EVE 2021: Much Abloo About Dr. Who

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > The MMO HMO > EVE 2021: Much Abloo About Dr. Who

Dalmuti: Apr 8, 2007

Twigand Berries posted:

*cough funny to catch people getting nostalgic but is goonfleet.com still there I hope it is and if so is my little play I wrote still in the Goldmine? Is there still a goldmine? It's probably the best thing I ever wrote and I'd like to read it again. PM it at me or post it here in the thread I'm proud of it

the play where dbrb sucks mittani's penis

Come join us in helldump

# ? Jun 6, 2022 05:33

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 20:55

GSV Fuck Your God: Aug 27, 2003; small-l liberalism

Twigand Berries posted:

*cough funny to catch people getting nostalgic but is goonfleet.com still there I hope it is and if so is my little play I wrote still in the Goldmine? Is there still a goldmine? It's probably the best thing I ever wrote and I'd like to read it again. PM it at me or post it here in the thread I'm proud of it

the play where dbrb sucks mittani's penis

INT. SOME SORT OF GEEK/LAWYER HYBRID'S LOVELY HOUSE - WINTER IN CHICAGO - NIGHT

A party is in progress. Party is loosely defined here as it is 98% ugly men consuming alcohol and wiping cocktail sauce from their 4XL black t-shirts. Loose groups of chatting nerds are throughout the house. Camera pans in on a small group gathered around THE MITTANI who is talking of sabres.

He has his audience of two or three fawning nerds entranced. Although other conversations nearby are loud and filled with emoticons actually being spoken aloud, MITTANI'S voice is clearly heard with impeccable enunciation.

Having finished regaling another group with some sort of fabricated story, DBRB enters view from left and joins the half circle around MITTANI who is casually leaning against the wall, one leg drawn up, balancing on the other; a common pre-larp/pre-gothic dance stretching exercise for him. He continues his explanation:

MITTANI
(smugly)
....which is why AWU V is particularily important on this sabre fit. Furthermore, it frees up...

DBRB
(interrupts abruptly)
Yeah, I did that in Cloud Ring last year. I used that sabre fit and just absolutely raped....

MITTANI
(flicker of annoyance briefly flashes across his face, but he almost instantly recovers, his face settling upon an absolutely blank expression, a certain steeliness is still visible in his eyes.)
(coldly)
Excuse me, DBRB?

DBRB
(surprised to be cut short during another stupid loving story, but smiles at his beloved CEO)
Yes, Mittens?

MITTANI
(emotionless)
Do me a big favor, please, and perform fellatio on me.

Small giggle from nerd listening in.

DBRB
(confused)
What?

MITTANI
(leans towards DBRB)
I (pause) want (pause) YOU (emphasis, pause) to suck my cock until I cum into your mouth.

DBRB nervously laughs. Nearby conversations taper out as more nerds turn to listen to this fresh development.

MITTANI
(voice, still coldly robotic, increases in volume)
I'm quite serious. In fact, if you don't start sucking me, and well, mind you, you will become permabanned and booted from Goonswarm this very night. This very loving night. And not one of our allies will accept you. You will be blacklisted. Your experience in EVE will effectively end, reducing your small real life to almost nothing.

As this is being said, DBRB'S face undergoes much emotional turmoil, running the gamut of fear to abject horror until finally settling on a nervous smile, for this exchange reminded him of his wrestling days, when his team mates would mash his face into their buttocks and groins in homoerotic, but joking and playful, displays of bonding and friendship. DBRB has decided this is just such an instance of the same type.

MITTANI drops his other leg to the floor, and stands straight.

MITTANI
(sudden anger)
Stop smiling, fat man! I'm serious. Get on your knees now.

DBRB laughs and drops ponderously to his knees, looking left and right, catching the eyes of a now substantial crowd of goons. He is letting them know, by his compliance, that he is in on the "joke".

DBRB
Har Har Har. How much iskies do I get?

MITTANI
(snarls)
Shut the gently caress up!
(face becomes calm again, continues in a quiet, cold tone)
Now, undo my pants.

