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Found in the Schadenfreude thread https://twitter.com/hoodfightsbruh/status/1528436425888174081?s=20&t=RJelevDbYvFi3lGAK-EvIw
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May 28, 2022 01:46
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 04:33 |
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Phanatic posted:bootcloak.jpg I had a cape about 12 years and 20 pounds ago and looked fantastic in it. Found it balled up in a duffel bag while prepping for a move recently. My wife thought I threw it away years ago (and honestly, so did I) but the precious always finds its way back, the precious does.
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May 28, 2022 02:14
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If I knew capes were a thing, I would have worn one just to piss off my command. Instead, I found a way to avoid wearing my dress uniform everytime.
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May 28, 2022 02:54
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Softface posted:Found in the Schadenfreude thread Ahhh, the ol' Danny Bonaduce.
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May 28, 2022 03:30
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I just got my purple belt in BJJ this week gonna add that move to my game
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May 28, 2022 14:04
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You can find my new instructional video on what I'll be calling shaft guard hosted on youtube next week if you search "Secret Army Special Forces Death Grab Technique"
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May 28, 2022 14:08
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military swordchat: in the olden days, there is a tradition in the army signal corps that the youngest enlisted soldier and the youngest officer in the signal corps cuts the cake with sabers at the signal ball in ft gordon ga. i happened to be the youngest enlisted soldier in the army at that time the youngest officer was desperately trying to impress and i was just 17 and way out of my depth. so they gave us the swords, and I turned to the young butter bar and casually asked, "should we duel? en guard" he was like "no please be quiet" "way to wuss out sir" he became my platoon leader the next week. ait was not enjoyable
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May 28, 2022 14:56
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What a dink, that sounds hilarious.
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May 28, 2022 15:17
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i was a stupid kid. but sword chat and dress uniform chat made me remember that
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May 28, 2022 15:20
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SMEGMA_MAIL posted:I just got my purple belt in BJJ this week gonna add that move to my game Realtalk congratulations on that achievement and please don’t hurt me
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May 28, 2022 15:30
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I remember when they roughed us up to buy tickets to that loving thing (Signal Ball). It was not appreciated when I gave my opinion of how fun it'd be to dress up and go to a formal event with the same people I was forced to see at work and go to the field with. I never did a Dining In or equivalent, either. Why the gently caress would I want to get drunk in front of my chain of command? Or with my chain of command? Or do anything but the minimum amount of face time so I can go home and spend time with my family?
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May 28, 2022 15:31
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don't remember anything else about it other than my 1st sergeant and drill sergeants glaring at me while getting dragged to the c.g table and dealing with awkward 17 year old me getting grilled by the command staff of fort gordon in like 97 or something. probably said some stupid poo poo there too but hell if I remember
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May 28, 2022 15:36
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"Anyone not going to the ball will have duty the next day?" "So normal and I don't have to spend 60$ to wear my uniform in offtime?" Outside of a single incident outside of Basic training and a couple pictures, I don't know that I ever wore my class As. I did get to embarrass my PSG in the Guard.? "Who the fucks uniform is this Woody do you rate this poo poo?" "Yeah. You'd know that if you read my 201. Like you are supposed to." "Real loving smart. Guess who is doing Honor Guard tomorrow?!" "Not me, I'm on profile." And yet, I am still utterly shocked and confused at my career never getting off the launch pad.
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May 28, 2022 15:46
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bulletsponge13 posted:"Anyone not going to the ball will have duty the next day?" I got stuck as a Corps Staff Liaison Driver when I was on medical light duty. Class As or Bs and having to deal with Senators and Representatives on a daily basis. It was the worst.
