r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

AITA for stealing a kids money after he gave it to me to buy him a vape?

quote:

22M. So, i was in front of a plaza when a kid comes up to me with 30 bucks and asks me if i�d go into a vape shop and buy him one, and he�d let me keep the change. Now, i�m addicted to nicotine as well and started from a young age so i know the dangers of underage nicotine use, and it�s not fun later in life.

I decided I would tell him i�d hop in my car to go get him one and drove away with the money. I took the money because i felt that if i didn�t he�d just ask someone else to buy him one until someone eventually did, and maybe it would serve as a lesson to 1. not vape, and 2. not trust strangers with your money.

So, AITA?

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:38

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# ? May 31, 2024 14:00

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for stealing a kids money after he gave it to me to buy him a vape?

oh yeah I'm always teaching people lessons like that, but I never get the credit I deserve

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:41

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for demanding my boyfriend buy me new bedsheets?

quote:

My boyfriend �Kevin� and I sleep in bunk beds. He sleeps in the top bunk; I sleep in the bottom bunk.

Yesterday, Kevin fell asleep while eating a big bowl of spaghetti in bed. Unfortunately, when he fell asleep, the contents of the bowl fell down onto the white sheets on my bed. He didn�t wake up for several hours, and once he did, it was too late: the sauce had already permanently stained my sheets and would not come out even after several washes.

Despite my annoyance (he�s done similar things in the past), I composed myself and calmly asked Kevin to buy my a new pair of sheets (with his own money). He started yelling at me that it was my own fault for not making my bed and that, if I had made my bed, the sauce would have fallen onto my dark comforter instead of my white sheets, and I wouldn�t have to worry about stains in the first place.

Furthermore, Kevin argued that despite the stains, I don�t need new sheets because I can just cover the stains up my making my bed with the comforter.

I still feel like he owes me new sheets since he destroyed my old ones, but at the same time I could probably keep my old ones a little longer since they�re still usable, just dirty looking. So, aita?

For clarification:

Kevin and I got bunk beds because when we used to share beds, he would always be eating in it and I couldn�t stand the crumbs. Eventually, I gave him an ultimatum: get separate beds or break up. He chose the separate beds. We decided on bunk beds instead of two separate beds to save space and also because I didn�t want him to accidentally roll onto my bed in the night and dirty it with his dirty clothes.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:45

Malcolm Excellent: May 20, 2007; Buglord

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for stealing a kids money after he gave it to me to buy him a vape?

This feels like a Bender type maneuver

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:45

gay frog chemicals: May 27, 2022; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for demanding my boyfriend buy me new bedsheets?

its her fault... for not making the bed. sure. at this point you get what you deserve for dating this bizzare creature you've found.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:49

Coca Koala: Nov 28, 2005; ongoing nowhere; College Slice

I can�t handle the thought of two adults sleeping in bunk beds because one of them refuses to stop eating spaghetti in bed. Like the shape of this thought just doesn�t fit in my brain.

What the gently caress.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:52

Hipster Occultist: Aug 16, 2008; _{He's an ancient, obscure god. You probably haven't heard of him.}

$20 says it's one of the fake stories, but if not I wanna meet the dude that pisses off his GF by eating spaghetti in the top bunk

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:55

gay frog chemicals: May 27, 2022; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Honestly bunk beds isn't the worst idea imagineable, some people have a hard time sharing a bed and bunk beds saves on space if you don't have a ton of room to spare.

Buying a bunk bed because the loving animal you live with refuses to stop eating in bed is just beyond any words i can manage to even come up with

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:56

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

I'm extremely amused at the general boobery of falling asleep eating a big bowl of spaghetti in your top bunk.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:56

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for demanding my boyfriend buy me new bedsheets?

why did you not just break up with this trash goblin

oh wait, i think I got some exclusive footage of them discussing moving in together

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leCMTfjCEFM

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:58

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for refusing to sit next to a co worker due to his smell and not denying the reason why when I was asked?

quote:

I 22F work an office job. I'm very friendly and I get along with everyone, I would personally say I'm friends with most of my co workers with the exception of Jay 31M. I don't have anything personal against him but I'm asthmatic and I have a VERY sensitive nose and for the lack of better words Jay stinks. It's not that he's not taking care of himself but the cologne he uses is absolutely horrendous in my opinion and he sweats a lot, so he always smells strongly of cologne, sweat and sometimes garlic since he often eats it raw in the lunch area.