DBRB'S face is now flushed in embarrassment. His eyes dart up to the faces of the crowd of nerds, who are watching this in shock. His mind races, trying to come to terms with what was happening here. He stammers.

MITTANI
(quietly, with much menace)
Boat, take my cock out and put it in your mouth.

DBRB'S eyes widen like some sort of obese deer trapped in headlights. Tears collect in their lower rims as he slowly reaches up and unfastens MITTANI'S belt. Our CEO watches this, impassive.

TAMIR LENK
(shouts from the back row of watching nerds)
I have a room for this, you know.

MITTANI
(eyes never leaving DBRB)
Continue.

DBRB unfastens the button of MITTANI'S jeans and slowly draws the zipper down, tears streaming down his flushed face. He reaches in and pulls out a fully engorged, shaved penis and scrotum. It pulses, its purple head moving slightly up and down in front of DBRB'S face.

DBRB
(weakly)
Please....

MITTANI
Suck it, Boat, or you're out.

DBRB, sobbing now, grasps the veiny member and inserts it into his mouth. He begins to move his head back and forth gently, without closing his mouth fully. MITTANI grabs the back of DBRB'S head and forces his cock all the way in, causing DBRB to choke. Recovering, DBRB begins to suck the penis, building a rhythm that MITTANI reciprocates, rocking his hips to ensure proper depth.

At this time, most of the crowd stands aghast at the spectacle unfolding in front of them. Open mouthed and speechless, they bear witness to this display. Some few turn away disgusted, while a couple stand rapt, flushed and sweaty, visibly aroused.

While DBRB continues his blow job, his muffled sobs heard through the dick in his mouth, MITTANI turns his gaze away from his oral servicing, looks at the nerds he was speaking with earlier, and continues as if his penis is not currently being sucked.

MITTANI
Of course, we are talking autocannons here, not artillery. Artillery is king in my Alpha Fleet, but on small gang (turns briefly to DBRB and snaps) LESS TEETH! (turns his head back to the nerds) pvp you can get amazing dps out of this dictor. In fact, with the proper damage implants..(stops abruptly)

At this time THE MITTANI cums into DBRB'S mouth. As MITTANI remains expressionless and silent during his orgasm, we are shown that it has occurred due to a brief spasming of his buttocks, and the fact that DBRB begins to choke and gag. MITTANI withdraws his swiftly shrinking member from DBRB'S mouth and suddenly slaps him full across the face. DBRB reels from the blow and involuntarily swallows.

MITTANI
(quietly, suddenly peaceful)
Leave me.
(begins to fasten his pants)

DBRB stumbles to his feet and blindly, sobbing, pushes through the shocked crowd. He breaks free, all eyes upon him, and enters the bathroom, desperate to remove the bitter, cheesy taste from his mouth, and to escape from view. He slams the door, locks it, and rushes the sink. He turns the faucet on and begins to slurp water into his mouth, trying to become clean again. As his eyes clear of tears, and numbness sets in, he turns to something catching his eye near the toilet. There, written in marker on the top sheet of toilet paper, are the words "The Mittani Sends His Regards."

SCENE

# ? Jun 6, 2022 14:40

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

# ? Jun 6, 2022 15:03

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

pugnax posted:

Eve�s revenue was down, but not sure about profit.

Isn�t that sort of what they�re doing? I know they hired Elise, and are investing in their London office.

ccp lost $8m last year. revenue was flat, the loss was because they spent more money, though it wasn't clear on what (i wouldn't believe it was on EVE without hard evidence). last year, when they made a small profit, the small profit they made was less than the subsidy the icelandic government gives them.

evilweasel fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Jun 6, 2022

# ? Jun 6, 2022 15:51

geonetix: Mar 6, 2011

it's obvious what they're spending it on. another fps

# ? Jun 6, 2022 16:19

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

imagine how awesome Dust could've been if it was allowed to become the F2P shooter with deep customization mechanics and meta elements that is so desirable right now lol

they were actually ahead of the curve on it, but couldn't help choking 514 in the grave with a platform exclusivity deal

# ? Jun 6, 2022 16:39

wdarkk: Oct 26, 2007; Friends: Protected
World: Saved
Crablettes: Eaten

geonetix posted:

it's obvious what they're spending it on. another fps

What�s it going to be exclusive to? Stadia?

