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Koivunen posted:Hello, basically me! Thank you everyone for your kind and thoughtful replies! I have been lurking this thread and previous ones for the last few years while I sit with this decision, so I have been rooting/cheering for all of you guys and your adorable kids. Here's where I am at: Pros: Already used to functioning at low levels of sleep; kids are interesting and hilarious; would add purpose and focus to life; an act of hope in this, the worst timeline. Cons: As Koivunen posted about, giving up my sleep meds while pregnant; I imagine my risk of PPD is... high; my support network is very small and if, for instance, my partner and mom got hit by a bus, I don't think I would be able to provide on my own. I think that last one is the one I have the most trouble with. This has been really useful to type out, thanks again for your time and attention, thread!
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Jun 6, 2022 19:46
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developmental leap pros: more sleep developmental leap cons: why are you ALWAYS MAD i dunno if wonder weeks is confirmation bias/voodoo or not but man oh man it feels like they're at least on point with the sunny/stormy windows swear to god it feels like she's just alternating between "cutting a tooth (or 2)" and "mad at the world because my brain is capable of processing new poo poo" and the one happy week she had 2 months ago is waving at me happily from the rearview
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Jun 6, 2022 19:55
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Lead out in cuffs posted:Parenting Megathread: Anyone that goes "yeah I'm perfectly ready" is lying to themselves my greatest source of amusement during the birthing class was this one woman who kept piping up about how things would or would not fit into her birthing plan.
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Jun 6, 2022 23:46
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My daughter goes back to daycare tomorrow and my son the next day. I love my kids but holy poo poo. Between all of us getting covid at different times, we’ve been in quarantine for 26 days. Thank god I had a little help.
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Jun 7, 2022 00:17
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Koivunen posted:My daughter goes back to daycare tomorrow and my son the next day. I love my kids but holy poo poo. Between all of us getting covid at different times, we’ve been in quarantine for 26 days. Thank god I had a little help. I got covid bad when I lived in New York, like I collapsed from lack of oxygen and was out of the world for a couple hours, and now my wife is flight attending pregnant in the no-mask let er rip era of this dumb pandemic and I'm terrified she and our babies will catch covid and die from some dipshit on a plane and I realize it's irrational but also oh my god i'm going to have a heart attac
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Jun 7, 2022 00:52
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Whelp, her water broke. No contractions though. Docs say it's a toss up if baby makes it to the magic 23 weeks or not. No uterine sac makes infections more likely. So she's stuck in the hospital until baby dies or her body forces baby out or baby reaches viability. gently caress
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Jun 7, 2022 02:30
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Jesus, I'm really sorry. Best wishes from this idiot to your family 
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Jun 7, 2022 02:35
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Slaan posted:Whelp, her water broke. No contractions though. Docs say it's a toss up if baby makes it to the magic 23 weeks or not. No uterine sac makes infections more likely. So she's stuck in the hospital until baby dies or her body forces baby out or baby reaches viability. Reach out to Twenty Two Matters. They will try to help you get her transferred to a hospital where they will attempt to resuscitate at 22 weeks. There are hospitals that will do this for you and the group will help you. This is what they do and they will help you it you listen to them. Here is a post with a starter kit of sorts. Good luck to you, your wife, and your hopefully micro preemie. I will be praying for you, friend. D34THROW fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Jun 7, 2022 |
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Jun 7, 2022 02:37
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Slaan posted:Whelp, her water broke. No contractions though. Docs say it's a toss up if baby makes it to the magic 23 weeks or not. No uterine sac makes infections more likely. So she's stuck in the hospital until baby dies or her body forces baby out or baby reaches viability. I just read through your post history; Im incredibly sorry for everything you and your wife are going through. Our newborn ended up in NICU for 2 weeks back in March; my wife stayed in the hospital 24/14, while I got to work full-time while looking after the 2 year old. And I thought that was stressful. Seems like a walk in the park relative to your situation.
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Jun 7, 2022 02:50
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Oh, we had that too last year. Miscarriage then baby born with pneumonia held in NICU for almost a month (she's amazing now a year later!!!) but now this. We are keeping our spirits up by laughing at how our pregnancies gently caress up every way in the book. And zoom with MIL and our 1yo of course.
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Jun 7, 2022 03:03
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:I got covid bad when I lived in New York, like I collapsed from lack of oxygen and was out of the world for a couple hours, and now my wife is flight attending pregnant in the no-mask let er rip era of this dumb pandemic and I'm terrified she and our babies will catch covid and die from some dipshit on a plane and I realize it's irrational but also oh my god i'm going to have a heart attac I was under the impression that the fetus cannot catch Covid in utero? That does not mean your wife getting it can have secondary harmful effects... Does the airline have a good policy on maternity leave? Here it is against the law for pregnant women to work after 6 months.
