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Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

evilpicard posted:

Arguably the best (only?) good thing about America is the park system.

Whenever I visit to go hiking I'm legit shocked at how everything in the cities is simultaneously run down and expensive as hell. (Maybe NY/NH isn't the best place though I only really drive on from QC)
Increasingly it's true everywhere I've been in the US. There are no commons or budget to maintain them in most of the country, so everything is decaying.
The gross border of skid row/police building/financial district, stood out to me in LA when I saw it for the first time around 95 or so, because it was the only place I'd really seen extreme poverty directly next to extreme wealth.
Then in the 2000's Long Beach in CA was weird for the way rich areas, middle class, and poor were all jumbled together.
Now, everywhere that wasn't built in the past decade outside of the gated enclaves seems to have homeless encampments and crumbling empty business real estate.

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Shear Modulus
Jun 9, 2010



Coolness Averted posted:

Increasingly it's true everywhere I've been in the US. There are no commons or budget to maintain them in most of the country, so everything is decaying.
The gross border of skid row/police building/financial district, stood out to me in LA when I saw it for the first time around 95 or so, because it was the only place I'd really seen extreme poverty directly next to extreme wealth.
Then in the 2000's Long Beach in CA was weird for the way rich areas, middle class, and poor were all jumbled together.
Now, everywhere that wasn't built in the past decade outside of the gated enclaves seems to have homeless encampments and crumbling empty business real estate.

america is a deindustrialized, de-developing country.

Leon Sumbitches
Mar 27, 2010

Dr. Leon Adoso Sumbitches (prounounced soom-'beh-cheh) (born January 21, 1935) is heir to the legendary Adoso family oil fortune.





evilpicard posted:

Arguably the best (only?) good thing about America is the park system.

As an American who designs city parks and is switching to work with federal parks, thank you for this.

Ruffian Price
Sep 17, 2016

the american parks and libraries feel almost unnatural, like they're grafted from what the EU pretends to be. I constantly worry they'll be taken away

Leon Sumbitches
Mar 27, 2010

Dr. Leon Adoso Sumbitches (prounounced soom-'beh-cheh) (born January 21, 1935) is heir to the legendary Adoso family oil fortune.





Ruffian Price posted:

the american parks and libraries feel almost unnatural, like they're grafted from what the EU pretends to be. I constantly worry they'll be taken away

You're right to worry.

"Threat to Bears Ears increases with drilling and mining news | The Wilderness Society" https://www.wilderness.org/articles/blog/threat-bears-ears-increases-drilling-and-mining-news

Trump Administration Finalizes Plan to Open Arctic Refuge to Drilling https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/17/climate/alaska-oil-drilling-anwr.html

I did a x-country moto trip and the only lands that weren't exploited to hell and back were state/national parks and grasslands. Every other square inch (except the deserts) was clear cut, strip-mined, fracked, monocultured, developed, and poisoned to death. You better believe there are folks salivating to privatize public lands.

Leon Sumbitches has issued a correction as of 22:46 on Jun 6, 2022

COPE 27
Sep 11, 2006

Leon Sumbitches posted:

As an American who designs city parks and is switching to work with federal parks, thank you for this.

Thank you for your service

Palladium
May 8, 2012

Very Good
✔️✔️✔️✔️

Casey Finnigan posted:

lol what does america seem like to someone who's never been here?

baizuo chinese: the seeseepee suck and i will automatically get a 6-figure pay when i say how much the seeseepee suck in the most pretty country

Leon Sumbitches
Mar 27, 2010

Dr. Leon Adoso Sumbitches (prounounced soom-'beh-cheh) (born January 21, 1935) is heir to the legendary Adoso family oil fortune.





evilpicard posted:

Thank you for your service

It's a real joy for me to be able to do it. I've got to work with some real cool trees, and everyone likes the shade.

