r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

i mean i know newsweek sucks these days but like. lol, imagine having loving newsweek write a story about your brother kicking you out for being a dick and frying chicken in his kitchen

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:14

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# ? May 28, 2024 13:46

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

mediaphage posted:

i mean i know newsweek sucks these days but like. lol, imagine having loving newsweek write a story about your brother kicking you out for being a dick and frying chicken in his kitchen

This was the hottest story at NW that week; you can bet they were fighting to get ahead of each other in a desperate bid to avoid another dog costume contest opinion piece.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:22

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

mediaphage posted:

i mean i know newsweek sucks these days but like. lol, imagine having loving newsweek write a story about your brother kicking you out for being a dick and frying chicken in his kitchen

50% of the results when I google AITA titles are "news" articles about a similar AITA post or people reading AITA posts out on Youtube.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:22

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

BrigadierSensible posted:

"Uncle" and "Auntie" are terms of respect. They are what children call the older adults in their lives that they are close to, and are important to them. Regardless of whether they are related by blood or marriage. I personally have a bunch of older family friends that I call "Uncle X", or "Auntie Y" who are in now way related to me, but were around when I was a kid.

This kid obviously had a good foster family and was treated with love and respect. So the kid loves and respects his foster family and considers them, (all of them, not just his immediate foster parents), family. Or if you want to be pedantic about it, as important and loved as family.

So when he proudly introduces OP to his bio-mum as Auntie, to deny that familial relationship is a total arsehole move.

Yeah, the ultimate goal of any foster situation is supposed to be reunification if it is at all feasible. And it�s possible the bio-parents didn�t want the kid communicating with the foster family. Unless there is more there, like the kid purposely shutting them out, OP os the rear end in a top hat.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:29

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Absurd Alhazred posted:

50% of the results when I google AITA titles are "news" articles about a similar AITA post or people reading AITA posts out on Youtube.

You know what? gently caress it. We are doomed as a species.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:30

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

therobit posted:

You know what? gently caress it. We are doomed as a species.

As far as I can tell there are multiple people making a living by running popular reddit posts and comments through text to speech and posting the resulting videos on YouTube. Of course, they're very careful to censor all the swears in their stolen content so they don't get demonitized.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:34

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Carolyn Hax:

quote:

Dear Carolyn: My wife and I discovered by chance that my brother�s wife was impregnated through IVF. They chose not to mention that to us, at least.

It now occurs to us she may have used donor sperm. I can�t think of a good reason the family should not have a right to the truth, but I suspect you probably can.

I would like to add, I�m not impressed with a superior claim to privacy, because we�re talking about a permanent addition to our families, and this amounts to a blurring of our identity. Do close relatives have a right to know who the father is?

� Family

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:38

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Carolyn Hax:

Wonder how often OP oils his calipers.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:40

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Carolyn Hax:

I am always amazed at the poo poo people care about that doesn�t affect them in the slightest.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:40

OPAONI: Jul 23, 2021

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Carolyn Hax:

There exist people in this world I would gleefully beat to death with blunt objects.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:40

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Carolyn Hax:

Why do none of these psychos just swab the kid and get the DNA test done on the sly

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:41

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

therobit posted:

I am always amazed at the poo poo people care about that doesn’t affect them in the slightest.

What? They have to be ready to shun that kid for not being 100% FAMILY, of course it affects them!

# ? Aug 24, 2022 03:44

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Carolyn Hax:

The use of the phrase "blurring of our identity" makes me believe this is 90% a weird racial thing, or 10% an even weirder religious fundie thing.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 04:29

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

The Good Decision Maker logged on to share this:

quote:

I've always had a crush on this girl but we graduated a few years ago and I never had the courage to ask her out. Fast forward to a week ago when I saw a post of hers on Facebook. I clicked on her profile just out of curiosity and saw that her relationship status was single. I'm single as well, but not looking for a relationship right now.

