|
Argue posted:Joss Whedon is a shithead and all but I dislike how people ascribe "quips and witty banter" (for some measure of "wit") as being a Whedonism. He didn't invent that! Shakespeare famously made heavy use of quips, puns, and crass humor! Which isn't to call Whedon a modern day Shakespeare or anything like that, but he's just the most well-known (and now-notorious) writer in recent memory to really (attempt to) go as all-in on the age-old formula as Willy S did. yeah but shakespeare put some level of thought into them even for the easiest jokes he wrote. you don't have poo poo like king hamlet's ghost disappearing and horatio turning to the audience and saying "well THAT just happened" i don't think literally anyone is claiming that whedon invented quips and banter. whedon popularized lovely banter as dialogue filler and basically a general attitude toward dialogue where you're constantly breaking out of what any reasonable person would say to instead say something "snarky" because you think it appeals to the audience. this worked just fine for buffy because they're all teenagers or insane immortals, and it isn't exactly intended to be a serious show anyway. it isn't a formula you can insert into literally anything, which is what it turned into and what people blame whedon for
|
#
?
Jul 27, 2022 18:31
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 8, 2024 09:14 |
|
|
The thing about Whedon dialogue isn't so much the quips, but more that the characters he writes are pathological incapable of being genuine 95% of the time and always have this sort of "self-aware" feel to them. There's always this implied wink and nod at the viewer. The characters (and by proxy the guy writing their dialogue) know what's up! They're also familiar with all the same pop culture references as you!
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2022 00:13
|
|
|
Dao of the Deal is quite nice so far. Just a slice-of-life-ish story about an isekai who decides to become a merchant.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2022 00:58
|
|
|
TUTBAD: “Look, is Alfric handsome?” asked Mizuki as Verity ate. “Yes. Is he capable? Also yes. Does his family own an awesome dog? I mean, you’ve seen it, why am I asking you?” “Lots of good points,” said Verity. “Honestly, it’s almost all good points, with Alfric,” said Mizuki. “But does he make me weak in the knees?” “Does he?” asked Verity. “It’s not that simple,” said Mizuki. She felt like she’d been trapped by her own question. This made me laugh.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2022 23:27
|
|
|
Peachfart posted:TUTBAD: Mizuki is the best kind of stupid cute
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2022 00:12
|
|
|
Patrick Spens posted:Been reading Pact and it's genuinely impressive how wildbow manages to make things just keep getting worse. It felt like rock bottom three arcs ago, and yet things have managed to fall apart even more. Worm at least had periods of stability and gathering strength. Pact starts at "your totally hosed" and just steadily gets worse and worse. I'm at the part where Blake is taking his friends and family into the Abyss to try and help them. And I've got no idea how this story can keep going for another 4 arcs but I'm real curious to find out. Finished Pact and ironically enough things started turning around immediately after I made that post. On the whole I liked it. Pact could definitely have used a good editing pass, but it definitely feels more complete and structured than most web novels, and I think it was a better story than Worm, even if Worm is probably going to stick with me longer. It would never happen, but I would love Wildbow to write a completely mundane black comedy about dysfunction family fighting over grandma's inheritance, cause the Thorburns were surprisingly entertaining in the back half of the story. Also Blake sliding into wizard IRC and being all, "Hello fellow kids, got an family members who need murdering? was some top tier lateral problem solving.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2022 01:32
|
|
|
Pact is Wildbow's best work and he should've edited it and queried it. It'd be much less of a headache than anything to do with Worm.