I never said anything to him about it since it's not my place but I'll generally try to avoid sitting too close to him unless it's work related.

Recently Jay started to become a lot more friendly towards me, some co worker told me that he has a crush on me but I don't know if that's true. This resoluted in him trying to sit next to me during meeting, on lunch breaks and trying to hang around my cubicle whenever possible.

I tried to politely endure it at first but as the weather got hotter his smell got even worse to the point where I start to have gag reflexes when I'm around him for too long. Now whenever he sits next to me I just give him a polite smile, move away and make myself look busy, hoping he'll get the hint.

This week we had a particulary bad heat wave in my city, and like every week Jay again tried to sit next to me but this time I couldn't endure his smell for even a moment so I would just stand up and move.

Yesterday he confronted me about it saying he's hurt by my actions and asked me why I was acting that way towards him. When I gave him a vague answer he didn't believe me and got even closer to me, at this point I couldn't control my gag reflex and almost vomited on him. He looked hurt and asked me if I thought he stinked, I didn't answer and just told him that he's making me uncomfortable and asked him to please step away from me.

Today I'm off work but I got a text from another co worker that I deeply hurt Jay feelings and now he's super self conscious of his smell. I'm starting to feel bad and I don't know if I'm the rear end in a top hat in this situation, but at the same time I don't know what I could've done differently. AITA?

jay here is one smooth motherfucker. i wonder if he eats spaghetti in bed

# ? Aug 4, 2022 20:58

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I feel like you know what you're doing if you're just chomping down raw garlic at work

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:06

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

Sounds like Jay needed to be self conscious of how he smelled.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:13

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

HR said I can't carry a stake anymore, how else do you expect me to keep the vampires away?

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:14

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

on my lunch break, just crunchin into a bulb of garlic like it's an apple

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:17

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for demanding my boyfriend buy me new bedsheets?

This must be a gender flip prequel to the classic:

AITA for installing a lock on my bedroom door, and keeping it locked when I'm not there?

quote:

My wife has a nasty habit of biting her nails. And she's not super on top of keeping her hands washed.

I like to eat handfuls of shredded cheese as a snack.

My wife will take my bag of cheese out of the fridge and stick her unwashed hand into my cheese, immediately after taking her fingers out of her mouth.

That is loving disgusting IMO. Now the whole bag of cheese is ruined, and my snack is gone.

So I started buying her her own bags of cheese. I clearly labeled each bag with either her name or mine.

FF to the next morning, and she has my bag of cheese. Hers is still sitting in the fridge (opened, and contaminated by her unwashed hands). She didn't bother checking the labels. So now she has two bags of cheese, and I have 0.

Next step: I buy a mini fridge and put it in my bedroom. We have seperate bedrooms, so I figured I was solving the problem.

But NO. 3 days later, I get home from work and she's sitting on my bed, eating my bag of cheese. There was still plenty of cheese in the main fridge. This is not a money issue. I don't care if she eats 100 bags of cheese. I just want my cheese to be my cheese, so I know it hasn't had unwashed hands in it.

So I installed a deadbolt on my bedroom door, and I keep my room locked whenever I am not home. Now my cheese is safe. My wife still has plenty of cheese to eat. She just no longer has access to my loving cheese.

She says it shouldn't matter, since we kiss all the time. But I don't want to eat cheese that has someone else's stale saliva on it. No matter how much I love her, food safety is food safety. She is introducing germs into a fertile breeding ground, and I just can't get over that. I need my cheese to be clean.

So, AITA?

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:19

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Foo Diddley posted:

on my lunch break, just crunchin into a bulb of garlic like it's an apple

It's a real thing for some people

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmPVCKnkKWA

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:20

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for stealing a kids money after he gave it to me to buy him a vape?

just buy the kid the vape juice or don't what the hell is wrong with you. i think i would have been more understanding with narcing on them to the store. what the gently caress

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:20

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

kdrudy posted:

I'm extremely amused at the general boobery of falling asleep eating a big bowl of spaghetti in your top bunk.

