- feedmyleg
- Dec 25, 2004
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What're the current good freely accessible weird image/text generators?
https://huggingface.co/spaces/dalle-mini/dalle-mini
https://neuralblender.com/
https://play.aidungeon.io/
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May 7, 2022 16:35
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 26, 2024 20:36
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- feedmyleg
- Dec 25, 2004
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I never found that to be a problem 
Sure it happens occasionally, but you hit Retry a few times and it's usually taken care of, or you go back through the existing text and remove a few things so it has less of a pattern to pick up on.
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May 7, 2022 16:52
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- Farecoal
- Oct 15, 2011
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There he go
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https://textsynth.com/playground.html
This is my current favorite
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May 7, 2022 17:19
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- Dick Trauma
- Nov 30, 2007
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God damn it, you've got to be kind.
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I asked the doctor if it was possible to find a testicle donor, but he warned me that this was impossible. He explained that he and his team had searched high and low to find a perfect match, but so far, they had been unable to do so. He added, "If we do find a donor, we are planning to move him to a better hospital where we can use his testicle as a successful and highly sought-after transplant."
I asked the doctor, "Does that ever happen?"
He said, "Yes, it does happen."
At the same time, Dr. Fiellin and his colleagues were working on new ways of using testicle transplants to benefit patients who were born without a penis or whose penises had been damaged by disease.
They were successful. In 2005, Dr. Fiellin and his team implanted one testicle of a deceased donor into a sixty-two-year-old gay man with a badly injured penis. This man reported experiencing improved sexual satisfaction.
EDIT:
Deathlok grinned. Captain America was unnerved by it, but the mission was too important to ignore. “Don’t worry. I got you a few extra goodies.” He pulled a small plastic container out of the bag and held it up so Captain America could see.
“What is that?” He asked.
“Pizza.”
“You brought pizza to the war?” Captain America said.
EDIT 2:
Is it a real treasure chest, or a mimic? The only way to be sure was to open it. But, as I said, this one was made out of iron.
I took a deep breath, held the lid firmly, and opened the chest.
Nothing. No treasure, not even a key. But there was a keyhole, round and black. A quick glance inside revealed the key. I couldn't have pulled it out fast enough, for the next instant the iron lid flew up, the key clattered to the stone floor, and an orange-colored cat leapt out of the chest.
"Whoa! That's a pretty big cat!" I jumped backward.
Dick Trauma has a new favorite as of 18:00 on May 7, 2022
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May 7, 2022 17:26
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- Tunicate
- May 15, 2012
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What're the current good freely accessible weird image/text generators?
IIRC openai now has gpt3 available to the general public, and tehy giev you an 18 dollar credit when you sign up.
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May 7, 2022 20:04
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- CarlGustav
- Nov 11, 2013
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Does anyone here maybe have a spare Midjourney invite? I had no luck with the waiting list so far… i cant wait to make some weird goatseesque tarot cards…
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May 8, 2022 02:35
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- Dick Trauma
- Nov 30, 2007
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God damn it, you've got to be kind.
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That website keeps making me laugh with the twists it delivers.
quote:"I swear to god that if you remove these restraints I will behave myself."
The doctor could see the patient's muscles straining, sweat forming on his brow.
"I will remove them, but on one condition. You must promise to behave."
As the doctor reached for the restraints he felt the patient's hot body heat. He hesitated for a moment, trying to decide whether to take them off, but he knew that the patient wouldn't comply if he just removed the restraints with out a good reason.
"Fine." Said the patient as he took a deep breath. "Now are you ready to admit me?"
The doctor nodded as he looked at the patient and was amazed by his strength and determination. He knew that he had made the right decision in taking these restraints off.
"You are free to go whenever you want."
As the doctor was speaking he watched the patient walk out of the room and through the corridors of the hospital. After a few minutes the doctor heard a loud explosion that blew off the entire wall that the patient had just passed through.
EDIT: 
quote:Her grandfather leaned forward, excited now to be sharing his story.
