r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Solenna: Jun 5, 2003; I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

AITA for taking in my niece despite my husbands complaints even though we are childfree?

quote:

25f and 27m. Niece is 3 years old.

My sister asked me if we would take her daughter since she had to go out of town for a surgical procedure, and wouldn’t be able to care for her daughter while she recovers.

I ran this by my husband who immediately said no and shook his head. I said it was my niece, and that just because we weren’t really fans of having kids ourselves doesnt mean we can’t do a favor for family. It ended in an argument but I ended up taking her anyways.

He refuses to do anything with her (this isn’t the first time they’ve met, he’s just never really interacted with her) which I don’t expect him to, but when I brought up that he could have a better attitude about this he just said that I shouldn’t have brought a kid into our home.

He also went on a rant that because of this I’m probably going to change my mind about having kids, and he won’t put up with that. Said like that he will divorce me if I even suggest it. My niece hasn’t even been much of a problem, in fact she’s usually quiet unless she’s hungry or tired. Yes she gets into stuff and makes messes but I assume that’s pretty standard toddler behavior.

I don’t understand why he’s so angry, since it’s not like he’s having to do anything.

Edit: I should add that she’ll only be here for about a week and a half, maybe longer if my sister has complications but we don’t know yet. Also, I told him he should have a better attitude towards her cause I read that kids can tell when you don’t like them, and being away from her mom is already hard enough for her.

AITA?

# ? Aug 9, 2022 16:19

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# ? May 30, 2024 21:22

Ayn Marx: Dec 21, 2012

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not wearing contacts on a double date?

wtf what an insane story lol

# ? Aug 9, 2022 16:21

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

Ayn Marx posted:

wtf what an insane story lol

"I wore special contacts because my sister thought it would take attention away from her entire senior year" is some amazing poo poo on the sisters part

# ? Aug 9, 2022 16:24

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Yeah that part was like... You dictated your sister's appearance for a loving year because you didn't feel special

Because of eye colors

What if she'd had vitiligo

# ? Aug 9, 2022 16:29

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Solenna posted:

AITA for taking in my niece despite my husbands complaints even though we are childfree?

Child free means NO CHILDREN will EVER set foot in MY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

# ? Aug 9, 2022 16:32

BlancoNino: Apr 26, 2010

limp_cheese posted:

That sister loving sucks. 2 different color eyes is pretty awesome and she should not be ashamed of it.

Then again I say that as someone who has a fake eye that is a little off from the real one and I had it made that way. It would be different if I was vorn that way. I also haven't built up the courage to have something completely different made. I was thinking of one blue and one pink eye.

You could have a blood-shot eye made and call it your "party eye."

# ? Aug 9, 2022 16:39

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

Brawnfire posted:

What if she'd had vitiligo

Presumably her sister would've demanded she be locked up in the basement like Sloth from The Goonies

# ? Aug 9, 2022 16:40

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

My sibling's, ah, condition is getting them a lot of attention and I'm not one to stand around and be outdone! What's the best way to self-inflict iodine deficiency?

# ? Aug 9, 2022 17:23

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

Solenna posted:

AITA for taking in my niece despite my husbands complaints even though we are childfree?

Imagine actually hating kids this much, it must be loving exhausting.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 17:24

JetSetGo: Jan 1, 2011; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Solenna posted:

AITA for taking in my niece despite my husbands complaints even though we are childfree?

Only one child is really allowed in that house and it's the husband.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 17:30

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Mx. posted:

AITA for buying a fire blanket for our new house?

just think of how many washing machines you could have bought for �9, you fool, you absolute buffoon

9 quid is, like $11 at the moment. You'd spend more on a pizza. :psyduck:

# ? Aug 9, 2022 17:37

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

feedmegin posted:

9 quid is, like $11 at the moment. You'd spend more on a pizza.

Food?! How the hell are we supposed to afford our household appliances if you're prioritizing things like food?

# ? Aug 9, 2022 17:44

EvilJoven: Mar 18, 2005; NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?; Fun Shoe

There's 'i don't want kids' and 'I subscribe to r/childfree' and I'd bet good money he's the latter.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 17:47

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

BlancoNino posted:

You could have a blood-shot eye made and call it your "party eye."

Oh hey its that Perry Mason novel.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 18:10

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for how I respond to people commenting on my postpartum weight?

quote:

This is pretty light hearted compared to some posts on here (at least I think so), but I've been called an rear end so I figured I'd ask some internet strangers.

Relevant background: I (26f) just had my third and last child two weeks ago. With all three of my pregnancies I had what is called Hyperemesis gravidarum, basically I couldn't even keep liquids down most days. I would vomit anywhere from three to seven times a day. I was constantly nauseous, had to be monitored closely, and spent a lot of time hooked up to IV fluids. With my last pregnancy I became hypoglycemic and it caused more issues. The worst part about it is the nausea and vomiting didn't take my hunger away. So I was basically hungry for ten months, taking three different antinausea medications just to function, still vomiting all the time, and miserable. I only gained 12lbs my entire pregnancy.