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May 28, 2022 16:00
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Humbug Scoolbus posted:I got stuck as a Corps Staff Liaison Driver when I was on medical light duty. Class As or Bs and having to deal with Senators and Representatives on a daily basis. It was the worst. That sounds terrible. I just made it clear I shouldn't be around anyone important. "The General heard you say gently caress." "Has he never heard the word before?" "You can't say gently caress! It's unprofessional." "I turn people into smears as a profession, but I can't say gently caress?" "No, you can't. Not while you are assigned to the command section!" "Well, that's loving stupid." "See me after lunch for a Counseling Statement." "Roger that, Big Guy." I loved counseling statements after I learned that are meaningless. People would get mad that I'd write "I'm a direct reflection of my leadership" on negative statements, or that I had a stamp that said "Woody's Seal of Approval" with a thumbs up I would stamp them with.
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May 28, 2022 16:10
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bulletsponge13 posted:That sounds terrible. You can't counsel someone whose career goal is to collect a DD214.
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May 28, 2022 16:43
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I went to two military formals neither of which I paid for. Both times they didn't sell all the tickets so I got voluntold to go. and not gonna lie they were kind of fun. 1SG bought my beer because I was in line, I just had to get him one. Seeing my PSG and leadership drunk was actually funny. At the second one I was at the Joe table and I was hammered drunk, double fisting beers and everything. I guess SGM came over and told one of joes that we needed to keep quiet and he tried dimeing me out, bastard. Good times, and the reason I own a bowtie.
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May 28, 2022 16:47
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SMEGMA_MAIL posted:You can find my new instructional video on what I'll be calling shaft guard hosted on youtube next week if you search "Secret Army Special Forces Death Grab Technique" 
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May 28, 2022 18:03
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My wife was to go to the MI ball in DC not long after she and I had started dating and her ASUs weren't set up yet. So at great expense she and I set about to get it done. I went to the exchange to get everything she needed (rank, collar disks, unit crests, ribbons, etc), she sewed on the chevrons and sleeve braid and I attached all the other bits. It was done on time, she got in her car and drove off, and I stayed at her apartment playing Mass Effect. She came home a few hours later. I can't remember if they wouldn't let her in or if she'd been told to go to the wrong place, but either way she wasn't able to go. Still, getting her ASUs set up did pay off. About a year later she got ADOS orders because the Army Corps of Engineers needed someone to work in one of their offices near Fort Meade who had a TS/SCI clearance and most days she wore Class As. Then one day she mentioned she wished she could wear something to the office that would keep her warm but wasn't as uncomfortable to wear at a desk as her ASU jacket (which I remained in charge of maintaining as far as insignia went). "Why don't you get the sweater?" "What sweater?" So I took her to the exchange and got her the pullover sweater and her ASU jacket stayed in the closet.
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May 28, 2022 18:31
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bulletsponge13 posted:That sounds terrible. XVIIIth ABN Corps so it was worse than you can imagine. They grabbed all their liaison drivers from division's gently caress-ups or walking wounded (I was waiting on my orders for Lewis which wouldn't clear until the Docs said my leg was good to go).
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May 28, 2022 20:43
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Time Crisis Actor posted:Realtalk congratulations on that achievement and please don’t hurt me Thank you my goal is to become the next Keenan Cornelius but instead of inventing ways to use the gi to create weird worm guard moves I’m going to grab dicks
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May 28, 2022 20:50
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You'll never be as cool or as stupid as this marine https://taskandpurpose.com/news/mar...BOLgk2rJkTZln1s
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May 28, 2022 22:08
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Holy poo poo the video about that duck Sgt is metal. Saved from becoming dinner in New Zealand Participated in amphibious assault in Tarawa Received a purple heart for wounds sustained engaging and killing a Japanese chicken in beak-to-beak combat Went on a war bonds drive stateside Featured in Time magazine Died in '54 from liver disease, probably because of her lifelong drinking Goddrat Guest2553 fucked around with this message at 22:39 on May 28, 2022 |
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May 28, 2022 22:36
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Why am I unsurprised that the first decorated female marine (no, I won’t capitalize it) was a duck?
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May 28, 2022 22:43
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Not only would I have bought a cape if the AF had one, I would've gone to a loving AF Ball just to wear it. I'd have considered doing the same with a sword, but technically the only one authorized is the stupid saber the AF Academy uses, which is awful.
