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Cloacamazing! posted:What I don't get is where this autism = emontionless thing even comes from. I guess it's the whole "genius too busy for emotions" thing from pop culture? But that's shown to be a lie in every single case. Anyway, he observed that the autistic children in his care didn't show emotion and / or had to be reminded to smile when something pleased them, as Hopper & RPATDO were describing. HopperUK posted:It's because some people with autism don't show their emotions in expression and body language in a way that's easily read by neurotypical people. RPATDO_LAMD posted:Also many autistic people (including me, especially when I was young) can struggle with self-reflection and the ability to recognize their own emotions and know what they're feeling. Unfortunately this confusion between atypical display of emotions / "no emotions" was still very popular in the 80s, the end of which saw the Cruise / Hoffman oscar bait Rain Man come out, and so much of the public's perception of autistics comes from this film. It portrays Raymond as fundamentally emotionless except for outbursts of extreme frustration and self harm. I think at one point in the film someone even says he has a lack of emotions, or says he doesn't have emotions 'like the rest of us do,' (meaning his emotions aren't the same, but I feel like most people heard it as not having them). In reality the disconnect can be varied though. Autistic people may smile uncontrollaby first before realising that something made them happy. They may describe wandering round the house unable to concentrate and having too much energy, when an allistic person might just say 'irritable' or 'angry.' Famously you have meldowns / shutdowns which look to neurotypicals like 'just disproportionately angry.' And you might hear a joke, think it's the best joke ever, and then go on to excitedly explain why you think the joke was amazing, only to have the other person go "but you didn't laugh much." No, I was busy unfolding the many layers on which the joke works, I forgot. E: I just realised that whole post was an incredibly autistic moment - you said something like you don't know where that comes from and so I defaulted to a massive explanattion, whereas you probably meant more like "I can't relate to the people that do this." I end up doing this a lot. TIP posted:I think the Orville does a surprisingly good job of making their robot character genuinely alien and not just a human minus some characteristics. I certainly don't relate to him. Bobby Deluxe fucked around with this message at 07:18 on Jul 31, 2022 |
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Jul 31, 2022 07:11
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Don't forget typing a post out, then deciding to not post after all. The post I made before that was my third attempt.
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Jul 31, 2022 07:11
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I recommend the book "NeuroTribes" by Steve Silberman for anyone interested in learing the history of autism and of Hans Asperger.
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Jul 31, 2022 07:44
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RPATDO_LAMD posted:I recommend the book "NeuroTribes" by Steve Silberman for anyone interested in learing the history of autism and of Hans Asperger. He was a guest on an episode of Harmontown where he talks about the book: https://www.harmontown.com/2015/09/episode-163-neurotitties/ Haven't listened to this ep in a while but I remember him being a good guest. TIP fucked around with this message at 09:01 on Jul 31, 2022 |
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Jul 31, 2022 08:07
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is there a good auti-friendly Discord any of you could recommend? whilst I do have a variety of acquaintances and what could pass as friends I guess, I feel very limited in the things I feel comfortable sharing with them or feel like they actually understand. I really curate how I present myself to them and keep a keen eye as to not invoke ire or outright mockery. I know many people but I cannot shake this feeling of being lonely.
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Jul 31, 2022 08:07
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I found out quite by accident that many of the (small) Twitch streamers I enjoy watching are autistic or ND, and their chats and community discords are full of autistic people and allies, not through any intention but through shared interests, similar types of humour and so on. I do keep that part of my online identity segmented from other parts and also separate from my real life friends and that helps a bit too, in that I don't have to worry about presenting myself wrongly. It might be a good place to start? If you don't think of yourself as a gamer there are art and music streams too, or probably other hobbyist streamers also. Twitch streams that tag themselves as LGBTQI+ friendly are often pretty good and safe places to be yourself.
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Jul 31, 2022 09:31
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TIP posted:He was a guest on an episode of Harmontown where he talks about the book: That was a great episode. Going to go read NeuroTribes now!
