r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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bell jar: Feb 25, 2009

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for reading my wife�s journal?

I think the only possible solution here is to :sever:

and continue with the therapy

# ? Jul 11, 2022 01:21

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 20:16

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

AITA for dressing like a co-worker for Halloween?

code:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pfm1ql/aita_for_dressing_like_a_coworker_for_halloween/

quote:

So I had been working at a company for about 5 years. I made friends with one guy specifically, let's call him Greg. Greg and I hung out quite a bit outside work, he was on the company softball team with me, we had bbq's together, all that fun stuff.

Greg had a specific look. He had a shaved head, huge beard and mustache, and always wore those checkered Vans shoes to work.

About 4 years ago, our company had a Halloween costume contest. The day before the party, I decide to go as Greg. So I went to a magic shop and got a legitimate fake beard and mustache, like the real hair ones. I shaved my head. I bought the same exact Vans shoes he always wears.

So I show up to work the next day dressed as Greg. Full beard, mustache, shaved head, shoes, everything. I'm not kidding people were mistaking me for him all morning. Greg gets to work, sees me dressed as him, and people start talking to him about my costume. He awkwardly poses for a picture with me then proceeds to immediately leave work and doesn't come back for the rest of the day. I won the costume contest.

He didn't speak to me for six months after that. When we did start to talk it wasn't the same as before, I could tell he had some resentment towards me. I left the company a couple years later and we haven't spoken since I left. I've reached out but Greg hasn't responded.

Admittedly I'm an extrovert and he's an introvert. In his eyes, I was probably making fun of him and he didn't like the negative attention from our coworkers. In my eyes, I was simply trying to look like him and go unconventional with a costume.

AITA?

EDIT:

Thank you for the responses. I reached out to Greg today and apologized. Not that "I'm sorry if you were offended" bullshit, but a real "I was an rear end in a top hat" apology. So far he hasn't responded but I'm hopeful, and at least he saw my message. I appreciate everyone's insight and comments.

At least op apologized. Idk why you'd do that....

AITA dressing my son with the girls clothes his dad's family brought him

code:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o0l7tg/aita_dressing_my_son_with_the_girls_clothes_his/

quote:

English is not my first language and I am in mobile, so please be patient with me

November last year I(30f) gave birth to our first baby. It's the first in my family and the 6th in my husband family(32m). It's important to say that all the six kids are boys and MIL is in some sick baby girl rabies.

Ever since we made the announcement MIL convinced herself that I was pregnant with a girl. I told her that once we knew the gender she would be the first one to know. We told her it was a boy, she still was convinced it was a girl. She told they whole side of the family it was a girl. I corrected but she told them I was just annoyed bc I wanted a boy first (I wanted a healthy baby, I didn't have a drat about the sex). She also told them we are naming the girl after her mom, which we will never do bc hubby hates his Grandma.

When the baby shower gifts started to come I noticed a lot of things that wasn't in the register. Embroidered things with grandma's name. And it didn't matter we told them the gender and the name, and make clear we are not lying about the gender. Everyone believed her

Well, the baby was born. And imagine the surprise... It was a boy, just LIKE WE HAVE BEEN TELLING EVERYONE. The problem (for them) was that now the baby have plenty of "girly" clothes, pink onesies etc, and we are dressing our baby with them. Specially for his family video calls and for pictures for them.

After Saturday call, MIL called us to scream to us bc we are making the elders uncomfortable for not sticking to a masculine color scheme for the baby clothes. And we have to being this childish, she just through my belly shape was more like girl them for a boy.

We told her we will not change the baby's clothes, and to just await until the dresses fit. He will look adorable. Well I commented the thing w one of my friends and she told me I was wrong and should just listen to her. So AITA?

Edit

I did tried to return the clothes, but I needed the receipts and they didn't have me, some passed the period of return (generally 1 month in my country).

I was not trying to be petty or mean, but is clothes, mostly was super nice and I was not wasting.

Guys I already donated the dresses, and some clothes with "baby girl" and things like that. I can be pretty chill but I know this is a spoon full for bullying in the future. I have been dressing him like that not for pictures but in the calls

Luckily my side of the family is pretty chill and gave us plenty of neutral and "boyish" clothes.

