Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

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Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Barry Foster posted:

Obi-Wan was the ugliest Star Wars has ever been

Space Pirate Kybo Ren

# ? Aug 31, 2022 09:55

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# ? May 26, 2024 04:26

Mantis42: Jul 26, 2010

No wonder they wanted the directors of "The Battle of Winterfell" on the job.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 09:56

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

damming when Dark Forces exists

# ? Aug 31, 2022 10:25

Nodoze: Aug 17, 2006; If it's only for a night I can live without you

Basebf555 posted:

I feel like Solo was at least a mix-bag visually, the darker style definitely didn't work all the time but there were some scenes where it did work.

Were there any good looking shots/scenes in Obi-Wan at all? I just don't remember any moment where it was anything other than cheap and ugly looking, but I can't say it exactly held my attention throughout so it's possible I missed some.

If for some reason you like incredibly dark and unlit scenes with MAXIMUM BRIGHTNESS lightsabers then Obi-Wan is for you

Also, Rian Johnson is at it again. He hasn't learned anything in the last five years and is still patting himself on the back

Nodoze fucked around with this message at 12:43 on Aug 31, 2022

# ? Aug 31, 2022 12:40

General Battuta: Feb 7, 2011; This is how you communicate with a fellow intelligence: you hurt it, you keep on hurting it, until you can distinguish the posts from the screams.

By "at it again" do we mean making a Knives Outer? Because if that's the case I hope he hasn't learned anything, movie owned.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 13:47

Vintersorg: Mar 3, 2004; President of
the Brendan Fraser
Fan Club

He's promoting that but also saying he's even more proud of The Last Jedi.

quote:

Johnson isn�t bothered by the backlash or even any anger regarding 2017's The Last Jedi. �I�m even more proud of it five years on,� he said during his interview. �When I was up at bat, I really swung at the ball.�

# ? Aug 31, 2022 13:50

Angry Salami: Jul 27, 2013; Don't trust the skull.

He's also insisting his SW trilogy is totally still going to be made, someday.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 13:55

Vinylshadow: Mar 20, 2017

Angry Salami posted:

He's also insisting his SW trilogy is totally still going to be made, someday.

And it might even be good because he's not continuing a story he's never seen yet insists he knows where it should go

# ? Aug 31, 2022 14:28

JonathonSpectre: Jul 23, 2003; I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck; Soiled Meat

Vintersorg posted:

He's promoting that but also saying he's even more proud of The Last Jedi.

Very, very strong "No we Obama admin-types wouldn't change a thing about legislative efforts in 2009 even knowing what we know now" Valerie Jarrett energy here.

By this point he should be George Clooney-ing this poo poo and offering to refund individual fans if they come up and say they ~~were subjected to~~ saw it.

I'd say keep him far away from anything Star Wars but who cares at this point, it's like being worried about whether a loving rotting ox carcass was a virgin or not. It doesn't matter! It's a rotting carcass! Nothing about it matters anymore except how fast it can loving disappear and stop stinking up the place!

For no reason at all I'll just leave these here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxCR2bFWHxM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fek6iJlm8s

# ? Aug 31, 2022 15:34

General Battuta: Feb 7, 2011; This is how you communicate with a fellow intelligence: you hurt it, you keep on hurting it, until you can distinguish the posts from the screams.

He made the only good movie in the franchise since ROTS, he's right to be proud.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 17:10

2house2fly: Nov 14, 2012; You did a super job wrapping things up! And I'm not just saying that because I have to!

Old RJ should be proud that he created a powerful psychotic post generator

# ? Aug 31, 2022 17:53

Ingmar terdman: Jul 24, 2006

Last Jedi more like Last Watchable Star Wars Movie

# ? Aug 31, 2022 19:11

Basebf555: Feb 29, 2008; The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!; Fun Shoe

It would be pretty hilarious if they ended up crawling back to George Lucas before this is all said and done. There's still a few years left to make that happen, Lucas is six years younger than Ridley Scott.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 19:14

feedmyleg: Dec 25, 2004

I really hope he's too busy making bizarro art films and not showing them to anyone except De Palma and Spielberg.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 19:22

Ingmar terdman: Jul 24, 2006

feedmyleg posted:

I really hope he's too busy making bizarro art films and not showing them to anyone except De Palma and Spielberg.

https://twitter.com/vicmcfly/status/1527129626513899520

# ? Aug 31, 2022 19:26

No Mods No Masters: Oct 3, 2004

I think george had his ego pretty much burned out by the hammer blows of reception to prequels, indy 4, red tails, and strange magic, he's done and good for him. I really wonder what they had to do to get him on the set of solo for as much as one full hour

# ? Aug 31, 2022 19:28

Basebf555: Feb 29, 2008; The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!; Fun Shoe

No Mods No Masters posted:

