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Josherino)
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thehandtruck posted:my dude you might have some stuff going on in your noggin (not a judgement, just a description). imo prioritize talking to a therapist or checking out AA before moving to another country yeah there is stuff goin on in the noggin, and plenty else to do with that i could post about. i dont find that observation offensive at all. but i dont think any therapist could convince me that cuba isnt a good move. we’ll see how my posts come across when i’ve got money in the bank account next weekend and can think clearer. but of course therapy is still in my priorities Organic Lube User posted:Now if they were in the US, moving would actually be the better option than waiting on a therapist. lol i dont see how canada where theyre euthanizing homeless mentally ill people is “go to AA and therapy” while USA is “moving is actually better”. seems theyre the exact same hell hole to me. but i guess i’ll start contacting mental health services again (i still have a stack of informational papers and unfilled paperwork from the last time i tried to find “help” through such services) before i contact el embassy. the waiting list is likely much longer now than last time i was able to get on one, due to our increasing shortage of doctors. but yeah it’s a constantly increasing priority. i do find it hard to focus and fill out paperwork and know who to call and what to say and all that proper living stuff. but a systems navigator has been of some help for sure in that department so i will talk to my doctors office tomorrow to see if they still have one. last i talked to a systems navigator + a counsellor was during a program to add free counsellors to a bunch of pharmacies or whatever (where my doctor’s office is, grocery store). the placements may have been temporary, which i find likely, since my doctor never brought up the option on my last visit. the counsellor asked me if i even need counselling cuz im so functional starting new jobs during family trauma etc. then i slept in through our next appointment after a late night working, and didnt go back. the counsellor was really nice but didnt have much to add except to tell me to insist to my doctor to give faster acting anxiety meds for emergencies, which he then prescribed a short term dosage of (lorazapam i think) and it definitely helped me settle into my barback position (bartender without the title) at the time. but i have fear about asking for more cuz a bunch of reasons. some irrational maybe but seems like a p-doc should handle things from there instead
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Sep 5, 2022 05:22
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youngweeed posted:yeah there is stuff goin on in the noggin, and plenty else to do with that i could post about. i dont find that observation offensive at all. but i dont think any therapist could convince me that cuba isnt a good move. we’ll see how my posts come across when i’ve got money in the bank account next weekend and can think clearer. but of course therapy is still in my priorities Glad you're keeping therapy as your first option, but just to contextualize: in the US there are no mental health services that you can just, uh, contact.
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Sep 5, 2022 07:20
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Jorge Bell posted:Glad you're keeping therapy as your first option, but just to contextualize: in the US there are no mental health services that you can just, uh, contact. yeah if i can get a free psych eval thatd be cool but i will have to tell my life story properly for them to consider offering me one if i recall. hopefully something similar to systems navigators still exist. the rest of my free options just told me they had nothing to offer except emotional support and to keep calling the crisis line if it helps (the ones who just send cops)
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Sep 5, 2022 12:55
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I was just reading in a book about bipolar about making big decisions, in this case with manic phases but I'm not necessarily saying that's what's going on, but I just thought it was good advice. The first part is about financial decisions but I think it applies anyway. It says to wait 48 hours but obviously you should probably spend more time than that. quote:During the waiting period, ask yourself: If someone else wanted to do what I am intending to do, what advice would I give that person? What is the worst thing that could happen if I’m not able to follow through with my plans? What is the worst thing that could happen if I did carry them out? The passage of time, your own critique of the situation, and the input of others may help you evaluate the likely success of your financial decisions. This part is more specific to bipolar but I thought it was helpful so maybe it will help someone in any case. quote:Avoiding Major Life Decisions When you have one or more early warning signs, avoid making decisions that could affect your or others’ futures, particularly if these decisions involve meetings with people who have a degree of “fate control.” Now is not the time to ask your boss for a raise or a change in job duties—you are likely to come across as demanding and entitled (see also Chapter 13 on strategies for coping in the work setting). If you are an employer, delay your decision to assemble your employees to inform them of major structural changes in the company. Likewise, avoid making decisions about your family life that could lead to long-term consequences, such as getting married, separated, or divorced; deciding to have children; buying a new house or moving to another