r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

I thought the issue was the mother being unsympathetic.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:16

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# ? May 30, 2024 10:17

Mellow Seas: Oct 9, 2012; Can't post for 10 years!

sephiRoth IRA posted:

AITA for making my son hug his grandmother goodnight?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq5WPkLCAiY

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:21

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

I think my favorite kind of story to hate on is the "change something about yourself so I feel less insecure" style, like turbo-dweeb up there with the ripped wife

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:27

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

The post is pretty meh, but I love this person's approach to asking AITA for help

AITA for not wanting to invite certain relatives to my wedding

quote:

Hey jerks,

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:30

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

WoodrowSkillson posted:

YOU took me to bad hairstylist on purpose this is your fault I HATE YOU MOM

My Mom did something like that when I was 8, had waist-length hair and decided I wanted a crop hair cut like Mary Lou Retton (I'm old, okay?). Mom tried to talk me out of it, then said that if I really wanted it, she would take me to get my hair cut. She was right, it was awful and everyone thought I was a boy, but I didn't blame my Mom, who was sympathetic and bought me some ribbons. Having an empathetic parent helps.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:34

Groundskeeper Silly: Sep 1, 2005; My philosophy...
The first rule is:
You look good.

WoodrowSkillson posted:

YOU took me to bad hairstylist on purpose this is your fault I HATE YOU MOM

Yeah, sometimes 10-year-olds are unreasonable. Nobody's saying there was something the mom could've done to make everyone happy.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:36

Tea Bone: Feb 18, 2011; I'm going for gasps.

I think it's up to the kid. She wanted bangs, not like she wanted an 80s punk mo-hawke or anything. Just explain to her that you think it's a bad idea and if she doesn't like it she has to live with it until it grows out.

Maybe the kid would have blamed you, maybe they wouldn't, but they blame you now anyway with an even worse haircut.

I expect though kids being kids, there's a good chance she would have been happy with the bangs even if they did look ridiculous.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:39

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Groundskeeper Silly posted:

Yeah, sometimes 10-year-olds are unreasonable. Nobody's saying there was something the mom could've done to make everyone happy.

Yeah, exactly. It's so crazy to me to have a kid this age and then be like 'it will be a minor inconvenience that they're upset about, so no'. the kid might be upset and bratty after a bad haircut, but they're going to be either way - you're an adult raising a kid, be brave enough to handle the 'inconvenience' of their emotions from time to time.

instead of 'no you can't because you'll gently caress up your hair, THERE SEE, this is what you deserve!' it could have been 'ok well let's see how this looks, oh no it looks terrible I'm so sorry sweetie' and then comforting her, fixing as best as they could, and moving on.

it's always weird to see adults grind into a child, with glee, that their childhood decisions were not great. You can support your kid and help them learn how to make good decisions without crushing them every time they make one that isn't the brightest.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:40

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for asking my ripped wife to stop working out?

I like that working out with his wife and getting some muscle tone isn't an option he is considering.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:42

Solkanar512: Dec 28, 2006; by the sex ghost

AITA for giving our youngest child a �better� life than the older kids?

quote:

My husband and I have a combined total of 3 kids, 2 from his previous marriage (John 18 and Mia 19) and 1 together (Ryan 8). My husband had a rough life growing up and when I met him 10 years ago he was newly divorced (ex abandoned him and the kids), his credit was in the 400�s, and he was working hard but at a minimum wage job due to no GED or diploma. I wasn�t making great money, but was a few dollar above minimum wage and was getting my degree at the time.

We struggled a lot financially in our early years. I got pregnant unexpectedly (was told I was infertile), and there were days we were scrounging our cars for change to feed the kids. The first 3 years all presents came from thrift stores or dollar tree, but we worked our butts off and slowly started climbing up.

I eventually got my bachelors and encouraged my husband to go to trade school. We fixed his credit, bought a house, and now we both make close to 6 figures each and are in a great place. The past couple years we�ve been trying to make up for times when things were rough. We�ve gone on multiple family vacations - some internationally, bought decent cars for the older kids, and are paying for some of Mia�s college tuition and John is going to trade school and we�ll pay the equivalent of what we�re giving Mia.