I think george had his ego pretty much burned out by the hammer blows of reception to prequels, indy 4, red tails, and strange magic, he's done and good for him. I really wonder what they had to do to get him on the set of solo for as much as one full hour

The funniest scenario is Lucas agrees to do a Star Wars film, and lo and behold it's a $2 billion box office smash hit. But then instead of getting out while he's ahead he makes another one and it's completely panned and it flops and the prequels scenario happens all over again 20 years later.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 19:36

Robot Style: Jul 5, 2009

No Mods No Masters posted:

I really wonder what they had to do to get him on the set of solo for as much as one full hour

It seems to happen more on the spinoffs. He visited the sets of Rogue One and The Mandalorian as well, though it sounds like he actually hung around for several hours on Solo. Maybe it was just having Ron Howard (who he's known since 1972) made him a little more comfortable rather than just a bunch of kids playing in his backyard.

Robot Style fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Aug 31, 2022

# ? Aug 31, 2022 19:44

CelticPredator: Oct 11, 2013; 🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

Vintersorg posted:

He's promoting that but also saying he's even more proud of The Last Jedi.

Good. Me too.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 19:55

CelticPredator: Oct 11, 2013; 🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

JonathonSpectre posted:

Very, very strong "No we Obama admin-types wouldn't change a thing about legislative efforts in 2009 even knowing what we know now" Valerie Jarrett energy here.

By this point he should be George Clooney-ing this poo poo and offering to refund individual fans if they come up and say they ~~were subjected to~~ saw it.

I'd say keep him far away from anything Star Wars but who cares at this point, it's like being worried about whether a loving rotting ox carcass was a virgin or not. It doesn't matter! It's a rotting carcass! Nothing about it matters anymore except how fast it can loving disappear and stop stinking up the place!

For no reason at all I'll just leave these here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxCR2bFWHxM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fek6iJlm8s

You�re insane and garbage

# ? Aug 31, 2022 19:57

Robot Style: Jul 5, 2009

Lucas didn't even come up with the stuff in that scene in Empire - the vast majority of the Force as depicted in Star Wars and Empire was lifted from the writing of notorious fraud anthropologist Carlos Castaneda - the character Don Juan (who was Obi-Wan's namesake) even talks about people being Luminous Beings within the first 10 pages of one of Castaneda's books.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 20:04

No Mods No Masters: Oct 3, 2004

I mean the ship of yoda being actually wise or giving good advice definitely sailed with the prequels, if you don't think it had sailed by the end of the OT. Rian tries to have it both ways, leaning on OT nostalgia for wise yoda to push the theme while also having the PT assertion that yoda is definitely a moron in his pocket in case of pushback

# ? Aug 31, 2022 20:22

teagone: Jun 10, 2003; That was pretty intense, huh?

JonathonSpectre posted:

Very, very strong "No we Obama admin-types wouldn't change a thing about legislative efforts in 2009 even knowing what we know now" Valerie Jarrett energy here.

By this point he should be George Clooney-ing this poo poo and offering to refund individual fans if they come up and say they ~~were subjected to~~ saw it.

I'd say keep him far away from anything Star Wars but who cares at this point, it's like being worried about whether a loving rotting ox carcass was a virgin or not. It doesn't matter! It's a rotting carcass! Nothing about it matters anymore except how fast it can loving disappear and stop stinking up the place!

For no reason at all I'll just leave these here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxCR2bFWHxM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fek6iJlm8s

Big loser energy in this post!

# ? Aug 31, 2022 21:22

General Battuta: Feb 7, 2011; This is how you communicate with a fellow intelligence: you hurt it, you keep on hurting it, until you can distinguish the posts from the screams.

Things could've gone a lot differently if Rise of Skywalker had really leaned into Last Jedi's theme of self-sacrifice as the key to victory. Some TIE pilot sacrifices themself to destroy the resistance bombers, Rose's sister sacrifices herself to blow up the dreadnaught, Holdo rams the Supremacy, Finn tries to ram the superlaser, Luke Force-projects himself to death to buy the resistance time to escape. Indeed, this theme of martyrdom stretches back to Empire, with Luke's fall into the throat of Cloud City, and even into the original Star Wars film. We can trace this to its roots in the Fedaykin 'death commandos' of Frank Herbert's Dune.

We can only imagine the true power of a Rise of Skywalker that fully commits to this textual through-line of political sacrifice. Imagine how good it would be if 3PO's "one last look at his friends" scene revealed him wearing a suicide vest. He proceeds to do Dark Rey voices from Kylo Ren's bathroom.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 21:24

General Battuta: Feb 7, 2011; This is how you communicate with a fellow intelligence: you hurt it, you keep on hurting it, until you can distinguish the posts from the screams.

e: I have to delete this post outlining a version of TROS that heavily features suicide bombing because I just realized I'm technically a Disney author, DM me if you really want to read it

General Battuta fucked around with this message at 21:31 on Aug 31, 2022

# ? Aug 31, 2022 21:29

General Battuta: Feb 7, 2011; This is how you communicate with a fellow intelligence: you hurt it, you keep on hurting it, until you can distinguish the posts from the screams.

