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During lunch, a few people are sitting in the break room chatting about movies. The topic turns to the actor Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and favorite movies featuring the former wrestling all-star. Dwight says he likes Fast Five, admitting that the diverse cast and emphasis on family make the series a guilty pleasure of his. Kelly likes The Jungle Cruise, because The Rock is “hottest” in that one. Charles Miner says that he prefers the critically under-rated film that teamed The Rock with also under-appreciated comedy actor Seann William Scott. Jim, walking into the conversation, hurriedly agrees with Charles. “Oh, yeah. That- uh- I liked that one, too.” Charles widens his eyes in surprise. “You did, Jim? I would have thought that the humor was a little too broad for you. What was your favorite part?” Jim stammers, “When, uh, when The Rock uh- punched the bad guy…” “Christopher Walken?” Miner interjects helpfully. “Did he punch him, at the end?” “Yeah, uh. You know, I think, uh, that I - uh, I started it, but never finished it.” “You never finished The Rundown?” chuckles Charles Miner, “We’ll, isn’t that a surprise.”
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Jun 20, 2022 20:12
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| # ? May 29, 2024 16:55 |
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Fun owns for Charles to drop on Jim
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Jun 21, 2022 01:12
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Cosmic Jim decides to raise the steaks by turning Charles Miner into Charles Mimer. He, Charles Mimer, is exactly the same as before, but can now only communicate through mime, he, Charles Mimer, also has mime related powers. Charles Mimer traps Jim in an invisible box with a phone, mimimg that he, Charles Mimer, will only let him, Jim, out when he, Jim, has completed 3 sales calls. Jim mugs the camera as the invisible box slowly fills with urine and fecal matter.
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Jun 21, 2022 09:45
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It's a rainy morning at the office when Michael calls everyone in to the conference room. He's flanked by Toby and Holly. "I uh...I don't know how best to put this. Last night, Jim Halpert was crossing the street when he was run down by a bus. They rushed him to the hospital but...," Michael can't maintain eye contact with the group, "but he didn't make it. Jim passed away last night." The assembled employees are silent, unsure of how to process this information. Michael goes on to explain that Holly and Toby are both there for anyone who wants to speak to them, and HR can arrange for a grief counselor to be on site. Kevin says "I think we'll be okay" and then heads back to his desk. As the day goes on, Dwight keeps waiting for Jim to appear. This is obviously another elaborate prank, he's pretended to be dead before. Hell, Michael even said Jim was "run down". Pretty funny. But 5 o'clock hits with no sign of Jim, so Dwight heads home. The next day Michael announces the funeral arrangements for Jim. "Pam said Jim insisted on an open casket, but warned me that it's pretty bad. They had to scrape him out of the wheel well of that bus, I guess it looked like a cherry pie exploded. Speaking of, in the event of his death Jim also arranged this cherry pie delivery. So, uh... it's sitting in the break room if you want it." The pie remains uneaten. At the funeral, Dwight is on high alert. He's convinced Jim is going to pop out of the casket, or push HIM in the casket, or maybe just be hiding in the crowd. But Dwight is mistaken. The open casket is a horror show. Jim's face looks like a rotten pumpkin. His left eye socket, now filled with a glass eye, is wide open and the shining bauble within stares out at everyone. Dwight heads outside for a breath of fresh air. Pam catches up to him. "It's bad, huh?" Pam offers Dwight a drag on her cigarette. Dwight, who quit years ago, takes her up on the offer. "The coroner said Jim looked like a big pile of soup on the road that night, nobody's sure why he was crossing where he was. The worst part is he didn't die on impact. He held on for a few hours. Jesus, Dwight, can you imagine?" Dwight can. The mental image of a horribly disfigured Jim howling in pain has been haunting him for a while now. Pam moves closer. "You know, Jim was so focused on pranks," she moves a searching hand to Dwight's thigh, "that he didn't focus on more important things in life." Pam brings her lips close to Dwight's ear. Dwight