(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Jorge Bell posted:It's cool that you've already done the work of identifying why you're fixating on that specific moment (not wanting to be a doormat). I recommend actively trying to not give a poo poo. This sounds flippant and dismissive but it isn't. My life got way better when I stopped trying to analyze the behavior of everyone around me or determine what the right responses would be. You're internally building an annoying event into some kind of test of your character. Goddamn. I'm just wandering through this thread browsing the forums and this post here is some wisdom.
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May 10, 2022 21:21
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| # ? May 25, 2024 19:55 |
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Jorge Bell posted:It's cool that you've already done the work of identifying why you're fixating on that specific moment (not wanting to be a doormat). I recommend actively trying to not give a poo poo. This sounds flippant and dismissive but it isn't. My life got way better when I stopped trying to analyze the behavior of everyone around me or determine what the right responses would be. You're internally building an annoying event into some kind of test of your character. *jerks thumb emphatically* He's right, you know.
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May 11, 2022 02:12
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Jorge Bell posted:It's cool that you've already done the work of identifying why you're fixating on that specific moment (not wanting to be a doormat). I recommend actively trying to not give a poo poo. This sounds flippant and dismissive but it isn't. My life got way better when I stopped trying to analyze the behavior of everyone around me or determine what the right responses would be. You're internally building an annoying event into some kind of test of your character. I was not giving a poo poo, but as she got drunker she was just straight up talking poo poo about the band and people who were liking it, and then eventually other people around her and probably me too. It's less about being a test of character and just being abused by others with no recourse available. I'm tired of it, it's been a pattern my whole life and likely everyone else's, but I'd be lying to you if I didn't spend the next couple days after just full of impotent rage and wishing I had names and an address. To head off any notion of using the buttons, this violent feeling has since passed. In fact, my not giving a poo poo when she was called out the first time is probably why it got as bad as it did later. I was trying that, and it didn't work, and it only got worse. I also could have helped that guy not get bullied away from his seat, and the subsequent people that were including me. The only thing I should have seriously stopped giving a poo poo about was changing my seat, but I've always operated under the principle that rules only apply to me lol. Since I'm thinking about it. Here's a couple gems from that person. "They shoulda bought a more expensive ticket in the non talking section". Gee lady sorry I didn't buy Karen Insurance. "[unintelligible] that white man" Referring to the guy who told her to shut up before. She was a white woman, and about the most entitled person I've met in a little while lol. is pepsi ok posted:I feel a lot of this, especially the bolded part, and I know a lot of other people who also feel this way. I wish I had something helpful to say about it, but all I can say is that it loving sucks. I set my expectations as low as I possibly can but still everything is a loving hassle, nothing works right, and everyone is an rear end in a top hat. It's forced me to rearrange my life in order to avoid people, and I honestly don't want that. I want to be around people and to go out and do things and have a normal life but everyone is so broken that just doesn't seem possible anymore.  Like, in an objective sense, I haven't actually been hosed with in public, but I also go out of my way to avoid people and my instinct since I was a kid was to be invisible. "everything is a loving hassle, nothing works right, and everyone is an rear end in a top hat. " is exactly how I feel most days.
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May 11, 2022 03:00
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got ghosted by a therapist lmao. tried to set up an appointment for a telehealth intake screening; never got confirmed, didnt get a link for the call, tried calling the office and got voicemail
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May 11, 2022 16:27
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Goobish posted:I freakin HATE that so much. I am out like, easily at least 4 grand right now because I had to take unpaid family leave (which was goddamn hard enough paperwork to fill out), and even though my works short term disability is retroactive, I cannot find the time/energy/mental clarity/doctors to fill the loving poo poo out. Doesn't help that I'm back to being extremely exhausted after work, to the point I literally be in major debt and no savings, than loving even try to figure out the short term disability paperwork and also find a doctor who actually gives a poo poo ever. Didn't mean to vent in your direction dear goon sir, but it is just majorly BS I can currently relate to right now. My brain is completely different now than in the beforetimes too. So that makes it extra frustrating. No worries Goobish, I had a emergency leave thing before my final burn out, in retrospect it should've been my wake up call but i trudged through another 4 months just hurting myself more. Personally I think my brain has continued a downward spiral. It was pretty fragile but the trumpenreich and all resistance to it getting utterly owned pushed me over the edge. Having my first case's final appeal get denied during the summer of 2020 just put me in a red haze that didn't lift until a few months ago. At this point I'm mostly trying to keep mom and dad from shooting at the immigrants that walk through here on a nightly basis. We're in a situation where 'only' getting arrested by la migra is the happy ending :shep:. Between that and the resurgance of the right everywhere to 2016 charlottesville levels has left me in despair. Been taking my meds but it ain't helping, its the external stressors that are primarily killing me.