Now today: I'm two weeks postpartum, I had my first check-up one week postpartum and I was already at my pre-pregnancy weight. People who were around me my entire pregnancy (family, coworkers, some friends, etc) have made similar comments about how "lucky" I am to bounce back so quickly, how "grateful" I must be to not have to "work off" the baby weight, how they wish they were as "blessed" as me. I went through the same comments with my other two pregnancies but I kind of had enough at this point.. so I simply respond with "Yeah, I would have rather been able to eat the last ten months" or "I wouldn't call involuntary starvation blessed" and "I'm more grateful that I can actually consume things now". Each time I respond with this, it's like the person remembers the absolute hell I've gone through and they either get quiet, or agree.

Now to be clear, when strangers say something about how "great" I look, I simply thank them and continue on my way. But for the people that witnessed me bolting to the bathroom, vomiting on the sidewalk or trashcan, staring longingly at food that I'm too sick to consume, or could see the physical toll that the pregnancy took on me make the comments.. I simply remind them that I'm not "lucky". I was literally starving and dehydrated to the point of hospitalization at times. My mom thinks I'm justified and that the comments from others are insensitive. My grandma and some friends of mine think they're unnecessary and that my peers are simply complimenting me and I'm being TA for making them feel bad.

So I ask you, AITA for reminding people that I'm not lucky, blessed, or grateful for my lack of baby weight?

quote:

NTA. I've been overweight my whole life and people feel entitled to comment about my body. It's none of their business and I don't put up with it. A year ago I was diagnosed with cancer and have gone through chemo and a stem cell transplant. The number of people who have congratulated me on losing weight due to treatment (aka malnutrition) is astounding. People really can't help themselves for some reason, and I always push back on it. Most recently someone told me she wished she could lose weight like I have, so I told her I hope she gets cancer so she can do so.

god drat

# ? Aug 9, 2022 18:26

Solkanar512: Dec 28, 2006; by the sex ghost

AITA for refusing to let my brother meet my daughter after he disrespected our parents his entire life?

quote:

For context: My brother �Nicholas� (22M) and I (34M) are not close at all. He moved from our house (where we lived with our parents) when he was 17 because his �lifestyle� was very incompatible with ours. He was a real trouble maker and a constant pain in the rear end for all of us, especially my mom. In contrast to our conservative background, he was always VERY rebellious. He came out of the closet as �bisexual� and he was also a �crossdresser� on his free time, smoked weed and played drums in a lovely punk band. Our parents didn�t approve any of that of course. Regardless, we still loved him, they didn�t abuse him in any way. I even offered economical support when he moved out. 3 years ago I moved out too, and now I live with my wife (30F) and a daughter of my own.

Our dad passed away 2 years ago and Nicholas didn�t attend the funeral. Once again, disrespecting our father, even after he passed away. I know he visited my mother a week later. As far as I know, they didn�t remain close at all.A year later my mother sadly passed away too. Nicholas did come for the funeral service, but when he requested if he could keep one of my mother�s favourite dresses we had a huge discussion. I�m not homophobic, but the fact that he was asking for my mother clothes, probably to wear it himself, bugged me the wrong way. He�s slim but also incredibly tall (6�4), so he would ruin the dress anyway. My aunt told me he was asking for my mother's wedding ring too, behind my back. That was the last time we spoke until now.

Long story short: My daughter was born in January. Nicholas called me last month, and he expressed interest in meeting her. He told me he was in town for a week and that he was available to meet anywhere, anytime. I said it was not the right moment for us, and that we would need time. He said �Sure, no problem�, but he made sure to let me know he was hurted cause I heard some crocodile tears but honestly, I don�t think he cared that much either.I must admit I�m still angry at him for the way he treated our parents, his entire life. I was the one that saw how he broke their hearts over and over , and added nothing but stress on their lives for their last couple of years. Now, why does he want a relationship with my family if he�s going to bring the same chaos? I AM protecting my family, once again.

My wife and IL�s told me I was being an rear end in a top hat, they called me �petty� and �bitter� to be precise. My wife asked me for Nichola�s number but honestly, I don�t think that�s her decision to make on her own. I feel like everyone is acting like I�m being petty and selfish for protecting my family from a person that disrespected our parents even after they died!! I feel like my wife is brushing off my decision and my feelings cause they don�t truly understand the background story.

I love my brother but I�m protecting my daughter from a ticking bomb, Nicholas will hurt her, sooner or later. I want to get some unbiased opinions. AITA?

Would it shock anyone here to find out that this OP is really mad at everyone calling him a bigot?

