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Trainee PornStar posted:They used to sell 'liquid rear end' on amazon, they still might but I cant be arsed to check. Yup, used to handle that stuff all the time. The bottle comes in a bigger box with the words "LIQUID rear end" in blocky letters. No advertising on it or anything, super plain. They just know what they're selling and making sure it survives the trip (unlike so many other Amazon vendors). Never had one of those bottles burst on me but I've seen what happens when a concentrated deer piss bottle broke and got everywhere. I imagine Liquid rear end is probably 10x as bad, and the concentrated urine was bad enough to shut down a section of the department for the rest of the shift. For a while someone was selling farting pigs. Had a belly button that stuck out of the packaging for you to try. I got one, pressed it a few times and was disappointed it made no noise. Turned out it was a stinky toy. One whiff of that and I basically slammed it in the box in an attempt to make the smell go away.
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Aug 24, 2022 12:22
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Lazyfire posted:
What the gently caress? What's the context of this? Just some dude trying to gaslight your wife into thinking you're going to dump her? Why the gently caress would someone do this?
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Aug 24, 2022 12:54
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Gnossiennes posted:i've never heard of an all hands meeting that was anything but being talked at for an hour, wtf HR takes attendance at our all-hands. It's a pretty easy function in Teams (which we unfortunately use), it just poops out a spreadsheet with all the attendees. Sometimes it gets wonky with cell phone call-ins, but those are all high level execs etc. who aren't going to get hassled for not showing up. I suspect other programs have a similar functionality.
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Aug 24, 2022 12:56
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Cyrano4747 posted:HR takes attendance at our all-hands. It's a pretty easy function in Teams (which we unfortunately use), it just poops out a spreadsheet with all the attendees. Sometimes it gets wonky with cell phone call-ins, but those are all high level execs etc. who aren't going to get hassled for not showing up. I suspect other programs have a similar functionality. My working life got much easier once I became confident just skipping meetings and telling people "sorry, I have work I need to do". Works a pretty high percentage of the time, because most of my bosses have been cowards.
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Aug 24, 2022 13:05
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Cyrano4747 posted:What the gently caress? He mistakenly believed I was a house husband because I work from home full time and am coordinating the move while my wife is traveling to the area we're moving to two weeks a month already. I think because she's at the second highest tier of movement benefits there was an assumption she had a career while I stayed home with our non-existent children. My wife responded to him with a "My husband works for the company as well, so would we really need to get me added to the title if he's also moving?" and suddenly replies to me were a lot more professional.
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Aug 24, 2022 13:09
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Lazyfire posted:He mistakenly believed I was a house husband because I work from home full time and am coordinating the move while my wife is traveling to the area we're moving to two weeks a month already. I think because she's at the second highest tier of movement benefits there was an assumption she had a career while I stayed home with our non-existent children. My wife responded to him with a "My husband works for the company as well, so would we really need to get me added to the title if he's also moving?" and suddenly replies to me were a lot more professional. So a weird, gender-flipped version of the old bullshit about housewives being gold diggers just out for that precious alimony?
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Aug 24, 2022 13:35
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JUST MAKING CHILI posted:All hands zoom meeting had a q&a section the moderators kept reminding everyone to post questions in, instead of the chat. They disabled anonymous questions after the last meeting. We had an all hands livestream hosted via YouTube and it was amusing when afterwards some folk were irately trying to guess what handsome, charming bandit had clicked “dislike.” Cyrano4747 posted:HR takes attendance at our all-hands. It's a pretty easy function in Teams (which we unfortunately use), it just poops out a spreadsheet with all the attendees. Sometimes it gets wonky with cell phone call-ins, but those are all high level execs etc. who aren't going to get hassled for not showing up. I suspect other programs have a similar functionality. I’m so thankful our communications dept doesn’t know how to do that and is content with posting a livestream link that is ostensibly mandatory for an hour each week but is a waste of time, so I watch the first five minutes as that’s when they announce anything important (usually nothing) and then I sneakily close the window and do work.
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Aug 24, 2022 13:45
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JUST MAKING CHILI posted:They disabled anonymous questions after the last meeting. Our place tried to do this until someone asked them why they were deliberately discriminating against people with social anxiety and if they were just trying to avoid honest questions from people in difficult management/team/co-worker situations that weren't being addressed.
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Aug 24, 2022 13:56
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goatface posted:Our place tried to do this until someone asked them why they were deliberately discriminating against people with social anxiety and if they were just trying to avoid honest questions from people in difficult management/team/co-worker situations that weren't being addressed. This person owns.