city; changing careers; or deciding to home-school your kids. It’s hard to make these agreements with yourself, and even harder to implement them when you feel so good, so optimistic, and so elated. The decisions you feel pressed to make may seem like great ideas at the time, even though to others—or even to yourself when you’re well—they seem unrealistic and extremely risky. You may believe that you’re thinking “outside the box” and that doing so can only lead to beneficial outcomes. Try to think of the pressure to make these decisions, along with your feeling of greater mental clarity, as a part of your illness (especially if you also notice other symptoms, such as distractibility, racing thoughts, or an increase in your sex drive). People with bipolar disorder almost invariably make their best life decisions when they’re in the remitted, euthymic state, and they usually end up regretting those decisions they made while manic or hypomanic. Dixville has issued a correction as of 02:09 on Sep 6, 2022 |
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Sep 6, 2022 02:06
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that is helpful to read and also helpful to share for anyone who may be inspired by my posts to steal my spot on the crazy plane to Cuba so double thank you for sharing  legitimately helpful either which way
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Sep 6, 2022 03:31
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That makes a lot of sense. Many things seem like great ideas in hypomania. I'll mention journaling yet again. I'll write as much as I can about something, and usually learn something in the process. Looking back at that writing is even more revealing. Sometimes I can't even relate to what I wrote the day before. It's almost like having a debate between my more crazy self and my less crazy self. I know moods fluctuate without bipolar disorder too. Maybe if these tools help in those extremes, they prove their usefulness in other situations.
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Sep 6, 2022 03:31
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Uganda Loves Me posted:That makes a lot of sense. Many things seem like great ideas in hypomania. I'll mention journaling yet again. I'll write as much as I can about something, and usually learn something in the process. Looking back at that writing is even more revealing. Sometimes I can't even relate to what I wrote the day before. It's almost like having a debate between my more crazy self and my less crazy self. yeah this thread inspired me to start similar practice in place of attempts at too specific emotional outlet through music. i do end up using the journaling “epiphany” energy to make songs, but i’m finding more self awareness and peace about the process. and stopping myself from talking about things that “should be journaled” as i have in the past, and had similar cringe hindsight, even if it unhealthily sometimes works in favor of artistic effect. it’s not worth the trade off. thank you
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Sep 6, 2022 03:41
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This should be my last wall of text for a while until I get back in the swing of classes. e: dont really need to be that personal on the internet rn
youngweeed has issued a correction as of 21:37 on Sep 23, 2022 |
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Sep 8, 2022 06:14
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youngweeed posted:This should be my last wall of text for a while until I get back in the swing of classes. I do have a mental block on being a self-reference for a psych eval. I feel like my aspired hipster rapper with traumatic past life story is enough, hence why I was told about the option. But I have fear I’ll be taking the spot of someone else in need (same opportunistic fears as moving). And obvious anxiety about telling it that makes me feel ashamed to post too much more without action (none yet for update). I dont understand most of this but therapy can be a lot less intense and painful than the stereotype or tropes would have you believe. There's a huge benefit to talking to somebody who simply isn't crazy and doesnt want anything from you. And you mentioned in a previous post about them trying to convince to not go to cuba or whatever, but therapy is not about convincing you of anything. Advice and convincing are empirically and anecdotally not shown to work, ever, bar none. If you come across a therapist who is trying to convince you to do or not do or think or not think anything, something's up. Neurologically (since western minds rely on this as a crutch) a brain can heal and simply by being seen, being heard. They've done MRI's and EKG's with on people while they're doing therapy and even in the hour where a therapist says basically nothing (except for acknowledging they're listening) people heal. And not to like, diagnose anything but ive known people to express interest in upending their life and moving to a foreign country where they dont speak the language to be currently in a manic state. not saying u are, but its something to consider. Organic Lube User posted:Now if they were in the US, moving would actually be the better option than waiting on a therapist. Is this irony or soemthing? I dunno. Seems dumb. Also kind of tangential but its gotten easier in CA to find a clinician who can prescribe medication. I think there's been a push to create more Nurse Practitioners who can/do prescribe meds. Which is great cause they are a lot cheaper than MD's. That means you get more time with someone who understands your situation and usually get back into a better place faster. Also that means you're usually dealing with someone who isnt 90 and thus understands your situation better.