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Jun 7, 2022 08:38
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Dick Ripple posted:I was under the impression that the fetus cannot catch Covid in utero? That does not mean your wife getting it can have secondary harmful effects... Does the airline have a good policy on maternity leave? Here it is against the law for pregnant women to work after 6 months. Hahahahaha. It is common for women in the US to be working the day they give birth. There are no laws like that here. From my recollection, if you get a doctor to write a note lets you use some of your 12 weeks of your unpaid post partum leave prior to the birth. That may be employer or state dependent though. The entire leave system was a convoluted mess of paperwork and rules that both me and my wife were not really prepared to deal with around the birth of our kids. Tons of stuff prior had to be submitted by certain dates and then tons of things had to be submitted shortly after birth - you know a time when everyone is excited to be submitting paperwork.
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Jun 7, 2022 12:59
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My wife worked up to and on her due date. She gave birth 12 hours after commuting home from Manhattan via bus. I had to bank and take 2 weeks vacation time to be home with them immediately afterwards. The US and New York in particular has/had horrific parental leave laws. That was 2017 and we've since moved states and onto companies that allow for 14 weeks parental and 22 weeks birth parent leave.
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Jun 7, 2022 14:28
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Diva Cupcake posted:My wife worked up to and on her due date. She gave birth 12 hours after commuting home from Manhattan via bus. I had to bank and take 2 weeks vacation time to be home with them immediately afterwards. The US and New York in particular has/had horrific parental leave laws. In...2018ish I believe NY got paid FMLA. So when my kid was born in 2019 I got 12 weeks of 50% pay.
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Jun 7, 2022 14:41
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I had my baby on a Sunday and I have a Monday through Friday job and I was working right up until the Friday before. And would have gone to work on Monday had I not had him.
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Jun 7, 2022 14:52
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Dick Ripple posted:Here it is against the law for pregnant women to work after 6 months. Where the heck do you live? That sounds well-intentioned but also ... stupid. I mean, it's a very small minority of pregnancies where staying off of a non-physical job would be required for the sake of health. Socialist Sweden, for all its spending on parental leave, will *allow* a mother to take leave starting 60 days before the projected delivery, but those days will come out of her total allowance of paid leave days. (There are exceptions for hard physical labor, or special medical circumstances.)
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Jun 7, 2022 14:57
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Kid: *gags* Kid: *violently stuffs food currently being gagged back into mouth* Kid: *gags more* Y tho
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Jun 7, 2022 19:17
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I survived Busch gardens with a two year old ama
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Jun 8, 2022 01:56
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:Where the heck do you live? That sounds well-intentioned but also ... stupid. I mean, it's a very small minority of pregnancies where staying off of a non-physical job would be required for the sake of health. Socialist Sweden, for all its spending on parental leave, will *allow* a mother to take leave starting 60 days before the projected delivery, but those days will come out of her total allowance of paid leave days. Austria. It is exactly 8 weeks (up to 12 if Dr. says so) before and after birth that a Mother is not allowed to work, and of course 1 parent (usually the mother) is allowed up to 24 months parental leave after birth. The State pays for all this. Unfortunately our taxes are quite high and we are not allowed to have assault rifles, so there are drawbacks compared to the US. Some complain about it, but those types usually always complain about everything else. For the most part the Mother Protection laws are well supported and liked by the populace. There is also a thing about Austria having low birth rates, so this is a law that helps alleviate that.
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Jun 8, 2022 05:13
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My 0230 wake up call: MAMA MY BUTT MADE A SOUND LIKE A BEE FLYING!!!
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Jun 8, 2022 14:00
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Astarael posted:…if, for instance, my partner and mom got hit by a bus, I don't think I would be able to provide on my own. This concern is solvable. You and your partner should have life insurance of sufficient value to protect the family. I make a little over twice what my partner does, so we make sure that there is enough life insurance to cover the house, food, daycare, and therapy should I die suddenly. IMO, it’s super important to have good life insurance if you have kids.
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Jun 8, 2022 15:22
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Dobbs_Head posted:This concern is solvable. You and your partner should have life insurance of sufficient value to protect the family. I make a little over twice what my partner does, so we make sure that there is enough life insurance to cover the house, food, daycare, and therapy should I die suddenly. This 100%. there's worksheets or calculators on the internet that can help you figure out how much you would need based on if you have a mortgage payment, replacing income, providing for debts or any other expenses etc.
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Jun 8, 2022 16:08
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Dick Ripple posted:I was under the impression that the fetus cannot catch Covid in utero? That does not mean your wife getting it can have secondary harmful effects... Does the airline have a good policy on maternity leave? Here it is against the law for pregnant women to work after 6 months. She's getting a whole 6-10 weeks of leave after the kids come out and the airline is being really elusive with us for what if anything is ok while she is pregnant. I'm probably overreacting and she and the kids will be fine, covid doesn't hurt fetuses or young kids typically, but also, gently caress, I'm in love with my wife and I do not like seeing her stressed or in pain. This poo poo is hard and I'm doing the easy part.
