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Mode 7
Jul 28, 2007

Skjorte posted:

I downloaded SF5 during its free trial thingy a few weeks back to just play Honda for a while. Ganryu from Tekken is my favorite sumo wrestler in games, though. Mainly because he has like 100 moves, like all Tekken characters. And then there's Taka-Arashi from Virtua Fighter, who's probably the best/most accurate representation of sumo in a fighting game.

One of the way-back-in-the-day versions of King of Fighter (I think) also had a sumo practitioner, though she was a school girl. Can't believe they stopped highlighting sumo for self-defense by never bringing that character back...

What's funny is that I don't think I would ever have tried out Honda if I hadn't gotten in to sumo and 1) he's fun as gently caress, hundred hands and flying headbutts go brrrrrrr and 2) now I know how to play charge characters and they kind of own, actually.

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Bentai
Jul 8, 2004


NERF THIS!


No Mods No Masters posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYGKSt0zxg4

Say what you will about the old sumo men but they somehow allowed this
Both sumo and horse racing have a long and storied history of loving around with the yakuza, so it's a marriage made in heaven.

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

same hakuho new* building:

https://twitter.com/HakuhoSho69/status/1560904810987024384

https://twitter.com/SumoFollower/status/1560929367118823430

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
i'm trying to wrap my head around going to work every day and being personally mentored by the greatest master my field has ever seen but it must be pretty cool so congratulations to miyagino and the boys.

Communist Thoughts
Jan 7, 2008

Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!


Log082 posted:

My friend actually got me that shirt as a birthday present recently! It owns.

I actually got most of my friend group into sumo after picking it up myself over the pandemic, and now we're all huge sumo nerds. The basho before last we got together and had a charcuterie night for the last night of the basho, and in Sep or Nov we're going to do a chanko nabe night.

...Say, speaking of goon contests, we should do a chanko recipe contest.

Yeah me and my partner also got our friends into the sumo, it's so compelling if you have someone to start you out explaining that X guy can't lose or he won't be allowed to see his wife and kids after disgracing himself or Y guy needs to win this to keep his salary or Z guy is on a historic run after having his knees amputated last February

A chanko night is a great idea, gonna steal that

Kuros
Sep 13, 2010

Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.
A 3 part series detailing the rivalry between Asashoryu and Hakuho by Don Don.

Pt 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrpSIEgvPHM

Pt 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TChxal5jfyU

Part Three to be released, good stuff here. Lots of detail into the techniques during the bouts.

Iron Chef Nex
Jan 20, 2005
Serving up a hot buttered stabbing

Kuros posted:

A 3 part series detailing the rivalry between Asashoryu and Hakuho by Don Don.

Pt 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrpSIEgvPHM

Pt 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TChxal5jfyU

Part Three to be released, good stuff here. Lots of detail into the techniques during the bouts.

This (part three is now up too!) is awesome.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
https://soranews24.com/2022/08/28/ever-wanted-a-sumo-sandwich-new-baked-goods-line-gets-stamp-of-approval-from-wrestlers-in-japan/

Sumo bread

anakha
Sep 16, 2009


Iron Chef Nex posted:

This (part three is now up too!) is awesome.

That same channel has a highlight vid of my favorite technique, the nodowa.

Akebono loved wrecking fools with the move, and it was a core part of Harumafuji's technique and a big reason he was so effective despite being tiny for a yokozuna.

GoatSeeGuy
Dec 26, 2003

What if Jerome Walton made me a champion?


September Banzuke- hot off the presses.

https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/

Asanoyama get Ms 15E, so if he steamrolls he may just be Juryo come November along with extra K and S slots!

Neodoomium
Jun 20, 2001

You are now hearing this
noise in your head.



Holy smokes Midorifuji got a jump

Fluffdaddy
Jan 3, 2009

Ryuden back to m12. Can't wait to watch his dissapointing brand of sumo.

Fluffdaddy
Jan 3, 2009

Brut posted:

If Nishikigi ever gets 10 or more wins from single digit M rank or better I will have him in my avatar for the rest of the year, whichever year it happens (it won't).

Also he's at m4 so this toxx is on.

Kuros
Sep 13, 2010

Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

Fluffdaddy posted:

Also he's at m4 so this toxx is on.

I eagerly await you getting a Nishikigi avatar no matter what happens.

