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3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Biplane posted:

Theyre gonna gently caress that poor kid up so bad, too :(

She's probably not even pregante.

e: I think asking a student for 100 let alone 1000 is grounds for immediate sectioning. Or do American students have money, somehow?

3D Megadoodoo fucked around with this message at 14:59 on Sep 6, 2022

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teen witch
Oct 9, 2012

Motronic posted:

You may think this is the case, but only because you literally don't read and/or comprehend posts that you are responding to. Routinely. You simply don't seem to be able to follow the conversation that is going on around you in this thread and just keep posting things to prove it.

Be nice or be gone

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Or do American students have money, somehow?

American students are broke as gently caress, and the colleges try real fuckin' hard to keep it that way

B-Rock452
Jan 6, 2005
:justflu:
Meth would be wayyy more suitable for a new parent. Longer lasting plus you will be able to clean up everything.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

3D Megadoodoo posted:

She's probably not even pregante.

e: I think asking a student for 100 let alone 1000 is grounds for immediate sectioning. Or do American students have money, somehow?

Uh, no. Any money I had in college was given to me by my parents, other than the relatively small amount I pulled in from my part time job for spending cash. Asking for a $100 gift from me would've been the work of the better part of half a year. $1000 is "You don't really need to eat right?"

sullat
Jan 9, 2012

Malachite_Dragon posted:

American students are broke as gently caress, and the colleges try real fuckin' hard to keep it that way

Colleges are full of people offering credit cards to students tho.

Woodchip
Mar 28, 2010
Thoughts people...

quote:

TLDR - Tricky self discovery as partner does not like/isn't supportive of some things.

Hey everyone. Please be kind! Sorry if it's a bit long for some.

Now, I'm in a committed relationship of over 6 years. We have bought a house together and have 3 lovely children together. We have a lot going for us and really get on well. I wouldn't give what I have up for anything.

I'm in my 30s and most of my life I've not felt like I truly know who I am, like I've been lacking some self identity. Don't think having an, although stable, very unexciting childhood and quite old parents helped with that. (I know I'm fortunate in a lot of ways and it could be worse).

So there was a time during the 00's that I was listening to metal, skateboarding, had a motocross bike etc and I did feel, for a while feel more of a sense of belonging if that makes sense. But as friends stopped skating and did other things/lost touch I kinda moved on too.

In the last couple years I've rediscovered metal, and what I wear has changed a little, have a couple band t shirts/hoodies, snapbacks etc. In those couple years I've also reached a point that I've realised I really want a few tattoos (nothign major, 2 or 3 on my arm). Like I've lived enough of my life now for that. I've enjoyed exploring these things and have felt more in touch with myself and more of an actual real person!

The thing is my partner is not into any of these things, hates the music, really doesn't like tattoos and all of those other vibes. Says that's not who she fell in love with. Which I can understand. She's not mean or controlling about it. Just isn't overly keen if I'm listening to music around her that she really doesn't like, kinda lightheartedly hints at can't you listen to that in your own time. And with tattoos just says she would be hurt if I just went and got one, and she would be less attracted to me with one. So I respect that.

Just finding it difficult in my own head at the moment though. And there have been a few little fall outs over it. Think about these things most days. Love her 100% want to be there everyday for my kids they're my world. Would never in a million years consider leaving or anything like that. No self discovery is worth that. Not about to ruin my relationship. But if it was the other way around I feel like I would be saying if it's something you want/will make you happy then I'll support you. Like that's what one should do right? Support your partner in their pursuits (within reason) even if it is something you wouldnt choose yourself again, within reason. Because I love her for her, not clothes she wears or whether she has a tattoo. It's still her.

Thanks everyone for reading through this. Just after some thoughts on the situation.

Electric Wrigglies
Feb 6, 2015

Woodchip posted:

Thoughts people...

:sever:

deported to Canada
Jun 1, 2006

I would get some rub on temporary tatoos and start listening loudly to baby rock and call it job done.

Christ imagine having an identity crisis where you find you are struggling to fit into a high-school niche.