pulls away in shock and apologizes, saying that he didn't intend for Pam to get the wrong impression. He fumbles back into the funeral home, leaving Pam alone outside. "Hey, Dwight, we think we're going to get out of here. This is too much, man," says an obviously uncomfortable Michael, "this whole thing is ghoulish." Dwight says a final goodbye to Jim and then leaves. As he pulls out of the parking lot he sees Pam staring at him, an icy expression on her face. Dwight utters a quiet "Jesus" as he pulls into traffic. That night, Dwight has terrible dreams about a pumpkin-headed Jim dancing in a corn field. At the end of his dance, Jim removes his head and dozens of fat flies pour out. Dwight wakes up in a cold sweat and heads to the kitchen for a drink of beet juice to calm himself down. As Dwight heads down the hall, he notices that the bathroom light is on. Thinking he forgot to turn it off, he opens the bathroom door. Standing in the shower is Jim, entirely nude, his rotten head covered in shampoo. His already skeletal frame is now covered with stitches from where the mortician did his work. "Hey, buddy! Just showering off some of that grave dirt! Wanna join me?" Jim's voice sounds like it's being played on a phonograph at the bottom of a pool, but Dwight still understands. The specter of Jim reaches out with his skeletal fingers. "I've heard of a wedding shower, but a funeral shower?!" Jim laughs maniacally as Dwight flees into the night. Until the sun rises, Dwight sits in his beet field and stares at his house. The bathroom light remains on the entire time. As the sun rises, Dwight finally finds the confidence to go back inside. He heads upstairs and finds his bathroom empty. There is no sign of Jim. He searches the entire house and finds nothing, not even a speck of dirt or an odd smell. Maybe he really did hallucinate all of this. Even his shampoo bottle is right where he left it, which would be impossible if Jim had really been there last night. Dwight calls Michael to let him know he'll be a little late this morning. "Dwight, I saw him last night, too."
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Jun 21, 2022 13:23
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Spectral exploded pumpkin head Jim's hands burst out of the ground, as he claws his way out of his grave, "wait until Balloon Boy sees the haunting I've got in store for him." Jim is chuckling to himself as his head pokes out of the ground, to be met by the icy stare of Charles Miner. "Good evening Jim, so I guess rumours of your death were exaggerated?" "G-ggg-good evening M-mm-mister Miner." There is a strong smell of formandehyde as spectral Jim starts sweating profusely and tugging at his collar. "Please Jim, Mr Miner is my father, you can call me Charles Miner. So, this whole thing was just an elaborate ploy to get out of work. Since I'm here and you're apparently alive why don't you go ahead and give me the rundown?" Jim laughs anxiously "N-nnn-no, I'm definitely dead Charles M-miner, I mean look at my head, it's all hosed up like an exploded pumpkin, no way I could fake this." "Dead or not, I don't think that kind of language is appropriate to use around your boss." Charles Miner seems to be staring into spectral Jim's very soul. "S-sss-sorry." Spectral Jim stutters, shaking with fear at this point. Charles Miner continues: "It seems to me Jim that the natural order of things is that the dead stay in the ground, you wouldn't want to contravene the natural order would you?" Jim looks down and shakes his head sheepishly. "So why don't you go ahead and get back in your grave and stay put, because if you feel like stretching your legs again, I will be here waiting, and I will expect that rundown, no more excuses." Jim starts frantically clawing at the loose dirt around the grave trying to re-bury himself. "Allow me to help you with that Jim." Charles Miner picks up a shovel and starts shoveling dirt onto Jim, all the while staring menacingly into his, Jim's, dead, lifeless eyes. jazzyhattrick fucked around with this message at 14:48 on Jun 21, 2022 |
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Jun 21, 2022 14:44
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Oscar is unimpressed with Jim's latest jape where Jim hit Dwight with a banana cream pie, dumped a bucket of whitewash down his (Dwight's) trousers and got Dwight caught in a ladder. "What is this, Vaudeville?" asks Oscar. "You need to update your act." The next morning, Jim comes to work dressed in an ancient Mayan headdress and loincloth. He farts in Dwight's face and shrieks "smell my farts, wizard penis!"