We also now have the ability to send Ryan to a private school, which is great because he has some disabilities and he�ll have more 1 on 1 support than our public school could provide. I�ve also sent him to a science camp this summer and he has been loving it. But this has apparently upset John. When Ryan came home the other day talking about an experiment they did, John started yelling that he didn�t want to hear about all the great stuff Ryan gets to do as a kid while he spent every Christmas with another kids used crap and had to deal with one of the worst public schools in our state and could only afford Boy Scouts as an extracurricular. My husband told him that he understands how he feels, but there�s nothing we could have done about how little we had back then but we�re trying to help them as adults now that we can. John said that in order to �even the score� we should pull Ryan from his fancy school and camp and make him live the same life that he and Mia did.

We talked to Mia later that night and asked if she felt the same and she said she didn�t and that she�s happy that Ryan doesn�t have to struggle as much as they did financially especially since he has his own different struggles that her and John never had to experience. She doesn�t know where this outburst from John came from. We asked John if he�d like to attend therapy, either as a family or alone, and he refused. He said the only way to make this right with him is to make sure all our kids have the same experience growing up. My husband is now rethinking things with Ryan but I refuse to budge. AITA?

Edit to add: there are a few people concerned with my husband empathizing with John. I just want to explain his side - When I mentioned my husband had a rough childhood I mean it�s like tv drama level rough. Dad walked out when he was a baby, mom was an addict, In and out of foster care and group homes and even juvie since the time he was 6.

When he was around John�s age his mom reached out to him. She had gotten clean and had a baby when my husband was barely a teenager and had been 6 years clean, married, stable career and home - the works. He had no interest in re-establishing a relationship, but I think he understands how John feels because he got to see a younger sibling get everything he had wanted growing up (although on a WAY worse level). I think I�m going to suggest that my husband go to a couple therapy appointments to work this out internally. I know he won�t ultimately pull Ryan out of school or camp, he�s just struggling with having been in John�s shoes before and putting some personal bias into the situation.

This one is annoying me a bit because everyone is focusing on John's outburst as though it's an actionable and likely option rather than just venting and feeling legitimately frustrated at not having the same opportunities as Ryan. Obviously you don't pull Ryan out of the nice school and keep sending him to science camp, but at least acknowledge the sort of opportunities that only open up to the sort of kids given these options in the first place.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:48

captainOrbital: Jan 23, 2003; Wrathchild!
💢🧒

limp_cheese posted:

I like that working out with his wife and getting some muscle tone isn't an option he is considering.

I don't understand the mentality of hearing "haha your wife is yoked" or "haha your wife brings you lunch" and thinking that something good about your wife makes you, as a man, look bad as opposed to "yeah my wife owns, you jealous schmucks" but I guess that's why I'm married to a bodybuilding lunchbringer

Tea Bone posted:

80s punk mo-hawke

HOW OLD ARE YOU

Solkanar512 posted:

AITA for giving our youngest child a �better� life than the older kids?

ah yes the two genders "i'm glad you don't have to suffer like i suffered" and "i suffered therefore YOU MUST SUFFER"

captainOrbital fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Jul 28, 2022

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:48

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

StrangersInTheNight posted:

what

no it isn't, the mom didn't take the kid, she told her it would be bad instead of letting her experience it, and so the kid did the inevitable, because it's about letting kids learn what they like and don't, and they can literally only do that if they're allowed to try it out. if you tell them no, they'll just figure out a way to do it themselves because it's about proving it to themselves.

The kid might 'blame the mom' if she took her to the hairstylist and hated the bangs, but that's kinda projecting to convince yourself it's best to just not even listen to kids about what they want for themselves, it'll just be too much trouble

this is literally how kids grow, is by trying poo poo out and realizing if they like it or not. if she'd just been allowed to cut it at the salon, she was going to remember that she tried it out and hated it, and it's more fixable in that capacity.

lol gently caress, my bad, thought i edited out a part of your post but then had to run away from the computer.

anyway, nah the mom shouldn't've paid for a professional to do it. she already spoke with her cousin, the professional hairstylist, who both told her and showed her the faceapp thing or whatever, that it was a bad idea. if the mom didn't explain that to the kid and/or show the faceapp thing, yeah, she could've done better there. but then the kid saw some tiktok thing of kids cutting their own hair and did it anyway. so your point is moot because of dumb tiktok, sorry :shrug:

and the kid is learning and growing from this, so...