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Sep 8, 2022 20:40
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I may have just Clouseau'd my way into something good. But I'm handling it as befitting the Appalachian stereotype: bewilderdly scratching my head while I say "well I'll be damned." Edit: basing that on a story my dad told me about how he got tumbled from a tractor as a kid and landed dead on his feet. Gene Hackman Fan has issued a correction as of 00:49 on Sep 9, 2022 |
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Sep 8, 2022 22:44
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thehandtruck posted:I dont understand most of this but therapy can be a lot less intense and painful than the stereotype or tropes would have you believe. There's a huge benefit to talking to somebody who simply isn't crazy and doesnt want anything from you. And you mentioned in a previous post about them trying to convince to not go to cuba or whatever, but therapy is not about convincing you of anything. Sorry for any confusion. I do feel compelled to explain somewhat. While long winded, I don’t think my posts are that cryptic. But that post is definitely assuming some prior knowledge, in a breadcrumb style associated with mania, but worth noting I’m recently diagnosed ADHD. Mostly keeping it cryptic because I was afraid of being doxed, but probably sabotaged myself into it. I was posting to say that professors are seemingly making reference to my recent posts, my first posts here. I understand this is what paranoia is hence why I worded it as such. I will only find out in due time. The film program is insular, and on top of the classmates I’ve discussed Cuba with, there are likely graduates on these forums (most likely CineD or whatnot). This paranoia leads me to accept that worst outcome, and move on. I don’t feel like explaining much more of that as that would be a loop of people quoting me not knowing what I’m referring to and putting further doxable details out there. I’d like to leave those posts with the info they have. My school does have counsellors to talk to, which was something I didn’t mention but know is also a good next step for me. But my responses about therapy were just defending that the dream of moving to Cuba is not so sudden, and while I am gung ho obsessing about it now, I have no urge to suddenly up and move, just a strong will to eventually move there, using it as motivation to build a life towards, not upend anything. Therapy is (as you know) bigger than just counselling, and you’d have to go back a few posts to see where I’ve had a block in attaining a psych eval. I agree it is helpful to talk, and am definitely not afraid of therapy, in fact I long for it. I won’t have money for therapy until after I move home this month, and save up. And then I will need to get referred to a waiting list and yada yada I’m back at my original post. Learning the language has been fun so far. I see no negative effects from that. And is as far as I’ve gotten other than asking around for information and getting some good tips here. Not planning on posting about it any more currently as I am just kinda digging a deeper hole explaining myself in circles e: sorry for not also saying thank you, above. i do appreciate it and bringing to light the moving idea as manic does help as ive seen it happen in family members and sorta cryptically alluded to that in my original post as well, being aware of it being perhaps an unhealthy obsession. i didnt wanna be too specific about my schedule for dox reasons but should have time tomorrow to talk to a counsellor about it for starters… e2 to the thread: my goal is to get diagnosed asap and hopefully school and all this anonymous feedback i can share with mental health professionals helps. when i say all this self diagnosis family background stuff that alludes i might or might not experience hypomania, i 100% feel like i do but have been semi-convinced by my GP it’s just anxiety, or that it could present as that, and i at least know i could be misdiagnosing myself as well so feels wrong to firmly believe it youngweeed has issued a correction as of 01:58 on Sep 9, 2022 |
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Sep 9, 2022 01:02
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youngweeed posted:Sorry for any confusion. I do feel compelled to explain somewhat. While long winded, I don’t think my posts are that cryptic. But that post is definitely assuming some prior knowledge, in a breadcrumb style associated with mania, but worth noting I’m recently diagnosed ADHD. Mostly keeping it cryptic because I was afraid of being doxed, but probably sabotaged myself into it. So yes you do absolutely come across as quite paranoid. I'm going to give you two pieces of advice about potentially getting doxxed on the internet. The first is that very, very few people give a poo poo about you. I understand the concern that people in your profession might not take kindly to your politics. I get that. But frankly from any sort of macro perspective so far you're just some Canadian who is thinking about emigrating. That's nothing. It's not remotely exciting enough for anybody to want to put in the effort to dox you. Even if moving to Cuba seems wild and transgressive, unless you're a billionaire who is planning to take your fortune with you to the island, the only people who care are people who would miss you because you moved away. "Random dude moves to country" is not the sort of thing that really raises a lot of alarms, its just too low stakes. The second is that you can, and should, lie. It's simple and easy, and you're being cagey about PII in a weird way that makes you look more suspicious. You can just say you have x siblings where you have y, that you go to University A when you got University B, that you're a sophomore when you're a junior. Unless you're trying to e.g. claim to be a doctor while giving bad medical advice, nobody's going to notice or care if you do some lateral shifts on the truth. As long as you don't post a selfie and you just confidently say a few wrong things, it's going to be drat near impossible for all but the most devoted stalkers to figure out who you are. And if you do have a devoted stalker, well, that's a different problem.
