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bad guy posted:i mean, we all know how this goes. somehow it's "chill" to try and get a thread you don't like shut down, but it's not chill to call people out for being pathetic busybodies who are so completely unable to chill that the very existence of a thread that doesn't cater to their particular emotional disposition gets shut down. or, and this is just a thought, people totally get what you were trying to do and that gallows humor is a fair response to a really loving lovely thing that happened BUT they also realize that this is the chill zone and that means everyone needs to feel comfortable posting here. it's not really the place for that kind of thing and we do have like... 90 percent of the forums where it'd be appropriate? is there anything that would be lost by posting that thread in GBS? you say don't read it - well fine but you realize that your thread keeps being put to the top any time anyone posts so people coming here to try to escape some of this poo poo are constantly reminded of a thing that is causing them stress irl not trying to pick on you or anyone who posted in that thread - i personally found many of the posts funny but a few people came to me suggesting that it was upsetting them and i don't want to see any yobber feeling uncomfortable posting here. especially when the solution is as simple as keeping the thread in another part of the forums. fwiw i did not report the thread and am sorry if this has upset you or anyone else, don't want to drive you away from posting here either friend |
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Jun 29, 2022 02:11
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 09:29 |
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Gay/et al rights are under attack and is scaring a lot of people. It's a definite political topic and there's a thread about it stickied to the top of the forum. Seems a few people just want to be able to speak about certain things they deem chill enough.
https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4 |
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Jun 29, 2022 02:16
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Viginti Septem posted:Gay/et al rights are under attack and is scaring a lot of people. It's a definite political topic and there's a thread about it stickied to the top of the forum. Seems a few people just want to be able to speak about certain things they deem chill enough. okay well BYOB is explicitly supposed to be a politics free zone for starters - again not suggesting silencing anyone, but we do have GBS, FYAD and lots of other spaces where this thread would be more than welcome. what is the objection to moving the thread? have yet to see one legit argument against it |
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Jun 29, 2022 02:22
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For a long time I worked in a very difficult place. I did front line work running daily groups and activities in a psychiatric ward for people trapped in the criminal justice system. Rikers Island sent us the people they couldn’t or wouldn’t deal with. I walked past gated bars and lovely men to go to work. Every day I was surrounded by terrible stories, people living their rock bottom, individuals living with psychosis of the most debilitating sort, and, rarely, psychopaths one could reasonably describe as evil. I did my best to make the environment less traumatic, less hurtful than it so easily could be. I worked with a small group of other activity therapists, all of us doing our best to maintain. In our locked office we would sometimes joke and be insensitive because it was a tool in a toolbox of ways to dull the sharp edges of what we had to witness and work with every day. We would only do it sometimes and only with each other. We didn’t trust that other people would understand there can be many ways to process hurt. We used all of them. I see and hear the pain surrounding what is happening which is why I wish it was more readily understood that thread was a small odd way to process. |
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Jun 29, 2022 02:24
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Bo-Pepper posted:For a long time I worked in a very difficult place. I did front line work running daily groups and activities in a psychiatric ward for people trapped in the criminal justice system. Rikers Island sent us the people they couldn’t or wouldn’t deal with. I walked past gated bars and lovely men to go to work. Every day I was surrounded by terrible stories, people living their rock bottom, individuals living with psychosis of the most debilitating sort, and, rarely, psychopaths one could reasonably describe as evil. I did my best to make the environment less traumatic, less hurtful than it so easily could be. thanks for sharing this again though - people totally understand that folks were processing things in their own way - that keeps being brought up and yeah, everyone gets that... let me see if i can try to get across what i'm trying to say better why did you joke in the locked office? is it because maybe there were some situations or places where those jokes wouldn't have been welcome or appropriate? places where you might have accidentally caused harm to others who were dealing with stress and trauma? would you go into a space that advertises itself as chill, calm, welcoming and safe to make those jokes? Stoner Sloth fucked around with this message at 02:43 on Jun 29, 2022 |
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Jun 29, 2022 02:38
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Because it is a safe place to make those jokes where people won't say and do stupid poo poo just to be edgy. You think if I posted that thread in another forum it would have gotten the kinds of posts it did here? I mean I'm not big on pulling rank or nothing but both Bo-Pepper and I have been posting in this forum since literally day 1. I don't know how this forum was presented to you but maybe you kind of misunderstood it. |
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Jun 29, 2022 02:48
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I mean like I don't see what's really welcoming about shutting a thread down but maybe this is some other version of welcoming I'm not aware of. |
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Jun 29, 2022 02:50
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I'm glad Stoner Sloth is writing all these things, so I don't have to. |
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Jun 29, 2022 02:51