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Jun 21, 2022 14:48
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Applewhite posted:Oscar is unimpressed with Jim's latest jape where Jim hit Dwight with a banana cream pie, dumped a bucket of whitewash down his (Dwight's) trousers and got Dwight caught in a ladder. The next day Jim comes to work in ancient Sumerian garb, a visibly nauseated Pam is sitting on his lap. "Hey guys, look, she isn't farting! How crazy is this, must be the first time in history or something"
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Jun 21, 2022 14:59
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Spectral Jim has been haunting Dwight's shower every morning (he leaves early to catch the spectral bus, and comes back late every night from his shift at the spectral branch of Dundler Mifflin ("Talk about the graveyard shift!" Jim quips every night when he is back)) for the past month or so, starting soon after his bus accident. This causes Dwight's utility bills to go up a smidge, not to mention that Angela and Dwight have now to prepare Jim's (beet-based) boxed lunch as well, in addition to their usual home chores. Not to mention Spectral Jim is down in the dumps ever since the accident (Spectral Jim hasn't pranked Dwight yet all month, in fact he seems genuinely grateful for the food and board). Angela, tired of this extra work, tells Dwight to get rid of Spectral Jim, or else. One weekend, when Spectral Jim is loudly crying in the attic (as he usually does when he's home), Dwight brings a bottle of beet liquor and two glasses, intent on helping Spectral Jim out of his funk. Just to light things up a bit, Dwight even brings a whoopee cushion in his back pocket and sits on it when they grab a seat. After a heartfelt conversation, where Spectral Jim lays bare his soul (so to speak) about his fears of being surpassed by his children, the sham marriage to Pam, Charles Miner all up his grill, his pranking addiction, and so on, Spectral Jim decides to finally move on. In the next Monday, Spectral Jim catches the spectral bus and he doesn't come back that night. On the next week, Dwight sits on a whoopee cushion left on his office chair. He smiles and a small tear runs down his cheek.
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Jun 21, 2022 15:03
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seated in the dunder-mifflin bathroom stall, dwight reaches for the toilet paper only to discover that jim has replaced it, the paper, with an adult male elephant seal it's not clear how dwight missed sight of the beast on entering the stall, but he puts it down to some cunning misdirection on jim's part. the seal eyes dwight warily, and blows moist air at him through its protuding nose
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Jun 21, 2022 15:05
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Dwight ties a whoopee cushion to the bottom of each of Dwight's shoes so it sounds like Dwight is farting with every step he takes.
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Jun 21, 2022 15:07
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"Wow, so I'm related to Jim Halpert?" says the small boy staring at a hologram of Jim. "That's right, Bzyxyzsyz! But don't worry, he's long dead and his terrible, terrible pranks are outlawed in our world." "Jeez, talk about a real future SCHLOCK!" says the little boy, laughing, as he leaps at his father's face. The boy begins clawing at his father's eyes and howling like an animal. The other attendees of the Museum of Maniacs stare in horror as Bzyxyzsyz Halpthorne, a distant descendant of Jim, murders his father in cold blood. The boy, only 9 years old, looks up at the assembled, gawking crowd. "I've heard of a dog playing dead before, but a Dad?!" The boy rushes past the crowd. In the year 4008 all crime is outlawed, all pranks are taboo. The boy's act of violence is the first crime in nearly 900 years and society has no way to cope with it. The boy rushes into the Hall of Time Machines, where he stands before a metallic sphere. He reads the information hologram floating in front of it and nods approvingly. He hops in the machine and begins tapping buttons and pulling levers as the machine hums to life. "H.G. Wells... more like.... H.G. SMELLS!" His words echo across the marble expanse of the museum as the machine disappears, launching backwards in time. It's destination? Scranton, Pennsylvania. June, 2022. Suddenly Dwiball Schutern III, the museum's curator, arrives. He looks at the empty spot where the time machine once stood. A mournful look crosses his face as he raises his wrist. A metallic band adorns it, and he presses a small green button on the device. There's a tiny click and Dwiball begins speaking carefully. "Alert the Council. The final die has been cast. The Crisis of Infinite Jims has begun."
