What's the secret to actual good homemade pizza?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What's the secret to actual good homemade pizza?

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Chrpno posted:

The difference between home food and restaurant food is that restaurant food always has a poo poo load more sugar and fat in it. Like a huge amount that you'd never dare put in yourself.

I make a pretty good piz crust with beer and sugar in it, puffs up nicely.

This is not the case for pizza dough.

The secret is a long, overnight proof in a cold fridge, and a high hydration dough.

Pizza places are not adding sugar and butter to their dough unless it's some abomination dessert pizza.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 06:33

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 23:00

Clowner: Dec 13, 2006; Further in

A little bit of honey in the dough mix

Seriously I used to work at a pretty good pizzeria and they did this there

# ? Aug 13, 2022 08:16

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

bigperm posted:

The secret is to use diced tomatoes out of the can for the sauce and cut up string cheese for the cheese and ~~canned~~ cream of mushrooms for the mushrooms.

Ftfy

# ? Aug 13, 2022 08:20

Charles Bukowski: Aug 26, 2003; Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner; Grimey Drawer

Don't cook your tomatoes. 00 flour. An oven hotter than you have in your residential home.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 08:27

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

It sounds like you’ve got the basics down. You might just need some simple modifiers to get your pizzas to the next level.

Mozzarella doesn’t have “tang” or any flavor for the most part. Mozzarella adds texture and creaminess but no flavor. Generously sprinkle some grated pecorino Romano on your pizza before you put it in the oven. If you’re still not happy, lose the mozzarella altogether and use ricotta instead. Some of the best pizzas I’ve had only used ricotta.

If you’re still not happy, get rid of the ricotta and just use pecorino Romano with some minced garlic, thin sliced tomatoes, and fresh basil. Drizzle on a little olive oil when you’re done. Simple old school pizza.

If you think your crust lacks flavor, brush the edges with olive oil, minced garlic, salt, more grated pecorino Romano if you like. If you’re using ricotta as your cheese, it’s a good idea to stir in the garlic, salt, pecorino Romano to it as well.

No matter what pizza sauce I use, after I spoon it onto the dough I always add a few shakes of crushed red pepper and dry basil.

I usually skip pepperoni and go to a more interesting deli meat like soppressata or capocollo. Might be hard to find in some areas.

Hope this helps. Here’s some of my pizzas:

Good tips, thanks a lot. Also what the hell is 00 flour.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 12:48

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Peggy Edson posted:

Good tips, thanks a lot. Also what the hell is 00 flour.

it's a fine grade of imported high gluten italian flour. Much like the pure mountain spring water, it's actually highly unnecessary, and it's probably less fresh because it's imported from italy. Just use good high gluten bread flour from the grocery store

poverty goat fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Aug 13, 2022

# ? Aug 13, 2022 13:05

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

You need only a little bit of sugar/honey for the yeast

# ? Aug 13, 2022 13:44

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Just buy from a local place it's honestly going to be better, cheaper, and easier

# ? Aug 13, 2022 14:39

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Colonel Cancer posted:

You need only a little bit of sugar/honey for the yeast

you absolutely do not, yeast can use the flour by itself. It takes a little longer, but this is where the flavor comes from. Adding sugar skips the flavor development to rise asap.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 14:47

Bluemillion: Aug 18, 2008; I got your dispensers
right here

Peggy Edson posted:

Good tips, thanks a lot. Also what the hell is 00 flour.

A baker on her majesty's secret service.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 14:59

The Moon Monster: Dec 30, 2005

Are you using yeast from an envelope? That poo poo straight up doesn't work, in my experience.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 15:03

Gambit from the X-Men: May 12, 2001; a war boy standing alone in the desert blasting his mouth with cum from a dildo

With a regular oven, I load my stone on the bottom rack then toss some empty pans on a rack one slot above it to create a sort of false ceiling and set it to 550 about 45 minutes before I want to put the pizzas in. This gets the stone to about 600 based on an infrared thermometer.

