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If you never drank until you passed out and then woke up in a hostel / phone booth / under a park bench and had to be carried onto the boat were you ever really in the navy?
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May 15, 2022 22:53
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As long as you don't pick a fight with the Royal Marines, it's all good 
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May 15, 2022 23:11
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babyeatingpsychopath posted:I've got an ISSN (Hopefully IS3 by then) who's also going who may need some gentle shepherding. I think having him in your sphere for his very first AT would let some of your Blessed Reservist rub off on him. PM his name I’ll chat with him for sure.
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May 15, 2022 23:22
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titties posted:If you never drank until you passed out and then woke up in a hostel / phone booth / under a park bench and had to be carried onto the boat were you ever really in the navy? Does the trolly station in front of BDubs in downtown Norfolk count?
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May 15, 2022 23:23
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Anita Dickinme posted:Does the trolly station in front of BDubs in downtown Norfolk count? Yes. Also i miss Norfolk. When i was attached to subron support i was the only E4 working for the 1LT who was allowed in the section leader rotation. I basically had my pick if i had to stand quarterdeck watch, so i always choose the chief's barracks. The door was controlled by a buzzer and there were only 2 residents in the building so you could get away with anything. The building manager's office was connected to the quarterdeck but since it was distinct from the quarterdeck nobody ever complained about the TV which was set on a chair just inside the door. So many nights i showed up to that watch with my ps2, ordered a pizza, and just hung and played video games and gorged myself on junk food. Most of the time you didn't see a single person and the ones you did see did not give a single poo poo what you did because they were a 45 year old chief who lived in the barracks. titties fucked around with this message at 23:54 on May 15, 2022 |
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May 15, 2022 23:41
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I like Norfolk enough to stay here rather then go back to Tennessee when I got out. When my daughter graduates from the CDC and goes to school I’ll be moving down to Chesapeake because I love it down there. 
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May 15, 2022 23:57
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Anita Dickinme posted:I like Norfolk enough to stay here rather then go back to Tennessee when I got out. When my daughter graduates from the CDC and goes to school I’ll be moving down to Chesapeake because I love it down there. Damning with faint praise.
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May 16, 2022 00:04
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Crab Dad posted:Yeah but last I drank at fleet week I blacked out in about the first hour of Liberty at the killary rose after getting off the Staten Island ferry and woke up back on the ferry with another e5, two passed out chiefs and a pair of O3s. The E5 was freaking out because we were gonna miss curfew but I pointed out if we carried a chief in I don’t think anyone would care. Yeah by the same token, if you pick your Captain up from amongst cardboard boxes and trash in an alley in Puerto Rico nobody cares that you're also drunk and past the expiration of liberty. "Yo does that homeless guy look like the Captain" "hah yeah real funny" 2 minutes go by "Uh I think we should go back and take a second look." titties posted:If you never drank until you passed out and then woke up in a hostel / phone booth / under a park bench and had to be carried onto the boat were you ever really in the navy? I probably told it in the Coast Guard thread but I woke up blackout drunk in the Captains chair of the wrong cutter once. It's a right of passage really.
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May 17, 2022 01:00
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Elendil004 posted:I probably told it in the Coast Guard thread but I woke up blackout drunk in the Captains chair of the wrong cutter once. It's a right of passage really. Please please tell us more. 