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

America is great because at any time of the day or night I can have a cheeseburger show up at my house in under an hour

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost

Shame Boy posted:

America is great because at any time of the day or night I can have a cheeseburger show up at my house in under an hour

thats just living in a city with a pop density higher than about like 750/sq km

like, you can get this in lagos, nigeria if you wanted

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

bob dobbs is dead posted:

thats just living in a city with a pop density higher than about like 750/sq km

like, you can get this in lagos, nigeria if you wanted

Not this kinda cheeseburger, bud

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

It's got bacon and two patties and both american cheese and a bunch of nacho cheese sauce and ketchup and mayo slathered all over it. It comes with far too many seasoned fries. If there were any more calories present in the space occupied by the burger it would collapse into a neutron star.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
https://gidiburger.com/menu/

like 15 usd because lagos is like 60% of the cost of living as san francisco and wages at like, 10% of san francisco

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

evilpicard posted:

Thank you for your service

Yeah word for word what I was gonna post lol

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

bob dobbs is dead posted:

https://gidiburger.com/menu/

like 15 usd because lagos is like 60% of the cost of living as san francisco and wages at like, 10% of san francisco

They call chicken patties "burgers" :chloe:

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
colonized by the british and therefore brains broken in that way, i'm afraid

Weatherman
Jul 30, 2003

WARBLEKLONK

Shame Boy posted:

american cheese

im sure lagos is close enough to one of those industrial waste processing zones that they could get some polymer goop to put on your burger

Renaissance Robot
Oct 10, 2010

Bite my furry metal ass

Casey Finnigan posted:

lol what does america seem like to someone who's never been here?

pretend I posted that clip from Event Horizon of the crew ripping each other to pieces and screaming "save yourself from hell"

Palladium
May 8, 2012

Very Good
✔️✔️✔️✔️

Renaissance Robot posted:

pretend I posted that clip from Event Horizon of the crew ripping each other to pieces and screaming "save yourself from hell"

oh that wh40k prequel

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
it's quite amazing that there's no 'murrrca sendup among the gazillion warhammer 40k factions

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

The empire or whatever its called.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost

3D Megadoodoo posted:

The empire or whatever its called.

nah, they're english as all hell

Surprise T Rex
Apr 9, 2008

Dinosaur Gum
e: Holy Effortpost.

As someone who lives in the UK and has visited Vegas once (which I am aware is not a representative sample of the USA), I find America a very weird place. I've been tempted in the past to move there for higher computer toucher salaries in places like SF but then I consider what's actually involved in living there.

* Health insurance where you pay monthly but still have to pay for procedures anyway? And whether your blood sample gets sent to a lab in or out of your insurance network is just a loving dice roll? Whether they even cover the operation/medication you need is a total crapshoot, and you're better served "bundling" all your health issues up in one year so you hit your maximum contribution faster? lol. In the UK we pay National Insurance as part of our (automatic) taxes and that covers literally every NHS procedure, and literally all medicine is £9.50 for a prescription. If you have 100 medications on the same prescription? £9.50. If you're stuck with e.g. a lifelong Thyroid issue, you're exempt from prescription charges, and same if you're on welfare, are a minor/student, etc.

* Also healthcare: lmao at paying for an ambulance ride?! And it might not take you to a hospital covered by your insurance?!

* Basically no consistent car maintenance laws because it varies by state. In the UK we have a Motoring Ordnance Test (MOT) that every car over 3 years old has to have once per year, some problems are "advisory" like low-but-not-yet-dangerous tire tread, some are failures and your car is flagged in a national database as an MOT fail if you don't address it within a couple of weeks I think. Certain vintage cars are excepted from this but not sure the exact criteria. Also driver's education seems to suck rear end over there as well. Can't wait to get annihilated by some dude in a truck the size of a light tank because his state's driving test was "drive up this straight road and then park in that bay."

* Cut someone off in traffic? It's not 100% out of the realm of possibility that you're going to get shot by some road-raging wraparound shades-wearing dad who thinks he could have been a Navy SEAL. In the UK I have literally never seen a gun not in the hands of an armed police officer stationed outside a courthouse or something, and have never felt threated with any kind of weapon at all in the 33 years I've lived here. I will never have to explain to my future children that they may get murdered by a psychopath at school and that's why they need a Kevlar backpack and have to do active shooter drills at age 5.