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Sep 9, 2022 01:27
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Tulip posted:So yes you do absolutely come across as quite paranoid. I'm going to give you two pieces of advice about potentially getting doxxed on the internet. that makes sense. and yeah my paranoia irrationally only goes so far. thanks for the tips. i’m not sure what the other thing where classmates find your cringe posts because you talked about them is called but im also worried about that and making it worse lol. e: not worth mentioning youngweeed has issued a correction as of 02:40 on Sep 9, 2022 |
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Sep 9, 2022 02:12
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lol youngweed you are so crazy, your professors are not reading your SA posts. Baruch hashem if literally anyone in your life cares enough about you to check your post history. Go talk to a therapist. It literally can just be counselling. Like thehandtruck said the benefits of being in a room with somebody you can trust to be confidential and on your side are big on their own.
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Sep 9, 2022 03:14
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youngweeed posted:I’m recently diagnosed ADHD. wait who diagnosed u
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Sep 9, 2022 04:12
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thehandtruck posted:wait who diagnosed u not sure if thats the right term but my GP at least prescribed me stuff that i cant afford right now after i filled out a questionnaire
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Sep 9, 2022 14:36
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I highly recommend seeing a psychiatrist for med management and psych diagnoses. I've had a GP write prescriptions before, but it didn't go very well. Also, I hope there was a lot more than a questionnaire involved in the diagnosis.
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Sep 9, 2022 17:20
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youngweeed posted:not sure if thats the right term but my GP at least prescribed me stuff that i cant afford right now after i filled out a questionnaire Are you taking anything else for it? What you described sounds exactly like what generic Adderall does to me.
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Sep 9, 2022 20:04
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Jimlit posted:Are you taking anything else for it? What you described sounds exactly like what generic Adderall does to me. What does it do?
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Sep 9, 2022 20:06
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skooma512 posted:What does it do? Massively paranoid, depressed and edgy, It's a complete personality shift. New unexplainable fears about people I knew very well started developing almost within a week of my first dose. My fiancé is also ADD and was able to make the correlation to the medicine. Got switched to vyvanse and have never felt the same since. (I just feel broke) Jimlit has issued a correction as of 20:19 on Sep 9, 2022 |
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Sep 9, 2022 20:15
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it was generic concerta i believe, but those symptoms are relatable from when i was on it. my paranoia im expressing is something i can detach from and recognize as “just paranoia”, just have too much anxiety to rationalize it away entirely. currently unmedicated and smoke weed so will update thread when i talk to someone irl about it. thanks for the tips! unfortunately it was pretty much just the questionnaire lol (not uncommon for doctors here). other things i havent brought up yet because our visits are short include relating to spectrum traits etc. i would really like to see a p-doc about all that sooner than later so hopefully i can get myself checked in for a psych eval asap
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Sep 10, 2022 04:07
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Edit; a little more personal than I intended to get on the internet. Not a big deal or regret, but would rather not keep it up.
ricecult has issued a correction as of 17:08 on Sep 10, 2022 |
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Sep 10, 2022 06:05
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ricecult posted:Edited out by mod This applies to me and absolutely everyone in my life, from close family to co-workers to general acquaintances. The pandemic has been an ongoing traumatic event for 30 months now and when there's a threat you can neither fight nor flee from hanging over you that long, it's going to harm pretty much everyone and a lot of people will reflect that outward. Throw in the last year or so of "everything you need to live costs at least 15% more now" and it's a lot for anyone to cope with. That being said, seek a diagnosis if you can and seek help accordingly. Somebody has issued a correction as of 06:59 on Sep 12, 2022 |
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Sep 10, 2022 06:26
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Telling all my coworkers that America deserved 9/11!
