r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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ascii genitals: Aug 19, 2000

wow using Pot thats crazy

# ? May 24, 2022 16:28

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# ? May 29, 2024 21:05

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

pidan posted:

To play devils advocate, maybe she pictured him going to a local Japanese tailor and picking out a suitable one with the nice old lady shopkeeper, and instead he just typed "Asian costume" into Amazon and bought the first thing that came up.

maybe the boyfriend was enscorcelled by a druidess into making a poor choice. this would presumably be because he had cheated on his girlfriend with the druidess, and she (the druidess) is angry that he didn't mention he was in a relationship when they hooked up. so yeah, he's the rear end in a top hat here.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:29

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Baron von Eevl posted:

Even if this was a trap akin to "do I look fat in this" he whiffed it in a bold new way. It's like responding to that question with "you sure do, you loving cow."

We've been through this, there are even times where this is appropriate.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:30

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Nice one from Ask Amy:
Ask Amy: Mother feels blackmailed into supporting daughter and daughter’s reckless fiancé

DEAR AMY: My daughter just announced her engagement to her boyfriend, “Clay.”

They are both heavy pot users. Clay is also a convicted felon (for selling narcotics), a college dropout, and has psychiatric and physical health problems.

He picks up occasional work but cannot and does not support her. He can barely support himself. He has terrible hygiene.

Worse yet, he seems to be incredibly reckless. He has totaled three cars in three years.

My husband and our other children insist that I must support my daughter’s life choices, but I cannot bring myself to. I see only pain and poverty in her future.

We raised our beautiful daughter in an upper middle-class family, sent her to private college and on European trips.

We supported her 100 percent over the past year while she successfully undertook and excelled in a prerequisite program to start a three-year (online, part-time) master’s degree toward a new career.

She recently got a minimally-paying job and wants us to continue to help support her while she moves forward with grad school and the boyfriend.

Her siblings have said that if I don’t support her choices, I will lose contact with all of them.

I feel like I’m being blackmailed into watching a horror movie play out. My heart is broken. If I cut off my daughter financially, she’ll hate me.

If I don’t support her relationship with her boyfriend, they’ll all hate me.

My husband, who wants to retire soon, wants me to at least support her relationship, and is willing to tell my daughter to take loans and support herself.

Could you weigh in?

- Heartbroken Mom

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I see a distinction between “support” and “accept.”

Yes, you should accept your daughter’s choice because she is an adult and she has the right to make terrible choices.

If you accept her, must you also “support” her? Absolutely not.

She may need to experience the reality of living a marginal life - far from her upper-middle class privilege - in order to make a choice about it.

If she continues with her graduate program and you can afford it, you might choose to pay only her school bills (directly to the school). If she completes each semester successfully, you can choose to pay for the next semester. This would be extremely generous. She and “Clay” will then have to work to support their living expenses - as countless adult couples are expected to do.

Invite them over for dinner, include them in family events, and yes - you may be forced to face and tolerate your disappointment in your pot-using daughter and her choice in partner, but until she is forced to face her own choices and disappointments, she will never be inspired to perhaps choose differently.

that's a pretty poo poo response

# ? May 24, 2022 16:37

exmachina: Mar 12, 2006; Look Closer

Arsenic Lupin posted:

And now, a breathtaking scenic journey to r/fuckHOA

HOA was basically dormant for 23 years and now is under new management

Wait I thought an HOA was sort of like a private city council, with people elected to the position? I am not from USA, and I am kinda confused

# ? May 24, 2022 16:44

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA because I said I have no sympathy for my sister over a beauty treatment gone wrong?

quote:

My sister (Rachel) had freckles tattooed on her face for a beauty treatment. It was not makeup, it was a tattoo. I myself thought this was ridiculous however it is Rachel's face and not mine. I was in disbelief when Rachel first had the treatment done because most of my face and body are covered in freckles and until very recently Rachel was not above teasing me and calling me names over it. It was a lot worse when we were younger, both from Rachel, her friends and in general but it didn't stop when we grew up. So much so that when I was in lower sixth I asked my girlfriend at the time to teach me to cover them. Being a bloke using cosmetics led to a lot more teasing and I look back feeling like a fool because although I did cover them on my face they are all over my body and it was obvious.