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Jul 31, 2022 13:08
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Cynicus posted:is there a good auti-friendly Discord any of you could recommend? whilst I do have a variety of acquaintances and what could pass as friends I guess, I feel very limited in the things I feel comfortable sharing with them or feel like they actually understand. I really curate how I present myself to them and keep a keen eye as to not invoke ire or outright mockery. I've never really looked into a discord, but did you consider joining some form of initiative to come into contact with other autists? I know you from the Dutch thread, and if you live in or near a city there's a solid chance some sort of autism support network exists, you just gotta find it. Edit: to give an example, there's a social work initiative where I live where autists can meet up and talk or do things and try to make friends with eachother, with a social worker present to help with organising, moving conversation along, and helping the participants out with forming bonds. I'm trying it out and have been to a few meetings, my initial impressions are positive. Dance Officer fucked around with this message at 13:59 on Jul 31, 2022 |
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Jul 31, 2022 13:46
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Cynicus posted:is there a good auti-friendly Discord any of you could recommend? whilst I do have a variety of acquaintances and what could pass as friends I guess, I feel very limited in the things I feel comfortable sharing with them or feel like they actually understand. I really curate how I present myself to them and keep a keen eye as to not invoke ire or outright mockery. Like most servers, it can be very hit and miss because the environment can make or break it. Also, unless the demographics for joining a server are very specific, most autistic discord members skew young (like teens into early 20s,) and as someone in my mid-30s, it's really hard to relate to people half my age. I wish there were more discords explicitly for autistic adults.
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Jul 31, 2022 14:12
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Dance Officer posted:I've never really looked into a discord, but did you consider joining some form of initiative to come into contact with other autists? I know you from the Dutch thread, and if you live in or near a city there's a solid chance some sort of autism support network exists, you just gotta find it. thanks, this never did occur to me, I will look into it.  SetsunaMeioh posted:I wish there were more discords explicitly for autistic adults. agreed, absolutely.
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Jul 31, 2022 16:49
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After discovering this thread I decided to try to find a way to... Well not self diagnose, but more see if there's cause for further research. Looking up local resources I found out about the AQ-10 for adults and I scored 10/10. And after seeing the previous discussion I'm wondering how many people I hang out with or consider friends or even just watch on youtube and twitch are "neurotypical". I suppose I should talk with my psychiatrist about this next time the opportunity arises, a simple form isn't enough to go on. I'm just wondering why neither I nor anyone else ever tried to figure this out when I was younger. I guess I just barely managed to be "normal" enough to not really garner attention. Also if people want a discord for adults with autism why not make one if you can't find one? I don't know much about promoting public discords myself but it can't be that hard? Famous last words.
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Jul 31, 2022 20:50
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Something my son does is when he eats pizza he flips the pizza slice upside down. He will turn the slice over on the plate and either pick it up and eat it like that, or pick at the bread and pull it apart to eat it. He has some strong food preferences which is all fine and good but this thing with the pizza is the most interesting and I was curious if anyone else ever did anything similar as a child, or still does? I was thinking about my own food habits and couldn't come up with any, I'm sure there are some though.
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Jul 31, 2022 22:28
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cinnamon rollout posted:Something my son does is when he eats pizza he flips the pizza slice upside down. I haven't done this but now I kinda want to, get those toppings and cheese straight to my tongue. 
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Jul 31, 2022 22:32
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I had a lot of weird food rules (still do tbh but fewer) but not pizza upside down, haha. If I had some candy that was different colours like skittles, I would split them by colour, then carefully eat them in order so the numbers evened out. I would still very much like for my different foods to not ever touch each other. I've learned to deal with it, but if I *could* enforce that everywhere, I would.
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Jul 31, 2022 22:32
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HopperUK posted:I had a lot of weird food rules (still do tbh but fewer) but not pizza upside down, haha. If I had some candy that was different colours like skittles, I would split them by colour, then carefully eat them in order so the numbers evened out. The food not touching thing he also does sometimes. Also if I move a piece of food on a plate, like for example if I move a chicken nugget from one plate to a different one, he will absolutely move it back before eating it.
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Jul 31, 2022 22:36
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cinnamon rollout posted:The food not touching thing he also does sometimes. Also if I move a piece of food on a plate, like for example if I move a chicken nugget from one plate to a different one, he will absolutely move it back before eating it. Yep yep yep. Also earlier I could not find the correct fork to go with the knife I was using. What a day.
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Jul 31, 2022 22:44
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One thing I'd say is don't make a big deal out of how he chooses to eat if it's not too disruptive/dangerous/other valid reasons. I remember one time when I was a kid my mom looked at me weird and asked me if I had to eat my food items one by one. It wasn't something I was even paying attention to but apparently I would eat each different part of the meal entirely before moving on to the next. Like I'd eat all my broccoli, then eat all the main dish, then eat the bread. Being questioned about it and getting that look made me feel really self conscious and I blurted out "No!" and spent many years making sure that I switched back and forth between each thing on my plate. I kinda felt like my parents were watching me and if I did anything too weird I might get sent away to a mental hospital. That last part might just be a me thing though, related to my parents both getting hospitalized for long stretches due to mental issues.
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Jul 31, 2022 22:48
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My parents were actually very cool about my various little weirdnesses. Like to the point of making a separate dinner for me if they were eating something I had a texture-based issue with (never flavour issues, only texture issues).