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
Nishikigi zensho yusho coming up

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
Salute to the sweetest boy on his retirement
https://twitter.com/sumokyokai/status/1564099805265006592?s=21&t=ShR-0pzIsix52W-Bzbelmw

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

RIP

Ice Phisherman
Apr 12, 2007

Swimming upstream
into the sunset




Oh no, he was so nice in the ring. :(

rip

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
It was also recently the birthday of our next yusho winner
https://twitter.com/isenoumibeya/status/1563439639892963330?s=21&t=iQL0vKTzwccnkn_1qnmvJQ

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Hahahaha the banzuke is such a mess

net work error
Feb 26, 2011


At least he is going to get elder stock and still hang out for a while.

some kinda jackal
Feb 25, 2003

 
 
RIP one of the “huh whitey doing Sumo??” guys that got me into the sport.

Hope he has an awesome post-rikishi career with the JSA :)

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010


And past surprise winner Tokushoryu had a birthday last Monday! I still remember the moment he realized he won: a completely stunned look, then "YATTA!"

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5v3cE227dic

The most charismatic interview.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


Brut posted:

Hahahaha the banzuke is such a mess

I look forward to an extremely straight-forward, no nonsense tournament to make up for the banzuke.

...Jjust kidding it's going to be extra chaotic.

pseudodragon
Jun 16, 2007


Tachiai's banzuke roundup makes it kind of makes sense, or at least reverse engineers the logic the old guys used.

I wonder if there are enough wins to go around to keep all 6 K/S up next time. Heck, if Mita has another bad tourney we could have 7 (he'd probably have to mathematically if the others are getting 8). Kotonowaka is right there pushing for a spot too, and I don't think he's going away.

Tobizaru and Midorifuji are going to get wrecked. We might also get a Takyasu classic. He's technically kept his ranking, but the additional sanyaku spots pushes him further from the joi so he might be down to a rank where he can do some damage until he gets bumped up.

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003

i assume mitakeumi is still kadoban and is presumably the only guy ever to compete in two straight basho as such?

pseudodragon posted:

Tachiai's banzuke roundup makes it kind of makes sense, or at least reverse engineers the logic the old guys used.

I wonder if there are enough wins to go around to keep all 6 K/S up next time. Heck, if Mita has another bad tourney we could have 7 (he'd probably have to mathematically if the others are getting 8). Kotonowaka is right there pushing for a spot too, and I don't think he's going away.

Tobizaru and Midorifuji are going to get wrecked. We might also get a Takyasu classic. He's technically kept his ranking, but the additional sanyaku spots pushes him further from the joi so he might be down to a rank where he can do some damage until he gets bumped up.

i'm in favor of the extra slots but wasn't expecting one at both levels. the one downer is that as a tobizaru fan he'll have a tougher road than usual getting promoted from m1

Brut
Aug 21, 2007

Woah, Kaisei got the Tomozuna kabu, that seems unexpected. Do you think that's a permanent thing or will there be another swap at some point soon?

Shamelessly stealing these from a sumoforum post (click for huge):
2011:
(Lol imgur detected that last one as porn)
Recent:

Brut fucked around with this message at 16:17 on Aug 31, 2022

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



I'll post the Actual Banzuke when it comes time for Fantasy, but in the meantime:

Goonzuke, Aki 20220

code:
		    Aki  2022	
		
		   SA Goonzuke	
		
		      Ozeki	
GoatSeeGuy		1	Skjorte
Tiny Bug Child		2	Banana Canada
anakha			3	captainblastum
		
		    Sekiwake	
MyChemicalImbalance	1	Thauros
sivad			2	
		
		     Komusubi	
pseuodragon		1	scripterror
		
		
		   Maegashira	
Khizan			1	Kenning
EveryonesFavoritePoster	2	Eli949
Charles Gnarwin		3	Marching Powder
Chinook			4	whats for dinner
Jobbo_Fett		5	Ice Phisherman
jmzero			6	Tochiazuma
Takuan			7	Netsky
Teddybear		8	Fluffdaddy
ullerm			9	Communist Thoughts
S.W.O.R.D. Agent	10	Neodoomium
bessantj		11	Crusty Nutsack
bartolimu		12	NuclearPotato
Mode 7			13	Saturnine Aberrance
Vargatron		14	Iron Chef Nex
Flinger			15	Lid
Robviously		16	
		
		
		      Juryo	
		
LlamaTrauma		1	Maigius
Pakled			2	Akiosan
Boogalo			3	ratmosphere
Gaghskull		4	Liquid Communism
Firebatgyro		5	QuasiQuack
MalarkeyToboggan	6	Helianthus Annuus
KungfuGrip		7	Kuros
Dead Goon		8	Lexorin
Log082			9	Brut
Scythe			10	ilmucche
rare Magic card l00k	11	Xerzes
Spokes			12	Biosys
Memento			13	
Once again, the layout of the goonnzuke is determined by the character length of the name of Everyone's Favorite Poster. In future, I need to remember to always rank them on the west side.