And you guys are right, he doesn't give a drat, he paint any color with puke lol 😂😂😂

# ? Jul 11, 2022 01:27

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Brawnfire posted:

Sometimes people need to drop by for my very important advice and philosophical truisms, which I dispense to any and all comers after I've finished my tantric masturbation sessions in the private chambers.

Naturally the sounds of those sessions are piped into the receiving room, because that's a major part of the elucidation of my visitors.

Wait, you WEREN'T showcasing the latest microsong from your grindcore album?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 01:29

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

Brawnfire posted:

I've always wanted one of those reception rooms that people can come into my house but not into my private rooms.

The trick is to never enter this room yourself or interact with anyone that�s been in it.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 01:49

moonmazed: Dec 27, 2021; by VideoGames

welcome to my Reception Oubliette

# ? Jul 11, 2022 01:55

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

AITA for dressing "provocatively" during birthday dinner with my step father?

code:

https://rareddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/chuais/aita_for_dressing_provocatively_during_birthday/

quote:

Okay, here it goes.

It was my step father's birthday and quite the rare occasion that he was home. He's usually traveling due to the work and I get to see him every so often. Since everyone else from our close family (my mother and step brothers) were out of a town, I decided to book a dinner for two at his favorite restaurant as a gift. I made plans with him and he was quite happy that we'll finally have our first drink together since I turned 21 this year.

Here comes the problem-- and it's not even my step father that's causing it. I decided to wear a black, short latex dress and high heels. Although slightly provocative, it wasn't anything out of this world. My step dad even complimented me on my looks but; everyone else, as in closer family and friends, chewed me up. I posted a picture of me and my step dad together for his birthday and everyone was so outraged at how I was dressed.

My mother told me that I'm disgraceful and that she's disappointed, her side of the family literally started name calling me, my step father's side pretend I don't exist. My step brothers are the only ones that see no issue with what I did, apart from my step dad.

When I spoke to him, he told me not to worry about it and that he'd love to make our dinners regular and that I shouldn't worry about what everyone else is saying.

Am I really the rear end in a top hat for wearing a latex dress at dinner with my step dad? I've literally no idea of how a simple dinner could end up being so wrong.

The Comments

quote:

dragonmjr 433 4m

nah, latex is a pretty suggestive thing to wear so I see where they are coming from. But overall, it's your stepdad, a father figure, who is of course going to tell you, you look nice, you just have to explain to them that you wore something nice entirely independantly of who you were going with.

EDIT to YTA : because further down you mentioned buying it from an adult store and I saw the picture. And Holy Cow, It literally says good girl gone bad in the link. I had in my head a normal dress made of Latex, and it was the material and tightness your family were upset about. But you entirely downplayed the sexiness of the dress and that it is not just latex fashion, it is a kink dress. Kink is inappropriate to display in a public setting let alone with your stepdad.

quote:

mcthrowaway_anon 195 8h28m

YTA. Ooh I had to do some digging through comments to find the actual dress. I have to put it squarely in the category of "inappropriate for family dinner." I think OP is TA also for downplaying how extreme her dress was and made everyone else's reaction seem totally overblown. Once I saw it I realized she's just an unreliable narrator. Like it's cute for clubbing. That's about it.

(NSFW: https://www.ohpolly.com/dresses/vinyl-dresses/vinyl-mini-dress-black-green)

The link 404s, but there's other latex dresses and yeah they're fairly kinky.

Though from the post history it just seems lie one handed fiction? At least it comes across as someone looking for being humiliated sexually. Eh.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 02:02

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

value-brand cereal posted:

AITA for dressing like a co-worker for Halloween?

At least op apologized. Idk why you'd do that....

Some folks did this at a place I used to work and everyone had a good time. I assume the main difference was in being able to recognize that they actually had friend relationships that would let it obviously go over well, in a way that someone likely to make it into this area of reddit would not.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 02:03

Barudak: May 7, 2007

moonmazed posted:

welcome to my Reception Oubliette

My favorite level in Quake

# ? Jul 11, 2022 02:03

Human Tornada: Mar 4, 2005; I been wantin to see a honkey dance.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Some folks did this at a place I used to work and everyone had a good time. I assume the main difference was in being able to recognize that they actually had friend relationships that would let it obviously go over well, in a way that someone likely to make it into this area of reddit would not.