DELETE CASCADE
Oct 25, 2017

i haven't washed my penis since i jerked it to a phtotograph of george w. bush in 2003

teen witch posted:

Be nice or be gone

that's about the nicest possible response that poster could have possibly received

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

deported to Canada posted:

I would get some rub on temporary tatoos and start listening loudly to baby rock and call it job done.

Christ imagine having an identity crisis where you find you are struggling to fit into a high-school niche.

Yeah but also go get inked and listen to what you want, you're a grown up

ChickenDoodle
Oct 22, 2020

Motronic posted:

Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife wasn’t careful and had an oops pregnancy.

My WIFE wasn’t careful. Not we. Her. Tells you everything you need to know about this rear end in a top hat.

Lottery of Babylon
Apr 25, 2012

STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Motronic posted:

Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife wasn’t careful and had an oops pregnancy.

When I read this I thought he meant his wife was having an affair too. It took me a bit to realize that, no, he got her pregnant and just chose to frame it as if it were all her and he had no involvement.

e:f;b

Cloacamazing!
Apr 18, 2018

Too cute to be evil

Motronic posted:

Dear Care and Feeding,
I suspect my wife is badmouthing me to them, but can’t prove it.

Dude, I don't think she has to.

LawfulWaffle
Mar 11, 2014

Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

When I read this I thought he meant his wife was having an affair too. It took me a bit to realize that, no, he got her pregnant and just chose to frame it as if it were all her and he had no involvement.

e:f;b

But you don’t understand, fidelity is complicated!

Woodchip
Mar 28, 2010
(F29) is my boyfriend (30) of 4 years’s baby mom excessive or am I being irrational?

quote:

I want to start off by saying that I know I put myself into this situation but you can’t help who you fall inlove with. When I started seeing my boyfriend 4 years ago, he had just knocked up his ex girlfriend who he had a FWB thing with. I did not know at the time but…

The background to this relationship is extensive. Long story short- they were high school sweet hearts. He moved on but she never did and she infiltrated his entire life by becoming his sisters best friend, god mom of his nieces, creating relationships with everyone in his family and making herself readily available to him sexually and financially for years with no commitment while he clearly dated other people. After getting out of a different relationship, he hit her up as a rebound were she then got pregnant. It’s no doubt in my head that she felt him slipping away from her and chose pregnancy on purpose.

At the time I had no idea of her true feelings as he assured me they were just friends, she knew about me etc. He was extremely distraught about having a child w her when I met him and tbh I felt bad for his situation as it was clear he was going through a hard time and did not want any of it. I stayed and supported him through it.

Fast forward to now, 4 years later. His son is 3.5 years old. His baby mom and family are closer than ever and make it obvious they hate me. There is only so much he can stick up for me I guess but it’s a lovely feeling to watch another women be treated the way you’d want your partners family to treat you.

Over time I’ve watched his resentment for her wear off and they have developed some kind of ‘friendship’. What I find strange is that her behavior clearly implies she is not over him but he acts oblivious. She buys him Yeezys and expensive gifts for his birthday / Christmas etc. she has bought him underwear and even bought them matching Gucci slides one year (???) he plays dumb because he enjoys the gifts but I find it so disrespectful and it seems obvious to me so I feel like it’s on purpose. She barely acknowledges me and her and his family treat me as if I’m irrelevant.

All of this has caused me a lot of resentment over time that I’d really appreciate advice on. 9 months ago I had an abortion that I did not want to get. It was my first time getting pregnant ever and it was a very bad time financially. I let my boyfriend talk me into one but it has haunted me every day and made watching him w this women 10x worse.

Am I the bad guy for wanting better boundaries? Is it weird that she posts photos of just my boyfriend and their son all over her social media? To me it implies she wants it to look like they are one big family. She makes him do Christmas family photos every holiday, then makes cards to send out. She had my boyfriend throwing the baby in the air as HER Facebook profile picture for an entire year.

I literally hate her at this point and it’s causing a lot of issue with in my relationship. We lived together for over 2 years and I recently moved out because I couldn’t take it anymore after his sister and her tried to throw an Easter party at MY house after years of rudeness and exclusion.