My confidence was always knocked from the bullying and having to have it at home didn't help either. The freckles, the makeup and being ginger all made me a target. I don't so much care now. Going to uni and meeting new and diverse people helped me to make friends. So did my time in the RAF which got me into good shape and led to me making more friends. Of course Rachel only got them tattooed across her cheeks and nose and not all over herself. They have turned blue as they faded. She has a difficult time covering the blue freckles using cosmetics. It is possible but lots of tines they still show unless she uses lots. She's tried to have them lasered off but so far the laser treatments have not made any difference so far. Rachel is obviously unhappy with how this all turned out and she says her confidence has taken a knock over it. On my last visit my mum was saying how badly everyone feels for Rachel. I told her and dad I'm not sympathic to her at all Rachel was not present when I said, just mum and dad. I haven't said this to Rachel because I do have manners. Doesn't mean it isn't the truth and I feel it.

After being teased and called names even at home and having Rachel's mates in on it at her encouragement or having Rachel's boyfriend thrash me about sometimes I am finding it hard to muster any sympathy. I realize being a freckled covered ginger is far from the worst thing in the world now but back then I was often on the receiving end of it and thought of to be a freak. It was difficult and lonely, I don't mean to be dramatic but it's the truth. I find it difficult to have compassion as hard-hearted as seems.

My mum and dad are still quite angry at me for what I said even though Rachel wasn't present and they wish me to change my mind and show Rachel sympathy over her predicament. Even if Rachel's confidence has taken a knock it doesn't change how I feel personally. My parents though are insistent that I amend my feelings and show grace and are quite adamant about it. It makes my visits to them uncomfortable and tense right now let me tell you.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:44

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Hot take if you're dating someone for 4 years you should probably know at least a little about them. Japan and Korea aren't homogenous inscrutable cultures and the styles are pretty distinct.

Not buying the right kimono? Totally understandable given the post. Buying a hanbok? Nah, gently caress off.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:45

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Squashing Machine posted:

I think it's a good idea to keep your partner on their toes by randomly laying traps in your relationship, such as asking them to buy you an extremely culturally specific item of clothing without your direct input. We've come a long way in fight-generation tech since the invention of "do I look fat in this"

Nowadays they can just farm ideas from TikTok. I'm sure the "relationship test" section of that service has produced more break-ups then dating apps.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:46

vonnegutt: Aug 7, 2006; Hobocamp.

Charles Get-Out posted:

Hot take if you're dating someone for 4 years you should probably know at least a little about them. Japan and Korea aren't homogenous inscrutable cultures and the styles are pretty distinct.

Not buying the right kimono? Totally understandable given the post. Buying a hanbok? Nah, gently caress off.

Yeah exactly. If you know that you don't know enough about it to make an informed purchase, you don't buy some random thing. Offer a shopping trip as a gift instead and let her pick.

The reaction of "What's the difference?" to your Japanese girlfriend is basically the worst possible response.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:50

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

exmachina posted:

Wait I thought an HOA was sort of like a private city council, with people elected to the position? I am not from USA, and I am kinda confused

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than a HOA.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:51

The Moon Monster: Dec 30, 2005

Baron von Eevl posted:

Even if this was a trap akin to "do I look fat in this" he whiffed it in a bold new way. It's like responding to that question with "you sure do, you loving cow."

TBF it's difficult to look either fat or not fat in a hanbok.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:52

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Kuros posted:

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than a HOA.

it's like if school admins followed you home after you graduated and kept being stupid at you

# ? May 24, 2022 16:52

Judge Schnoopy: Nov 2, 2005; dont even TRY it, pal

Kuros posted:

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than a HOA.

They solely exist to homogenize the neighborhood into the image of the HOA members, typically being entitled upper middle class old white people. If you are not that, you are their target to remove from the area in the name of 'house market value.'

# ? May 24, 2022 16:55

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

AITA not letting my parents move with me, because I don't want to give up my pets' room?

quote:

I (37F) am not close to my parents (65F e 67M). One of several reasons is their control and I always hated that. Even living alone, they wanted to control and it took several years (of therapy) to almost completely cut them out of my life and I have lived in peace for 7 years.