"I left this leg back in France, courtesy of the fuckin' Germans! But it felt right, all this time. It was as though I had never been hurt in the first place." He smiled with his eyes and the smile was gone the next second. "Until we stopped, I'd forgotten all about my leg. I thought it was there to stop me from falling, and now . . . now I feel the ache of that fall, you know?" He put his hand up to his thigh, the one he had lost. "I think, for me, maybe my leg didn't need me after all." Dick Trauma has a new favorite as of 04:17 on May 8, 2022
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May 8, 2022 04:00
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- girl dick energy
- Sep 30, 2009
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You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Derail Valley > PYF ProcGen: I think, for me, maybe my leg didn't need me after all
EDIT:
quote:I like to think that my posts are funny, but my brother said there was some of the stuff I wrote about him I should take out because I think some people might have taken it the wrong way.
So that’s what I’m doing.
I’m removing a few of the posts where I was being a little hard on him. So some of the stuff I had on this page has been removed.
I know that it took a lot of courage for him to tell me he had depression. I wish I had told him, “I don’t think that is a very good thing for me to say”.
I don’t know why I thought I had the right to say that. My parents told me I didn’t have that right.
He’s not my kid anymore. We aren’t in this close of a relationship anymore.
I’m really sad about that.
I was hoping for a self-own and instead I got a story about someone who alienated their whole family by joking about their kid brother's depression.
Edit:
quote:"You're not funny, girl dick," said the entire internet in unison.
(Photo: VH1)
Here's hoping that the next time your family is trying to name your baby's genitals, you have just a little more of a sense of humor, because you've got another vagina coming home with you.
If you think this is an exaggeration, don't worry: The term "vagina-tron" isn't actually a thing, but there is a Twitter account named that. And while the definition of the word "vagina" is "the lower part of the human female reproductive system," vaginas apparently don't know the definition of the word "tron."
The account's description promises "weird, sexy things," but all the tweets consist of are selfies of women posing with their vaginas, which aren't actually being "vagina-troned." girl dick energy has a new favorite as of 11:03 on May 8, 2022
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May 8, 2022 11:00
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- Dick Trauma
- Nov 30, 2007
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God damn it, you've got to be kind.
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Did I ever tell you about the time I bought an entire case of dildos from Wal-Mart? I was shopping there in the toy section, looking for something specific, when my eyes got pulled toward the dildo selection. A little voice inside of me begged me to step up and buy a case of them; so I did. It turned out that they were pretty decent prices (I got three dildos, two vibrators, and two butt plugs for $60!), but I have to admit that they weren’t that great looking. However, they had a pretty high resale value! I ended up selling them for $15 each, $15 more than I paid.
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May 9, 2022 03:25
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- Splicer
- Oct 16, 2006
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from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
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Is this a maths exam question? I'm calculating that the vibrators were $10 and the butt plugs $5.
If you think that both Bob and Alice spent $7 dollars, you're wrong. Because $7 dollars is 48 apples.
And if you think that Bob spent 7 dollars, but that Alice spent 6 dollars, you're wrong, too.
The correct answer is that Bob spent only 1 dollar. In general, when people do the same kind of thing, some of them end up spending the most money.
This is called the law of large numbers
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May 9, 2022 08:19
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- RatHat
- Dec 31, 2007
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A tiny behatted rat👒🐀!
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This exam is bullshit
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May 9, 2022 15:44
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- Reive
- May 21, 2009
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Letting AI define made up words is fun
the meaning of "barbukilstorfiloffer" is "to have the feeling of being able to kill you if you do not give in to your pleas for mercy."
The first word of the expression comes from the verb "to barukelt" which means "to stab you with a sword," and which in turn comes from the noun "baru" which means "a straight and pointed weapon," i.e. "a sword".
"Barbukillestor" means "a straight or pointed weapon with a short blade."
Barbukillestorfiloffer, and its Swedish counterpart "Bärblade", is a fairly common insult in Sweden and Finland.
The barbukillestorfiloffer also exists as a name for a musical composition.
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May 9, 2022 16:10
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- feedmyleg
- Dec 25, 2004
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Some new wisdom just dropped:
quote:
Today we're going to talk about epigrams, then explain a little bit about where the epigram came from and what it means.
1) OCCAM'S RAZOR
- This epigram is typically stated as: "The simplest explanation is most likely the correct one."
- The principle gives precedence to simplicity: of two competing theories, the simpler explanation of an entity is to be preferred.