So I sent her a message to ask how she was doing and we exchanged a few messages just talking about our lives and such. Then I asked her if she was really single and she said yeah why. I basically said that I always found her attractive and would love to have sex with her if she was interested. I wanted to be honest and blunt about my intentions (other redditors have reported using this approach successfully.) I let her know it was no big deal if she wasn't interested.

She said "why would you even ask that" and blocked me. I've been thinking about it for the last week and I'm kicking myself that I said that. I really wish I could go back in time and redo that whole conversation. I know that I came off as creepy and it makes me cringe just to think about it.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 04:53

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

therobit posted:

Yeah, the ultimate goal of any foster situation is supposed to be reunification if it is at all feasible. And it�s possible the bio-parents didn�t want the kid communicating with the foster family. Unless there is more there, like the kid purposely shutting them out, OP os the rear end in a top hat.

Also since the brother went and got another foster kid, I wonder if he's really as devastated as OP claims. You'd think he wouldn't want to do it again knowing a similar outcome was a possibility if he was really that destroyed.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 04:54

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Vim Fuego posted:

The Good Decision Maker logged on to share this:

Sadly I am not convinced they learned the correct lesson about why saying that was bad. Perhaps more kicking is in order

# ? Aug 24, 2022 05:02

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

I think I found the 21st century version of 'Let them eat cake'

AITA For kicking out my BF's sister and making her homeless as she never planned for accommodations when she planned for a trip to my city?

quote:

I had my BF's sister staying with me (Anne) as she was visiting the city. Not even asked: just told me two days before she arrived that it is best for her to save costs. Fine.

I volunteer to spend time with the elderly- had this wonderful elderly woman, Rokh Mon (RM), over.

She is from Burma (now called Myanmar). Anne was listening listening when RM was telling a story. Anne is a very big dog lover. This is relevant.

RM told us about a time when she had to abandon a dog she had raised while in Burma. It had been abandoned by British soldiers when they occupied the area(?) She raised it in her late teens.

At some point she had to abandon it and left it on the streets. She'd come out to feed it every day until one day it was no longer there. She was devastated over it. It was clear why she had to from her story, the details I will mention further along.

After telling her story, Anne insisted "You could have posted it on FB". This made Rokh Mon very sad and me very angry.

.... This was 1960s rural Burma. Animal shelters did not exist Electricity did not even exist. RM had already went over that in her story. The village she lived in, today, in 2022? Many homes(lets be honest, glorified huts) STILL don't have electricity, let alone a working phone line.

(Good news: she briefly saw him in the city when she was on her way to immigrate to a better life (he had a very distinctive tail and coat pattern). Dogs in the city don't have as easy of a life that adopted dogs, but they are fed by people etc.

She was a single mom living in harsh poverty, in the middle of bumfuck Burma, at the mercy of an abusive landlord who told her if she didnt get rid of the dog, she and her 4 kids would be out on the street. She was near penniless and could barely work as her ex husband left her with permanent injuries (re: fire). No one else wanted the dog, what was she suppose to do? Anne already knew these details.

Anne said "I would've found a way" and that Rokh Mon was a "POS", stating "Then you should have lived on the street with your kids and the dog. Thats what would do. You could have gone to a shelter".

Yea, lemme just google the nearest dog friendly shelter in the 1960s Burmese jungle.

Anyways, I didn't say that. I was just REALLY annoyed that Anne refused to grasp the situation. I told her that not everyone has the luxury of growing up in SoHo with shelters at your fingertips and an app where you can find homes within minutes. We went back and forth.

I asked her once again, "What was she supposed to do? Be homeless with 4 kids AND a dog? In a corrupt country, in the village, with no sense of social security or financial aid? Please tell me how that situation would have been better. Please, I am dying to know."

She couldnt answer, just called me a POS. So I kicked her out. According to friends, she has considered suing me for the emotional distress of being homeless; shes stranded until her flight back. AITA?