It was just the latest buffoonery from Italian Elon Musk that finally drove Italian Grimes to italian divorce him.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:22

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Seth Pecksniff posted:

It's a real thing for some people

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmPVCKnkKWA

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:22

Involuntary Sparkle: Aug 12, 2004; Chemo-kitties can have �accidents� too!

Larry Parrish posted:

how much you want to bet the rare chronic illness is chronic lyme

That was my first thought too, but it's not:

quote:

I got h pylori which caused me to have low stomach acid and stop digesting my food. This led to b vitamin deficiencies (which absorb through the stomach lining). These vitamin deficiencies made my whole system breakdown. I became extremely sensitive to medicine and some foods. When I took the first dose of medicine for h pylori which is basically amoxicillin, I got a bad persistent headache and terrible nerve pain for 2 weeks so I stopped taking it. Similar reactions to anything that kills h pylori. Been slowly building up my strength with naturopaths so I don’t react so strongly. I agree it’s a rare complication but there is backing in papers here and there to support what’s happening to me. For instance a known metabolite of h pylori causes nerve pain so when u kill h pylori and the metabolites spill out it makes sense that someone would have nerve pain- although I agree the extent to which I have it is rare. I also have some rare genetic mutations in my CYP genes (have been genetically tested) which mean I don’t metabolize medicine as quickly as I should so I have always gotten bad side effects from medicine but never to this level. When I brought up some specific evidence her brain just kind of short circuits idk she won’t engage in specifics.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:27

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for demanding my boyfriend buy me new bedsheets?

If he regularly does this why isn't he sleeping on the bottom bunk? Being on the top bunk feels like you're just making sure its a bigger mess when whatever he is eating falls.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for refusing to sit next to a co worker due to his smell and not denying the reason why when I was asked?

so he always smells strongly of cologne, sweat and sometimes garlic since he often eats it raw in the lunch area.

I almost stopped right here I was laughing so hard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dnQwWbR9jk

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:28

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for excluding my cousin from photos and for humiliating her in front of the family?

quote:

I (M26) went to my little cousin�s (12) party yesterday. Many other cousins were also present. Almost by the end of the party, we (the older cousins) decided to hang out in the backyard.

�Jane� (F17), sister of the birthday boy, asked me to take a photo together. When we were going to do it, Lauren� (F27) got in, no problem there, but right after taking the picture she decided to charge us $50 each. Why? Because she thinks she is a big shot and a celebrity for having 1000 followers in her social media. Jane and I told her to flip off and Jane deleted the photo. We continued taking pictures with the other cousins without Lauren.

She then tried to claim that we would gain followers with her in the photos and when no one pay her attention, she tried to put everyone down by claiming we were jealous of her �fame�; I told her to get lost and she did, but she went to complain with to her mom and mine.

My aunt came out of the house and tried to scold me like I was 5 and went on a rant saying that I jealous of Lauren. I told her of what I should be jealous of? If something, I would be of �Mary� who actually makes money of her social media and gets products, I mean, who doesn�t want that? Or of �David�, who makes money out of posting thirst traps, not even him is charging us money. No one here is acting like we�re walking on water or putting people down because we feel important.

My aunt changed her tone and said that I humiliated Lauren and tried to kicked me out, but it wasn�t her house; I left anyway and the rest of my cousins followed.

My mother is pissed that I �ruined� my little cousin party, that I was too harsh on Lauren and wrong for excluding her from the photos, she saw them in my cousins� social medias and is sad. I agreed about my little cousin. I called him to apologize but he didn�t even notice when we left; he was busy playing video games with his friends.

Edit and more info:

Little cousin didn't notice this mess, everything is cool with him, thankfully.

According to mother and many cousins, Lauren has a good full-time job and is quite successful.

They (cousins) said that her attitude is not new, but she never took it this far. They said that she's probably the jealous one because many make money through differents social medias without having a "real" job. She has asked them for help and they have helped her, but she never applies anything they recommend.

This was probably ment for them and not me, but she target me because I skip these kind of events almost all the time and I don't have social media, so yeah, bloody "influencers", man.

Just Kardashian problems...

