they have a chill low stress baby, they just got done taking care of a living human for an entire day. Give them a couple minutes to have a moment to themselves. you're right, and/but the "just got off this job" for the stay-at-home parent doesn't actually start until the out-of-home parent has had THEIR break because until the end of that decompression period the first person is not yet fully present to take over their job duties. did you think you were posting some kind of gotcha? all you did was post a reasonable truth in a way that ridiculously implied it's in some form of opposition with another reasonable truth. it is true that not enough people acknowledge this about the stay-at-home parent but it's true for both parties.
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May 6, 2022 17:34
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baggage implied
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May 6, 2022 17:35
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sullat posted:Job stuff aside, someone who just got off work taking care of a child all day deserves at bare minimum 5-15 minutes to go to the bathroom, wash their hands, change out of their work clothes, get a drink of water, etc. Even if they have a chill low stress baby, they just got done taking care of a living human for an entire day. Give them a couple minutes to have a moment to themselves. dam, rly makes u think huh
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May 6, 2022 17:50
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The important thing is that you set expectations by posting on the internet about it rather than talking to one another
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May 6, 2022 17:52
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yeah?!! well I’ve also been seeing a child’s organs outside of their body all day, the largest organ, skin is an organ, u didn’t think about that now did u our days weren’t so different after all MY child at least survived so at least one of us is doing our job  dear aita my wife and I had a disagreement and now she wants a divorce???? sugar free jazz fucked around with this message at 17:55 on May 6, 2022 |
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May 6, 2022 17:53
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AITA for telling gf I don’t care about her ADHD ?quote:Girlfriend (28F) and I (24F) have moved in together february.
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May 6, 2022 18:15
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The Glumslinger posted:AITA for telling gf I don’t care about her ADHD ? well I'm sure one of the people reaching out to talk poo poo let her stay at their place and use their kitchen
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May 6, 2022 18:17
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sugar free jazz posted:yeah?!! well I’ve also been seeing a child’s organs outside of their body all day, the largest organ, skin is an organ, u didn’t think about that now did u our days weren’t so different after all lmao Soylent Pudding posted:My coworker threw a pee covered pregnancy test at people and now there is chaos r/relationships: a company-wide memo about keeping bodily fluids to yourself
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May 6, 2022 18:20
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The Glumslinger posted:AITA for telling gf I don’t care about her ADHD ? Glad our thread goon found someone if only temporarily
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May 6, 2022 18:25
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sullat posted:Job stuff aside, someone who just got off work taking care of a child all day deserves at bare minimum 5-15 minutes to go to the bathroom, wash their hands, change out of their work clothes, get a drink of water, etc. Even if they have a chill low stress baby, they just got done taking care of a living human for an entire day. Give them a couple minutes to have a moment to themselves. I think it's a bit harsh to only give someone a 5-15 minute break after watching a child all day before giving the child back to them. People really should try and help each other more and share some responsibilities. You wouldn't like it if you worked all day at a job and only got a 5-15 minute break.
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May 6, 2022 18:25
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The Glumslinger posted:AITA for telling gf I don’t care about her ADHD ? quote:Even the friend that I am crashing with told me that I shouldn’t have snapped at her, hat by saying I don’t care about her ADHD I have given her lifelong trust issues when it comes to future partners.
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May 6, 2022 18:28
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hawowanlawow posted:well I'm sure one of the people reaching out to talk poo poo let her stay at their place and use their kitchen Flying Monkeys never seem to have money or space for their lovely queen bee.
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May 6, 2022 18:29
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The Glumslinger posted:AITA for telling gf I don’t care about her ADHD ? Just hit da bricks OP
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May 6, 2022 18:33
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AITA for changing the song just before they walked down the aisle?quote:Hey, quote:The only way you could be TA in this situation is if you have a history of making things always about you. Then it could feel like you were only too happy to steal the limelight and do your karaoke performance. But apart from that, NTA for sure. OP posted:Yeah that's what the mothers' think we're my intention. They think I fed the singer eye drops just to play superhero and save the day. I told them I would have rathered be on the stage with my best friend and not "working", but they won't be reasoned with.
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May 6, 2022 18:36
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Biplane posted:Just hit da bricks OP She's already hit the bricks, she should take ex to small claims.
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May 6, 2022 18:36
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Uhh I've got middling ADHD but I can cook without burning my house down, it just involves a lot of timers with alarms and podcasts to listen to the whole time. You're supposed to develop coping strategies if your meds don't work well enough, not just shrug and say "well I guess it's fine to start fires all the time lol"
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May 6, 2022 18:36
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for telling my child to share Who can link this ? I'm having no luck finding it.
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May 6, 2022 18:42
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A good update. Update: AITA for calling my wife fat in front of our young children. quote:Update: AITA for calling my wife fat in front of our young children.
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May 6, 2022 18:49
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artsy fartsy posted:AITA for changing the song just before they walked down the aisle? This eyedrop accusation is very specific and that concerns me.
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May 6, 2022 18:49
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