|
Riatsala posted:When my Google home says anything other than the answer to what I just asked it drives me into a fury. I don't care about other features you have, tell me the weather and shut the gently caress up "Try saying 'Hey Google, tell a joke" "Hey Google, shut the gently caress up forever." "...da-ding."
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2022 19:04
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 23, 2024 19:38 |
|
|
My roommate claims that the Google Home gave her a time out for verbal abuse. The funniest part of the story is when she tried to convince Google she was me, and Google told her "no, you're not." I have no idea if this actually happened or not, it at least made a funny story, like a Seinfeld C-Plot.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2022 19:10
|
|
|
"I'm tellin' ya Jerry, Alexa iced me out!" "Alexa doesn't ice people out, what are you talking about?" "You think I can't tell? Hoo-hoo, boy, I've heard that thing read out POETRY to people, then she won't even give me so much as a DING in response." "You want your ding? Talk to my Alexa. Get your dang ding." "Alexa? Alexa? ... YOU SEE, JERRY? Iced out! No ding!" "No ding?" "Not a single ding!"
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2022 19:14
|
|
|
Every single day: "Thank you for calling, this is Parasol. Could I start by getting your first and last name please?" "Yeah uh the reason I'm calling is..." I asked you a question 
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2022 22:33
|
|
|
i dont want to give a person on the phone my first and last name right off the bat
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2022 22:55
|
|
|
I'm not telling anyone I haven't known for more than a year my full name.
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2022 22:57
|
|
|
Parasol Prophet posted:Every single day: “Thank you for calling, this is <name> how can I help you today?” “I’m fine, and you?”
|
|
#
?
Aug 2, 2022 22:58
|
|
|
Parasol Prophet posted:Every single day: I used to work in a call center for T-Mobile and we had this incredibly dreadful "Call Flow" thing set up. So for fuckin years T-Mobile regularly won tons of awards for customer service; it was fine. But T-Mobile became so loving obsessed with this like magic formula that was the perfect combination of making the customer happy and getting the customer off the phone so you can take more calls. The Call Flow was a list of 50+ metrics we had to hit on every single call, in loving order. The first was, getting the customer's name, and the second was assuring the customer that we can help them. We were not loving allowed to do anything until we got the customer's name and told them we can help them even when we definitely could not help them because the customer might need to be transferred to another loving department or maybe the customer is just wrong about a billing discrepancy or whatever. There was suddenly a deluge of call quality scores going down, and if you fell below a certain call average threshold for two months in a row, you were just loving fired. And so many of these metrics were based on things like, how long it took you after the call to complete the work needed to be done, because you're supposed to keep the customer there for the entire time even if you're just making a note, but jnot for too long because your call time average will go up. It was loving ludicrous, you'd see people with like Top 10 Employee of the Nation awards, people with tons and tons of accolades, but because of the loving Call Flow metrics, they were axed. Nevermind they were the most valuable employees; the computer algorithm determined them inefficient!! Anyway, sorry, it just reminded me of working for customer service. credburn has a new favorite as of 00:45 on Aug 3, 2022 |
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 00:41
|
|
|
I feel lucky in that none of the call center jobs I used to work were ever that bad. Coincidentally, they all wound up getting unceremoniously closed in favor of shittier call centers that could do a worse job for less money.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 00:49
|
|
|
Le Faye Morgaine posted:Our self checkouts don't let you buy liquor from them, so that cuts down on having a bunch of folks queuing for it. Does your guys' machines let you purchase them? I am sure its meant to discourage whoops forgot to scan this so its free from happening.