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Jun 21, 2022 15:08
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Jim ties a whoopee cushion to the bottom of some of the shoes on the squeaky shoe robot. It is now the squeaky, farty shoe robot.
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Jun 21, 2022 15:12
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Jim shows up to the office at 3am, entering with a key he stole and copied from Hank. Jim is carrying an armload of soup cans. Some of the cans clatter to the ground as he tries to press the elevator button with his knee. "Just wait until Dwight gets a loaf of how I've 'souped up' the elevator!" Jim cackles. The elevator dings and the doors part to reveal Charles Miner. "Good morning, Jim," says Charles. "Here to get an early start on that rundown?" Jim fumbles in fright and soup cans go rolling in all directions.
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Jun 21, 2022 15:19
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Jim sticks a hornet's nest under Dwight's gas pedal. When Dwight hits the gas to head home, he crushes the nest and unleashes dozens of angry hornets. Jim mugs for the camera as Dwight is viciously stung again and again.
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Jun 21, 2022 15:22
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Bzyxyzsyz Halpthorne emerges from his time machine in the offices of Dunder Mifflin, and finds himself face to face with Charles Miner. Charles Miner gives Bzyxyzsyz Halpthorne a withering stare and simply shakes his, Charles Miner's, head. Bzyxyzsyz's eyes go wide as he, Bzyxyzsyz, slowly backs into his, Bzyxyzsyz's, time machine.
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Jun 21, 2022 15:23
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Jim glues a bunch of slices of Famous Original Jim's pizza together, creating a "Pizza Suit". "Hey Dwight, you want a PIZZA me?" he laughs, menacingly, as he struts around the office in his Pizza Suit. Pam is secretly recording all of this at the request of her lawyer. They both believe that she has a good chance of a judge ruling Jim incompetent, allowing Pam to have complete control over his vast fortune. Her cell phone buzzes and she glances down at the text. It's from Katy, Jim's old girlfriend and the former "hot girl" who sold purses in the office. "Can't wait to be together w/ u. Should be easy 2 get Jim committed." Yes, Pam thinks, it should be very easy. "Eyyyyy, I KNEAD a little dough here, Dwight. At YEAST 5 bucks. Whatsamatter, too CHEESY a joke?" Jim laughs, still wearing a suit constructed of stale pizza.
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Jun 21, 2022 15:54
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Jim gets blown up by a landmine. Charles Miner mugs the camera.
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Jun 21, 2022 16:15
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Jim gets trapped in a Coal Mine. Charles Miner mugs the camera.
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Jun 21, 2022 16:16
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Jim shares an awkward beer with Charles and gets arrested for providing alcohol to Miners.
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Jun 21, 2022 16:25
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Applewhite posted:Jim shares an awkward beer with Charles and gets arrested for providing alcohol to Miners. Jim is getting hoisted by his own petard here as it was his abuse of the Scranton dog-catching statutes that made provision of alcohol to "Miners" [sic] a class III misdemeanor in the first place.