# ? Jun 6, 2022 16:39

FAT32 SHAMER: Aug 16, 2012

Uncritical support for CCP in their quest to permanently remove the temptation of playing Eve Online

# ? Jun 6, 2022 16:40

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

wdarkk posted:

What’s it going to be exclusive to? Stadia?

OUYA

# ? Jun 6, 2022 16:41

Jazzzzz: May 16, 2002

Potato Salad posted:

they were actually ahead of the curve on it, but couldn't help choking 514 in the grave with a platform exclusivity deal

And they picked the platform they couldn't easily refactor the code from to flip it to PC (easily being a relative term). Maybe Sony were the only ones even putting an offer on the table, but they have only in the past few years started coming around to multi-platform crossplay; if CCP had put Dust 514 on the XBox they could've had it on PC too from day 1

# ? Jun 6, 2022 16:52

Ynglaur: Oct 9, 2013; The Malta Conference, anyone?

Potato Salad posted:

imagine how awesome Dust could've been if it was allowed to become the F2P shooter with deep customization mechanics and meta elements that is so desirable right now lol

they were actually ahead of the curve on it, but couldn't help choking 514 in the grave with a platform exclusivity deal

Yeah, CCP has always sucked at business strategy in all of its forms.

# ? Jun 6, 2022 17:14

spazzhole: Aug 2, 2003; Dear Sandy,

Ever since that day I hit you, I've felt like we haven't been as close.

you will never be as bad at anything as hilmar is running ccp

# ? Jun 6, 2022 18:43

Dalael: Oct 14, 2014; Hello. Yep, I still think Atlantis is Bolivia, yep, I'm still a giant idiot, yep, I'm still a huge racist. Some things never change!

Xolve posted:

Suitonia is a good dude. If he's given any agency to implement change, EVE might have a chance.

He's not a Fart Island native though, so... we kind of know how this will work itself out.

I am doubtful that any hire could steer this rudderless ship but who knows

# ? Jun 6, 2022 19:15

FAT32 SHAMER: Aug 16, 2012

Eve screenshots were just in Apple�s WWDC lol

# ? Jun 6, 2022 19:25

I said come in!: Jun 22, 2004

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

Eve screenshots were just in Apple�s WWDC lol

I noticed this too lol.

# ? Jun 6, 2022 19:55

Dik Hz: Feb 22, 2004; Fun with Science

Eve anywhere?

# ? Jun 6, 2022 23:38

Kesper North: Nov 3, 2011; EMERGENCY POWER TO PARTY

Dik Hz posted:

Eve anywhere?

Eve somewhere, Hilmar pathetically begged

# ? Jun 7, 2022 09:23

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

GSV gently caress Your God posted:

INT. SOME SORT OF GEEK/LAWYER HYBRID'S LOVELY HOUSE - WINTER IN CHICAGO - NIGHT

A party is in progress. Party is loosely defined here as it is 98% ugly men consuming alcohol and wiping cocktail sauce from their 4XL black t-shirts. Loose groups of chatting nerds are throughout the house. Camera pans in on a small group gathered around THE MITTANI who is talking of sabres.

He has his audience of two or three fawning nerds entranced. Although other conversations nearby are loud and filled with emoticons actually being spoken aloud, MITTANI'S voice is clearly heard with impeccable enunciation.

Having finished regaling another group with some sort of fabricated story, DBRB enters view from left and joins the half circle around MITTANI who is casually leaning against the wall, one leg drawn up, balancing on the other; a common pre-larp/pre-gothic dance stretching exercise for him. He continues his explanation:

MITTANI
(smugly)
....which is why AWU V is particularily important on this sabre fit. Furthermore, it frees up...

DBRB
(interrupts abruptly)
Yeah, I did that in Cloud Ring last year. I used that sabre fit and just absolutely raped....