It mostly depends on the person who's being imitated. Some people are going to feel like they're being made fun of and get their feelings hurt no matter what.

I've known a couple people who wanted to do this at work and I always tried to talk them out of it.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 02:17

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

The safest way of doing this is having two people agree to dress up as each other.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 02:20

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I had a friend show up at a party as me once. Had my facial hair and skin markings and all. It was hilarious but still slightly off-putting despite that, I think it can catch someone off-guard to be treated as a character.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 02:22

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

I, cis female, dressed up as a cis male coworker some years ago; since then I've gained some weight so I clearly couldn't look like him unless he's done the same. But I styled my hair like he did his, wore an undershirt the same way he did, even got a similar bracelet he always wore. But the thing is, I told my boss I'd be dressing as JD for Halloween, and JD himself knew and seemed fine with it, but he was not pleased when he saw people mistook me for him.

I mean poo poo, I am pretty masculine looking but maybe he took it the other way around.

AITA for telling my sister than men are stronger than women on average?

quote:

Both me[17M] and my sister[18F] were just hanging out the other day since we had nothing to do and we finished our school work and our friends were busy with this dance convention at our school, so we decided to play some one on one basketball to pass the time. My sister is the second leading scorer of the varsity girls team at our school, and while on occasion I play basketball with my friends, I�m not a professional by any means. My sister is also taller than me(she�s 5�9 and I�m 5�7, but maybe I�ll still grow later).

We played to 21, and I ended up winning 22-6(we played with 2s and threes). All I really did was drive and �bully� my way to the basket since my sister couldn�t really stop it because of the strength disparity.

After the game, we were walking back home together from the basketball court and my sister said to me �goddamn how the gently caress did you get so much stronger than me?�. I responded with �Not sure, but I do know that men tend to be stronger than women�. Apparently I hit a nerve, and my sister got pretty defensive and called me sexist. I was confused and my sister started to get kind of passive aggressive with me for the rest of the walk back home.

AITA?

Dude's comment makes me suspect he will be freaking out if he doesn't and she remains a few inches taller than him.

Also in friendly games, is poo poo like "bullying" to the basket really something non assholes do?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 02:42

Barudak: May 7, 2007

He deffo took it the other way round.

Also bullying to the basket is fine if your friendly matches are agreed upon competitive games at that level, but the people I see most pushing for that are assholes who don't tell anyone else.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 02:59

abigserve: Sep 13, 2009; this is a better avatar than what I had before

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my sister than men are stronger than women on average?

Dude's comment makes me suspect he will be freaking out if he doesn't and she remains a few inches taller than him.

Also in friendly games, is poo poo like "bullying" to the basket really something non assholes do?

Can't speak to basketball but in social sports it's definitely normal to push the limits as long as you aren't intentionally trying to hurt anybody. I've been tripped, pushed, held, aggressive slide tackled etc and it's all good.

BUT - this assumes everyone is the same sex. It's absolutely not normal or socially acceptable among non-siblings for a man to play super aggressively against a woman in social sports.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:02

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA For refusing to contribute to my nephew�s college fund when I heavily contributed to my niece�s?

quote:

(38M) I am single and childless by choice but am close with my family. Especially my niece and nephew, (18F) Stephanie and (18M) Alexander.

I own a small business near a major university that caters to students. It�s mostly a bookstore that specializes in discount textbooks, but we also sell coffee and baked goods and offer study areas.

Since it�s hard to find jobs that fit high schoolers� schedules, I�ve allowed Stephanie and Alexander to work at the store since they were 15.

I had an offer with both Stephanie and Alexander that either I would give them their payment weekly or put it in a bonus college fund for them. I recommended the college fund, as it would be more useful in the long run, but it was still their choice. They could change this payment route anytime. Stephanie chose the college fund route while Alexander wanted weekly pay.

Now they�re 18 and going to college in the fall. Stephanie has a hefty amount saved up in her college fund. She claims it will be enough to cover three years at her chosen university. She has also received several scholarships, so she can easily cover the rest with student loans.