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:01

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

The most common response when people hear I lost 50 pounds is "that's great, what's your plan for the rest" which kinda makes me want to start throwing things. For me it was some severe depression and stress and my appetite just died. I didn't even realize I was losing weight, I honestly thought my clothes were stretching on top of every other problem.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:01

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Solkanar512 posted:

AITA for refusing to let my brother meet my daughter after he disrespected our parents his entire life?

Would it shock anyone here to find out that this OP is really mad at everyone calling him a bigot?

I figured it out the first time a word other than the brother's name was in quotes, before even knowing exactly where it was going

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:07

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Captain Hygiene posted:

I figured it out the first time a word other than the brother's name was in quotes, before even knowing exactly where it was going

i got as far as "disrespect" in the title

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:12

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Bruceski posted:

The most common response when people hear I lost 50 pounds is "that's great, what's your plan for the rest"

"I'm using a significant fraction of it for life functions!"

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:24

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Say "here it is!" and then walk away

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:25

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for "making" my boyfriend eat fast food for a week?

quote:

My boyfriend grew up in a house that valued outdated gender norms. The women were always responsible for cooking and cleaning, so he didn't learn how to do any of that for most of his life. That is, until he moved in with me after college.

He's been good about a few things. He doesn't mind helping with dishes or handling the laundry, but the one thing I can't seem to get him to do is learn how to cook. The only thing he can do is microwave frozen meals. I've been trying to teach him the basics, but it seems like it goes through one ear and just comes out the other. He still can't turn on the oven or use the stove without help. The toaster is too complicated for him to use he claims. Doesn't know how to boil eggs, cook rice, or even how to measure out ingredients using cups. I just don't understand why he can't grasp this but is fine with other things.

Here's the part where I may be an rear end in a top hat. I went on a trip two weeks ago for work. I'm in charge of buying groceries (we have separate accounts) and I realized how expensive his frozen meals actually are. Three to four dollars for each. I said screw it and bought the easiest ingredients I could find for a lot cheaper for him to cook on his own. He doesn't like leftovers, so me cooking ahead for him was out. Before I left, I sat him down once again and gave him a very long lesson on using the oven, toaster, and stove, as well as how to boil/scramble eggs, toast a piece of toast, boil rice/noodles, and heat up pasta sauce. I also taught him how to pan fry things like onions and other veggies, and how to tell when they were ready. In case he didn't want to cook both lunch and dinner, I also bought things to make salads and fixings for sandwiches.

I come back a week later, and he is angry! He claims I practically left him to starve, and how I know he has trouble cooking. I retaliate, saying I showed him what to do, and I get a whole range of excuses. "Setting the oven/stove temp is too complicated" "He cut his finger chopping onions and couldn't chop any until his cut healed" "He only likes the salad kits so everything is balanced"

Apparently he only ate sandwiches, canned goods, and fast food for a week. He thinks I'm a major rear end in a top hat for not telling him I'm not buying his frozen meals, and leaving him alone to fend for himself. On one hand, I do think it was lovely of me not to tell him I didn't buy his meals, and as someone who grew up in a home pretty much only boiled hotdogs and veggies, and only properly learned how to cook after moving, out I do feel for him, but at the same time, after a few months of not getting the simplest concepts, I'm left feeling partially justified in my actions. So Reddit, AITA?

lmao "using a measuring cup is too haaaaaaard" :qq:

locked of course, because too many posters called the pathetic babyman a pathetic babyman

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:27

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4adVX7igR8c

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:28

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for how I respond to people commenting on my postpartum weight?

god drat

Maybe just don't loving say anything about it. Unless you are personally aware of someone trying to lose weight or whatever and know they would be open to the compliment, just shut the gently caress up. Props to the commenter with cancer. I never had the guts to tell my coworkers that complimented me on weight loss that my one weird trick was anorexia. Just starve yourself! Stand in the kitchen looking in the cupboard and cry! Make your favorite food and then throw it away because you can't stand to eat it! Couldn't be easier.

I was lucky in that mine was rooted in physiological problems not psychological, so once that had improved it didn't take me too long to get back to normal-ish.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:29

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Bruceski posted:

The most common response when people hear I lost 50 pounds is "that's great, what's your plan for the rest" which kinda makes me want to start throwing things.

I dealt with losing like what, maybe 20 lbs? and it was due to finally getting help with a lifelong-ish eating disorder. I�m a fat lady, always have been, so the change is apparently noticeable. I didn�t see any difference, but others did. I still don�t.

I thankfully didn�t have too many people ask what I did, but I gave up being tongue tied and deeply frustrated with the intrusion and went �thanks it�s an eating disorder.� No follow up questions, just a lot of stares.

Only with my mother did I explain �I got psychological help and was diagnosed with ED-NOS*� and then, of course, she gets me at my own game and goes �oh, well of course, welcome to the family�.