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Jun 21, 2022 16:27
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Jim has his identity stolen resulting in the loss of millions of dollars from the pranking fund. In a completely unrelated turn of events, after claiming to be a "huge Star Trek fan", Charles Miner has recently changed his, Charles Miner's, middle name to Data. jazzyhattrick fucked around with this message at 16:33 on Jun 21, 2022 |
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Jun 21, 2022 16:29
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Jim is tunneling under Dwight's house when his tunnel pokes into an already existing tunnel. This one is extremely well-maintained, with electric lights and an elaborate ventilation and drainage system. "Weird, did I do this prank already?" Suddenly, a bright light blinds Jim. He instinctively hisses as he guards his eyes. "Jim? It's Tuesday, Jim, why aren't you in the office?" Jim would know that voice anywhere, it's Charles Miner. He's wearing a hardhat with a bright light attached and a jumpsuit with "DUNDER MIFFLIN UNDERGROUND" printed on it. Jim is about to ask why Charles is underground on a Tuesday, but thinks better of it. "Jim, you're not on this project. Why aren't you making sales calls right now? Time is money, Jim." Jim silently scurries back to his tunnel. He's about to wander away when Charles snaps his fingers, catching Jim's attention. "Hey! You gonna seal up that hole or just leave a huge mess?" Jim reluctantly seals up the hole behind him and wanders back. He no longer feels much like digging a tunnel under Dwight's house and collapsing the entire house while shouting "Jeez, I've heard of the Velvet Underground, but Dwight's House Underground?" Charles continues mining diligently.
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Jun 21, 2022 16:34
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To appease Charles Miner, Jim places three sales calls to the circus, asking them if they need any more clown paper.
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Jun 21, 2022 17:43
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Dwight is tasked with uncovering where the office's supply of scotch tape has gone, as dozens of rolls have seemingly disappeared, causing a major discrepancy in the tape budget. Suspecting Jim, Dwight confronts him and asks if he's used any tape lately. "Oh, you automatically think I'm stealing all the tape? To do what, Dwight? Wrap my genitals up in tape to make them appear larger in my pants? That's ridiculous and I'm tired of constantly being blamed for everything around here!" Jim stands up, revealing a massive bulge in his crotch. As he walks away, a distinct crinkling noise issues forth from the bulge.
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Jun 21, 2022 18:14
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Jim opens up a TGI-Fridays type bar&grill (or whatever the gently caress TGI Fridays is) called J.H. Prankigan's. The restaurant quickly gains a reputation for pranking every customer that eats there. Most patrons never even get through their appetizers before being driven off the premises by the barrage of pranks. Many people don't even know J.H. Prankigan's is a restaurant, believing it to be an escape room type ARG puzzle challenge. A subculture of "prankbeaters" forms around the restaurant. Dozens of YouTube videos showcase how to evade Prankigans' more common pranks and it becomes a challenge to see who can make it the farthest through a meal without getting pranked. Prank_me_Harder_Daddy_xXx reportedly managed to order dessert before getting launched through the ceiling by an Air Force surplus ejector seat. Anyway Jim always chooses J.H. Prankigan's when his name is drawn from the hat for Dunder Mifflin's office lunches and Dwight has to endure several hours of intense and obnoxious pranks.
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Jun 21, 2022 19:56
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Dwight arrives at work and sits down at his desk. Dwight's weight on the seat triggers a cluster of hidden helium tanks. Dozens of balloons burst from Dwight's desk and chair and lift Dwight up into the air. The ceiling above Dwight opens on hinges and within seconds Dwight is drifting up into the sky. "Have a nice trip, balloon boy!" calls Jim, waving farewell at Dwight. "See you next fall!"
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Jun 21, 2022 20:05
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Jim is sweating bullets pretending to work while Charles Miner catches up on emails. Jim hears a familiar squeaking sound and realizes to his horror that he left his squeaky shoe machine running. Jim's blood freezes when he sees the machine wandering directly into the office where Charles is working.