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 03:43
|
|
|
Shibawanko posted:i dont want to give a person on the phone my first and last name right off the bat FreudianSlippers posted:I'm not telling anyone I haven't known for more than a year my full name. Then say "no" before you start blabbering about your problem. It's that simple. (Also I hate asking for people's names immediately, but as people above have posted, mandatory call flows suck)
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 16:47
|
|
|
Yeah I think for a lot of customer service-related peeves the worker is also aware of and hates it too but it’s mandatory 
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 20:41
|
|
|
When I worked in customer service there was certain types of help I wasn't allowed to give bc we charged extra for it but when the boss was at lunch I'd call back my favourite customers and give them that help for free 😈
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 20:44
|
|
|
Killingyouguy! posted:When I worked in customer service there was certain types of help I wasn't allowed to give bc we charged extra for it but when the boss was at lunch I'd call back my favourite customers and give them that help for free 😈 At the time, we couldn't interfere with even blatantly obvious scammers, so I'd keep track of any numbers that seemed like they were falling for it and call them on my way to lunch etc. We were told this was a federal offense but lmao
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 21:22
|
|
cowboy
|
We needed the customer's name and address at Comcast unless they know their account number (they never do) And yes both, because plenty of different accounts matched one of the two. We're also going to know your name and address regardless because it's literally on your account that we have to go even if the problem is just "turn it off, then on."
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 21:51
|
|
|
Parasol Prophet posted:Then say "no" before you start blabbering about your problem. It's that simple. i did that job for a while. it's a cultural thing, people calling from the uk seemed to think it was totally normal, if you ask a continental european their name right away or worse, address them by their first name, they just shut down like a clam. i would too
|
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 22:45
|
|
|
Killingyouguy! posted:When I worked in customer service there was certain types of help I wasn't allowed to give bc we charged extra for it but when the boss was at lunch I'd call back my favourite customers and give them that help for free 😈 During my last year as a T-Mobile customer service employee, I no longer cared about my job and was seeing how far I could go before I got fired. I was one of the fastest people in the call center, so all my averages were stellar; that meant that the only way I'd get fired was if one of the 8 calls audited that month was a particularly bad one. My extremely good numbers would average out most of the bad. There were women who would flirt with me sometimes. I don't know what they imagine the guy on the other end looking like; their idea of Call Center Physique might have been slightly inaccurate. This was a common thing (well, flirting when women called, creepy sexual harassment from the men) and we were given specific instructions on how to knock it off. But I just went with it. I had a brief relationship of sorts (phone and text, long distance) with someone I met who called in. I used to give away bonus minutes and issue credits whenever customers seemed like they needed it or were nice. As long as credits were under five dollars, none of it was audited, and I had years of being a fuckin number one employee there so the only credits I generally needed approval for were if they were in one of the 8 audits. I took over a hundred calls a day so, that's what, five hundred a week, let's say two thousand calls a month, and eight of those are listened to, so the odds were always good that I would fly by, since most calls are real transactional anyway. Sometimes people would call in, in tears because like, they just got this expensive phone and on their first day they dropped it and so it can't be replaced and they can't afford a new one, and like, T-Mobile isn't going to miss one free phone, so here, a free phone, and um, no you should not tell my supervisor what a great employee I am and definitely don't fill out the survey. Also: third-party dealers were notorious with ripping customers off, usually by promising that T-Mobile would credit them in some way. Third-party dealers aren't really part of T-Mobile; one sells the phone and the other provides the service. So their promises are always bullshit. Customers would call in, having been blatantly lied to about something, sometimes something that cost them hundreds of dollars, and our policy was to tell them to take it up with the dealer (who would tell them to call customer service). Stupid bullshit like this. I mean, I guess I'm sort of talking a lot about stealing from one company as some Robin Hood-esque protest, which is also stupid, something that is much more obvious to me now like almost twenty years later. I did get in trouble once because I was giving away bonus minutes (which back then were a big deal, since like, most people were on a 600-minute-per-month plan and overage costs were ludicrous) if customers would answer crossword puzzle questions. But one time, I asked this guy the answer, and he didn't get it, and I was like, sorry dude nice try and he was real upset about it, to the point where he wanted to talk to my supervisor. I did calm him down by just giving him bonus minutes but that call happened to be listened to live by my supervisor who, errrr wasn't real thrilled about that. But yeah: pet peeve, forcing your employees to adhere to scripts and call flows. Computers and prompts already fuckin do that. Utilize the human part of having a human being as the representative ffs credburn has a new favorite as of 23:32 on Aug 3, 2022 |
|
#
?