This morning was their sons first day of school and she (once again) posted photos of just my boyfriend/ the kid as an Instagram post. Am I wrong for thinking that’s weird? I’m just feeling really triggered and I can’t confront my boyfriend because I feel embarrassed I even looked at her page.

TLDR; Refer to last paragraph. my boyfriends baby mom is excessive and I can’t tell how much of my feelings are valid vs resentment based at this point.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Woodchip posted:

(F29) is my boyfriend (30) of 4 years’s baby mom excessive or am I being irrational?

e: woops, missed that part of the post.

Okay, OP, you literally can help what you DO about being in love with someone. So :sever:. Never look back!

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

Woodchip posted:

(F29) is my boyfriend (30) of 4 years’s baby mom excessive or am I being irrational?

INFO: does this guy know that he's your boyfriend

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
AITA for getting my aunt and uncle kicked out of their house for not letting my husband and I sleep together?

quote:

I (M27) am married to a man (M28). He is the love of my life. I had only ever dated women before him but when I met him I realized I was bi, and we fell in love. We got married in the fall of 2018, so it’s been almost 4 years. We now live in Vermont.

My whole family is from a small town in Texas, a super conservative Catholic area. I was raised there, but dad got a job in NYC when I was 15. The culture shock was difficult. We went from living in rural Texas to living in an apartment in Manhattan.

My parents didn’t sell our house in TX, they allowed our aunt & uncle who just had their 3rd child to move in while charging them a small rent. In college when I came out as bi, my brother and dad were very supportive. My mom needed some time to accept. The rest of my family reacted poorly at first but came around.

During visits we stayed with my aunt and uncle at my old house, but because we weren’t married we weren’t allowed to share a bed. We didn’t argue, we both would rather make peace. Visiting since, instead of staying with my aunt & uncle we would rent a motel room.

During Covid we did not visit them. But this summer, my parents and bro decided to go visit my hometown again for 2 weeks, & invited my husband and I. I wanted a motel again but my aunt & uncle insisted my brother, husband and I stay with them.

The 1st night sleeping situation was being discussed after my cousins went to bed. My aunt & uncle wanted me and bro to take the spare bedroom, husband on couch. All 3 of us took issue with that.

They snapped that we were not really married because we were gay, & that they had children in the house. They said that it would be a bad influence on their kids. This hurt my husband’s feelings and he started crying & ran out of the room. When my husband ran out, my uncle had the audacity to start laughing. That’s when I saw red.

I started cussing them out so loudly that my young cousins came to investigate. I told them that if they didn’t go apologize to my husband immediately then I was going to tell my dad what just happened, and I was going to make sure to have them kicked out of the house — that was still in my parents’ name.

My bro seconded everything that I was saying. They started backtracking and saying that we were still welcome in “their” house but that we had to follow their rules, I responded that it wasn’t really THEIR house. I told them they were going to be homeless if I had my way.

The kids started crying cause they heard me say they were all going to be homeless, so we left. My husband was on the porch crying, I promised him that I would never subject him to that again.

I told dad what happened. To say that my dad was angry would be an understatement. He served them a notice of eviction for 60 days. I have been getting calls and texts and Facebook messages from my family calling me AH.

I want to know AITA for allowing my young cousins to end up homeless? Is it fair that they have to pay for what my aunt and uncle said to me and my husband?

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 12, 2012

This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.


Has the thread already had the one about the two alcoholics who are "attending meetings regularly" and are also drinking several drinks a night whose daughter unfairly melted down about the combination?

run on sentience
Mar 22, 2022
It is 100% the aunt and uncle's fault they are being evicted. I only think OP is an rear end in a top hat for continuing to yell and threaten eviction in front of the kids instead of just leaving as soon as they came in the room.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Kurieg posted:

AITA for getting my aunt and uncle kicked out of their house for not letting my husband and I sleep together?

I'm sure that if the aunt and uncle went to the local diocese and explain how they are so devoted to their faith that they are willing to become homeless rather than treat a gay couple with respect, they would help them out. :angel:

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
Aunt and Uncle invited OP and his husband to stay explicitly so they could pull this powertripping stunt.

