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Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

olylifter posted:

AITA for refusing to let my husband pull 14k out of my account without signing a contract?

quote:

NTA, but I've got to know before I start spinning salacious suspicions of drug addiction, gambling problems, mafia involvement, fake job, secret second (or would it be fourth?) family and get accused of jumping to conclusions:

What were the reasons behind his divorces?

I'm glad he's refusing to sign a contract. Use that as your excuse to refuse to give him the money, because you will never see it again.

OP posted:

Hello! The reason for his divorce was due to infidelity. the second one ended due to several reasons including finances, age gap, dating period. He has 4 kids with his first wife and 2 with his second. We don't have any kids.

quote:

infidelity on his side? or his exes side?

OP posted:

Both. It's a long story. Basically he cheated on his first wife with his second wife. They got married in a hurry, had 2 kids then got separated. I met him when he was 38.

for more info, he cheated in retaliation of his first wife cheating on him. He regretted it saying he wanted her to feel the same hurt she caused but then he got involved with his second (ex) wife deeper and deeper and it resulted in them having kids then they split up later.

Real loving winner there, OP. I can see why you just had to put a ring on that.

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Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Well fortunately the third time's the charm, as they say

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
AITA for refusing to let my parents meet my baby?

quote:

Throw away.

So I had my son 2 months ago. My family hasn’t seen him yet. I’m refusing to let them . They’re calling me an AH for depriving them from their first grandchild and depriving my son of a loving set of grandparents.

I’m the oldest of 3. f30, f28 and m20. When I was 25 a guy from college asked me out. I declined because I wasn’t interested. We stayed friendly even though he was very cold towards me afterwards. At one party about a year ago I had my sister with me. That’s where she met him. She knew who he was already but this was the first time they met. They started dating shortly afterwards. It was when my sister changed towards me. She avoided me especially when her bf then fiancé then husband was around. I was never invited to their parties and they never attended mine. When she got married I wasn’t invited (tbf she had a very small wedding). I tried to reach out to her and tell her that I missed her and that I wanted her in my life but I found out later that she was worried her now husband still had feelings for me.

My parents didn’t only stay out of it but it became more and more obvious that they chose her. It broke my heart and I tried many times to show them that this was hurting me. Anyway I was excluded gradually from everything. When I got married last summer, I sent invitations to everyone but only my brother showed up from my immediate family. My sister’s husband turned 30 and had a big party the same weekend. My parents chose that party. I basically washed my hands and started to live like I didn’t have a family save for my little bro. I stopped completely reaching out and they never contacted me either. They didn’t even know I was pregnant until they saw pictures of my son on social media.

Now I have my son my family wants a relationship again. My mom is calling and crying first to me now to everyone else calling me an AH and cold hearted. When I confronted her about favoritism she denied it and told me it was all in my head. That my sister is sensitive and that they kinda understood where she came from with her husband’s situation but that they never favored her over me

Yeah right

Edit: my sister lives next door to my parents and that’s why I was being excluded often.

it was all in your head that we didn't show up to your wedding

Pomme de Terror
Sep 30, 2021

Well, one of us must have killed him!
AITA for thinking it's fair that I get a larger portion of food than my sister?

quote:

My sister and I recently had an argument that got very heated about whether or not I deserve a larger serving size when we have dinner.

We were both having salmon and she put hers in the oven before i did, when i put mine in i noticed that the pieces were quite small, however she said she was entitled to half of it since it wouldn't be fair that we have different amounts if we are both hungry.

For reference I am around 6'1 and she is around 5'4.

I tried to explain that we have different dietary requirements because I'm bigger and that the degree to which I would be hungry would be greater than the degree to which she would be hungry if we had the same portion size, though she insists that it's only fair that she shouldn't have to sacrifice her half for me, though I think i'm sacrificing by letting her have half in the first place. She says that i should supplement my food with something else if I need more food but I don't see why I can't say the same thing to her?

We both basically think each other is being selfish and it doesn't really seem like we can resolve this disagreement, so AMITA?

Edit: Ok i've been convinced that I was wrong, the main thing that convinced me was that it Isn't her responsibility to make sure I'm full, which is true, It's my responsibility. I think I'll start buying my own groceries.

Also I never meant to say she should have no salmon, it seems like some poeple interpreted it that way, I just meant to say I should get a bit more.

Just so you guys know, she did get the salmon, not me, so don't worry about that.