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Aug 24, 2022 13:59
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Lazyfire posted:He mistakenly believed I was a house husband because I work from home full time and am coordinating the move while my wife is traveling to the area we're moving to two weeks a month already. I think because she's at the second highest tier of movement benefits there was an assumption she had a career while I stayed home with our non-existent children. My wife responded to him with a "My husband works for the company as well, so would we really need to get me added to the title if he's also moving?" and suddenly replies to me were a lot more professional. you're a bigger man than me if you're not trying to get HR to discipline that horseshit, not because you're offended or anything, but being that unprofessional about your speech at work absolutely deserves some level of consequences and a warning to never talk to people like that in a professional environment ever again MrQwerty fucked around with this message at 14:10 on Aug 24, 2022 |
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Aug 24, 2022 14:00
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goatface posted:Our place tried to do this until someone asked them why they were deliberately discriminating against people with social anxiety and if they were just trying to avoid honest questions from people in difficult management/team/co-worker situations that weren't being addressed. Lol nice. We had one year where they got mad when people asked why they had promised to follow up with a survey that identified a lot of issues, then pivoted to pretending the survey never happened. Subsequent years they’ve complained about poor survey participation.
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Aug 24, 2022 14:11
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I appreciate that my company really wants to hear from us in their non-anonymous survey while simultaneously ignoring the few questions everyone asks. It's a nice that so many companies want to create these situations so we, the employees, have a shared-across-corporations bonding.
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Aug 24, 2022 14:18
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boss made an big hubbub about giving everyone real COL increases in August about 2 months ago. After agonizing research, apparently, he has decreed everyone gets 40 cents more. lmfao.
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Aug 24, 2022 14:20
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Cyrano4747 posted:So a weird, gender-flipped version of the old bullshit about housewives being gold diggers just out for that precious alimony? Something like that, it seems. On one hand it was kind of a progressive assumption, but a really weird attempt at a joke that could have just been a normal interaction. MrQwerty posted:you're a bigger man than me if you're not trying to get HR to discipline that horseshit, not because you're offended or anything, but being that unprofessional about your speech at work absolutely deserves some level of consequences and a warning to never talk to people like that in a professional environment ever again My options there are limited either way, this is an outside firm our company works with to handle these sorts of moves as we send people all over the world for jobs and rotational assignments. The one thing I'll say is that they are fast and already have both mortgage companies they work with in the area we're going to in contact with my wife about getting pre-approved. Before the end of the day yesterday the guy had already started pulling data on our house and kicked off the title change process and wants to talk about when we can get this place listed as soon as possible. I just want to get this move done and don't want to gently caress around with getting a new rep because he made a dumb assumption.
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Aug 24, 2022 14:52
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https://twitter.com/emollick/status/1562143652180365323?s=21&t=Ef_y56eUogcYwgeVKYh20A
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Aug 24, 2022 15:05
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Just lol at any corporate song that isn't some variation of the lotr orc cartoon dirge.
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Aug 24, 2022 16:42
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Outrail posted:Just lol at any corporate song that isn't some variation of the lotr orc cartoon dirge. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y30LAj502mY
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Aug 24, 2022 16:50
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Sywert of Thieves posted:I keep missing the all-hands meetings (which are basically "is everyone doing ok? Alright cool bye" at this point) because we use Skype. And I muted the group with all employees in it because it gets flooded with birthday wishes nearly every day, making it distracting and useless. I work afternoons and my company's all-hands are always scheduled before my shift begins. I never even considered attending one and would laugh at the suggestion. In Distracting & Useless news: I don't know how or why this started, but everyone in my group has begun spamming our Teams chat announcing when they are going on lunch. Every person. Every day. I just. Don't. Care. Atopian posted:So last year a series of poor management decisions led to a bunch of people quitting, and it hasn't been possible to replace most of them by recruitment. Most of the people they *have* been able to recruit are underexperienced or underqualified or both. As long as you're both internal it sounds OK, maybe just do it verbally so there isn't a paper trail of you talking poo poo with your name at the bottom. If they do want something in writing, keep it as bland and professional as possible.
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Aug 24, 2022 17:29
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If you want to, it shouldn't hurt. Might make life better and easier for some people in the future. Put everything factual in the most straightforward way you can, couch all opinion statements in some safety wrappers of business speak.
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Aug 24, 2022 17:43
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I think I'm going to head off to lunch around noon today
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Aug 24, 2022 18:04
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I'm out to lunch
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Aug 24, 2022 18:08
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I'm finishing my lunch up now.
