UKMT Summer 2022 - The Pipes, The Pipes Are Empty

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Summer 2022 - The Pipes, The Pipes Are Empty

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Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Paul.Power posted:

Anything becomes interesting if you examine it closely enough.

*Keith writes down a note*

E: 52 is That Number. You know the one.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:18

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# ? May 24, 2024 22:56

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Gonzo McFee posted:

Then you find out he got a guy sent to prison for six months for stealing a bottle of water.

poo poo Javert

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:19

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

*Keith writes down a note*

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:24

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

While you were out protesting, I studied the wet egg.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:26

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

I think it�s worth remembering he did drunkenly hit a cyclist with his car, that�s pretty interesting

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:28

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

TACD posted:

I think it�s worth remembering he did drunkenly hit a cyclist with his car, that�s pretty interesting

Pretty much a metaphor for his time as Shadow Brexit Sec.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:36

the sex ghost: Sep 6, 2009

TACD posted:

I think it’s worth remembering he did drunkenly hit a cyclist with his car, that’s pretty interesting

Swerve Beer Carmer

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:37

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

TACD posted:

I think it�s worth remembering he did drunkenly hit a cyclist with his car, that�s pretty interesting

This isn't true.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:43

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

credit to him, he's trying to improve

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:44

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

I'm so sorry

(not sorry. lol)

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:45

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

NotJustANumber99 posted:

This isn't true.

It's the ecstatic truth.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:46

Paul.Power: Feb 7, 2009; The three roles of APCs:
Transports.
Supply trucks.
Distractions.

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

*Keith writes down a note*

E: 52 is That Number. You know the one.

Cards in a deck? I kinda like that fact because it helps me remember the 13 times table. 52Hz being the lowest note on the big plastic-pipey musical instrument at work is quite neat because it lets me go "all right, double that is 104Hz (8x13) for the octave note, one-and-a-half times that is 78Hz (6x13) for the perfect fifth and one-and-a-quarter times that is 65Hz (5x13) for the major third".

Perhaps Starmer could take a leaf from Corbyn's jam-making book and start brewing his own craft beer :v:

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:47

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

E: 52 is That Number. You know the one.

Degrees centigrade today?

# ? Jun 17, 2022 10:54

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

I SAID you know the one! Stop pretending otherwise! :mad:

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:00

Kokoro Wish: Jul 23, 2007; Post? What post? Oh wow.
I had nothing to do with THAT.

Bobby Deluxe posted:

https://twitter.com/ThatRabbiCohen/status/1537209310748590081?t=hyCKPVh8pDexAGjvsz26iQ&s=19

Does this mean we can try the antisemitism thing against terfs?

Reminding you about J K R and the Banker Goblins.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:03

Camrath: Mar 19, 2004; The UKMT Fudge Baron

Tesseraction posted:

poo poo Javert

I�ve had this debate elsewhere, but.

Javert as written is a far more decent person than Keith. While the musical casts him as more of a straight up villain, the book of Les Mis has him as a much more nuanced character. Dedicated and driven by his belief in the law, for sure, but not to the point of evil like our much beloved LOTO. Hell, in the book the last thing he does before killing himself is write a note listing injustices committed to prisoners and suggestions for how to address them.

Somehow I can�t see Keith leaving that as a suicide note, though I�d be happy to see his take on one..

And no, I�m not the sad case who reads Les Mis every other year or so and has seen the musical more times than he can count. That�s you, that is. :p

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:04

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Camrath posted:

I�ve had this debate elsewhere, but.

Javert as written is a far more decent person than Keith. While the musical casts him as more of a straight up villain, the book of Les Mis has him as a much more nuanced character. Dedicated and driven by his belief in the law, for sure, but not to the point of evil like our much beloved LOTO. Hell, in the book the last thing he does before killing himself is write a note listing injustices committed to prisoners and suggestions for how to address them.

Somehow I can�t see Keith leaving that as a suicide note, though I�d be happy to see his take on one..

And no, I�m not the sad case who reads Les Mis every other year or so and has seen the musical more times than he can count. That�s you, that is. :p

TBH I always sympathised with Javert as a man traumatised by the circumstances of his birth and his unyielding dedication to the rule of law being his response to that trauma. He's rarely doing anything morally wrong, just misplacing his faith in a corrupt and uncaring system.