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May 17, 2022 01:16
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Captain of my first boat nearly went over the side in Malaga while crossing the gang plank after a particularly heavy night of drinking
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May 17, 2022 01:27
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Anita Dickinme posted:Please please tell us more. So we'd been at sea for 28 days. Which for us, a 270` Medium Endurance Cutter was a long time. We're steaming with the Kearsarge battle group and doing wargames and stuff (during which we sunk (simulated) a (real) Submarine with our 76mm gun which was fun). The wargames are their own set of stories. Anyways, we pull into Manta, Ecuador (you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy) with the Hamilton, a 378' High Endurance Cutter (the different class of ship will come up later). We get secured around 3pm and have to be underway at 9am. The State Dept comes on and briefs us and tells us that the police are all corrupt, don't let them stop you. Literally run from the police, find a military police they're ok. Don't go more than two blocks from the pier or you'll die. So the "authorized liberty area" was two blocks, which included only one bar, The Cadillac Bar. One of our Chiefs gets them to agree on a special, 3 shots of Jaeger and 1 local beer (Brahma, I think). 80 dollars later I think to myself "I should stop drinking." I check my watch, it's 9:30pm. Now I don't think I drank all the shots, since it was 3 at a time I would grab the two people nearest me and split it, but then so would others. It was chaos though, the XO was dancing on a pool table with a topless nonrate . The Radio Chiefs from each boat got into a bloody fist fight over whos OS' were more leet. Etc. I remember sitting down on a bench to rest for a second. Then I blink and daylight streams in. I panic, patting myself down. Glasses, Check, Wallet, Check, Phone, Check. Ok I'm in one piece. I sit there a full five minutes going "I'm in one piece so I'm ok". Then I slowly wonder where I am. I look out through tall windows and see the flight deck of my ship. I almost cheer. I'm on the boat, this is GREAT! Everything is GREAT. Quick lesson for those not familiar with Coast Guard Cutters.  The astute among you may have realized quicker than my drunk rear end did. If I can see the flight deck of my ship through bridge windows I'm on the wrong ship. I panic, and instead of going down outside the ship where I could like...see poo poo. I delve into the innards of a ship I am entirely unfamiliar with. I'm smashing into knee knockers, I'm saluting people (I'm still drunk at this point if we're being honest) in the corridor. I stumble onto their mess deck mid breakfast and keep making my way aft. Finally spilling out near the gangway. I manage to salute and drag myself off the ship. I limp up the dock to my ship, find my locker and completely fail to put on a uniform top. I mean I get one arm in then just flail about aimlessly. Finally I tug on some paint covered coveralls and force my legs to carry me to the bridge for my Special Sea Detail station. I get to the bridge, both port and starboard trashcans have someone heaving into them. From the sound-powered phone to the CIC I hear vomiting (my roommate, at the time, actually). I manage to pull up the correct track-line on the ECDIS and slump in the chair trying to look small. Not sure if the Navy does it, but we did a GAR (Green-Amber-Red) assessment before any big evolution. Basically, how risky is this across a few factors, 1 to 10, 1 being no risk/no factor, 10 being holy poo poo complete risk. It starts normally enough, "Evolution Complexity?" the poor Ensign in charge of the detail asks. "3" someone mutters, half in a trashcan. "Crew Fitness?" nobody answers...I look up "Ten". The XO gasps. He gets halfway into the following sentence "Petty Officer Elendil if you are unfit for this mission you needed to take it easy last night---" before the Captain lifts his hat, which had been pulled low to cover his completely bloodshot eyes. "Gordie" he says to the XO "We're all too drunk for this bullshit. Yourself included. Who up here had duty last night and is sober?" A few hands pop up around the bridge. One of the seamen pokes his head in from the smoke pit "sir?" The captain points to the sober members of the crew, "You got the Conn, you got helm and throttles, you're lookout, let's get the gently caress out of here." It's the quietest special sea detail we ever had, the OOD from last night who has the Conn now just watching the ECDIS and driving the track-line. No fixes are plotted, no callouts, just driving out to the sea-bouy. Once we're in open ocean, on this Tuesday I think, the captain gets on the 1MC, calls it a Sunday routine and heads below. I don't think we saw him till night orders came out. The irony being when we traveled north a month or two later, the Navy offered us another Manta port call, like a fee, extra day in port. The Captain asked for a crew vote and we voted to stay underway rather than return to that place.
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May 17, 2022 02:04
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Elendil004 posted:So we'd been at sea for 28 days. Which for us, a 270` Medium Endurance Cutter was a long time. We're steaming with the Kearsarge battle group and doing wargames and stuff (during which we sunk (simulated) a (real) Submarine with our 76mm gun which was fun). The wargames are their own set of stories. Sounds like a goddamn good CO.
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May 17, 2022 02:09
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Crab Dad posted:Sounds like a goddamn good CO. I'd sail with that CO.
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May 17, 2022 02:12
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Wibla posted:I'd sail with that CO. He was a good dude. He wasn't the one we found drunk in PR, that guy was a lump, but my first CO was 100% solid.
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May 17, 2022 02:19
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I once got dragged back to A-School after realizing bars in Chicago didn't close until 4AM. Things happen. e: I did return the favor by dragging back a dude twice my size after the Steelers beat the Seahawks at the Super Bowl in 2006. SquirrelyPSU fucked around with this message at 02:34 on May 17, 2022 |
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May 17, 2022 02:23
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Elendil004 posted:So we'd been at sea for 28 days. Which for us, a 270` Medium Endurance Cutter was a long time. We're steaming with the Kearsarge battle group and doing wargames and stuff (during which we sunk (simulated) a (real) Submarine with our 76mm gun which was fun). The wargames are their own set of stories. This is one of the greatest sea story I have ever heard. Thank you. My BDubs in downtown Norfolk the night before my first underway wasn’t too noteworthy. Just got drunk there and lost my buddy, who was apparently sitting right next to me, so I naturally go outside to look for him and pass out next to the bench at the little trolly island. Then busted my chin in the berthing on a knee knocked hard enough that my entire division was around me trying to figure out how to make sure I wasn’t about to get a ARI. So they drag an HM out of their rack and bring them to my berthing and he stitches me up on the couch. Luckily I was drunk enough that I couldn’t feel poo poo. Woke up to like fifty bloody rags on my pillow. Luckily ABEs don’t do poo poo for pulling out so I got to chill while suffering in the shop with a rag pressed against my chin. Still have a great scar.