Alexander is much less responsible with money than his sister: He has virtually no savings because he will almost immediately blow his paycheck on things he doesn�t need. The longest he saved was for three weeks, before he decided to spend it on a video game console. Alexander was accepted into his dream college but says he is unsure how he�s going to afford it.

My SIL and brother were previously middle class but lost a lot of money during the pandemic. They recently asked me if I was willing to help cover at least the first few years of Alexander�s undergraduate program and how I could pay them in segments if need be. I could technically afford to, but I would need to take some from Stephanie�s college fund. I told them I thought it would be unfair to Stephanie to bail her brother out with the money she worked to save all those years. I have some of my own savings, but it's an emergency fund in case something happens with the store. My SIL and brother were disappointed but told me they understood.

The problem is with our parents. They told me that it was selfish to �leave my nephew unable to attend his dream school� and should split the college funds. I told them that Alexander already got his money-He just spent it already. They told me I should then give away my emergency savings because most teenagers aren't that great with money, and if Alexander had to leave his dream school while Stephanie could afford hers, it could �cause the family to resent Stephanie� and I should �prevent that rift before their relationships get hurt.� But the twins have always had a good relationship with each other. And I think it�s hideously unfair that Alexander gets bailed out while his sister had to work hard. AITA?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:08

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Mx. posted:

AITA For refusing to contribute to my nephew’s college fund when I heavily contributed to my niece’s?

quote:

They told me I should then give away my emergency savings

People always say that 'no' is a complete sentence, but I would like it to be more widely acknowledged that 'lol no' is a more powerful one

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:14

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

I've thought about going as my boss's boss for Halloween this year but like 80% of it is her loud bubbly attitude and I don't have the energy to commit to the bit for the whole day

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:17

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

gee i wonder how much the parents are chipping in

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:17

Remulak: Jun 8, 2001; I can't count to four.; Yams Fan

Gimme gimme gimme!

I just don�t understand these. Then again I�m lucky enough that my own financial house of cards has yet to crumble. Expecting what should be a still-achievable �normal middle-class life� for yourself and your kids just dissolve must be rough.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:19

big dyke energy: Jul 29, 2006; Football? Yaaaay

Mx. posted:

AITA For refusing to contribute to my nephew�s college fund when I heavily contributed to my niece�s?

quote:

if Alexander had to leave his dream school while Stephanie could afford hers, it could �cause the family to resent Stephanie� and I should �prevent that rift before their relationships get hurt

Sounds a lot like the grandparents are going to be the ones resenting Stephanie. Wonder which is their favorite grandchild?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:19

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

I would place good money that it's one of two things. Either a "This child will carry on the family name" thing, or "Girls only go to college to find a husband and then drop out" thing. Or maybe even both at once.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:23

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

"If alexander doesn't get to go to his dream school but his sister does it will cause a rift in the family. Forcing his sister to pay for him won't cause a rift because...."

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:25

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

AITA/Cross Country Moving Fees

quote:

AITA? My friend asked me a couple months ago to help them move across the country. I agreed knowing it's be the last time I see them for a considerable amount of time. They never said I would have to pay for anything but they also never said they would pay for anything.

Comes the week of moving and I help them move across the country with their items. It's only one car but I assist with any problems and driving and all that. There's a couple nights of hotels and a lot of stops for gas.

I paid $300 for a one-way flight back to my city and I used up three days of PTO from work to help them.

After the move, I received a cash app invoice asking for a couple hundred dollars in fees for hotels and gas.

They haven't addressed it yet except through that invoice.

I was under the impression that people generally pay for things they need help with and I was doing them a courtesy by helping, on top of my own fees.

So AITA for not wanting to pay them back for hotels and gas they would have spent regardless? And how would I tell them?

Was not expecting to find such an audacious new grift on a lazy Sunday evening

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:25

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Mx. posted:

AITA For refusing to contribute to my nephew�s college fund when I heavily contributed to my niece�s?

The hand, so delicious, nomnomnom

WIBTA for continuing to cook bacon if my pregnant wife doesn�t like the smell?

quote:

Every morning I make myself a breakfast of bacon and fried eggs. It�s been my routine for years and I don�t want to change it.