MITTANI
(flicker of annoyance briefly flashes across his face, but he almost instantly recovers, his face settling upon an absolutely blank expression, a certain steeliness is still visible in his eyes.)
(coldly)
Excuse me, DBRB?

DBRB
(surprised to be cut short during another stupid loving story, but smiles at his beloved CEO)
Yes, Mittens?

MITTANI
(emotionless)
Do me a big favor, please, and perform fellatio on me.

Small giggle from nerd listening in.

DBRB
(confused)
What?

MITTANI
(leans towards DBRB)
I (pause) want (pause) YOU (emphasis, pause) to suck my cock until I cum into your mouth.

DBRB nervously laughs. Nearby conversations taper out as more nerds turn to listen to this fresh development.

MITTANI
(voice, still coldly robotic, increases in volume)
I'm quite serious. In fact, if you don't start sucking me, and well, mind you, you will become permabanned and booted from Goonswarm this very night. This very loving night. And not one of our allies will accept you. You will be blacklisted. Your experience in EVE will effectively end, reducing your small real life to almost nothing.

As this is being said, DBRB'S face undergoes much emotional turmoil, running the gamut of fear to abject horror until finally settling on a nervous smile, for this exchange reminded him of his wrestling days, when his team mates would mash his face into their buttocks and groins in homoerotic, but joking and playful, displays of bonding and friendship. DBRB has decided this is just such an instance of the same type.

MITTANI drops his other leg to the floor, and stands straight.

MITTANI
(sudden anger)
Stop smiling, fat man! I'm serious. Get on your knees now.

DBRB laughs and drops ponderously to his knees, looking left and right, catching the eyes of a now substantial crowd of goons. He is letting them know, by his compliance, that he is in on the "joke".

DBRB
Har Har Har. How much iskies do I get?

MITTANI
(snarls)
Shut the gently caress up!
(face becomes calm again, continues in a quiet, cold tone)
Now, undo my pants.

DBRB'S face is now flushed in embarrassment. His eyes dart up to the faces of the crowd of nerds, who are watching this in shock. His mind races, trying to come to terms with what was happening here. He stammers.

MITTANI
(quietly, with much menace)
Boat, take my cock out and put it in your mouth.

DBRB'S eyes widen like some sort of obese deer trapped in headlights. Tears collect in their lower rims as he slowly reaches up and unfastens MITTANI'S belt. Our CEO watches this, impassive.

TAMIR LENK
(shouts from the back row of watching nerds)
I have a room for this, you know.

MITTANI
(eyes never leaving DBRB)
Continue.

DBRB unfastens the button of MITTANI'S jeans and slowly draws the zipper down, tears streaming down his flushed face. He reaches in and pulls out a fully engorged, shaved penis and scrotum. It pulses, its purple head moving slightly up and down in front of DBRB'S face.

DBRB
(weakly)
Please....

MITTANI
Suck it, Boat, or you're out.

DBRB, sobbing now, grasps the veiny member and inserts it into his mouth. He begins to move his head back and forth gently, without closing his mouth fully. MITTANI grabs the back of DBRB'S head and forces his cock all the way in, causing DBRB to choke. Recovering, DBRB begins to suck the penis, building a rhythm that MITTANI reciprocates, rocking his hips to ensure proper depth.

At this time, most of the crowd stands aghast at the spectacle unfolding in front of them. Open mouthed and speechless, they bear witness to this display. Some few turn away disgusted, while a couple stand rapt, flushed and sweaty, visibly aroused.

While DBRB continues his blow job, his muffled sobs heard through the dick in his mouth, MITTANI turns his gaze away from his oral servicing, looks at the nerds he was speaking with earlier, and continues as if his penis is not currently being sucked.

MITTANI
Of course, we are talking autocannons here, not artillery. Artillery is king in my Alpha Fleet, but on small gang (turns briefly to DBRB and snaps) LESS TEETH! (turns his head back to the nerds) pvp you can get amazing dps out of this dictor. In fact, with the proper damage implants..(stops abruptly)

At this time THE MITTANI cums into DBRB'S mouth. As MITTANI remains expressionless and silent during his orgasm, we are shown that it has occurred due to a brief spasming of his buttocks, and the fact that DBRB begins to choke and gag. MITTANI withdraws his swiftly shrinking member from DBRB'S mouth and suddenly slaps him full across the face. DBRB reels from the blow and involuntarily swallows.