Right before I toss the toppings on, I put the stone on the second highest rack and turn the broiler on. It's not pizza oven hot, but it basically works out to cook a pizza in seven or eight minutes.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 15:32

AHH F/UGH: May 25, 2002

the secret is giving up and ordering domino's

# ? Aug 13, 2022 15:33

pnumoman: Sep 26, 2008; I never get the last word, and it makes me very sad.

Make sure you're preheating your stone enough, it takes quite a while to really get that sucker hot enough.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 15:46

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

pnumoman posted:

Make sure you're preheating your stone enough, it takes quite a while to really get that sucker hot enough.

My oven already really needs half an hour longer than it says to really be ready to go at 550. With a pizza stone I try to give it a good hour.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 15:54

ELTON JOHN: Feb 17, 2014

ramps

a lot of ramps

# ? Aug 13, 2022 16:02

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

the secret is getting absolutely loving trashed

# ? Aug 13, 2022 16:09

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

I'd say there are a few things to keep in mind for making really good pizza at home

1. Good ingredients for the dough. You'll want to use a 00 refined flour and diastatic malt for best results
2. Patience. Let your dough do it's initial rise (for an hour or so), then keep it in the fridge for at least a day to let it develop. When you're ready to bake, take it out of the fridge and let the dough warm up to room temperature before baking
3. Make sure your oven or grill is HOT and use a pizza stone or steel. Make sure the stone/steel is properly pre-heated and clean too!
4. Don't go nuts on the toppings. Use less sauce and cheese than you think you'll need.
5. Halfway through the baking process rotate your pizza 180 degrees to ensure the crust bakes evenly

I'd also recommend buying "The Pizza Bible" by Tony Gemignani

# ? Aug 13, 2022 16:20

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

just order dominos op

# ? Aug 13, 2022 16:30

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Dec 28, 2007; Kiss this and hang

We live in the NE where you can get pizza dough for super cheap outta the cold case. I oil up a sheet pan, stretch out the cold dough to roughly rectangle shape then slap it down, cover it with another sheet pan then let it rise for an hour. After that, you work the dough outward to the edges. The oil makes it super slippy, so you may need to work it a little then leave it for 15 mins then come back. Rinse/repeat til it's how you want it. Then let it rest while you heat the oven to 450. Now I'm about to get controversial. I really like RAGU's pizza sauce and it's like 1.75 for a jar. Prick the dough with a fork all over to keep the bubbles under control, top with sauce and your choice of toppings. Shredded whole milk mozz, mushrooms and pepperoni is the choice around here. Pop it the hot oven for about 20 mins and until it looks nice and done.

The crust comes out incredible. do not skip oiling the pan because it helps cook underneath to make it golden and delicious.

All you people saying to get a pre-cooked crust are awful humans and you should feel bad.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 16:30

Red Fructidor: Jan 8, 2004

Good homemade pizza is the Kobayashi Maru of home cooking.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 17:07

2nd Amendment: Jun 9, 2022; by Pragmatica

The trick is the water. If you have to cross a tunnel to reach civilization: no good pizza. If you are above 40th st: no good pizza. It's just science.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 17:28

Deep Glove Bruno: Sep 4, 2015; yung swamp thang

i don't think anyone in the thread has mentioned getting actual mozzarella, like the fresh stuff in water. it's way better and waaaaaay different from dried rubber block/shred mozzarella. but i dunno if that's hard in the states, it's like 35p a ball in the UK

# ? Aug 13, 2022 18:02

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Eating your poo poo leftovers are OK in my book if you can take the heat.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 18:05

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

English muffins op

# ? Aug 13, 2022 18:52

FunkyAl: Mar 28, 2010; Your vitals soar.

Poohs Packin posted:

This is not the case for pizza dough.

The secret is a long, overnight proof in a cold fridge, and a high hydration dough.

Pizza places are not adding sugar and butter to their dough unless it's some abomination dessert pizza.

I worked at a late night place that added a good amount of brown sugar.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 19:05

interwhat: Jul 23, 2005; it's kickin in dude

Don't suck at making homemade pizza, maybe?