*now called UFED, like super recently

# ? Aug 9, 2022 19:49

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for "making" my boyfriend eat fast food for a week?

lmao "using a measuring cup is too haaaaaaard"

locked of course, because too many posters called the pathetic babyman a pathetic babyman

One thing thing I realized when learning how to cook is that there's no such thing as learning how to cook. It's more rudamentary than that.Turn on a hot thing and put your food on or in the the hot thing. Congratulations, you have something you can eat. You don't need lessons, you just need permission.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 20:16

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

AKA Pseudonym posted:

One thing thing I realized when learning how to cook is that there's no such thing as learning how to cook. It's more rudamentary than that.Turn on a hot thing and put your food on or in the the hot thing. Congratulations, you have something you can eat. You don't need lessons, you just need permission.

Yeah, I just don't understand folks who can't/won't get to that basic level. I knew someone like that, heating up a can of soup was the extent of his abilities. He used the oven for storing random stuff because he literally did not know how to use it. Great guy, but just incredibly sheltered in that area.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 20:26

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Solenna posted:

AITA for taking in my niece despite my husbands complaints even though we are childfree?

I will never understand these weirdos who seem to actively hate children.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 20:26

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

The_Franz posted:

I will never understand these weirdos who seem to actively hate children.

She should take him up on the divorce threat, guy sounds like a real arsehole.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 20:35

Alchenar: Apr 9, 2008

Ethiser posted:

I can�t imagine a response to someone having heterochromia beyond �That�s neat�, much less something on the level of accusing them of faking it.

It's a very groovy mutation

# ? Aug 9, 2022 20:44

Irisi: Feb 18, 2009

Captain Hygiene posted:

Yeah, I just don't understand folks who can't/won't get to that basic level. I knew someone like that, heating up a can of soup was the extent of his abilities. He used the oven for storing random stuff because he literally did not know how to use it. Great guy, but just incredibly sheltered in that area.

Ah, the ol' "I use the oven to store things" move. All well and good until you are poorly and a relative comes over to help out, turns the oven on to pre-heat without checking inside, and melts three plastic chopping boards all over a baking tray and rack.

The plastic did melt together into very pretty swirling colours, and I did clean it up and replace things!

# ? Aug 9, 2022 20:52

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Ethiser posted:

I can’t imagine a response to someone having heterochromia beyond “That’s neat”, much less something on the level of accusing them of faking it.

I had a friend with heterochromia and I didn't know for years because one eye was brown and the other was like, dark hazel. When I finally saw it, he caught me staring and said "yeah they're different" and gave me a bit of friendly grief for not having noticed earlier.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 21:02

gay frog chemicals: May 27, 2022; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I mean it's not that hard to understand hating children, they're stupid and they make messes and don't have empathy for other people and if you don't actively take care of them then they die and you go to prison. The weird thing is the people who make it a big part of their personality and freak out about it like that.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 21:05

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Captain Hygiene posted:

Yeah, I just don't understand folks who can't/won't get to that basic level. I knew someone like that, heating up a can of soup was the extent of his abilities. He used the oven for storing random stuff because he literally did not know how to use it. Great guy, but just incredibly sheltered in that area.

It's 100% proud ignorance.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 21:20

CitizenKain: May 27, 2001; That was Gary Cooper, asshole.; Nap Ghost

I want to know how homeboy was defeated by toast.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 21:22

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

CitizenKain posted:

I want to know how homeboy was defeated by toast.

The toaster has so many buttons, it's really confusing

# ? Aug 9, 2022 21:25

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

CitizenKain posted:

I want to know how homeboy was defeated by toast.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 21:25

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

CitizenKain posted:

I want to know how homeboy was defeated by toast.

that one's actually understandable, OP says:

OP posted:

The toaster I can sort of see. You have to manually turn the dial to the temp you want and then push it down. I usually have it set to high for my bagels. I still think it's ridiculous though.

sounds pretty tricky!

# ? Aug 9, 2022 21:31

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

gay frog chemicals posted:

I mean it's not that hard to understand hating children, they're stupid and they make messes and don't have empathy for other people and if you don't actively take care of them then they die and you go to prison.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 21:33

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# ? May 30, 2024 21:22

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

Ethiser posted:

I can’t imagine a response to someone having heterochromia beyond “That’s neat”, much less something on the level of accusing them of faking it.

Obviously it's not the same as a sibling, but my dog has 1.5 brown eyes and 0.5 white eyes.
When I first knew him, yeah, his half white eye was bright and startling, but after a few months, it just looked completely normal to me.
I do not see his half-white eye as anything but ordinary anymore, it's just his (super-cute, adorable lil) eye to me.
That this sister kept hyperfocussing on her sister's mildly different eye color for over a decade suggests that the sister is an absolute lunatic.

# ? Aug 9, 2022 21:38

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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