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May 28, 2022 23:38
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Godholio posted:Not only would I have bought a cape if the AF had one, I would've gone to a loving AF Ball just to wear it. I'd have considered doing the same with a sword, but technically the only one authorized is the stupid saber the AF Academy uses, which is awful. They call that a loving saber? Man, the USAF really can't do swords at all.
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May 28, 2022 23:51
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They don't, actually. That's the air force NCO sword. Officers use the same saber as army officers.
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May 28, 2022 23:54
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SMEGMA_MAIL posted:You'll never be as cool or as stupid as this marine He must listen to Alex Jones.
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May 28, 2022 23:54
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A.o.D. posted:They call that a loving saber? Man, the USAF really can't do swords at all.  AF out here fighting Sephiroth for your freedom and this is the thanks they get.
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May 28, 2022 23:59
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Just for the record I absolutely subscribe to the theory of inverse officer value to sword bling ratio.
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May 29, 2022 00:00
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That woman has the right idea.
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May 29, 2022 00:01
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GD_American posted:That woman has the right idea. That’s a goon’s aunt.
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May 29, 2022 00:02
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Bunch of babies not willing to rock dress uniforms.
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May 29, 2022 00:08
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McNally posted:They don't, actually. That's the air force NCO sword. Officers use the same saber as army officers. If we're gonna actually go down this road, the AF doesn't have an official sword/saber outside of honor guard duties. Not authorized beyond that. The Army saber is specified in the HG regs but isn't actually an AF thing - the lovely academy sword is the only one the AF had a hand in. I didn't really describe it very accurately because I didn't think anybody would care lol I've actually got an M1902 saber, manufactured around 1925. I should look into getting it restored, it's got some weird corrosion on the scabbard and the blade is scuffed because the inside of the scabbard isn't in good shape.
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May 29, 2022 00:15
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This thread and a few Budweisers gets the man wondering how much it would cost to have a knifemaker magic up a Kabar with a two-foot long blade. Two and a half feet of 1095 shouldn't be too difficult to work with, but the stacked leather handle might be a different story. Oh, gently caress. Go all out. The whole mall-ninja sword set, but it's just Kabars. Tanto, wakizashi, katana. Sam Browne-style belts in buff leather, red and gold tassels with stupid challenge coins hanging off the ends. What to make the display rack out of? Something idiotic and moto as gently caress. Wooden lava monster, arms outstretched, shellacked red and orange? E: the tanto can rest atop the lava monster's cock and balls. E2: engraved dick art EVERYWHERE, filled with gold crayon madeintaipei fucked around with this message at 00:45 on May 29, 2022 |
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May 29, 2022 00:42
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Crab Dad posted:Bunch of babies not willing to rock dress uniforms. I didn't know they made dress whites in your size.
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May 29, 2022 00:52
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Crab Dad posted:Bunch of babies not willing to rock dress uniforms. You have to put so much bullshit on an Army dress uniform.
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May 29, 2022 00:53
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Crab Dad posted:Bunch of babies not willing to rock dress uniforms. What's the point- to show off how many ribbons in your fruit salad? 2/3 of them are participation medals anyway in all the services. I don't get the point. The only people who should wear dress uniforms are ceremonial dudes like Sentinels. And then I want the most pompous, overdone, powdered wig tricorner bullshit. With Sabers and flintlock pistols and poo poo. I want Central African Dictators to look at them and go, "gently caress, that's a little much". I thought they were stupid, but I also think having a fresh haircut every week, starching your uniform, and shining boots are super dumb.
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May 29, 2022 01:07
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i always thought Navy whites looked sharp as f.
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May 29, 2022 01:11
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 04:33 |
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TehRedWheelbarrow posted:i always thought Navy whites looked sharp as f. The USN never should've switched to camo from dungarees. Who the gently caress needs camo on a drat ship or in a dockyard?
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May 29, 2022 01:28
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