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Jun 21, 2022 20:13
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Dwight walks into the break room, and finds Jim sitting alone at a table that’s been dressed up with an extremely fancy place setting, using what looks like to be the most expensive chinaware he’s ever seen. Jim is an avatar of etiquette, politely eating with a fork knife, and wiping his mouth with an elegant handkerchief after every bite. Though he is pretty much totally nude except for a pair of red tennis shoes, he is also wearing a red bowtie and a smooth black top hat made of rare silk. The room is dimly lit and decorated with candles, and slow jazz fills the air. Dwight is actually glad to see that Jim is eating something else other than creepy crawlers or Tiny Jims for once, and he actually seems to be learning proper meal etiquette. However, as he gets a closer look at the plate, he notices that Jim is eating a large stack of letters, newspapers, and leaflets. It’s then that Dwight remembers that his mailbox was unusually empty this morning (it always arrives before he goes to work, you see.) “I’ve heard of a nail biter, but a mail biter?!” Jim unnervingly says as he scoops up another helping of Dwight’s mail. Jim glances down and sees a birthday check from Dwight’s great grandmother Bertrude. He, Jim, looks back at the camera with a wide mug and waves obnoxiously for an imaginary waiter. “Mmmmmmmmmnghcheck please!”
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Jun 22, 2022 06:20
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Elon Musk, dressed as Waluigi, is holding a meeting at Dunder Mifflin HQ. He is unveiling his plans to rename the Dunder Mifflin Underground project to the Scranto-Loop. The efficient and carbon-neutral light rail system as originally designed by Dwight will be replaced by single occupant clown cars powered by laptop batteries. Just as Musk starts boasting about how the entire project was his idea all along Charles Miner effortlessly kicks the door to the meeting room off its hinges and walks in. He is dressed as Zipper and is wearing a yellow hardhat, covered in dust he has clearly come straight from the dig site. Charles Miner fixes Musk with an unblinking stare of maximum intensity and sternly shakes his, Charles Miner's, head. Without a word, Musk rips the Scranto-Loop map from the wall and sets fire to it. Charles Miner smiles, walks up to Musk, claps him, Elon Musk, on the shoulder and hands him, Musk, a red cut-off T-shirt. Charles Miner is still smiling, but is now staring at Musk insistently. Quivering with fear, Musk disrobes and dons the Zipper garb. After what seems like an eternity, Charles Miner finally speaks. "I'm glad we understand eachother Elon, I can expect that rundown from you later today right?" Musk starts sweating profusely and tugging at his collar. "S-sss-ss-s sure thing m-mm-mister Miner." "Please Elon, Mr Miner is my father's name, you can call me Charles Miner." Charles Miner stares authoritatively at the camera. jazzyhattrick fucked around with this message at 10:40 on Jun 22, 2022 |
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Jun 22, 2022 10:29
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British Jim paces anxiously, not knowing what the Rundown is; the film was released under the name Welcome To The Jungle in the UK. Another tooth falls out and tinkles to the ground.
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Jun 22, 2022 11:14
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Jim jokingly mentions that Charles Miner looks like Stringer Bell. Jim's Laughter is cut short by Charles Miner "I don't think comparing the appearance of your African American co-worker to that of a fictional TV drug kingpin is a laughing matter, do you Jim?" Jim goes beet red, starts sweating profusely and tugging at his collar "N-nn-nnno, I d-dd-don't at all, I was only, I mean what I meant was, oh god." Charles Miner cuts him off, "Gonna need to see that rundown today Jim." Charles Miner turns on his, Charles Miner's, heels and walks out of the office. The scene cuts to Charles Miner making a call on a street corner payphone. Later that night Jim is gunned down outside his, Jim's, house by Brother Mouzone.