*gasp* They can learn?! :eyepop:

Credulous Skeptic
Oct 31, 2012

Acinonyx posted:

I don't believe I have any friends that wouldn't have made fun of me needing a ride for a vasectomy, and that would have been fine/great depending on the quality of the jokes because I'm not a self-serious goober.

Not every man is you. Some of us got to experience terrible childhood trauma, so I'm not going to poo poo on someone who's having ~~feelings~~ about their genitals being under the knife when and their partner fucks off after promising to be there.

And yeah, I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next month - my doc prescribed Valium to take beforehand and I MUST have someone responsible to drive me home. Not optional.

Borosilicate
Aug 26, 2022

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
The surgery isn't the point, the anasthetic is. You're supposed to have someone trustworthy drive you home after any anasthetic surgery, it doesn't matter what type it is. Most offices won't let you leave with an Uber or whatever.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
Of the ten guys I’m close to that got vasectomies, I know one whose wife divorced him and his second wife wants a baby so he’s had an operation to get it reversed and is hoping it worked, one who got a surgical site infection that made his sack swell up to the size of a grapefruit, and one whose surgeon hosed up and left him impotent. I know the actual stats indicate a way lower rate of complications but I can’t fault anyone for being apprehensive about getting the surgery even if it is outpatient.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



AITA for not wanting to sleep in bed with my fiancé who is an ironworker and hasn’t showered for two (or more) days?

quote:

So my fiancé is an ironworker, he gets very dirty. Often covered in dirt, oil, metal shavings, he sweats all day, his clothes are disgusting, his feet smell rancid. He works a lot of hours, so he will skip showers a lot. Tonight after work he went straight to his friends house for a few hours and just got home. When he got home I asked him if he was going to shower because it’s been at least two days. He got mad at me for asking this and insisted he will take one tomorrow. I say okay that’s fine, I’m going to sleep in my step daughters bed then. I’m not mad at him, I just don’t want to sleep next to him like that. Well, he is so mad and won’t talk to me directly but is muttering under his breath about me. Like sorry but I think if you can go hang out with your friends you can also take a shower?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's fine to be mad at oily metal shavings guy, perhaps something you should even consider doing

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
well thank god he's not a sewer worker huh

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for not wanting to sleep in bed with my fiancé who is an ironworker and hasn’t showered for two (or more) days?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's fine to be mad at oily metal shavings guy, perhaps something you should even consider doing

There has to be some kind of OSHA regulation about loving showering every X hours when doing the kind of work that covers you with loving metal shavings.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
i'd love to have that guy over for a couple hours

just opening all the windows and calling the county to dispose of the couch after he leaves

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


therobit posted:

Of the ten guys I’m close to that got vasectomies, I know one whose wife divorced him and his second wife wants a baby so he’s had an operation to get it reversed and is hoping it worked, one who got a surgical site infection that made his sack swell up to the size of a grapefruit, and one whose surgeon hosed up and left him impotent. I know the actual stats indicate a way lower rate of complications but I can’t fault anyone for being apprehensive about getting the surgery even if it is outpatient.

Either you're close to a lot of people or a weirdly disproportionate number of people you are close to are males who have had vasectomies

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000


Ultra Carp

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for comforting my ex

There's stepping on a rake. Then there's walking out to the shed, finding the rake, dragging it out from the back where it's been collecting dust, going into the yard, getting a really good wind-up and intentionally belting yourself with it hard enough to concuss

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Vim Fuego posted:

There's stepping on a rake. Then there's walking out to the shed, finding the rake, dragging it out from the back where it's been collecting dust, going into the yard, getting a really good wind-up and intentionally belting yourself with it hard enough to concuss

Ah I see you too have been reading QCS

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3
AITA for not eating his beans?

quote:

My boyfriend made tacos for dinner and I was very excited to eat them together since I had been working all day. He then presents the taco to me and says “I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this. Literally.” And then laughed. I said “blood?” And he showed me a cut on his finger he said he got while chopping onions. “A few drops of blood got into the beans,” he said “but it’s okay. The beans were very hot so I know no bacteria survived.”

I then told him that I’m not eating the tacos because I don’t want beans with his blood in it. I don’t know much about cooking or bacteria, but I do know that blood is considered a big biohazard in culinary. My source: many food network cooking competitions. When a chef got a cut and any blood went in the food, the whole dish had to be tossed. He kept trying to convince me that it’s safe and said “we have sex and share germs all the time, how is this any different?”