MITTANI
(quietly, suddenly peaceful)
Leave me.
(begins to fasten his pants)

DBRB stumbles to his feet and blindly, sobbing, pushes through the shocked crowd. He breaks free, all eyes upon him, and enters the bathroom, desperate to remove the bitter, cheesy taste from his mouth, and to escape from view. He slams the door, locks it, and rushes the sink. He turns the faucet on and begins to slurp water into his mouth, trying to become clean again. As his eyes clear of tears, and numbness sets in, he turns to something catching his eye near the toilet. There, written in marker on the top sheet of toilet paper, are the words "The Mittani Sends His Regards."

SCENE

being in goonfleet is basically this so lol

# ? Jun 7, 2022 09:27

Dalael: Oct 14, 2014; Hello. Yep, I still think Atlantis is Bolivia, yep, I'm still a giant idiot, yep, I'm still a huge racist. Some things never change!

TheWeedNumber posted:

being in goonfleet is basically this so lol

Can DBRB even shut his lips that tight? o.O

# ? Jun 7, 2022 12:57

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

i think the thread needs a new name, idk what but it does

# ? Jun 8, 2022 06:29

1001 Arabian dicks: Sep 16, 2013; EVE ONLINE IS MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY BECAUSE IM A FRIENDLESS SEMILITERATE LOSER WHO WILL PEDANTICALLY DEMAND PROOF FOR BASIC THINGS LIKE GRAVITY OR THE EXISTENCE OF SELF. ASK ME ABOUT CHEATING AT TARKOV BECAUSE, WELL, SEE ABOVE

EVE 2022: Much Abloo about Dr. Who

# ? Jun 8, 2022 12:32

Ynglaur: Oct 9, 2013; The Malta Conference, anyone?

Eve 2022: Removing features is progress

or perhaps

Eve 2022: Not yet a cryptobro NFT hellscape

# ? Jun 8, 2022 14:09

The Claptain: May 11, 2014; Grimey Drawer

Eve 2022: Not For Tranquility

# ? Jun 8, 2022 15:13

captainclaw: Sep 16, 2020

EVE 2022: A Yet Unannounced FPS Title

# ? Jun 8, 2022 16:29

I said come in!: Jun 22, 2004

So what are our options to avoiding the monthly sub increase? Omega at 6 months at a time comes out to $15 a month, but are there any other better options?

# ? Jun 8, 2022 16:44

Twigand Berries: Sep 7, 2008

I said come in! posted:

So what are our options to avoiding the monthly sub increase? Omega at 6 months at a time comes out to $15 a month, but are there any other better options?

I mean. There is the obvious.

Thank you for sharing my play from Goonfleet.com, GSV FYG

# ? Jun 8, 2022 16:51

Dalmuti: Apr 8, 2007

Eve 2022: Delta Sqad Won the War Single Handedly

# ? Jun 8, 2022 16:53

Twigand Berries: Sep 7, 2008

Dalmuti posted:

Eve 2022: Delta Sqad Won the War Single Handedly

i'm still out here fighting brother got my stool chart in one hand where is my other hand

# ? Jun 8, 2022 16:56

Floppychop: Mar 30, 2012

I said come in! posted:

So what are our options to avoiding the monthly sub increase? Omega at 6 months at a time comes out to $15 a month, but are there any other better options?

My answer is just to not pay. Increasing price while also not providing any content is pretty insane.

# ? Jun 8, 2022 17:03

dragonshardz: May 2, 2017

Floppychop posted:

My answer is just to not pay. Increasing price while also not providing any content is pretty insane.

Same. If CCP finally instituted master accounts and let you pay for concurrent logins separately from Omega queues and you could just log in however many characters you pay for, then that would be something worth the price increase.

