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Jim is, once again, helping Elon strip out of his Waluigi costume so that Jim can spray him with the garden hose (a perfectly normal job that Jim has been doing three times daily for months). Suddenly, he realizes with a start that he's several days behind on his Black Rifle Prank Company orders. Jim has been posting videos of his pranks on TikTok and using the social media buzz to sell rifle themed pranks (copycats have increased the mass shooting rate in the United States by 3,000%). Jim finishes hosing of the business mogul and races back to The Fantabulous Prankatorium of Professor Halpert where he stores boxes of overpriced t-shirts and novelty rubber dog poop.
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Aug 30, 2022 13:38
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Jim screams at Dwight endlessly without breath. After several minutes Jim starts to spray blood and bits of flesh as his throat is torn apart.
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Aug 30, 2022 13:54
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Jim makes Dwight uncomfortable by talking about how "cool" Homelander is on The Boys and how Homelander is a "real hero" who "tells it like it is."
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Aug 30, 2022 14:56
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Jim takes Dwight out on a boat and kills him, then weighs down Dwight’s body and sinks it to the bottom of the sea. He then steals Dwight’s identity, showing up to work in a mustard yellow shirt and with glasses from a drug store. Creed doesn’t notice.
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Aug 30, 2022 15:01
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Jim crowns himself "king of pranks" in a ceremony that takes up the entire workday. Dwight has to anoint Jim's forehead with "holy oil" (Astroglide) while Pam carries the train of Jim's "ermine" (catskin) cape. Everyone in the office must participate in the ceremony or Jim will detonate his bomb vest. After Jim has been crowned, Jim reveals the bomb vest was fake. "It was all just a prank!" Michael, who's been sobbing and praying quietly the whole time bursts out laughing. "Oh man! You got us!" Jim, now dressed as a king with a huge plastic crown, mugs at the camera.
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Aug 30, 2022 15:21
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Jim leaves out bits of food around the office, drawing hundreds of fruit flies to the building. It's extremely annoying and everyone complains, but Jim says he's "working on it" and promises he'll get rid of the fruit flies "in 2-3 days". 2-3 days later, Dwight is sitting at his desk when Jim, holding thousands of lengths of string. Jim quietly ties them all to Dwight's chair. "Hey Dwight, why don't ya buzz off and fly away?" he giggles. The flies, which Jim had concealed in his pockets, suddenly fly out and carry Dwight's chair out the open window with Dwight still sitting there. "Wow, talk about flying the coop - LITERALLY!" As Dwight disappears over the horizon, Jim keeps laughing and laughing. Little does he know that Dwight is smiling. Finally, Dwight thinks, an excuse to get out of the office for a few days. The flies are approaching a tiny tropical oasis located in Lake Scranton when Dwight nudges them to land. His office chair lands softly in the white sand beach just as the sun begins to set. Dwight sits back in his chair, stretches his arms, and smiles.
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Aug 30, 2022 15:23
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Applewhite posted:Jim crowns himself "king of pranks" in a ceremony that takes up the entire workday. Dwight has to anoint Jim's forehead with "holy oil" (Astroglide) while Pam carries the train of Jim's "ermine" (catskin) cape.
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Aug 30, 2022 15:26
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Jim eats a ceramic mug and makes Dwight call an ambulance for internal bleeding
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Aug 30, 2022 15:41
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While being loaded into the ambulance Jim chuckles and says "got ya" before vomiting a lot of blood
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Aug 30, 2022 15:42
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A twelve year old Jim Halpert finds a wounded bird in his yard. The shy, lonely child, who never made a friend in his life, still feels a great deal of sympathy for the poor animal and decides to nurse it back to health. However, as he cradles the injured creature in his hands, a strange feeling comes over him. The thought of a tiny, fragile life completely at his mercy is strangely thrilling to young Jim, and instead of carefully placing the bird into the cardboard nest that he had built, he lowers it onto a whoopee cushion. The cushion only lets out the tiniest of fart sounds due to the size and weight of his victim, but for young Jim it's the most exhilarating thing he's ever felt. He smirks for the very first time. Soon, neighborhood pets begin to fall victim to various pranks. Cats return to their owners with "kick me" signs taped to their back. Dogs are forced to wear tiny shoes, causing them to walk in a ridiculous manner. A talking parrot starts referring to itself as "Balloon Bird." And Jim becomes a recluse, no longer showing up to school, spending more and more time in the backyard shed. One day, Jim's father finally decides to set his son straight, and barges into the shed. He's shocked to find the walls covered in gruesome diagrams of devices designed to prank small animals, and young Jim himself, currently in the process of encasing a squirrel in gelatin. Shocked and appalled, Jim's father goes into a lengthy tirade, telling him that these animal pranks must not continue, and that Jim will return to school immediately. Jim is strangely calm about this, and agrees. This was starting to get boring anyway, he says. Perhaps he would like to spend more time around other kids his age. Jim's father smiles warmly and pats his son on the shoulder and Jim smiles back... or rather... he smirks...