2) MURPHY'S LAW
- This epigram is typically stated as: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."
- This lends a certain amount of pragmatism about planning for the worst possible scenario.
3) ACTON'S DICTUM
- This epigram is typically stated as: "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
- This principle implies that great men are almost bad men, and that power tends to attract the worst sort of eople.
4) FREE WILL PARADOX
- This epigram is typically stated: "If God knows in advance how we will decide, how can there be free will?"
- This conundrum of theological fatalism contends that omniscience and free will are incompatible.
5) THE LAW OF CONSERVING VILES
- This epigram is typically stated: "Nature abhors a vacuum."
- This principle implies that where there's a lack of logical justification, something ridiculous will be introduced to fill the void.
6) HUME'S LAW
- This epigram is typically stated: "A cause must have a sufficient reason for its existence."
- This principle implies that every event in the universe must have a sufficient reason for its inception--otherwise, it would have no reason for existing.
7) CAVELL'S REICH
- This epigram is typically stated: "If we can do nothing, we are still in our right mind."
- This principle is the opposite of the principle of the least action: if there is no alternative, there is no freedom.
8) DANCER'S REFUSAL
- This epigram is typically stated: "Never give two votes to a fool when the question is between a fool and an idiot."
- This principle is a humorous statement that votes should not be given to people who are obviously unfit for the job.
9) THE LIE
- This epigram is typically stated: "A lie may be told a thousand times, but if you repeat it, it ceases to be a lie."
- This principle states that it is better to tell the truth, even if it has to be told a thousand times, than to tell an intentional untruth.
10) ERIK PORTRESS
- This epigram is typically stated: "Some lies are white, and some are black; some are beginning, and some are ending; some are strong, and some are weak; some are true, and some are false."
- This principle is a complicated statement that is easy to remember: lies are easy to tell, and hard to detect, and thus should be treated with caution.
11) HUYGENS' LAW
- This epigram is typically stated: "In matters of religion, we consider the man who is in error, not the believer who is in error."
- This principle states that any belief system, no matter how nonsensical it seems to the rational mind, holds the potential to be true for some people, so we should respect the right of individuals to believe such things.
12) CAVEMAN'S WISH
- This epigram is typically stated: "It is a bad plan for a pig to stick its neck out. "
- This principle is a philosophical statement that we should not take unnecessary risks in life, for the consequences can be grave.
13) CAVELL'S CYCLE
- This epigram is typically stated: "We are always in the twilight of the dawn."
- This principle is a poetic way of saying that the sun is continuously rising (or setting), and that we are never completely in the darkness before the dawn, and never completely in the light after the dawn.
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May 9, 2022 18:11
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- Splicer
- Oct 16, 2006
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from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
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"They had us in the first half," said ultrafilter, "I'm not gonna lie. The second half, they didn't have us at all. It was an overall, I would say, negative experience for the first half, and the second half was, I'm not gonna say the same thing but it was a positive experience. Both halves were great. It's not a matter of one being good and one being bad, it's more of a matter of, one's really good and one's really bad."
"They had us in the first half, I'm not gonna lie." said ultrafilter.io's coach TheLions.
"They scored two or three quick goals and we never really adapted to it."
That was a bit of a statement because the game started with the first goal coming from the ultrafilters.io side. Their coach, TheLions, was more modest when he said: "But then in the second half we came out and started to play better and started to dominate, especially with some of the stuff in our end.
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May 9, 2022 18:11
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- feedmyleg
- Dec 25, 2004
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Psh, screw that dusty old wisdom, grandpa!! Here's the new COOL wisdom:
quote:
Aphorisms are generally pieces of wisdom passed down by elders throughout the ages, observations or metaphors that highlight the deeper truths of life. Here are 5 common aphorisms:
1) Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
2) Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.
3) You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
4) Don't judge a book by its cover.
5) A penny saved is a penny earned.
Those dusty old aphorisms are for grandpas, though. They're lame. Gen Z needs brand new idioms which speak to modern life and have a "cool" edge and a lot of "attitude." Here are some brand new idioms for a modern age, created by a consulting firm specializing in marketing to the concerns of Gen Z:
1) Instagram is the new reality show.