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Jun 22, 2022 11:29
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Dwight arrives at work and sees Jim is already there putting the finishing touches on some contraption of strings and pulleys that crisscrosses the office like a spiderweb. "Jim, shouldn't you be working on that rundown for Charles instead of playing pranks?" asks Dwight. Jim smirks. "Oh don't you worry, balloon boy. Chucky thinks he's got me all figured out but thanks to this gadget, my troubles will be over the minute he zips through that door," says Jim, his smirk becoming manic. Dwight considers warning Charles, but—as if reading Dwight's thoughts—Jim says "and don't get any bright ideas about warning him either." Jim presses a button on a remote control and a giant bubble hoop drops from the ceiling around Dwight. Dwight finds himself suddenly enclosed in a giant, unbreakable soundproof bubble. As Dwight struggles to break the futuristic hydrocarbon film around him, Jim says "I know you can't hear me, balloon boy but struggling is pointless. That balloon you're in is indestructible, but it will dissolve naturally in a few minutes. Just long enough for you to watch me triumph over that buzzing pest once and for all!" Jim sits down at his desk and waits for Charles to arrive. Right on time, the elevator dings and Charles steps into the office. Dwight screams silently and pounds on the transparent membrane walls of his enclosure. Charles Miner takes a step forward, his ankle catching on a tripwire stretched across the door. Jim's machine springs to life. Pulleys whirl and counterweights drop, pinwheels spin and calliope music plays as a .38 snub-nosed pistol drops from a trapdoor in the ceiling in a shower of confetti and dangles right next to Jim's face. Without breaking eye contact with Dwight Jim takes the pistol in his hand and, still smirking, presses the gun to his temple and pulls the trigger, blowing his brains out all over Phyllis. Jim slumps forward on his desk facing the camera, his smirk now an expression of peace. Applewhite fucked around with this message at 13:51 on Jun 22, 2022 |
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Jun 22, 2022 13:47
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Jim shows up to work totally nude except for a pair of tennis shoes and painted blue from head to toe (except for his arms). He runs speedy circles around Dwight while mugging the camera. "Gotta go fast, Balloon Boy!" he taunts. Charles Miner shows up to work ALSO totally nude except for a pair of tennis shoes, except he has painted himself red, grown long dreadlocks, and is wearing white boxing gloves with strange protruding lumps along the knuckles. "I don't chuckle, Jim," says Charles Miner. Then he punches Jim the gently caress out. sudonim fucked around with this message at 13:57 on Jun 22, 2022 |
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Jun 22, 2022 13:53
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Applewhite posted:Dwight arrives at work and sees Jim is already there putting the finishing touches on some contraption of strings and pulleys that crisscrosses the office like a spiderweb. I'm unclear on this story. Did Jim blow his own brains out or Dwight's? And whose desk does Jim slump forward on to? Also, was Charles Miner wearing his Zipper outfit? This is important.
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Jun 22, 2022 13:59
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I know we’re all having fun but please make sure to make it clear through the use of pronouns who is doing what!
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Jun 22, 2022 14:01
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Cosmic Jim is sweating profusely and tugging at his collar as he scours the multiverse for the knowledge of what a rundown is and where to get one. Cosmic Charles Miner could return at any moment.
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Jun 22, 2022 14:10
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Jjim sjits sjmugly ajt hjis djesk, hjands ljaced bjehind hjis, Jjims, ejars. Diwight gilances uip firom hiis wiork, wiondering wihat hie, Jiim, iis uip tio tihis tiime. Niothing sieems oiut oif tihe oirdinary, biut hie, Diwight, ciannot sihake tihe fieeling siomething iis wirong. Ams hmis emssence pmermeates tmhe wmorld, Cmosmic Jmim mmugs tmhe cmamera.
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Jun 22, 2022 14:25
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Cosmic Elon also exists but he's too busy getting owned on Cosmic Twitter to get anything done.
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Jun 22, 2022 14:35
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Jim replaces all of Dwight's hemoglobin with hemogoblins, microscopic Tiny Jims that carry oxygen. However, they are lazy and incompetent, just like Jim, and Dwight eventually succumbs to exsanguination.
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Jun 22, 2022 14:38
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| # ? May 29, 2024 16:55 |
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Jim swaps Dwight's lunch with a plastic duplicate crafted by the finest Japanese fake food sculptors.
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Jun 22, 2022 14:44
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