Just off the top of my head, the first Omega subscription is 1 queue, 2 logins, 3 characters for $20. The second Omega subscription is 2 queues, 4 logins, 6 characters for $15. The third is 3/6/9 for $10, fourth is 4/8/12 for $5. Fifth through tenth is still $5 each, add three characters to pool, one extra queue, two more logins. Eleventh and beyond reduces the price to $2.50 per account.

Want 3 logins but just one subscription? $5. Flat.

Want 2 queues on one subscription, without increasing your logins or the character pool you can choose from? $5. Flat.

dragonshardz fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Jun 8, 2022

# ? Jun 8, 2022 17:59

Ynglaur: Oct 9, 2013; The Malta Conference, anyone?

dragonshardz posted:

Same. If CCP finally instituted master accounts and let you pay for concurrent logins separately from Omega queues and you could just log in however many characters you pay for, then that would be something worth the price increase.

Just off the top of my head, the first Omega subscription is 1 queue, 2 logins, 3 characters for $20. The second Omega subscription is 2 queues, 4 logins, 6 characters for $15. The third is 3/6/9 for $10, fourth is 4/8/12 for $5. Fifth through tenth is still $5 each, add three characters to pool, one extra queue, two more logins. Eleventh and beyond reduces the price to $2.50 per account.

Want 3 logins but just one subscription? $5. Flat.

Want 2 queues on one subscription, without increasing your logins or the character pool you can choose from? $5. Flat.

I've wanted them to do this for years.

Pay $Amount per simultaneous Omega skill queue active
Pay $OtherAmount per simultaneous login
Keep cosmetics on a per-Character basis.
Put as many Characters as you want into one Account
Use reCAPTCHA or similar tech when creating a new Character to prevent bullshit namespace attacks

# ? Jun 8, 2022 18:12

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Why do all that when they can go max greed and also bring no value?

# ? Jun 8, 2022 18:16

I said come in!: Jun 22, 2004

I would just not be a little bitch like CCP is, each account would be $10 a month, and you can train freely on all characters on that account at no extra cost. Free accounts can have access to all skills and ships, but you train slower and don't get any login bonuses, but the omega login bonuses are much nicer than they are now.

# ? Jun 8, 2022 18:30

NtotheTC: Dec 31, 2007

I said come in! posted:

So what are our options to avoiding the monthly sub increase? Omega at 6 months at a time comes out to $15 a month, but are there any other better options?

On one account or multiple?

# ? Jun 8, 2022 18:49

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

Yeh I'm not cool with alpha getting as much as it does already, 2 week trial on alpha and then they can subscribe or gently caress off. CCP makes nothing from them, and I don't understand why I'm subsidising them to play for free?

# ? Jun 8, 2022 18:58

Feliday Melody: May 8, 2021

learnincurve posted:

Yeh I'm not cool with alpha getting as much as it does already, 2 week trial on alpha and then they can subscribe or gently caress off. CCP makes nothing from them, and I don't understand why I'm subsidising them to play for free?

Apparently there's this big thing in F2P games that having handicapped free players to dominate. Helps keep the paying players in the game.

# ? Jun 8, 2022 19:40

I said come in!: Jun 22, 2004

NtotheTC posted:

On one account or multiple?

One account.

# ? Jun 8, 2022 19:59

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

the F2P games usually have microtransactions though? I would be perfectly ok with alpha being able to buy some meaningless loot boxes that give out the same rewards as omega dailies, or for omega being able to log in multiple characters off of the same account because right now CCP needs to do something to reward subscribers, rather than just inconvenience free players.

# ? Jun 8, 2022 20:02

Floppychop: Mar 30, 2012

I wonder how many alpha accounts would drop off if you couldn't fly faction ships. There are so many goddamn alpha gilas flying around.

# ? Jun 8, 2022 20:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 11, 2024 20:55

pugnax: Oct 10, 2012; Specialization is for insects.

I had no idea alphas could fly faction ships. That seems like a whoopsie. Can alphas use faction/deadspace modules too?

# ? Jun 8, 2022 20:52

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