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Jul 31, 2022 22:53
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TIP posted:One thing I'd say is don't make a big deal out of how he chooses to eat if it's not too disruptive/dangerous/other valid reasons. We let him eat however he feels most comfortable, but it is good to be reminded how sensitive a topic can be. To assuage any worry I will say I never considered trying to stop him from eating upside down pizza, instead I went out and bought a little portable steam cleaner because he tends to put his pizza down next to the plate instead of on the plate, so it ends up on couches, carpet, beds, etc. I will eat an upside down slice next time there is pizza here, maybe I will understand the greatness if I have an upside down slice
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Jul 31, 2022 22:55
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cinnamon rollout posted:We let him eat however he feels most comfortable, but it is good to be reminded how sensitive a topic can be. To assuage any worry I will say I never considered trying to stop him from eating upside down pizza, instead I went out and bought a little portable steam cleaner because he tends to put his pizza down next to the plate instead of on the plate, so it ends up on couches, carpet, beds, etc. Please report back, it's possible he has unlocked a secret of the universe here. e: occurs to me it's less easy to get sauce on your nose eating it his way. hmm
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Jul 31, 2022 22:56
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HopperUK posted:Please report back, it's possible he has unlocked a secret of the universe here. Now that I am thinking about food, he also does one more thing, he does it so often I forgot about it but it's almost as good as upside down pizza, he will eat pita bread by biting a hold in the dead center of it, and eating it from the middle outward if that makes sense. I've seen pizza slices with a perfect circle bite taken out of the middle of a slice too.
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Jul 31, 2022 23:01
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HopperUK posted:My parents were actually very cool about my various little weirdnesses. Like to the point of making a separate dinner for me if they were eating something I had a texture-based issue with (never flavour issues, only texture issues). My situation may be a little unique in that I was never diagnosed with anything but both of my older sisters were and both of my parents were. So my parents were keeping an eye out for things but I was anxiously dipping and dodging and keeping one step ahead of them.  I'm sure they would have been accommodating to me if they knew I had issues, but I really didn't wanna have issues.
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Jul 31, 2022 23:02
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I feel like one of the few autistic people without any food sensitivities! I went through a normal kid pickiness phase but otherwise I'm actually more of a texture seeker. My little brother on the other hand has a host of allergies and had the stereotypical restricted diet. My family has always eaten family style, even with western food, so luckily he never had anything forced for him and while he started out only choosing rice and meats, he came to pick at the shared dishes and now he has a mostly unrestricted diet with only some texture sensitivity like with mushrooms
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Aug 1, 2022 01:03
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Mushrooms can gently caress off. poo poo texture, poo poo taste.
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Aug 1, 2022 01:07
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I have a pretty wide ranging taste in food and like to try new things but I definitely have issues with some textures. Like if noodles or vegetables are cooked just a little too much they are inedible to me, I will literally gag if I'm forced to eat vegetables that have lost their crispness. Same thing with fruits that are a little too ripe. Those are the most common issues but most often when I really hate a food it's because the texture is repulsive. I have ADHD and autism and I wonder if that might be a common link among autistic people who like to try new foods. I've heard people describe the ADHD/autism combo as kind of a mind at war with itself, with many conflicting desires like wanting both routine and novel stimulus.
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Aug 1, 2022 01:28
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TIP posted:I have ADHD and autism and I wonder if that might be a common link among autistic people who like to try new foods. I've heard people describe the ADHD/autism combo as kind of a mind at war with itself, with many conflicting desires like wanting both routine and novel stimulus. One way I get over this is trying food off of my family and/or friend's plate if I've never tried it before. If I don't like it, then I don't feel the incredible guilt of wasting it (fear of breaking routine) & if I do like it, that basically become imprinted in my memory.
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Aug 1, 2022 02:29
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Learning that food texture stuff was a common autism thing back in the day was the thing that really sealed the "oh I'm probably autistic" deal. In my case I can deal with most solid food textures fine (I love mushrooms!) but thick cheesy sauces I can't handle at all. I have taught myself to tolerate creamy sauces because they taste so good but the food has to be very hot for it to work. I have no idea why heat helps. I also sleep on a silk or satin pillowcase because they're the only fabrics smooth enough to not feel super rough against my face. That was a fun one growing up, the way I tried to communicate it was to say my pillow wasn't soft enough, and that worked about as well as you can imagine.
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Aug 1, 2022 02:31
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Mecca-Benghazi posted:I feel like one of the few autistic people without any food sensitivities! I went through a normal kid pickiness phase but otherwise I'm actually more of a texture seeker. I barely have any food sensitivities either. Now clothing on the other hand...