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Aug 24, 2022 18:09
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I thought I was done with lunch, but it's coming back up just now.
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Aug 24, 2022 18:28
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At lunch now. 20-30 minutes later than usual, had to take a client escalation (he was actually remarkably easy to work with and we came up with a reasonable solution).
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Aug 24, 2022 18:48
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I have lunch after my lunch. 
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Aug 24, 2022 19:35
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Aug 24, 2022 19:59
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Was it somebody in this thread that said their workplace hosted an active shooter drill that involved fake shooters and dead bodies? https://omaha.com/news/local/crime-...twitter_OWHnews quote:On the second floor of the building, Amanda Driver, 24, said she knew training was scheduled that day for the on-site classroom and believed it would be a speaker and a PowerPoint presentation. An earlier email made no mention of actors simulating a gunman or his victims. edit: this is the goon I was thinking of. Still applies to this thread though. wa27 fucked around with this message at 20:13 on Aug 24, 2022 |
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Aug 24, 2022 20:09
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wa27 posted:Was it somebody in this thread that said their workplace hosted an active shooter drill that involved fake shooters and dead bodies? I'm sorry but this entire article is wild and needs to be read quote:Omaha charity workers recount terror of 'shooter' firing gun; only bosses knew it was a drill quote:Catholic Charities’ compliance coordinator, Carrie Walter, and Security Director Mike Welna agreed on April 28 to pay Channels $2,500 to conduct the training. Walter stated the idea of conducting an “active shooter” training “had been discussed for some time ... due to having the new facility open ... which contained a domestic violence shelter.” quote:“Walter stated that Channels planned to start by shooting victims outside of the office windows and doors to be viewed by employees, then make his way through the building (with keys provided by staff) hoping to cause employees to flee from the building or hide,” Mois wrote. “Walter stated Channels specifically stated he did not want the Catholic Charities staff to be informed that the scenario was only a drill and wanted to feel as though they were in danger.” quote:She then heard three gunshots behind her. She ran as fast as she could toward a retaining wall, with a dumpster several feet below. Lopez tried to jump into the dumpster to hide. She landed outside the dumpster and curled into the fetal position. Fearing she would be found and killed, Lopez then ran about three blocks to a fast-food restaurant to hide inside. nbd regularly scheduled fake murder I don't know why you're so upset quote:Employees weren’t the only ones in the dark. Authorities say they weren’t notified of the drill. Dispatchers had no idea that several 911 calls of an active shooter were part of a scheme. And arriving Omaha police officers had no idea what they were encountering. One Omaha police officer had his hand on his gun as he approached co-workers, unsure who the shooter was. They found a sovcit with a tiny face, that's what it means quote:Kleine said it’s also hard to imagine what was going through Channels’ mind: Was this some kind of video game cosplay he found exciting? Channels operates the Exousia Protection Agency that, according to its social media posts, specializes in home security and firearms training. quote:“Lopez stated specifically that she believed the victim was a Catholic Charities employee who had been killed,” Mois wrote. “She believed she was involved in a real shooting event with real victims.” Very normal and cool situation we live in, about the only good thing here is that the guy actually got arrested and charged.
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Aug 24, 2022 20:41
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Volmarias posted:I'm sorry but this entire article is wild and needs to be read Lol sue the company for causing your new PTSD. This is so stupid and reprehensible. Late stage capitalist terrorism is still terrorism guys.
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Aug 24, 2022 20:52
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The only way this could have been funnier / more tragic is if one of the employees had a gun and shot back.
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Aug 24, 2022 20:55
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Prince Reggie K posted:The only way this could have been funnier / more tragic is if one of the employees had a gun and shot back. What if management was caught in the crossfire?
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Aug 24, 2022 20:59
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Outrail posted:What if management was caught in the crossfire? First of all, promoted
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Aug 24, 2022 21:01
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Prince Reggie K posted:The only way this could have been funnier / more tragic is if one of the employees had a gun and shot back. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2022/06/25/gun-school-how-teachers-us-armed-country-reels-uvalde/
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Aug 24, 2022 21:35
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Plucky Brit posted:UK reporting (and not a good newspaper), but I came across an active shooter training course for teachers. The teacher shot the gunman... and the other teacher who was trying to kill the gunman. Kudos to this teacher who saw an opportunity to rid themselves of an annoying coworker and took it.