Thankfully, the goonzuke was substantially more straightforward than the actual banzuke for Aki 2022. In fact, this was one of the easiest goonzukes since we've started doing them. For the most part, people with losing records got demoted to about the right place, and people with winning records got promoted to the right place. The mean score for both divisions landed at exactly the middle point, and the progression of scores was fairly rational. This was a blessing, because I've had a very busy summer, and it took like 45 minutes to sort out goonzuke scores.

To start with, sivad has failed to defend their kadoban, and has been demoted to sekiwagoon. A simple winning record will return them to the top rank. Banana Canada, having failed notch a winning record is now kadoban, and has their rank on the line. Our Hakugoon GoatSeeGuy managed to rally from kadoban and defend their status at the top. The exalted top-rankers are joined by captainblastum and anakha, who both achieved a winning record and have displayed enough consistency over the last 6 months to garner the title of goonzeki.

In the junior san'yaku K2w MyChemicalImbalance has leapfrogged K1e Thauros for the top sekiwake slot, after both achieved winning records in Nagoya and earned easy promotions. They are joined by the demoted sekiwagoon sivad at S2e following the latter's kadoban. Marching Powder and Eli949 were demoted to M3w and M2w respectively, being replaced by pseudodragon and scripterror in the komusubi slots.

Down in the maegoonshira Everyone's Favorite Poster has jumped from M8e to M2e on the strength of their yusho-winning record. M1e and M1w are held by Khizan (moving over to the stronger side on the basis of a perfectly medial record) and me, Kenning, jumping from M5w on a strong record. Any of these three, plus ex-komusubi Eli949 are in strong san'yaku contention with a winning record at Aki. Charles Gnarwin is also in the conversation, with a promotion to M3e from M5e, as is jobbo_fett, jumping from M15e to M6e, although they'd need a very impressive record to get into the titled ranks. Special shout out to bessantj and Lid, who dropped 9 and 8 ranks respectively. Ganbatte kudasai in Aki!

Due to a couple of retirements, the makugoonchi to goonyo barge isn't as full as it would have otherwise been. We've got Mode 7, Saturnine Aberrance, and Fluffdaddy getting the nod, the latter on the strength of a tidy little juryo yusho, while only Pakled is being demoted, although only to J2e. The top of juryo is mostly familiar names, except for Akiosan, whose fantastic debut tournament has gotten them all the way to J2w, and a fairly straightforward candidate for promotion to the top division with another winning record.

A final farewell to Shiroc and some kinda jackal, who went intai this tournament, and who were honored in the wrap up post. It was a pleasure facing you both.


Looking forward to Aki in a little over a week! I'll put out the call for fantasy submissions this weekend, so keep your eyes peeled!

anakha
Sep 16, 2009


As I raise my imaginary red fish, I promise to try not to tarnish the name of goonzeki by embracing gratitude, expressing my own brand of fantasy sumo and devoting myself to the way of Lord Shodai.

bessantj
Jul 27, 2004


Kenning posted:

Special shout out to bessantj... who dropped 9 ranks.

Aww, you didn't have to, you really didn't :(

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

What did you say the strategy was?
I'm hoping none of my duders get injured this time

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry
The trick is to never trade unless Kenning does it automatically.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

What did you say the strategy was?

Jobbo_Fett posted:

The trick is to never trade unless Kenning does it automatically.

Robviously
Aug 21, 2010

Genius. Billionaire. Playboy. Philanthropist.

I strive to continue my brand of sumo in the upper ranks, holding on for dear life as I watch both my and my opponents sumotori fall.

some kinda jackal
Feb 25, 2003

 
 

Kenning posted:

A final farewell to Shiroc and some kinda jackal, who went intai this tournament, and who were honored in the wrap up post. It was a pleasure facing you both.

Thank you Kenning!

And now I look forward to escorting you all politely to your respective threads in my smart blue jacket.

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
I will always be here to remind you all to warm up before posting.

GoatSeeGuy
Dec 26, 2003

What if Jerome Walton made me a champion?


Jobbo_Fett posted:

The trick is Shodai.

Results don't lie.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

GoatSeeGuy posted:

Results don't lie.

True, true

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Kuros
Sep 13, 2010

Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

Shiroc posted:

I will always be here to remind you all to warm up before posting.

I've gone from Makushita to Juryo in my posting by warming up with a few shitposts daily.

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