Starmer was a human rights lawyer and now shows authoritarian tendencies and also doesn't give a gently caress about the human rights of refugees, or is so cynical as to not say anything in order to kowtow to the worst elements of British society.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:34

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

https://twitter.com/AdamBienkov/status/1537724323804372994?t=XHFixbQ4tJQHDiqw_dzc6w&s=19

Another one bites the dust

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:34

Camrath: Mar 19, 2004; The UKMT Fudge Baron

Tesseraction posted:

TBH I always sympathised with Javert as a man traumatised by the circumstances of his birth and his unyielding dedication to the rule of law being his response to that trauma. He's rarely doing anything morally wrong, just misplacing his faith in a corrupt and uncaring system.

Starmer was a human rights lawyer and now shows authoritarian tendencies and also doesn't give a gently caress about the human rights of refugees, or is so cynical as to not say anything in order to kowtow to the worst elements of British society.

My god, it�s finally happened. I�ve met someone with the exact same niche take on a very specific niche interest. I�ve been feeling this since the very first time I read the book at age 16, even if I couldn�t articulate it this well.

Genuinely, I can�t express how happy this makes me.

(One of my earliest autistic special interests was in Les Miserables- it�s literally the first �grown up� music I remember hearing and liking at the age of about 3, though I misheard the title and thought it was called �Lady�s Bra�)

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:37

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Happy to help :tipshat:

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:41

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

sebzilla posted:

https://twitter.com/AdamBienkov/status/1537724323804372994?t=XHFixbQ4tJQHDiqw_dzc6w&s=19

Another one bites the dust

I mean yeah, he lied to the membership to get elected and anyone who voted for him was a rube. That's politics.

Like all the complaining about left wing purging, it's just the labour left announcing how hard theyre being owned. They shoulda done some politics too while they were "in power"

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:48

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

Camrath posted:

Somehow I can�t see Keith leaving that as a suicide note, though I�d be happy to see his take on one..

Keith's suicide note would obviously be a catchy three-word slogan:

Regrets
Commiserations
Farewell

The AI had other ideas:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:52

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

lol, link the AI generator if you could?

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:53

the sex ghost: Sep 6, 2009

Two shadow chancellor McDonnells. One only tells the truth, the other only tells lies

# ? Jun 17, 2022 11:55

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

Tesseraction posted:

lol, link the AI generator if you could?

I'm using the one at https://app.inferkit.com/demo, there might be better ones.

But I am kinda loving this one, lol

quote:

Keir Starmer, pistol in hand, sits down to write his suicide note. He begins: "Hi kids, I think you know me. I am your favourite teacher. I taught you stuff. Got you to sit up straight, walk properly, tie your shoelaces and maybe have a go at the piano for the first time. Oh, and not to kick the front-door, push the living room furniture, throw your plate of spaghetti on the floor and start having tantrums at every meal. I did that too. When you were small, I showed you how to eat food with a knife and fork. I took you on long walks through the woods and showed you the constellations. If you were naughty, I got cross with you and I screamed and swore at you, but I loved you. Oh and of course I wrote all those little books for you."

The manuscript is not yet complete. Starmer needs a final pen stroke, the vital one that sets his passion in motion and secures the greatest triumph for the pro-remain campaign. The chapter ends, "This is how I should have ended it. On 29 March, I should have announced I was standing for parliament. There would have been boos and jeers, but there would have been cheers too. I would have won because I would have stood for Britain and not just for Brussels. At last we would have had a voice at Westminster. You might not have liked me and you might have thrown tomatoes at me. But I think you would have liked to have a say in choosing our MPs. I think that would have been a better way for me to go."

This is not the kind of suicide note you would expect to read from a man who has just staged a stunning coup.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 12:00

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

https://twitter.com/GdnSaturday/status/1537721856718819328

This guy is far more interesting and good-humoured than Starmer, but you already knew that

# ? Jun 17, 2022 12:11

BalloonFish: Jun 30, 2013; Fun Shoe

sebzilla posted:

https://twitter.com/AdamBienkov/status/1537724323804372994?t=XHFixbQ4tJQHDiqw_dzc6w&s=19

Another one bites the dust

Oh gawd. I just feel in my gut that the final version of this policy is going to be some depressing triangulated means-tested poo poo like

"Tuition fees are waived for students with household income below [number high enough they can't be accused of subsidising the kids of woke middle class elites, but low enough that most still pay fees and universities keep raking it in] who are doing degrees in Meaningful and Productive subjects such as [STEM and PPE]. This will Strengthen Our Economy and Prepare Young People For Work."