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:52

Solkanar512: Dec 28, 2006; by the sex ghost

captainOrbital posted:

I don't understand the mentality of hearing "haha your wife is yoked" or "haha your wife brings you lunch" and thinking that something good about your wife makes you, as a man, look bad as opposed to "yeah my wife owns, you jealous schmucks" but I guess that's why I'm married to a bodybuilding lunchbringer

"It's awesome asking her to move heavy poo poo for me", yeah give me a loving break and get some thicker skin or better friends. gently caress, go lift weights with her. It's way more fun and interesting than going for a run or some poo poo, christ.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:52

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Johnny Truant posted:

lol gently caress, my bad, thought i edited out a part of your post but then had to run away from the computer.

anyway, nah the mom shouldn't've paid for a professional to do it. she already spoke with her cousin, the professional hairstylist, who both told her and showed her the faceapp thing or whatever, that it was a bad idea. if the mom didn't explain that to the kid and/or show the faceapp thing, yeah, she could've done better there. but then the kid saw some tiktok thing of kids cutting their own hair and did it anyway. so your point is moot because of dumb tiktok, sorry

and the kid is learning and growing from this, so...

Now she knows that it looks bad when she does it herself. What if she liked it if it was done professionally? She learned something, but it wasn't the right thing. And now her mom is rubbing it in on top of it.

I say this as someone who was dogpiled on to not cut my long hair as a kid. I had to fight hair stylists to cut it short. I love how it looks short, gently caress them.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:56

captainOrbital: Jan 23, 2003; Wrathchild!
💢🧒

Solkanar512 posted:

"It's awesome asking her to move heavy poo poo for me", yeah give me a loving break and get some thicker skin or better friends. gently caress, go lift weights with her. It's way more fun and interesting than going for a run or some poo poo, christ.

a rising wife lifts all spouses

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:57

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Midnight Voyager posted:

She learned something, but it wasn't the right thing.

Midnight Voyager posted:

Now she knows that it looks bad when she does it herself.

and yeah i'm not agreeing with the mom rubbing it in, but this kid has hopefully learned multiple lessons from this incident, lol

# ? Jul 28, 2022 16:59

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Johnny Truant posted:

and yeah i'm not agreeing with the mom rubbing it in, but this kid has hopefully learned multiple lessons from this incident, lol

...Or she could have gotten a professional to do it and possibly liked it. There's really no reason to NOT get a professional to do it. It doesn't hurt anybody. It's extremely low stakes. If the kid didn't like it, hair grows out and it'd surely look better than if she did it herself. And she learns that a professional hairstylist probably knows what she's doing. If the kid likes it, she likes it. It's a better situation for everyone involved. Is there some reason you're actually opposing getting a professional to do it?

# ? Jul 28, 2022 17:02

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

captainOrbital posted:

I don't understand the mentality of hearing "haha your wife is yoked" or "haha your wife brings you lunch" and thinking that something good about your wife makes you, as a man, look bad as opposed to "yeah my wife owns, you jealous schmucks" but I guess that's why I'm married to a bodybuilding lunchbringer

I also enjoyed the mention of people constantly staring at them in the street, which I assume is either largely an exaggeration or he's actually some kind of unhealthily skinny triglodyte irl.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 17:07

Quantum Cat: May 6, 2007; Can't post for 2 hours!

greazeball posted:

Imagine the decorating choices made by someone who spent the last 40 years working in the pentagon

DC, MD, VA metro area

# ? Jul 28, 2022 17:12

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Midnight Voyager posted:

...Or she could have gotten a professional to do it and possibly liked it. There's really no reason to NOT get a professional to do it. It doesn't hurt anybody. It's extremely low stakes. If the kid didn't like it, hair grows out and it'd surely look better than if she did it herself. And she learns that a professional hairstylist probably knows what she's doing. If the kid likes it, she likes it. It's a better situation for everyone involved. Is there some reason you're actually opposing getting a professional to do it?

