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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Goons and poop stories, never a better combo.

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Freaquency
May 10, 2007

"Yes I can hear you, I don't have ear cancer!"

The Big Jesus posted:

Story time!

Background: My wife is about 13 weeks pregnant now with twins. Boy and girl. As far as names go we’re leaning towards going with Jaime and Cersei since game of thrones names are so hot right now. This is absolutely a joke we aren’t that dumb.

Anyway, we’re out camping with some friends and my wife asks me if I brought the miralax. Apparently constipation is a big symptom of pregnancy. We go back to the van and I tell her where it is. She pulls it out and says ‘yeah I usually put this in my coffee in the morning.’ I thought that was weird because I’ve always thought it was a kinda gross tasting liquid based on what I’d heard from colonoscopy stories. I guess that’s the difference between exlax and miralax being a tasteless powder. I make a crack about how she turbocharged her coffee, then immediately remembered what happened to me easier that week.

I woke up a couple days earlier and went to let the dogs out and I noticed she’d left behind a cup of coffee, ready to go. I sent her a snap and said something along the lines of ‘haha pregnancy brain totally forget?’ She said ‘whoops yeah. Go ahead and have it.’ I drank it and proceeded to poo poo my brains out later that day, thinking I ate some bad fruit. It got so bad I texted my buddy ‘god drat I just got so close to making GBS threads myself. Thought it was a fart but had a lot of heat behind it. Like waddle to the bathroom check your undies heat. Closest I’ve come to making GBS threads myself in over a decade.’ It wasn’t until the camping trip a couple days later that I realized my wife had poisoned me.

She knew

Samadhi
May 13, 2001

Amy Pole Her posted:

Oh I completely glossed over that being a new build. Like new new? How do the floors look so bad then?

It was just finished this spring.

Braksgirl
Dec 25, 2010

Unofficial Goon Disney travel agent since 2014!

Tens of Goons served!


The Big Jesus posted:

Story time!

Background: My wife is about 13 weeks pregnant now with twins. Boy and girl. As far as names go we’re leaning towards going with Jaime and Cersei since game of thrones names are so hot right now. This is absolutely a joke we aren’t that dumb.

Anyway, we’re out camping with some friends and my wife asks me if I brought the miralax. Apparently constipation is a big symptom of pregnancy. We go back to the van and I tell her where it is. She pulls it out and says ‘yeah I usually put this in my coffee in the morning.’ I thought that was weird because I’ve always thought it was a kinda gross tasting liquid based on what I’d heard from colonoscopy stories. I guess that’s the difference between exlax and miralax being a tasteless powder. I make a crack about how she turbocharged her coffee, then immediately remembered what happened to me easier that week.

I woke up a couple days earlier and went to let the dogs out and I noticed she’d left behind a cup of coffee, ready to go. I sent her a snap and said something along the lines of ‘haha pregnancy brain totally forget?’ She said ‘whoops yeah. Go ahead and have it.’ I drank it and proceeded to poo poo my brains out later that day, thinking I ate some bad fruit. It got so bad I texted my buddy ‘god drat I just got so close to making GBS threads myself. Thought it was a fart but had a lot of heat behind it. Like waddle to the bathroom check your undies heat. Closest I’ve come to making GBS threads myself in over a decade.’ It wasn’t until the camping trip a couple days later that I realized my wife had poisoned me.

Wives everywhere (mainly me) rejoice. Don't gently caress with the pregnant lady.

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

The Big Jesus posted:

Story time!

Background: My wife is about 13 weeks pregnant now with twins. Boy and girl. As far as names go we’re leaning towards going with Jaime and Cersei since game of thrones names are so hot right now. This is absolutely a joke we aren’t that dumb.