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May 17, 2022 02:56
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titties posted:If you never drank until you passed out and then woke up in a hostel / phone booth / under a park bench and had to be carried onto the boat were you ever really in the navy? not me personally, but I've had to rescue such people
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May 17, 2022 03:07
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Elendil004 posted:So we'd been at sea for 28 days. I am genuinely curious how many people from each command were still on the wrong cutter when both put to sea, and were quietly shuffled back and forth via small craft or helo after the hangovers cleared. Not going to ask you to speculate, though.
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May 17, 2022 03:35
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Lemniscate Blue posted:I am genuinely curious how many people from each command were still on the wrong cutter when both put to sea, and were quietly shuffled back and forth via small craft or helo after the hangovers cleared. Honestly nobody. I think we got underway late due to some shuffling though. We had a solid quarterdeck check-in system you had to swipe your CAC through so we had good accountability thank god.
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May 17, 2022 03:52
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Elendil004 posted:So we'd been at sea for 28 days. This is a fantastic story. e: I'm not a CG expert, but your story implies that not only did you wake up on the other ship, but you woke up on the bridge of the other ship? SquirrelyPSU fucked around with this message at 13:23 on May 17, 2022 |
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May 17, 2022 12:51
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SquirrelyPSU posted:This is a fantastic story. In their captains chair, yes. There's no way I stumbled up there drunkenly, I am sure people from that ship were like "yo this is gonna be funny lets leave him up here." Which honestly, bravo, I would have 1000% done the same.
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May 17, 2022 14:39
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Elendil004 posted:In their captains chair, yes. There's no way I stumbled up there drunkenly, I am sure people from that ship were like "yo this is gonna be funny lets leave him up here." Which honestly, bravo, I would have 1000% done the same. And thus explains the differences between the Navy and the Coast Guard. My favorite CG story: We only had one cutter pull in while I was in Everett (WA), and there was a little shack at the end of the pier where you could get a computer and a beer or whatever. Chief goes to the barman and asks for a case of beer and takes it back to the smoke deck, and is given, no questions asked. I show up maybe an hour into and it turns into this random close-down-the-tavern thing. Pretty sure it was a weekday. e: My favorite Navy drunken story was when I was Petty Officer of the Watch on the Quarterdeck and nearly got ordered to go take the duty van to collect the CO and his compatriots in San Diego. (Promotions had just got announced). SquirrelyPSU fucked around with this message at 15:30 on May 17, 2022 |
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May 17, 2022 15:22
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SquirrelyPSU posted:And thus explains the differences between the Navy and the Coast Guard. I thought the main illustrative difference was having a CO we all respected who also was a human and respected us.
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May 17, 2022 15:36
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Elendil004 posted:I thought the main illustrative difference was having a CO we all respected who also was a human and respected us. My point was a joke, but I agree with you.
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May 17, 2022 15:38
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Being a not-drinker, I always missed out on the best of shenanigans stories, but there was a dude who got in a bar fight in Marseilles and wound up breaking his hand on a wall during the process. He came back aboard and stood feed pump watch with a surgical glove filled with crushed ice on the injured hand (because that's what the duty corpsman gave him). It didn't seem to slow him down, even having to start up the steam-powered pumps that involved a lot of vigorous cranking on an oil pump to get them going. I'm pretty sure he was still under the influence a bit, but hey, incident-free startup. I wrote that bit into a novel because really, how could I not?
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May 17, 2022 17:45
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Point Mugu needs to be renamed NAS Fallout. I assume the Navy keeps the satellite stuff there because the base looks like it's already been hit by a nuke.