cousin professional hairstylist: this will look bad in my professional opinion, and here's a mockup of it.
mom: okay *tells kid*
kid: *cuts hair due to tiktok video*

a lesson here is hey, maybe listen to a professional when they say it will look bad? i'm assuming the mom both explained the cousin said it would look bad, and showed the mockup, which to be fair, is probably a big assumption, cause... reddit. it's also still extremely low stakes despit not going to a professional first, so... :shrug:

# ? Jul 28, 2022 17:12

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Captain Hygiene posted:

I also enjoyed the mention of people constantly staring at them in the street, which I assume is either largely an exaggeration or he's actually some kind of unhealthily skinny triglodyte irl.

Just replace it with "People check out the hot woman in a midriff with abs."

# ? Jul 28, 2022 17:15

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

"It looked bad when I did it with kitchen scissors" is actually not the same as "I had a professional cut it and it looked bad". The kid cut her bangs an inch long, which a professional wouldn't have done.

AITA for going to bed for a few hours while my wife has the flu?

quote:

My wife is currently sick with the flu, she�s pretty sick and is having fevers, muscle aches, her chest hurts from coughing, she�s also about 8 weeks pregnant. Our 2 year old is also quite sick with it. I took a week off work to help out at home while she recovers.

My wife has battled through to still do most of the things she does around the house with me picking up some of the slack here and there. She hasn�t been talking about her symptoms much and I have to prompt her to tell me if she�s feeling okay.

I�m a bit sleep deprived from getting up with the 2 year old at night so my wife can get some sleep while she battles through her symptoms. She isn�t sleeping well though.

Today I started to get a headache and I told her I was getting a headache and my nose felt a little congested. So I told her I was going to bed for a few hours.

She said okay but she seemed upset. I asked what was wrong and she said that it was typical. Whenever she is sick she has 24-48 hours to recover completely before I come down with symptoms and whatever she feels becomes irrelevant.

I told her she wasn�t being fair and she said that no, I wasn�t being fair. When I had the flu she did everything on her own so I could rest. She is struggling and me going off to bed for a few hours while she�s battling fevers, headaches, muscle pains and leaving her with a sick toddler and an 8 year old is really unfair and selfish.

I ended up going to bed anyway and when I got up she was asleep with our 2 year old on the couch. She then got up, made dinner and hasn�t spoken to me since.

I don�t think I�m being an rear end in a top hat here but she thinks I am, my mum has told me I am being an rear end in a top hat, pregnancy is hard and having the flu whilst pregnant would be even harder. I need to do more for my wife to ensure she can recover.

So am I an rear end in a top hat?

From comments, it turns out the 2-year-old is immunocompromised.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 17:56

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Captain Hygiene posted:

Don't care, buy a robot or something to figure out your problems

LOL

Barudak posted:

Pay someone full time to give a poo poo about your problems

LMAO

# ? Jul 28, 2022 18:01

Groundskeeper Silly: Sep 1, 2005; My philosophy...
The first rule is:
You look good.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for going to bed for a few hours while my wife has the flu?

This guy isn't even trying to come across as not an rear end in a top hat.

Groundskeeper Silly fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Jul 28, 2022

# ? Jul 28, 2022 18:07

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for telling my ex his lack of money is not my issue?

quote:

I (36F) have a daughter Sadie (12) with my ex-husband John (39). We got divorced 5 years ago and I have primary custody while he sees her two weekends a month. Last year, he got married to Amy who has sole custody of her kids (10&8F) from a previous marriage. Amanda is a SAHM (not for any health reasons or so on, she just doesn't want to work) while John works at a 9 to 5. He makes good money to support them, but not enough to live in luxury.

I have a much higher-paying job. Since it's just me and Sadie, I make sure she has the best possible life. She goes to a private school, set her up a college fund, and she has much better things than most kids (phone, clothes, etc). I still managed to raise her to be humble and not take things for granted, and she's one of the hardest working people I know, always making sure to get good grades and keep her room tidy.