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Sep 13, 2022 04:12
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Jorge Bell posted:Telling all my coworkers that America deserved 9/11! Lol i ran into some acquaintances at a festival this weekend talking about the Queen of England and had to literally bite my tongue not to do the Rainman airport scene but with British imperial atrocities
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Sep 13, 2022 04:21
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I finally received a call back from one of the psychiatric offices I contacted weeks ago. I looked up the doc, and they had four 5-star reviews on a website. I don't know how significant that is. The more research I do on what's going on with me, the more I'm in disbelief that my nurse practitioner missed pretty much everything about my bipolar disorder and ADHD. I had to do all of my research and present it to her. At least she recommended a better local pharmacy. CVS is awful. I've been mostly reading and posting in the ADHD thread, as that's my new diagnosis. I've been on Strattera, a non-stimulant ADHD med. Stimulants wouldn't be a great idea with bipolar disorder. I still have ups and downs, but I'm actually getting poo poo done. I'm no longer clicking and dragging poo poo further down the line on my google calendar. I'm just taking care of the stuff I planned, and then some. My environment hasn't been this clean and organized in years, possibly ever. It'd be pretty loving nice to not have to jump through all of the arbitrary hoops to get my basic needs met in a capitalistic means-tested system, but I'm getting a bit better at navigating that. I'm trying for food stamps again. The person on the phone interview kept misquoting me, and expecting me to explain things I didn't actually say. Felt like I was talking to an incompetent lawyer who just wanted to trip me up. I sent them documentation about my last month of income. Apparently the .pdf from my employer claimed my last two months of income took place in a two week period? It's a bummer that so many people in American "social services" only exist to prevent people from getting what they need!
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Sep 15, 2022 18:07
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Uganda Loves Me posted:It's a bummer that so many people in American "social services" only exist to prevent people from getting what they need! My mom was on food stamps when she got out of prison so I was always aware that social assistance programs did exist, but every time I've tried to engage with the bureaucracy of getting any of those benefits I've felt so utterly dehumanized that I gave up. I'm not quite sure whether that's my particular brand of wigglebrains or the system functioning as intended but there you go.
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Sep 16, 2022 01:24
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Uganda Loves Me posted:I finally received a call back from one of the psychiatric offices I contacted weeks ago. I looked up the doc, and they had four 5-star reviews on a website. I don't know how significant that is. The more research I do on what's going on with me, the more I'm in disbelief that my nurse practitioner missed pretty much everything about my bipolar disorder and ADHD. I had to do all of my research and present it to her. At least she recommended a better local pharmacy. CVS is awful. This is pretty much the standard of care for ADHD. There aren't many clinics/practitioners who actually study/specialize in ADHD treatment. The ones that do are generally good and up to date on diagnosis/treatment but they can only take on a fraction people who actually have ADHD. Somewhat fortunately medication treatment alone for ADHD actually has a pretty good success rate compared to any other medicateable brain problem. It's not as good as medication + other strategies that an ADHD specialist/clinic would be able to work in and there's always the pitfall of getting a practitioner who prescribes in a stupid rear end manner or just straight up know nothing about it. It sounds like your NP was in the latter group, but as long as you can do the research and they are receptive, that's way more workable than getting a practitioner who very confidently works off a mix of their own folklore and the DSM-II and either refuses to trial certain medications or just picked a dose at random. You probably already know this from your research, just as a cautionary FYI Strattera/atomoxetine can induce hypomania in the same way that stimulant medications can. On the flip side, it can also be just fine. As can stimulant medications. It's pretty variable and the standard of treatment is that if the bipolar comorbidity is well-treated you can trial stimulant medications and/or atomoxetine and see what happens. But that's with a care from someone who actually specializes in it or has at least some experience with treating it. If you're looking for more research, especially about ADHD + comorbidities like bipolar, https://www.brownadhdclinic.com/ used to be a great resource. Unfortunately they hosed their website up some time in the past few years and now a lot of the articles and pdfs they used to have are missing and it's all hosed up. I think the articles are still in there somewhere and some of them were pretty good (some sucked) but Thomas Brown is one of the more accessible specialists and edited the book on ADHD comorbidities (ADHD Comorbidities: Handbook for ADHD Complications in Children and Adults https://libgen.li/edition.php?id=138373306). It has a good section on pharmacological + other treatment for ADHD + bipolar. You can find all the information in other places but the book is well put together and sourced in case you ever need to cite poo poo for your doctors. It's really too bad he hosed his website up. https://www.brownadhdclinic.com/resources-1 might still have things or you could also try archived versions if you get the inclination. That ended up being more of a screed than I intended. Whoops. Sorry if that's all stuff you ran into when trying to make the case to your NP, but on the off chance that it's useful I'm gonna  . Best of luck!