Apparently it sucks to be homeless. Go figure.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 05:29

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

OP should have dropped the sister off at the shelter.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 05:38

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I'm tickled by the idea of a lawyer accepting a case suing someone for evicting you from their home which you randomly demanded to stay at while on vacation. It just seems like solid comedy potential.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 05:43

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

The Lone Badger posted:

Aren't there some cis-men who try to boost their testosterone to be 'more manly' but because they only know bro-science they gently caress it up and get the opposite? Can't remember the exact chemistry.

There's 3 types of Steroids, Sex hormones(Testosterone, estrogen, etc), Corticosteroids (The kind of poo poo you take for allergies and inflammation and a bunch of other body regulation stuff), and Anabolic Steroids (Muscle/bone growth stuff). The body processes certain anabolic steroids into Estrogen, which is why bodybuilders who went Ham on anabolics grew breasts. Also if people take a bunch of Testosterone and their body goes "Whoa too much Testosterone better stop making so much" but then they stop taking the Testosterone, the body doesn't catch back up for a while(or at all, if you gently caress up enough) so you've got a ton of Progesterone and Estrogen deciding that this guy needs child bearing hips.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 05:45

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for seasoning food with something my roommate is allergic to?

quote:

Ive lived with my roommate for three years. And over those three years, I have learned my roommate loves to help himself to my leftovers. I cook for myself and three kids and buy food using EBT. But I feel it's unfair (tangent) that I get myself a pie and my roommate eats most of it leaving me with a quarter inch sliver. However, I feel I'm kind so I just shrug and give the sliver to my three kids as a treat.

I should preface this with I have many, many, many food allergies so what I cook I can eat. Whatever's in the pantry that I buy only the kids can eat.

But I lived three years never having mushrooms. And I loooooooove mushrooms. Like I love them. The only real vegetableish thing with a depth of umami I can eat is mushrooms. I never bought fresh mushrooms since my roommate is allergic to the spores. But one day I found an umami seasoning - pure dried mushrooms. Omfg I fell in love. My kids love mushrooms but not nearly as much as I do.

So I made dinner with intentions of leftovers. I added the dried seasoning to the pasta dish. It brought out the flavor and I was happy to have mushroom flavor again. I packed up the leftovers.

Fast forward to the next day.... My roommate takes the Tupperware out of the fridge (enough to feed 4 people, and I don't recommend reheating in Tupperware but let's skip over that) and microwaves it. He takes a bite as I'm walking into the living room. He accuses me of trying to kill him (anaphylaxis with mushrooms) as I just look at him and ask "why are you eating my families food that I bought with EBT?"

I feel like I'm an rear end for not warning him (verbally despite labels) our leftovers were something he is allergic to.... But then again I don't since I've never once eaten nor given my kids his leftovers... I'm not sure. He had a reaction to eating the food not to the spice being in the house but I feel like I'm making excuses..... But then again the spice never hurt him. Just eating it did... Without visible signs. He's still calling me an rear end. And I'm doubting myself.

Edit: he constantly eats whatever I make and even helps himself to the pantry. I didn't buy the spice to hurt him but because I wanted it. I only now realize it could deter him.

Edit 2: I have had discussions to ask first. Due to my own food allergies, even if he offers I ask. Just ask if you can. I didn't do it intentionally. I always make leftovers because I go big with cooking since you gotta stretch the dollar. I really thought he knew to ask.

Edit 3: reiterating that I have asked him to stop taking the food. I always label food. I'm allergic to many food. Mac and cheese is even labeled because cows milk turns me into a zombie. Not kidding. Zombie who only vomits. Fun. I have asked him to stop. I always label out of habit. If he doesn't eat the left overs, my kids do. Rarely is much left for me.

duh, kill your roommate and make a lasagna with his meat (spice with mushrooms)

# ? Aug 24, 2022 06:11

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Why are you robbing from your own kids and the EBT you get to let anyone else eat that food? I would absolutely let this man die of exposure tied to a cactus in the desert if he ate my childrens pie I had to use EBT to get them.