I continued to refuse to eat it. He said I was overreacting and that he put so much work into making it and it’s upsetting to see it all go to waste. I just don’t wanna eat blood.

AITA in this situation? Am I overreacting and it’s actually okay to eat the beans?
r/relationships: blood, sweat, and beans

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?

Mr. Lobe posted:

Either you're close to a lot of people or a weirdly disproportionate number of people you are close to are males who have had vasectomies

I can think of 3 friends who've had one off the top of my head and that's with me never having once asked about it. I think its just an old person thing

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for not eating his beans?


r/relationships: blood, sweat, and beans

The fool jeopardized the beans

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Ah I see you too have been reading QCS

Looks like those clowns at QCS did it again! What a bunch of clowns.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Looks like those clowns at QCS did it again! What a bunch of clowns.

They don't call'em "Quality Clown Services" for nothing!

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000


Ultra Carp

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for trying to make my kids nanny less fun?

Dear reddit, would I be the rear end in a top hat if I try to make my children learn that life is a joyless, depressing slog?

Mary Poppins remake sad af

torgo
Aug 13, 2003


Fun Shoe

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for telling my friend his sons aren’t good enough

quote:

So, here’s where I may be the AH. Towards the end of the party, he said (in front of 2 of my girls and 2 of his sons), good thing you made my boys a bunch of girls, maybe they’ll get married someday and carry on the [John’s last name] name! My response was less than stellar: well, your sons aren’t really good enough for my girls (I’ve since looked up comebacks online and wish I went with something better, like if I wanted to hear from an AH, I’d fart). I said it straight face, and he just said guess your sensitive like your girls and walked away.

This is from a ways back, but that just slayed me. I love the guy apparently found a transcribed copy of "Clever Comebacks for Cool Cats", circa 1968. He was even willing to go all the way by picking one from the "Delightfully Dirty" chapter. He should totally engineer the same situation happening again, ala George and the idiot store comeback, so he can deliver this bon mot of the ages and totally destroy his friend.

For real though, maybe delivering the original comeback was a bit weird to do in front of the sons, even if it did correctly put the dad in his place.

The Maroon Hawk
May 10, 2008

lol I missed where he said it in front of the guy's sons, that's some high-grade collateral ownage

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
With any luck it will help his kids realize their dad is a chode and they shouldn't listen to his sexist bullshit.

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


AITA for leaving after I found out my SIL was lying about her food allergy?

quote:

I, (F18), turned 18 in early August.

For my 18th birthday, I wanted to go out and celebrate with my family by going to my favorite Chinese restaurant.

I'm quite a picky eater (I'm autistic and have issues with textures) but any type of Asian food is safe food for me. When it comes to more Western cuisine, I don't have a lot of options unless I make it at home.

Everything was organised and ready to go, but a week prior to my birthday, my brother's fiancée Vicky (F27) said that she can't go. She said she has a seafood allergy, and after contacting the restaurant, they said they can't realistically cater to her and politely advised that she doesn't eat there.

Vicky and my brother suggested that we go to this Italian restaurant instead. Everyone was on board but...I hate Italian food. The textures of cheese, pasta and just all of it is just gross to me.

I got upset because it was supposed to be a dinner for my birthday, and it was like I got forgotten about. I talked to my parents and they told me to stop complaining, Vicky can't help having an allergy.

I sucked it up and went. I spent my birthday miserable, and ended up just sneaking in my own snacks into the restaurant.

Well, last weekend I spontaneously went over to my brother's house with no warning because I had forgotten my hoodie there from a few days prior.

My brother let me inside and I saw Vicky sat on the couch scoffing tuna like it's nobody's business.

Me: I thought you were allergic to seafood?

Vicky: What are you talking about?

Me: My 18th birthday last month. You said we couldn't go to the Chinese restaurant because you're allergic to seafood.

Vicky: Well I'm not medically allergic, I just can't stand the smell of all those shrimps and prawns. It makes me feel nauseous.

Me: So you ruined my 18th birthday because you don't like how seafood smells. Wow.

I stormed out and blocked Vicky and my brother on everything. I couldn't believe this.

I talked to my parents. They think I'm being dramatic, and that it's just a restaurant, and told me to apologise to Vicky for speaking to her like that in her home.