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May 21, 2022 03:10
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Folks enjoyed my drunk story so here's another sea story from that same UNITAS patrol. So, first off it's important to know that while we often carried an embarked Helicopter, on this part of the journey our ship did not have a helicopter embarked. We had broken off from the Kearsarge task force/task group/battle group (whatever we called them) to do some counter narcotics stuff off the Galapagos. We had this kid, Klunder, a seaman who was a total surfer dude. Would always seem high, said bro a lot, etc. Not a bad SN but just a space cadet fully half the time. He was on lookout, middle of the day, I'm up relieving the Quartermaster for lunch. Now, as a chow relief I won't lie to you I didn't really pay too much attention to the pass-down. I got to the bridge, the on-duty QMOW said there was nothing going on and laid below. I did a quick look around, there was nothing nearby, weather was fine, and basically was just going to hold down the fort until I could go back to watching Sex in the City. Out of nowhere, we hear a helicopter. Loud as gently caress and look to the starboard side and 100' off our bridgewing is a helo with the pilot pointing rapidly backwards. In the door is a guy with a sign that says "243 in the Green!" (I think I was 243, it was a standard radio channel for ship to air). I'm like 'gently caress is this supposed to be happening? I should have paid more attention!' This wasn't our helo, but it was a Coast Guard helo. A lot of things happen at once. The officer of the deck yells at SN Klunder "You didn't fuckin see that coming and think to call it out!" Klunder says "I figured you heard it". I scramble to turn one of the radios over to 243 and I wish I could say I used proper protocol and military bearing but I am pretty sure I just said "Go ahead?" They quickly tell us that they've lost their ship and need to land to refuel, right away. The OOD and I look at each other he's like I'll call the wardroom you start setting Flight Quarters. Which is funny because as soon as I started piping for Flight Quarters, the Captain ran out of the wardroom. Remember, we didn't have a helo so he thinks this is some drill or something and he's pissed 1) nobody told him, and 2) in the middle of lunch, cmon. Once he hits the bridge and sees the helo he is less pissed and more confused, but luckily once the OOD tells him they need fuel he's onboard. We didn't have a WQSB set up for Flight Quarters so luckily at this point I was thinking clearly enough to improvise and just piped that all qualified LSOs and HCOs and Tie Down and refueling party members should lay to and it would be first come first serve. I think we set it in record time. We landed them first try, on fumes, gave them some gas and food. In typical tradition, we got to cover their helo in stickers before sending them limping back to their ship.
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May 21, 2022 04:09
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CONNECTICUT grounding report is out https://www.cpf.navy.mil/FOIA-Reading-Room/#release-181682
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May 24, 2022 03:55
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is the tl;dr that the guy got micromanaged into a failure?
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May 24, 2022 04:05
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The ANAV didn't want the NAVHAZARDs to be marked on the chart because then they would have had to station additional watchstanders to operate near them
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May 24, 2022 04:20
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Cerekk posted:The ANAV didn't want the NAVHAZARDs to be marked on the chart because then they would have had to station additional watchstanders to operate near them 
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May 24, 2022 04:54
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Cerekk posted:The ANAV didn't want the NAVHAZARDs to be marked on the chart because then they would have had to station additional watchstanders to operate near them I'm not a boat genius but it seems like that's the opposite of what you want to do in every way possible
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May 24, 2022 06:38
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On my flight to fleet week NYC. Hit me up if you in town too.
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May 24, 2022 14:18
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Cerekk posted:CONNECTICUT grounding report is out They gave an Officer credit for the one great thing I've ever done in the Navy, typical. (Identify that there was not a loss of PLO, and 4MC'd maneuvering before we lost propulsion)
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May 24, 2022 16:39
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On a bus to Waikiki to shop and inevitably drink. I'm the guy in incredibly short swim trunks and a pink short-sleeved button-up. It is not buttoned up.
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May 25, 2022 01:44
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Waikiki is awful why would you ever??? Oh wait the clothes make sense now
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May 25, 2022 02:12
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I rather liked Waikiki and had a lot of fun there. If I was in Hawaii I would meet up with you but I am stuck in windy, stinky, central Oregon.
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May 25, 2022 02:36
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I have to find this sweet spot where I can have some fun off ship and my wife doesn't worry too much. I accomplish this by going to tourist traps and dressing like the love child of Miami Vice Don Johnson and Andy Bernard.
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May 25, 2022 03:27
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Just go downtown where the food is better and there's fewer tourists and stupid haircuts. Edit: I want Lucky Belly so bad rn
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May 25, 2022 04:51
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Mr. Bad Guy posted:On a bus to Waikiki to shop and inevitably drink. I'm the guy in incredibly short swim trunks and a pink short-sleeved button-up. Nice. Enjoy your time in the sun.
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May 25, 2022 05:37
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