2) "That's so 2016." is a quick and easy way to tell if something is dated.
3) The best way to get some alone time is to spend it with friends.
4) You're all Boogle-eyed if you're looking at someone on the Internet.
5) The only way to get through a party is to dance.
6) For a relationship to work, you have to have eye contact.
7) No one actually "likes" their friends.
8) People who don't have cell phones are called "earthlings."
9) It's not really your party, so act like you're having a good time, even if you're miserable.
10) Just because you got your period doesn't mean you can go commando.
11) You're more than your profile pic.
12) It's uncool to show your private part.
13) You're not really a "party animal" until you've peed in someone's drinking cup at least three times.
14) You're a grown-up! Take your meds!
15) It's uncool to show someone your phone.
16) You're a rebel if you're not at least a little chunky.
17) It's uncool to be a "baldie."
18) If you don't have at least three Facebook friends, you're uncool.
19) Your phone is one of the best party tricks.
20) If you're going to get drunk, make sure it's at someone else's party.
21) Your phone is never more than two feet away from you.
22) You're a "lame," if you don't have a Wikipedia account.
23) "OMG you're so crasy!" is the most overused comment in the history of the world.
24) You're lame if you don't know how to use a GIF.
25) If your clothes are on the floor, at least they're matching.
26) "Did you just call me 'honey'?" is the greatest line in the history of comedy.
27) If you're with your friends, your social life is over.
28) Never refer to a sibling as your "brother" or "sister." They're your "twin cousins."
29) If you go to the bathroom while at a party, you're being uncool.
30) It's "uncool" to use the "snuggle button" on your phone at a party.
31) If you're not a "millennial polymath," you're lame.
32) It's a bummer when your crush says she's "into you," but it's better than her replying, "I'm not into you, you're a nerd."
33) "No" means "yes," and "yes" means "maybe," so if someone asks if you want to go out, you should say "yes."
34) If you're going to cry at a movie, make sure it's Pee-wee's Big Adventure.
35) If you're going to get mad, make sure it's over something stupid.
36) Never let your selfie stick hit the ground.
37) "My bad" is the greatest comeback in the history of the world.
38) If you're going to be rude to someone, make sure it's in public.
39) When in doubt, ask your friends what they think of the new Taylor Swift album.
40) Never share a drink with someone that you only went to one class with in college.
Bonus Idiom:
41) If you see someone you think is cute, and you know they don't like you, don't approach them.
There you go.
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May 9, 2022 20:04
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- fermun
- Nov 4, 2009
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quote:To get from San Francisco to Los Angeles, first you fly north to Las Vegas. The flight takes just over three hours.
And then you head west.
You could drive.
Or, if you’re a fan of public transportation, take the Amtrak.
But many travelers are opting to fly and driving.
The question: Why?
Is there something unique about the combination of flying and driving that’s special? Or is it simply a coincidence?
“It’s a matter of choice,” said Matt Hower, managing director of the San Francisco Bay Area Travel Association. “There’s a lot of business and leisure travelers who enjoy being on airplanes and have the flexibility.”
“The combination of flying and driving is just the most practical way to travel,” added Rick C. Karpowicz, CEO of California Car Club. “You can get from one destination to another without worrying about traffic.
Psh, screw that dusty old wisdom, grandpa!! Here's the new COOL wisdom:
quote:1) Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
2) Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.
3) You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
4) Don't judge a book by its cover.
5) A penny saved is a penny earned.
6) Good things come to those who wait.
7) The opposite of education is not ignorance, it is indifference.
8) Every great man is a failure. Every great success was a long time in coming.
9) If you want to catch a cat, it's better to play with it than chase it.
10) Always remember you are special, just like everyone else.
11) The problem with the underprivileged is they don't know how lucky they are to be born in a rich country.
12) You can't eat your cake and have it too.
13) You can't learn that much in school that you can't learn from your mistakes.
14) Never pay more for less, and never buy more for less.
15) If you aren't doing something significant, it's because you don't have a significant reason to.
16) If you make your bed, you have to sleep in it.
17) Success leaves clues, failure gets all the glory.
18) The only time you find true friends in the morning is by parting with your money.
19) Don't be bitter, be better.
20) It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently.