Anyway, we’re out camping with some friends and my wife asks me if I brought the miralax. Apparently constipation is a big symptom of pregnancy. We go back to the van and I tell her where it is. She pulls it out and says ‘yeah I usually put this in my coffee in the morning.’ I thought that was weird because I’ve always thought it was a kinda gross tasting liquid based on what I’d heard from colonoscopy stories. I guess that’s the difference between exlax and miralax being a tasteless powder. I make a crack about how she turbocharged her coffee, then immediately remembered what happened to me easier that week.

I woke up a couple days earlier and went to let the dogs out and I noticed she’d left behind a cup of coffee, ready to go. I sent her a snap and said something along the lines of ‘haha pregnancy brain totally forget?’ She said ‘whoops yeah. Go ahead and have it.’ I drank it and proceeded to poo poo my brains out later that day, thinking I ate some bad fruit. It got so bad I texted my buddy ‘god drat I just got so close to making GBS threads myself. Thought it was a fart but had a lot of heat behind it. Like waddle to the bathroom check your undies heat. Closest I’ve come to making GBS threads myself in over a decade.’ It wasn’t until the camping trip a couple days later that I realized my wife had poisoned me.

Twin dad!

This last pregnancy was my wife taking like 8 kinds of stool softener and laxative to manage to poo poo every 4 days. I can’t imagine grabbing her coffee.

Bird in a Blender
Nov 17, 2005

It's amazing what they can do with computers these days.

Good thing she didn’t leave some sugar free gummy bears lying around too.

The Big Jesus
Oct 29, 2007

#essereFerrari

No Butt Stuff posted:

Twin dad!

This last pregnancy was my wife taking like 8 kinds of stool softener and laxative to manage to poo poo every 4 days. I can’t imagine grabbing her coffee.

Yeah it was a mess lol. We’d always talked about having two - one of each. Didn’t expect it to happen at the same time though! Just when you’ve kinda mentally prepared for having one you get hit with the news it’s two, which seems like a whole new ballgame. Gonna be a lot of sleepless nights early on, but get through the phases faster and they’ll always have a buddy for playtime.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Please remember guys

https://twitter.com/edzitron/status/1536385724693458944?t=RQjCP6CQKXTFsrUX1tSNGA&s=19

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Down 61% YTD now, almost 20% in the last 5 days.

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

The Big Jesus posted:

Yeah it was a mess lol. We’d always talked about having two - one of each. Didn’t expect it to happen at the same time though! Just when you’ve kinda mentally prepared for having one you get hit with the news it’s two, which seems like a whole new ballgame. Gonna be a lot of sleepless nights early on, but get through the phases faster and they’ll always have a buddy for playtime.

The buddy for playtime thing is right. But man, I did not sleep for like 18 months.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

kiimo posted:

My god my brother had a minor heart attack this morning. He's 44 and has three small kids. Hopefully this will scare him into losing weight.

Apparently my brother lived through a Widowmaker heart attack and has 100% hardened blockage in one artery and somehow avoided any damage? They apparently are just going to leave it blocked? How is this a proper way to handle this? I'm freaking out he has a newborn and two other kids.

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
As a father of one toddler I think I can reasonably say the existence of twins is cruel. Very hosed up thing to do to an unsuspecting couple.

Ornery and Hornery
Oct 22, 2020

Kalli posted:

Down 61% YTD now, almost 20% in the last 5 days.

Our thoughts and prayers fell upon divine ears

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer

Dango Bango posted:

Oh my God the cameo and credit in The Boys S3E5 is incredible.

I watched it and didn’t catch it, what was it? Spoiler it!

Blowjob Overtime
Apr 6, 2008

Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

Not much to do in Duluth when it's cold and full of people post-marathon. Thankfully someone saw fit to open a dispensary 2 hours away in Ironwood, MI. Unforseen bonus stock up.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







https://i.imgur.com/kRrGiRv.mp4

LeeMajors
Jan 20, 2005

I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!