AITA for hosting an fundraiser bluntly saying that it was for a teenager whos parents left her homeless? Her parents are furious

quote:

My youngest daughter is a senior in high school. One of her best friends, Lily, just turned 18 as the school year was starting, and her parents kicked her out of the house that same day.

My daughter told me she was sleeping on different friends couches and talking about dropping out to work a job. So my family took her in so she could finish school. I just can't imagine a parent kicking their kid out like that.

So, after we did that, my daughter and Lily decided to have a community barbecue / bake sale to fundraise for some money to cover food and housing expenses. It wasn't anything I ever asked for but the girls wanted to do something to contribute for groceries and Bills.

The girls made flyers and little promos for social media and they were pretty straightforward about what was going on. They said "Community barbecue / Fundraiser for Lily" and a note from Lily saying "As you may know, my parents kicked me out of the house and cut off any financial support on my 18th birthday, leaving me homeless with no money or car. The "Smiths" gave me a home, expecting nothing in return except that I stay in school and graduate. I wanted to do something to give back and pay my own way!"

Anyway, I shared that on social media and so did the girls and a lot of their friends at school. The barbecue was a huge success, almost all of our neighbors came by, and so many kids from my daughters school, and a lot of our family and family friends. The girls ended up raising several thousand dollars which I ended up putting in an education fund for Lily, where I'm also putting stuff like the cash she gives me from her job 'for groceries' and stuff like that. I'm planning on surprising her with it closer to graduation.

Anyway, Lily's "parents" are irate, they saw that I posted the flyer on the community Facebook page and most everyone in town saw it. I got a call from her dad screaming into the phone at me for 'slandering' their family online. Which I felt like was such bullshit.

I told him to either buck up and act like a parent ought to, or lose my number. He started yelling on the phone again so I hung up and blocked his number.

Then I got a bunch of calls from another number, it was Lily's mom, getting angry at me about how "I don't know what she and her husband have been through, and it was trashy of me to be begging the whole town for money for myself and acting like it was their fault"

I was like "Well, it was your fault?" and she got so angry and said that she and her husband had given their daughter "everything" and she was "ungrateful" which I feel is BS because they ain't even giving her a roof over her head.

AITA for letting my daughter and her friend who was kicked out at 18 host a fundraiser that was very blunt that it was to raise money after her family kicked her out?

Lone Goat
Apr 16, 2003

When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.




ChickenDoodle posted:

My WIFE wasn’t careful. Not we. Her. Tells you everything you need to know about this rear end in a top hat.

it doesn't tell you anything at all.

if she's on the the pill and forgot to take them, it's on her. if he doesn't want to wear a condom and tries and fails to pull out, it's on him. if they didn't get an abortion, it's on both of them. if they can't get an abortion, it's because of the lovely government. more information needed.

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Kurieg posted:

AITA for getting my aunt and uncle kicked out of their house for not letting my husband and I sleep together?

yum yum delicious hand

deported to Canada
Jun 1, 2006

Kurieg posted:

AITA for getting my aunt and uncle kicked out of their house for not letting my husband and I sleep together?

Is it really homeless? Couldn't they just like pay rent to live somewhere else? Is this just a technicality? I moved places before between rentals but I've never described myself as 'homeless' while in the process of moving. I think OP is making it sound worse than it is.

deported to Canada fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Sep 6, 2022

ShootaBoy
Jan 6, 2010

Anime is Bad.
Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.

deported to Canada posted:

Is it really homeless? Couldn't they just like pay rent to live somewhere else? Is this just a technicality? I moved places before between rentals but I've never described myself as 'homeless' while in the process of moving. I think OP is making it sound worse than it is.

An 18 year old getting tossed out on their rear end(probably just days or weeks past their bday) is not the same as moving, hth

deported to Canada
Jun 1, 2006

edited my post so it's clear who I was responding to, hth

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard

ShootaBoy posted:

An 18 year old getting tossed out on their rear end(probably just days or weeks past their bday) is not the same as moving, hth

I think they were talking about the homophobic Texan aunt and uncle, not the couchsurfing teenager.