I don't intend to have children, I don't intend to get married and live together (even dating), so my expenses are with me and my 4 pets (2 dogs and 2 cats). They live a life of luxury, honestly, because I have a job that pays well.

I have a 3bd/3ba house, the two suites I use for bedroom and office. The spare room is for my pets.

The entire room is modified, several things on the wall for cats, beds, toys, a door that leads to the backyard. (I like to sleep completely alone and in peace, which has already proved ineffective when sleeping with all of them).

My parents only visited my house once and before my pets (the oldest is 4 years old). So really, at the time, there was an empty room.

Last week my parents called me saying they lost their house (financed and delayed a lot of installments) and asked if they could stay in the spare room.

I said that only the living room would be available, they could sleep on the floor (mattress) or sofa (very spacious and comfortable), as the free room became my pets' room.

They started to get angry, saying that pets could sleep in the living room instead of them and that it is extremely disrespectful to offer parents, even worse elderly people, to sleep in the living room on the floor or sofa while pets could do it.. In addition to complaints about my lifestyle and the fact that I have a pet room.

I got angry and said my house was not open to them.

Since then, I've been being bombarded by their messages saying that they're in a hotel (spending what they shouldn't) and next week they'll go to a shelter, because I uninvited them and preferred my pets over not leaving them homeless. Other relatives couldn't help and they didn't bother me either, because they know the pain in the rear end that my parents are.

I already blocked them, but would like an outside opinion.

AITA?

Extra: I don't help them financially as I have been the target of emotional blackmail in the past because of it and would rather it not happen again.

A rare twist where other relatives aren't on OP's case about this. Her parents must be a real nightmare.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:57

ChickenDoodle: Oct 22, 2020

Piell posted:

AITA for being livid at my (now) husband?

Sure sucks to find out someone doesn�t respect you after you marry them. At least there�s time for an annulment!

# ? May 24, 2022 16:57

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Piell posted:

AITA for being livid at my (now) husband?

Shouldn't be too late for an annulment.

e:fb like that guy should have been

Absurd Alhazred fucked around with this message at 17:05 on May 24, 2022

# ? May 24, 2022 16:58

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

I wonder of the neighbors hired this management company entirely because his guy is a second generation terrible neighbor.

# ? May 24, 2022 16:59

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Baron von Eevl posted:

I wonder of the neighbors hired this management company entirely because his guy is a second generation terrible neighbor.

nah

HOAs are weasled into, not chosen

and having a restored fire truck and restoring sirens doesn't necessarily mean they're blasting them

# ? May 24, 2022 17:02

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA not letting my parents move with me, because I don't want to give up my pets' room?

A rare twist where other relatives aren't on OP's case about this. Her parents must be a real nightmare.

It's almost hard to conceive of how bad the parents must be if not a single aunt/uncle/cousin is giving her the 'But fAmILy' pitch.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:03

The Moon Monster: Dec 30, 2005

hawowanlawow posted:

nah

HOAs are weasled into, not chosen

and having a restored fire truck and restoring sirens doesn't necessarily mean they're blasting them

I feel like it would be a pretty singular person who's into restoring sirens but not actually running them.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:04

Solenna: Jun 5, 2003; I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

Piell posted:

AITA for being livid at my (now) husband?

Next time they're near a swimming pool or a fountain or a big puddle she should just shove him in. Especially if he's wearing nice clothes.

"I thought it would be funny, quit being so sensitive"

# ? May 24, 2022 17:11

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Close, except instead of pool or puddle it should be highway

# ? May 24, 2022 17:12

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA not letting my parents move with me, because I don't want to give up my pets' room?

A rare twist where other relatives aren't on OP's case about this. Her parents must be a real nightmare.

The US is pretty heartless, but at least there are few homeless elderly people. How are their combined social security checks not enough to pay rent somewhere?

# ? May 24, 2022 17:25

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

is that not because they die really quickly when homeless

# ? May 24, 2022 17:26

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

The US is pretty heartless, but at least there are few homeless elderly people. How are their combined social security checks not enough to pay rent somewhere?

I mean unless they were completely upside down on the house there should be SOME equity there too.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:26

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Their SS is being garnished, I'll let you guess why.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:27

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

DandyLion posted:

Their SS is being garnished, I'll let you guess why.