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2022 02:27
|
|
|
Is Casualfarmer out of ideas for Beware of Chicken? Two flashbacks in a row is getting a bit boring.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2022 02:45
|
|
|
It's just poor pacing, if he were doing a traditional book publishing thing his editor would point it out to him and he'd restructure the book to spread the flashbacks out. The first flashback is really awkwardly placed because he wanted to get to the tournament. Though if I'm being critical of him as an author, he has two bad habits: 1. But what's the pig doing? He feels the need to describe what every single character is doing at any point, even when they aren't doing much and aren't the focal point of the scene. We have to know that one pig is serving drinks and the other is running around in a circle, even though their habits and personalities are well established at this point and they aren't deviating in any way. You can say it's a slice of life thing, but it really isn't, even slice of life needs things to happen that are different from the last thing. It's just a boring waste of time because he doesn't have the confidence as an author to let the reader fill in the blanks. It relates to the second bit: 2. Remember that fun thing we did, grandpa? We sure did that fun thing. Let's flashback about that thing we did. The Grandpa flashback is when I really noticed this. Almost everything in the flashback was already referred to and described. If he had just left it alone, we could fill in a fun mischievous relationship and a sympathetic past where Rou didn't know who he really was, and if anything it would be more effective to not show every detail. He didn't trust the reader to fill that in though, so he inserted a flashback where literally everything he references happens.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2022 03:33
|
|
|
tbf if my audience was seemingly "every user on RoyalRoad" i wouldn't trust them either 
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2022 03:54
|
|
|
From the author's note at the start of flashback #2, I think he agrees it doesn't flow well, but it's a serial so can't go back and move sections around now.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2022 05:12
|
|
|
Foxfire_ posted:From the author's note at the start of flashback #2, I think he agrees it doesn't flow well, but it's a serial so can't go back and move sections around now. He certainly could. There are several series on RR that have been heavily edited after their initial release. I'm even reading one series right now that was entirely rewritten. No comments on if that's a profitable or wise use of the author's productive writing time.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2022 23:06
|
|
|
Larry Parrish posted:Mizuki is the best kind of stupid cute I thought I would hate Mizuki based solely off the way she was quoted and described in this thread, but after actually reading the serial I like her a lot.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2022 23:47
|
|
|
LLSix posted:He certainly could. There are several series on RR that have been heavily edited after their initial release. I'm even reading one series right now that was entirely rewritten. "I'm taking a break to edit book one" (is never heard from again) is one of the most common trends in the field, so I wouldn't recommend it lol
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2022 13:10
|
|
|
mossyfisk posted:"I'm taking a break to edit book one" (is never heard from again) is one of the most common trends in the field, so I wouldn't recommend it lol God I wanted to edit my first arc so badly, but was utterly terrified of this. It took me almost a month to edit a mere 30k words on top of doing everything else, but I managed to fix the first arc without getting into the rewrite spiral of DOOM. because yes, it does kill a LOT of stories.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2022 18:10
|
|
|
Larry Parrish posted:yeah the best part is some of those weird made up things like the eternal cybernetic queen of Bongistan (named for Big Bonger, aka Big Ben) and it's fog that nobody living has come back from isn't really something the local humans made up, it's either some horrible scar from one of several genocide wars or one or the said interdimensional invaders that wasn't too much of an rear end in a top hat about it
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2022 23:24
|
|
|
DACK FAYDEN posted:I am really enjoying this and I want more of A Feral Drew A Dick On My Housing Lol yeah the fully sapient AIs are always a blast.
|
|
#
?
Jul 31, 2022 00:49
|
|
|
TWI Patreon: Garry is the bestest.
|
|
#
?
Jul 31, 2022 01:36
|
|
|
I love Saturday, I get a new TWI and Ar'Kendrithyst.
|
|
#
?
Jul 31, 2022 02:51
|
|
|
Eh. It's been 6 weeks of realm building. I miss the tension
|
|
#
?
Jul 31, 2022 03:08
|
|
|
Mulozon Empuri posted:Eh. It's been 6 weeks of realm building. I miss the tension There's plenty of tension my friend
|
|
#
?
Jul 31, 2022 04:45
|
|
|
Recently every Ark chapter I go into it wondering if this is the one where someone gets assassinated or something blows up to shake up the leisurely world building. When the MC goes from day to day expecting this and is happy when it doesn't happen, that's tension.
|
|
#
?