21) Every man lives in fear of the worst that can happen, and it's only then that he becomes really good.
22) There are no stupid questions. There are only stupid people.
23) If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
24) Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
25) You don't get things done by asking, you get them done by telling.
26) Everyone makes mistakes. The difference between a wise man and a fool is the wise man learns from his.
27) There is no such thing as a stupid question. Only stupid answers.
28) You can't teach a pig to sing. You can only teach it to grunt.
29) There are only two places you don't want to ever visit: your dentist and the unemployment office.
30) Every dog has its day, but some dogs have two.
31) The truth hurts, but not as much as a lie.
32) The greatest satisfaction in business comes from recognizing the good judgment of your employees.
33) A business built on other people's ideas is a charity.
34) A man who doesn't look back isn't fit to lead, and a man who can't look back is fit to be dead.
35) When your goal is to get into bed with the devil, the best thing is to lie awake in bed.
36) People who say that they don't care about money are usually rewarded financially.
37) Everyone is a genius.
38) Life is 10% what you do and 90% how you do it.
39) The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
40) The biggest difference between a good businessman and a great one is that a good businessman never fails. A great businessman has a success story to tell.
41) You never grow old. You just get a little more wisdom.
42) Do not argue with the policeman. Do not throw your television set out of the window. Do not sing. Do not recite poetry. If he asks you to do any of these things, do them.
43) The average is always 50%. The median is always 50%. The mode is always 50%. These are the three 50's.
44) A wise man learns from others. A wise man learns more from his mistakes.
45) A true friend is one who cares enough to listen.
46) You don't become bitter; you learn to accept things.
47) You should ask yourself before you ask someone to do something, "Would I enjoy doing it myself?" If the answer is "yes", do it yourself.
48) If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it was never meant to be yours in the first place.
49) Never look down on anyone unless you are at least three feet taller.
50) The average person is no more than average. The world is full of people who are above average and some who are below. You can't argue with averages. fermun has a new favorite as of 23:13 on May 9, 2022
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May 9, 2022 23:08
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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tag urself im godzilla doing a hell yeah fistpump in picture 6
Also "If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" is actually really solid imo
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May 9, 2022 23:19
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- HiroProtagonist
- May 7, 2007
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this is gold.
quote:Joe Biden is telling a sex joke. He starts by saying: “What’s the difference between an Irish Catholic and an Italian Catholic? You know what they don’t tell you about the Irish? They don’t tell you what they don’t tell you about the Italians.”
His audience seems confused, so Biden pauses, looks down at his notes and goes on: “They don’t tell you about the Italians: They don’t tell you about the sex. They don’t tell you about the sex.”
Biden could be talking about his wife, Jill, and her mother, Rosemary Biden. Or the son of his campaign chairman, Hunter, who is a lobbyist in Ukraine, and who was allegedly sexually harassing Ukrainian girls.
The joke is about a joke. The sex joke is about jokes. It is about the power of joke-telling in public and private. It’s about the art of the gag.
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May 9, 2022 23:36
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 26, 2024 20:36
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- HiroProtagonist
- May 7, 2007
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quote:
What the gently caress did you just say to me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I was the top salesman at Loehmann's, the most influential figure at Macy's, and I was more than capable of putting you in a body bag!"
"Oh, was that your first job, then?" I said, feigning amazement. "Well, all I can say is, it's so much easier to sell a thousand-dollar handbag than a used one, right? And if you're that good, I guess you got every right to go after it."
"Are you serious?" he said, incredulous. "You're not even worth the hundred thousand dollars you just asked for!"
I scoffed. "I wouldn't say I'm worth that much, but if that's what it takes to buy the only thing that matters, then that's what I'm willing to do. You just say no, because there's no deal."
"Look here, lady," he said, "you better listen very carefully to what I'm about to say! Because if I let you have it, you'll never work in this city again, and you'll have to depend on the charity of my clients for the rest of your life!"
That's when I realized he wasn't bluffing. He really was mad enough to murder me, and there was no telling what he would do if I walked out of the store.
"All right," I said, stepping aside. "You're just going to have to do better than that, rear end in a top hat."
"I thought you'd never ask."
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May 9, 2022 23:46
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May 7, 2022 16:35