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I would argue the thread was the locked office. Someone has to make the affirmative choice to click and read it. I remember when my father died. I made a thread about it. This place helped me. Still, no one would argue that they want this place to be one thread after another where people piece apart deep traumas. But sometimes something happens where someone pulls the trigger and goes their own way because that’s what they need and they hope the people here will either let it go or join in for a while. |
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Jun 29, 2022 02:53
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I guess I do have something to add. One of the best things about all of the forums is that they're moderated. There are people who set boundaries on what you can and cannot post. I don't always agree with the decisions they make, but I am glad somebody's making them, because it sets the character of the forums in a way that's made the whole site a very pleasant place that doesn't really exist elsewhere. |
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Jun 29, 2022 03:04
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I couldn’t agree more. And while I won’t always agree on decisions made I’m happy they’re there. |
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Jun 29, 2022 03:07
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bad guy posted:Because it is a safe place to make those jokes where people won't say and do stupid poo poo just to be edgy. You think if I posted that thread in another forum it would have gotten the kinds of posts it did here? i sympathize with you on your first point. not sure what to suggest there, though there are probably options, but: from the rules thread: 6. BYOB is a no politics talk zone. We are all over saturated with news about the presidential election and results. You can't be an island of chill and discuss this, so we're not going to. We have a thread to discuss positive steps you can take in the world and in your own personal life to help us all deal with the political situation, but that thread should be focused on positive suggestions and not divert into political conversations. Thank you for helping us maintain a safe place to take a break from all this chaos. so is it possible that you haven't kept up with how this forum is being presented old timer?  Bo-Pepper posted:I would argue the thread was the locked office. Someone has to make the affirmative choice to click and read it. with regards to the locked office - it'd be a locked office with flashing neon sign on the door saying 'jokes about x this way' since it keeps being bumped and is constantly visible to anyone browsing the yob but it'd also be a locked office in a place with a policy specifically saying to take that kind of joking elsewhere since as noted it's a BYOB rule i totally get the value of this place in terms of dealing with poo poo - the yob was good to me when i was dealing with some horrible poo poo, both death of a loved one and dealing with one of those psychopaths you mentioned earlier. i like everyone involved here as posters and haven't intended this as a criticism of anyone fwiw, just a suggestion that we move the thread i guess for me the deciding factor in all this is that multiple people have said this was actually upsetting them, not in theory, not as an argument about free speech but in reality - if this is to be a chill place then surely that has to hold some weight first and foremost? e: i wrote a dumb last line here that came off as more abrasive than intended, i guess i meant that a few people have mentioned being upset by this and not feeling able to speak up and that often the voices speaking the loudest aren't those most effected. Stoner Sloth fucked around with this message at 03:26 on Jun 29, 2022 |
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Jun 29, 2022 03:13
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Ahh welp if “dudes” is where this is going I’m out of this conversation. |
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Jun 29, 2022 03:24
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Bo-Pepper posted:Ahh welp if “dudes” is where this is going I’m out of this conversation. yeah what i wrote was dumbly put and in hindsight likely to come across abrasively - full apologies e: also going to drop this, will think about what people have said and hope they think about where i'm coming from with this too Stoner Sloth fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Jun 29, 2022 |
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Jun 29, 2022 03:27
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If I'm reading this right the thread got kicked because women came to you SS and said they couldn't speak out against the dudes in that thread? |
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Jun 29, 2022 03:33
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It’s fine. I know you’re coming from a good place. There’s no winners here. Someone’s emotional needs needed to be stepped on and a decision was made. |
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Jun 29, 2022 03:35
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Viginti Septem posted:If I'm reading this right the thread got kicked because women came to you SS and said they couldn't speak out against the dudes in that thread? i didn't have anything to do with thread getting kicked - not a mod nor did i report it but several people have mentioned to me feeling uncomfortable about it, and not feeling able to (possibly due to being exhausted and unable to deal with it right now) speak up about it like someone i hadn't talked to about it literally expressed that sentiment a few posts ago so uh... yeah? |
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Jun 29, 2022 03:36
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Bo-Pepper posted:It’s fine. I know you’re coming from a good place. thanks - well put and a good point i like everyone here and am just sorry that this is a really lovely time with horrible things going down, am sure everyone is on edge to some degree about it much love to all of you |
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Jun 29, 2022 03:38
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I just found a forlorn stanley flask on my desk and it had some sort of bourbon so I mixed it with a third of coke and now I'm gonna dedicate this forlorn Tuesday night to my byob buds 
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Jun 29, 2022 06:01
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I am drinking a New Belgium Voodoo Ranger Juicy Haze IPA. It's pleasant, but something that would not impress an aficionado since it's like a lot of other IPAs. Easy to drink. A bit hoppy. I really want to try something wild like an oyster stout or one of the wild concoctions that EFN produces. I know that there's beers based on oranges or tangerines. But if I ever go to Japan, I want to find a yuzu lager.