Was that too much????

# ? Aug 31, 2022 21:29

No Mods No Masters: Oct 3, 2004

I don't think we're likely to ever make sense of star wars 8's stance on when suicide is okay. But whatever it is, it's not whatever that was

# ? Aug 31, 2022 21:37

Skrill.exe: Oct 3, 2007; "Bitcoin is a new financial concept entirely without precedent."

General Battuta posted:

Things could've gone a lot differently if Rise of Skywalker had really leaned into Last Jedi's theme of self-sacrifice as the key to victory. Some TIE pilot sacrifices themself to destroy the resistance bombers, Rose's sister sacrifices herself to blow up the dreadnaught, Holdo rams the Supremacy, Finn tries to ram the superlaser, Luke Force-projects himself to death to buy the resistance time to escape. Indeed, this theme of martyrdom stretches back to Empire, with Luke's fall into the throat of Cloud City, and even into the original Star Wars film. We can trace this to its roots in the Fedaykin 'death commandos' of Frank Herbert's Dune.

We can only imagine the true power of a Rise of Skywalker that fully commits to this textual through-line of political sacrifice. Imagine how good it would be if 3PO's "one last look at his friends" scene revealed him wearing a suicide vest. He proceeds to do Dark Rey voices from Kylo Ren's bathroom.

The theme of TLJ isn't suicide bombing, it's "saving what we love". Now you might say that doesn't actually mean anything but you'll have to take that up with its very proud creator.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 21:57

Megaman's Jockstrap: Jul 16, 2000; What a horrible thread to have a post.

General Battuta posted:

Was that too much????

The C3PO poo poo made me chortle out loud, so no.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 22:06

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

General Battuta posted:

Things could've gone a lot differently if Rise of Skywalker had really leaned into Last Jedi's theme of self-sacrifice as the key to victory. Some TIE pilot sacrifices themself to destroy the resistance bombers, Rose's sister sacrifices herself to blow up the dreadnaught, Holdo rams the Supremacy, Finn tries to ram the superlaser, Luke Force-projects himself to death to buy the resistance time to escape. Indeed, this theme of martyrdom stretches back to Empire, with Luke's fall into the throat of Cloud City, and even into the original Star Wars film. We can trace this to its roots in the Fedaykin 'death commandos' of Frank Herbert's Dune.

We can only imagine the true power of a Rise of Skywalker that fully commits to this textual through-line of political sacrifice. Imagine how good it would be if 3PO's "one last look at his friends" scene revealed him wearing a suicide vest. He proceeds to do Dark Rey voices from Kylo Ren's bathroom.

The past decade was a weird time where we got two back-to-back scifi blockbusters about how Tom Cruise must make amends and save humanity via sacred suicide bombing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx6_JMDFfWI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he21BE70f1Y

# ? Aug 31, 2022 22:48

Skrill.exe: Oct 3, 2007; "Bitcoin is a new financial concept entirely without precedent."

F.D. Signifier posted:

The past decade was a weird time where we got two back-to-back scifi blockbusters about how Tom Cruise must make amends and save humanity via sacred suicide bombing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx6_JMDFfWI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he21BE70f1Y

Wait until he does it for real

# ? Aug 31, 2022 23:33

Robot Style: Jul 5, 2009

Speaking of 2010's movie clich�s, it's pretty astonishing that the new corporate Star Wars was able to resist doing the hacky "blue beam shoots into the sky" thing for so long, but also feels somehow appropriate that Rise of Skywalker was the movie where it finally happened.

# ? Aug 31, 2022 23:53

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Rise of Skywalker gave us the blue beam splitting into infinite smaller beams, the blue sky tree of beam energy, and thus heralded the end of the blue beam era.

Of course we know what started the blue sky beam era...

# ? Sep 1, 2022 00:06

Nightmare Cinema: Apr 4, 2020; no.

F.D. Signifier posted:

Rise of Skywalker gave us the blue beam splitting into infinite smaller beams, the blue sky tree of beam energy, and thus heralded the end of the blue beam era.

Of course we know what started the blue sky beam era...

# ? Sep 1, 2022 00:50

Ingmar terdman: Jul 24, 2006

Is the ILM doc good?

# ? Sep 1, 2022 01:02

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

New Star Wars Trilogy just dropped

# ? Sep 1, 2022 01:12

General Battuta: Feb 7, 2011; This is how you communicate with a fellow intelligence: you hurt it, you keep on hurting it, until you can distinguish the posts from the screams.

You could probably edit the climax of The Northman and the climax of the Revenge of the Sith to happen in the same spot.

# ? Sep 1, 2022 01:44