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May 12, 2022 06:30
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StashAugustine posted:got ghosted by a therapist lmao. tried to set up an appointment for a telehealth intake screening; never got confirmed, didnt get a link for the call, tried calling the office and got voicemail that sucks but who knows what was happening. i am reminded of a time i saw a therapist who had suffered a blow to the head that morning and was obviously woozy. she should not have gone into work that day but was unusually candid that session and told me i had nice legs so maybe it was something like that. if it was an intake screening they didn't even know you well enough for it to be a rejection
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May 12, 2022 15:14
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yeah i actually got it sorted out a bit later, just missed confirming the intake call and i've got an appointment for next week. perhaps therapy works on dark souls rules and complaining on the internet is key to advancing
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May 12, 2022 15:26
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i have also found a therapist who i think will be adequate after the last 3 attempts were disasters (insight-based depth psychology grift therapist; lightweight stunned by the depths of my suffering therapist; checked-out jobber not expecting any improvement therapist) - i need someone who will agree with me that the world is poo poo and getting worse and guide me toward being a functional human being regardless. i think of it as being a single cell carrying on its functions for as long as possible as the body dies around it, not because it has any transcendent meaning but because it's the way entailing the least suffering (suicide sucks for the immediate social environment)
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May 12, 2022 17:16
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I very much relate to that. I don't think I'll put up with anyone else who treats the entire problem as being on my end. So many things are hosed, and you don't need a genetic predisposition to any mental illness to struggle. I don't think I would have ever attempted suicide if it wasn't for the constant stream of gaslighting and guilt tripping I received for struggling with capitalism.
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May 12, 2022 17:41
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Uganda Loves Me posted:I very much relate to that. I don't think I'll put up with anyone else who treats the entire problem as being on my end. So many things are hosed, and you don't need a genetic predisposition to any mental illness to struggle. I don't think I would have ever attempted suicide if it wasn't for the constant stream of gaslighting and guilt tripping I received for struggling with capitalism. Yeah like, my ADHD would be more manageable or not a disorder at all if I wasn't responsible for keeping like 7 different critical objects on my person at all times and have to appear in different parts of a congested city on an exact timetable every single day.
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May 12, 2022 19:15
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Witeldram posted:Exercising did wonders for me. Going to the gym in the morning helped establish a routine in my day (and prevented me from spending my morning holed up in my bedroom depressed). I've also been pursuing other hobbies that have been beneficial for my mental health. I started gardening last summer and I really enjoy it, having these small projects and responsibilities to pour your energy to has definitely been helpful for me. I've been going to the gym off and on and generally preventing weight gain etc I can't help shaking the feeling that it's making my mental health worse. I don't want to spend every other day in exhausting physical pain and I can't handle the mental pain that goes with dreading and then regretting going to the gym.
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May 13, 2022 08:32
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War and Pieces posted:I've been going to the gym off and on and generally preventing weight gain etc i think you may not be exercising with good form if you're in exhausting physical pain from workouts usually the best workout for weight maintenance (and to me at least best for mental health) is running, where the usual advice is Born to Run posted:Think Easy, Light, Smooth, and Fast. You start with easy, because if that's all you get, that's not so bad. Then work on light. Make it efforthless, like you don't give a poo poo how high the hill is or how far you've got to go. When you've practiced that so long, that you forget you're practicing, you work on making it smooooooth. You won't have to worry about the last one - you get those three, and you'll be fast.
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May 13, 2022 14:49
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thinking of loving my therapist, but in a worker empowerment sort of way
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May 14, 2022 09:25
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My buddy cosplays as a ninja turtle, and somehow met Vanilla Ice. He dances onstage to the ninja rap. We went to a concert last night, and got to go backstage. Met Vanilla Ice, DJ Kool and Coolio. It was surreal, and I'm still riding high. Also, thanks to you all, NAMI is no longer driving me crazy!