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Aug 30, 2022 15:53
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It's Movie Day at the office and, joy of joys, it's Jim's chance to pick the movie. But Jim is conflicted. He holds up two Special Limited Edition Collector's Version Ultra 4K discs - Mars Needs Moms and Minions: Rise of Gru. On one hand, it's obvious - his favorite movie is Mars Needs Moms. But he hasn't watched Minions: Rise of Gru's fancy new disc yet, it's still in the shrink wrap in fact. And it promises some incredible bonus features, including a sing-a-long. "Holy poo poo, a sing-a-long. I gotta watch that. But... Ki... Mars... the moms..." Jim sighs and looks at the two discs. The clock is ticking, 45 seconds until movie time. Jim, in a rare moment of humility, realizes that he can't make a decision. Then, out of nowhere, Ryan comes walking by. Jim is struck by inspiration. "Hey Ryan, your shoes are untied, buddy." Ryan bends down to tie his shoes and Jim smiles. He just pranked Ryan. In all of the many universes that Jim is aware of, this is an exceedingly rare event. Ryan is already an ancillary character and, in many universes, doesn't even exist. Jim feels the hum of the great machine that hides behind the veil of reality as a new timeline branches off, one where he just pranked Ryan. In the original universe, Jim ignores Ryan like he always does and heads into the conference room. "Aright, guys. Let's watch some Mars Needs Moms!" The rest of the office lets out a series of disappointed grunts and sighs and Kevin asks if he can just go back to work. In the "Ryan has been pranked universe", Jim laughs at Ryan's foolishness and then heads into the conference room. "Alright, guys. Let's watch Minions: Rise of Gru!" The rest of the office lets out a series of disappointed grunts and sighs and Creed asks if he can just go back to eating mung beans at his desk. Twin Jims, each aware of the other, mug for their respective cameras.
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Aug 30, 2022 15:57
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Jim crowns himself "Emperor of pranks" in a ceremony that takes up the entire workday. Dwight has to anoint Jim's forehead with "holy oil" (Astroglide) while Pam carries the train of Jim's "ermine" (catskin) cape. Just as Dwight, who is dressed as Pope Pius VII, is about to place the crown on Jim's head, Jim rised from his, Jim's, ornate throne, snatches the criwn from Dwight's hands, and crowns himself (Jim). The employees of Dunder Mifflin start half-heartedly chanting "Vive L'Empreur" Jim, now dressed as Emperor with a huge plastic crown, mugs at the camera.
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Aug 30, 2022 16:02
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Jim nonchalantly pulls out an m1911 45. acp pistol from his desk, places the barrel on the meat of his wrist, and fires. He resumes his work with one arm horrifically mangled. At no point does anyone in the office acknowledge this. Dwight called in sick today.
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Aug 30, 2022 16:05
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Jim bring a katana into the office and Dwight is seething with rage at the inaccurate hilt wrappings
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Aug 30, 2022 16:07
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Jim places his, Jim's, younger brother on the spanish throne.
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Aug 30, 2022 16:08
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Jim becomes incredibly racist just as he and Dwight are scheduled to give a presentation to a valuable foreign client. That is to say, he doesn't just act like a racist, he consciously and deliberately alters his belief system until he is genuinely racist, just to gently caress up this deal forever.
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Aug 30, 2022 16:12
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Jim returns to the office from imprisonment on the isle of Elba. He, Jim, effortlessly overthrows the craven and feckless Michael Scott, and for a momemt it ses like the scranton office park will once again fall under the tyranny of Jim. It is at this moment that Charles Miner, dressed as the Duke of Wellington, and Robert California, dressed as Marshall Blucher, barge into the office and kick the living poo poo out of Jim. Jim dies in solitude, a broken man, on the island of St. Helena.