Death. Deaaaaath. Deaaaaaaaaaaaaaath.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 06:21

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Barudak posted:

Why are you robbing from your own kids and the EBT you get to let anyone else eat that food? I would absolutely let this man die of exposure tied to a cactus in the desert if he ate my childrens pie I had to use EBT to get them.

Death. Deaaaaath. Deaaaaaaaaaaaaaath.

mushroom powder in everything from now on. apple and mushroom powder pie. mushroom powder in the milk. mushroom powder dusted over all flat surfaces. gently caress that roommate.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 07:54

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

I love the new title.

AITA for farting at work and blaming a male co-worker?

quote:

So I (32F) have a gas problem. So what right? Lots of people have that.

It gets pretty bad because the silent but deadly (SBD) little indiscretions I let are sometimes room-clearing events. I always pretend that someone else did it if I can. There are always times when the accompanying rumble in my pants gives me away, but when it's an SBD I pretend it wasn't me.

If I avoid eating certain foods, the situation in the underworld can be controlled. Unfortunately, most of the foods I love are the ones that make me go poot. At work the food cart has some of the offending foods and sometimes I just can't resist eating those foods for lunch. The other day I ate some Flaming Hot Cheetos just before an important meeting.

I work in an office and like all offices there are some toxic people. One dear co-worker (DCW) in particular is really rude to me. He contradicts me a lot and has made me look dumb in front of the manager more than once. I've never done anything to him, but he just doesn't seem to like women very much. I try to avoid being around him but can't always do that.

While in a meeting with an important client, I couldn't hold back the Gates of Hades so to speak. At least it was an SBD so everyone didn't automatically know. But soon a nuclear-level fog descended on the room, and it was coming from my general direction.

Luckily, I was standing next to... guess who? Yes, it was DCW. I scrunched up my nose and gave him a dirty look. And I moved away from him like I was escaping from Alcatraz. He looked embarrassed and it was clear that everyone else though he did it, including the manager and the client.

After the meeting DCW confronted me in the hall. He's the kind of guy that doesn't like to lose face. He said, "You did that in there didn't you?" And I was all like "Whatever do you mean?" And he then said, "I'm going to get even with you for that." and stormed off. Afterward I began to feel a little guilty. I mean, I don't like him but I'm not sure he really deserved what I did.

So AITA for blaming my Flaming Hot Cheetos fart on a toxic co-worker, or did he deserve it?

# ? Aug 24, 2022 08:15

Xlorp: Jan 23, 2008

Invisible Clergy posted:

I love the new title.

AITA for farting at work and blaming a male co-worker?

If OP had been male, coworker would have high-fived her.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 08:21

Tea Bone: Feb 18, 2011; I'm going for gasps.

Are tifu posts allowed here?

TIFU by asking my high school crush to have sex with me

quote:

I've always had a crush on this girl but we graduated a few years ago and I never had the courage to ask her out. Fast forward to a week ago when I saw a post of hers on Facebook. I clicked on her profile just out of curiosity and saw that her relationship status was single. I'm single as well, but not looking for a relationship right now.

So I sent her a message to ask how she was doing and we exchanged a few messages just talking about our lives and such. Then I asked her if she was really single and she said yeah why. I basically said that I always found her attractive and would love to have sex with her if she was interested. I wanted to be honest and blunt about my intentions (other redditors have reported using this approach successfully.) I let her know it was no big deal if she wasn't interested.

She said "why would you even ask that" and blocked me. I've been thinking about it for the last week and I'm kicking myself that I said that. I really wish I could go back in time and redo that whole conversation. I know that I came off as creepy and it makes me cringe just to think about it.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Aug 24, 2022 08:27

odiv: Jan 12, 2003

Tea Bone posted:

Are tifu posts allowed here?

Only on Tuesdays.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 08:29

feller: Jul 5, 2006

Tea Bone posted:

Are tifu posts allowed here?

TIFU by asking my high school crush to have sex with me

Maybe, but what about things that were already posted?

# ? Aug 24, 2022 09:04

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Runcible Cat posted:

mushroom powder in everything from now on. apple and mushroom powder pie. mushroom powder in the milk. mushroom powder dusted over all flat surfaces. gently caress that roommate.

