r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

The best part of that post is the homicide-detective level of interrogation by separating the suspects, comparing stories, and offering incentives for one of them to rat out the other.

Law & Order: Single Family Home

# ? Jun 7, 2022 16:31

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# ? May 29, 2024 15:47

boofhead: Feb 18, 2021

Hard to say if YTA without knowing if they have ever done that "you can tell me the truth, I won't get mad if you just tell the truth (and then immediately get mad at the truth anyway)" thing which just encourages children to learn that their parents are full of poo poo. Also feels like they could/should have been upfront about what's at stake in terms of punishments for the act itself vs lying about it, it's always a clusterfuck when you have tiered/unequal punishments

Although I don't have kids and don't want them so what do I know

e: vv fair point!

boofhead fucked around with this message at 16:59 on Jun 7, 2022

# ? Jun 7, 2022 16:37

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I don't know if saying "if you don't lie and you get this punishment and if you do you get this punishment" ahead of time is a good idea, because the lesson that is supposed to be imparted is that lying and deceit result in unintended and unknowable consequences and viewing lying as a tactical decision is not a good mindset

# ? Jun 7, 2022 16:45

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

The Bramble posted:

The best part of that post is the homicide-detective level of interrogation by separating the suspects, comparing stories, and offering incentives for one of them to rat out the other.

Law & Order: Single Family Home

Yeah, I respect the canniness of the mother, and I don't respect the daughter's failure to recognize when she's lost and unwillingness to negotiate favorable terms of surrender. Maybe she takes after her father more, he sounds like a rube.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 16:47

Skutter: Apr 8, 2007; Well you can fuck that sky high!

A combination of IOSM thread and this one. "You shouldn't be mean to Disney adults because they treat Disney like a religion so that makes their behavior okay"

https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1533909820453142530

# ? Jun 7, 2022 16:49

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for changing party plans "last minute" to spite my half sister?

From comments:

quote:

I'm honestly thinking of uninviting her. At my graduation she pulled a fire alarm in the venue lol

# ? Jun 7, 2022 16:54

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Skutter posted:

A combination of IOSM thread and this one. "You shouldn't be mean to Disney adults because they treat Disney like a religion so that makes their behavior okay"

https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1533909820453142530

quote:

Professor @LehighU
* Author, PAINTED POMEGRANATES AND NEEDLEPOINT RABBIS * Jewish Studies * #disney nerd * #materialreligion

Wow, what a shock.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 16:54

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Skutter posted:

A combination of IOSM thread and this one. "You shouldn't be mean to Disney adults because they treat Disney like a religion so that makes their behavior okay"

https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1533909820453142530

https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1534185173394276352

Lol, how do you get this close to the point and not realize it

# ? Jun 7, 2022 16:57

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

AITA for telling my sister nobody owes her motherhood?

quote:

My oldest sister is 40. She always wanted to be a mom but some complications meant she was never able to be a biological mom. In her 20s she met a widower with young kids and married him, admitting her intention was to become a mom through them. Her stepkids were never okay with her like that and for the last 16 years she has struggled to come to terms with the fact not one of them considers her their mom or embraces her like she would like. This is something she always complains about when she's around our family, especially me and our sisters.

Three years ago one of my sisters was expecting her third child and she was going through a lot and struggling with her pregnancy. She wasn't sure they could handle a third child and worried about financials because her husband had a new job that paid less than his old one (the old one folded a few months before that) and they had already made adjustments to factor in the new household budget. My oldest sister harassed her for months about letting her adopt the baby, going as far as going to our BIL about it and telling him she wanted the baby and he should talk our sister around. It never happened but it did harm her relationship with the rest of the family.