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 12, 2012

This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.


deported to Canada posted:

Is it really homeless? Couldn't they just like pay rent to live somewhere else? Is this just a technicality? I moved places before between rentals but I've never described myself as 'homeless' while in the process of moving. I think OP is making it sound worse than it is.

The current rent sounds like it's below-market; "a small rent".

monkeytennis
Apr 26, 2007


Toilet Rascal

ChickenDoodle posted:

My WIFE wasn’t careful. Not we. Her. Tells you everything you need to know about this rear end in a top hat.

Yeah and MY WIFE lost the baby, my miracle son. What a colossal arsehole.

AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

Homophobic aunt and uncle would be considered at risk of homelessness, but not actually homeless until they're out of the house and don't have stable, safe, and adequate housing. Sucks for the kids, but their parents have 60 days to figure poo poo out.

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

deported to Canada posted:

Is it really homeless? Couldn't they just like pay rent to live somewhere else? Is this just a technicality? I moved places before between rentals but I've never described myself as 'homeless' while in the process of moving. I think OP is making it sound worse than it is.

Whoops missed your edit, yes absolutely in the case of idiot aunt and uncle

Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006

by the sex ghost

Kurieg posted:


AITA for hosting an fundraiser bluntly saying that it was for a teenager whos parents left her homeless? Her parents are furious

I remember an anti-Millennial trend 10-15 years ago where parents in various forums/comment sections would brag about how their own kids would be hard and ready for the real world. To that end, their own gift on their 18th birthday would be a set of luggage and being told to get the gently caress out. I was really hoping never to hear of it again.

Why even have kids if you loving hate them so much? Plenty of us don't and it's fine.

Shifty Pony
Dec 28, 2004

Up ta somethin'


AngryRobotsInc posted:

Homophobic aunt and uncle would be considered at risk of homelessness, but not actually homeless until they're out of the house and don't have stable, safe, and adequate housing. Sucks for the kids, but their parents have 60 days to figure poo poo out.

Considering that the eviction process in Texas can run start to deputies dump you on the street in 19 days, they are being given a pretty reasonable chance to find a new place.

You only have to give 3 days notice to vacate before you can file with the court for eviction.

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 12, 2012

This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.


AITA for accusing my stepdaughter (F14) of "attention seeking" while she was in the hospital?

quote:

I (F35) have been married to my husband (M32) for almost a month now. My husband has a daughter (F14) who attends therapy full time. My stepdaughter and I have always had a rocky relationship, It started declining a month ago when my SD got admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

I don't know the details of why my SD attends therapy but I do know shes been diagnosed with multiple emotional disorders that make her difficult to live with. It's like walking on eggshells in my household due to her emotional stability, anything can "trigger" her into a meltdown and I'm worried its affecting my childrens home life.

I am a recovering alcoholic and so is my husband, we do attend meetings still and both go to regular therapy. We've agreed that a few drinks a night will not hurt us and so far we've had no issues with my other 3 children. Last month my husband and I had a few more drinks than usual and my SD had an absolute meltdown, she was screaming at both of us calling us horrible names before she locked herself in the bathroom. I'm not going to say what happened after that but you can piece it together.

The entire situation was extremely traumatic for me, my husband, and my biological daughter. While my husband and I were recalling what happened to the hospital staff I let it slip that I personally thought that the whole situation was dramatic and I think my SD was doing it for her fathers attention. My husband backed me up on this. Everything seemed fine but as we were about to have my SD transferred to a psychiatric unit and a nurse approached us and told us that we were horrible parents for saying that about my SD.

My husband and I reported the nurse for saying those things but my biological daughter keeps telling me that what I said was "hosed up." Are they right? Am I the rear end in a top hat?

AITA for taking seemingly abandoned items sitting in a hotel hallway?

quote:

My friend and I just returned from a long weekend holiday on Hilton Head Island, SC. We stayed at a nice resort on the beach and it was very busy - the hotel was at max capacity with hundreds of rooms, all full.

We live in Georgia and so were able to make the 5 hour drive rather than fly however there are several nearby airports and we met people from all over the country on vacation there.