Aug 3, 2022 23:28
|
|
|
When I did social media customer service it was -- the client doesn't want you to sound like a bot, but here are the five pre-approved response templates we can use. Add your own flair, but do use the template because that's what we were given. Also our brand voice is "playful and irreverent," but we don't want to be seen as making light of any bad situation, but make jokes about this product becoming a meme, wait not like that, oh actually never mind we'll leave the positive interaction to our actual media team, you outsourced types can just handle the complaints.
|
|
#
?
Aug 4, 2022 19:10
|
|
|
Parasol Prophet posted:Also our brand voice is "playful and irreverent," but we don't want to be seen as making light of any bad situation, but make jokes about this product becoming a meme, wait not like that, oh actually never mind we'll leave the positive interaction to our actual media team, you outsourced types can just handle the complaints. This reminds me of a peeve: When I worked at a place that kept showing that "Fish video" which was an employee training video about being playful and enjoying yor work environment, with a bunch of scenes from that Pike's Place seafood shop where people toss fish around and make customers catch them and poo poo. But then like, they'd get irritated if you so much as flipped a spatula or did a little back-and-forth with customers and coworkers, like they wanted us to be fun, playful and memorable but also, uh, just serve the food and shut up. I know we showed you a video where everyone was dancing to pop songs as they helped customers, but don't. Yeah, on the video they do little tricks to catch people's eye. Don't do that. Just, take in the video and think about how much better you could be at your job if we let you.
|
|
#
?
Aug 4, 2022 19:39
|
|
|
Pet peeve: when people try to tell me the Swastika was originally an Indian symbol that meant luck until mean Mr. Hitler took it. The swastika shape has existed in every single culture that has ever learned to make shapes. Cultures that lived and died out without ever encountering the Western world left behind swastikas. edit for clarity: my peeve is not that I'm not allowed to use swastikas credburn has a new favorite as of 23:32 on Aug 5, 2022 |
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 22:24
|
|
|
wow I'm glad all those nazi cultures died out on their own
|
|
#
?
Aug 5, 2022 22:31
|
|
|
credburn posted:Pet peeve: when people try to tell me the Swastika was originally an Indian symbol that meant luck until mean Mr. Hitler took it. How often in everyday conversation does the subject of the swastika come up for you
|
|
#
?
Aug 6, 2022 00:19
|
|
|
Because for me it happens ALOT
|
|
#
?
Aug 6, 2022 00:19
|
|
|
He's a tattoo artist serving clients who are celebrating a wide range of different nongerman heritages.
|
|
#
?
Aug 6, 2022 00:25
|
|
|
oldpainless posted:Because for me it happens ALOT More like old heil-less.
|
|
#
?
Aug 6, 2022 08:16
|
|
|
SLEEP. SWEATING.
|
|
#
?
Aug 6, 2022 14:22
|
|
|
oldpainless posted:How often in everyday conversation does the subject of the swastika come up for you I was raised by bikers. Swastikas were on loving everything growing up, along with nonstop explanations as to how my dad's friends were not Nazis, they just like to gently caress with people and anyway it was originally a symbol that meant luck in India.
|
|
#
?
Aug 6, 2022 20:26
|
|
|
If I did not hear you and ask you to repeat yourself, restating yourself in a different way actually confuses me more. Chances are I heard what you said and missed a word or two, and now you're saying something with different words and cadence.
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2022 15:42
|
|
|
Brawnfire posted:If I did not hear you and ask you to repeat yourself, restating yourself in a different way actually confuses me more. Chances are I heard what you said and missed a word or two, and now you're saying something with different words and cadence. Opposite problem here: if my brain didn't process you right the first time then repeating the exact same words with the same intonation is unlikely to help.