How is possible? The only think I can think of is not paying taxes.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:35

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

pentyne posted:

How is possible? The only think I can think of is not paying taxes.

OP posted:

Last week my parents called me saying they lost their house (financed and delayed a lot of installments)

Going to hazard a guess that taxes were also left unpaid.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:38

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Google says it can only be taken to pay Federal taxes, alimony, child support, or court order restitution.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:41

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

exmachina posted:

Wait I thought an HOA was sort of like a private city council, with people elected to the position? I am not from USA, and I am kinda confused

Lots of HOAs will hire management companies to take care of stuff for them. The company still answers to the board though.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:42

thotsky: Jun 7, 2005; hot to trot

Buy your own kimono?

Don't let people buy you poo poo if you care a lot about what sort of gift you're going to get. Or give them a link to the exact thing or whatever.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:44

The Moon Monster: Dec 30, 2005

thotsky posted:

Buy your own kimono?

Don't let people buy you poo poo if you care a lot about what sort of gift you're going to get. Or give them a link to the exact thing or whatever.

I mean yeah but asking for a kimono and getting a hanbok is still pretty funny.

# ? May 24, 2022 17:50

pidan: Nov 6, 2012

Yeah it's funny because both of them are dumb

# ? May 24, 2022 17:53

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

She didn't specifically tell him Korea and Japan are different, so how was he supposed to know?

Was he supposed to have gathered this basic fact from dating her for 4 years? Going to Japan several times? Not being a moron?

# ? May 24, 2022 18:07

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA because I said I have no sympathy for my sister over a beauty treatment gone wrong?

Lmao "amend your feelings on this, you're not allowed to feel things and express them"

# ? May 24, 2022 18:08

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

A very common tactic is for a tiny group of huge assholes to manage to do a sort of coup or takeover of a HOA. If the HOA has 100 houses representing 300 people, but only 50 or so ever bother to vote or pay attention to the HOA it's very easy for a little well organized group to take it over and it's always the sort of people you do NOT want running a HOA that have the spare time and passion to do this sort of thing.

But even people like that don't want to be totally hated in the community, so they'll hire some hardass HOA management company to act like a middleman. It's not your neighbour Bob telling you he's decided you deserve to be fined $450 a day for having non-standard plant pots on your front yard, it's that darn HOA management company they had to go with. It gives them just enough deniability to not become pariahs and lets them say bullshit like "Gosh sorry about the pots, I'll try to talk to the management company we hired, they're pretty strict eh?"

# ? May 24, 2022 18:10

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

Charles Get-Out posted:

She didn't specifically tell him Korea and Japan are different, so how was he supposed to know?

Was he supposed to have gathered this basic fact from dating her for 4 years? Going to Japan several times? Not being a moron?

what a baka gaijin, very baka imho

# ? May 24, 2022 18:11

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA because I said I have no sympathy for my sister over a beauty treatment gone wrong?

like, putting a bunch of dots on with makeup every day was just too onerous? or maybe she was afraid someone would notice her freckles were slightly different each day? i'm not really seeing a good case for getting a freckle tattoo, esp with the whole "turning blue eventually" factor

e: oh hey she could just drink a bunch of colloidal silver so that her freckle tattoo looks right again

Foo Diddley fucked around with this message at 18:16 on May 24, 2022

# ? May 24, 2022 18:14

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

exmachina posted:

Wait I thought an HOA was sort of like a private city council, with people elected to the position? I am not from USA, and I am kinda confused

It is, and this story is at best a confused 22 year old kid, who sounds like "that neighbor" talking about a house he doesn't own. At worst it's an outright fake, and I'm leaning that way because it's just performative rage bait posted to a subreddit where that's what's expected.

# ? May 24, 2022 18:16

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# ? May 29, 2024 21:05

tired gay and dead: Apr 4, 2022; by Hand Knit

The weird anti-japanese racism from cringey goons over-correcting away from being japanophiles is always a little uncomfortable for me honestly. It's pretty bad to date a Japanese person for 4 years and then ask her what the difference is between Japan and Korea.

# ? May 24, 2022 18:17

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