# ? Aug 13, 2022 19:15

2nd Amendment: Jun 9, 2022; by Pragmatica

people talk about hot ovens but the real trick is low and slow. make your pizza in a smoker, 200F maximum. Gotta relax that collagen to release the flavor.

You also have to do something to the dough but we can't use that word anymore. So good pizza will forever be out of reach.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 19:18

Lamebot: Sep 8, 2005; ロボ顔菌～♡

Take up living inside a pizzeria.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 19:21

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

2nd Amendment posted:

people talk about hot ovens but the real trick is low and slow. make your pizza in a smoker, 200F maximum. Gotta relax that collagen to release the flavor.

You also have to do something to the dough but we can't use that word anymore. So good pizza will forever be out of reach.

You have to gently caress the dough? :confused:

# ? Aug 13, 2022 19:25

2nd Amendment: Jun 9, 2022; by Pragmatica

You have to neurodivergent the dough.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 19:27

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Tuggin my dough rn

# ? Aug 13, 2022 19:31

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

Edmund Sparkler posted:

You have to gently caress the dough?

You do what you have to do when you're out of salt.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 19:31

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Handle with Caution; Nap Ghost

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

You do what you have to do when you're out of salt.

you gently caress the salt? ouch

# ? Aug 13, 2022 19:37

im_sorry: Jan 15, 2006; (9999); Ultra Carp

I generally make pizza dough with the standard flour, sugar, salt, oil, water and yeast recipe I learned from my time at Domino's in the 90s, but I find that if you add a small amount (like a teaspoon) of lemon juice or vinegar to the dough before you mix it, it tastes awesome.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 21:46

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

I. M. Gei posted:

1. Make a good pizza dough yourself. Don't use store-bought dough.
2. Make a good sauce. I do a dressed-up version of Kenji's New York-style sauce from Serious Eats and I like it a lot.
3. Use good cheese. Sharp provolone is a pro-tier add and so is parmesan. For a good four-cheese pizza, use those two cheeses plus (whole) mozzarella and a little bit of sharp cheddar. Pecorino romano is also good.
4. Bake it on a steel if you're using an electric oven, or on a stone if you're using a grill. Grilled pizza is glorious.

these are good tips, though i don't know that homemade sauce is that crucial. a decent store marinara will work fine too.

use low-moisture mozzarella, and don't buy pre-shredded because it usually has extra stuff in it that won't cook right. if your local deli will shred it for you in front of you, that's fine.

if you're using a regular household oven, you probably cap out at a fairly low temp like 500 F, so you're gonna want a thin crust because the cheese will burn before the a thick crust is done cooking. also don't overdo it with toppings because if there's too many or they're too moist they'll need longer to cook than the cheese as well.

dice up a few cloves of fresh garlic and spread it on the pizza before it goes in the oven. often i just toss this into the bowl with the shredded cheese and mix it in so it gets a good spread. the fresh roasted garlic is game changing (unless you don't like garlic i guess).

make sure you preheat the steel at least 30 minutes at max temperature before putting the pizza in. also, i know some people cook directly on the steel/stone, but i use a layer of parchment and it comes out fine and is easier to clean up.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 22:00

2nd Amendment: Jun 9, 2022; by Pragmatica

I feel like 90% of pizza sauce in NYC is just the yellow can of San Marzanos blended with some oregano thrown in. If you want it sweeter, add a dash (way less than you think, a really small amount) of cinnamon instead of sugar.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 22:18

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Have you tried totinos op

# ? Aug 13, 2022 22:21

Squee: Jun 15, 2003; <3

Everyone has covered most important things, not letting your oven and stone/steel preheat enough can be a big problem with not getting a crisp crust as well. I let it go for a minimum of 30 minutes before I even think of putting a pizza on it.
also this is my fav pizza cheese, my local trader joe's carries it along with a local cheese shop, but you can order it online as well: https://www.widmerscheese.com/product/vac-pack-half-mild-specialty-brick-2-5-lb/

# ? Aug 13, 2022 22:24

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 23:00

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

good pizza makers are more about the vibe of the pizza. its gotta have steez.

# ? Aug 13, 2022 22:27

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