I gave birth to my second child in November and had a procedure to make sure I had no more kids. Both my pregnancies have been awful on my body, and I didn't want to risk putting myself through that again. My sister brought this up last week. She said I was selfish to sterilize myself before offering to be a surrogate for her and that I could have given her my youngest to adopt at the very least. I told her I wanted my kids so I would never ever give one of them up like that. She said her dreams of motherhood were important. I told her nobody owed her motherhood though and the way she was carrying on was wrong, and concerning, and she had brushed aside our concerns before, but she needed to get some help because she can't keep demanding others give her kids. She flipped out and started screaming that as her family we should want to help her reach her dream of motherhood and we should be more understanding because she gets poo poo on by her stepchildren and doesn't get any of the joy the rest of us have.

We have been sensitive for years. We encouraged her to speak to someone countless times. But she keeps going on like this and it is concerning. Her marriage has felt the strain of it all. But I know I might have been harsh saying we didn't owe her motherhood which is why I'm here.

AITA?

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:10

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Broken brains and withered souls

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:10

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Captain Hygiene posted:

https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1534185173394276352

Lol, how do you get this close to the point and not realize it

Completely excruciating people

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:16

Cool Dad: Jun 15, 2007; It is always Friday night, motherfuckers

I mean the Disney as a religion thing fits, I also don't want to go to church or hear about going to church from people obsessed with religion, but at least if you have your wedding at church you'll probably spring for food. Although if you have to pay extra for Jesus and Mary cosplayers to show up maybe not.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:18

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Danaru posted:

Completely excruciating people

Oh, so it is a real religion.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:19

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for telling my sister nobody owes her motherhood?

why wouldn't she just adopt from somewhere else

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:20

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Andrast posted:

why wouldn't she just adopt from somewhere else

(A) expensive and difficult (unwed women no longer demanded to relinquish babies)
(B) "not my blood"

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:23

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Cool Dad posted:

I mean the Disney as a religion thing fits, I also don't want to go to church or hear about going to church from people obsessed with religion, but at least if you have your wedding at church you'll probably spring for food. Although if you have to pay extra for Jesus and Mary cosplayers to show up maybe not.

I've never heard of that at a wedding, but I did find this engagement photoshoot so I'm probably wrong!

e: I like the last one on its own, it's like "Nice to meet you Jesus. So, what brings you out here here?"

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:23

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Jesus is literally wearing a bathrobe ... over a collared shirt?

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:24

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Skutter posted:

A combination of IOSM thread and this one. "You shouldn't be mean to Disney adults because they treat Disney like a religion so that makes their behavior okay"

https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1533909820453142530

Mickey Mouse is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. He is the opium of the people.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:25

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

because she thinks the blood bond will mean her somewhat bio kids won't find her an insufferable chore to be around

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:42

Coca Koala: Nov 28, 2005; ongoing nowhere; College Slice

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Jesus is literally wearing a bathrobe ... over a collared shirt?

The Dude abides, but he can still dress up a bit for the occasion.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 17:43

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for telling my sister nobody owes her motherhood?

Wonder how young the kids were, and if they had a good relationship with their mom, because it sounds like OP's sister married that guy because the kids came as a package deal. I'm assuming it was day one "I am your mother and you can't talk to me like that" which went over like a wet fart.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 18:13

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Jesus is literally wearing a bathrobe ... over a collared shirt?

seeing another man's chest hair who's not your husband is a sin

this includes Jesus

# ? Jun 7, 2022 18:19

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

"Disney is a religion" lady just kept on going like the Longines Symphonette. https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1533909829722558464

# ? Jun 7, 2022 18:21

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

"Disney owns our stories"

Yeah, about that

I love her defense of the wedding couple not feeding people as "breaking a social contract" but isn't a big deal because tons of other Americans are hurt worse every day.

Almost like some group, or organization, or assembled throng of people who strongly believe in something should care about that and hurting people would be considered a Bad Thing.

pentyne fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Jun 7, 2022

# ? Jun 7, 2022 18:25

Party Ape: Mar 5, 2007; Don't pay $10 bucks to change my avatar! Send me a $10 donation to Doctors with Borders and I'll stop posting for 24 hours!