We stayed in a room on the fifth floor. Walking from the elevator to our room, I noticed a wagon with beach toys, boogie boards, and a couple of chairs sitting conspicuously in the hall along the way to our room. Note - not in front of any particular room, kind of in between rooms. I ignored it and continued to my room.

This wagon stayed UNTOUCHED for more than 48 hours. It was there during the day and evening, the items looked almost brand new. I began to wonder after several days if it had been abandoned there by past guests who perhaps had to fly home and couldn’t carry these things along with them.

After THREE DAYS of no movement of this wagon or any indication that the items were being used (no sand in the wagon or on the toys) I thought “well no one is removing this from the hall and no other rooms are treating the hallway like their personal closet so maybe they’re up for grabs”. I just took the chairs because I wasn’t traveling with children and I thought someone else might benefit from using those. I thought about leaving a note but didn’t - BIG mistake.

Today, we packed up our things and called a bellhop to help us to the car, the chairs stacked alongside our luggage on the luggage cart. I ran down to get the car and pull up to the front to load up our belongings. Suddenly a man rushed up to me, aggressively pointing his finger in my face and said “Your friend said you found these chairs? Tell the truth, don’t lie.” Taken aback, I responded, “Yes, I found them in the hallway.” Almost before the words were out of my mouth he screams at the top of his lungs, “You LIAR! These chairs were in front of room XYZ and you STOLE THEM from me!” I immediately apologized and started to explain that I thought they were abandoned and didn’t mean to steal them from someone who was using them etc but he refused to hear any of it and continued to scream that I’m a thief and I’m lucky he’s not pressing charges. I was mortified and genuinely felt awful but was so in shock at his incredible reaction that I eventually walked away to tip the man helping us with our bags. I got into my car and drove away, almost in tears but also feeling angry and confused at why someone would leave something that was CLEARLY so valuable to them in a common area of the hotel.

AITA Reddit? I honestly don’t know and I can’t stop thinking about it!

ETA: I did ask the cleaning staff about the items and they said they didn’t know who they belonged to. I know that isn’t worth making the assumption that I did.

Also, my assumption was based on the fact that not a single other person in the resort was leaving personal belongings in the hallway like this.

Edit 2: Ok all, I get it, I’m the AH and a dirty, rotten, terrible thief.

Some people come to this sub for validation or clout (like the clearly NAH) but some of us come here for genuine opinions and feedback to make ourselves better. I realize what I did was not right and have read every single comment here.

Many of you criticize my character, intelligence, and maturity. While I freely admit I made a mistake (and literally came here to post about it for strangers opinions), please don’t resort to name calling. It is hurtful and violates rule #1.

I will take away from this that IATA, not a victim, and be more respectful of others in the future. Better late than never and lesson learned. Thanks.


AITA For cancelling someone visiting me when they’ve been late for 6hrs?

quote:

NOTE THIS HAS BEEN RESOLVED, UPDATE IS IN THE END. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR FEEDBACK I APPRECIATE THE PERSPECTIVE :)
A friend wanted to visit my house, so we made plans for them to visit my place for a sleepover. It was just a casual thing we do ever so often. In fact they live a bike ride away—very close by.

They were to get here after lunch, and at 1pm I got a message saying they just woke up. Followed by them saying they’ll do some chores first. I said sure, I’m just home anyway, what’s an hour or so between friends?

4pm they said they’ll arrive around 6-7pm. And by that point I was already upset since it took four hours for them to say they’d be here even later.

I thought I could be patient, but no I was already getting hungry for dinner and at 6pm they still werent here. So I told them we should just cancel this whole sleepover. I said to them I was upset, and I didn’t want to take it out on them so I would like space to just process my feelings. Their reply was “Aw, I already packed.”

Am I the rear end in a top hat for cancelling the sleepover to process how upset it made me they were six hours late?

UPDATE 9/6/2022 They pushed through with the call (by that i mean they asked to call me earlier, they took a while, but they were able to in the end): they explained to me what happened (they assumed that it would be okay to wait four hours cus i was just at my place, and ok to wait two more for their ride to get them). I explained how it made me feel, why that made me feel that way, and what i would like to be done.