Well, the last few times she came back after a weekend at John's, I noticed that the clothes she was bringing back in her duffel are a) not her size and b) much cheaper and poorer quality than what I usually buy for her. I asked her why that is and she told me that while she's at her dad's, Amanda takes away her nice clothes and gives them to her kids while Sadie gets the clothes they buy from Target. I asked her if she wanted them back but she said she didn't mind sharing since all her favourite clothes were kept here.

The problem came when I went to pick her up last weekend.I had a business meeting and couldn't drive her over, so Amanda offered to just pick Sadie up from school, which hadn't happened before. When I got there on Sunday, John and Amanda asked me to sit down with them and when Sadie came to hug me, Amanda sent her to her room quite harshly saying her punishment wasn't over yet. I was confused because Sadie very rarely misbehaves.

They sat me down in the kitchen and said that it was unfair for Sadie to be going to a private school while her kids go to a public one, so they'd decided that Sadie would be pulled out of private school and put in the same school as the girls. They also said I should keep up Sadie's punishment because when they told her she blew up at them, told them it wasn't fair, and yelled that Amanda and her kids weren't even her real family, that all they did was steal.

I told them in no uncertain terms to gently caress off. I would not be pulling my child out of a school she likes, away from her friends, because they can't afford it. I told them they could easily make as much money as me if Amanda started working in her field because she has the qualifications and the job market is very good. I told them their money problems are not my issue, and if Sadie's items get stolen again or they try to pull her out of school, I'll be taking this to court.

They've been blowing up my phone ever since, calling me a selfish AH, and after telling the story to a friend, he told me I was rubbing my success in their face, but I still don't feel like I did anything wrong. Still, AITA?

EDIT: I contacted my lawyer and we're starting the process of obtaining full custody. I'm taking Sadie to a therapist so I can get permission to keep her with me at least until the courts make their decision. Her next visit isn't for another couple of weeks, so assuming that everything goes according to plan, she shouldn't have to go back there unless she wants to.

And what about the friend?

quote:

Yeah, I don't see us talk much after this, surprisingly. The only reason I even listened is because we've known each other for so long, but with all these comments, I feel justified in my decision to cut him off.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 18:24

killerwhat: May 13, 2010

Bonster posted:

My Mom did something like that when I was 8, had waist-length hair and decided I wanted a crop hair cut like Mary Lou Retton (I'm old, okay?). Mom tried to talk me out of it, then said that if I really wanted it, she would take me to get my hair cut. She was right, it was awful and everyone thought I was a boy, but I didn't blame my Mom, who was sympathetic and bought me some ribbons. Having an empathetic parent helps.

I loved my waist-length hair when I was like 10, but my mum was bored of looking after it so she shamed me into getting a haircut by saying I looked like a witch

# ? Jul 28, 2022 18:38

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

killerwhat posted:

I loved my waist-length hair when I was like 10, but my mum was bored of looking after it so she shamed me into getting a haircut by saying I looked like a witch

When my mom got tired of fights about brushing my long hair, she said she was cutting it until I learned how to take care of it myself. When I did, I started growing it back, and it's been mostly long ever since.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 18:43

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Absurd Alhazred posted:

What a Kafkaesque situation.

Please, no meat touching sir.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 18:46

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

a dispute about customer skills is tearing apart my agrotourism business

quote:

My two business partners (and their spouses) and I operate a successful agrotourism business, including an inn where guests come to enjoy delicious food, luxury accommodations, and the chance to do light agricultural work while being outside in the sunshine and fresh air. I own 70% of the company and they split the remaining 30%. This project was our dream; we left successful city careers to make this happen. We employ about 20 other people, but I�m overall in charge. There�s my partner, Alice (chief agricultural officer), and her wife Amy (head of guest services), and my partner John (CFO) and his wife Jenn (executive chef). Business is booming and the heart of it is the inn. None of that would happen without Amy and Jenn. Therein lies the problem.

Jenn�s culinary skills are outstanding, but it�s Amy who�s transformed the experience into something guests rave about. Amy�s job is to shepherd 4-12 guests at a time through a multi-day agricultural experience. Spending long hours with each group, she mentors them in their ag work, ensures safety/quality control, and sees that they�re comfortable and having a good time. From a guest�s perspective, she�s phenomenal � with stellar reviews � but she has a habit others find annoying: repeating anecdotes, explanations, and jokes. Amy�s background is theatre and education. A consummate professional, she�d never repeat a story to a guest � she has layers of stories for repeat guests � but she does repeat in front of other employees. Jenn finds this grating, disrespectful and rude, as does John. They continually complained and insisted that I speak to her, so I did.