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:29

IOwnCalculus: Apr 2, 2003

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

That was my first thought too, but it's not:

quote:

naturopaths

I suspect this is what the GF has issue with. H. pylori infection is a very real thing but taking a partial course of antibiotics seems like a great way to ensure that poo poo is going to be loving you up for a very long time.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:33

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

Hughlander posted:

AITA for excluding my cousin from photos and for humiliating her in front of the family?

Just Kardashian problems...

This one seemed open and shut at first but as it went on you realise it's a whole family of (ugh) influencers so like

lol

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:36

Involuntary Sparkle: Aug 12, 2004; Chemo-kitties can have �accidents� too!

IOwnCalculus posted:

I suspect this is what the GF has issue with. H. pylori infection is a very real thing but taking a partial course of antibiotics seems like a great way to ensure that poo poo is going to be loving you up for a very long time.

Jesus, I somehow missed that word in the wall of text :cripes:

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:40

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

run on sentience posted:

I don't want to know... But I might need to know...

I have trouble finding posts on my phone but if you search the terms crab, sweat, cruise it should turn up. I'm shocked it's not in the list in the op.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 21:57

DTaeKim: Aug 16, 2009

Considering H. Pylori is a significant risk factor for gastric cancer, I'm concerned about the naturopathic remedies OP is taking.

Judging by his or her side effect complaints, I'm guessing metronidazole is wrecking OP hard.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 22:00

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for telling my brother's fiancee that the reason she couldn't get a degree was because of her choice to be a mom?

(from latin origins)

she not wrong but shes 100% racist and she wouldnt say that to anyone she wasnt trying to drive away from her brother.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 22:10

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Bedtime spaghetti man should get with the girl that spent all day every day laying in bed eating potato chips and getting plastered on cheap vodka

# ? Aug 4, 2022 22:49

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

Thanks for the crab sweat explanations, I do remember that story now.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 23:01

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Found crab juice:

MY (27f) husband (27m) of 6 months are on our first cruise. I thought we'd do activities and excursions but to him it's been a literal food orgy. Is this gluttony just normal cruise behavior or do I need to address this?

quote:

Hello from the Caribbean where it's lovely and gorgeous and the sun is shining and my husband's prime rib flatulence actually caused me to sleep on a chair by the pool last night.

So basically I didn't want to do a cruise, it seemed a little hemmed in and not really my thing but my husbands parents just got thier "diamond status" and offered to pay for our stay on the ship, we just had to pay airfare. I can handle a good deal. I actually got excited when I read about some of the excursions and ports.

First day on the ship my husband husband and I went to a buffet and he had the biggest salad I've ever seen with a measuring cup worth of blue cheese dressing and a slice of prime rib 2 inches think (which he ate everything, including the huge globs of fat) and 4-5 deserts. He passed out that night--I was hoping for some romance on our private balcony.

We stopped in a really neat island the next morning but he said he had a food hangover and couldn't get up so I did the beach ATV ride by myself. I got back and there were stacks of plates outside our cabin. I guess he not only ordered room service breakfast but also went to the buffet. i really wanted him to hang out with me in the gym and pool area but he said a major "cruise tradition" for him is to order a BLT and a milkshake and try to find the cheesiest movie he can find and relax. So I went to to the rock climbing wall, he watched "Snow Dogs." This was about 24 hours into a 5 day cruise and I was already sick of this.

Last night he had the same prime rib, salad and desert combo but added probably 30 snow crab legs with drawn butter as well. I was so grossed out. I went and played poker and he passed out. When I got to the room, it smelled like he was farting and sweating crab juice so I came up to sleep on a pool chair.

My husband is a very active and in shape guy and would never act like this at home, so I'm willing to just grit my teeth and get through this and enjoy myself as best I can. Or do I need of put a stop to this now? I don't want to ruin his vacation but obviously we had different expectations and nether of us addressed these before we left.

What should I do here?

Tl;dr: husband is in the middle of a literal food orgy on our cruise vacation. I feel left out and neglected because he's either always eating or recovering from eating. What should I do?

# ? Aug 4, 2022 23:26

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

I missed this last time I saw the crab juice/beef farts story, but I wonder how many times that dude's been on a cruise for him to have a "cruise tradition".