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Aug 1, 2022 03:53
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Violet_Sky posted:I barely have any food sensitivities either. Now clothing on the other hand... I have like thirty shirts but I only wear four because the others feel bad
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Aug 1, 2022 04:14
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I had a vivid dream/nightmare that I choked on tuna mornay when I was fairly young which stopped me from being able to eat tuna until my 20s. Definitely a texture thing but the sharp texture in my dream memory over rode the actual texture for a really long time. Separately I went through phases of loving prawns when I was young, being unable to eat prawns as a teenager and loving them again in my twenties, definitely texture related. But the texture didn’t change, it was my reaction that did. Because my reaction to prawns changed it encouraged me to try food that I think I hate in case I like it again. I have one main food rule, which is that white food is not allowed to touch red food, unless bacon or sausage is there too. So no tomato sauce on potato or bread. I also tend to peel apart layered food and eat it from top to bottom, that’s partly because I have a food allergy and I’m checking to see what I’m eating but it also scratches a hard to define itch. Lastly I eat groups of food, definitely all my broccoli first but that’s because I hate when the veg gets cold because I didn’t eat it fast enough. I’m likely to leave my favourite until last so that it is the last thing I taste.
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Aug 1, 2022 04:21
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I could sum up 90% of the problems I have as "It just feels wrong," with the extended caveat that if something feels wrong, it's almost impossible for me to push past that feeling and actually do it. It's not exactly fear or anxiety, because I feel emotionally neutral when I get blocked in this way, but also my motivation to do it is almost negative - it takes an incredible reserve of will to do it. Ask me about going to obscene lengths to make sure I don't have an odd number in my D&D builds!
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Aug 1, 2022 04:24
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tfw you step on a crack in the pavement with one foot and then you can't find one to step on with the other foot
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Aug 1, 2022 04:28
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I also have fewer texture sensitivities with food than a lot of other folks (my siblings got most of that), but God forbid someone try to mix fruity and savory. Fruity glazes on meat, or apple on a sandwich, or mango salsa can gently caress right off. I've even tasted all of those and they're not bad, they're just wrong! 
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Aug 1, 2022 04:35
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Quorum posted:I also have fewer texture sensitivities with food than a lot of other folks (my siblings got most of that), but God forbid someone try to mix fruity and savory. Fruity glazes on meat, or apple on a sandwich, or mango salsa can gently caress right off. I've even tasted all of those and they're not bad, they're just wrong! Pizza toppings must consist of: tomato sauce, cheese and mushrooms. Anything else is Incorrect, even if the added ingredients are foods I normally enjoy.
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Aug 1, 2022 04:52
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When eating bread or pizza, the crust must be eaten first, except for one tiny sliver of crust to hold it by. That sliver will ultimately be the second-last bite.
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Aug 1, 2022 04:55
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I like that method! I do the opposite though (the crusts are my favourite part so I save them until last).
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Aug 1, 2022 04:59
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If I could make a universe where salads were divided into grids of perfectly proportioned bites of lettuce and its toppings, I would. When I run out of a topping, the salad's dead to me. It's incomplete! There should have been one bit of cheese per bite!
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Aug 1, 2022 05:08
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Stoca Zola posted:I’m likely to leave my favourite until last so that it is the last thing I taste. Same! My dad taught that trick to me and I've analysed all of my meals since then to figure out the best part to leave for last. HopperUK posted:I had a lot of weird food rules (still do tbh but fewer) but not pizza upside down, haha. If I had some candy that was different colours like skittles, I would split them by colour, then carefully eat them in order so the numbers evened out. Do you have a set order for them too? Red always tastes best, so that's last, and I tend to start with the less tasty ones, like blue M&Ms or white gummy bears. Speaking of those, anybody else like it when the gummy bear package has been open for a bit and they become chewier? I've met only one other person who did this on purpose.
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Aug 1, 2022 05:27
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Food things for me - I struggle with the texture of some soups, food that is overly mushy (bananas), the bursting of blueberries when you bite them, the skin of bell peppers - I like to eat food one at a time (all the broccoli, then all the carrots, then the potatoes, etc.). I usually eat them from least favorite to most favorite - For pizza, I sometimes use a fork to get all the toppings off, eat the toppings, then eat the base/crust after I've never been formally diagnosed as autistic, I don't see the point of getting formally diagnosed at this point (I'm 30 years old, so not much will change). I score incredibly high on the self-assessments and my parents have suspected it.
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Aug 1, 2022 06:16
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SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:I have like thirty shirts but I only wear four because the others feel bad When I was little my parents thought I had "sensitive skin". I'm not sure it was a physical thing now, as certain fabric textures can drive me mad.
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Aug 1, 2022 06:41
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