I’m so loving psyched for the crypto crash I hope it absolutely craters into irrelevance.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
On coindesk the fifth-highest gainer today is a crypto that hasn't lost any value lol

Also Ethereum went from $2000 each to $900 each so every stupid loving ape lost half its value since memorial day

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

Pain of Mind
Jul 10, 2004
You are receiving this broadcast as a dream...We are transmitting from the year one nine... nine nine ...You are receiving this broadcast in order t

LeeMajors posted:

I’m so loving psyched for the crypto crash I hope it absolutely craters into irrelevance.

Same (to not empty quote)

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE

Illegal Hen
The downside is people are still idiots and will buy during the dip with hopes they will be the ones making out like bandits when it goes TO THE MOON!*



*they won't.

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

Considering now is when they were really pushing for things like retirement money and less internet educated people to do it better now than later

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Bitcoin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Dy2tuF915E

Me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc_F3PaYgl0

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

Android Apocalypse posted:

The downside is people are still idiots and will buy during the dip with hopes they will be the ones making out like bandits when it goes TO THE MOON!*



*they won't.

It's going to cause a dead cat bounce that'll draw in even more suckers. It's natures way.

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

Tried making some big ol cookies today

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

BlindSite posted:

Tried making some big ol cookies today


I’d eat ‘em.

LeeMajors
Jan 20, 2005

I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!


BlindSite posted:

Tried making some big ol cookies today


They look like delicious muffin tops. I’d crush the poo poo out of then.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
I wanna eat the cookies

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Goddammit I’m in Greenville and it is muggier than poo poo

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

Thank you for the kind words about my cookies.

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

BlindSite posted:

Tried making some big ol cookies today


Cookie Monster approved.

Freaquency
May 10, 2007

"Yes I can hear you, I don't have ear cancer!"

The Avalanche might be pretty good at hockey

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

Freaquency posted:

The Avalanche might be pretty good at hockey

gently caress Corey Perry

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know
I just got to Pennsylvania. Three out of the last four times I have travelled with my parents and dog and stayed at a hotel the fire alarm has gone off. The first time was for a few minutes over the course of an hour. The second time we had to fully evacuate in the dead of winter, but because we left our poo poo (due to staff yelling evacuate!l we couldn't jsut leave for like three hours. This time we jsut said gently caress it, packed all our poo poo and just left. We stopped for half an hour at a rest stop to sleep, but otherwise my mom and I switched off driving. Wyndham Hotels EVERY SINGLE loving TIME.


Anyways, I rarely make it up here in summer unless there is a hurricane and I need to evacuate, and last year when we did Christmas in July but drat, its full bloom and everything is so so green. Like, what I usually see as white/gray mountains are now a super lush green, and the temperature is so nice and lovely. Anyhoo I am going to bed although probably not for a bit because I am bordering on med school/intern levels of sleep deprivation...

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

fartknocker posted:

gently caress Corey Perry

:mad:

Bird in a Blender
Nov 17, 2005

It's amazing what they can do with computers these days.

Just booked an appointment to get my 3 year old his COVID shots. loving stoked.

LeeMajors
Jan 20, 2005

I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!


FizFashizzle posted:

Goddammit I’m in Greenville and it is muggier than poo poo

Our dew points have been in the low to mid 70s every morning. It’s been awful.

Not looking forward to late in the week when we will have triple digit temps and god loving knows what humidity. It was 95% the other morning with clear skies.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







LeeMajors posted:

Our dew points have been in the low to mid 70s every morning. It’s been awful.

Not looking forward to late in the week when we will have triple digit temps and god loving knows what humidity. It was 95% the other morning with clear skies.

When did downtown Greenville become a destination?

Don’t these people know they’re just a lovely Charlotte?

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

Kariya and Selanne were my favorite players when I was growing up and I got both their autographs once after a Panthers game… but gently caress Corey Perry.

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harperdc
Jul 24, 2007

Kalli posted:

Goons and poop stories, never a better combo.

Might refresh the thread title, who knows.

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