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Jun 29, 2022 06:10
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There are a few yuzu beers here. There's a hyuganatsu lager I know of. I make a lot of IPA as well. Pale ale and IPA tend to be the big sellers. |
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Jun 29, 2022 06:12
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very few things have given me more anxiety in my life than replacing a fuckin' compact flourescent light bulb
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Jun 29, 2022 06:13
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I made a yuzu Cha pale ale recently. It came out okay, but the yuzu character is sorta weak. Not a bad beer though. |
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Jun 29, 2022 06:14
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Escape From Noise posted:There are a few yuzu beers here. There's a hyuganatsu lager I know of. You really make it hard for me to resist coming to Japan some day.
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Jun 29, 2022 06:14
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Escape From Noise posted:I made a yuzu Cha pale ale recently. It came out okay, but the yuzu character is sorta weak. Not a bad beer though. I really want to get some yuzu tea now. I think strong flavorings in beer are best as hints and not strong enough to be noticable. Which would be terrible if I were older but pumpkin flavor beer tends to be much too sweet (so sweet that it tastes cloying, which is  ) if they try to make it noticeable.
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Jun 29, 2022 06:18
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i … i have never tasted yuzu |
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Jun 29, 2022 06:32
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go taste some it's great
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Jun 29, 2022 06:35
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Bo-Pepper posted:i … i have never tasted yuzu Oh man! It's really nice, IMHO. Kind of a mix of orange and grapefruit. The juice is very tart, but it's sorta dry so mainly people use the peel. Yuzu kosho is a really easy way to try it with things. It's spicy and really interesting. |
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Jun 29, 2022 06:36
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Later, y'all. |
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Jun 29, 2022 12:18
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sb hermit posted:very few things have given me more anxiety in my life than replacing a fuckin' compact flourescent light bulb As long as you replace it with pretty much anything that isn't a fuckin' compact fluorescent light bulb, the rewards will be worth the trouble.
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Jun 29, 2022 12:44
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One time when I was under 15 I nearly killed myself trying to replace a broken incandescent bulb. If I hadn't fallen off a ladder it probably would have stopped my heart. At least the CFL doesn't expose you directly to fibrillation inducing current when the glass breaks. |
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Jun 29, 2022 13:20
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Page 420!!! wait I'm not drunk I'm not seeing double it's 4220 okay false alarm
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Jun 29, 2022 14:55
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Frankly, I don't for a second buy the protestations of discomfort and moreover I bet I could guess within a comfortable margin of error exactly which posters it was that have nothing better to do than make this place as unwelcoming as possible to anyone who doesn't conform to their particular definition of what a "safe space" looks like. I do not feel safe posting with busybodies like [names redacted here because it's not worth it and anyway, anyone who pays attention already knows who they are]. I could go on. And I mean that not in some abstract way where they might write something that upsets me. I mean that when I post, the same clique of humorless control freaks starts a whisper campaign to get my threads closed or gassed and people like stoner sloth think they're doing something good instead of facilitating bullying. I am absolutely sure that my perspective will not be actually seriously considered because I don't camp out in the chat thread and on discord all day but I want to be clear that there are sometimes threads in BYOB that I do not particularly like, for instance, I think the mental health thread is a bad idea for plenty of reasons and doesn't fit the forum either, and you could easily ask why it isn't posted in E/N or TGD or in fact the mental health thread that already exists in CCCC. But from *my* perspective, chill involves having the flexibility to sit with things that make you mildly uncomfortable, and that is the absolute truth: there is no rational way the existence of my thread was making anybody feel anything more than mild, totally manageable discomfort. The degree to which posters are infantilizing themselves and then expecting -- and receiving! -- special deference is wild. They are not the victims here. They are the gatekeepers. They are the ones who have persistently, for years, made this space less welcoming, less chill, than it could be. I want to reflect by the way, that BYOB was never intended to be a "safe space." That's not in the rules and for a very good reason. If you want safe space, I don't know, maybe there can be a BYOB subforum, TSS, and then BYOB can be a forum for adults who want to be chill and have gentle fun without having to pretend that the outside world doesn't exist at all. And by