I was so angry, I went to go stay with my bf's family for a few days who very kindly let me stay. My family thinks I went super overboard, and are calling me a brat and entitled. I don't know how to feel.

Was I the AH?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for not wanting to sleep in bed with my fiancé who is an ironworker and hasn’t showered for two (or more) days?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's fine to be mad at oily metal shavings guy, perhaps something you should even consider doing

Enough time to drive to someone's house and spend several hours drinking, but not enough time to shower.

For two days.

Not just an rear end in a top hat, he's a stinky rear end in a top hat.

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

What's wrong with these loving idiots who refuse to clean themselves and act all hurt and offended when called on it?? Just take a shower!!!

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Biplane posted:

What's wrong with these loving idiots who refuse to clean themselves and act all hurt and offended when called on it?? Just take a shower!!!

Its cheaper than buying cologne

rekko
Jul 24, 2022

〜✧・♡・★〜🌟💗・♥・💗🌟〜★・♡・✧〜
❗スゴイ❗
I wouldn't let that man in my house at all. Gross

teen witch posted:

It came from r/legaladvice

I feel dumb for even asking this but what recourse do I have when employees are purposely startling customers?

Processing a return... at a convenience store? What?

Peg Sliderskew
Jan 4, 2010

Credulous Skeptic posted:

Not every man is you. Some of us got to experience terrible childhood trauma, so I'm not going to poo poo on someone who's having ~~feelings~~ about their genitals being under the knife when and their partner fucks off after promising to be there.

And yeah, I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next month - my doc prescribed Valium to take beforehand and I MUST have someone responsible to drive me home. Not optional.

You're not wrong about being allowed strong feelings about a procedure like this. But she didn't promise to be there or even offer to be there. He scheduled a date that suited him and assumed she would be moving heaven and earth to drive him. Apparently she didn't even respond or refer later to his text about the time or date. They both seem very self centered.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

rekko posted:

I wouldn't let that man in my house at all. Gross

Processing a return... at a convenience store? What?

This person provides an extremely muddled account of a confusing thing, so I'm sure it'll turn out when they say convenience store they mean any store that is convenient for them, personally, to access.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

olylifter posted:

AITA for refusing to let my husband pull 14k out of my account without signing a contract?

I (f36) have been married to my husband (m42) for 2 years. I've never been married before him but he was married twice and has 6 kids. He requested our finances to be split. Fine by me, because seeing how he blows through his money is so frusrtating. He says he has kids, commitments and has to provide but I don't think that kids would need that much money to live like the other kids. his bank account is always almost empty, Whileas mine has over 20k. We take turns paying for daily expenses and stuff.

Lately, he's been struggling with money. He borrowed from a number of people including my own brother, about 4k from him just a week ago. he just seemed desperate for money. I asked what the deal was and he said that he needed the money for the kids which seemed fishy since kids don't really need that much money for their expenses. the eldest is 16!!!!!.

He came and asked to borrow 14k from me, Pull it from my account and into his. I tried asking him what he needed the money for but he said it was none of my business, then insisted that he'll return it asap. I said okay, but under the condition, that he sign a contract stating he'll return the money in full. He acted all shocked and offended then went on about how I don't trust him and his word. I told him that's all I got and this was my one and only condition. He kept ranting about how I'm refusing to help and making the situation more difficult for him instead of co-operating. I insisted on a contract to be signed before he even pulls a penny and this morning when I told him this one more time, he blew up and said that we're family and that I should be ashamed for involving courts and lawyers between family. he left the house and was so upset he hasn't responded to any of my calls yet.

AITA for standing my ground with this condition?

quote:

"*UPDATE Hi. So we've talked after he got home and when I tried pressing him to tell me what he needs the money for, he gave the same attitude and said "I don't have to worry about it". I still stood by the condition I made and he called me "loving useless" then stormed off to spend the night with/at God knows who!."

"Throwaway5253541

I am concerned. However, when I bring up my concerns he'd tell me to stay out of it as long as it doesn't affect ne. This was his default answer before he asked for the money."

[question] infidelity on his side? or his exes side?

"Throwaway5253541

Both. It's a long story. Basically he cheated on his first wife with his second wife. They got married in a hurry, had 2 kids then got separated. I met him when he was 38.

for more info, he cheated in retaliation of his first wife cheating on him. He regretted it saying he wanted her to feel the same hurt she caused but then he got involved with his second (ex) wife deeper and deeper and it resulted in them having kids then they split up later."