According to my wife, the smell of bacon makes her feel sick. I�ve offered many solutions, like she can wait outside for the 20 minutes, not come downstairs, I can open a window, etc. but she wants me to just stop making bacon altogether.

I don�t think that�s fair. I think I should be able to make bacon if I want to.

WIBTA if I insist on continuing to make bacon?

I hope it's not too late for her to get rid of at least one baby.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:29

Human Tornada: Mar 4, 2005; I been wantin to see a honkey dance.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my sister than men are stronger than women on average?

Dude's comment makes me suspect he will be freaking out if he doesn't and she remains a few inches taller than him.

Also in friendly games, is poo poo like "bullying" to the basket really something non assholes do?

It sounds like the sister was fine with that style of play, she's just mostly confused and smarting from her younger, shorter, non-varsity athlete brother cleaning her clock like that.

It can be a real shock for a lot of women to learn how much stronger the average post-pubescent man is.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:31

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I don't even understand why you would give those kids a choice. That is a resentment generator system, capable of outputting family drama for decades.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:31

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for selling everything I had bought for my ex-wife?

quote:

I (47M) divorced my ex-wife (32F) 2 weeks ago, and I am currently in the process of selling everything I had bought for her in the past, such as jewelry, a poodle, and her car.

Last week, I sold her poodle to a neighbor knowing I couldn't take care of it and my ex doesn't have a house at this time. My ex-wife angrily emailed me and told me to get the poodle back. I declined and told her I had bought the Poodle under my name and I can sell it anytime I want. After blocking her on Gmail, she showed up at my doorsteps and told me she was in the process of looking for a house in Boston. I told her again the neighbors have the dog now, but this time I added she could work it out with the neighbors to get her dog back.

My ex-wife took off in her friends car and I though nothing of it until my facebook messages were filled with her friends telling me how cruel I was to my ex-wife, they weren't too mean, but they were just saying that I should've waited until selling the dog.

Am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:56

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for selling everything I had bought for my ex-wife?

Sorry took a look at that age gap and lost focus on everything else, what was the question?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 03:57

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Mx. posted:

AITA For refusing to contribute to my nephew’s college fund when I heavily contributed to my niece’s?

Well for starters I'd recommend you stop saying "I heavily contributed to my niece's college fund but not my nephew's" when you mean "I paid my nephew and niece equally for their work and she saved her money."

# ? Jul 11, 2022 04:07

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

value-brand cereal posted:

AITA dressing my son with the girls clothes his dad's family brought him

MIL is in some sick baby girl rabies

Girl baby rabies is a wonderful term.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 04:54

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Boomer entitlement is amazing enough when it comes to expectations of people, but flat out ignoring reality is something else. I suppose it's a narcissist thing again.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 05:02

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

My boyfriend got married for money should I leave him?

quote:

My boyfriend (29) recently confess to me that he got married to some lady 3 months ago so she could get her green card. he said she's a older lady in her late 30's and she has a boyfriend he got married to her a month before we moved in together. he claims he has to spend the night at her house 3 times a week because someone comes to her house to make sure there really married and he goes to her kids events to take pictures. I feel betrayed and I'm disgusted with him we talked about having kids and getting married in the future. He also brung up proposing to me in December and i went through his phone often and I didn't find anything but he was still living a double life he told me he just want to be friends for 2 months (I guess that's when they'll get a divorce) and then get back into a relationship

# ? Jul 11, 2022 05:08

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Evil Willow posted:

My boyfriend got married for money should I leave him?

I say go with it, just keep us posted with your ongoing journey through relationships/aita/legaladvice

# ? Jul 11, 2022 05:24

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Baron von Eevl posted:

Well for starters I'd recommend you stop saying "I heavily contributed to my niece's college fund but not my nephew's" when you mean "I paid my nephew and niece equally for their work and she saved her money."

yeah lol, if he takes from niece's college fund it's wage theft pure and simple.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 05:35

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

lol, reminds me of a guy I know who had 3 kids. He was a developer and gave his kids part time jobs to help at construction sites, real basic stuff like cleaning up after everyone's gone home. All earned the exact same wage. The oldest kid really really wanted a car so worked with this goal in mind for the year and ended up saving up and buying it. The other 2 kids didn't put in as many hours and spent all their money nearly as soon as they got it. The dad then got in poo poo from his ex wife for "favouring" the oldest kid by paying for his car but refusing to buy a car for the other 2.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 05:46

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Evil Willow posted:

My boyfriend got married for money should I leave him?