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2022 16:44
|
|
|
Ah, poo poo! Seems we're at an impasse. *more loudly* I SAID APPARENTLY WE'LL HAVE TO AGREE TO DISAGREE
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2022 16:54
|
|
|
This one may be specific, but I wanted to get it off my chest: apartment complexes that have your email but NEVER CONSISTENTLY USE IT We currently live in an apartment complex that we know has our emails since that's how they get in contact with us when we need to talk to the property manager, but any other time it's like they just vanish. Oh, stuff still happens that we need to know about, but better hope that you check the bulletin board by the mailboxes, or hope that the flyer left in your door hasn't fallen off/gotten knocked off. Most frustrating example (though there are multiple): complex needed all the apartment doors repainted, so we received a flyer in the door telling us the date and the fact that for the doors to dry they need to be left WIDE OPEN for MULTIPLE HOURS. So gently caress you if you're not home/have pets/what-have-you. JUST EMAIL ME 
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 03:29
|
|
|
People who put their bag on the seat next to them on a crowded train, then have the temerity to be offended when you politely ask them to move their bag so you can sit in the seat. Motherfucker this is the 1735 from London to Oxford, there are literally twice as many passengers as there are seats!
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 06:41
|
|
|
The Perfect Element posted:People who put their bag on the seat next to them on a crowded train, then have the temerity to be offended when you politely ask them to move their bag so you can sit in the seat. Motherfucker this is the 1735 from London to Oxford, there are literally twice as many passengers as there are seats! This reminded me of a thing that seems completely insane to me and yet has happened more times than I can count: people attempting to just sit on a seat with a bag already on it. I've had my bag sitting next to me and had to quickly drag it out of the way as someone went to sit down so many times. Like they're either sitting down without looking, or they see the bag and deliberately try to sit there to force me to move it even though there are other seats available. Neither option makes sense to me, but I can't think of another. Even if there were no other seats available (or they really wanted that one for some reason), they could ask me to move it. There's just no reason this should have happened even once, let alone repeatedly.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 06:55
|
|
|
Tiggum quit taking up spots with your fuckin bag
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 08:23
|
|
|
Tiggum posted:This reminded me of a thing that seems completely insane to me and yet has happened more times than I can count: people attempting to just sit on a seat with a bag already on it. I've had my bag sitting next to me and had to quickly drag it out of the way as someone went to sit down so many times. Like they're either sitting down without looking, or they see the bag and deliberately try to sit there to force me to move it even though there are other seats available. Neither option makes sense to me, but I can't think of another. Even if there were no other seats available (or they really wanted that one for some reason), they could ask me to move it. There's just no reason this should have happened even once, let alone repeatedly. It's a passive aggressive response to you selfishly leaving your bag on the seat when it's obvious other people will want to sit there. You shouldn't leave your bag there, but they should probably react to it in a more mature way.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 09:15
|
|
|
credburn posted:Tiggum quit taking up spots with your fuckin bag The Perfect Element posted:It's a passive aggressive response to you selfishly leaving your bag on the seat when it's obvious other people will want to sit there. You shouldn't leave your bag there, but they should probably react to it in a more mature way.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 09:43
|
|
|
People who stand when there are empty seats. You're just in the way bud. Especially looking at you, students who stand in the bus' exit doors.
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 11:31
|
|
|
Tiggum posted:As I already mentioned, I only do it when there are plenty of empty seats. What's selfish about that? Why shouldn't I leave my bag in a place where it's in no one's way and is causing no problems for anyone?
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 12:15
|
|
|
How does this even happen? (Read from the bottom up.) I'd asked my dad to send this package to my former host sister while I was out of the country; he sent it a lot earlier than he needed to for her July 22 birthday. Or so I thought. Fucker took an impromptu mini-tour of Asia and Oceania before finally showing up a full month later. Normally it takes two weeks at most. It doesn't happen often, but it's happened before--at least the Taiwan sidetrip. 
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 14:34
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 23, 2024 19:38 |
|
|
The dog poo poo in my neighbor's yard has attracted this terrible type of biting fly we've never had in our yard before
|
|
#
?
Aug 8, 2022 18:27
|
|