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Aug 30, 2022 16:18
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Dwight is normal-sized (except for his abnormally developed muscular structure), but Jim spreads the rumor that he is exceedingly short, and suffering from "Shute-man Syndrome", forever marking Dwight in history as inadequately tall.
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Aug 30, 2022 16:28
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Jim purchases a 50 gallon barrel of anti-aging cream, then dumps Dwight inside of it. "He's going to come out as a baby or something, this will be hilarious. I mean, I've heard of the Boss Baby, but the Assistant to the Regional Manager Baby? C'mon!" The barrel begins to shake and the anti-aging cream bubbles over the top. The sides of the barrel begin to split and the cream spills all over the floor as the barrel is torn apart. Standing there is a 9 foot tall beast. It has one blazing red eye in the middle of its forehead. Twin spikes rise from it's shoulder blades. The beast is solid black and Jim isn't sure if it's some sort of skin-tight leather or the skin of the creature itself. The chest of the creature seems to glow with an unearthly red light and letters float above it as if being projected from some kind of screen. CRUSH KILL PUNISH It flashes, one word after the other, as the single red eye focuses on Jim. The creature reaches for the twin spikes on its shoulder blades and Jim realizes with dawning horror that they are organic blades of some sort, the creature pulls them out of its own body and the metal shines under the fluorescent lights of the office. "RECYCLOPS MUST PUNISH!" Jim is now terrified beyond the capacity for thought and begins backing up towards the door. "MANY YEARS AGO, MY HOME WAS DESTROYED BY POLLUTICORNS. I FLED TO THIS WORLD, INJURED, AND WAS FORCED TO BOND TO THE INFANT DWIGHT SCHRUTE. YOUR PRANK HAS RETURNED ME TO FLESH AND BLOOD BY TURNING BACK THE HANDS OF TIME. NOW THEN, HUMAN, HOW SHALL I REPAY YOU? SHALL I SPARE YOU FROM THE HORRORS I PLAN TO UNLEASH UPON THIS WORLD, WHICH REFUSES TO RECYCLE?" Recyclops moves his twin blades closer to Jim's scrawny neck. Jim finally reacts and runs out the door screaming. Recyclops stands there, silently, for a moment before re-sheathing his blades. He then calmly moves his hands towards his head and lifts - revealing his head to simply be an elaborate helmet. Dwight, looking a little sweaty and flushed but otherwise fine, smiles. Still in the rest of the costume, he heads to the break room to get a mop to clean up all the anti-aging cream. Dwight explains that he "always keeps the Recyclops costume ready" and that he has also been studying some quick-change stage magic lately. So, as he explains, this was "a perfect chance to prank Jim". Back at the Halpert House, Jim mixes cyanide into a glass of flavor-aid. "Well, I knew this was coming sooner or later. I pranked too hard and the world pranked back at me." Jim downs the poison mix in a single gulp, then sits in the darkness of his home and waits to die.
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Aug 30, 2022 16:32
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Jim finds some tires at the dump and puts the tires on Dwight's car so when Dwight drives the tires explode and he crashes. This prank suggested by Liam, Age 8, of Columbus Ohio. Thanks Liam!
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Aug 30, 2022 19:11
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Jim starts a class on pankration but soon leaves when he learns it is mostly about wrestling
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Aug 30, 2022 19:57
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Jim arrives home at midnight after a long day hosing down Elon Musk (undressed as Waluigi), shucking clams to make into chowders for Famous Original Jim's Soupier than Soup pizzas, and supergluing nanowire filaments individually to fruit flies as preparation for a great prank on Dwight (Jim hasn't successfully pranked Dwight in six weeks due to his busy schedule). As Jim sinks with a sigh into the couch and starts to remove his shoes (extra squeaky today), a flash of lightning reveals a human shape standing completely still in the center of the room, in the dark. Jim cuts short a shriek as he fumbles for the lamp and turns it on. It's just his daughter, Cece. Cece asks Jim to bring him a rubber dog poop from the basement. Jim asks if this can wait until morning, but Cece insists with a steely resolve. Jim heads down the stairs into The Fantabulous Prankatorium of Professor Halpert, but as he is halfway down the stairs, the door slams shut and the lone basement lightbulb explodes. Jim, fumbling in the dark, falls down the stairs and wrenches his ankle. Jim starts to crawl on his hands and knees, searching for a wall or other object of reference, since he is completely blind in the inky darkness. He hears skittering footsteps in the dark. "T- Tiny Jim?" calls Jim. "Mr. Beetus*? Hello?" Jim finds the stairs with his hands. He starts to crawl up the stairs and makes his way to the door. As he opens it, he sees Phillip on the other side, holding a banana cream pie in one hand, and a bloody axe in the other. It is the last thing Jim ever sees.** *Jim's old ventriloquist dummy ** Because Phillip hits Jim in the face with a pie and he falls back down the stairs. In a post-credits scene, however, we see a Tiny Jim licking Jim's fingers. Just before cutting to black, the fingers start to move, indicating that Jim is still alive.