the way I think there has been a distinct misunderstanding about the "no politics" rule, which was made to forestall discussions of electoral politics like party politics and so on, not to get rid of anything that could conceivably be considered political in any sense, and certainly not anything that, as I said, remembers that there's a real world and some of the stuff in it is sad or infuriating. So tap that "no political discussions" rule all you want: it doesn't apply here. You'll have to find some other justification for your desire to get everyone to cater to your extreme emotional fragility. The thread I posted was an active thread. There were posts by a number of posters who seemed to be getting something from it. That these posters were getting something from it seems to be of no importance in this discussion. That they were doing so in a completely appropriate way means nothing apparently. All that matters is that if certain people complain, the thread gets closed because... Heck I don't know why. Maybe because they'll stomp off and say they're leaving for the nth time. Because it's easier to stop the boat from rocking than to ask people to Use Their Tools to maintain even a modicum of flexibility and chill. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) bad guy fucked around with this message at 15:51 on Jun 29, 2022 |
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Jun 29, 2022 15:40
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Thank you, bad guy, for not moving on after Manifisto and myself have specifically not weighted in on this on the chat thread and everyone else tried to move on. I'm going to move on now, for you.
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Jun 29, 2022 15:54
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bad guy posted:Frankly, I don't for a second buy the protestations of discomfort and moreover I bet I could guess within a comfortable margin of error exactly which posters it was that have nothing better to do than make this place as unwelcoming as possible to anyone who doesn't conform to their particular definition of what a "safe space" looks like. I do not feel safe posting with busybodies like [names redacted here because it's not worth it and anyway, anyone who pays attention already knows who they are]. I could go on. And I mean that not in some abstract way where they might write something that upsets me. I mean that when I post, the same clique of humorless control freaks starts a whisper campaign to get my threads closed or gassed and people like stoner sloth think they're doing something good instead of facilitating bullying. I'm deeply uncomfortable with that thread, despite never saying a word to anyone about it. Not only were you joking about something that is very traumatic for so many, you are, by association, also joking about the people murdered trying to protect our right to bodily autonomy. I have two friends in the Midwest who are patient escorts; the chances of them being killed is so much higher now and there is nothing funny about it. It is not up to you to dictate whether or not uterus-havers should be comfortable with your jokes. Accusing us of being "humorless control freaks" is certainly not new, of course, although it is dreadfully cliche. Claiming you "don't feel safe posting" here simply because your thread wasn't well-received by all is disgusting. Driving down the continent with a pistol in her lap |
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Jun 29, 2022 16:02
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Sorry, GaG. This is a a personal issue for me and it took me awhile to post.
Driving down the continent with a pistol in her lap |
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Jun 29, 2022 16:03
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Goons Are Great posted:Thank you, bad guy, for not moving on after Manifisto and myself have specifically not weighted in on this on the chat thread and everyone else tried to move on. I'm going to move on now, for you. Make sure you probate xcheopsis too. Anyway, this is unreal. You -- by your own admission -- couldn't even be bothered to post in this thread to say "hey, it's time to move on." You couldn't send a pm. You just wanted to mash that button. You're a poo poo mod and you need to resign. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) |
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Jun 29, 2022 16:04
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Hello does anyone have any new pets? Mayhaps a crime? I have a crime, I haven't tried the new cheezit tostada from taco bell! (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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Jun 29, 2022 16:07
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wimsy posted:Make sure you probate xcheopsis too. Jesus Christ, I thought we've been over this long and often enough given our history, but you always want to go another way. I don't get it, I really do not, and frankly I will not be having this anymore either.
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Jun 29, 2022 16:13
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 09:29 |
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i like gallows humor as much as the next person but i try not to do it here. byob isn't supposed to be "ironically" chill, it is literally supposed to be a safe space. maybe that wasn't the case in 2008 or whatever but the world and the forums are extremely different now, and that's what we're trying to do here i'm sympathetic to folks wanting to blow off steam with this very frustrating and terrifying situation but frankly it felt in poor taste
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Jun 29, 2022 16:15
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