* Speaking of school, lmao at having to recite the pledge of allegiance every morning. That's some Jonestown poo poo.

* Also the insanely high proportion of religious people. Went on holiday recently and my wife did some karaoke, a choir director lady from the US came over and told her to immediately join her parish choir as though we even know where our nearest church is? I've been to church for like, one wedding out of tens of weddings I've been to in my life, zero church funerals, and zero other church services that I can remember.

* lmao not including sales taxes in the price listed on things in shops. Love to add arbitrary state-variable percentages of $6.31 constantly as I add things to my basket and hope I got it right.

* Student loans actually being real loans that gently caress you forever. Over here student loans are handled by basically a government company and once you graduate the payments are automatically taken from your salary along with taxes once you earn over a threshold, and the repayment amount is based on what you earn. It effectively turns loans into a Graduate Tax.

* Speaking of taxes again. If you're a normal employee your employer will automatically handle your taxes as part of their payroll process. Your taxes are automatically deducted from your salary before it hits your bank account, based on your Tax Code (which is dependent on the type of employment you're in, etc... but never handled by you). The exception to this is if you're the director of a limited company or self-employed in some other way.

* At-will-employment. What is even the point of having any vague suggestions about why you can/can't fire someone if some states you don't even need a reason to? I used to think TV shows exaggerated the "pack your poo poo up Johnson, get out" carboard box thing. Over here your employment contract will almost 100% have a one-month notice period for them to fire you (equally for you to resign), and I've never heard of anywhere breaching that.

* Less of a thing now with streaming services, but holy poo poo the TV. A one-hour TV slot gives you like 42 minutes of a show. Over here, even on the more ad-heavy channels it'll be like 10 minutes of ads per hour. Also lol at being advertised meds like it's a new phone. Smiling old guy with hot 23 year old wife - "Ask your doctor about ultra-dik, side effects may include sudden heart explosions and permanent blindness".

Don't get me wrong, the UK isn't great either at the moment. Food banks and poverty are a huge problem right now. Brexit is making poo poo cost more. Our monthly energy bills have basically doubled and are set to go up again in October, and our entire country is run by a bunch of pricks from 1-3 specific posh boarding schools who constantly give government contracts to their friends/brother/cousins. We also seem to take the world #1 spot for pure loving transphobic moral panic bullshit which is infuriating. House prices here are just as bad as the USA, if not worse in London.

But it's weird to see American people talking about how great America is and you just know they only think that because they've never been anywhere else or spoken to anyone non-American. It's legitimately cult-like.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

bob dobbs is dead posted:

nah, they're english as all hell

America, England, they're only different things if you're English or American :shrug:

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
every single polity in the world is getting hit in the nuts by inflation. prolly the second or third most important world port (shanghai) basically shut down for 6 weeks

Palladium
May 8, 2012

Very Good
✔️✔️✔️✔️

bob dobbs is dead posted:

every single polity in the world is getting hit in the nuts by inflation. prolly the second or third most important world port (shanghai) basically shut down for 6 weeks

i think the shanghai port mainly links with the americas. i never had anything shipped from there when buying from china here in singapore; it's always from guangzhou or shenzhen

Palladium
May 8, 2012

Very Good
✔️✔️✔️✔️

Surprise T Rex posted:

e: Holy Effortpost.

now lemme tell you about how our aUtHoRiTaRiAnS demolishes public housing here in Singapore to expand our customs checkpoint after the affected households get their new replacement apartments free of charge nearby

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost

Palladium posted:

i think the shanghai port mainly links with the americas. i never had anything shipped from there when buying from china here in singapore; it's always from guangzhou or shenzhen

shenzhen locked down too, but only for a comparatively small bit

Palladium posted:

i think the shanghai port mainly links with the americas. i never had anything shipped from there when buying from china here in singapore; it's always from guangzhou or shenzhen

the basic difference between the prc and singapore is that when the usa tells spore to jump, they ask how high

(the less basic difference is that the ostensible nationalized real estate of both is real in the case of spore and laughable in the case of prc, so the re market is absolutely hosed in prc and just materially less hosed in spore. they don't got no hdb, lol)

bob dobbs is dead has issued a correction as of 10:56 on Jun 7, 2022

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


Shame Boy posted:

They call chicken patties "burgers" :chloe:
And they're right to do so. Americans are the weird ones for calling burgers "sandwiches".