Jul 31, 2022 07:43
|
|
|
TUTBAD: It's hilarious how so many commenters are convinced Cate is a dragon, on basically no evidence.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 00:40
|
|
|
It's kind of obvious, especially considering her phrasing during her visit with verity
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 00:49
|
|
|
TUTBAD: This Used To Be About Dungeons, But Now It's About Relationship Drama
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 01:17
|
|
|
LLSix posted:TUTBAD: It's hilarious how so many commenters are convinced Cate is a dragon, on basically no evidence. Also: Poor Kell.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 01:23
|
|
|
LLSix posted:TUTBAD: It's hilarious how so many commenters are convinced Cate is a dragon, on basically no evidence.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 03:55
|
|
|
I only just got to read the first part of the TWI book 1 rewrite. I really like some of the new additions, like the added chapters for a certain goblin especially. Rags was always a smart one, it's not just Erin's influence ! . But other parts seem like added only in reaction to nitpicking, like how the place where Erin meets the dragon can't be the one where Ryoka meets him later, or how Erin knows to safely eat blue fruit. . I don't like it when people call out inconsistencies that can be easily explained with a bit of imagination, and rewriting the story to fix that somehow takes away some of the mystery. But I assume it would feel more natural if you read it like this in the first place.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 14:42
|
|
|
I've read part 2 and while the new stuff is enjoyable, I can't say it'll do any favors for anyone who was hoping it would make things more concise. In particular, there's an extended intro to Liscor which is roughly the equivalent of the opening number of Beauty and the Beast, with Erin observing daily life in Liscor and briefly making Drassi's acquaintance. It's a pleasant addition for the web serial, and yes, I liked reading it, but considering the rewrite is aiming for physical publication of volume 1, I do think it might be unnecessary considering Liscor's portrayal was already decent to strong, and there are much weaker parts later that deserve more addressing. There's now also a few extra references to future things (some various random Liscorians are now named, earlier namedrops of raskghar and Az'kerash, etc), but as I'm not a new reader, I can't tell whether those are easily filed away in the "safe to forget this until it comes up again later" part of the reader's brain, or if they're the sort of namedrops that would make a reader go "wtf, do I have to remember all of these names?"
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 17:56
|
|
|
I might give it a shot again, if it does get an edited physical publication. I think I dropped Wandering Inn last time when Erin had abused her skeleton slave to the point where it tried to kill her. I was rooting for it to succeed, death to slavers and all that. I was not particularly enthused with either of the leads at that point, and decided to switch to something with a more likeable protagonist. A bit of editing work might easily reframe those scenes to be less alienating.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 18:13
|
|
|
If it helps, it eventually becomes pretty clear that TWI takes a very anti-slavery stance, even without a rewrite. Erin doesn't know Toren is sapient, and when she does... well, by then it's too late to make amends and there are consequences for her treatment of him. But the second lead... yeah she's one of the main reasons the author is going to be fixing up volume 1; pirate is well aware that Ryoka is extremely toxic and alienating--in editing her chapters, the intent isn't to change Ryoka's actions, but to explain them better.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 18:55
|
|
|
Godslayers is kinda hard to read lately. I like the worldbuilding and such, but this girl has been loving up constantly for 20+ chapters at least, like a turbo-Ryoka.
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 11:00
|
|
|
Dr Snofeld posted:Godslayers is kinda hard to read lately. I like the worldbuilding and such, but this girl has been loving up constantly for 20+ chapters at least, like a turbo-Ryoka. I still need to catch up on it, but I found it weird that this young woman that's basically right out of training is supposed to be the infiltration specialist in this otherwise hyper-competent team. When she has basically no clue how to actually infiltrate anything or integrate into the culture, and her team has to tell her what to do with almost everything. It seems like she wasn't anywhere NEAR ready to actually go Godslaying. It kinda seemed like she was made to be the relatable modern Earth protagonist, but then it makes no sense for her to actually be there.
|
|
#
?
Aug 6, 2022 01:40
|
|
|
They're all infiltration specialists, of one sort or another, but I think the thing with Lilith's cloak is that it's actually a pretty rare piece of a kit and she had one anyway due to the traumatic backstory stuff. In fact, I'm not certain it's something they can kit just anyone out with. I think; I haven't decided yet if I actually like Godslayers very much and a lot of the fine details have slid out of my brain already. One other thing that's relevant is that the rest of the team don't seem to think Lilith is as much of a gently caress up as she herself does. She handled the assassination/angel encounter in the opening arc very well and while she's not as good with the social infiltration, none of the errors she's made in this competition arc (at least as far as I've read: I'm not current) have had a significant impact on their mission objectives. She's made solid allies in these two allies and even when the stealth priest shish-kabobs her they're just like "alright, that's an hour in the regen tanks- and this is a lot of great intel". e: Oh right, I came here to post that Virtuous Sons has gotten a webcomic adaptation. 
KOGAHAZAN!! fucked around with this message at 02:15 on Aug 6, 2022 |
|
#
?
Aug 6, 2022 02:02
|
|
|
She is a scrubby noob, but she was just one green trooper on a mission of hundreds. But everyone else in the initial invasion died, so now it's just her and her team.
|
|
#
?