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Aug 30, 2022 20:28
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Phillip (Jim's) pranks Phillip (Dwight's) by placing a whoopee cushion on his (Phillip's (Dwight's)) seat at school. Phillip is sent to the principal's office for delinquent behavior, where he is reprimanded for distracting his classmates with his flatulence.
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Aug 30, 2022 23:58
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Jim announces to the office that as a show of appreciation for their friendship and times together all these years, he will be hosting a BBQ for everyone in the parking lot tomorrow, and that he will be making an old family recipe that is "literally, the best burger you'll ever eat". Stanley grunts at such a bold claim, yet is intrigued. Dwight immediately rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath he isn't going to fall for a food prank again. The moment arrives the next day and Jim happily announces it's eating time! Everyone quickly files out, and holy poo poo, he wasn't kidding, these burgers are amazing! Everyone compliments Jim and are all having a great time. Dwight sits in his car and begins to eat a cold beet sandwich when Jim knocks on the window holding up a burger. Dwight scoffs and Jim shurgs and says "I'll just leave it here is you change your mind, it's the best one, just sort of wanted to make up for some of the crappy things I've done." Dwight scoffs again and waves him away. A seagull steals the burger. Mugging, Jim explains to the camera there was nothing wrong with the burger. It was perfect and delicious. The prank was exploiting years of carefully curated distrust to rob Dwight of a once in a lifetime experience, all at Dwight's own free will.
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Aug 31, 2022 01:06
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Who got reprimanded for whose flatulence please explain
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Aug 31, 2022 01:07
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Jim trains for weeks to stretch his lips wide enough to surround the nozzle of a leaf blower. The next day, Jim brings a leaf blower to work. He stuffs the entire leaf blower nozzle into his mouth, turns around and moons Dwight. Jim switches on the leaf blower and blasts the entire contents of his digestive tract (mostly spaghetti and gummy worms) all over Dwight, followed by a massive, continuous fart that goes on for over an hour until the leaf blower runs out of fuel. Jim is dead but everyone can see by his enraptured expression he felt it was totally worth it.
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Aug 31, 2022 01:45
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After weeks of preparation, failed attempts, and gallons of demon pig blood, Jim is finally successful in summoning Prankzilla, the being of ultimate pranking. The next day Dwight receives a phone call asking if Dunder Mifflin's refrigerator is running. The camera pans over to a nearby window where Prankzilla can be seen giggling and holding a phone booth up to his ear like a receiver. Prankzilla takes notice and mugs for the shot. An enraged Jim emerges from the office sprinting towards Prankzilla screaming "You stole my bit you bastard! I'll kill you!!" An unamused Prankzilla simply squashes Jim like a bug. Prankzilla gradually assumes Jim's identity. Everyone at the office loves Prankzilla and soon forget about Jim entirely. Future seasons of the The Office sell gangbusters in Japan.
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Aug 31, 2022 02:44
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Space Kablooey posted:peas pain Jim harasses Dwight with a peashooter that his, Jim's, son made.