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May 14, 2022 16:15
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Tulip posted:i think you may not be exercising with good form if you're in exhausting physical pain from workouts lmao I can't run a quarter mile without getting winded
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May 14, 2022 19:27
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War and Pieces posted:lmao I can't run a quarter mile without getting winded I started running in July 2021 after not having done so since high school. I did the C25k plan and the first week was just 60s of running, 60s of walking, 8 times, and it was a significant struggle for me. By the end of the plan I found doing a full 5k in about 28 minutes pretty easy. All of that is to say that I am not saying you NEED to become a runner and certainly don't ignore what your body is telling you, but barring some very significant medical problems, building up baseline endurance to "a couple miles" is very achievable. It's much easier than building muscle mass, for example.
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May 14, 2022 19:49
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Jorge Bell posted:thinking of loving my therapist, but in a worker empowerment sort of way 
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May 14, 2022 19:54
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Hey thread apropos of nothing here is some good advice I once got: if doing something is stressful for you and doing that thing isn't necessary, stop doing that thing. That's why I use paper plates instead of freaking out about washing the dishes. It took another grown rear end adult giving me explicit permission to realize that is a okay thing to do. skooma512 posted:Since I'm thinking about it. Here's a couple gems from that person. drat that lady sounds like a huge bitch, sorry she made your concert less enjoyable. Jorge Bell has issued a correction as of 20:19 on May 14, 2022 |
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May 14, 2022 20:14
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Heh, my health's going down the shitter again, and nothing ever gets better. Refusing to worry or do anything about it has been, in itself, the best thing I've ever done about it. It doesn't matter to anyone else if I live or die, and nobody ever helps, so... I was just stressing myself out for no good reason. The surgeons did predict I was going to have abysmal quality of life, and, uh, they are really competent. I feel like I should worry and rage, but... instead I just feel content. I will suffer and die due to my disease, and I couldn't do anything about it if I wanted to. But I no longer want to.
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May 14, 2022 20:22
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Jorge Bell posted:
This is an absolute game changer. Except when your trash bag has one too many, and the bag rips. Ripped trash bags will trigger an internal meltdown for me.
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May 15, 2022 04:05
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endlessmonotony posted:Heh, my health's going down the shitter again, and nothing ever gets better. Gotta be realistic about what you can control. It ain't worth much but I think your posts and perspective have been valuable and enlightening.
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May 15, 2022 04:44
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Tulip posted:Gotta be realistic about what you can control. It's super frustrating, realizing how much the people around you stop caring about your problems (and you) about some weeks in. I get it, it's a downer, and I could certainly use a break, but I'm decades in and there are no days I can neglect care. Everyone else was done accepting my death long before it's going to happen. Well, the one that sticks anyway. No matter how much help I get new problems are going to keep cropping up, too, and that's something people can't handle either.
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May 15, 2022 04:57
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endlessmonotony posted:It's super frustrating, realizing how much the people around you stop caring about your problems (and you) about some weeks in. I don't know anything about your condition and prognosis (and i apologize if you've mentioned it before because my memory is terrible) but definitely make sure you have a medical advance directive in case your health suddenly deteriorates. You do not want to end up as one of the many eternal technically-alive vegetables that populate ICUs and hospice care joints. It's probably a fate worse than death. that's the best piece of advice i can give as a lovely poster online
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May 15, 2022 05:16
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Raine posted:I don't know anything about your condition and prognosis (and i apologize if you've mentioned it before because my memory is terrible) but definitely make sure you have a medical advance directive in case your health suddenly deteriorates. I'm going to continue to not take care about any of those things. I'd like to live before I've planned out my death, but that doesn't seem to be an option.