I explained that it�s hard on others to hear the same things repeatedly. Amy replied that she does it to remember exactly what she needs to say. She compared it to being a teacher or tour guide: information need to be communicated and she�s found effective ways of doing it. She added that verbal patterns (repeating things) are how she keeps things straight with so many groups coming and going. I get that � you do what works. I also came from sales where people constantly used the same stories to make the same points to different clients. Amy asked me directly if it was Jenn who complained; I didn�t even answer before she said she could tell by my facial expression.

Things got worse and tensions are rising. Amy did tried to switch it up but said she felt anxious and nervous, especially if Jenn was around. She�s reverted to her original schtick, which continues to please guests but bothers John and Jenn. Jenn feels disrespected and unseen because she thinks I took Amy�s side. Did I? My solution was to try to coach Amy into creating new dialogue (failed) and allow Jenn and John to withdraw from the client-facing aspects of their job descriptions they�d previously disliked. This has made a small improvement because they interact less with �public Amy,� but they still maintain that she over-focuses on the clients to the detriment of her coworkers. This is all complicated by the fact that we have two married couples and they�re all on the same rung. We all began this project as friends; I just had more experience and capital. We need Jenn and her amazing kitchen skills as much as we need Amy. In fact, we need everyone here.

I know I blew this one. But what can I do now to fix it?

Since you may ask: The partnership is legally drawn-up and there are no significant issues with fairness, org chart, work distribution, business plan, money, etc. Up until this problem, we had no real problems. People are in charge of their own areas, but we�ve been making major decisions via a consensus model. Technically, I have final say, but I�m not sure what�s fair here.

� Farming in the Vortex of Discontent

Jenn and John are being ridiculous. What Amy is doing makes perfect sense in this context; her job is to entertain guests and impart information to them, and there are only so many ways you can do that. Having a �script� and recycling the same stories and ways of saying things is COMPLETELY NORMAL in this kind of job.

If Amy stuck to a script every time Jenn and John invited her over for dinner, they�d have grounds for being annoyed. But this isn�t a social situation, and social rules don�t apply! This is work, and Amy is essentially on a stage when she�s working with guests. Her patter isn�t directed at coworkers; it�s for guests. She�s doing her job, she�s doing it well, and her goal isn�t (and shouldn�t be) to entertain colleagues while she does it.

This is like if someone managing the sound system for an orchestra kept complaining about having to hear the same songs every night.

I think where you went wrong was by indulging their complaints and asking Amy to change things up. Jenn and John were in the wrong and you should have explained that to them, not tried to get Amy to comply.

As for what to do now � you can try laying this out for Jenn and John, emphasizing that Amy�s stories for the guests are for the guests, not them. Tell them they can�t apply social rules to a work situation. Tell them Amy�s reviews are stellar and her approach with guests has been transformative for the business. Tell them you need them to figure out how to make their peace with how Amy does her job, because you support her approach. And then ask, realistically, if they can live with that or not since it�s not going to change and if it�s a deal-breaker for them, you need to know that.

Because the thing is � �we absolutely need to keep everyone at all costs� isn�t a realistic or smart way to run a business, especially after the very early start-up stage. When that�s your mindset, you put up with behavior that harms the business � and you�ll find yourself putting an unreasonable burden on other people to keep the peace, as happened when you relayed those complaints to Amy. If you had a 50/50 partnership with Jenn and John, this would be harder, although still solvable � but 70% of this business is yours. You have the ability to say �here�s how I need things to run� and �here�s how things will run.� If Jenn and John can find a way to stay happily, great. But don�t get so focused on keeping them at all costs that you let them dictate unreasonable things to the rest of you. That�s much more likely to harm your business in the long run than having to hire a new chef and finance person if it comes to that.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 18:57

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

I trimmed my own bangs once at like, age 6 and it wasn't totally terrible? They were getting in my eyes

and I had some sense of how to trim them evenly. Overall my hair was kept super short as a young child but I hated having my hair combed so it was necessary.