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Casey Finnigan posted:

lol what does america seem like to someone who's never been here?

It was described to me as if you go there and any little bullshit or mistake happens you absolutely will be sued into turbo ruination, extreme bondage, or at least a borderline impossible court case.

This was the first concern, and it was like "yeah don't go there unless you have to"

greazeball
Feb 4, 2003



America for people who've never lived there is like Europe for Americans. They just refuse to believe that what you're saying is true and carry on with their delusions. 4 weeks holidays? You're making that up. Zero guaranteed maternity leave? No way. Etc.

Failed Imagineer
Sep 22, 2018

greazeball posted:

America for people who've never lived there is like Europe for Americans. They just refuse to believe that what you're saying is true and carry on with their delusions. 4 weeks holidays? You're making that up. Zero guaranteed maternity leave? No way. Etc.

4 weeks holidays is laughably stingy to most Europeans tho. This year I have 30 company days + a bunch of national holidays

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
0 weeks for bad jobs, 2 weeks for 'good' jobs, 'unlimited' meaning 0.5 weeks for some tech jobs, 'unlimited' meaning 7 weeks for some other tech jobs, like 4-6 weeks for the actually-good yuppie jobs

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

Surprise T Rex posted:

* Also the insanely high proportion of religious people. Went on holiday recently and my wife did some karaoke, a choir director lady from the US came over and told her to immediately join her parish choir as though we even know where our nearest church is? I've been to church for like, one wedding out of tens of weddings I've been to in my life, zero church funerals, and zero other church services that I can remember.

Most of these are valid gripes but "a nice lady asked if you wanted to join the church choir cuz you sing good" is a weird thing to complain about

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

A lot of people are members of churches or church organizations because it is an easy way to know a group of people as an adult who aren't also your coworkers and makes meeting new friends a lot easier and I try not to poo poo on it unless they're like, evangelical baptists who make it my problem.

Though one aspect of US religious weirdness that my UK friend pointed out that I totally agree is fuckin' weird is how we just like, let a ton of religious programming on TV, because apparently that's not allowed on UK over the air TV or something.

She was like "isn't this going to corrupt kids' minds" and i'm like lol kids don't watch this it's for grandmas, but still.

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

Other things she pointed out:

- Driving down the interstate felt like "capitalism was screaming" at her constantly due to there being a billboard every 200ft.
- Outside of the middle of cities America is a wasteland of strip malls that goes on forever and that she could never orient herself in, though I pointed out a lot of that is just specifically Florida.
- Long John Silvers is a weird alternate universe fish and chips shop that gets the chips wrong and the fish terrible but the breading really good.
- Literally everything has corn in it, even things you don't think have corn in them. She's allergic to corn.

Gorson
Aug 29, 2014

bob dobbs is dead posted:

0 weeks for bad jobs, 2 weeks for 'good' jobs, 'unlimited' meaning 0.5 weeks for some tech jobs, 'unlimited' meaning 7 weeks for some other tech jobs, like 4-6 weeks for the actually-good yuppie jobs

The less vital you are the more paid time off you get. Managers get the most time off.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Shame Boy posted:

Other things she pointed out:


- Outside of the middle of cities America is a wasteland of strip malls that goes on forever and that she could never orient herself in, though I pointed out a lot of that is just specifically Florida.

Why you lying to the nice girl?

Renaissance Robot
Oct 10, 2010

Bite my furry metal ass

Shame Boy posted:

Most of these are valid gripes but "a nice lady asked if you wanted to join the church choir cuz you sing good" is a weird thing to complain about

Please remember that Surprise T Rex is British so "a stranger talked to me" is an indescribably shocking event that will probably haunt them until they die

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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
My sister spent six months travelling the US and she said the things which stayed with her the longest were just how run down everything was and all the homeless people everywhere.

'Faded glory' and all that.

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