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May 15, 2022 05:50
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endlessmonotony posted:I'm going to continue to not take care about any of those things. I mean it's sound advice for a healthy person too lije everyone should probably have one in case they get hit by a truck tomorrow
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May 15, 2022 12:25
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im a whiny rear end in a top hat
fanfic insert has issued a correction as of 19:45 on May 15, 2022 |
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May 15, 2022 17:30
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War and Pieces posted:I mean it's sound advice for a healthy person too lije everyone should probably have one in case they get hit by a truck tomorrow yeah i can't speak to Finland but in the US not having any advanced directives can have pretty dire consequences and it's definitely a "better to have it and not need than than need it and not have it" and no matter how healthy you are now, you're gonna get sick and die at some point endlessmonotony posted:It's super frustrating, realizing how much the people around you stop caring about your problems (and you) about some weeks in. grim poo poo maybe i just hang out with very morose people but i'm used to people being fairly comfortable discussing death, maybe its just growing up with nurses and discussing end of life stuff when i was like 20, pretty disappointing and frustrating that the people in your life aren't able to handle The Most Human Experience with some grace
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May 15, 2022 19:28
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Tulip posted:yeah i can't speak to Finland but in the US not having any advanced directives can have pretty dire consequences and it's definitely a "better to have it and not need than than need it and not have it" Well, the upside is that they aren't in my life anymore. And I don't really connect with new people, making that a self-solving problem. Also I'm going to do exactly jack and poo poo about my advance directive. What's the worst that can happen, I'm stuck in a worthless pile of meat, doing nothing meaningful, in horrible pain, spending all my days in the same place, thinking about how horrible the world is?
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May 15, 2022 21:52
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endlessmonotony posted:Also I'm going to do exactly jack and poo poo about my advance directive. What's the worst that can happen, I'm stuck in a worthless pile of meat, doing nothing meaningful, in horrible pain, spending all my days in the same place, thinking about how horrible the world is? you'll have tubes shoved in every orifice and will most likely be unconscious until they finally let you die, which can be years sometimes an advance directive isn't even something you have to put effort into getting, just tell your doctor the next time you see them "do not intubate or perform cpr on me" it's a way to go out on your own terms, basically saying "just let me die, rear end in a top hat" in advance e. related 
Raine has issued a correction as of 23:09 on May 15, 2022 |
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May 15, 2022 23:04
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Raine posted:you'll have tubes shoved in every orifice and will most likely be unconscious until they finally let you die, which can be years sometimes I will continue to not care. Maybe they'll embalm me with microplastics while I'm still alive, so I can become the religious icon the new generations deserve. #deathgoals
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May 16, 2022 00:10
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Not giving a poo poo about any of this poo poo has been exactly what I needed to instead do poo poo I want to do rather than preparing for my disease loving me up. Because no matter how much I prepare, my disease will gently caress me up eventually. I would like to have lived before it comes, but I'm still paralyzed and visibly disabled, so y'know, fat chance.
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May 16, 2022 00:16
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endlessmonotony posted:Because no matter how much I prepare, my disease will gently caress me up eventually. Just out of curiosity would you feel comfortable sharing what your disease is? I am curious, but of course no pressure to.
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May 16, 2022 01:34
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thehandtruck posted:Just out of curiosity would you feel comfortable sharing what your disease is? I am curious, but of course no pressure to. Trying to figure out what it is is going to fail because I've actually got multiple diseases that interact. The one causing the most pain and disability right now caused a spinal cord injury in my neck. The one most likely to kill me eventually (without treatment, it would already have killed me, with treatment the disease course is uncertain but will get bad eventually) causes something very similar to type 2 diabetes, and complications are the most likely reason for me to grow worse. Anything further than that would identify the exact rare diseases and I don't exactly want that.
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May 16, 2022 02:02
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May 16, 2022 04:19
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endlessmonotony posted:Trying to figure out what it is is going to fail because I've actually got multiple diseases that interact. Thanks for sharing. Best of luck to you.
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May 16, 2022 06:45
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well got my first appointment with a therapist in like seven years tomorrow
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May 17, 2022 00:47
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Nice! That's really cool
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May 17, 2022 02:37
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Well done! Hope it goes well! Anyone experience feeling really irritable and angry in the morning, then it just slides into deep sadness by the end of the day? It's become a consistent thing for me, and I've had no success breaking the pattern. Have been on an SSRI for ages, and I'm wondering if it's not enough anymore.
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May 17, 2022 03:25
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Failson posted:Well done! Hope it goes well! lmao it's called being an adult
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May 17, 2022 04:27
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Failson posted:Well done! Hope it goes well! Thanks all. I have occasionally wondered if all my mental issues could be attributed solely to coffee highs and crashes
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May 17, 2022 04:33
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