IMO take the kid to the pro, let the pro discuss that it will look bad, if the kid still wants it let the pro do it. Unless they're refusing outright. Let kids experiment with their look but don't let them half-rear end it. You want to dye your hair green? If the dress code permits and you have professional dye money then go nuts and book an appointment. Get ready to maintain your hair. You want to pierce your navel? Better save up to visit a professional and be ready to care for the new piercing.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 18:58

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Solkanar512 posted:

AITA for giving our youngest child a “better” life than the older kids?

This one is annoying me a bit because everyone is focusing on John's outburst as though it's an actionable and likely option rather than just venting and feeling legitimately frustrated at not having the same opportunities as Ryan. Obviously you don't pull Ryan out of the nice school and keep sending him to science camp, but at least acknowledge the sort of opportunities that only open up to the sort of kids given these options in the first place.

My parents were drug addicts almost their whole life. They had 4 kids (me being youngest). I was actually born while my mom was in prison then lived with my dad from hotel to hotel until while I was a child and my brother was a teenager. Eventually my mom got out of prison. Got clean and got custody of me when I was around 8 and my brother was about 20. He used to bully me mercilessly because I had a better teenage life growing up then ended up attacking my mom when I was 11 then forced to move out. So I don't have a lot of sympathy for this kind of story and it really sticks in my craw.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 18:59

MisterOblivious: Mar 17, 2010; by sebmojo

Ensign Expendable posted:

The wife should find a horrible vintage CRT TV to put in there if he likes the 70s so much.

Force the dickhead to watch Fahrenheit 451. It's "retro." It predicted massive 16:9 screens in the living room.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 19:04

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

I'm terrible bc I understand vintage 70s living room guy wanting to keep it looking legit, but then I'd say move the whole collectible setup out of the actual living room and put it in a side room you use less often. Communal areas gotta be just that....communal. The moment your collectibles start taking up so much space they affect your living areas, is when they're a problem.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 19:08

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

I'm terrible bc I understand vintage 70s living room guy wanting to keep it looking legit, but then I'd say move the whole collectible setup out of the actual living room and put it in a side room you use less often. Communal areas gotta be just that....communal. The moment your collectibles start taking up so much space they affect your living areas, is when they're a problem.

This is a Solomonic solution, and it's a shame 70s guy wouldn't hear of it.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 19:13

Fatty: Sep 13, 2004; Not really fat

DemoneeHo posted:

a dispute about customer skills is tearing apart my agrotourism business

Tell Jenn she can never cook the same dish twice.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 19:18

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

how are you gonna be a good executive chef and spend enough time out of the kitchen to get sick of the customer spiel

# ? Jul 28, 2022 19:23

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

"But you don't understand, Amy doing her job is disrespectful to me!"

# ? Jul 28, 2022 19:25

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Fatty posted:

Tell Jenn she can never cook the same dish twice.

I'm sick of these slight variations on cooked chicken, jenn. I don't care that you dress it up in new sauces or seasoning, never serve chicken again!

# ? Jul 28, 2022 19:28

nonathlon: Jul 9, 2004; And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

My parents were drug addicts almost their whole life. They had 4 kids (me being youngest). I was actually born while my mom was in prison then lived with my dad from hotel to hotel until while I was a child and my brother was a teenager. Eventually my mom got out of prison. Got clean and got custody of me when I was around 8 and my brother was about 20. He used to bully me mercilessly because I had a better teenage life growing up then ended up attacking my mom when I was 11 then forced to move out. So I don't have a lot of sympathy for this kind of story and it really sticks in my craw.

With good reason. It's a perfect bucket of crabs scenario, with the older brother trying to drag the younger down. I can't understand how anyone could entertain for a second the idea of keeping all the children down to the lowest level - it's insane.

# ? Jul 28, 2022 19:34

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# ? May 30, 2024 10:17

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

DemoneeHo posted:

a dispute about customer skills is tearing apart my agrotourism business

This thread is a rich vein of stupid problems but this one is in a league of its own. "How dare Amy focus more on the customers than her coworkers" just wtf?

# ? Jul 28, 2022 19:35

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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