Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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google THIS

Yeah, he said "asphincterwhoturnstothedarksidesayswhat" and I fell for it

# ? Sep 5, 2022 04:26

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# ? May 24, 2024 21:14

Iambic Pentameter

/r/relationship_advice: this girl i have a crush on (24F) saw me (25M) in a sailor suit holding a giant lollipop, do i still have a chance??

# ? Sep 5, 2022 07:53

Karate Bastard

What

were you holding it with

# ? Sep 5, 2022 09:45

Karate Bastard

Cause if it was hands then the answer is easy

But if not, then it gets complicated

# ? Sep 5, 2022 09:46

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

"My family was murdered in front of my very eyes and on that day I swore vengeance. What turned you my lord?"

""Well, erm, I just thought that light needs dark and... you know dark needs light and" [sweats nervously] "they're really just the same when you think about it and... you know".

# ? Sep 5, 2022 14:24

Finger Prince

I was washing the windows at the senate building when that Jedi with the purple sword came in with some beef to senator Palpatine's office, and they start fighting and then Palpatine shot lightning out his hands and I was like "Yoooo! These mf's can shoot lightning out they hands?! Brah, count me in!"

# ? Sep 5, 2022 15:37

Trying

Asylum Film presents: Asylum Allegories & Fables

# ? Sep 5, 2022 16:49

Finger Prince

"Well, my dad was a sith, and my grandad was a sith too, so I guess you could say it's the family business, and being the eldest of three brothers it was pretty much expected."
"what about your other brothers? Are they sith too?"
"no, it doesn't work like that. There's just me and dad, until he passes. My middle brother Michael got a job at a big Coruscant law firm through some of dad's connections."
"and your youngest brother?"
"Larry? Ha. He's probably out 'finding himself' at Burning Jawa on Tatooine. That's if he isn't comatose in some back alley deathsticks den. Honestly I don't know why dad doesn't just cut him off."

# ? Sep 5, 2022 17:05

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Trying posted:

Asylum Film presents: Asylum Allegories & Fables

Snowface vs Dwarfmorphers

# ? Sep 5, 2022 17:47

Twenty Four

Finger Prince posted:

"Larry? Ha. He's probably out 'finding himself' at Burning Jawa on Tatooine."

lol

# ? Sep 6, 2022 08:12

Karate Bastard

Finger Prince posted:

"Well, my dad was a sith, and my grandad was a sith too, so I guess you could say it's the family business, and being the eldest of three brothers it was pretty much expected."
"what about your other brothers? Are they sith too?"
"no, it doesn't work like that. There's just me and dad, until he passes. My middle brother Michael got a job at a big Coruscant law firm through some of dad's connections."
"and your youngest brother?"
"Larry? Ha. He's probably out 'finding himself' at Burning Jawa on Tatooine. That's if he isn't comatose in some back alley deathsticks den. Honestly I don't know why dad doesn't just cut him off."

And what about the face paint?

The what? Oh, that. Mask mandate.

# ? Sep 6, 2022 08:44

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

I grew up on a planet where everyone looks like a satan and I just got so sick of people asuming I was evil.... I just thought to hell with it you know, a job's a job.

# ? Sep 6, 2022 14:17

Finger Prince

Legal experts across the country have been debating the validity and purpose of Trump's demands for a special master in the case against him. Well they needn't have, because it turns out all he wanted was someone to piss on him again.

# ? Sep 7, 2022 17:05

The Voice of Labor

ladies and gentlemen, the u.s. justice system

:thejoke:

# ? Sep 7, 2022 17:23

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

Finger Prince posted:

Legal experts across the country have been debating the validity and purpose of Trump's demands for a special master in the case against him. Well they needn't have, because it turns out all he wanted was someone to piss on him again.

a miscommunication in the "last meal" request leads to prison officials dumping a bucket of garbanzo beans over his head

# ? Sep 7, 2022 17:39

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Not wanting to admit you blew up a planet because you pressed the wrong button and doubling down into being an evil villain.

# ? Sep 8, 2022 13:04

Karate Bastard

Palpatine dropping the remote like that armchair guy with the giga cheeto bowl whooOOPS I MEAN HA-HAA! Err... HA, HA-HAA!? *gently caress gently caress fick gently caress gently caress* HA-HAAAAAA????!?