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Jun 8, 2022 21:51
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External Organs posted:I survived Busch gardens with a two year old ama Is there really anything for a 2 year old to ride there? I mean in terms of stuff that a neighborhood park wouldn't have. Been a while since I posted but we're a few weeks into potty training and he can use the potty just fine when prompted, but he's just never feeling the need to go coming up so he'll just be doing something and all of a sudden he's wetting himself, and then somehow stops and saves the rest for the potty once I rush him onto it. I'm trying to find a balance between prompting him to go often enough he doesn't pee everywhere, but also giving him those opportunities to feel the sensation of needing to go so he can learn to want to get to a potty.
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Jun 8, 2022 21:51
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External Organs posted:I survived Busch gardens with a two year old ama My two year old was already tired when we arrived and just meanfaced his way through two kid rides. Eventually he fell asleep in the stroller and was awake enough to enjoy the splash pad at the end. The secret is to bring your mom who has motion sickness and can't go on any rides to push him around all day.
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Jun 8, 2022 22:30
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davebo posted:Is there really anything for a 2 year old to ride there? I mean in terms of stuff that a neighborhood park wouldn't have. I would say 60% of her time was spent at the sesame street splash pad, another 30% was spent carting her around, and the last 10% was spent with me following closely while she ran around screaming underneath the griffin saying RUN FAST. I don't really care about rides so I just stayed with her and my mother in law while my wife went and did many rides. We also had separate vehicles. Sesame street splash pad was a riot in all honesty. We also had pictures taken with Oscar the Grouch 
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Jun 8, 2022 22:41
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So far Disney is going well though the kids weren’t a fan of Epcot in general; we should have rented a stroller for it since we ended up walking a good ten miles. The new guardians ride is dope and they all loved it, I was a little concerned the boys would be scared since it was an indoor coaster in the dark but they immediately wanted to do it again. It absolutely amazes me how many people are bringing children younger than five to the parks as it’s simply not worth it. I love the late afternoons when you can spot a melting down kid relatively frequently. Ours have all had their moments but overall it’s pretty much been limited to whining about the walking/waiting in lines, and of course sibling bickering. I am very thankful that we have good kids.
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Jun 8, 2022 23:11
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So my saga is over for now. Mom passed baby a few hours ago. Baby lived for about an hour. The placenta was incredibly infected so it was good that the baby was delivered now as it would absolutely have become sepsis if it had taken longer. Unfortunately, we had asked for an epidural and meds to help the baby pass, but it ended up being all natural with nothing but tylenol because her cervix went from 1cm to fully dilated under about 2 hours. Thanks for all your thoughts and support. It certainly helped me come to terms with things.
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Jun 8, 2022 23:28
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I’m so sorry Slaan. Nobody should have to go through that.
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Jun 9, 2022 01:11
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I’m so sorry to hear this, my heart breaks for you and your family. Hope you are able to get some time to rest.
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Jun 9, 2022 01:20
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Been a very very hard evening but i think my wife is through the worst of it. I've never heard anyone cry that hard before and don't want to again. My heart broke for her far more than anything. We will heal though 
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Jun 9, 2022 04:11
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Best to you, Slaan; I’m so sorry you had to endure that.
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Jun 9, 2022 07:26
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Sending thoughts and hugs, Slaan
Tom Smykowski fucked around with this message at 11:55 on Jun 9, 2022 |
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Jun 9, 2022 11:53
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Nobody should be subjected to what you had to go through. Hope mum and you recover, both physically and mentally.
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Jun 9, 2022 12:05
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I'm so sorry Slaan, that's absolutely tragic. I hope you and your wife have plenty of support to reach out to.
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Jun 9, 2022 12:19
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thunderdome winner
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poo poo. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you're going through.
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Jun 9, 2022 13:42
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I’m so sorry Slaan. I can’t even imagine how you and your wife are feeling now.
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Jun 9, 2022 13:44
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Slaan: My condolences.Koivunen posted:My 0230 wake up call: MAMA MY BUTT MADE A SOUND LIKE A BEE FLYING!!! We got that at 2,5 years old. "Haha, there's a motor in my butt!" Sorry, can't keep a thread on a serious topic for more than 13 hours, you know...
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Jun 9, 2022 19:31
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My daughter's 6.5 years old. She finished first grade, and we're sending her to a YMCA day camp for three weeks. This seems to be a different set of kids than she's been around either at school or daycare. She's always really excited to go and seems to have fun, but my wife's noticed that she doesn't seem to play with the other kids, and when I asked her yesterday if she's made any friends she said she hasn't. She's always been pretty outgoing and made friends easily in daycare. I guess today she asked my wife if our 3.5-year-old could go to camp too so she'd have someone to play with. Should we be concerned? If so, how should we approach it with her, and what can we do to get her to keep trying to make friends?
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Jun 9, 2022 23:09
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Ugh within two weeks of starting the kids at daycare we all have COVID. Well not my wife yet. She had it a few months ago so maybe she’ll have a natural immunity boost, but ugh. Fortunately the kids already seem to be over it. No bad symptoms except a low fever and low energy for a day.
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Jun 10, 2022 00:27
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