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Sep 16, 2022 05:07
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Russian Remoulade posted:My mom was on food stamps when she got out of prison so I was always aware that social assistance programs did exist, but every time I've tried to engage with the bureaucracy of getting any of those benefits I've felt so utterly dehumanized that I gave up. I'm not quite sure whether that's my particular brand of wigglebrains or the system functioning as intended but there you go. The thing I say about social services is that any means tested service exists to deny benefits as provide them.
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Sep 16, 2022 05:26
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Oh wow, thanks! I read a couple articles about the combination of bipolar/ADHD, but that's all. In retrospect, I had no idea what ADHD even was. I'm still trying to get up to speed. It's complicated and confusing. I know one can mask the other. I'm trying to differentiate between stuff that's caused by bipolar, and what's caused by ADHD. I'm realizing I had a pretty strong handle on the bipolar disorder. I thought I didn't, because I was trying to treat ADHD through the framework of bipolar disorder. I also wonder if the specific combination of the two creates other outcomes that can't be purely categorized as an ADHD or bipolar issue? I made another post in the ADHD thread earlier today, and mentioned that my NP has been respectful and receptive to my input. That hasn't always been the case with other providers. A number of professionals missed these diagnoses over the years I've been in treatment. My mood has been elevated, but also dipping pretty low based on environmental factors. I'm probably close to hypomania, if not on the low end of hypomania. My recent motivation/focus seems to be fairly grounded and useful. My sleep patterns are OK right now. I'll be increasing the dosage very slowly. I'm journaling and doing my best to keep my NP appraised of everything that seems relevant. I'm thinking about just sticking with my NP. Here's another link to the ADHD thread, in case anyone's interested: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3885798 In somewhat unrelated news, my newish Zoom-based support group is going well. It was mostly an offshoot of an in-person group that had toxic stuff going on, but now it's a separate entity with mostly new people. I finally put together a contact list for people who wanted to be listed, and they're talking about meeting up in person. We had a nice meeting tonight. It's great to see people open up about intensely personal stuff, yet also be comfortable enough to laugh about stuff.
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Sep 16, 2022 05:57
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Uganda Loves Me posted:Oh wow, thanks! I read a couple articles about the combination of bipolar/ADHD, but that's all. In retrospect, I had no idea what ADHD even was. I'm still trying to get up to speed. It's complicated and confusing. I know one can mask the other. I'm trying to differentiate between stuff that's caused by bipolar, and what's caused by ADHD. I'm realizing I had a pretty strong handle on the bipolar disorder. I thought I didn't, because I was trying to treat ADHD through the framework of bipolar disorder. Brown's articles and that book I linked are both very good at sorting through what is the ADHD, what is the bipolar, and what is the combination of them. The book as a quite a few pages dedicated (starting on p109) to ADHD + bipolar and I highly recommend checking it out - it answers your questions in detail. The short of it is that bipolar and ADHD share a lot of overlapping symptoms to the extent that it can be very hard accurately diagnose the combination absent some of the very clear markers of bipolar disorder that are not shared with ADHD (e.g. classical mania, which doesn't overlap with ADHD symptoms, though a poor clinician could probably misinterpret ADHD symptoms as mania). The summary of the treatment section is:  and some bullet points from the end of the chapter:  Also on the topic of figuring out what ADHD is, Thomas Brown's model is pretty useful and focuses on the behavioral aspects/impairments which is a lot more useful when trying to monitor yourself than the other conceptual models or descriptions that tend to be used. https://www.brownadhdclinic.com/_files/ugd/5180ef_b6568fd989ac4166aa9477d6dac3b2d2.pdf is a good overview of the model and https://www.brownadhdclinic.com/the-brown-model-of-add-adhd has a significantly abridged version of it. Also it sounds like your NP is about as good as it gets outside of actually finding someone who specializes in ADHD and is up to date. I've heard plenty of horror stories from people who ended up seeing very confident psychiatrists who hadn't looked anything up since they skimmed DSM-3 in the 70s and filled the rest in with folklore.