This is exactly how I would respond. Call me Toadstool because the apartment just became the loving Mushroom Kingdom.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 09:15

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

yeti friend posted:

Maybe, but what about things that were already posted?

Only on Tuesdays.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 09:15

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The hit sequel to DNR-- WNR, Would Not Resuscitate

# ? Aug 24, 2022 09:32

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for taking my neighbors cat to the pound?

quote:

Throwaway to maintain my privacy

I (30yo M) just recently moved into my new home. Everything has been perfect except for my neighbors outdoor cat that keeps coming onto my lawn. I have a dislike of cats since I was attacked by one as a child which gave me a nasty infection.

I politely asked my neighbor if they would keep the cat off of my property and they said they would try to but it�s difficult to control since he is an outdoor cat. Well weeks pass by and the cat is still coming on my lawn so I install motion sensor sprinkles but the cat is still coming on my lawn.

One day I walk outside to find that the cat had destroyed my vegetable garden I had worked so hard on. This was the final straw for me so I trap the cat in my yard and call animal control for a stray cat pick up. A few days go by and somehow my neighbors found out I called animal control and come furiously yelling at me stating I endangered their cat and almost caused them to lose their beloved pet. I told them that�s they should have kept him off of my lawn and they were being negligent owners by letting the cat roam outdoors.

I told my friend what happened and they said I was a huge AH for calling animal control but I don�t feel that I am. So Reddit am I really the AH here?

# ? Aug 24, 2022 10:21

Malcolm Excellent: May 20, 2007; Buglord

The cat destroyed dudes garden?? Is it a liger?

# ? Aug 24, 2022 10:55

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Mx. posted:

AITA for taking my neighbors cat to the pound?

all i did was try to get my neighbor's cat killed, why is everyone calling me an rear end in a top hat? i mean it dug up my garden, which is totally a thing that cats do

# ? Aug 24, 2022 11:46

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

The cat most likely just chewed on a plant like cats do.

But lying about the cat and not informing the owner is pretty funny, a nice beginning in a new neighbourhood for that guy

# ? Aug 24, 2022 11:46

zokie: Feb 13, 2006; Out of many, Sweden

Lmao, here in Sweden the courts have ruled that actually cats are allowed poop everywhere. Not that they are asking permission, but it came from a similar case of someone being pissed at their neighbors cat.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 11:50

Unkempt: May 24, 2003; ...perfect spiral, scientists are still figuring it out...

If the vegetable garden's been destroyed then that would be a nice place to put the acid vat.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 11:51

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Vegetables are the fruits of the earth, and swearing to grow them man's curse for eating of the forbidden tree but in quiet private care a supplication of faith in God showing man's acceptance and appreciation. The cat, as all creatures in league with the devil and his cursed works, is driven to destroy this living proof of covenant, and as such the man is righteous twicefold for destroying it.

The court of salem is now adjourned

# ? Aug 24, 2022 11:56

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

zokie posted:

Lmao, here in Sweden the courts have ruled that actually cats are allowed poop everywhere. Not that they are asking permission, but it came from a similar case of someone being pissed at their neighbors cat.

afaik here in socialist Denmark you're allowed to shoot animals that come onto your property. :rip:

Fido

# ? Aug 24, 2022 12:06

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# ? May 28, 2024 13:46

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Untrue, cats

Barudak posted:

Vegetables are the fruits of the earth, and swearing to grow them man's curse for eating of the forbidden tree but in quiet private care a supplication of faith in God showing man's acceptance and appreciation. The cat, as all creatures in league with the devil and his cursed works, is driven to destroy this living proof of covenant, and as such the man is righteous twicefold for destroying it.

The court of salem is now adjourned

Untrue. Cats are the only creatures created by God that are capable of recognising his divinity. That's why while dogs think people are God, but cats don�t. Cats know that people act as middlemen to God�s will. They�re not ungrateful. They just know better.

# ? Aug 24, 2022 12:09

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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