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Aug 24, 2022 22:32
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Plucky Brit posted:UK reporting (and not a good newspaper), but I came across an active shooter training course for teachers. The teacher shot the gunman... and the other teacher who was trying to kill the gunman. When I was a security consultant, my focus was schools. And I can not tell you the level of rage this fills me with. The parents want everyone else to deal with this, but letting go of their own loving murder fantasies is a step too loving far. gently caress, better their kids be traumatized with active shooter drills. Better to promote dumb gently caress products like backpacks with trauma plates. Or extremely non-code compliant door stops, as if the school door building code changes after Columbine aren't a gently caress ton safer when your kid does something loving stupid in the chem lab and freaks out when it goes wrong. It's comforting he died from loving up making meth not an active shooter. A shame the Fire and EMT couldn't get to him because the door was barricaded. Because that's better than a door with a key lock on both sides. Take underpaid, over worked teachers and demand we give them guns. We can't find money for textbooks, or teacher pay raises. But that's okay because we'll just mandate the teachers spend their own money on it. So now some shooting happens, some teacher tries to do the heroic thing, and because the universe loves gently caress you, puts a bullet right in a student's skull. Was that student an active shooter? Nope, they were just seeking safety. But hey, what's losing another teacher, it's just loving guilt. I attended PTA meetings where parents would be getting me to try to push for millions in bonds to rebuild schools to be more "secure" and by secure I mean supermax for six year olds. Trying to get me to push some wackjob poo poo they saw on the internet that won't work. Or more cops in school. Which would end quickly if they ever met a school resource officer. Protip, it's a job you get by not being enough of a gently caress up to be fired but also being enough of a fuckup that hitting on middle school girls is your idea of a good decision. But pick the most tepid gun control proposal and bring it up. Can't be done. Too expensive. A white person might have some inconvenience. I might not get my fantasy of showing how badass I am. You're wearing loving New Balances Frank. You aren't a badass. You never were a badasss. No, you weren't almost a SEAL who was stopped by shin splints. The recruiter who came to your high school, looked at you and said no. And the parents ask you what places like Sandy Hook did wrong. Guess what? Not a drat thing. It's your best case scenario. They had done a recent active shooter drill. The shooter was spotted in the parking lot. The police response time was amazing. They were on site in two minutes. In the building in six. I grew up in rural Connecticut, that fast a response is insane. There isn't a lot I could have brought to the table. Bullet resistant glass is about it. And do you have any idea how expensive fitting a school with glass that is bullet resistant to rifle rounds? Then think in terms of district size. Sorry. This just really loving pisses me off.
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Aug 25, 2022 02:00
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Thomamelas posted:When I was a security consultant, my focus was schools. And I can not tell you the level of rage this fills me with. The parents want everyone else to deal with this, but letting go of their own loving murder fantasies is a step too loving far. gently caress, better their kids be traumatized with active shooter drills. Better to promote dumb gently caress products like backpacks with trauma plates. Or extremely non-code compliant door stops, as if the school door building code changes after Columbine aren't a gently caress ton safer when your kid does something loving stupid in the chem lab and freaks out when it goes wrong. It's comforting he died from loving up making meth not an active shooter. A shame the Fire and EMT couldn't get to him because the door was barricaded. Because that's better than a door with a key lock on both sides. But did your district consider arming the children? 
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Aug 25, 2022 02:18
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McGavin posted:Kudos to this teacher who saw an opportunity to rid themselves of an annoying coworker and took it. Never returned my stapler. *Spits on corpse*
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Aug 25, 2022 03:28
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Thomamelas posted:And the parents ask you what places like Sandy Hook did wrong. Guess what? Not a drat thing. It's your best case scenario. They had done a recent active shooter drill. The shooter was spotted in the parking lot. The police response time was amazing. They were on site in two minutes. In the building in six. I grew up in rural Connecticut, that fast a response is insane. There isn't a lot I could have brought to the table. Bullet resistant glass is about it. And do you have any idea how expensive fitting a school with glass that is bullet resistant to rifle rounds? Then think in terms of district size. The whole thing was interesting, but that particularly so. Describing the limits of site preparation.
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Aug 25, 2022 03:51
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Atopian posted:The whole thing was interesting, but that particularly so. Describing the limits of site preparation. All of security is about two things. Buying time, or trying to convince the other side that this space is too difficult to gently caress with. You use layered approaches, and different things for different threats. But there is no defensive 'I win!' button. And you have limits before what you do renders the location unfit for purpose or you run out of money. Or you make the place unsafe. As much as you plan, the other side can go bigger. I can make it so you can't break down a door with your body. But if someone wants to drive a bulldozer through it, there are limits to what I can do.
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Aug 25, 2022 14:50
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Imagining a future when more children are locked inside school to burn alive in America instead of Saudi.
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