# ? Sep 8, 2022 18:35

baka of lathspell

Prurient Squid posted:

Not wanting to admit you blew up a planet because you pressed the wrong button and doubling down into being an evil villain.

lol

^{join dork order}
_{sig by ??? (<3 u)}

# ? Sep 9, 2022 17:56

Harold Fjord

The Death Star is finished, but it's just one of those floaty training droids like Luke practices against except a trillion times bigger

# ? Sep 9, 2022 19:34

Heather Papps: hello friend

"sneakerheads" but it's hypebeasts with extremely dirty shoes on their heads.

i made 2 photoshops before i thought "these aren't very good" and gave up.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Sep 9, 2022 22:35

Gene Hackman Fan: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

emotional support for this program has been brought to through the courtesy of the following...

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 9, 2022 22:53

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Prurient Squid posted:

Not wanting to admit you blew up a planet because you pressed the wrong button and doubling down into being an evil villain.

Then having a redemption arc, again, because you pressed the wrong button.

# ? Sep 10, 2022 16:08

Karate Bastard

Chihuahueheuhehheheuhe.

# ? Sep 10, 2022 17:56

Karate Bastard

Zuckybergs Meatverse.

# ? Sep 10, 2022 19:06

Karate Bastard

There is precisely one kind of person:

1. Those who can extrapolate inaccurately from incomplete data.

# ? Sep 11, 2022 14:26

Iambic Pentameter

Ok lol I admit I did 9/11. Sorry 💖

# ? Sep 11, 2022 19:58

Karate Bastard

What point are dials to eleven if you only put them at nine

# ? Sep 11, 2022 20:02

Finger Prince

Karate Bastard posted:

What point are dials to eleven if you only put them at nine

You only go to 11 when you want to bring the house down

# ? Sep 11, 2022 20:13

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

A cat that's also a spouse who takes care of three quirky kids and a house that's seemingly always falling apart at the seems.

Life ain't purr-fect but it's a living.

# ? Sep 11, 2022 20:24

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

King of the Hill but it's cats.

# ? Sep 11, 2022 20:24

google THIS

Kramer busts through the pet door, eyes wild, back arched, yowling. Jerry hisses at him and they regard each other for a moment, tails twitching, until Jerry bats at Kramer's face, causing Kramer to spaz and tear out of the room. Slap bass plays as we cut to Elaine, who is in heat

# ? Sep 12, 2022 02:09

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

google THIS posted:

Kramer busts through the pet door, eyes wild, back arched, yowling. Jerry hisses at him and they regard each other for a moment, tails twitching, until Jerry bats at Kramer's face, causing Kramer to spaz and tear out of the room. Slap bass plays as we cut to Elaine, who is in heat

# ? Sep 12, 2022 02:10

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

I feel like there's a panic about misinformation. Facebook routinely corrects posts with links that "supply context" provided by "third party fact checkers". We're told not to self-diagnose and be wary of "fake news".
What we're all overlooking is the inevitable backlash against fact checkers, sticklers and pedants when the tide turns.
A man will point out a wrong comma on a greengrocers merchandise and be met with a bloody nose. Sticklers complaining about a "60's night" on an advertising flyer will be publicly stripped and beaten with a bag of doornobs. Vigilance battalions will patrol the streets, knocking on doors asking if there's be sign of any "rogue fact checkers". Lists will be drawn up. Trials in absentia. The victim will learn of the verdict as a gunman enters their home to deliver the sentence, always death.
Copies of "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" will be gathered up and burned in a re-enactment of a Nuremburg rally. The age of the fact-checker will come to end not with a whimper but with mob fury.

# ? Sep 12, 2022 10:40

baka of lathspell

google THIS posted:

Kramer busts through the pet door, eyes wild, back arched, yowling. Jerry hisses at him and they regard each other for a moment, tails twitching, until Jerry bats at Kramer's face, causing Kramer to spaz and tear out of the room. Slap bass plays as we cut to Elaine, who is in heat

lmao

^{join dork order}
_{sig by ??? (<3 u)}

# ? Sep 12, 2022 23:40

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Trying to convince a straight laced stuck up English professor that dirty language can be funny.

# ? Sep 13, 2022 15:35

Finger Prince

Muad'dib is a verb
Muad'dib is a killing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me a fighter
Fearless on my breath

# ? Sep 13, 2022 15:48

Karate Bastard

Prurient Squid posted:

Trying to convince a straight laced stuck up English professor that dirty language can be funny.

Oh pish posh

Just look them straight in the eye and go "wank"

Works every time

# ? Sep 13, 2022 18:04

Karate Bastard

Probably not

But do report back lol

# ? Sep 13, 2022 18:04

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Finger Prince posted:

Muad'dib is a verb
Muad'dib is a killing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me a fighter
Fearless on my breath

I get it and it's good :nfpa:

# ? Sep 13, 2022 18:58

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# ? May 24, 2024 21:14

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Karate Bastard posted:

Probably not

But do report back lol

It's hypothetical!

# ? Sep 13, 2022 21:15

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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