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Do...do you think people do things in the military because they like their commanding officers?

There are so many colonels and so few general slots that it's pretty rare for someone completely unlikeable or socially inept to get up.

In uniform, most of them are socially savvy enough (at least for the military) to repress most of their terrible personality traits and keep the live grenades from bouncing into the tent.

That being said, like all veterans, a reasonable chunk immediately turns into entitled right wing dipshits on retirement.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 18:54

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for how I reacted to my boyfriend's friend playing a "loyalty test" trick on me?

quote:

I'm in a relationship with Mark, and he has a friend Jake who I didn't know too well. Jake seems like the "douchey bro" type.

So I was out with my friends, venting to them about trouble I was having at work.

And this guy I didn't recognize comes up to me like "hey baby" I'm already having a bad day so I just go "Nooo" and turn away

He persists though and is like "You here with anyone?" And I point to my friends and go "Yeah, I'm trying to talk to them"

He still doesn't gently caress off and asks if I have a boyfriend. He also touches my waist which.. ick. I go "scuse me" and walk to the door, where I tell the bouncer.

The bouncer goes to talk to him and the guy starts going 'It was just a loyalty test". I have no loving idea what that is and think he's full of poo poo. He was obviously just trying to hit on me and not take no for an answer. So I say so, and the bouncer tells him to go home.

Now, Jake, my boyfriend's friend, walks over and seems to know this random guy. And he says to the bouncer that it was a loyalty test and he put him up to it.

While I recognize Jake, I still have no loving idea what a "loyalty test" is and honestly don't loving care. So when the bouncer asked me if I wanted them out, I just said "Yeah, they're bullshitting you"

Well, he tried to escort them out and Jake and this other guy talked back and ended up kicked out and told not to come back.

My boyfriend texted me back asking what the hell had happened, he heard from Jake that I'd just had him and his brother banned permanently from their favorite bar.

I said that this blonde guy who must be Jake's brother kept trying to get with me, and wouldn't gently caress off so I got the bouncer. Then they got argumentative with the bouncer and got kicked out.

I also said that Jake seemed like a poo poo friend if he was fine with letting someone else hit on his friends girl

My boyfriend told me that the guy hadn't really been hitting on me, Jake had put him up to "test my loyalty". Which he thought was immature but it was "just like Jake" to do.

I realized it was a setup of some sort, Jake was ... For some reason, trying to see if I'd sleep with his brother? Like a trap to catch me cheating?"

I got angry with my boyfriend and said that if he knew , why didn't he shut that poo poo down in advance?

He said that he didn't know he was going to, he just meant once he found out, it did "sound like him"

I told him that he better not bring Jake around me again, that poo poo was creepy.

He said that Jake was a close friend and he wasn't willing to cut him off. And he felt like I was "overreacting" some having him and his brother banned from the bar and saying I wasn't ok having him around anymore.

I said I wasn't overreacting, I wasn't gonna be around some guy who thought it would be funny or whatever to play those games like a child.

AITA for how I reacted?

# ? Jun 7, 2022 18:56

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

actually the bouncer is the one who banned them from the bar because he was doing his job

# ? Jun 7, 2022 18:59

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for how I reacted to my boyfriend's friend playing a "loyalty test" trick on me?

Well, they tested his loyalty and he passed so mission accomplished I guess

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:06

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for how I reacted to my boyfriend's friend playing a "loyalty test" trick on me?

Hell yeah, get them all banned from the bar.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:08

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for how I reacted to my boyfriend's friend playing a "loyalty test" trick on me?

Hopefully this relationship is over (op/bf or bf/Jake, I'm not picky), but at least op has a place to go if she wants to avoid Jake.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:08

Captainsalami: Apr 16, 2010; I told you you'd pay!