There's a fair amount more in the comments, he's really a garbage dumpster fire.

edit: :argh: beaten like a Victorian chimney sweep

Pigsfeet on Rye fucked around with this message at 13:29 on Sep 10, 2022

Spalec
Apr 16, 2010

Biplane posted:

What's wrong with these loving idiots who refuse to clean themselves and act all hurt and offended when called on it?? Just take a shower!!!

I never understand people with an aversion to showering. I'll take a shower when I'm clean but just feeling a bit down, because a nice hot shower feel great.

Dr. Stab
Sep 12, 2010
👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀

quote:

I am concerned. However, when I bring up my concerns he'd tell me to stay out of it as long as it doesn't affect ne. This was his default answer before he asked for the money

I think giving him 14 thousand dollars affects you. And, staying out of it would mean not giving him money.

Grape
Nov 16, 2017

Happily shilling for China!

torgo posted:

This is from a ways back, but that just slayed me. I love the guy apparently found a transcribed copy of "Clever Comebacks for Cool Cats", circa 1968. He was even willing to go all the way by picking one from the "Delightfully Dirty" chapter. He should totally engineer the same situation happening again, ala George and the idiot store comeback, so he can deliver this bon mot of the ages and totally destroy his friend.

For real though, maybe delivering the original comeback was a bit weird to do in front of the sons, even if it did correctly put the dad in his place.

I don't understand hanging out with this guy at all, LET ALONE bringing your daughter squad over to hang with with him.
Like there's garden variety sexist, which is bad enough, but this guy is on another level.
Might as well bring your mixed race children over to your old friend, the Grand Wizard's place.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Spalec posted:

I never understand people with an aversion to showering. I'll take a shower when I'm clean but just feeling a bit down, because a nice hot shower feel great.
Not an option everywhere. Say, for example, apartments where every buildings water usage is pooled together and then split evenly between all the residents to pay each month, so Frederick Four-Showers A Day better have a drat better reason for driving everyone's bill up than "I was feeling a little blue".

It's loving stupid and I really fuckin wish my apartment owners would stop loving doing it.

Oh dear me
Aug 14, 2012

I have burned numerous saucepans, sometimes right through the metal

Spalec posted:

I never understand people with an aversion to showering.

I don't like being hit by things, even water droplets. Baths embrace you, showers assault you.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



olylifter posted:

AITA for refusing to let my husband pull 14k out of my account without signing a contract?

Almost certainly crypto, could maybe be stripper/sugar baby, charitably someone's sick and he's trying to protect their privacy.

But it's crypto.

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Not an option everywhere. Say, for example, apartments where every buildings water usage is pooled together and then split evenly between all the residents to pay each month, so Frederick Four-Showers A Day better have a drat better reason for driving everyone's bill up than "I was feeling a little blue".

It's loving stupid and I really fuckin wish my apartment owners would stop loving doing it.

What the gently caress

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer
gently caress I know I reek after I work so I need a shower when I get home, and sometimes I take another before bed if I get nasty cleaning the house or animal stuff. But quick showers, under 5 minutes. Anyone else remember the AITA poster who took like 3 hour showers? HOW? What the gently caress do you do for more than 20 minutes without getting bored as fuckall?





AITA for donating college merchandise to homeless people?

quote:

I go to a quite prestigious international school, one of the best ranked schools in the entire world. Its so prestigious that every year we have a university fair were about 150 universities from around the world fly representatives to have booths to advertise their universities at our school, it lasts from thursday to sunday. The 3 universities I want to go to don't have their reps here. I went around, so did my friends and we collected all the free shirts, hoodies and other stuff. We altogether gathered around 30 shirts and hoodies. Got 4 backpacks as well.

We then went around where the homeless people are and gave it to them. The next day the principal made an announcement during our normal friday assemblies and he said the universities feel very disrespected since they noticed all the homeless people were wearing their merchandise and people from our school are disrespecting them.

the principal called a bucnh of people in individually and asked each one of us who was giving the homeless the university merch. Everyone denied it. We thought it was loving hilarious.

So yeah are we the assholes?

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Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
They started it right in the middle of the goddamn summer, too! Sure hope you can handle being sweaty because cold showers to beat the heat just got put on the "expensive treat" list!

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