Has this person never once wondered why people refer to her as blind despite her vision test scores?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 05:55

nashona: May 8, 2014; Though she be but little, she is fierce

sullat posted:

yeah lol, if he takes from niece's college fund it's wage theft pure and simple.

I don't understand how he could not issue her a paycheck. besides being illegal, no taxes or social security taken out so her amount is also going to be more than her brother's.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 05:57

Gnoman: Feb 12, 2014; Come, all you fair and tender maids
Who flourish in your pri-ime
Beware, take care, keep your garden fair
Let Gnoman steal your thy-y-me
Le-et Gnoman steal your thyme

As described, it is probably just direct deposit of the paycheck into a college fund instead of a normal bank account. Nothing in the story suggests that the proper deductions weren't being made.

Depending on the when and where, it is also possible that there's special education provisions for under-18s.

# ? Jul 11, 2022 06:24

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for asking for a new engagement ring?

quote:

My (25f) boyfriend/fiance (27m) proposed to me the other day. We have talked about getting married before this happened, and I have told him exactly what kind of ring I wanted, down to the shape and band. When he proposed to me, the ring wasn't anything close to what we have previously talked about. I accepted the proposal, of course, but last night he brought up that his mother actually picked out the ring. He asked me what I thought about it, so I told him honestly what I thought and asked if we could get a different one. He got upset and told me I was being ungrateful and that I should be happy that he even got me a ring. He said that his mom was the one to pick it out so I should just wear it. Today, his mom called me basically telling me that I have no taste in jewelry and that I should just go with what she says.

I get that he spent a lot of money on this ring, but we have talked about what I wanted before, and im going to be the one wearing this. Am I being ungrateful for asking for a new ring? AITA?

girl you're the other woman

# ? Jul 11, 2022 07:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 3, 2024 20:16

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for suggesting my recently engaged friend should "tone down the theatrics"?

quote:

My friend has recently got engaged to his boyfriend. I'm honestly and truly happy for him, they seem to have a lovely relationship. However, he's being very over-the-top about it which is what I commented on.

My friend has had a hard life with a lot of trauma so he has some issues with his mental health. He has been diagnosed with BPD amongst other things. His mental health is fairly stable now but he still has quite extreme reactions to both negative and positive emotions.

He's always been quite lovey-dovey about this bf which I do understand because most of his previous relationships have been abusive. This seems to have increased since they got engaged. He's very affectionate with his bf, whenever he looks at him he gazes at him adoringly and if his bf holds his hand or puts his arm around him he starts beaming like he's won the lottery. If his bf arrives later than him for an event he reacts as if he's just come back from war rather than being slightly late to the pub. It's not inappropriate as such, it's just a bit extreme and it makes me worried for him and a little uncomfortable.

Another issue is that my friend has "been around" and there are quite a few people in our friendship group that he's slept with at some point, both men and women. Not everyone is comfortable seeing how loved up he is. I think the way he's acting is genuine and sincere but I could see why someone might assume he was purposefully rubbing it in people's faces.

We had a bbq yesterday and he was acting in his typical way. When his bf was off talking to someone else, I quietly suggested he tone down the theatrics a bit. He didn't argue but I could see I hurt his feelings and he was quiet for the rest of the night. He can be quite sensitive. I noticed his bf getting concerned and asking what was wrong and I did feel quite bad.

Presumably he later told his bf what I said because bf contacted me today and (fairly politely) told me off. He said he likes my friend as he is and has been trying to encourage him to be more open about how he's feeling, not less. Obviously I didn't realise that and I think most people would be uncomfortable with how intense my friend can be, I was concerned that it could end up pushing his bf away. Apparently that isn't the case but my intentions were good. I've since apologised to my friend and he says it's okay.

I haven't discussed this with anyone else, but when I've mentioned my concerns to other friends they've had mixed responses - some think I should just be happy for him (I am!), others agree that the way he's acting is a bit too dramatic.

AITA for what I said?

# ? Jul 11, 2022 07:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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