Zzulu posted:

Broken brains and withered souls

I want this on a t-shirt

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:09

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Don't pathologize fanatic disney adults because their fanaticism is kind of like some of the worst aspects of organized religion, so it's actually good.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:11

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Captain Hygiene posted:

I've never heard of that at a wedding, but I did find this engagement photoshoot so I'm probably wrong!

e: I like the last one on its own, it's like "Nice to meet you Jesus. So, what brings you out here here?"

what a missed opportunity to have a picture of Jesus carrying one or both of them footprints-in-the-sand style

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:14

Alchenar: Apr 9, 2008

Hey a superchurch just wants a tithe in exchange for life everlasting, Disney will take all of your money for 30 minutes with a sweaty guy in a costume and there isn't even any sex

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:14

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Baronjutter posted:

Don't pathologize fanatic disney adults because their fanaticism is kind of like some of the worst aspects of organized religion, so it's actually good.

In summary,
https://twitter.com/MugaSofer/status/1534141318695464960

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:25

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Cool Dad posted:

I mean the Disney as a religion thing fits, I also don't want to go to church or hear about going to church from people obsessed with religion, but at least if you have your wedding at church you'll probably spring for food. Although if you have to pay extra for Jesus and Mary cosplayers to show up maybe not.

Aren't priests basically apostle cosplayers

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:28

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for how I reacted to my boyfriend's friend playing a "loyalty test" trick on me?

It's just a ~~prank~~ loyalty test bro

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:30

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

keep max webers name out your fuckin mouth

durkheim on religion is also a much better classical connection in terms of secular designations of sacrality! you idiot!

sugar free jazz fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Jun 7, 2022

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:32

Canuckistan: Jan 14, 2004; I'm the greatest thing since World War III.; Soiled Meat

Disney as a religion predicted in 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SV_njZdEdw

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:45

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# ? May 29, 2024 15:47

Nerdlord Actual: Apr 14, 2007; Awaken to your true self with Wisconsin Potatoes; Grimey Drawer

I (25F) screamed at my Chinese MIL, who is living with us indefinitely and is also undermining most of our parenting choices. I am afraid our relationship can't recover from this. How do we move forward?

quote:

Long story, tl;dr at the bottom.

For context, I am Mexican-American and fluent in Chinese, and my in-laws are Chinese mainlanders.

My in-laws have given us everything. When my son (1 yo) was born, we flew my MIL in from China to help us take care of the baby. Getting her here was very difficult and expensive due to covid restrictions, and we had no idea how nearly impossible it would be to send her back. (Due to China's zero-covid policy, sending her back will currently cost us anywhere from $10K to $20K, and there are a LOT of barriers to even attempt getting on that flight.) The current plan was to send her back next May.

Anyway, as I stated before, my in-laws have given us everything (house and never-ending support), and I feel indebted to them. Since my MIL arrived, she's done a lot to help, but she's also said a lot of hurtful things. Commenting on my appearance, my family, my language, my people... etc. I chose to ignore most of those things; however, I did break down in front of her once after she commented on my smile or my weight, can't quite remember. She got much better after that and stopped commenting on my looks. Then the war in Ukraine broke out, and things only got worse from there. She's pro-war, and my husband and I are not. She's extremely anti-West, and we are quite to opposite. We have a no-politics rule in the house; however, sheabsolutely LOVES talking about politics, especially if it involves trashing the West and Westerners. This has created SO much tension.

The issue we are having now is with parenting. She seems to always have an opposite idea to mine. For example, if I say nothing is allowed in the baby's crib, she will give me a bunch of reasons as to why there should be a blanket and a pillow and actually go against my decision. If I say no to carrying the baby to sleep, she will argue as to why she can't just put him down, and carry the baby to sleep. Our 1 year old still needs to be rocked to bed during naps because of this. If I say no cookies, she will sneak a cookie in and have some reasons why one cookie is okay. If we say no fruit before bed, we will find the baby covered in watermelon juice right before his bedtime. I can name countless examples, and my husband and I are FED UP. He has gotten into multiple arguments with her to avoid me getting into arguments with her. As nice as we try to be, our annoyance is written all over our faces, and the atmosphere in the house has been awkward pretty much since the war.