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Aug 31, 2022 03:28
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Elon Musk, dressed as Waluigi and absolutely out of his mind on a drug cocktail prescribed by "Doctor Halpert", offers to buy Dunder Mifflin for $420 million and sex with Meredith. The next day he comes to his senses and realizes that he should have asked for Kelly, but it's too late, he's already signed the deal. Jim comes to his rescue but going public with a "whistleblower complaint" consisting of incredibly damaging allegations (that are incredibly convenient in terms of timing) in an attempt to help Musk back out of the deal. Dunder's stock craters and Michael quits in disgust. Elon is able to back out of the deal due to Jim's whistleblower testimony, which mainly consists of Jim blowing a piercing train whistle in Dwight's ear for six hours. The prank on Dwight, as Jim explains to the camera in a closed room later, is that Jim is perpetuating a world in which billionaires never have to pay for their actions, no matter how reckless.
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Aug 31, 2022 03:56
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Well that and the train whistle
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Aug 31, 2022 04:42
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Jim is unable to prank Robert California.
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Aug 31, 2022 06:13
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Dwight is driving to work when he notices a series of detour signs. He ends up getting sent far out of his way, all the way to White Flight Housing Development, where the Halpert House lies. As Dwight continues to follow the detour signs, he sees Jim standing in the road. "Hey, Balloon Boy! Mind giving me a ride to work, since you're passing through?" Dwight feels obligated and drives Jim to work. The next day, the exact same thing happens. This time, however, Jim is carrying a heavy duffel bag with him, which he tosses onto Dwight's lap as he opens the passenger side door. "Hey, Dwight! Jeez, what a coinky-dink! Anyway, I have some work to do on the drive in, if you don't mind. Thanks!" As Dwight starts the drive to work (thanks to the detour, he has another half hour to go) Jim starts opening the duffel bag and removing various electronic devices. After a few seconds, Jim has a microphone, headphones, and some kind of recording device all hooked up to Dwight's car. "Sorry, I need to do some ad reads for Famous Original Jim's. You know how it goes. Work work work, I'm always so busy!" Jim starts a music track playing which drowns out everything except for Jim's shrill, out-of-tune singing. "Yeah, we fancy like Famous Original Jim's on a date night Got that Colder than Cold Pizza and a Maple Syrup shake Get some whipped cream on the top too Two straws, one check, Ki, I got you Bougie like Minions in their overalls" Jim grins like an idiot at Dwight, then repeats this song 12 more times. Dwight dutifully pulls into the parking lot, helps Jim pack his audio equipment up, and then carries it into the building. In a talking head segment, Jim reveals that there's no detour and that he put the signs up. "Technically I'm not allowed within 350 feet of Pam right now, that's why I'm doing this. Well, that and it's funny to have Dwight put all that mileage on his car. But that song? That's real, that's gonna be getting a lot of play on the radio and TV pretty soon." Jim mugs for the camera.
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Aug 31, 2022 13:50
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as dwight hauls in this years' beet harvest, he feels a sharp pain in his calf. slapping at it, he wipes a small bead of blood off his hands and thinks nothing more of it - probably a splinter of rock, or a stray bee. eight months later, an ashen-faced doctor lays out to dwight possible palliative care options to make his remaining time as high-quality as possible. back at the office, jim mugs the camera for no discernable reason.
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Aug 31, 2022 13:56
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Jim deactivates Dwight's almonds.
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Aug 31, 2022 14:12
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Jim injects bat DNA into himself, giving himself giant bat wings. He then launches into the air and attacks Dwight. "Oh man, just like Gremlins 2! Quick, Dwight, toss Jim in some cement!" yells a helpful Michael. Jim is irate. "This is not like Gremlins 2, Michael. I've never even seen that movie, how could I steal anything from it?" "You've never seen Gremlins 2? You just had the idea to inject bat DNA into yourself. Let me guess, you were going to burst out of the wall and leave a Batman symbol behind?" "N-n... yes. But that's not from Gremlins 2. Which, again, I HAVE NEVER SEEN! And even if it was, okay, even it was from that movie? Who cares? Who could possibly care? You're telling me Gremlins 2 is the first time something with bat wings attacked a man, then flew out the wall?" "No, Jim. What I'm saying is Gremlins 2 is the first and only time a character injected bat DNA, then flew out a wall and left the Batman symbol behind. Are you seriously trying to argue that those events have happened before?" "Y-yeah... I mean... well. It could. Have you seen every movie? It could have happened. Maybe Gremlins 2, which I have never seen, was referencing something else? Ever think of this?" By this point Dwight has freed himself from Jim's fleshy wings and returned to work. Jim is so engrossed in his argument with Michael that he has no idea any of this has happened. "Jim, seriously, just admit you're doing a Gremlins 2 thing. It's fine. You've done this kind of thing before, it's well within what we expect of you at this point." "Okay except I've never seen that loving movie, Michael. How could I, when I've never even seen the first one? I'd be completely lost, none of it would make sense!" Michael sighs and rubs his forehead, then throws his hands in the air and walks away. Bat-Jim mugs for the camera. "Now then, time to inject this genetic sunblock into myself so I can attack Dick Miller on the street!" "I knew it!" screams Michael as he bursts back into the room, "that's from the loving movie, Jim! Dick Miller, God rest his soul, is attacked by the bat gremlin on the streets of New York! You've definitely seen the movie!" In a talking head segment, Bat-Jim reveals that he has, indeed, seen the movie. "But I didn't get the hype. It just seemed so.... goofy." Bat-Jim snatches a buzzing fly out of the air and devours it.