# ? Aug 4, 2022 23:32

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

I missed this last time I saw the crab juice/beef farts story, but I wonder how many times that dude's been on a cruise for him to have a "cruise tradition".

His parents have spent two and a half months at sea:

quote:

Guests are eligible for Gold membership in the Crown & Anchor Society after one completed cruise. After 30 completed cruise points, they are eligible to become Platinum members. After 55 completed cruise points, they are eligible to become Emerald members. After 80 completed cruise points, they are eligible to become Diamond members. After 175 completed cruise points they are eligible to become Diamond Plus members. And those who have 700 or more completed cruise points are eligible to become Pinnacle Club members.

# ? Aug 4, 2022 23:55

Goon Boots: Feb 2, 2020

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for demanding my boyfriend buy me new bedsheets?

come on, you can't fault this guy for enjoying bedsghetti

who doesn't like bedsghetii?

# ? Aug 5, 2022 00:03

Solenna: Jun 5, 2003; I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

AITA for demanding my fiancée stop reaching our kids bad manners [UPDATE]

quote:

Hello (again). I’m hoping so follow all the rules so this doesn’t get deleted or anything but I wanted to post a quick update because I got a big fat reality check yesterday.

I admit that at first I was annoyed and defensive that everyone was ganging up on me and saying I was racist/an absent parent/ etc.

However, surprisingly enough, it was the comments who were trying to defend me and somewhat agreeing with me that ended up changing my mind. At first I was mainly focusing on the 2-3 comments in my defense but as I read more of them I started to realize that they WERE sounding racist/disrespectful and then I realized the rest of you were right, and that is what I sounded like in my post.

There were a few comments saying something like “In America that is not normal” but we are not in America and hearing people say that to me while defending me was shocking to say the least. I don’t want to be one of those people who goes around telling people that they need to speak a certain language or do a certain thing because of where they happen to be.

I showed my wife the post and she saw a lot of your disrespectful comments agreeing with me calling her way of eating unhygienic and she said they sounded like me which made me realize I was an rear end in a top hat.

For those asking if I had never seen my wife eat like that: no i hadn’t and I asked her why she never did even though she said i she grew up doing it. She told me how a few months into our relationship I had made a comment about someone in a film being “poor and weird” for eating food with their hands. I do remember having said this and it is something that I should not have said. She said that is why she didn’t eat like that in front of me but she thought I wouldn’t mind if our kids did, as they are toddlers and toddlers regularly eat with their hands.

I am doing a lot of self reflection and have apologized deeply to my wife. She said she needs some time to think things through after seeing the post and my comments as well as everyone’s comments, which I fully respect.

Thanks everyone for your insight.

I laugh every time a poster is like "the people who agreed with me were so loving lovely that's what made me realize I was wrong"

# ? Aug 5, 2022 00:03

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Solenna posted:

AITA for demanding my fiancée stop reaching our kids bad manners [UPDATE]

I laugh every time a poster is like "the people who agreed with me were so loving lovely that's what made me realize I was wrong"

Redditors - a force for good in spite of themselves!

# ? Aug 5, 2022 00:10

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Motronic posted:

AITA for installing a lock on my bedroom door, and keeping it locked when I'm not there?

This one makes me want to vomit, ever heard of baby bels or cheese sticks you two cheese goblins ?

# ? Aug 5, 2022 00:26

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

quantumwell posted:

This one makes me want to vomit, ever heard of baby bels or cheese sticks you two cheese goblins ?

That's not the same as shredded cheese at all. Neither of those is shredded! :v:

# ? Aug 5, 2022 00:46

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# ? May 31, 2024 14:00

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

The bedsghetti thing has me confused. My kids have bunk beds and the upper bunk is perfectly aligned over top of the bottom one. If something falls or is dropped from the top bunk it falls on the floor, just like something that falls from the bottom bunk. It doesn't somehow dive underneath the top bunk on its way down unless it were to ricochet off something or be purposefully cast under the bunk.

Maybe they have some kind of weird offset bunk beds? In that case, sloppy food guy needs to take the bottom one. Or better yet, she needs to leave him, because requiring separate beds because your partner is so gross that you're afraid you'll accidentally touch his filthiness doesn't strike me as a way you might want to spend your life.

# ? Aug 5, 2022 01:04

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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