The cherry on top for me was yesterday when we decided to start weaning the baby out of the bottle. My husband and I agreed to take away the morning feeding first and replace it with milk in a cup. When breakfast time came, the baby was screaming and crying because he saw his bottles on the counter and wanted one, but we stuck to a firm no. My MIL, on the other hand, started complaining about how we picked the worst time to take away the bottles (he's got a cough). She kept making her argument, until I got pissed off and put my chopsticks down, stood up and left the table, and moved the naptime playpen out of her room and into our room. (We were about to start working, and due to the layout of the house, we use her room as an office and our room as the baby's sleeping room.) I was pretty aggressive in moving the crib, not really giving a crap about hitting the walls around me, but also not intentionally hitting stuff. I was really angry at her once again for undermining my parenting decisions, and I didn't want to be at the same table listening to her reasons anymore.

At this point, she got up and followed me into our room and was holding my son and yelling at me. She said she spent all morning preparing breakfast, and how dare I just bolt out of the dining room, is what she said really worth me getting so angry? She said I hadn't even given her a basic amount of respect, and that I was treating her like an uneducated village woman who is there to just cook and clean. She screamed, "Do I look stupid to you!?" about five times. I was raging with anger inside, but I was trying my best to contain it. My body was shaking so much that I couldn't even pick up objects. I said, "I don't want to talk to you anymore." This pissed her off even more, and she ran out of our room screaming at my husband saying that I was being disrespectful; at this point, my FIL was on Facetime bc my husband wanted a third witness so the story doesn't get changed later, and also to try to calm her down. When I came out of the room, she was telling my FIL what was going on--still yelling--and pouring a bottle of milk for my son... just like we had told her NOT to do. That's when I got in her face and shouted at the top of my lungs, "Do whatever you want, after all, you never listen to anything I say. I feel like I am this kid's sister, not his mom!!!!!" She scoffed, and that pissed me off even more. So I yelled one more time, "DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!! I've put up with ENOUGH, and I've reached my limit with you." At this point, I don't know what she said back (it was all a blur), but I started to say that I hoped she could just leave already, but I was only able to get out, "I hope you can..." and then my husband started throwing plates on the floor to get us to STFU. This effectively stopped us screaming at each other, but left us all standing in a room full of glass. (For context, my husband is not an abusive or violent person; however, I think he's been stuck in the middle for about a year now, and he finally lost it.)

After cleaning up with my husband, I ended up leaving the house with our baby all day, and haven't spoken to her since then. I told my husband I'm willing to take out basically all our savings to send her back, and I don't care if we go broke hiring a nanny. He feels stressed about being left with almost nothing in our emergency fund, but also wants to send her back. His father thinks we can all talk it out, and worries about us financially if we decide to send her back. I honestly don't want to talk it out, but I feel like an ungrateful daughter-in-law because they have done so much for us.

I've tried to stand in her shoes and truly understand her; she's been stuck with us for a year with a nearly impossible way to get back, hasn't seen her husband or friends, doesn't drive... etc. I honestly wouldn't be able to do what she's doing, and I feel indebted to her. She's a great grandmother, a selfless mother, and also--despite her flaws--a great MIL. However, I also feel that no amount of help and good deeds can justify 1) her undermining 75% of my parenting choices and 2) her hatred for the West and Westerners.

The only thing my husband and I both deeply regret is exploding in front of our child. We don't know how to move forward from this. How should I approach the conversation that's bound to happen, and should we use all our money to send her back or learn to live with each other for one more year.

Tl;dr: My MIL undermines most of our parenting decisions, my husband and I finally lost it. She yelled at me first for leaving the table after she had cooked, I screamed in her face, and my husband broke a bunch of plates. Don't know what to do.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 19:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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