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Sep 16, 2022 06:54
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Man my mood swings have been insane lately. Like on the whole I think I'm doing way better than I have most of my life, my lows aren't especially low and my highs are especially high, but its just incredibly unpredictable and I feel kind of insane. Not helping that my sleep is some of the worst its ever been, like I'd describe my sleep these days as "every hour roll a d12 and if a 1 comes up you pass out for an indeterminate period of time"
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Sep 16, 2022 07:08
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Cuttlefush posted:Brown's articles and that book I linked are both very good at sorting through what is the ADHD, what is the bipolar, and what is the combination of them. The book as a quite a few pages dedicated (starting on p109) to ADHD + bipolar and I highly recommend checking it out - it answers your questions in detail. The short of it is that bipolar and ADHD share a lot of overlapping symptoms to the extent that it can be very hard accurately diagnose the combination absent some of the very clear markers of bipolar disorder that are not shared with ADHD (e.g. classical mania, which doesn't overlap with ADHD symptoms, though a poor clinician could probably misinterpret ADHD symptoms as mania). The summary of the treatment section is: As someone diagnosed with adhd and bipolar, this is awesome information, thanks so much for sharing. I think my psych is pretty good, he did tell me some of my adhd or possibly depression based issues were from a lack of self discipline which kinda irritated me but he listens when i ask about trying different meds and seems to be more attentive than some other psychs i have had. I think one was basically one of those "pill mill" type places. Still wouldn't rx quick release stimulants though. I feel like they helped a lot when i was first diagnosed but it seems like particularly in california people are super hesitant to rx those type of drugs. I get it, they are more easily abused but at this point I'm taking caffeine pills in the morning to get me going before the vyvanse kicks in, and you're not really supposed to combine those i think but whatever i literally was showing up late to work cause i couldn't wake up. Anyway i went off on kind of a tangent but mostly wanted to mention i am on mood stabilizers with vyvanse and it doesn't seem to have made manic episodes any worse. I've tried coming off the vyvanse too to see if i actually noticed more adhd symptoms without it and... it did not go well. I usually do well at work but struggle with at home responsibilities and without the vyvanse my ability to work was affected.
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Sep 16, 2022 07:18
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Dixville posted:As someone diagnosed with adhd and bipolar, this is awesome information, thanks so much for sharing. Oh good! Yeah Thomas Brown's stuff is quite good. He's written a bunch of books for parents/educators which are... probably not useful for adults with ADHD but his academic/medical publications are all pretty readable. The ADHD + Comorbities is a pdf you can grab from https://libgen.is/book/index.php?md5=5A7B4643F9546E0DDC582C6BC3F1B712. I spoilered the link earlier and that just ended up breaking it. He also has a few lectures floating around youtube but they're just rehashes of his written stuff. Practices that don't have some focus/specialty on ADHD tend to be very weird about prescribing certain things and also usually don't really have a good concept of what ADHD is. There are conversations about self-discipline that should be had when working with people who have ADHD but it sounds like he was probably just using 'self-discipline' as something that you just need to do more to alleviate your ADHD symptoms. Psychiatrists that don't actually specialize in ADHD or have an interest in it tend to hang on to old ideas about it that they never update. And most practices that don't typically do ADHD treatment get weird about medications too. Vyvanse is schedule 2 just like every other xr or ir stimulant and is just as divertible. Also it's toally fine to also take caffeine if it doesn't cause any issues for you. There's no special interaction with caffeine beyond the typical side effects from taking too much caffeine at normal dosages. Vyvanse takes about an hour to actually start working and it's not uncommon for people to set an alarm an hour before they actually need to do stuff, take their pill and conk back out until the second alarm hits. Speaking of comorbidities, sleeping disorders are extremely common with ADHD (and there's been some cause and effect arguments about whether some forms of ADHD are maybe sleep disorders, sort of) but they never really get diagnosed because it's hard as hell to get a full sleep study that checks for sleep-wake disorders. also there just isn't much you can do about it except that one-hour-early alarm thing. And yeah it's pretty eye opening for people after being medicated for a while and then take a test break to see if they can maybe manage without and then suddenly their brain starts betraying them like it used to. Many such cases 
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Sep 16, 2022 09:53
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Cuttlefush posted:
I started doing this and it was game changing. I still have to take the caffeine but the extra hour really helps sometimes. Yeah honestly the self discipline thing was kinda fair since i was telling him i was playing a lot of video games so he was like "get your poo poo done first" and i was like "okay" and when i tried to do that i ended up sitting around literally staring at the walls cause i couldn't get started on anything. So basically i went from kinda enjoying my days to just feeling like a failure so i went back to the video games. Quality of life is important y'all. Anyway i seem to be coming out of depression and my symptoms are improving so maybe it was depression and not adhd causing it. Executive dysfunction is a bitch.