They didnt realise they were being selfish and inconsiderate, they genuinely said sorry, said they’ll avoid it happening again (“actually i think i should fix this, i might have done this to my brother once too”), and asked me what they could do in the future in case they take a long time in something again. I said to keep me posted, text me regularly at least cus i didnt know what was happening in those 6hrs, maybe they were having an emergency, maybe they were practicing rhe marimba. Idk!

TLDR; two adults had open and honest communication about the issue (one of those adults, me, was worried asking for boundaries was an rear end in a top hat thing to do) and the adult at fault took accountability.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Kurieg posted:

AITA for hosting an fundraiser bluntly saying that it was for a teenager whos parents left her homeless? Her parents are furious

Parents have found this I'm guessing (or just lovely Redditors)

quote:

Info: Was this teen a little poo poo who made life hell for her parents?

OP posted:

I frankly don't care, if you have a kid, you need to be ready to be a parent for life.

Every teenager acts like a little poo poo at some point, guiding them through that is part of what you sign up for as a parent

quote:

Nah at some point people are responsible for their own lives and actions. Is 18 the right time? Depends on the circumstances.
---

quote:

NAH- OP- I was going to side with you at first but in seeing your response to comments I'm getting a view of you as a somewhat unreliable narrator. We don't know what Lily did at her parent's house. I'm not giving a carte blanch "under no circumstances do you kick a kid out at 18". Nope. So I don't know if she deserved it or not, you don't care. That's fine but I can't give you a pass on publicly calling out her parents without that information.

OP posted:

I never heard of any misbehavior at home. Also she's one of the kindest most hardworking and generous kids I know

quote:

Then what did her parents mean in their response to you.. "you don't know what we've been through" or words to that effect? Surely there's something there, they have their side as to why.

OP posted:

I dunno, they couldn't calm down enough to talk rationally to me

quote:

well, that issue is where the rubber meets the road. Until you know their story, you don't know whether what they did is reasonable or not.

to be clear- I'm not faulting you for taking the girl in or helping her out- far from it, that sounds all very generous and positive and god bless you for it- but what you asked about was your treatment of her parents. And frankly- without knowing their story, you called them out in a public way. Within the context of the question as asked- that makes YTA.

Not OP but also not this jerk posted:

Absolute nonsense, kicking an 18 year old out onto the streets with no warning can never be justifiable.

quote:

That's ridiculous. First of all, how do you know there was no warning? You have zero idea of what has gone on in that household. You are making assumptions as to things we do not know. There are plenty of reasons to kick someone out. She could have been stealing from them, lying to them, being disrespectful to an untenable degree. 18 is a legal adult, not a child. The point is that OP doesn't know any of this either but she put it out there.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
AITA for being a "greedy friend"

quote:

I (25F) is good friends with M (24F). M needed my help in learning few financial concepts for her upcoming exam and I agreed. We spent roughly 2-3 hours during the weekend for 2 weeks for this.

After our sessions I tested her knowledge and her concepts were much more clear than before. I told her I was glad for her progress and joked that maybe I can be a teacher someday.

She told me I am not really a great teacher and it's more of her hardwork. Her statement was hurtful but in the moment I let it go. A few days later she asked me again to teach her but this time I refused. She asked me the reason and I told her I did not even get a proper acknowledgement the last time I taught her.

She asked me what I was expecting and I told her I was expecting a thank you and if she was being genours she could have paid for the food we ordered the last time I was teaching her at her own home. She got mad and told me she sees me as a "friend" and not a "tutor" so I should not have had the expectations in the first place. She also said I can afford to pay for my food so I am being greedy.

I told her it is not about the thank you or the food but the fact that she does not even think I am going out of my way for doing something good for her. We have not talked for 3 days and our mutual friends are divided over this.

AITA?

Kuros
Sep 13, 2010

Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

Kurieg posted:

AITA for being a "greedy friend"

Lmao, "You're a lovely teacher, please teach me again."

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Electric Wrigglies
Feb 6, 2015

Kurieg posted:

AITA for being a "greedy friend"

One financial concept that the student is struggling with is don't bite hands that feed.

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