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Aug 31, 2022 16:05
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Charles Miner is visiting the office and goes around shaking everyone's hand before he gets down to the days business. When he reaches Jim's desk, Charles offers his hand, only to jerk it back and say "sike" as Jim misses the handshake. "What do you think Jim? I thought I'd try my hand at pranking and see what all the fuss is about. " As Charles Miner makes uninterrupted, unblinking eye contact while waiting for a response, Jim can see no way out. He slowly presses his tounge against one of the cyanide capsules embedded in his wisdom teeth.
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Aug 31, 2022 17:08
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Jim wakes up 3 hours later lying on the table in the conference room. A makeshift IV bag is hanging from the back of a chair, with a line going to a needle in Jim's arm. SODIUM NITRITE is written on the bag. Suddenly Jim feels a shadow looming over him. "So, do you have that rundown?"
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Aug 31, 2022 17:13
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Jim asks Dwight what his favorite Metallica song is, barely able to suppress his laughter. Dwight says it's probably Enter Sandman. Jim then starts bopping his head, then turns to his computer and hits 'play' on a video he's queued up. It is, of course, a youtube video of Metallica's Enter Sandman. As the song begins to swell, Jim pops under his desk and then reappears wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. He's smoking a cigarette and holding a beer in one hand and a kendo stick in the other. Jim tees up to hit Dwight with the kendo stick when it's suddenly grabbed by a firm and powerful hand. Jim turns his head and instantly the cigarette drops from his mouth in shock. It's Charles Miner, and he's pissed. "Jim, you've got time to play dress up, but no time for the rundown?" Jim drops his beer and kendo stick and is utterly at a loss for words. He looks around, tears beginning to form in his eyes. His entire prank, dressing like professional wrestler The Sandman and beating up Dwight, has been forgotten. Why didn't he work on the rundown? He had so much time, he could have done it for once! Charles Miner is now spraying lighter fluid on the top of a table and eyeing up Jim, obviously preparing to powerbomb Jim through a flaming table. Jim begins to scream in terror. Suddenly, Jim wakes up in his racecar bed, coated in sweat. He looks around, he's back home, in the basement of the Halpert House. His "man cave". The comforting sound of a dripping pipe and the familiar smell of black mold calms him down. He stands up and turns a light on, then walks over to a mirror. He's utterly drenched with sweat, his stained t-shirt nearly transparent at this point. "Jeez, talk about a wet dream!" Suddenly, the mirror explodes outward as two powerful arms reach towards Jim. Jim has only a moment to process what's happened - Charles Miner has burst through the mirror and grabbed Jim by the shoulders. Charles' mighty hands clench down like a vice and pull Jim into the black void that somehow lurks behind his mirror. The void swallows Jim and Charles whole and there is no sound at all in Jim's mancave, save for the steady drip drip drip of a leaky pipe.
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Aug 31, 2022 17:21
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Jim installs an extremely elaborate and extremely expensive fountain in the middle of the office. It's stunningly beautiful but the constant sound of running water causes Dwight to have to pee multiple times throughout the day. The camera zooms to Jim, expecting him to mug, but he points his finger at the fountain. The camera then pans over to a marble carving of a cherub, pouring water out of a vase. The face is Jim's.
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Aug 31, 2022 19:08
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 14:32 |
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Jim opens an all night tap dance studio directly above Dwight's bedroom.
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Aug 31, 2022 19:15
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