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Sep 16, 2022 14:41
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Dixville posted:I started doing this and it was game changing. I still have to take the caffeine but the extra hour really helps sometimes. yeah. that's kind of fair to say because when medication is working well it really is a self-discipline kind of thing. if you're unmedicated or if medication need to be tweaked or if it's just an off day/month then self-discipline can't really be utilized if your executive functioning isn't working. that scenario is really common and somone who knew how adhd worked just a little bit beyond the surface level would catch that. oh well. for the record doing something that does actually engage your executive function is generally better than getting stuck in the try to do the thing you want to do, stress, feel guilty, repeat loop. It sorta depends on how much leeway you have but if it's not a matter of jeopardizing income/health/relationships it's okay to not make yourself miserable and play the videogame. the guilty wall staring loop is a trap and never really results in a breakthrough where you can do the thing. usually just makes things worse. and yeah it's pretty disabling when it isn't there. getting medication dialed in helps normalize it to the extent that you forget you ever had issues with executive functioning which makes the periods of time where meds/coping mechanisms don't quite cut it even more frustrating and kinda scary. and yeah dysthymia (or stress, anxiety, overwhelm, anything that can gently caress with executive function) all moderate adhd symptoms, especially the executive dysfunction. glad that it sounds like you're coming to the end of a trough 
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Sep 16, 2022 15:26
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I read through the Executive Functions summary .pdf, and it's a lot to consider. Emotional dysregulation seems like a huge huge deal, especially for me. I didn't realize that wasn't even part of the DSM IV diagnosis. The six commonly grouped clusters of symptoms are interesting. This seems like a theme with ADHD, but a lot of the most opposite responses to situations seem the most closely linked. Cluster 6 in social situations stood out in that way. Seems like I'm too reserved in a conversation... until I'm not. This framework feels a lot less nebulous than other explanations I've read. I can see the clusters that affect me more than others. Someone explained autism to me in a similar way a few months back, and it was very illuminating. Instead of a linear spectrum of high- to low-functioning, it was a circle with regions that represented aspects of life that were more or less affected. This seems like the kind of nuance I needed. Oversimplifying things into high- or low-functioning seems misleading and toxic. I also grabbed the ADHD comorbidities book. Thanks again! EDIT: Yep, definitely hypomanic today. I think I'll visit my new pharmacist and ask a bunch of questions. Sounds like they might actually give a poo poo about people! I'm wondering if taking the strattera at the same time as 300mg of bupropion is a good idea. I had good results from breaking up my lamotrigine into a morning and evening 100mg dose, rather than 200mg all at once. Pretty sure that helped with my dehydration, too. I think I want to try splitting up the bupropion and maybe the strattera, too. I can take my morning and evening doses at a consistent time. Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 18:50 on Sep 16, 2022 |
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Sep 16, 2022 18:19
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The NHS access to therapies thing said I would be better off if I got some help but also wouldn't help me so lmao. Didn't think to ask why. Love my functional national healthcare system
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Sep 17, 2022 00:09
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Gave my notice at my lovely job after being told that I could only get a ".50 or $1" raise (after working there a year) due to the assistant managers being paid what I was asking for. I don't know why other people accepting dogshit money is now my problem but I'm going to be getting extremely mouthy during my last two weeks about how raises are possible after being continually told all year that people in my position are stuck at minimum wage. I wasn't expecting anything so honestly hearing that they'd give me one at all was surprising, but it's another example of the casual dishonesty employers rely on to depress wages.
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Sep 18, 2022 11:03
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edit: actually, there's a better thread for this.
Gene Hackman Fan has issued a correction as of 04:01 on Sep 19, 2022 |
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Sep 19, 2022 03:48
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