Aug 6, 2022 03:42
|
|
|
Ar'Kendrithyst Patreon: Erick must have found someone else. Or maybe he truly didn’t want her? Like he said he didn’t? But why wouldn’t he! She had grown a lot in the last six months. She had boobs now! Men liked boobs, right?!
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2022 03:44
|
|
|
Peachfart posted:Ar'Kendrithyst Patreon: Erick must have found someone else. Or maybe he truly didn’t want her? Like he said he didn’t? But why wouldn’t he! She had grown a lot in the last six months. She had boobs now! Men liked boobs, right?! F
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2022 06:00
|
|
|
I finally caught up with the latest Cradle book. I'm mad they killed Jai Long. Now Lindon's sister doesn't really have any connection to anyone relevant aside from Lindon himself and Jai Long's sister. They should have killed, I dunno, Elder Whisper or something. Also, it's complete bullshit that Lindon didn't forsee that situation coming about. He obviously foresaw the Silent King doing stuff (since he gave all his family/friends those constructs that prevent it from controlling you), and he knew that Jai Long would be with his sister. He should have provided him with one of the constructs to more adequately protect his sister simply because Jai Long was "an Underlord who would be in her vicinity if the Silent King mind-controlled everyone," regardless of whether he cared about Jai Long's safety personally. Otherwise I think the series allowed for Lindon gaining ridiculous power in about as reasonable a way as it could have. Usually such a thing relies upon the rest of the world just somehow being unrealistically ignorant about powerful cultivation methods (given thousands of years of research), but Lindon basically ascends through a combination of "advice from a guy who knows more about cultivation than literally anyone else in Cradle" (which gets him to Sage quickly) and acquisition of the Slumbering Wraith arm (a one-of-a-kind thing with its existence explained by the setting) + Dross, which gets him to whatever he is now. Dross is probably the closest thing to a bullshit ability/acquisition, since it depends on no one ever discovering that you can create pseudo-Presences through just drenching a mind spirit in dream aura for years (or whatever it was that created Dross, IIRC it was something like that). It seems like someone would have figured this out over the millennia, and it's basically central to Lindon's success. You can kinda say the same about Yerin's blood shadow pseudo-Herald ascension, though that makes more sense since research would understandably be limited (due to needing a blood shadow in the first place + the only guy doing serious research being fundamentally incompatible with the "correct" method). So it's more plausible that she might stumble upon that "cheat" method (likely with some prodding from Eithan, who probably knew about that possiblity). Ytlaya fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Aug 8, 2022 |
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 03:15
|
|
|
Eh, I don't think it's at all unreasonable that others do not know about making Dross like things. Technological developments only seem obvious in hind sight, and soaking a specific type of construct in extremely valuable, rare, dream elixir for hundreds of years is not exactly a common happening. Regarding Jai Long, it makes total sense to me that Lindon wouldn't think of him. Lindon does not want to think too much about the rear end in a top hat slaver who cut off his arm. He also was limited on supplies that could produce underlord level anti-SK devices. Most importantly, it's good for main characters to gently caress up.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 03:59
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 8, 2024 09:14 |
|
|
Wittgen posted:Eh, I don't think it's at all unreasonable that others do not know about making Dross like things. Technological developments only seem obvious in hind sight, and soaking a specific type of construct in extremely valuable, rare, dream elixir for hundreds of years is not exactly a common happening. Yeah the Dross thing doesn't bug me too much, but it's still the closest thing to "bullshit luck" that Lindon encounters. The elixir in question wasn't that valuable/rare for Herald/Monarch-level people, but it seems like Northstrider might be the only Monarch who even does that sort of research in the first place. I think that him not accounting for Jai Long could make sense if it were explained as "Lindon not accounting for him because he consciously or unconsciously doesn't want to think about Jai Long's relationship with his sister," but it doesn't really make sense as something he would overlook. Dross basically eliminates any normal "careless mistakes through overlooking things" that might happen with a normal person (and we see this in how ridiculously comprehensive the defenses he provided to his family were). There's absolutely no way that "Jai Long will be one of the few Underlords in the area and in direct proximity to my sister" wouldn't have been considered (unless Lindon directly chose not to account for it), because Dross would have been involved in making those plans. I also cut Jai Long more slack than most cultivator people just because everyone raised in that society is insane and horrible, and at least he managed to become decent.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 22:35
|
|