Maybe throw a few corporate sponsorship schemes in there too (Climate Science by Royal Dutch Shell at the Serco University of Kettering) and you have the perfect New New Labour policy.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 12:23

Tarnop: Nov 25, 2013; Pull me out

It says "support the abolition of" right there in red and white, the out was there all along. People who voted for Starmer are illiterate

# ? Jun 17, 2022 12:58

Gyro Zeppeli: Jul 19, 2012; sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Guess who tested positive for The Rona?

It was inevitable, my mum tested positive on Sunday, then it's hit me today like a tonne of bricks.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:08

Private Speech: Mar 30, 2011; I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.

Gyro Zeppeli posted:

Guess who tested positive for The Rona?

It was inevitable, my mum tested positive on Sunday, then it's hit me today like a tonne of bricks.

Given the prevalence figures that's not anything special these days:

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopula...ilot/17june2022

ONS posted:

In England, the estimated number of people testing positive for COVID-19 was 1,131,000 (95% credible interval: 1,066,000 to 1,196,100), equating to 2.07% of the population or around 1 in 50 people.
In Wales, the estimated number of people testing positive for COVID-19 was 64,800 (95% credible interval: 49,400 to 83,400), equating to 2.13% of the population or around 1 in 45 people.
In Northern Ireland, the estimated number of people testing positive for COVID-19 was 42,900 (95% credible interval: 32,600 to 54,300), equating to 2.34% of the population or around 1 in 45 people.
In Scotland, the estimated number of people testing positive for COVID-19 was 176,900 (95% credible interval: 152,900 to 202,200), equating to 3.36% of the population or around 1 in 30 people.

Keeping in mind people do stop testing positive relatively quickly.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:24

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Do check if you're on the high risk category because you might be eligible for paxlovid https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/paxlovid/who-can-and-cannot-take-paxlovid/

It's apparently useless for mild cases but if you're hit like a ton of bricks it could help.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:24

Isomermaid: Dec 3, 2019; Swish swish, like a fish

Yeah I got a letter through about that, kinda comforting to know it's there cos I'm high risk and my partner works in London. Also got jab #5 coming up, hopefully, though I got into trouble last time cos NHS England send out letters saying "you qualify for another booster" but apparently my GP were miffed that I came in off the back of that and not a letter from them, so I dunno what's going on there. I'm like "I'm immunocompromised, do you think I *wanted* to leave the house and come to a surgery?"

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:29

Gyro Zeppeli: Jul 19, 2012; sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Tesseraction posted:

Do check if you're on the high risk category because you might be eligible for paxlovid https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/paxlovid/who-can-and-cannot-take-paxlovid/

It's apparently useless for mild cases but if you're hit like a ton of bricks it could help.

Sadly not, I just have to grin and bear it. Mercifully, I've been triple shotted, so it's not as bad as it could have been. Just feels like an absolute fucker of a flu right now.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 13:42

the sex ghost: Sep 6, 2009

https://twitter.com/ChrisBurn_Post/status/1537767989637939202?s=20&t=nC3THXa6xvEnN-Yhj3AEnQ

Hes been sacked

# ? Jun 17, 2022 14:57

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

The Northern Research Group wtf, are the Tories researching Northerners?

# ? Jun 17, 2022 15:03

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

I assume going by the nomenclature, much like the european research group was composed of people who didn't know anything about europe other than they didn't like it, the northern research group is much the same and the south will be brexiting from northern tyranny any day now.

# ? Jun 17, 2022 15:06

domhal: Dec 30, 2008; 0.000% of Communism has been built. Evil child-murdering billionaires still rule the world with a shit-eating grin. All he has managed to do is make himself *sad*. It has, however, made him into a very, very smart boy with something like a university degree in Truth. Instead of building Communism, he now builds a precise model of this grotesque, duplicitous world.